Lingua France!

One of the most nerve wracking things about going abroad is speaking the language. You vaguely remember picking up bits and pieces from secondary school yet the instant you open your mouth, it drifts away in a soap bubble. Since you dont want to come across as a Benidorm tourist who speaks English ultra loudly and points at everything, your metamorphosis into a puddle of sweat is complete. Take French, for example. Most of us learned French at school, many French phrases and concepts have infiltrated our culture, and its the second most popular holiday location for we Brits (Spain pips it to the post). So why does our French turn into a soggy, mispronounced mess, reminiscent of Officer Crabtree in Allo, Allo? Its time to change this. Forget stodgy old sentences about uncles opening windows or aunts holding pens. Lets find French phrases you might actually use during your stay. (Ive missed out the pronunciation; it varies from source to source and can be ropey to say the least).

Meetings and Greetings Welcome (to greet somebody): Bienvenue! Im alright (so-so): Comme-ci, comme ca. Youre welcome! (for thanks): Il n'y a pas de quoi I missed you so much!: Tu m'as tellement manqu!

General Conversation What have you been up to? (informal): Quoi de neuf? Ive been really busy: J'ai t trs occup(e) Same as usual/not much: Comme dhabitude/pas grand-chose Do you smoke?: Tu fumes (informal), vous fumez (polite) Im trying to give up: J'essaye d'arrter

Directions

Where is the ....?: Ou se trouve/Ou est ... Its next to: a cote de Behind/in front of: Derriere/devant Up/down: en haut/en bas Near to/ far from: Pres de/loin de

Flirting (Some of these were very direct! Ive opted for the milder ones). Do you come here often?: Est-ce qu tu viens ici souvent? Can I buy you a drink?: Puis-je vous offrir boire? Text me later: Texte-moi un peu plus tard. My place or yours?: Chez moi ou chez toi?

Hotels I dont know how long Ill be staying: Je ne sais pas combien de temps je vais rester Does the room have air conditioning?: Y a-t-il la climatisation dans la chambre? Ive lost my keys: J'ai perdu mes cls Please may I have a towel?: Puis-je avoir une serviette de bain, s'il vous plat? May I have a room with an ensuite?: Je voudrais une chambre avec salle de bain? (NB: Our sense of the word ensuite means absolutely nothing to them!)

Shopping No thanks, Im just browsing: Non, merci, je regarde (tout simplement). Im looking for: Je cherche Are there any sales?: Y a-t-il des soldes? I dont like it: a ne me plat pas. It doesnt fit/suit me: a ne me va pas.

Do you take credit cards?: Est-ce que vous acceptez les cartes de crdit? Ill take ...: J'en prendrai comme a. Please may I have a receipt?: Est-ce que je pourrais avoir un reu?

Health I need to see a doctor: Je dois voir un docteur Have you any pain killers?: As-tu un cachet? I feel sick: J'ai la nausea Im on medication: Je suis sous traitement Im pregnant: Je suis enceinte I have diarrhoea: J'ai la diarrhe

For further information, follow these links! BBC Languages: French: With a mixture of sound bites, video clips and exercises, its probably the most comprehensive language tool online! Affinity Holidays: Looking for a holiday home for your French retreat? Try Affinity Holidays, suppliers of gorgeous villas in the south of France! Go South France: In some respects the South of France is an undiscovered gem. Find out the best things to see and do during your trip.