Parents should be Mentors

Teaching your children religion is one of their rights, and a duty of both the mother and
the father.

• Anis 7, asked his mother who is Allah. What is the meaning of worship?

• Karim Patel, 11, asks his grandmother, why she reads the Quran everyday?

• Zubeda 14, seeks explanation from her father about why he always insists on her
covering her head with the duppatta and does not allow her to wear jeans.

Muslim parents often face similar questions from their children and are unable to give a
convincing reply. In times, when sources of information are increasing and knowledge is
growing, parents are finding it difficult to impart religious knowledge to their children.

The generation gap, the early maturity of the children due to the exposure to various
media and fast changing lifestyles has raised a key issue, “how to impart authentic
information about Islam to our children”.

No doubt, Muslim parents have a number of options. It can be a daily lesson in local
madrasas, a local masjid Imam giving private lessons in Islam, or Quran classes managed
by a Muslim organisation. But these traditional sources are unable to fill the huge gap.
For the girl child, the situation is bad as she cannot go to the madrasas alone or cannot be
taught by the male Imam.

Bashir Zaveri, 32, product manager with a multi-national company is worried that his two
sons are still not aware about the basic Islamic principles and etiquettes. “Since two
years, a maulana comes five days in a week and teaches them Quran recitation and basic
Islam. But I find that these local Islamic tutors are struggling to survive. Their socio-
economic condition is pathetic. So from where they will bring passion to teach Islam?”
he asks. When it comes to sending children to local madrasas, the situation is not rosy.
These madrasas are dependent on sole teachers. Often, ratio of teacher and student is
unmanageable. Many parents in desperation admit their children in the ‘Islamic school’,
hoping that their children get the best available Islamic education. But most of them are
beyond the reach of a common Muslim.

Then, what is the option for the Muslim parents? What are the alternatives available for
them to impart Islamic education to their children? The best option is to find the best
available mentor who will teach Islam by practising it. But where to find such mentors?
Prophet Muhammad’s (Pbuh) method was mentoring. He is the mentor for all times to
come. The only alternative available for the Muslim parents is to reserve few minutes in
24 hours to learn Islam and the life of the Prophet and apply it in their life and then
expect the children to follow. Unless parents first acquire knowledge about Islam, the
younger generation will not develop a liking for Islamic principles. There are very few
centres where adults can learn about Islam. There is a need for centres and libraries where
any adult Muslim can go and acquire authentic knowledge about Islam.

Unless Muslim parents themselves do not act as their children’s mentors, children will
not understand the essence of Islam. Children expect their parents to have an exemplary
character. There is no alternative to the parents’ character. Children always have the ideal
image of their parents in mind and most of the time, consciously imitate them.

Mothers have a role to play by teaching the boys core values, but ultimately, the boys will
look to their father for the gender role model. One way of maintaining functional
presence would be to make sure that the father takes the children to the mosque at least
once a day.

On the days the father cannot go to the mosque, he must sit down with the children and
relate stories to them about the Prophet (Pbuh), the companions and other famous
scholars in Islamic history. Teaching your children religion is one of their rights, and a
duty of both the mother and the father.
(The author can be mailed at:- m.maqbools@yahoo.co.in)