Turnbull 1 Mhairi Turnbull Interpersonal Communication Response Paper 1 26th January 2012 Searching for Self Many people

spend their entire lives searching for themselves and trying to discover who they are. As human beings, we have a constant battle with satisfaction, always trying to be the best we can be, always trying to live life to the fullest, and always trying to develop a deeper understanding of who we are while attempting to be completely satisfied with our discovery. Julia Wood (2013) explains that communication with others is one of the main ways we discover our self. As infants, we quickly learn how to communicate through non-verbal cues and gradually develop verbal communication. At a young age, we are subconsciously able to pick up on how others perceive us through interaction, and as we grow, we become extremely aware of how others respond to our personality. In Julia Woods seventh edition Interpersonal Communication: Everyday Encounters, Wood explains Meads theory of self-discovery through communication, which is broken into two perspectives, particular others and the Generalized Others. Particular others are those from whom we first experience feedback and perspectives on ourselves. In a childs life, particular others consist of

Turnbull 2 important people in their lives such as family, specifically parents and siblings, and caregivers. If we are being cared for, treated with importance, and shown love as children, then, as we grow up and develop our self, we will have a high self worth, understand that we are important, and deserve respect and love. If children are neglected or if parents communicate that they do not love their children, they will grow up with a low self worth, which is often hard to reverse. If a parent uses affirming language such as well done, youre beautiful, youre brave, or youre smart, this boosts selfesteem and self worth. The same applies when negative language is used; it will have a negative affect on the child. This communication can be known as direct definition through which a parent defines the child by directly labeling him/her and his/her behaviors. Direct definition also affects our personality; for example, if you parents tell you that you are funny, you will learn to see yourself as funny and you will try to further develop that trait. In my opinion, particular others are the most important thread of this theory. A vivid memory I remember from my childhood was the constant affirmation of how precious my parents thought that I was. They often told me I was very girlie, which was followed by my mother dressing me from head to toe in pink. My father often called me his princess, so I was very aware of how special I was to him, which greatly boosted my self-esteem. I am now 19 years old, my favorite color is pink, and I love all things girlie. It is amazing how true Meads theory is, and how much we hold onto the communication directed towards us from a very young age.

Turnbull 3 The second part of finding ones self through communication is known as the generalized other. This influence is much broader than particular others, and refers to society and social groups. This perception group involves many factors such as, culture, gender, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic class. There are three ways we are influenced by widely accepted social views: interaction with others, media and institutions, and institutions that organize our society. We learn that if we are female we should be a mother and a wife; if we are male, we should be a provider. Our cultures shape us greatly. If people around us value certain things, and share those values, should it be morals, political views, or religions, we too will share those cultural values. I grew up in Glasgow, Scotland and did not move to Austin, Texas until I was 12 years old. Shortly after moving across the pond, I experienced a few challenging years of feeling extremely lost. I had grown up learning through my parents perspectives who I was, but as a result of the move, I was forced to adapt to the changed society and culture around me. It was extreme culture shock. For the first time in my life, I was struggling to interpret the interactions I was experiencing everyday, and what made things harder was coming home to my parents familiar communication. Although Scotland and Texas have many similarities, I had not prepared myself for the culture change. The difference in morals and the strong views people held which were so unfamiliar to anything I had experienced before seemed extremely disruptive to my self. As I grew older I was able to adapt to American

Turnbull 4 society while still feeling like myself. I now feel more at home in Texas than I do in Scotland, and I have become fluent in translating the perspectives of multiple cultures. Finding ones self does not happen over night; we search for it our entire lives, and it develops as we interact with others through communication (Wood 58). We grow and adapt to our surroundings determined by the feedback we receive from particular others and our culture. As we learn to accept ourselves, gradually feeling good with who we are, we are embracing Meads amazing theory.

Works Cited Wood, Julia T.. Interpersonal communication: everyday encounters . 7th ed.

Turnbull 5 Boston, MA: Wadsworth, 2013. Print.