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4.5.

2013

Sunday Standard - Online Edition

Still I rise
You may write me down in history?With your bitter, twisted lies,?You may trod me in the very dirt?But still, like dust, I'll rise. Maya Angelou Certain dates are etched on Salehe Nsigayes mind that he reels them off effortlessly. December 1st 2001, the date of his arrival at the Dukwi Refugee Camp. Then there is 22nd November 2001, he calls it his freedom day (The date I broke from the vicious circle of hating and being hated), when he slipped out of Burundi to escape threats that had been made on his life. Nsigaye lifts his shirt to reveal scars around the pelvic area, a reminder of the injuries sustained after being assaulted by the militant youths of Burundis governing party at the time. His crime had been to work as a full-time organizer for an opposition party. Undeterred by the beating, he carried on with his work. Then several messages were relayed that next time, he would be killed. Each day it got riskier until I decided to break away from politics, he says. I wanted to break from anything to do with conflict. And so began the week-long journey which culminated with him crossing into Botswana at Kazungula on November 28th another important date not to be forgotten. Calling it an emergency escape, he carried no travelling documents. He had taken only his ID and birth certificate. There was no luggage; just the clothes he was wearing and US$30 in various denominations. Part of the amount was used to pay for a passage in the ferry through Lake Tanganyika. By the time he reached the Zambian capital Lusaka, the money had run out. But that did not deter him from carrying on with the journey that he thought would lead him to South Africa. He had to improvise. I had to talk nicely to truck drivers, and they were often sympathetic. Most would give me a ride and when we stopped along the way they would buy me a meal and a drink, he says. But it appears forces bigger than him had conspired that he would not go beyond Botswana. In Gaborone, he was told that the truck would be delayed, and not proceed to South Africa immediately. It was the truck driver who suggested that he seek help at the police station, and even pointed out Gaborones Central Police Station to him. When I left Burundi, I didnt know about Botswana. I knew very little English, and now here I was, explaining my presence in the country to the Botswana police, he explains the irony. The police took me to the UNHCR (UN Refugee Agency), where again I explained my situation. With the formalities out of the way, three days later, he was on the road to Dukwi. And then began the ordeal that all refugees go through to sit and wait. I was happy to be in a peaceful place, but it was confusing at first. You dont know when
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4.5.2013

Sunday Standard - Online Edition

you will leave; you only know you have entered. You dont know the people. The consolation is that you are safe; there is no violence. But what do you do with the time? You have 24 hours. Do you sleep? Its more like a prison, but in a prison you serve time and you know when you will leave. But with this prison, when do you leave? Where do you go, if you ever leave at all? You are young. You want to achieve happiness by changing the life of another person. You want to be useful. So most of the time you just sit and think, he reflects. The first month, he spent a lot of time in solitary reflection and he says that helped him realize his own limitation, and the situation he was in. I realized that I didnt have much say in my life anymore because I had asked for protection. But what does protection mean? I saw people in the camp who had been there since the 1990s and 1970s. Would I die here? In fact, there were moments when I feared that I might also die there, he says. A week into his arrival, Nsigaye began to explore his surroundings by walking about the camp. During one of those walks he saw something that lifted his spirit and for the first time convinced him that there was hope. It was secondary school. Since it was the holiday period, there was no-one around to enquire from about the enrolment prospects. So he sat and waited out the weeks. Back home he had gone up to Form Four, and could have proceeded had the urge to play a role in helping to bring about liberation not been too aggressive. At the beginning of the new school year, he passed the entrance aptitude test and, and was placed in Form Five. He had just one year to do what he should have done in two years and in a language he was never instructed in, English. It was a challenge, he says. The first English test I failed terribly. My adjectives were coming after nouns. I was the last in the English test, but I was not discouraged. I knew I would work hard. It was just a matter of time. The first term was not easy. In Maths I was just ok, but in RE, I have Islamic background, and now I had to learn a lot about the Bible. Some things were conflicting. In Islam you cant say Jesus is the son of God. In Islam, God doesnt produce children. So I had two opposing ideas that I had to reconcile. In class I was saying one thing, and in the mosque I was saying something else. But even as his religious orientation was being challenged to its core, he was intrigued by what he calls the beauty of Christianity its emphasis on forgiveness. He says the more he put forgiveness into perspective and sought to apply it to his life situation his healing process began in earnest. I realized that when you have anger its like drinking poison and expecting the object of your anger to die; but you are the one dying. I chose to forgive those who hurt me and those who didnt protect me. I decided to forgive myself and accept my situation, which was that I am not back home, I am in a new place, I have to learn new life skills, and learn to live with little, he says. When the final results were released, he had scored 5As, 2Bs and a C. Perhaps the biggest irony was that two of the As were for English and RE.

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4.5.2013

Sunday Standard - Online Edition

I saw the results as a testament that I could start a new life. My dream was to go to university, but I didnt know of any course. In the camp we didnt know what happens outside and what the job market demands. You really want to do something and make a difference. You want to believe that the future is bright, but in what direction? he says. Then followed what he calls a dry period the five year wait before he was awarded a scholarship to proceed to university. I ask Nsigaye to describe the emotions as the years go by. That is the time you wish you were a Motswana, he replies. Time is moving and age is catching up. In 2008, aged 32, at the next cycle of the Albert Einstein German Academic Refugee Initiative (DAFI) Scholarship Programme, he was awarded a full scholarship to study information systems at University of Botswana. The flickers of hope were awakened again. He was a man on a mission. He wanted to score twice with a single opportunity. So he completed a four-year programme in three years, and in the remaining year he did a Post Graduate Diploma in Education (PGDE). I achieved two qualifications with a single scholarship, he says satisfactorily. So why did he decide to take PGDE? In Standard Four, I once said I wanted to be a teacher. I had a promise to fulfill, he replies. When I enrolled for PGDE I was very happy. The first lesson was psychology of teaching. I had never been happier. I wondered why I didnt do education from the beginning. I felt I had discovered who I was; the teacher in me. When Nsigaye tells me that he is now registered for a Masters in Computer Information Systems, still at UB, I ask him what he makes of his achievement. I dont think I have achieved anything to be really proud of. I feel the most important thing would be to be of benefit to the community I am in. My academic success is not an indicator that I will succeed until I cause a positive change in a boy or girl through inspiring, guiding, counselling and asking them questions on how they see themselves in future, he states. Together with other DAFI scholars, Nsigaye founded the Give Back Consultancy, a vehicle through which they undertake social responsibility initiatives. Nsigaye says they do this in gratitude to the hospitality they have received from the government of Botswana, as well as the generosity of the German people through DAFI. As part of their outreach programme they give free tutorials to for urban refugee children in both primary and secondary school as well as interested Batswana students in Form Three and Form Five. Someone caused a positive change in my life, and I feel I have to give back. That is the rent we can pay on this earth for breathing free oxygen, he replies when asked to explain the reason for the groups commitment to its outreach programme. By : Mesh Moeti Interview - 2012-12-20 15:13:01

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