Being a science student

-Ayushi Jangalwa
The following is a piece of written fiction. Any resemblance to its incidents, people or thoughts will be a coincidence and proof for the fact that reader is/was not the only one to undergo the fury of being a science student. Also, now being a college student, one will have a nostalgic experience reading the following

"I achieved the glory of being a science student after passing my 10 th grade with flying colors. But it was only later I came to know that 85pc or above was nothing extra ordinary as half of my new class had scored so. Well it was not going to affect my excitement for I was going to learn nothing but science and mathematics for the next two years. The best part being, social science was no more to be studied! Ah! We science students are practical and intelligent beings; we never had any strings attached to that thing called cramming, which is the whole idea of social science. It had ever been the business for the good for nothing, commerce students. Well, these were my beliefs when being a science student had just begun From the very beginning I was warned that +2 is not a piece of cake. But it was out of my scope of understanding how could subjects like physics and chemistry or math get hard for me. While attending my classes I realized I had embarked upon a path taken by great men in the past. I was learning about tiny atoms which made everything that exists, about the electron, the measurements of the micro as well as macro species, the numbers which didnt even exist. Wow! I felt so great and proud. I had begun working tirelessly, preparing for the entrance exam. My schedule became so hectic! I was a busy person. This earned an important position among those at my home. Seldom did I find any need to speak unnecessary things. I was to think science, speak science, laugh science and what not science! I had self-made science jokes, the greatness of which lied in their complexity since rarely did anyone understand them. I interpreted reality of life and times into concepts of physics and chemistry. First time ever I played cars with my toddler brother because I could learn about collisions practically. Love attracted me for the first time as I could see it as a spontaneous reaction. All the excitement ended with dreadful results. Just passed in some while not scoring great in even a single subject was what I had to show to my parents. It was

more than a shock to them. They took no time to take claim that I was hazardously distracted and that something was seriously wrong with their sincere child. Being caring and concerned, they took what was called the right decision for my future. Now, besides coaching class for entrance examination I was given the facility of extra tuitions for school based exams. They knew scoring in 12th board exam was equally important to entrance exams. Thanks to this, I needed not to make any effort to study hard, it was happening very naturally as I abided by the prescribed format of how to go about my last two years of school. I had produced the worst ever results of my life but that did not make me lose confidence. I knew finally in the next examination I am going to do well. After all everything I was taught, according to me, fitted well into gaps of my brain cells. The only reason for my seemingly bad performance was the over load of the amount of matter I was supposed to learn; I was not acquainted to it at all. And come on, everyone scored like me. So that was a reasonable excuse explanation. Well, I continued, lets say, life continued this way for about the next one year. This does prove I passed in 11th standard. I knew I was doing great, my exams went great, but only the hell knows how my teachers evaluated my answer sheets that my marks were so resistant to improvement. Teachers did not give me any special attention. Who really gave a damn to that? All that would have finally mattered was entrance exams and the college I would finally get. Serious thoughts and aspirations about the choice of college and course had begun. With that came more of fantasies and less of fascination towards studying hard. There were ideas of giving some break to myself. I needed a short break form cramming chemical equations, doing physics practical, out of the world mathematics problems and the useless optional subject. The break turned out to be a time of practicing the art of copying notes, pretending to be paying attention in class, escaping teacher even after not completing practical records. But I was not a senseless person to not realize I was doing disasters to myself. Better late then never, I pushed myself to come out of the break mood. But it was not something easy. Facing frustration of having lost some really precious time I was bound to also face the frightening faces of people who had great expectations from me. It was a time when I knew all this time I didnt have confidence but what they call over-confidence. I no more boasted about science being better than

commerce. All I wondered was what made me so passionate about this daydream turned nightmare! But thoughts apart, after having tasted bitter reality I had to cook my own sweet syrup. All I was left with were last two months for preparing. From two years it became two months! Board exams, entrances, college, parents, expectations, myself, worst results, peers, teachers; they all were on my mind apart from the likes of charge density, chromyl chloride, vector notations. I worked, I studied, tried making it ideal by making it work hard, study hard. I forced myself, I failed in it. Leisure won several times over the need of hour. Everything seemed like a mess. I thought I have lost it. I blamed those who pressurized me; I was inspired by some insane movies to pursue my penchant as career. However, every such thought was followed by a sense of understanding, an understanding that all these are excuses. Lets say it was a to and fro movement between determination and despair. Boards begun and since my life is not a page of a storybook nothing changed. Like ever before I felt I was prepared for exam, I wrote, I gave my best. But fear of result existed. Two months after my exams were done and my results were going to be declared, I made a declaration to all those with high expectations for me that they should be happy with what I have done. I revealed that I dont expect great results. But to everyones hope and my biggest shock cum surprise my result was the best one of my life. Everyone happy and satisfied celebrated for my achievement. But what continued to baffle me was how did that happen? The only answer was this: the pressure and the competition had made me lose confidence about my ability but what it could not really affect was my fascination to learn, to understand and to finally excel."