My beloved Eberhard,

I plan to read all of them, little by little. I cannot read them

quickly, though, so if you need one or the other of them back, I will
send it. I have begun the one on Finney. It has made a tremendous
impression on me so far, and I hope there’ll be a blessing on it.
Yesterday evening we were at Herr Siewert’s house with Fräulein
von Nostiz, the Sallwürks, and a few others. The topic of infant
baptism came up, and everyone said that according to the Bible it
is not a valid practice. I am not at all certain. I must say that it
doesn’t seem very important to me. Up till now my view has been
that Jesus instituted baptism in order to distinguish Christians
from children of the world, and that whoever has been baptized
has thus died with Christ. It’s true that nowadays everyone’s
baptized as a child. But if we would allow ourselves to be re-
baptized, we would remain the same in the view of the world – we
would become “Christians,” which is what we are already. I don’t
know if I’ve expressed myself clearly. Else, on the other hand,
feels fairly certain that infant baptism is not valid. She said
yesterday that if she came to understand the matter more clearly,
she would have herself re-baptized. At this Mama became furious
(I had also said that if I recognized it as being in accordance to
God’s word, I would do it) and said it was blasphemy. She added
that anyone who had herself baptized would be committing a
grave sin and would not be allowed to remain in the house. She
said she would not live under the same roof with someone who
had been re-baptized and, reminding us of the commandment to
honor father and mother, sternly forbade us even to entertain such
an idea. Today I am very sad about all this. Even though I clearly
acknowledged that for the time being it was out of the ques tion
for me to be re-baptized, I insisted that I would unreservedly do
the will of God as I recognized it, in his strength. Olga always tries
to mediate. She finds Else and me too narrowminded, though in
many things she seems to understand us. Mama, by the way, also
said she would forbid us from going to the meetings, as we are
getting too wound up. What do you think about baptism? In the
Acts of the Apostles it says several times, “He had himself
baptized with his whole household.” At least now, I don’t feel this
is God’s will for me. O Ebbo, pray about this, and also for Mama
and Else (but don’t write anything about it to Mama )! Now, one
more question in regard to the Holy Spirit which worries me
somewhat. I can’t say that I’ve experienced a moment when I
received the Holy Spirit, as for example Finney or Fräulein von
Nostiz can, to the degree that (like them) I could not control
myself for joy. I believe I know something of the Holy Spirit – how
else could I now recognize so much that I did not see earlier in the
Bible and in my life, and what else gives me the certainty of having
a Savior? But above all, I want to know how you are doing. How
late do you work and on what? May God give you strength; without
that, it can’t be accomplished. Your studies are always in my
prayers. Oh, my Ebbo, I look forward so much to seeing you in
Breslau. In three weeks we will really be together again, and then
we can talk over so many things. In faithful love, your Emmy Olga
has just been to Pastor Hobbing’s. She told him all about us, and
he said he is in agreement with us in general, but not totally. He
doesn’t like Bernhard Kühn and his book, Back to the First Love.
He said Kühn is an uneducated man. He finds it unconscionable
that someone would talk to such young Christians about baptism
and get them upset about it.

When the von Hollander parents realized that their

daughters’ questioning of accepted church teaching was
more than just a phase, they were beside themselves. Frau
von Hollander became so distraught that she said she’d kill
herself if they were re-baptized. After all, such an act of
apostasy would result in expulsion from the established
church, and that meant far more than simply being struck
from the membership rolls. In a society where the state
church operated everything from schools and universities
to hospitals and cemeteries, it would be social suicide. For
young women of good breeding – women like the von
Hollander sisters, whose family had loyally served state
and church for generations – it would be an unthinkable
scandal.

There is so much that moves me today that I don’t know how I’ll ever end this
letter. And I long for you so terribly ! This morning at eight o’clock I went
out on my bicycle, because I had no peace at home waiting for your letter.
Then the mail carrier comes past the bridge. I jump off my bicycle and ask
him for the mail, and he hands me – a magazine! Crestfallen, I ride on, out
into the wonderful morning air. To right and left the new green grass is
sprouting, and the sun shines, friendly and warm. I keep silently praying,
“Lord, make me joyful in spite of it, even if I have no letter! And bless
Emmy, and help me to thank you that she has so much to do for you that she
cannot write!” But it was terribly hard – I couldn’t quite get over my
disappointment, though it did improve because it was so glorious outdoors. I
got off my bicycle by a little stream with beautiful woods and bushes and a
lovely view across the fields, read Matthew 26, and prayed for you and
myself. About ten o’clock I was back home again. Imagine how infinitely happy
I was when I found two letters there with your beloved handwriting! Thank you
for everything you wrote! I also had to thank Jesus for the fact that you and
Else have decided to do God’s will in all circumstances, insofar as you
understand his Word. True rebirth can never be without this kind of
decisiveness. I am moved that the issue of baptism is confronting you so
seriously. I pray urgently that God, and no one else, leads you. This issue
is closely connected with the whole question of the outward form that the
church of God should take, which we will talk about together sometime. Just
now I took out my old notes on baptism, and looked through them, and wrote to
Else – the letter is also intended for you. I am so happy that, God willing,
you will be with me in three weeks. How I long for that! This time, Emmy,
please put together all the points and questions we need to talk over. Don’t
forget! If you follow my suggestion below, we will be reading John 3 together
on Whitsunday. That is as follows: I would very much like to start on Mark
the day after tomorrow, firstly for the sake of what I’m working on, and
secondly for your sake. We’d be finished with it on May 16 and could then
start John. I am now reviewing the Gospels – that is, comparing and studying
the three synoptic Gospels (until May 16) – and then starting on John, all in
Greek of course. In the mornings I read it only with my heart, and then later
I work it through. I think it would be good for you also to read the Gospels
thoroughly first (comparing them all with Luke), before starting with Acts
and the Epistles. Please write to me right away if you are in agreement. The
Gospel of Mark brings the acting and working of Jesus (less so his words) to
our eyes in an uncommonly vivid way. Thank you for asking in such detail
about my studies. I have to say that I am dissatisfied with what I have
accomplished this week. God gave me strength to establish something of a
basis for my work in the coming weeks. But I still got far too little done.
First I had to arrange a number of things here, take care of correspondence,
etc. I basically have to set aside, at least for now, all the correspondence
I brought along, a good deal of which has to do with my kingdom work in
various places. In addition, I had things to prepare for the university; and
thirdly, I didn’t always have the energy I would have wished for. The last
days were better, however. Joyfully forward ! Let us believe and pray with
greater earnestness, and I will achieve more and more every week. Oh, how I
need your intercession! As to the books, keep them for now. I have no time to
read them. They are all significant. Finney was wholly decisive in making me
determined to become a saver of souls for many – yes many! God used him on
me. It is excellent that you are reading him now, and that he is making such
an impression on you. Read his life first and his talks afterward. That’s
probably what you are planning anyway. The fact that Finney – as well as our
dear Fräulein von Nostiz and many others who belonged to God through the ages
(above all, the apostles at Pentecost) – received the Holy Spirit in a way
that involved powerfully stirred emotions and other outward signs must not
make us think that the Spirit is limited to such accompanying phenomena. That
is far from the case. No one can call Jesus “Lord” (and thus belong to him)
except through the Holy Spirit, as it says in 1 Corinthians 12:3, Romans 8:9:
“You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if
the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of
Christ, he does not belong to Christ”; and 8:14: “because those who are led
by the Spirit of God are sons of God.” And anyone whom the Spirit of God
guides and leads is God’s child. For most, this comes about quite naturally
and unnoticed, by means of the Word, sober reflection, and circumstances.
Thus, for example, our engagement was undoubtedly a leading of the Holy
Spirit. When we know Jesus, love Jesus, and follow Jesus, we have the Holy
Spirit, for he shows and glorifies Jesus. See John 15:26: “When the Counselor
comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes
out from the Father, he will testify about me”; and 16:13–14: “But when he,
the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not
speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what
is yet to come. He will bring glory to me by taking from what is mine and
making it known to you.” It is important, however, to distinguish here. The
same Spirit who 1) makes his dwelling in every converted person and who
glorifies Jesus wants 2) to take possession of that person and fill him so
completely and utterly that he will be at his constant disposal as an
instrument for others. This means being equipped with the Holy Spirit to
serve. This was what gave Finney the strength to save so many thousands. And
it is as a result that we are now seeing such a powerful awakening in Halle.
Finally, the Spirit wants 3) to use us to convince the world as to sin,
justice, and judgment. See John 16:7 –11: “I tell you the truth: It is for
your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come
to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. When he comes, he will convict
the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment: in regard
to sin, because men do not believe in me; in regard to righteousness, because
I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer; and in regard to
judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned.” We are
capable of service only through the Spirit. The more we have the Spirit, the
more souls will we be able to rescue. And receiving the Spirit, who is a
personage, will always be possible for us if we are surrendered to Jesus in
faith. Yes, we do have him. Sometimes we are filled with the Spirit all of a
sudden; but sometimes it happens gradually, as we allow ourselves to be
detached more and more from self and grow to trust him only and totally. Let
us pray, pray, pray for the Holy Spirit. It is actually very simple. It only
appears to be a difficult question. I, too, was occupied by it for a long
time before it became clear to me. But now I must finally close as I have
several other letters to write. When you wrote that Olga told Pastor Hobbing
everything, surely you didn’t mean that she said anything about our
engagement? Please clarify this immediately! I’m praying especially for Olga.
It seems to me that she lacks full trust, that she is afraid of things going
badly if she obeys Jesus completely. That is not faith in the full sense – it
is not faith at all. It is more like seeking and experimenting. Or am I being
too skeptical? Until Saturday evening, then. Auf Wiedersehen! Loving and
trusting you boundlessly,

your Eberhard