Art of Transformation

Adapted from a seminar by His Holiness acnandana Swami at the Croatian Summer Camp, Pula (Premantura), August 2001

Readers interested in the subject matter of this book are invited to correspond with the publisher at the address: Goloka Dhma aragati publishing Hjets Muhle Bckingstr. 6 55767 Abentheuer Germany web: www.saranagati-publishing.net e-mail: Tridasha.Raya.SNS@pamho.net Please also visit acnandana Swamis homepage: www.saranagati.net
Quotes from the books, lectures, letters and conversations by His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupda 2005 The Bhaktivedanta Book Trust International

Used with permission Transcription: Nanda kiora dsa Editing: acdev ds, Kaiori ds Design: Trdaa Rya dsa 2005 aragati publishing

Contents
Dedication aragati books Preface for the Art of Transformation Art of Transformation What Does Ka Consciousness Mean to You? Desiring for Ka from the Heart Changing the Heart The Process for Transformation Pray for Transformation How Strong is Your Faith in Ka? Faith in the Beginning, the Middle and the End Which Faith does Ka Want? Invest a Little Faith in Ka How to Increase Your Faith Please Take the Holy Name The Power of Thinking Feel the Separation, Feel the Thirst Ka Tests How Much You Want Him How to Develop Feelings of Separation A Lesson to Learn from Ones Own Activities Everything Happens by the Will of the Lord About the Author i ii v 1 2 5 8 17 21 25 30 33 38 41 45 48 51 56 60 64 71 77

Dedication
With deep-felt humility I offer this book to my beloved spiritual master, His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupda. rla Prabhupda, you are the driving force behind my words, which are spiritually alive only because of your glance of mercy upon me.

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aragati Books

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Before introducing this new series of books, we would like to introduce its author, acnandana Swami. acnandana Swami is particularly appreciated for his lively, practical, and soul-searching delivery of Vedic knowledge. Being a direct disciple of His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupda, acnandana Swami has taken great care to become his gurus transcendental mailman. That is, he does not change his gurus timeless message or the timeless message of the guru-parampara. He does, however, add his own colorful anecdotes and realizations to his faithful presentation, and discusses in detail how rla Prabhupdas teachings can be applied for our maximum benefit and realization. The aragati series is mainly comprised of acnandana Swamis recorded lectures, addresses, and gatherings, but we would like to especially emphasize his fascinating seminars, into which he has poured all his heart. We, the publishers, have taken great care to preserve the live atmosphere of the seminars by maintaining the spoken nature of the material in our presentation. A wonderful Ka conscious atmosphere is created when eager devotees associate with one another, and Ka is attracted by such an atmosphere. It is His divine presence that creates the magic of the moment. To

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capture the real spirit of the spoken word in print is, of course, nearly impossible, but if a sincere devotee reads one of these books and knows how to absorb him or herself in it and be present, the atmosphere can be, to a large degree, recreated. Although the world has many new recording devices, ranging from MP3 players to films, books have retained their charm and their power to capture an attentive reader. We think nothing replaces the feeling of holding a book in ones hand and entering its pages. You can be yourself totally with a book. You can mark your favorite passages, contemplate a turn of phrase while returning to it again and again, and allow its subjects to draw you into meditation. Books are like good friends that engage all ones senses. Santana Gosvm goes so far as to say that certain recorded words have special potency. Prema begins to awaken when those narrations simply enter ones ears, what to speak of what happens when a thoughtful devotee contemplates them with attention. Without doubt, we should accept that such an effect is possible by the innate potency of the words themselves (prktya). Certain combinations of words have a natural power to evoke spiritual emotions, just as fire has its natural inalienable potencies of heat and light.*
* Bhad Bhagavatmta 2.5.138, commentary

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Speaking to the readers of aragati Books, acnandana Swami says: It is my humble hope that as much as I am able to faithfully adhere to my exalted spiritual master, rla Prabhupda, these books will carry the wonderful current of bhakti in Ka consciousness to my esteemed readers. I feel privileged if I can serve you on your onward spiritual journey. We wish you all the best, and may you find many jewels of inspiration in your reading of these books. The Publishers

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Preface for the Art of Transformation

Spiritual cultures the world over have always tried to assist humankinds inner development. At the heart of this development is the transformation of character. Even modern psychology and the secular personality development movements have become aware of the tremendous potency encapsulated by traditional spiritual processes.* In this small book we try to present the essence of the philosophy and practical techniques used in inner transformation gleaned from the Vedic and especially Vaiava viewpoint, as it has been presented by His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupda. One of my friends once reduced the subject of transforming the heart to this: In our hearts there is a God-shaped vacuum burning with desire. As long as we are unsuccessful in filling that void with God, this vacuum, like a black hole, will pull into it everything in heaven and hell simply to fill it up. In the end, however, the hole will remain painfully emptyan aching black hole . . . A transformed heart brings joy. rla Prabhupda prescribes:
*

Three months ago while glimpsing into one of such books (More time for happiness) by Germanys most well-read personality coach Lothar Seiwert I was surprised to see that he recommends every person who wishes to be balanced and happy to meditate every day up to twenty minutes by using the sacred syllable o.

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Once the heart is cleansed, we should invite Lord Ka to sit down, and we should observe the festival by distributing prasdam and chanting the Hare Ka mah-mantra.*

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Embedded in the middle of its twelve Cantos, rmadBhgavatam presents the most heart fascinating story of Vtrsuras surprising transformation from powerful monster to the Lords most exalted devotee (see rmad Bhgavatam 6.9 12). In these chapters, we witness how in one moment Vtrsura goes from devouring the demigods armies to a saintly person offering exalted, devotional prayers. O my Lord, O Supreme Personality of Godhead, will I again be able to be a servant of Your eternal servants, who find shelter only at Your lotus feet? O Lord of my life, may I again become their servant so that my mind may always think of Your transcendental attributes, my words always glorify those attributes, and my body always engage in the loving service of Your Lordship?** There is a reason why Vysadeva placed this transformation story in the middle of the Bhgavatam. Transcendental literature places what is most precious not in the front or back of a book, but in the middle, where it can be protected from those unworthy of finding it. The whole Bhgavatam, and in fact the whole Vaiava
* Caitanya Caritmta, Madhya-ll, 12.135, purport ** rmad Bhgavatam 6.11.24, purport

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spiritual culture, points toward transforming the heart. This subject is that important. rla Prabhupda writes, The whole process of spiritual culture is aimed at changing the heart of the living being in the matter of his eternal relation with the Supreme Lord. [] It is expected by all means that by discharging regulated devotional service, one must manifest the change of heart. If there is no such change, the heart must be considered steelframed. []*

I am personally very grateful to acdev ds, who kindly took the original seminar and related lectures and turned them into something presentable in print. I would also like to thank Trdaa Rya dsa for doing the layout and for taking the initiative to publish aragati Books. But I dont wish to hold you up any longer. I encourage you to apply whatever techniques and knowledge you find in the pages of this book seem appropriate to you. Bring them to life by bringing them into your daily life. May we all soon celebrate a joyous festival a festival celebrating the successful transformation of the heart. With deep respect and best wishes, acnandana Swami, October 2nd, 2005.
*

rmad-Bhgavatam 2.3.24., purport

Art of Transformation
For each day of this seminar there is a very precise planwhatever a conditioned soul can plan. The subject matter is so entirely personal that whatever you understand in this seminar will have to be applied in your personal life in order to make sense. In this seminar, I do not want to be one who sits here and presents ideas to an audience. I hope to be someone who distributes tools that will be used by each one of you in your life.

What Does Ka Consciousness Mean to You?

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Five years ago I asked myself a question about my life which had serious consequences on my own development in Ka consciousness. The question was: What can I do with my own situation to make the process of Ka consciousness work for me? It was a personal question. I received answers, but it was not always easy. I travelled to different countries, underwent different pilgrimages and had different experiences. I worked on what we can call my own way of Ka consciousness, and I know that it is by no means finished. It is only beginning. Just a little while ago I saw the name of a devotee who is known to me via the internet. I saw his name in a context that was surprising for me. This devotee decided to spend his summer in chanting the Hare Ka mahmantra, and I was surprised because I understood that he had made a decision or a beginning of a decision in his lifeto find his own way in Ka consciousness. The difference between a devotee who only formally practices Ka consciousness and a devotee who does it with deep commitment is to be found in this single decision. A devotee who wants to make a commitment understands, This is my way in Ka consciousness. May I ask you, what do you consider the most essential element in Ka consciousness? What is it all about? When you give an answer to this difficult question, I

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request you to find your own personal answer, not that which you have learned or heard from others. What does Ka consciousness mean to you? Devotee 1: In the initial stage of Ka consciousness where I believe most of us are, Ka consciousness means to divert our attention from matter to Ka. What happens afterwards, who knows? In other words, it is an adventure that we see in the future. acnandana Swami: In one of his books, rla Vivantha Cakravart hkura gave a similar commentary. Devotee 2: For me, Ka consciousness means to become deep in every aspect of my life. acnandana Swami: Hare Ka. A wonderful answer. Devotee 3: It is developing faith that the spiritual reality can fulfill all my needs and desires. Devotee 4: Ka consciousness is all about opening my heart and becoming more loving to Ka and all of His devotees. Devotee 5: For me, it is all about coming in contact with Ka through the nine processes of devotional service, especially chanting of the holy name. Devotee 6: For me, Ka consciousness is a mixture of constant endeavor in my spiritual practice and mercy. I am happy that you didnt say what Ka consciousness is for me. For me, acnandana Swami in this year

2001, Ka consciousness is all about transformation of the heart. I have found many of the answers of the learned community of devotees included in this general category. We start on a path by chanting, associating with devotees and so on. We follow all the practices and hope that after some time of this practice something has changed and moved in us, some magical almost mystical transformation has taken place. If we remain the same after many years of practice, it is sure that something has not really happened to our full satisfaction. rla Jva Gosvm describes in Bhakti-sandarbha that the main object of spiritual practice is the transformation of the heart. He says that if one chants the Hare Ka mahmantra and still does not experience an ecstatic transformation of the heart, then he has a heart of steel. This is something unusual and is not to be expected. rla Prabhupda describes exactly what the transformation in the heart should be like. He says that there should be an increase of loving attachment in devotional service to Ka, and there should be a detachment from the false sense of lording it over the material world.1 To say it short, you should become a lover and stop being a controller!

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Purport, rmad-Bhgavatam 2.3.24.

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Desiring for Ka from the Heart

When you look for transformation in the spiritual life, it is not the transformation of the hairstyle, the dress, or the language. The transformation in the spiritual life is in the heart. According to the old Patajalis description of the heart, the heart is that place where all desires appear, and also where the desires merge, stop to be there, and are no longer relevant for you. As a child, for instance, you had desires to play with baby dolls. They appeared in your heart, and you desired a doll very much, but as you grew older the desire to play with dolls changed to a desire to have a husband, or driving a car and so on. So the heart is the place where the most existential things happendesires. Each one of us here, and each conditioned soul in this world, and even each liberated soul is a product of his or her desires. You are here in this tent because you developed a desire to take part in our summer camp and attend this seminar. Yet, some of the devotees are swimming in the ocean at this moment because there is this desire in their heart. They want to experience the beautiful bounty of Kas wonderful breath-taking nature. Others are eating pizzas because they have this desire. Some of us are brahmacrs because we have a strong desire to remain in this rama. Once, on a morning walk, Prabhupda asked his disciples, Why are you in Ka consciousness? Someone quoted rla Rpa Gosvm in Bhakti-

rasmta-sindhu but Prabhupda said, No. Another attempted, I am in Ka consciousness because the material world is full of suffering. Prabhupda said, No, that is not why you are here. Many gave their answers, but finally Prabhupda gave his answer, You are in Ka consciousness because you like to be in Ka consciousness. It is a desire which came from the heart. Very simple, but very important.

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Do you know how many thoughts you have every day? Thirty two thousand thoughts. A whole army of thoughts. Most of these thoughts are flowing in our subconsciousness and we are not so aware of it, but they determine our way through our life. Many of these thoughts are desires that are constantly being produced in the heart. These desires, my dear devotees, describe your entire life. If you want to change your life, you must change your desires. Haribol! Now, to change desires is not so easy. Have you ever tried to change a desire? I have often tried. I wanted to desire only pure love of God. When we went with Lokanth Mahrja to Vndvana he instructed us, Here are kalpa-vka trees. You can desire from them, but best is to desire pure love of God. With full faith in each single word that emanated from Lokanth Mahrja I went to the kalpa-vka trees and said, Please, give me pure love of Godhead. But through my life I have found that there are so many other desires. I wanted to go to Tibet, I wanted to do this and I wanted to do that! I have seen many of my godbrothers who wanted to

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be sannyss, but desires to be ghasthas were stronger. There were other desires that came from their heart, and ultimately they followed these desires. I have seen so many brahmacris who wanted to be lifelong sakrtana heroines. I have seen so many brahmacrs who wanted to be devotees, but when we visit them now they are living as directors, and they say, It was so uncomplicated to live in the brahmacr rama, but my desires pulled me to this and now I have very little time to think about my spiritual development! Desires are ultimately deciding the dos and donts in our lives. With your intelligence you may be able to understand the spiritual knowledge, but your intelligence will not be sufficient to control or redirect your desires. The place where you have to work to change your desires is not the intellect, it is the heart. r Caitanya Mahprabhu said, ceto-darpaa-mrjana, the heart is like a mirror which is full of dust and this dust means desires other than spiritual. If you want to become a devotee you must cleanse the mirror of your heart to let the pure Ka conscious desires come forth. Prabhupda has written: As soon as the Lord is seated within the heart of the devotee, the devotee cannot be contaminated by the material modes of nature. As long as one is under the control of the material modes, he desires so many things and makes so many plans for material sense enjoyment, but as soon as the Lord is perceived in the heart,

all material desires vanish. When the mind is completely free from material desire, the devotee can think of the Lord constantly. In this way he becomes completely dependent upon the lotus feet of the Lord. 2

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This is not easy. It is not for the superficial materialists. It is for people whom Ka describes as mahtms, rare souls. It is something that demands your full concentration, your deepest attention, the most real part of your personality. It is something very deep and very wonderful.

Changing the Heart

In the medieval times in Europe there used to be a group of mystics who were known as alchemists. These alchemists travelled all over the world in search of a formula by which they could change the ordinary bell metal into gold. Many people misunderstood them thinking that they were just greedy after wealth. But, as it turned out when you study their literature, they wanted to find a formula which they could use to change their own hearttransforming their own character. They thought, If we find out how to make gold from ordinary metal, then we have a principle we can apply to our heart. As far out this may sound to you on this sunny evening in Croatia, it has a lot to do with our seminar. Let me ask
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rmad-Bhgavatam 4.31.20.

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you a question. What would be necessary to change copper into gold? Who has studied physics? You would have to enter into the atomic structure and change the atoms which are held together by a strong force. To enter into the atomic structure takes so much energy, and also sets free so much energy. This is an atom bomb. You cannot do it with physical strength. You need strength or forces that are far superior to physical forces. What you could easily do is to take copper, paint it in gold and say, I have gold, but this type of gold would not even survive one week of the Croatian winter. If you would have such gold-painted copper out in the rain and cold, the gold would very easily fall off the plate. So, my dear devotees, if you want to change your heart, something of this dimension is before you. Santana Gosvm describes that by dk an ordinary person, a dra, can be transformed into a brhmaa.3 His whole character can be changed, just as by a certain alchemistic process you can change iron into gold. Here we have the same example that the alchemist used in medieval Europe in the traditional spiritual culture of India. The whole process of spiritual culture is aimed at changing the heart of the living being in the matter of his eternal relation with the Supreme Lord as subordinate servant, which is his eternal constitutional position. So with the progress of
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Purport, rmad-Bhgavatam 3.33.6.

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devotional service, the reaction of change in the heart is exhibited by gradual detachment from the sense of material enjoyment by a false sense of lording it over the world and an increase in the attitude of rendering loving service to the Lord.4

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In the process of transformation of the heart, you become detached from material enjoyment, and attached to rendering devotional service to Ka. My dear devotees, you can easily change your externalsyour hairstyle, your dress, and your languagebut this doesnt make a devotee. A devotee is someone who has changed his heart. Never become disappointed, angry, or a faultfinder when you see that a devotee has not mastered this art. Many of our experiences are that devotees join our movement attracted by wonderful promises in Ka consciousness, they stay for some time, but their heart is not really changed. When there is an opportunity for material life, they grab it with happiness. We have many examples of persons who tried to follow the rules of celibacy. I am thinking here of Origenes,5 the Father of the Church. He could not change his desires, and finally he took a knife and mutilated himself, castrated himself. I dont think he had peace afterwards because desires are not born in physical parts of the body. They are born, as we have learned, in the heart. We have seen many, many people
4 5

rmad-Bhgavatam 2.3.24. Origen (Origenes Adamantius) (b. ~185 in Egypt, d. 253/254 at Tyre).

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from different traditions fighting against this, and this fight is also there in our movement. Devotees wish to be something, but desires are so strong in an untransformed heart that they end up in situations that they wanted to avoid when they started. The hearts desires are very, very strong. To transform the heart is not something for an easy-going weak mind and weak heart. The scriptures are full of stories about failures which leave you thinking, What is my chance? The reason why I do this is because I really wish that you think very deeply what transformation may mean to you. The example from the Bhgavatam of a sad failure with a glorious ending which I will narrate is that of Saubhari Muni. Saubhari Muni was a mystical yogi who had enormous accomplishments. He was sitting on the ground of a river meditating. Why? He wanted to have a disturbance free place for his practice and he thought that the ground of the river would be very peaceful. He stayed there without developing the fish breathing skills. What is it called? Gills. How did he do it? Very simple. He extracted the pra from the water (it is possible) and he lived! While he was meditating, two fishes with a romantic intent came together to enlarge their family! When the yog saw the two fishes copulating, old saskras in the form of desires awakened within him and he thought, This is a good idea to have the pleasures of a romance. When the mind of the yog was shaken in this way, he couldnt maintain his mystic practice, and he noted, Oh, I am out of air. He came out of the

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Yamuna, and went to the coast. He was all covered with green algae, because he spent a long time in the Yamuna. What to do? I desire ghastha life. He went to the king of Mathur whose name was Mandatta, and said, I am ready for marriage. Do you have princesses available? The king saw this green extraterrestrial, and thought, My daughters are free to choose their husband. This is our regulation here in this kingdom. But if I say yes, my daughters will just curse me if I marry them to this green algae-covered person. Saubhari Muni knew the mind of Mandatta and he used the last bit of his yogic strength to get a nice appeal. He changed his body into a muscular, good-looking body and may have also changed his hairstyle! He went into the court where the princesses were. When the fifty princesses looked out of their room and saw this beautiful dream of a husband walking right in their courtyard, they all began to acclaim enthusiastically, This man is fit to be my husband! Saubhari Muni said, Yes, I think so too, and he married the fifty princesses and tried to satisfy them in all respects, physically as well. At the end of his life he reflected, Oh, I was a yog. Now I am so entangled. I am a dancing dog in the desires of all these fifty temperamental women who are my wives. Now I have to run to fulfill all the desires of fifty minds. You know, usually you have enough with one mind but he had to run after fifty minds. So he decided to have an ia-goh. He called all his wives together and asked, Are you satisfied? They replied, No, we

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are not satisfied. Then he said, This is because I have made a terrible mistake. I am responsible. You can only be satisfied if you change your heart and become a devotee of Ka, because Ka is Hkea, the master of the mind, master of the senses. Now let us all become devotees of Hkea. His wives, who had also experienced a life of trying to run after their mind and rub the material elements together to get satisfaction, (this is a decent term for sexuality: rubbing material elements together), understood that their husband spoke the truth. They became devotees and ended their lives as devotees of Hkea. Hare Ka. This is a success story, but let us deal with the first part of the story the story of failure. It is so hard, so difficult, even for a great yog who can control his breathing. If you want to control your breathing, you have to work on your mind, it doesnt work in any other way. He failed. Have you understood how difficult it is to transform the heart? Is it at all possible? If you think it is, then please tell me how you think it is possible. Devotee 1: The wish has to be sincere and mercy is necessary. acnandana Swami: How is it possible? Lokanth Mahrja? Our Lokanth Mahrja is at least responsible for my own spiritual life. He brought me to Vraja, explained the places, and helped a lot. Lokanth Mahrja: Changed your heart? acnandana Swami: Yes, how did you do it?

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Lokanth Mahrja: How Ive done it? Ha, ha. I can only say it philosophically. vat sva-kath ka puya-ravaa-krtana hdy anta stho hy abhadri vidhunoti suht satm 6

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By hearing Bhgavatam which is the topmost pious activity, that message of Bhgavatam goes deep within the heart, inner chambers of our heart, and hdy means heart, antah means inside, hdy anta stho hy abhadri, whatever is inauspicious within the heart, vidhunoti, cleansing is done and then you have a new heart, or clean heart, pure heart. Thats alright, that is one approach on this answer. acnandana Swami: Wonderful. Thank you very much Mahrja. Mahrja has said that by the chanting of the holy names in the deep areas of the heart the abhadris, the inauspicious things, are cleansed away. Mahrja has said that it is possible, and that is how it is possible. Sta Gosvm has said this wonderful verse about heart changing. Any other answers to this question? I am sure you have already experienced some changes in your heart in Ka consciousness. Something has changed. What helped? Devotee 2: By pleasing God, Ka. Bhaktisiddhnta Sarasvat said that by serving God and His devotees
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rmad-Bhgavatam 1.2.17.

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without motives, when you change the motivations, then you get the mercy. Without mercy he thinks this is impossible. Devotee 3: By establishing deep spiritual relationships it is possible to transform the heart. acnandana Swami: How does this work? Something happens in the heart. Desires are changed. Devotee 4: By association of pure devotees desires change. acnandana Swami: By association of pure devotees desires change. I know this myself. I knew that when I became a devotee I would disinherit and lose a few million marks. I knew that. But when I saw Prabhupda, I said, I dont care. Who needs money? Only the fools. I need Ka! And my whole life changed, and I have not regretted it so far. Devotee 5: I would say this changing of the heart is a never-ending process, it goes on and on. Some have said, My heart is like a coal mine, the more I wash, the more dirt comes. If you endeavor to become exposed to the mercy of the Bhgavatam and the person Bhgavata, as Lokanth Mahrja has instructed us, then this change can take place. Devotee 6: It is necessary to open our heart in order to change our heart. I want to thank you very much from the depths of my heart for giving your nice attention and good answers, but I wish to request you to think a little bit more how the

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transformation of the heart can take place. Plan your life and think about your ideal life. You must have something in mind as to how you wish to live in the future, so think how you can do this.

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Earlier in this seminar we heard the example of the alchemists who tried to transform ordinary metal into gold. In our tradition Santana Gosvm uses exactly the same example as it gives a very clear understanding of what we have to do. As the German philosopher Hegel7 said, We have to die to live. Haribol. One old part of us, the ego, has to go apart, so that a new spiritual personality comes forth. This process of transformation is something which is not so easy. First of all we have to have a strong desire to go back to our original home, to the spiritual kingdom of God. Prabhupda writes that when the Lord sees that a devotee is completely sincere in getting admittance to the transcendental service of the Lord and has thus become eager to hear about Him, the Lord acts from within a devotee in such a way that the devotee may easily go back to Him. If Ka sees you want to hear about Him and you are eager and sincere, He acts in such a way in your heart that you can easily go back to Him. Now comes Prabhupdas very famous sentence, which I want to read to you: The Lord is more anxious to take us back into
7

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel (1770-1831), belonged to the period of German idealism.

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His kingdom than we can desire. Most of us do not desire at all to go back to Godhead. Only a very few men want to go back to Godhead. But anyone who desires to go back to Godhead, r Ka helps in all respects. 8

If you want to change copper into gold, you have to really want it; its not easy. Similarly, if you want to transform your heart, then you really have to want it.

The Process for Transformation

It is described in our scriptures that if you associate with real devotees of the Lord, you will get a feeling: Oh yes, I would also like to do devotional service for Ka. When you are here at the summer camp please critically observe if this feeling comes in your heart. The summer camp is successful if this feeling that you would also like to do devotional service of the Lord becomes more and more present in your heart. It is described in our stras that by the association with our sdhus you get a desire to perform ka-bhajana in your heart. Once a famous guitarist told me how he came into dedicating his whole life to playing a guitar. Some of you here are musicians, and you know how when you really desire to learn an instrument well, you decide to dedicate many hours of your day to this profession of playing that instrument. I can imagine that it takes a lot
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Purport to rmad-Bhgavatam 1.2.17.

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of practice and dedication to enter into this art of playing music. Usually you become infected with this desire by seeing another musician performing. Even I, who am not so musically talented, used to watch the famous guitarist Jimmy Hendrix9 performing on stage. Then I became fully convinced: I want to play like Jimmy Hendrix! So I went to my guitar teacher, who was a very conventional German, and said, Please teach me guitar. He said, Ok, we will start with the basic technique and the song is: Alle meine Entchen schwimmen auf dem See.10 It is a childrens song in the beginners lesson. I told him, No, I want to play like Jimmy Hendrix, not Alle meine Entchen... He asked, Whos Jimmy Hendrix? I replied, You do not know? The god of music! And I brought him a record and played it. This is how I want to play: Hey Joe. He listened and tried to make sense out of it, and said, This is very difficult, I dont know if I can teach you. In this example, I just wanted to show you how a young boy can easily be fascinated by anothers example and whatever he does. So, in the same way, if you want to awaken a desire to perform ka-bhajana, you have to see a good example. This is how it startssdhu-saga. This means that when you sometimes feel your desire for spiritual life is not so strong any longer, your transformation is not going very well, go into the association of real sdhus. Usually when our desire for Ka consciousness
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born Johnny Allen Hendrix in Seattle, (1942-1970). All my ducklings swim on the lake.

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is not so strong, we are afraid to come to the summer camp. There are a few nice devotees in Croatia who are trembling! I dont want to go, too much purification, Ill stay in my little town. When you are not so encouraged in your spiritual life, you usually become afraid of the medicine. You do not like to read rla Prabhupdas books, you do not like to come into the assembly of devotees, and you do not like to dance in the middle or at the corner. You want to be on the side. Be very careful. The desire to increase ka-bhajanaworship of Ka, will come in the association of proper sdhus, and sdhus sometimes have a habit to cut your false ego. It is not pleasant, it is not materially enjoyable, it is not always intellectually stimulating, it means cutting the illusions. But it is described in all our scriptures to hear in the association of devotees about Kathis hearing is the rasyana. Rasyana means a medicine which wakes up a spiritually dead person so that he can live again. To come in the association of devotees means to take the rasyana, the medicine of hearing about Ka, chanting Kas names together. Let us try this: Hare Ka, Hare Ka, Ka Ka, Hare Hare / Hare Rma, Hare Rma, Rma Rma, Hare Hare. Yes, this is good against the mental platform. The association of devotees works like rasyana, strong medicine that can give you some taste in hearing about Ka and doing ka-bhajana. Ultimately we are all very weak. We are spiritually very diseased. We have so little taste, and we live in our own little mental world hopelessly in need of some sdhu

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to wake us up from this material dream. But, our false ego guards our sick state, our false ego is before our weakness and so when the sdhus come and preach we protest and become enemies of the sdhus. This is our state. Not very good.

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Why, in the transformation of the heart, do we stress so much on the association of devotees? There is a reason. You can worship Ka and be what is called kalpanin an imagination or concoction. I am an advanced devotee, I am very elevated. But when you come to the association of devotees such concoctions cannot stay very long. Very quickly your amount of spiritual advancement is put to a test. Your tolerance is put to a test; your determination to serve is put to a test. Sometimes you meet devotees not always from their spiritual side but from their conditioned side, and they even give you a little trouble. At that time your determination to continue your service is put to a test. Many times, we have to say that in the association of devotees there are feelings of hurt. You are put to a test as to whether you will continue with your spiritual lifeyes or no? These tests are sometimes necessary and they are arranged by Ka.

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Pray for Transformation

As we are thinking deeply about transformation, it becomes very clear that we require help. Alone it is too difficult to split the atoms or to transform copper into gold. As a preacher we meet many spiritually interested people who know that they wish to be transformed. We meet reiki11 practitioners, esoteric12 groups, people who practice channeling,13 and people who are in different health practices. All has its relative value. But I want to bring to your attention, my dear devotees, that if you wish for a deep transformation in your heart, a deep transformation of your character, you must include God. Without Gods help it is not possible. I want to tell you a little humorous story from spiritual India about the Patel family who conducted their work without the sun! The Patel family noticed that every evening the darkness entered their houses and stole away the light of the day like an unwanted thief. They decided, We will not tolerate this any longer, we dont want the darkness, we want the light! So in the evening they went with sticks to guard their home, so that when darkness would come they could bang the darkness on the head and chase it away.
11 A healing technique based on the principle that the therapist can channel energy into the patient by means of touch, to activate the natural healing processes of the patients body. 12 Intended for or understood by only an initiated few. 13 The act or practice of serving as a medium through which a spirit guide purportedly communicates with living persons.

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It was getting dark and one of the Patels needed to drink a glass of water so he entered the house. When he was in the house he screamed like an idiot, Oh, come! The darkness has already entered without our knowledge like a thief! Come with your sticks! They all came in and saw that it was really darker in the house, and they begun to beat in the air. It was getting darker and darker. Darkness was getting stronger and they were beating stronger. At one time a member of the Patel family screamed out, Oh, darkness is hitting back! More and more Patels were screaming. Finally in the morning darkness went away. All the Patels were bleeding from minor injuries and with tears in their eyes they embraced themselves, We are a very strong family, we have chased away the darkness. How surprised they were in the evening when darkness returned! If you wish to transform your heart and throw the darkness of illusion out of your heart, you must calculate with the Ka sun. If you forget the Ka sun as the most important factor in your spiritual life, then you will not be able to transform your heart. You can try so many things, reiki and esoteric things, and also mechanical processes for Ka consciousness, but if you never pray to Ka, if you never call out to Ka for help, then the transformation of the heart will not take place. But if Ka enters your heart, you can change. Who has experienced a moment in his life when he felt closer to Ka? I think most of the devotees. Have you noticed

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that when you have this feeling of being closer to Ka, you are able to do something that you were not doing previously? At the summer camp I hope you will get back this feeling of becoming closer to Ka. With Kas help it is so easy to change your life, but if you dont feel Kas presence in your heart, there is simply no strength. There is a very nice prayer in this connection, which is my favorite prayer. When I am invited to interreligious meetings, I always tell my audience about this prayer. I also want to read this prayer to you today. It is the Gopntha14 prayer by Bhaktivinode hkura. O Gopntha, Lord of the gops, please hear my request. I am a wicked materialist, always addicted to worldly desires, and no good qualities do I possess. O Gopntha, You are able to do anything, and therefore You have the power to deliver all sinners.

Then Bhaktivinode hkura describes how he feels. He has tried so many times to elevate his life and now he has come to the conclusion that Gopntha has ignored him. You have ignored me! You are thinking I have once left You, I did not care about You, and now You are at a distance. Why are You so much at the distance?

14

Kalya-kalpataru, Songs of rla Bhaktivinoda hkura.

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O Gopntha, is this Your judgment that seeing me averse to You,

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You abandon Your servant and dont bestow even a particle of mercy upon me? He says, O Gopntha, I am so foolish, I dont know what is good for me, but You are the wisest person, you please do something to deliver me. Playing the role on behalf of all of us, Bhaktivinode hkura says why this situation is troublesome. He says, I am here in this material ocean, and the material energy is not under my control. At any moment anything could happen. You can feel hurt, hurt your leg or your mind, you can have an accident. You are fully under the material energy. It is possible also that you dont reach your goals. So he says, I am not in control of what is happening, and the worst of all, my mind is crazy because it does not care for any authority. Have you experienced that also? You know what is right to do, but the mind says, No, I will do something else. Have you noticed this? We as Hare Ka devotees have so much potent spiritual knowledge, but our mind does not accept it. I want something else. The mind is not interested in spiritual subjects all the time, this is the problem. How shall I make any advancement when my mind has come under the control of powerful senses? It does not abandon its attachment to materialism. Now comes the solution, dear devotees, the Ka sun comes now.

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O Gopntha, after sitting down in the core of my heart and subduing my mind, please take me to You. In this way the horrible dangers of this world will disappear. You are Hkea, the Lord of the senses. Seeing me so helpless, please control these senses of mine and deliver me from this dark and perilous worldly existence.

Bhaktivinode hkura says, It is impossible for me to take up the strength to change my life. I cant do it alone. He is very honest. I need help. Ka or Gopntha, You kindly appear in the core of my heart and then the transformation is possible. You are the Lord of material energy.

How Strong is Your Faith in Ka?

Do we really have faith in Ka? We have now seen the example that for the transformation of the heart we need a lot of strength which has to come from the allpowerful Lord Ka. Darkness doesnt go away with man-made endeavor. You need the sun for darkness to go away. Your anarthas dont go away on your own, you need Ka. But how strong is your faith in Ka? Let me ask an easier question. How often do we turn to Ka when we need help? I know when something goes wrong with my health I take medicines. When

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brahmacrs were sick in the Maha and wanted to take a medicine, Bhaktisiddhnta Sarasvat hkura said, No need. If you chant the holy name trying to avoid offenses, nmbhsa, all auspiciousness will prevail, and one symptom is that you will become free from diseases and from the bad influences of the stars. So he told his disciples, Ka-nma is the auadhi, the medicinal herb. I always travel with a bag of medicines, and when I read this I thought that I should throw away my bag and take the holy name.

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The great Vaiavas give us a lot of examples of faith in Ka. The art of transformation means to start here at our faith in Ka. In the beginning of devotional service there is dau raddh; in the middle of devotional service there must be raddh; at the end of devotional service there is also raddh. raddh means where you give your heart. Can I hear some of your explanations of raddh please? How do you deal with raddh, faith in Ka, in your life? When is your faith greater, and when is it not so great? What is your experience? Devotee 1: When I am in good association. Devotee 2: When I do attentive reading of rla Prabhupda books. Devotee 3: When I am happy in Ka consciousness. acnandana Swami: Yes this is very true. I think very much related to your answer is when you feel Ka has worked in some way in your life and you feel happy, Oh, He is there, He cares for me.

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Devotee 4: When I feel taste for the holy name. acnandana Swami: Please go to the moments in your life when your faith was very strong. How was it? What happened? Devotee 5: When our wishes came true. Devotee 6: When I had some big challenges. I have talked with many devotees in my research. Its when you feel Ka is there. I remember when I had an operation of which I told you many times about. It was a life or death situation. In the midst of the operation I fell off the table. My belly was open, and my intestines were coming out. I was fainting at that moment and I remember how I prayed, Ka, this is the time You finally dissolve the weed of acnandana Swami. You finally take it out and then please bring me to You. But if You wish me to live a little longer, please You must take care of me now because I am going... I was fainting with that thought. Ka, I am giving my life into Your hands now, this is too much. I am lying on the ground of the hospital, my belly is open, my intestines are all over the floor, and I am crying, and everybody is afraid of me. My life is in Your hands. It always was, but now I know it is. I remember, after this operation (it was a second operation in one week, really a heavy time) I woke up in a sunny room and devotees were around me saying, You were out for so long. I looked around. The birds were chirping and I couldnt believe that I was still alive. Then I remember I cried for many hours

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because I knew Ka saved me, and my faith was very strong. I want to say that faith is usually very strong after you have seen or understood something about Ka that was not clear to you before. Devotees are very much encouraged to go through these experiences in their lives when they can experience Kas presence. A cosy, material, comfortable life does not go together with someone who wants to have experiences of Ka. You sometimes have to go to the risk zone, so that Ka can reveal Himself. By our nature we always go to the places of most comfort. But if we want to arrange our life as comfortable as possible, how is it possible for Ka to reveal Himself and help you? It is usually seen that Ka reveals Himself when you are out of your comfort zone, when you are in need, when you are at a little risk. But our material tendency is to go too much into these illusory comfort zones. Then you check everything so that Ka cannot reveal Himself. Try to do some seva, try to step out from your normal life, and Ka will surely help. Do you know the old gold searchers? In Alaska they have heard of the gold rush and now they follow that idea: I also want to find some gold. They are ready to go through all difficulties, snow blizzards, ice peaks, and thieves who want to steal your gold. If you are a gold searcher you can always follow that private passion. I must find the gold. Jva Goswami says, The faith of a devotee who wants to find Ka must be like the faith of the gold searcher who is very eager to find gold

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and who is ready to continue his search even if he is not immediately successful. This faith is described by rla Prabhupda as the faith in something sublime. When you are spiritualists, you should always have something sublime, a spiritually exciting plan, and a spiritually exciting mission. Dont follow the great illusion of institutionalized religion: Oh we are all in a group, everything is taken care of... and so on. No, you must search on your own. Now I will attack the group consciousness a little. Although it will hurt some of you, it is meant for enlightening. Many times, devotees who join the ISKCON society think, Oh, I am now in a successful group of spiritualists, and after some time they become a little spiritually lazy because they think that the group will take care of them. But spiritual life and spiritual advancement is always something very individual. You have to find your own way in spiritual life. Prabhupda always gave the example of birds that fly together. Have you seen those birds that fly in a V-formation? It is certainly true, there is a strong leader and the other birds follow. It is easier if you fly in the flock because you dont get so much wind. You get a little less wind because the others share the wind. But if you stop flying, you will fall. You have to fly on your own even if you fly in a group of birds. The false promise of institutional religions is: You just join us, and everything is clear for you. You will automatically make advancement. Be careful with this illusion. It is not what rla Prabhupda said, not

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what the cryas say, and certainly not what Ka says. He wants that we all individually surrender unto Him. Our individual surrender will always look different from our neighbors, because we are differentits our life. For this we need a little bit raddhfaith, that Ka is there and will accept us if we surrender our life unto Him and invite Him into our life. I invite the Ka sun in my life, and He will solve whatever I need.

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My dear devotees, now in my presentation I will continue a little further on the subject of faith. We have heard in our opening class that if we wish to become a real devotee of Lord Ka, if we wish to come to the safe platform from where we do not return to the material world, we need to transform our heart. We have talked a little about transformation and yesterday we started to explain how important it is to stabilize our raddh, or our faith in Ka that is necessary for the art of transformation.

Faith in the Beginning, the Middle and the End

This strength which we require for our ultimate transformation is not in our capacity.Ka has to give us His mercy and Ka has to take the seat in our heart. Only a devotee who has faith in Ka will be able and strong enough to go on this intense journey of transformation. Faith is the beginning of our spiritual life, the middle, and it has to be present at the end also.

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In the Bhagavad-gt Ka talks about the absolute necessity of faith. araddadhn puru dharmasysya parantapa aprpya m nivartante mtyu-sasra-vartmani Those who are not faithful in this devotional service cannot attain Me, O conqueror of enemies. Therefore they return to the path of birth and death in this material world.15

Here Ka speaks of devotees who are already on the path of devotional service, and He says that if they do not keep their faith alive, they will leave the path of devotional service and fall back into the material world. Later, He again speaks about the absolute need of faith in our devotional life. araddhay huta datta tapas tapta kta ca yat asad ity ucyate prtha na ca tat pretya no iha Anything done as sacrifice, (chanting of japa is sacrifice for Krishna), charity or penance without faith in the Supreme, O son of Pth, is impermanent. It is called asat and is useless both in this life and the next.16
15 16

Bhagavad-gt 9.3. Bhagavad-gt 17.28.

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What Ka explains here is that you can perform sacrifices, give donations, do penance, but if you do not have faith while you do this it is just a mechanical activity which will not give you the whole benefit of spiritual life. Faith is so important.

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There are actually two types of faith. One is called strya-raddh, that is faith in the scriptures and their statements, and the other is lokika-raddh, that is faith in what ordinary people say. The faith of materialists is described as lokika-raddh. This is faith that, If I work hard, earn some money, buy a house, have a relationship, then my life is somehow all-right. Very often this faith is not substantiated by practical experience. strya-raddh is faith in the statements of Ka. Its a totally different dimension of faith, to not believe in the newspapers, television and radio-stations, but to believe in the Ka-station. In the words of Soren Kierkegaard,17 to have such faith is something very rare. He said that for one to shift ones faith from that which ordinary people have based on sense experience and their desires, to what for example, Ka says, one needs to make a jump of faith, a leap of faith. This is what an ordinary person says, I have faith in my nation, I have faith in what other people say, and I have faith in the weather forecast. If I had a Mercedes Benz and 5,000 German marks in my account, life would be good. Then he hears about Ka. At this moment he cannot
17

Danish philosopher (1813-1855).

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see Ka. He hears, Chant Hare Ka and you will be fulfilled! He looks around. There are many who chant Hare Ka, and they look a little frustrated. He hears, Chant more! He looks, he cannot see Ka, and he cannot always see strong devotees of Ka around him. The scriptures tell him, Believe us! Follow us! What he would have to do is to somehow make a leap in faith because it is not immediately in his experience that by chanting Hare Ka, Ka will be on his tongue. This is Kierkegaards philosophy. This is the type of faith that we are speaking about. It is not very easy and I think you can understand why the association of good sdhus is absolutely essential. We cannot see Ka, but we can see devotees. I think now you can understand why our faith stumbles when we are disappointed by devotees.

Which Faith does Ka Want?

In the stras we hear a little more on different types of faith. It is said that someone who has faith in karma, that by working hard he can better his life, has faith in the mode of raja-guapassion. Someone who has faith that by living an irreligious life, drinking beer and having sense enjoyment, what faith do you think he has? Faith in the mode of tamasignorance. Someone who has faith in spiritual life has faith in the mode of goodness. But this is not the faith Ka speaks about, not just faith in spiritual life but in spiritual principles. The faith that Ka wants is that faith which by doing

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devotional service for Ka, doing something practical for Ka, ones life is improved. This is nirgubeyond the modes of material nature. Do you understand now why this faith which we are looking for is something so exclusive, so rare to find in this world? Most people in this world have faith in the mode of ignorance and live an irreligious life or they have faith in the mode of passion and live a materially very active life, or they have faith in the mode of sattva-gua with some spiritual life. Faith in Ka consciousness means you are not just living with spiritual principles, but you have to understand, I am a servant, and I have to do service for Ka in order to walk my life. This is nirgu-raddh transcendental faith. Ka wants His devotees to have this type of faith that only by surrendering to Him their life is well taken care of. rla Prabhupda confirms this statement: If a sincere devotee renders service to the Lord or to the arc-vigraha, the form of the Lord, all his activities prove successful because the Lord is present within his heart and understands his sincerity. Thus if a devotee, with all confidence, goes on discharging the prescribed duties of devotional service, he will ultimately attain success.18 I want to tell you about a heart-moving discussion between Draupad, the dear wife of the Pavas, and Ka that took place after the rascals on Duryodhanas
18

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rmad-Bhgavatam 4.30.29.

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side tried to strip Draupad naked at the public assembly. Try for a moment to imagine her anxiety. How she must have felt? At the very end, when these men had almost violated her honor, Ka mystically appeared manifesting an unending length of sari to protect her. After this Draupad came to Ka and said, I have one question to ask You. Why did you take so long? They were almost successful. I was almost only dressed by the wind in this assembly of lusty princes! Listen very carefully to Kas reply. Ka said, When these rascals started to remove your cloth you said, Grandfather Bhma, you are the father, you are the sire, the lord and master of these two factions of brothers. You are leader of the clan. You ask them to stop this nonsense. See what unfairness is taking place. So I thought, Well Draupad has called Bhma, why should I come? I dont want to push Myself into this situation. Was I correct? Didnt you call for Bhisma, Draupad? And what did grandfather Bhma do, Draupad? He turned his face to the other side. Then, when Bhma couldnt help you, you said, Drocrya, you are a noble man. How can you tolerate seeing this injustice? O, Drocrya, help me! I thought, I am not called. She calls Drocrya. I dont want to push myself upon the situation. Only when you turned to Me, ananya-bhakti, then I came to you and saved you. My dear devotees, this is our Lord. He wishes you, he wants all of you, He also wishes all from you. He wants faith. This is what we are talking about. This is what I

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wanted to say because I admit that I give very intense lectures these days. If you dont have so much faith, no problem. We are talking now about the ideal. It is the process to grow into this ideal. We cannot rush this. Nirgu-raddh or spiritual faith means that you have full faith in Kas service and not just in the spiritual life where you make God your servant. Here in the transcendental raddh you have to become servants of Ka.

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When we want to develop firm faith in Ka, Jva Goswami says that we have to generally confront the doubt that what the stra and the sdhus say is impossible. You know, we have this doubt very much at the beginning of our Ka consciousness. But also, when you are in Ka consciousness this doubt can come again and I recall a very humorous example. There was a devotee, a servant of Prabhupda, called Puruottama dsa. Prabhupda had said that man never went to the moon. As a matter of fact, I believe that seventy percent of the NASA people also believe that we didnt go to the moon. Puruottama wouldnt believe this. When rla Prabhupda asked to watch the moon landing, the devotees rented a television and placed it in Prabhupdas living room. Puruottama announced, Well, Prabhupda, its about time, so Ill turn on the television, and soon well be getting some pictures from the astronauts out in space. A reporter was speaking from Cape Canaveral, Florida. We are just about to get the first picture of

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this historic occasion. The picture appeared fuzzy, then clear. The spacecraft had landed on the moon. As the astronauts emerged from the ship, they slowly eased themselves down onto the moons surface. Puruottama was in ecstasy. So, Puruottama, Prabhupda asked, they have come to the moon? Yes, Prabhupda, Puruottama said excitedly, Theyve landed on the moon! Prabhupda smiled. They have not landed on the moon, Prabhupda said emphatically. This is not the moon. What consequences did this lack of faith have in Purusottamas spiritual life? In rla Prabhupda-llmta, Satsvarpa dsa Goswm writes: Prabhupdas statement about the moon landing became a major impasse in Puruottamas spiritual life. Rather than reveal his doubts to rla Prabhupda and have them easily dispelled, he preferred to conceal them, and this ultimately proved to be his undoing. Whereas Arjuna, as a perfect disciple, appealed to Ka to dispel his doubts, Puruottama allowed this loss of faith to fester within his heart. Externally he gave little indication of the difficulties, continuing to perform his services in his usual competent manner. But the seed of misgiving was there. Although he remained with rla Prabhupda throughout his London visit, shortly after returning with Prabhupda to America, his diseased condition became fully

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manifest. After notifying rla Prabhupda that he had decided to leave, Puruottama returned to his parents home to resume his academic education.

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Therefore, we must develop firm faith in what the stra and sdhus say. Bhaktivinode hkura promises that by reading with the proper understanding, a transformation of heart will quickly take place to dispel such misconceptions. Therefore we should read Prabhupdas books with firm faith in his messages.

Invest a Little Faith in Ka

Faith, not in what the senses tell you, not in what your material experiences tell you, but faith in the scriptures and in Ka is not so easy. It is possible if we are seeing devotees who live their lives spiritually. Devotees are the proof of Gods existence in this world. Faith also develops when you become purified a little and leave this prison of material experience and enter the free world of Ka consciousness experience. In the Christian tradition there is a saying: Faith is very powerful. Faith can move mountains. It is actually a fact. When a devotee has firm faith in Ka and acts on the spiritual platform, then Ka will come into the life of that devotee and prove his faith to be true. But when a devotee does not have so much faith in Ka and has more faith in the material life and material senses, Ka does not always come to prove the strya-raddh to be true. In other

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words, we need to invest a little faith in Ka, and then Ka will reveal himself accordingly. Whatever faith we have invested in matter we should invest in Ka so that we can develop the ability to turn to Ka always, and to live in remembrance of Him. There is a very nice story I wish to tell you. I like to illustrate my points with stories. Padmapda was a devotee whose service was to bring fresh cloth and prasadam to his spiritual master at noon. His spiritual master would give a lecture somewhere across the river and Padmapda would cook on the other side of the river. When his spiritual master would finish instructing his disciples around noon, he would go into the forest, answer the call of nature, take a bath in the river and then eat. This was his daily routine. Padmapda was always rendering service to his guru. Other disciples were talking about Padmapda. He is never at the lectures, he is only doing service, and he is very primitive in his understanding. He does not have the benefit of listening to the philosophy. They were talking ill about Padmapda. One day during the monsoon the river began to overflow and there was no chance for Padmapda to cross the river. Padmapda thought, My guru maharaja is now taking bath. He must have dry cloth, and will be hungry after speaking the whole morning. Somehow if I just serve him, Ka will take care of this situation. I will cross the water. He went into the water, and as it was becoming deeper, all of a sudden he saw a lotus

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flower popping up from the water. He put his foot on the lotus flower and the flower held and sustained him. Then he took his next step and another lotus flower came up, the next step and another lotus flower and so forth. He crossed the entire river. This is a very nice illustration for a point which I wish you to consider in your life. Do something in your devotional service for Ka. Take a little risk. Stay away from your lokika-raddh, the worldly raddh which is based on sensual experience and what other people say. Trust in the scriptures. You will see that wonders can happen. I want to tell you about one of these wonders. Devotees told me, Go out and distribute books! I thought, No, please not this service, any other but not this, please. I joined very young and I am a little sensitive. I cant meet with these tigers and lions on the street. No, no, have a little faith. By surrendering to Ka He will give you whatever you need and maintain what you have, said the devotees. I remember I did so. I distributed books and Ka came to help. Do you have an experience that when you do something based on scriptures, based on what spiritually-minded persons tell you, then something wonderful happens? You can do something which you thought was impossible? I think we all have this experience. For example, when you started to offer your food to Ka even though you didnt believe that it is spiritual, people would say, Wow! What did you put in the prasadam? It is so tasty! after you had

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distributed to them. My suggestion to you is to find something in the stras, some statement from rla Prabhupda, follow it and see what happens. You will have an experience, for sure, that will enlargen and deepen your faith.

How to Increase Your Faith

One way to increase your faith is by studying the example of great devotees of Ka. Bhaktivinode hkura advises in his Bhaktyloka to follow the example of previous and present saints. By previous saints he means Bali Mahrja, Lord iva and so on, and by present saints he means the six Goswamis and so forth. If you read about Prabhupda, your faith that Ka is there and takes care of His devotees will increase because Prabhupdas life wouldnt be possible without Ka taking care of him. There would not be any Hare Ka movement if Ka wouldnt make it possible. Prabhupda surrendered to the instruction of his spiritual master and said, Beyond my own expectations this movement was spread. So, if you are weak in your faith, which will happen in your life, study the examples of great devotees. Another way to increase your faith is to study how Ka is merciful to His devotees. Study examples of how Ka proves that He is bhakta-vatsala, the friend of His devotees. I think you have all heard of Bilvamagala hkura. Bilvamagala hkura was born in a very rich

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family. He had one problemhis uncontrolled senses. It is described that he was so filled with lust that he left his good, chaste wife to have the association of a noble prostitute called Cintmai who had a mansion in the forest. It so happened that the father of Bilvamagala died and being the oldest son, Bilvamagala had to take care of the cremation. But as he looked at the fire consuming the body of his father, he saw another firethe fire of lust and desires. He left the cremation ground to satisfy his senses with Cintmai. It is described that only with great difficulties he managed to see Cintmai. While knocking on her door his cloth was ripped by thorns, and he was all wet, bleeding from the attack of some animals. The door opened and Cintmai stood there with all her womanly beauty. She looked at his wild, crazy, bleeding face and said, What do you want? I want your association on the bodily platform. He said. She said, O Bilvamagala, if you followed the path of self-realization with the same determination which you used to squeeze sense gratification out of this life, you would be self-realized by now. In this sentence he heard the words of his spiritual master Soma-giri, who had instructed him in his previous life. When Cintmai spoke, a door opened in Bilvamagalas perception, a door to his previous life when Somagiri had told his hopelessly entangled disciple, If you used your brain with the same determination with which you struggle for some temporary physical pleasures, you would go to Ka. When this door opened, a door to his

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previous life where he saw Soma-giri speaking through Cintmai, he immediately became determined. He went to Vndvana. On the way to Vndvana he saw a beautiful woman and wanted to engage in sexual intercourse with her, but in the last moment when he was really ready to jump like an animal over her, he understood, Oh no, I am in the dress of a monk, these are ghasthas and they have faith in me. The woman had offered her body because she thought that she should serve the saint in every way. No, lady give me some needles, Bilvamagala said, and with the needles he pierced his eyes. This is not what we should do in transformation. The mind has to be transformed, not the eyes or the hairstyle. Anyway, Bilvamagala was now blind, poor, down, and disappointed but determined to go to Vndvana. Sometimes the Lord brings us to this stage where we really know that now we need Him. After some time he heard a little boys voice. Bb, where are you going.

Oh, lla, leave me. Dont make a joke out of an old blind fool. No, no where are you going? When they arrived in Vndvana, the boy said, Now I will leave you. No, no, dont leave me. Stay with me. I must go. My mother waits for me. But I will come in the evening. The whole evening Bilvamagala was not thinking of

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Vndvana. He was thinking of the boy. When is the boy coming? He must come. In the evening the boy came and said, Bb, Ive brought you some milk.

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The boy came very often to Bilvamagala. By that time Bilvamagala wrote beautiful verses about Ka, and sometimes he would read those verses to the boy who laughed when He heard such nice poetry. One day a feeling came to his heart. This boy whom I love so much that I dont even think of Vndvana or anything else, who is He? The next time the boy came, Bilvamagala jumped to his feet and held Him, Tell me who you are! Oh, no Bb, dont ask this question. I am an ordinary boy. Let Me go, Let Me go. No, I wont let you go. Are You the boy I am writing about in my books? Are you Ka? Tell me. Dont cheat me! They spoke the whole afternoon, and then finally Ka said, I will give you the vision so you can see Me. He touched the eyes of Bilvamagala, and for a moment Bilvamagala saw the beauty of Lord Ka. But he lamented. Oh, I am such a fool, I have dared to compare You with the moon. But You are so much more beautiful than the moon. What a bad comparison. It was moonrise and the moon also heard this and said, Oh no, I have been compared to Kas face, but I am so ugly. Out of shame the moon fell to the ground in Vndvana and broke into ten pieces. These ten little

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moons took shelter at the lotus toenails of Lord Ka. That is why Ka has ten moons on His feet. What you have heard is not to be believed with lokikaraddh, the ordinary faith. You need spiritual faith that is based on a taste for Ka to really relish this. But what you can feel when you hear such a story is that Ka is bhakta-vatsala, that is, the dear friend of His devotee who wishes to do something in the life of the devotee to bring the devotee to Him. If you hear more of such stories, your faith in Ka will increase.

Please Take the Holy Name

I want to end by reading to you something from Dller-gt19:
I am singing happy news of holy things. Niti has opened a market place of the holy name in Surabh Kuja. He is selling the pure holy name in that market place for one price, the price of your faith. O brother, if you want the holy name then come with me. Come to Niti. Lord Ntynanda is very merciful. Taking only ones faith He gives the highest ecstasy. According to the stra, there are two Kas. Not one but two! One is Ka in his svarpa, His original form, and the second is Ka in His nma-rpa, the
19

Boro Sukher Khabor Gi The Song of the Broker from Vaiava-Siddhnta-Ml by Bhaktivinoda hkura.

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form of His holyname. If you are ready to pay the price, your full faith, then by the mercy of Ntynanda you will get the sweet realisation that Ka, the Supreme Personality of Godhead in His svarpa is identical with Ka in His nma-rpa. If you are ready to pay that price, you will see that when you chant, Hare Ka you will see Ka. This is how strong faith is. Lord Ntynanda is opening the market place and He gives Ka in the form of His holy name. He wants only one price and that is your faith.

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I personally think that this is the greatest journey in our spiritual life in our attempt to become Ka conscious to realize that Ka in the form of His holy name is non-different from Ka in the form of His svarpa, His original form. If you can lift the veil from this mystery, then just with Kas name you will have everything. There is nothing more to have, because you have Ka. When Prabhupda went to the West, he sat in Tompkins Square Park and chanted, Hare Ka, Hare Ka, Ka Ka, Hare Hare / Hare Rma, Hare Rma, Rma Rma, Hare Hare and when he left this world he was surrounded by loving devotees who also chanted the holy name. Once in San Francisco a man asked Prabhupda, But what to do with my mind? Prabhupda said, I only have the holy name, please take the holy name. To learn to chant the holy name with full faith and the simple joy of a child while avoiding offences is the real challenge of our life. The holy name will give us everything we need association with good devotees

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and instructions in our spiritual life that we require. Finally, the holy name will give us pure love of Ka. Please have faith in this. Try to have faith in this. Please, try to try to have faith in this. Your spiritual life will begin to take a very nice dimension, a deep dimension.

Bhaktivinode hkura says that full attention to the holy name is the most important factor that will cure you from all offences so that you can chant the holy name on a level where the name will reveal Himself, where Ka will reveal Himself. To have full attention, you need to have a situation in your life where you are undisturbed. Disturbances can come from outside factors, for example, people talking, doors being slammed. But disturbances can also come from inside factors, for instance, unresolved relationships. Sometimes we cannot give full attention to the holy name because we simply dont care. If you feel that you have a distant relationship towards your japa, then you must go in the association of sdhus, of proper devotees who treasure the holy name very much. Sometimes we are not interested in the holy name because we are simply too lazy. Lazy Pula20 afternoon. I only have eight rounds on my counter-beads If you feel there is some laziness in your spiritual life then you have to drink deep from the well of spiritual enthusiasm which you can gain only in the association of proper devotees. When Lord Caitanya Mahprabhu explained Ka
20

Port in Croatia.

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consciousness, He gave an analogy. He compared us to a poor man who visits foreign countries and upon his return finds that his parents have died and left him a treasure. Since they had no time to tell him where the treasure is, he thinks, I have a treasure, but where is it? He meets an astrologer who says, Yes, there is a treasure. It is directly under your house. It is so close, but you will only be able to lift the treasure if you approach from the eastern direction. This astrologer is identical to the Vedic scriptures which tell us, Yes, my dear devotees you have a treasure of love of Godhead and you are so close. The treasure of love of Ka is so close, but in order to find it you have to approach it through bhaktiyoga. Bhakti-yoga means the yoga of devotion. Yoga means to connect, plus, addition. Once, Prabhupda very simply said about the yoga of devotion, For so long I was God-minus; now, through yoga, I become God-plus.

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The Power of Thinking

In this age of Kali the most recommended process is bhakti-yoga, the yoga of love and devotion. What happens when you love somebody? I remember once I fell in love when I was twelve years old. She was from a good, noble home. I was always dressed in white shirt and a proper hairstyle for fourteen days. Then I said, Nonsense, and started to climb the trees again. When I met Prabhupda, it happened in

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another way. I fell in love with Prabhupdas personality and I thought, I have to change now and I will change for him. It is a wonderful feeling to really get love in the heart. It changes everything in many ways. What I want to say is very obvious. When you fall in love, you think automatically about the person. Prabhupda tells us that the whole point of Ka consciousness is to think of Ka always. He writes that if a person doesnt practice remembering Ka while he is struggling for existence, then it will not be possible for him to remember Ka at the time of death. Lord Caitanya also advises, kirtaniya sada harih: one should practice chanting the names of the Lord always. The names of the Lord and the Lord are non-different. Now Prabhupda asks a question: How is it possible that we always think of Ka and always chant His name? The cryas give the following example. If a married woman is attached to another man or if a man has an attachment for a woman other than his wife, then the attachment is to be considered very strong. One with such attachment is always thinking of the loved one. The wife who is thinking of her lover is always thinking of meeting him even when she is carrying out her household duties. Thinking of Ka in the same way will change you. We should always remember the supreme lover, r Ka. A strong sense of love is required here and this is best possible if you have love in the heart. This point of always thinking is the easiest way to do the impossible. This is illustrated in Vedic scriptures very

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frequently. I want to give you an example. An insect was captured by a wasp, put into a hole and the hole was closed. The insect thought, Oh, when will the wasp come, when will the wasp come, when will the wasp come. Then he changed into a wasp and in the next life he was a wasp. This is how powerful thinking is. Never ever underestimate the power of thinking. If you want to change you must change your thinking, not your hairstyle. The easiest form of changing in thinking is when you fall in love. Many of our devotees with whom I speak have fallen in hate. Oh, this person has done something bad. They always think of that person. Many of us think of negative things during the day. We think of the same negative things every day. Now we must learn to think about positive things, about Ka, and this is not possible by hate. We must get into the love aspect of Ka consciousness. Lord Ka says: abhysa-yoga-yuktena cetas nnya-gmin parama purua divya yti prthnucintayan He who meditates on Me as the Supreme Personality of Godhead, his mind constantly engaged in remembering Me, undeviated from the path, he, O Partha, is sure to reach Me.21 The Sanskrit word here is abhysa. Abhysa-yoga means something which comes by practice. Abhysa
21

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Bhagavad-gt 8.8.

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means practice. Thinking of Ka comes naturally and spontaneously if we love Him, but because we have a love problem, and are God-minus at the present moment, we have to start to somehow practice remembering Ka.

Feel the Separation, Feel the Thirst

Now I would like to address a very nice and wonderful way of practicing to think about Ka. I must tell you that this has helped me in my own spiritual life to become so much deeper and happier in my Ka consciousness. It is something that is a sweet secret. It is learning to feel the separation from Ka. This sounds very awkward and I hope that half of the tent doesnt leave me now! Feel the separation? What does this have to do with love and thinking of Ka? Separation is something very bad. No. You are wrong. To feel separation is good. Prabhupda says, Feeling constant separation while engaged in the service of the Lord is the perfection of Ka consciousness. The spiritual masters should enrich the devotees to this highest devotional perfection. At another time he said, The more you feel the separation from Ka, the more you should understand that you are making advancement. When you feel the need for something then you feel the separation. I must have this. When the lecture is too long in the morning and it is ten oclock, then everybody feels a strong separation from prasdam. You should see when the lecture is over

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and you all jump upthe tent is empty in one second, because the separation from the prasdam pulls you to the place where you can fill your stomach to your satisfaction! Feeling separation happens when you feel there is an acute need in you life, you need Ka. Then you feel separation. A devotee longs to serve Ka and be with Him and feel His presence, because he knows that he is unsatisfied in his life if he is not close to Ka. A devotee must come to this understanding that, If I dont have Ka in my life then what am I doing? Prabhupda explains very nicely the effect of separation in the heart of a devotee: The feeling of separation from the Lord is undoubtedly painful to the devotee, but because it is in connection with the Lord, it has a specific transcendental effect that pacifies the heart. Feelings of separation are also sources of transcendental bliss, and they are never comparable to contaminated material feelings of separation.22 The scriptures give us an example of increasing the feeling of separation. The first stage is of a bird in its nest longing for its mother. This longing is not on such a high level because it is not so interested in its mother. He is interested in the food. Likewise in the beginning of Ka consciousness you are more interested in the gifts of God. When we had a nma-yaja in Southern
22

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rmad-Bhgavatam 1.15.28.

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France, a devotee wrote his prayer on paper and when the reflector light fell on it I unintentionally saw the note which read: Dear Ka, I want a nice Ka conscious wife from You. This is my hearts desire. This is the beginning of the feeling of separation. You want from Ka something that you can recognize on your level of advancement as being necessary for you. The next stage is the stage of the calf. The calf also wants milk, but he has a little bit more affection for his mother than the bird. The birds are not so affectionate and therefore they leave quite early when they can fly. The calf is more affectionate but primarily he also wants milk and not the mother. But he can express affection a little more than the bird and he can move towards his mother. The birds cannot. In the beginning, a devotee wants material gifts from Ka and a better situation, but he should rise a little and move towards Ka, not just sit and wait, Oh, Lord, give me the Mercedes Benz, the milk, or a Ka conscious woman. He should move towards Ka, at least a little bit. The perfection of separation is the woman, at least in the Vedic concept. A Vedic woman will not dress herself in the absence of her beloved husband. When her husband returns from a long journey, she decorates herself very nicely. Her idea is not for her own sense gratification but to please her beloved husband. I will open the door, and then I will smile at my husband, and he will see my beauty, and he will be elevated after this long journey, and we will talk privately and drink coconut...

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This was a sannys version of a meeting! But when her husband is not there, she is morose and sometimes forgets to shower. When is he coming, when is he coming? A very loving relationship. Whatever noise she hears, Oh, this could be my husband. This is ultimately how a devotee should progress in Ka consciousness. He should feel separation and expectancy. He should think, My Ka will soon come. So, first you can think, Ka is my friend because He gives me prasdam. Then you are like a bird. But after you become more purified, you become more interested in just Ka, not the gifts. Just like the woman who loves her husband and thinks, When is he coming... when is he coming? She doesnt think, Hopefully he will come and bring me a new car. No, she thinks, When is he coming and my life will be good again?

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Ka wants to see this in His devotees. Before Ka comes, He wants to see that you wish Him to come, that you long for Him to come. If you do not really want it, you will not be able to utilize it. Let us say you are invited for prasdam. There are beautiful preparations, a beautiful feast with preparations like halav, strawberry with cream, and so forth. It is all there, but if you have no hunger, you will say, Thank you, but not now, later. The most beautiful thing, the holy name is there, but if you have no desire to chant it, if you have no desire for Ka, you will say, Later, later I will finish my rounds, not now. According to Baladeva Vidybhana, bhakti means thirst. Just this one wordthirst. You wantyou want

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you need. You recognize an acute need in your life. I need Ka! When only this feeling is there, you can relate to Ka properly. It is a sad fact in Ka consciousness that devotees who in the beginning are very thirsty for Kalose their thirst. Vivantha Cakravart hkura said that this is utsahamayi: a false enthusiasm. A little boy wants so much to have a book so that he can also look like a grown up person carrying a book under his arm. Then, when he gets the book, he puts it aside because he cannot read it. When I was young I wanted to have a go-cart. For three years I was practically dying a thousand deaths because I wanted a go-cart. Finally, when I was around nine years old, my father said, All right, next Christmas. And when Christmas came, a gocart was there. For exactly three days and three hours and ten minutes I was fascinated with it, and then I lost all the taste and threw it down the cliff into the ocean! This is how many devotees are. They want to come to Ka consciousness, finally they are in the temple in the spiritual environment, but then something happens on the way to heaven. They lose their taste. Why is this so? The reason is that these devotees have failed to go deeper in their Ka consciousness. They failed to engage their minds to develop feelings of separation from Ka and love for Ka. Just like the little boy. When he finally got his gift of a book he thought, Yes, I am also a grown up person, I have a book. But because he did not know how to read the book, he put it away. If we are in Ka consciousness, we must learn to read,

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we must learn to utilize Kas gifts for us, we must learn to feel thirst for Ka. If this does not appear, we will leave, or we will become mechanical devotees who are not tasting Ka consciousness and therefore are trying to taste other things.

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Ka Tests How Much You Want Him

When you really want Ka, He will not appear before you immediately. He will test you, if you really want to see Him. Dont expect Ka to come immediately when you say, I love Ka, I am in the Hare Ka movement. He wants to test you if you really want Him. Now I will say something a little more advanced in Ka consciousness. In Vndvana, the gops once met with Ka. Ka had called them with His flute into the forests of Vndvana and the gops responded. They left everything behind, even their good reputation, because it is not acceptable in the Vedic society that girls go in the midst of the night to see a male person in a forest. Finally, with great risk they stood before Ka, and Ka addressed them, Oh, what are you doing here? The reason why you are here is most probably that you want to see the forest at night. But now that you have seen it, you can return. The gops said, Oh, no, Gopla! Why are You doing this to us? You know what we want. We want You! Now you are sending us away. It was a long ll and it culminated in the rsa-ll,

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a dance in which Ka fulfilled the desires of all His dear devotees, the gops. Then He disappeared. The gops sat down. They were thinking that Ka first called them, then he wanted to send them away, and when they didnt want to go, He ran away from them by disappearing into the forest, so they said, My dear Gopla, Govinda, what kind of lover are You? Are You the one who only gives as much as He receives? Are You the one who gives always more than He receives, like a loving parent who is always there for his son? Or are you an ungrateful person? The gops wanted Ka to admit that He was an ungrateful lover, because in their view Ka had not responded to them in the way they had offered themselves to Him. Ka also didnt give them more than they had given. In their view Ka received so much affection from them and then went away. They thought they had cornered Ka, and therefore He should admit that He was ungrateful. But because they are gops and they love Ka so much, they didnt want to say this to Ka, they wanted Ka to say that personally, to admit it in an open assembly. Kas answer is very important for all of us. But Ka said, I am not a lover in these three categories, I am another type of lover. He explained, I am a lover who wants to increase your love. Then Vivantha Cakravart hkura explains how Ka speaks, I have seen how you were crying for Me. I was standing behind a tree. I have seen how you were searching for Me. I have seen all of this, and I wanted to

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increase your love. Ka says,

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My dear friends, you might be aggrieved by My words and acts, but you must know that sometimes I do not reciprocate My devotees dealings with Me. My devotees are very much attached to Me, but sometimes I do not reciprocate their feelings properly in order to increase their love for Me more and more. If I can very easily be approached by them, they might think, Ka is so easily available. So sometimes I do not respond. If a person has no money but after some time accumulates some wealth and then loses it, he will think of the lost property twenty-four hours a day. Similarly, in order to increase the love of My devotees, sometimes I appear to be lost to them, and instead of forgetting Me, they feel their loving sentiments for Me increase.23 Ka knows you can only experience the ecstasy of love when the love is strong, not weak like the person with the go-cart or the brhmaa boy who loves the book and then puts it aside after some time. Therefore Ka wants to increase the feelings of separation. He wants to do this so that you can become a more qualified lover, more qualified for the loving exchange with the most loving person. This is also Kas way to test us, because some people in this world are not so much interested in Ka,
23

KA, The Supreme Personality of Godhead, Chapter 32.

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but only in His gifts like prasdam and a good wife. For these Ka will not reveal Himself. Ka wants to see that you want Him. In a purport to liya v pdarat pinau mm Prabhupda says that a devotee shouldnt think, Oh, if the Lord doesnt appear to me Ill get another Lord. Ka wants exclusive love, and therefore He sometimes tests us. Please, dont be discouraged. Dont think, I have given so much to Ka. I have chanted my rounds and still I am not selfrealized, and then get another Lord, the boss at work or whoever. Please know that Ka sees your trials, your endeavors, and He becomes more pleased. He wants to see this. He is not absent when you think He is absent. In Vraja-ll, He is behind a tree. In our lives He is behind all the things which happen to us, and He watches how you will react. He is very disappointed if you get another Lord. Very disappointed. So, be encouraged and know that Ka wishes to increase your strong feelings of separation.
Ka cannot be absent from a devotee when the devotee is intensely absorbed in thoughts of Him. Kuntdev was very much anxious, thinking that Ka will be absent, but the actual effect of Kas physical absence is that He becomes more intensely present within the mind of the devotee. Therefore Caitanya Mahprabhu, by the example of His actual life, taught vipralambha-sev, service of Ka in separation. Tears would come from His eyes like torrents of rain, for He would feel

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everything to be vacant for want of Ka.24

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How to Develop Feelings of Separation

The more you feel the separation from Ka, Ka! I want You! the more you should understand that you are making advancement. On our level we can feel separation from the devotees of Ka. We can feel, Oh, it was so nice when I was with the devotees and we were sitting at the Adriatic coast talking about things which were in our heart. Now I am alone, but I want to be with the devotees again. This is how you can start with something that is close. A devotee is closer than Ka. You cannot feel the separation from Ka, you cannot feel love for Ka if you dont start with devotees of Ka. Ka says, He who says he is My devotee is not My devotee. He who says he is a devotee of My devotee, he is My devotee. So let us start. When you are down and out, you can take your photo album and think, Wow, when we were here then the world was in order. You can remember the Summer Camp. Oh there were some nice moments on the camp with the devotees. You will begin to understand how when you think about devotees your heart gets purified. Raghuntha dsa Goswami said that the devotees of Ka are like the highway police who protect us against the attacks of our enemies. We have six enemies around
24

Purport, Teachings of Queen Kunti, Chapter 22.

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us: kma, krodha, mada, moha, mtsarya and bhaya. They are enemies that are always ready to strike! When you feel these enemies you should shout the name of the devotees, O Prabhupda! Jay Prabhupda! O Haridas hkura, O Raghuntha! Please help me! They are like the police helping you. O Pracandra! O Lokanth Mahrja! O Bhakti Trtha Mahrja! We should connect ourselves in consciousness with the devotees and then we will partake of their spiritual consciousness and energy. Hare Ka. Especially Prabhupda. He is just waiting that we call him. You can feel separation from deities. Separation means that you connect yourselves in consciousness by longing. Oh, Rdh-Kujabihr, so beautiful at the nma-yaja, They came down from Their throne to receive my heart. They actually came on my platform. I could go and offer my heart at Their lotus feet. You can also feel separation from the mantra. I chanted the Hare Ka mahmantra so nicely. Now I am so dull and I have difficulties with sixteen attentive rounds. I have joined the modern club of the non-spiritual Hare Kas. It was so nice when I was chanting and feeling... Hare Ka, Hare Ka, Ka Ka, Hare Hare / Hare Rma, Hare Rma, Rma Rma, Hare Hare... It was so nice when I was alive. When you regret, Oh, I am so far away from this state... then you will very quickly do something to improve your life. What to do when I am so dull that I cannot feel these feelings of separation and of longing, when I am so much like the German tourist.

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What to do? You must understand that if you want Ka, Ka has to want you. What we look for is a loving exchange with Ka. And Ka has given us the rules of this exchange: ye yath m prapadyante ts tathaiva bhajmy aham mama vartmnuvartante manuy prtha sarvaa As all surrender unto Me, I reward them accordingly. Everyone follows My path in all respects, O son of Pth.25

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As much as you give, Ka gives. Ka only says like this. He gives much, much more. When He sees that you are giving only a little He gives so much more to you. But it is an exchange. Ka waits that you start it. He has started long before. He has started when you were in your mothers womb by giving you the feeling of longing. When you were an embryo you were calling, Oh, this time I will not make the same mistake Ka. When I come out I will be a good devotee. He has given you inspiration and remembrance in your mothers womb. Ka has done His part. He has given you the books of Prabhupda, He has given you devotees, and He has given you prasdam. What more do you wish? He has already given you everything. Now He wants that you also
25

Bhagavad-gt 4.11.

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give something. Otherwise you cant progress. Have you ever tried to make friends with someone? You try again and again... and it does not happen. Have you tried? I have tried many times. Then, after some time you lose the energy to try again. It is human. Then you make another superhuman effort, but again nothing. Then what do you do? You say, I cant push myself on this person. So this is how Ka is also. He has given so much again and again. Let us not be in the God-minus position. Let us start to give. If you cant call out for Ka, Please Ka, save me! Rakamm, phm. then you will be finished! What happens to a baby that cannot cry? Finished. The most important function of a baby is booooo..... Then the mother knows, Ok, I am coming, and does whatever is necessary to fulfill the needs of the baby. Imagine a baby that cannot cry. In the same way, a devotee who cannot cry for Ka, cannot call out for Ka, he will die spiritually. The way to start crying for Ka is very simple. It goes like this: Hare Ka, Hare Ka, Ka Ka, Hare Hare / Hare Rma, Hare Rma, Rma Rma, Hare Hare. Yes, my dear devotees, learn to chant for Ka in a feeling of longing: Please, accept me. Prabhupda once said, Please engage me in Your service is really a prayer, Please accept me. Crying for Ka. Your spiritual life is very much measured by the way you chant the Hare Ka mahmantra. That is also the art of transformationto chant the Hare Ka mantra in

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a longing way. I would like to end my seminar with a very important tool for devotees who sincerely want to change their heart into a valuable place where Ka can appear.

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A Lesson to Learn from Ones Own Activities

Those who have made a sincere study of what is necessary to transform the heart know that it is best when the mercy of the Lord appears. This is the fastest, the easiest and the surest way of transforming. Our heart is like a lotus flower. At the moment, it is closed like the bud of the lotus flower. It is described that when Ka sends His mercysvarpa-akti which is a mixture of hldin and cit aktiit is like an array of mercy that opens up our hearts just as much as the sunlight opens the lotus flower. Our heart is then completely open and we progress from bhva to prema by that merciful array of the Lord. A devotee should constantly wait for Kas mercy and at the same time develop a certain philosophical understanding of the miseries that are bound to come in his life. He should understand that these miseries are not due to others faults. They appear because he has personally caused them. They have, in other words, that place in his life. These are necessary lessons that one has to learn from ones activities. A person who has this

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understanding throughout his life and at the same time does not complain, My Lord, You are bad, You are letting me suffer, but offers respectful obeisances from his heart while engaged in devotional service, will become a candidate for liberation from material existence and go back home, back to Godhead. Many devotees leave the process of spiritual life because they are disappointed at some stage with people or with an institution. When asked, Why? they reply, Oh, I was hurt in the past by so-and-so, the leader was not good, the movement... this... that... my wife... my husband... this person, that person... my guru who didnt understand me... Ka who didnt understand me. The moment you find a fault in someone or a situation and point a finger, it points back at you. In India, they say that when you point your forefinger at someone three fingers point back at you. How this is so? You only need to understand that what happens to you has been caused by you and you alone, then you will succeed further in getting the mercy of the Lord. It is a very difficult point and we need now to concentrate very deeply on this lecture. I want to tell you why I have chosen this subject matter. Some of you leave today, some of you tomorrow and others in two or three days when the camp officially ends. You will all return to your respective situations. Each one of you will enter into a certain situation in life which you may not expect, situations which will surprise and overwhelm you. Very often these situations, especially in the problematic Kaliyuga, are not hundred

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percent enthusing. Very often we feel misunderstood and harmed by others. But this is only correct on a very superficial plane. It feels correct only when you look from a self-centered platform, where you think you are the center of the universe and everything which happens is unfair to you. On the universal level this is not true. On the universal level every little thing which happens is not by chance but has a cause behind it, and your actions are always connected with the cause of things which happen in your life. In the Mahbhrata there is a very moving teaching about this. There was an old woman who had only one son. The son went into the forest and was killed by a snake. It so happened that Arjunaka, a hunter, was there and he saw how the snake disappeared into a hole after killing the son of the old woman. He immediately decided to seek revenge. He smoked the snake out of the hole with fire and captured it in a net. Along with some men from the village he brought the dead son before the old woman. The woman was hysterical. Her son was her only pleasure and meaning in her life, and now he was dead. Arjunaka said, Grieve not. I have captured the snake that killed your son. Old woman, here is my knife, and here is the snake. Torture it to death. When you see the blood of the snake on the floor you will be happy. But the old woman said, I am not sure that the snake is really the cause of my sons death. At this moment the snake began to speak, Yes, I am not the cause of your sons death. Arjunaka said, Pssst! I saw it! Dont say

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these foolish words! You just dont want to be killed. The old woman said, I am not sure, maybe it is Death which is the cause of the death of my son. Yes, yes, said the snake, I think it is Death. Let us call Death. So they called Mtyu and Death in her personified form manifested before them. But Death said, Old woman, I am also not the cause of death of your son. Time is the cause. If it would not be his time to die, I would not be able to do anything. I was called by Time. So a mantra was chanted and Time came. I am very sorry, said the old woman, I have so much pain in my heart. Can you tell me, are you the cause of the death of my son? Kla said, Not completely. His own actions are the cause. Karma. It was his karma to die. The old woman began to smile. Yes, this is correct. My son was a rascal. He was like a snake, causing unnecessary pain to others. Therefore now I see that he has received the reaction to his activities. This teaching, that our own karma causes certain reactions, is necessary to become peaceful in our lives. When you understand that because of your activities your life is not hundred percent the way you wish it to be, it is very good because then you can say, Let me finally be responsible in my life. Let me finally do something! Karma is not a fatalistic understanding, it is not meant to punish but to enlighten you. Anything you experience, when taken the right way, can enlighten you. When you go to the toilet, you create a biological heap which smells so bad. Can you at that moment curse that biological

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heap? Oh, you nonsense heap, why do you create this unpleasant fragrance in the toilet? You cannot point at the biological product of your own eating. You have caused the heap. You have eaten certain substances and now it is through, and you have to find fault not with the heap, but in yourself (if you want to find fault at all). I am sorry, this is as polite as I could express this example. It is a good example, isnt it? Very often I have narrated the story of a person, once a devotee (he may still be in some ways, I hope), who described how he came to Ka consciousness. He was sitting one sunny day on a bench in a park in Berlin trying to meditate. All of a sudden he felt a painful blow on his nose and when he opened his eyes he saw that a bum had just punched him. The bum was standing ready for a fightready for the reaction. But somehow this person understood, I have something to do with this pain. It is a reaction of some activity which I have done in the past. He felt such gratefulness in his heart for being able to understand this very difficult point. He felt almost enlivened. Come, come, said the bum. But he said, No need, no need, I forgive you, its all right. What? said the bum. Then the whole situation changed. The bum who was the aggressor started to cry helplessly like a little child. He said, I do not know why I hit you. I saw you on the park bench and I felt an unexplainable drive in me to just hit you on the nose. Please forgive me. Wait a minute! He ran to one part of the park where he had stored his few possessions in plastic bags. He

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returned with a half-finished bottle of mineral water and said, I want to give you this. Please forgive me. The whole situation had changed. A devotee of Ka should understand that what happens has happened due to his own doing, his karmic reaction. But behind the karma which has come, is Ka. Everything which happens in this universe for a devotee is clear. It has happened under the sanction of the Lord who works through the laws of this nature. If you learn that everything does not happen by chance but by intelligent arrangement which is meant to ultimately enlighten you, if you understand that everything is perfect and the imperfection is only in you because you do not understand Ka, then the whole situation in which you are will change totally as if a veil is lifted from your vision. You will become enlightened and uplifted by this situation. This is a point which is not only understood on the intellectual level. Life has a lot to do with emotions as you know by now. In other words you may understand something, but you may nevertheless feel it differently. Because it is so highly personal I want to give you a little example from my life. Amongst my many weaknesses which have come with me in this life is an over sensitiveness to criticism by others. I think many of us Hare Kas have this psychological pattern in us. We are very much in the same boat. We are very, very sensitive people. Once a person criticised me very harshly in ways which were not very kind. Many came to me and said, This person

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is really trying to stab you from behind. Normally I would have thought of reacting by seeking revenge, but I wanted to experiment with this philosophical point and so I did not say anything and I did not do anything to correct the image which that person was trying to paint of me. Emotionally I was suffering very much, but I did not react. I thought to myself, Why have I come into this particular situation? Why is this person finding faults with me and not others? There must be a reason. I was thinking and praying, and all of a sudden the whole scene changed. I understood. Yes, there are wrong motives in me! Yes, there is a false ego in me! Yes, I have to correct this! The moment I understood this, this person came to me and embraced me with tears in his eyes and said, I said so many wrong things about you. I have slandered your name. I know that was not correct. Please forgive me. I said, No... I mean, Yes! But No! He did not understand. Yes, I forgive you. No, you have not said anything wrong about me. I have caused this. I will never ever forget this experience. It was one of the experiences which really changed my whole understanding in life.

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As another example, I once had the disease called typhus. The doctors said it was due to water I drank in Mypur. The German doctors did not know how to diagnose this disease as they had never treated typhus. The headache grew more and more severe and they said, You are dying and we dont know what is wrong with you. At that time I couldnt sleep any longer due to

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the headache. I was thinking, Ka, something I must change in my life. It is not the disease which is the cause. It is something I must change. I have caused this. You want to teach me. You are behind this. I remember the day that the revelation came. The door of the sick room opened and a nurse was standing there with the brightest smile in the universe. She said, Hare Ka! We can cure you now. We know what it is. Its typhus. Take this huge pill. I took the pill and the next day the terrible headache which almost kills, was down by fifty percent and I was eventually cured in two weeks. It is mystical! It is magical! It works! Whatever happens to you, you have caused it, and if you understand your behavior that caused this, then the lesson is no longer necessary. Its gone.

Everything Happens by the Will of the Lord

Hare Ka! You are looking at me. I know the typical Hare Ka question which is now on your mind and I will address it in a moment. The question is obviously, Do you mean to say that there are no rascals around in this world who do wrong? Do you mean to say we are responsible for all the wrong? Everything is caused by us? Spiritual life means to keep your vision not on the material but on the spiritual plane. There is a verse from g Veda which pjrs chant, o tad vio parama

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pada sad payanti sraya: the vision of the is, the saints, is put towards that spiritual place where Lord Vishnu is the supreme reality. In the Bhagavad-gt, this g Veda prayer that teaches to look towards the Supreme Lord as the cause of everything in life is further explained in the verse: maydhyakea prakti syate sa-carcaram hetunnena kaunteya jagad viparivartate This material nature, which is one of My energies, is working under My direction.26

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Ka is working everything. If you say, I have come to Pula, it is not correct! By Kas mercy you have come here! If you say, I have taken an airplane from Sweden to Zagreb27, it is not correct. By Kas arrangement of aerodynamics, you have come here. You are working with Kas arrangements all the time. The material energy is working under Kas control. You are just swimming in the ocean of material energy. You are moved around by that energy itself which is under the control of the Lord. Never say in spiritual language, I did! Always say, I was an instrument in the hands of Ka. In one very heart-moving lecture, Tribhuvantha
Bhagavad-gt 9.10. Capital of Croatia. 28 Tribhuvanatha Prabhu left his body on Tuesday 16th October 2001.
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Prabhu,28 who is a very elevated devotee in our movement, said something very important. Tribhuvantha Prabhu is in a very critical situation health-wise and the treatment he will try to take now in Brazil may not help cure his cancer. There is some hope, but majority of devotees know that he might fly from Brazil to Vndvana to leave his body. In his last lecture he said, I dont know if I will ever see you again. Tribhuvantha Prabhu summarized what he thought was the most important lesson in his life in Ka consciousness. He said, Dont think you are the operator. Think you are the operated. Dont think you are the doer. Think you are the instrument. Dont think you are the controller. Understand that you are moved by the Lord. This is spiritual understanding. A person who understands that everything happens due the will of the Lord is peaceful. He gets out of that tiny ego-box which separates him from the universal flow of Kas arrangement and he enters the flow of spiritual life, the flow of a river in which all surrendered souls are moving, the flow where you joyfully accept the control of the Lord and you pray to be guided and used by Him. In the Bhagavad-gt, Sixth Chapter, Text 5, Lord Ka gives us very, very useful instructions. He says that while we are in this world we need to practice a little mind control. What we have just heard now is something which is maybe possible to listen only during a lecture but is very difficult to apply in life. You will see. You will go back from the Summer

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Camp, get into a rough situation and say, Why did you say this? Why were you so insensitive? Why were you so this and why were you so that Ultimately, if you dont learn this point, you will even ask, Why is Ka so...? Mind control! Bring the mind back to the philosophical, spiritual outlook of life. Ka talks about this:
uddhared tmantmna ntmnam avasdayet tmaiva hy tmano bandhur tmaiva ripur tmana One must deliver himself with the help of his mind, and not degrade himself. The mind is the friend of the conditioned soul, and his enemy as well.29 The uncontrolled mind is the worst enemy. If you do not learn in this lifetime, it will be very difficult to practice spiritual life because you will be reacting only to external causes and remain on the superficial platform. Ultimately you might find fault in Ka.

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In the Mahbhrata we find an example of a great saint who lived in the desert. He found faults in Ka. The saint was Uttanka and he heard about the battle of Kuruketra. He heard how Ka very cleverly manipulated some incidents, for example, by advising Arjuna to even kill Kara at the time when Kara was in a disadvantaged
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position. Uttanka said, Ka! You are the cause of all this, and now I will curse You! I will curse You since You have caused the death of all these soldiers. You are the cause of all these women crying helplessly. Ka said, Please dont curse Me, because you cannot curse Me. I am beyond the three modes of material nature. I am not moved by what happens in this world. But if you curse Me, the curse will act against you, and you will lose all your brahminical tejas. Yes, the war on Kuruketra is also under My arrangement, but I have arranged this for the betterment of the human society, for the installation of dharma. It was necessary. Uttanka was an impersonalist. He said, Ka, You say this, this means that You must be God, the ultimate Parabrahman. Please prove it! At this time Ka showed a partial manifestation of the universal form, something that even the saint Uttanka could understand. Uttanka was convinced and became a personalist. He had thought Ka was just a clever arranger, a man with extraordinary abilities. My dear devotees, please try to learn this simple act, simple to understand, but difficult to execute. Whenever something happens in your life, ask this question: My dear Lord, You must be behind it. What is it that I must learn in this stage of my life? When you sincerely ask this question, the Lord who is present as the Supersoul will talk to you. He will give you an intuitive understanding. It is a wonderful tool. This tool is explained by rla Rupa Goswami in his work on how to develop bhakti. It comes in vaidh-bhakti the performance of bhakti-yoga on

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the conditional platformwhen we are still not really united with the ray of pure love of Godhead. It comes in sdhana, a practice to come to the sat or eternal platform. Prabhupda very nicely translates this as expecting the Lords mercy as we see in the following text: My dear Lord, any person who is constantly awaiting Your causeless mercy to be bestowed upon him, all the while patiently suffering the results of reactions of his past misdeeds and offering You respectful obeisances from the core of his heart, is surely eligible for become liberated, for it has become his rightful claim.30

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Prabhupda said, This statement from rmadBhgavatam should be the guide of all devotees. When impediments arise, a devotee should simply think of Ka and expect His mercy. That is the only solace. If a devotee passes his days in this spirit, it is certain that he is going to be promoted to the abode of the Lord. rla Prabhupda k jaya! r r Gaura-Niti k jaya! Gaura-premnande hari-haribol!

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About the Author

acnandana Swami left home when he was only sixteen years old, and met rla Prabhupda and decided to become his disciple. During his early years in ISKCON, acnandana Swami learned to translate rla Prabhupdas books from English into German, and then later joined the sakrtana book distribution party in Germany. While distributing books, acnandana Swami began to feel that not only should people own a set of Prabhupdas books, but they should practice Ka consciousness in their homes. Thus he developed nma-haa congregational preaching in Germany and the North European area. Out of the nma-haas grew big preaching programs, with the forming of the Gaurga Bhajana Group and the Nitynanda Bhajana Group. Now sometimes preaching to 30,000 people per evening, acnandana Swami says, My heart dances with joy to see so many people taking to Ka consciousness. Later, acnandana Swami was instrumental in helping start various farm communities and projects

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around Europe, including the Goloka Dhma project in Germany. But Mahrja has not been satisfied with all his endeavors. He has come to realize that the real road to spiritual development is the inward road. For his own spiritual development, therefore, he undertook a number of pilgrimages to holy places, often traveling to Vndvana for chanting retreats. He also visited Badrinath, Kedaranatha, Gangotri, and Mount Kailsh in the Himalayas, Ahobalam, and r Ragam, Melkote, and Tirupati in South India. Always a preacher, acnandana Swami has shared many of the insights he has gathered over the years in his books, which include The Nectarean Ocean of the Holy Name, The Gyatr Book, and The Way of the Great Departure. He has also participated and is still engaged in educational development in ISKCON, including conducting classes at the Vaiava Institute for Higher Education and the project at Radhadesh. Mahrjas new emphasis lies in the preaching concept formulated as the Veda Academy, which presents the culture of Ka consciousness in a unique way. The Veda Academy is already active in eight countries around the world, and promises to influence many more. acnandana Swamis motto is A higher state of being means a higher connection to the self.