KEYS TO WINNING WAYS SERIES (3)

KEYS
TO WINNING WAYS

The abundance key

In the third article of our series to encourage reflection and personal growth, life coach Jo Middlemiss asks if you can see the abundance within?
at a desert - a place full of wonder, life, interest and variety - and seeing only sand. We can look at abundance in two ways. What do you see when you read this sentence? ABUNDANCEISNOWHERE Is abundance now here? Or is it nowhere? Either answer is correct depending on your perspective. Seeing the world as an abundant place is a key to happiness and fulfilment because of the impact that that thinking has on your actions. That sense of abundance comes from within and therefore you will begin to recognise that you are good enough, you do have the necessary skills to solve the problems that seem to bring you down. Although you may have lived with a lifetime of conditioning that tells you something different, you can shake off that conditioning and rewrite your script. In their book Slowing down to the speed of life, Richard Carlson and Joseph Bailey have some very interesting points to make. It is our thinking that makes all the difference to our mental health, and choosing a style of thinking appropriate to the situation is what frees us from stress. Sometimes we need to be in a processing and analytical mode, at other times we need to be in free flowing mode.

I will not die an unlived life I will not live in fear of falling Or of catching fire I choose to inhabit my days To allow my living to open me Making me less afraid More accessible To loosen my heart So that it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise I choose to risk my significance. To live so that which comes to me as seed Goes to the next as blossom And that which comes to me as blossom Goes on as fruit. (Dawna Markova, I Will Not Die An Unlived Life) I came across this poem as I was listening to the radio in the middle of a restless night. After being printed as part of a book (Markova, 1991), it became an internet favourite and has inspired one of the authors subsequent offerings (Markova, 2000). I love this poem because it embodies so much of my own philosophy. What does it mean to risk my significance? That is the pivotal line for, if we could only stop fretting about our so-called position in life, how much freer we would be. I was walking once with a client who was very sad and perplexed: I just feel like a nobody! I pondered that for a while. Of course I understood what she meant; she felt that she did not count and had no significance to risk. However, I always like to see if there is a possible way to look at a situation that seems impossible. Something that she thought was the ultimate in sadness, I thought could be rather marvellous. Just imagine if you really were no-body! If you were needless. What would you be if this physical cage did not restrict you? You could fly, sing or dance. You could go anywhere your imagination could take you. You could have the experiences of birds or water or butterflies. There is so much abundance around that we simply wont see it, or we have lost the ability to see it. It is like looking

IF YOU ARE STUCK - BUT WANT TO FLOW AGAIN FEARFUL - BUT NEED TO BREAK FREE STRESSED - BUT KEEN TO THINK DIFFERENTLY
understand that it will eventually come back to me. He just said, Thats cool. And I thought that was a cool answer. I used to have a tight, frugal mentality, vaguely resenting the cost of everything and tut tutting about value for money. I now realise that money is simply energy and that, if we hang on tightly, it wont be able to flow. There is enough for all of us - food, water, heat and love - but it gets stuck. An abundance mentality means allowing all these things to flow. (Just think of the response to the Tsunami disaster.) It means knowing that giving love brings us love, that being generous opens our eyes to the joy of giving and that it always has a return, even if it is only a smile or our own selfgenerated warm glow. It isnt about stuff. It is never about stuff. It is always about attitude and perception - and that is what makes I will not die an unlived life such a wonderful poem. Jo Middlemiss is a qualified Life Coach with a background in education and relationship counselling, tel. 01356 648329, www.dreamzwork.co.uk. Jo offers readers a confidential and complimentary half-hour telephone coaching session (for the cost only of your call.)

Bursting with life

As I write, there is deep snow on the ground outside. It all looks frozen and sterile and yet it is bursting with life. There are snowdrops, aconites, crocuses, winterflowering cherry and a host of other early risers. They know nothing of scarcity. Have you ever thought about the fact that, even if we feel poor, in this country we are in the top 10 per cent of the worlds wealthiest? Have you ever tried giving a present to someone anonymously? Really secretly, telling nobody? Itll give you a real buzz. Have you tried paying for the car behind you when you go over a toll bridge? People are so shocked that someone would do that. I write with love and joy on every cheque and have only been asked once why I did it, by a young man in a bookshop. I told him, Its because I like to think of money flowing and circulating, and I

References
Carlson, R. & Bailey, J. (1998) Slowing Down to the Speed of Life: How to Create a More Peaceful, Simpler Life from the Inside Out. Hodder Mobius. Markova, D. (1991) The Art of the Possible: Compassionate Approach to Understanding the Way People Think, Learn and Communicate. Conari Press. Markova, D. (2000) I Will Not Die an Unlived Life: Reclaiming Purpose and Passion. Conari Press.

Shona is a speech and language therapist in an influential promoted post. She used to love her work and was passionate about making a difference. She feels frustrated and bored now, even though others more junior to her look to her for help and advice. Things have got so bad she is considering resigning. Jo says: Shona has forgotten that the reason she loved her work so much was because she brought the free flowing mode of creative teaching to her work. She has allowed herself to get stuck in analytical thinking, and that lets in the old enemy - fear. She is fearful that she might try something intuitive, which wont work, so she may be shown up as something less than expert. This fearful thinking has led her down a very narrow cul-de-sac with no seeming way out other than leaving. What a waste, and what sadness for the clients and juniors who would benefit from her expertise! She has lost sight of the abundance within for fear of the non-existent famine without. By concentrating on re-awakening her free flowing creativity in all aspects of her life, Shona will find new passion for the same work.

ABUNDANCE: The key for Shona?

SPEECH & LANGUAGE THERAPY IN PRACTICE SUMMER 2005

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