Awakening To The Infinite

A MAP OF THE AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

SHAFIN DE ZANE

AWAKENING TO THE INFINITE

A Map Of The Authentic Spiritual Journey SHAFIN DE ZANE

My goal in this document is to share with you the blueprint of the journey of authentic spiritual awaken- ing. 99% of spirituality right now seems to be some form of ego trip. So it is my sincere hope that this document will save you from years of needless confusion lost in pseudo spirituality and egoic mind games. I have done that for you having spent the last 20 years going through every kind of spiritual meta- physical teaching you can imagine. In this text, I am going to be as concise and simple as possible to save you time and also to ensure that, in times of need and crisis, you can remind yourself the gist without hav- ing to go through an entire book every time. Although very short, you will see that this document contains a map for your journey of spiritual evolu- tion. Take a printout, keep it handy, and refer back to it when you feel you are getting lost. This text is not a substitute for actual learning from a teacher, nor is it designed to help you in having a profound revelation. The idea is simple: when you have a map, you have an overview of the terrain, and when you have an overview, you can save time by going straight from point a to b, without having to get lost in needless swamps, mountains and ravines. This text is for those who do not like going around in circles for too long. I have tried to omit needless words. I hope you will appreciate that.

It always starts with profound discomfort, or a nagging psychological itch, or a genuine crisis. Something within us becomes aware that there is something more, something we are not Oiguring out, something just out of our reach but its there, very surely there. Its like our heart knows something that our brain does not and that creates an imbalance that makes us very uncomfortable. What is it that Im missing? When the question becomes powerful enough, the answer arrives in the form of a book, a discussion, or a teacher. Usually this Oirst level answer is some sort of Oix it type answer. We Oind some solution to our crisis, or we learn how to deal with our anxieties, how to make more money, or we are trained in the lan- guage of psychology, success coaching, self-improvement or personal development. Some people jump into more spiritual matters, but even then, usually in the beginning, the answer is Oix it variety. At this point we usually become happy for a while thinking we have found our solution to all our ques- tions. However this happiness rarely lasts very long, usually no more than a few months to maybe a year or so. But it serves its purpose; it whets our appetite and shows us the path to our inner world. The Seeker has been born, now the seeking begins. The Seeker, in all its varieties of seeking, has one ultimate agenda: how to become One with the true Source of power (some call it Oinding God, some call it returning to the Source, some call it becoming en- lightened). The Seeker looks around and sees the world in its appalling misery, his or her own less than perfect life, and says, There must be a solution to this! and the heart concurs Yes! There is! Keep seek- ing. The next level answer usually arrives in the form of some white magic type spiritual knowledge: how to make the universe do what I want it to do. People learn about the law of attraction, power of thought, or even full on magical rituals. And guess what? Lo and behold! It works! These are the happiest days of the Seeker! It has learned how to control the Universe. It feels it has found that thing that everyone is looking for and it feels now it can Oinally begin to party in life full steam ahead. Unfortunately, like all honeymoons, this also ends at some point and Life somehow teaches the Seeker that not all things are subject to its mind power and magic, in fact the more the Seeker uses those powers, the more life becomes complicated. The more the Seeker rigidly tries to hold on to magic and mind power, the more suffering it experiences. At some point the Seeker Oigures out there must be some other better way, and so the search continues. In the next level the Seeker learns the futility of control and is trained to surrender instead of trying to make everything go according to its own will and volition. It learns that the less one pushes, the less one Oights, the more one allows things to unfold, the more harmonious life becomes. This is a hard lesson for the Seeker to learn but once one learns it, life becomes easier again, with less conOlict, struggle and Oight. One learns the art of Olowing, the art of surrender. For a lot of people this level of learning is associated with a return to religion and an act of surrender to God and His will. Since most religions speak of surrender to Gods will, the Seeker believes that the an- swer must be in the religion itself. Some people stay stuck in this level forever because religion brings a tremendous sense of psychological security heaven, afterlife, a sense of familiarity due to ones own childhood conditioning, and not to men- tion the sense of solidarity with all other members of the same religion and psychological security is the ESSENCE of what the Seeker was seeking all this while. But no matter how much psychological security the Seeker Oinds in surrender, that nagging discomfort of not knowing does not go away. And at some point, after suffering ten years or ten life times, in one mo- ment of total honesty, total surrender, all consuming Oire of total destruction, the Seeker Oinally asks the root question, the question that collapses all other questions: Who Am I?
3

At this point, the Seeker realizes this profoundly uncomfortable thing: I dont know who I am, and since I dont know who I am, I cannot possibly know what anything means and all my beliefs and ideas are noth- ing but shadows! Everything I think is good, bad, real, unreal, are all based on the faulty premise of who I think I am. Since I dont even know who I am, how can I know what anything else is? This is usually referred to as the Dark Night Of The Soul, but what it really is, is the dark night of the Seeker, the ego. This dark night can last for days or months and as long as it lasts its very painful and even depressing. Yet ironically enough, the dark night lasts only as long it takes for the Seeker to get sick and tired of playing around and trying to avoid that Oinal confrontation with InOinity. The dark night has one purpose, to show the Seeker the futility of faking it! And so, one day after the long journey of seeking, after the painful period of not knowing anything, after suffering so much that one cant suffer anymore the next level answer arrives! The Seeker realizes this: there is NO Seeker! The one who has been seeking all this while is not a real per- son, its an IDEA, its a network of thoughts created through a process of years and years of conditioning: childhood, social, religious, economic, geographic, ethnic, psychological, spiritual conditioning! There is not even one seeker, the one with the name (put your own name here), but only a movement of thought that creates an illusion of individuality. So, the Seeker, for good reasons, tries to run! Run as far away as possible from this realization. Of all the things that the Seeker thought enlightenment would be, this was not on the list. The Seeker wanted to be enlightened, to know the deepest secrets of the Universe, to sit on the right hand of God but not this! At this point, if you are in the hands of a good teacher, before the Seeker is able to run away, the damage will be done, the Seeker will die, the seed will be planted, awareness will awaken, true spiritual awaken- ing will happen! The one who is behind all the seeking, behind all the ideas and knowledge, behind all the conditioning, behind all the Oilters has awakened. This is not the me who wanted to be enlightened, but something far deeper than me. This is not the Seeker, whose death is the hallmark of true awaken- ing, meaning genuinely we are no longer seeking anymore. This is One Life that background conscious- ness that pervades all reality, which is within each of us and yet beyond all that is created. However, no matter how good the teacher maybe, no one can keep you bound forever, and one day you walk away from the retreat or the ashram, or if it happened to you through your own efforts then your own meditation room. And after a period of blissful inner peace and unthinkable freedom you Oind that even if the Seeker is dead, the egoic consciousness is very much still there. And you wonder how is it that the ego still survives after such profound experience of awakening? (The ego is that that state of con- sciousness that allows you to perceive time and duality, it is the voice of the me.) The answer of course is that the ego is very much a necessary component of this physical world. It has its functions like clothes and cars have their functions. You need the ego to have social relationships, to make a proOit in a business, to play a sport and all that involves you perceiving duality in any shape or form. The ego is your lens through which you perceive duality. The problem of course happens when you get IDEN- TIFIED with the ego TOTALLY and believe that the egoic view of the world is the ONLY view and that is the ABSOLUTE truth rather than a point of view, like a world seen through a colored lens, which is what it really is. When you get IDENTIFIED with the ego, you feel everything and everyone is separate from you and life is basically you against the world. If you think through it you will Oind out that the moment you get identiOied with the ego, is the moment true compassion and empathy ends, and every action you per- form gives birth to conOlict, within and without. The next problem is that because this is a journey of evolution, and because we have spent millions of years or Oifty thousand years or Oifty life times (whichever you Oind easier to believe) in the grasp of our ego (which means a speciOic way of using our brain), its very easy for us to fall back into the egoic mode of perception from our awakened state which is a very recent evolutionary achievement.
4

And so the rest of the journey for the Awake One, as long as we are here on this earth in this body, is to play this game of cars and credit cards and marriages and children with as much fun as possible remain- ing as awake as possible. In an ideal situation, we play our game of duality intensely and passionately with integrity, impeccability and style, all the while remaining aware of our true self in the background, which is the One Consciousness that is the same within everyone and everything. We play this game of du- ality as long as it is fun and enjoyable and when its getting too serious, we simply snap back to our origi- nal state. We do what we need to do but we never forget the truth in our heart. The problem here of course, at least in the beginning of the awakened path when stabilization is still not complete, is that when the game gets intense and serious its so easy to get sucked into the full egoic mode again and begin the struggle and Oight, and before we know it, we Oind our self knee deep in conOlict in- wards and outwards. Yet by making this mistake again and again, we learn not to make this mistake again and again, and slowly we stabilize. Once full stabilization is complete a whole new journey of evolution begins. On the transpersonal level involves bringing awakening to the collective human consciousness, and on a personal level something far beyond what words can describe at this point in time. Life becomes a glorious adventure Oilled with real magic and miracles, unfathomable inner peace and freedom, true love and real loving relationships. One of the temptations that haunt the awakened one once in a while in the beginning is to stay away from the madness of human suffering and hide somewhere far from the maddening crowd. Unfortunately, run- ning away to seclusion and personal comfort is usually not an option for the truly awakened one. True awakening is the beginning of true compassion, true love, which means any selOish behavior is no longer something an awake being indulges in, or is allowed to indulge in. There is simply too much suffering caused by ignorance in this world and an awake being is the bearer of light in this nightmare we call hu- man life. Once in while we may remove ourselves from the game to recuperate and rejuvenate; but then we come back again to help all the others who are going through the same ordeal that we once went through.

Question from a reader: I read the Awakening To The In:inite. There is no seeker". I am obviously not awakened, as I dont under- stand. Lots of ego indeed - because not only do I not understand, I feel embarrassed about not understand- ing. The seeker is non-existent? A :ixture of conditioning? We just are? Or worse, we are not? I am so confused. I do not have a teacher, let alone a good one. "This is the One Life... that background consciousness that pervades all reality, which is within each of us and yet beyond all that is created". The "seeker" in me is dying to understand... or maybe it is just my ego. How do stop being consumed by ego? What is the practical manifestation of oneness? You sent me this message - why? But it is here now, I have read it, you have an obligation to clarify my confu- sion. Answer: (For the purpose of simplicity and anonymity, I will be using the name John instead of the name of the per- son I am addressing. Simply use your own name whenever you see the name John.) Thank you for your wonderfully honest call for help. It is this honesty that is the critical ingredient neces- sary for awakening. All seekers are curious, most are serious, many say they are willing to do whatever it takes, but few are honest enough to admit that they dont understand at all what is going on. The question what do I really know for certain? is the least favorite question of the seeker. But it is this question that collapses the framework of belief system that supports the ego to exist. Here is the simple mechanics of the ego: mold reality according to what is acceptable to the conditioned network of beliefs. In simple words, try to make life Oit into what the ego believes is right, wrong, good, bad etc. In even more simple words: to make the present moment understandable by Oiltering it through its already existing database of belief systems (and desires about what the future should be according to those beliefs). But that cannot be, for the present moment is never an exact replica of the past, it may ap- pear that way but it never is, and so the ego is forever in turmoil, moment by moment, with life itself, for- ever Oighting, resisting, trying to Oit the ocean into a pretty little wine glass. And so life is tiring for the ego, rightfully so, because its forever having to struggle! So here is the simplest way to start stepping out of the ego prison of separation and struggle: know that it is not you! The voice in your head is not you. Your mind is not you. They are all your tools in your tool bag, but not you! In fact there is no one ego or one John either, its simply a dynamically changing move- ment of thoughts creating in an illusion of continuity supported by a name: John! There is no one unique permanent John in there, it changes day by day, as it adjusts to the environment, and takes on the shape of whatever Oits the environment. Think about it, the John at 5 years has no resemblance with John at 25 years. Only the name remains, everything else has changed, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and of course physically. The illusion is that it is one person who is changing and growing, its not. Its simply a movement of thought that is supported by a name, seated in a body. You are neither this name, nor this movement of thought. You are that which is observing this all. When you are awake you simply stop identifying yourself with the voice in your head, with your thoughts, with the strong emotional pull created by the conditionings of the past, with your conditioned beliefs about life, with your desires/projections of the future, with the shape of the ego moment by moment as it tries to assume mastery over life itself! But mind you this is not an exercise or an effort or some sort of self-discipline, it is a simple knowing like I am not a chair, it is what I sit on, and while I like to sit on it

when I want to, I am not going to hold on to it with dear life, and I do not need to convince myself every morning that I am not a chair! What is the practical manifestation of oneness? No struggle with life moment by moment, freedom from continuous background anxiety and fear, the experience of true empathy, love, freedom and beauty and the big enchilada of course you are awake! Hope this helps. I know this will only intensify your search even more, and that is the idea. It is the Oire of frustration of meaningless seeking that will burn down the ego one day and then you simply realize that awakening is the simplest thing in the world no special knowledge, prolonged spiritual training, sitting in cave for twenty years is necessary unfortunately when we are in a pleasant dream no one wants to wake up, it is only that the nightmare gets intense enough that we suddenly wake up and do not wish to go back to sleep for the rest of the night. Ask more questions as it comes to you, but ask only when you have meditated on what I already said, do not be lazy, think for yourself Oirst, then ask the right questions. Your life depends on it. Its not a joke. And have fun with all this. Remember, honesty is the key ingredient here. If you are truly honest, life will send you answers before you can even formulate the questions.

Question from a reader: Hi Sha:in... I have read your teachings and i think you can help me with these problems. Let me give you my life style and problem I'm facing. I'm a student, just a teenager, 17 years old boy, study- ing in a good college, living a good life. The problem Im facing is that I have lots of work like serving my family. Sometimes have to cook food have to clean the house. I'm happy with all those things because I do this from my heart. I love my mom really and she is too old to do all these things alone. My problem is I can't manage the time... I don't have time to study. Actually I have but I don't know why I can't study for more than 30 to 50 minutes. I have friends and I give time to them too. I daily make my mind that tomorrow I'll do everything and do this, that and bla!! bla!! I have been facing this problem for about 1 year and that tomorrow hasn't came yet. Hope you understand the problem. And one more thing is I lack con:idence When sometimes have to do presentation in front of people my words shake and I can't express what I have in me. Same goes when I sit in exams. Please suggest some ways for me. Answer: Here is the problem with human nature: when we are in a pleasant dream, no one wants to wake up. It is only when the nightmare gets intense, we suddenly wake up and do not wish to go back to sleep any more. The problems you are facing in life are primarily because you are totally IDENTIFIED with your mind. You believe that the thoughts in your head is WHO YOU ARE, you believe the voice in your head is YOUR voice, you believe one day you will be rich and famous with 5 supermodel girlfriends by using your mind, and as long as you believe in all this, you are going to suffer because of your mind because your mind is sick, not sane, not awake. Try to understand this: YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND, YOU ARE NOT THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD! It will probably be very hard for you to accept at this age because you are still going to believe that one day your mind will bring you all those wonderful things in life. It wont! And even if you become rich, famous etc through stupendous effort, you will still suffer because the human mind is sick, it is neurotic, it is stuck in a glitch of evolution. You will suffer because you will never be able to be present, in this moment, and en- joy what you earned, you will be stuck in your mind drifting back and forth between the past and the fu- ture, in anxiety, in turmoil, in fear. There is no point in having a million dollars in a dream. You will not be able to taste, touch or feel anything while you are sleeping. This is not your personal problem; it is a global problem. OPEN YOUR EYES and look at the world today... look at the wars and brutality, the strange economic system that keeps 80% of the world slaves to the other 20%, look at the environmental pollution due to unbridled greed of the human race, look at the blind suffering humans cause to all other animals, and then ask yourself: is this a sane race? Its not. And you are part of this insane race; you have the same madness within you that the rest of humanity has. What is the solution? First become fully clear that this is true, that you are in trouble, that you are stuck in a prison, that all your friends and family are stuck along with you. Unfortunately, by serious struggle and effort they have all Oigured a way to be comfortable within this prison and if you tell them that they are in a prison, they will try to kill you! Like you will try to forget what you are reading now very soon, because it will make
8

you uncomfortable too. Its much easier to remain stuck within this prison, there is TV, there is daily run- ning after this or that, there is the bittersweet insane drama of personal relationships, there is the prom- ise of an unseen future that everything will become good some day by doing the same things over and over today. Here is the deOinition of insanity: doing the same things over and over expecting different re- sults! Second, remember this: YOU ARE NOT THE MIND, YOU ARE NOT THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD. Meditate on this as much as possible. This is your KEY to freedom. Third, remember there is great magic right here, right now, where you are. Search for it. Its real. There is great bliss, great freedom, great joy, great fun, exactly where you are. You don't have to go to the moun- tains to seek for it, its in your kitchen, in your backyard, in the morning sun, in the inOinite space that is visible right above your head on a clear night. Never stop looking until you Oind it. And when you Oind it, don't be ashamed to enjoy it, there is nothing more important in life than being awake to the present mo- ment and enjoying the magical reality that is our inheritance. Only a happy man can make anyone else happy. Be happy Oirst. Don't be lost in the nightmare of unfulOilled desires that is the mark of the insane ego mind. Third, read as much as you can, read like a mad man, read everything you can Oind on spirituality and hu- man psychology. One day you will realize there is no point in reading much, but hopefully until that day arrives, you will have learned some interesting things that will help you on the way. And Oinally, never never never never give up! Never let anyone convince you that life is supposed to be struggle and Oight, money and power, dog eat dog. There is great magic here. Remember that. If your search is true, you will Oind the answer that is a guarantee.

Question from a reader: Thank you Sha:in for sharing this report. I will have to reread several times because I understand glimpses of what you are exposing but other parts are still unclear. Particularly the part about getting to realize that awakening is an idea. I'm not sure I really understood that part. The major struggle I face in every day situa- tions is I think how to let go of the ego and still have boundaries and some type of fear? Its dif:icult for me to formulate the question. Answer: Awakening is not an idea, the idea of what awakening will be for "me" is an idea; especially if that idea re- volves around the spiritual marketing of bright lights, cosmic consciousness, one sudden rapturous expe- rience etc. The ego loves all those ideas because it implies that the ego will one day attain "spiritual en- lightenment" and become some sort of a super ego. Awakening, unfortunately for the ego, is waking up from the dream of the "me", which is the end of ego dominated worldview. True awakening is not a personal thing, it is the awakening of life itself, which is your innermost essence. Once that true awakening happens (as a glimpse or as a permanent transformation, both of which are common, with the former being far more common than the latter), you no longer see life in component parts, isolated series of events, through the Oilter of the "me", but simply have a feeling realization that the whole thing is a dance, and it is who you are. Now here is the hardest part for most people, the "major struggle" as you wrote below, even after they have had glimpses of the One Life... to not Oight when conOlict arises, to SEE unity instead of illusory frag- ments when the game gets serious, to not fall apart when things dont go how "me" wants it to go. True awakening is one simple root realization Oirmly planted in the heart: the whole thing is One, nothing is separate, nothing is other than you, and nothing is happening by accident. Spiritual enlightenment, AKA awakening is an evolutionary achievement of the human race, in simple terms its nothing but effective brain management. Look around, at least 5000 years of civilization and things are getting bad to worse, the whole world is getting crazier and crazier, 40,000 children die each day due to lack of food, while countries are destroyed systematically for oil, gas, and military advantage. Spiritual awakening is awakening from that madness of the ego dominated worldview: I and you are sepa- rate and as long as I can maintain my illusion of certainty and success, what happens to you is none of my business. Awakening is not an idea, its not what you "should" do, its not spiritual tripping, its not doing the right things so you can manipulate the Universe in someway in your favor. Awakening is doing what you need to do but never forgetting the truth in your heart: we are all One, we are all in this game together, none of us are going anywhere until each one of us are Oinally free from the madness of the ego-mind and body. True awakening is true love. Love being the recognition of yourself in the other. And yes, that includes ani- mals too! This is all nice talk for the ego and it wants to believe, it even pretends it believes, until conOlict arises, and then it forgets everything and becomes the neurotic entity that it really is and does whatever it thinks will bring the most psychological certainty. If that means rob, kill, destroy, hate, dominate, connive and gener- ally oppose life itself, it will do that. Anything at all, psychological certainty Oirst, everything else follows. The mark of true awakening then of course is not what you say or do in an ashram or in your cozy living room or in a monastery, but what you do when conOlict arises. Do you see the One, or do you see only your ego interest? The funny thing is the only thing that comes out of this ego dominated conOlicted worldview is more con- Olict, within and without. And that is where the game is supremely intelligent! The more egoic you are, the more conOlict you will create in your life, and the more conOlict there is the more suffering, the more suffer- ing you go through the harder it becomes to maintain your egoic illusions of certainty and security. And Oinally it is that suffering that burns you enough one day to become free of the ego and awaken.
10

Smart people realize this quickly and takes the only sane decision: no matter what, no matter how in- tense the game gets, do not lose your clarity and do not create further conOlict, no matter how tempting it is to do otherwise, no matter how much the ego mind screams for Hollywood style intervention! Fools rush in and make a mess out of everything, believing it has not, and then goes back to reading its spiritual books and talks about enlightenment and bright lights and sitting in the right hand of God. Awakening is simple sanity, nothing extraordinary about it, but terribly rare phenomenon in this mad world of proOit and Oight. Finally, remember awakening is not a degree you earn, its an evolutionary step, the next step of evolution, and it normally it takes time to stabilize even after you have had a full glimpse of the Unity of life.

11

Question from a reader: Thank You Sha:in! I also share your ideas, but mine are more Western in terminology. It was a remarkable experience when I realized that "I" didn't exist. Even more so when I realized that I can remake myself into anything I want to be. Most people get scared when I say that and they run from it. I can understand that. People are stuck in their roles, and if they are able to control their minds, they can see through those roles easily and make new decisions about what they want to do and be. But it requires they start thinking about what that means. But they dont do that. Why is this? Answer: To see through the role that one is playing with everyone and everyone is playing with oneself is one of the hardest challenges for the ego, because the game is so addictive. Each role that we play has one goal: to immortalize its own existence; and it will do whatever it takes, even bring pain and suffering, to ensure that goal. Awakening of course implies that you are no longer trying to see through one role or the other, or take control or tone down one role or the other, but in one fell swipe see through the whole game of assuming roles and in that SEEING drop the whole charade. This is not easy because each role (each temporary structure of the ego) promises us the solution to eve- rything in life (money, fame, sex, power, love whatever is your preference) and we fall for it over and over, until one day we SEE that this game is too costly for a warrior, it comes with too much conOlict and suffer- ing, inside and outside. And that is the secret... how long do you have to suffer before you realize that the game is just not worth the candle? How long do you have to give birth to conOlict within and without be- fore you realize that no matter what the temptation, no matter what the promise, nothing is worth per- petuating the madness that is inevitably within each of us. This madness is our IDENTIFICATION with the amorphous psychological structure called the ego mind, which is forever changing into different roles, and each role claiming total authority of the pure consciousness. Until suffering is total and complete, we are usually too busy with our all important game of roles, trying to accumulate more money, power, fame, success, love etc etc etc. Unfortunate, but that is how us humans are, and that is how we will awaken one day. Suffering is our style, our preferred mode of transportation, until Oinally we look around for the Oirst time and SEE how dysfunctional life has become individually and collectively, and Oinally stop playing this crazy game once and for all. (Note to all egos out there: this does not imply becoming pure vegetable, it implies pure life, which is free from the whole charade of "I will be exactly what you want me to be, to get exactly what I want to get out of you". Being free is not being inac- tive, its simply the freedom to choose ones action through pure intelligence, instead of pure madness.) ******************************************************************************************************** I hope this has helped! If it has, dont forget to share it with your friends, family and even teenage chil- dren. You will probably save them many years of needless seeking and suffering. If you have more questions or comments, send it to me at shaOindezane@gmail.com Although I cannot re- ply to every question or comment but I do read. And if you are interested in learning from me directly, visit my website at www.redeOineyourreality.com to Oind out about my upcoming courses and workshops. Or if you are totally new to this journey, start at www.thesevendayjourney.com which will give you a wholesome start on this glorious adventure. Wishing you clarity, strength and passion!

Shan de Zane
12