Conscious Lessons

by
Dan Morres

Hoyt gave Ari an lingering kiss as they met in the entry way
while heading for the door. Ari catching the metro to Foggy
Bottom and George Washington college where she is a professor of
mathematics, and Hoyt headed for 495 and Vienna were he develops
web application for the latest beltway bandit to hire him away
from the competition.

"Let's start the 4Th of July weekend early," Hoyt suggested

"give us an extra day to get reacquainted."

"We've been over this," Ari replied. "I just have to proctor
this final, and I'll be yours for the rest of the summer."

"Except for Monday through Fridays when I'll be putting in my

usual ten hour days," Hoyt moped.

"Well just be sure to be home early tonight and maybe I'll give
you a preview of what to expect at the cabin this weekend." Ari
said as she gave Hoyt a wink and walked the door.

"Wild horses and threatening bosses couldn't keep me away,"

Hoyt shouted at Ari's back as she made her way towards the
metro.

*******************

It being the Friday before the long Fourth of July weekend,

traffic was very light for his ten mile commute to work.
Cruising at 70 mph Hoyt sighed contentedly at the prospect of
not being completely stressed out before the day actually
began. Unfortunately, the looming holiday also meant the
highway had a large number of truckers who had been driving 20
hours straight in an attempt to begin their holiday sooner than
possible. Two miles before his exit one such trucker fell
asleep and crossed the median into Hoyt’s lane. Instinctively
Hoyt swerved to miss the truck, as he did he turned his head to
see the face of the other driver who had made his last commute.
The two cars locked in a heavy metal dance twisted off the road
and rolled down the bank…

Each thought existed in increasingly narrow quantum until

inevitably, one would not be completed before it expired.
Hoyt’s last comprehensive reflection was that it wasn't a wild
horse but a torpid trucker that ruined his night.

Then nothing...

Like a wisp of smoke in a tornado Hoyt’s first moments of

renewed consciousness saw him struggling terribly against an
unknown assailant while all was dark. Incomprehension wracked
him as he tried to reason why he felt as though he wasn’t
connected bodily, while still feeling as if he was being rent
limb from limb. All the while a tinny sound like a mono-tone
chant encased him as if his whole body was an ear. Not secure
in his sanity, and wondering how he got here he was ready to
give in to the mysterious force. Suddenly a primal instinct
took control, and he imagined himself forming up into a ball and
releasing a magnificent scream from the core of whatever he had
become.

The tempest relinquished its hold. Hoyt descended once again

into blackness, while having the fleeting sense that he was
adrift on a directed current.

*******************
“Hello.”

“Hello?”

Hoyt awoke still blind, still disconnected.

“You awake?” Said a voice sounding as though it was coming

through a string with paper cups on each end.

“Oh good I can see you’re coming around,” Said the voice.

Hoyt tried to respond but could not.

“Don’t try to talk. Just think what you want to say, and we
will be able to understand you.”

Still reeling from recent events his mind unleashed a torrent of

confused questions.
“What's this? Who's talking? Can’t see? Am I alive, sane? Why
not talk? Read mind? That storm, tearing?... Ari!"

“All noted, please be patient and as open minded as possible.

There is no easy way to answer your questions so I will be
absolutely blunt, but first I will begin with your second
question. My name is Damocles.”

He paused.

Produced a coughing sound.

Waited...

Finally Hoyt provided the anticipated response.

“That Greek guy with the sword over his head?” Asked Hoyt,
wondering why he would hallucinate about him.

“No, an honest mistake. He was mostly a myth whereas I am

real. I lived in beautiful Athens until my death in 234 BC. Of
course we didn’t know it was 234 BC then, but I've had a lot of
time to extrapolate the date to all current and archaic
calendars. I digress however. You were relatively quick to
make that connection so you appear to be adjusting well;
therefore we will tentatively say that you are indeed as sane as
could be expected. That will relieve my loose cloud after what
you did to the brethren.”

“We’re dead? A loose cloud? The brethren? What did I do?”

Thought Hoyt feeling completely overwhelmed.

“Those are more questions and will be added to the end of the
queue,” sighed Damocles “But for now allow me to finish the
initial batch of inquires before we go meandering off on that
tangent. Believe me, all will be covered exhaustively before we
are done.”

“Moving on,” continued Damocles “you can’t see because after

death your body expires but consciousness continues. We will
dig into that momentarily. Suffice it to say, you are no longer
a physical being, but a creature of energy. You are currently
what we call a ‘free spirit’, thus your physical senses are no
longer available. The only reason you are hearing me is
because, at great effort, I am making the vibrations on your
substance that your mind understands as speech. Soon you will
learn to read the energy flux of other ethereals as I am doing
with you.”

“You’re telling me I’m dead but still aware? Are you trying to
destroy my existential philosophy?” Hoyt inquired.

“That depends on your current view.” Damocles said.

“Shit Happens.” Hoyt answered, conveying a smirk in his

thoughts.

“Excellent,” said Damocles “not so much the philosophy as the

humor in which you thought it. At least I don’t feel like I am
talking to a toaster anymore. As for your view it is correct in
conveying that there was no design behind our existence, but I
would make one minor addendum. ‘Shit happens, and when it’s
conscious the smell lingers indefinitely’.”

“I’ll make a note of that.”

“Good,” vibrated Damocles “Now we can give you an overview of

your non-physical life. In a nut shell, when a creature becomes
conscious it gains the ability to carry on after its physical
death. Sadly for the first people this was just another part of
evolution so they were left floating without the ability to see,
hear, or feel. We can only assume they went insane, or
destroyed themselves.”

“We can die again?” Hoyt asked.

“Most assuredly,” answered Damocles. “Although we can exist

indefinitely we are not immortal. We can go insane and lose our
‘self’, which is after all consciousness. We can also be
destroyed by high radiation or large jolts of electricity as you
almost found out.”

“I did what?”

“I promise to get to that as soon as possible, but first you

need some more background. Getting back to the perils of us
ethereals. We can also be absorbed by a stronger conscious
giving our energy and experiences to them, yet another
experiment you performed in your first seconds on this side.”
“Sigh,” thought Hoyt knowing he wasn’t going to find out what
actually happened until Damocles had run his course.

“As I stated earlier, you are what we call a free spirit. There
are also conscious couples, basically it’s a marriage among us
ethereal forms except that it doesn't have to be between only
two people and the previous gender or species of the partners
has less to do with the coupling than do personality traits or
chemistry as the corporeal would say.“

“I can’t just let that pass!” Interrupted Hoyt. “Did you say
species?”

“Yes of course, dolphins became conscious shortly after humans.

It turns out they are great companions and very funny, as long
as you don’t tell them that you were once a tuna fisherman. We
have a good number in our cloud, you can meet them as soon as
you learn to communicate like the dead. Now where was I?” Asked
Damocles.

“Conscious couples,” prompted Hoyt as he tried to imagine what

it would be like conversing with a dolphin.

“Right, Couples actually share the same space allowing them

very intimate access to their mates. The loose clouds, as I
mentioned previously, are groups of free and coupled consciences
living as a ‘community’, but able to practice free will and act
autonomously. The tight clouds, in contrast, are groups
containing ‘souls’ who either willing or through force gave up
their will to a dominant mind.

“Sort of like Arthur C. Clarkes‘ 'Childhoods End’,” Hoyt thought

without realizing it.

“Oh, you’re a science fiction fan. That explains the ability to

adjust surprisingly quickly to an absurd situation. I was dead
thousands of years before that great work was written, but I
have heard the story many times from other associates, and would
say yes, except he had aliens running the show so it was a great
deal less chaotic than the fucked up mess we have here.” Replied
Damocles.

“So there are a lot of Arthur C. Clarke fans in your cloud?”

Thought Hoyt.
“Oh yes, I must say there will be hordes of loose clouds
ensuring his safety the day he passes over.”

“Safety from what?”

“From the same thing we needed protection against before we

passed on.” Replied Damocles. “Other humans!”

“But Wh…”

“SO as I was saying, the first conscious humans didn’t have

much of a chance. They would have floated randomly maybe
running into another mind so that their isolation could be
shared, but not much lessened. They would hold on to each other
once found slowly building blind, deaf, and dumb colonies;
knowing that they were in a group but unable to share anything.
Other early cloud colonies might have actually collocated with
the other minds so they could communicate like the couples.
That too had its pit-falls without knowing what they were doing
they could easily create a schizophrenia where no one knew which
thoughts were their own; or one mind would subsume the others
until there was one larger conscious. Finally one ethereal, or
maybe it was a group, learned how to read the foremost thoughts
of other consciouses without bonding, and eventually to teach
the skill. It must, literally, have been a spiritual
renaissance. Soon directed movement must have followed and then
touch, until finally - many thousands of years after the first
people – sight was rediscovered. “

“Then I will learn these skills?” Queried Hoyt hopefully.

“Oh dear yes, yes.” Said Damocles. “Things have changed since
then. We can give you those abilities almost immediately, and
normally would have by now, but it requires that one of us
overlay ourselves on you to train your mind.”

“Like coupling?” asked Hoyt.

“Exactly, good to know you’ve been paying attention. It

wouldn’t be permanent of course, as a matter of fact it would
only take a few minutes, and it is relatively simple. The only
problem is that no one in my cloud will agree to do it until we
have learned more about you.”

“Why am I so different?!” Exclaimed Hoyt suddenly tired of this

game.
“OK, I guess we have covered all the prior questions, so I can
now tell you a story that would be considered a myth by any
ethereal who had not witnessed it first hand.” Commenced
Damocles.

“You had a bit of bad luck following you when you crossed over.
The brethren as we call them, are a tight cloud community who
were known as Contemporary Apostles while living.”

“Damn! Even in death I can’t get away from those freaks,” cursed
Hoyt.

“What was that?” Asked Damocles.

“Oh, sorry about that, it’s just that I lived next to a couple
of those particular zealots.”

“Well, judging by your tone you may be interested in learning

that there is one less living zealot, and about one hundred less
ethereal ones.”

“What?”

“Let me continue.” Said Damocles. “Most unmarked spirits get at

least a running chance to avoid absorption. Unfortunately for
you a Contemporary Apostle died at the same time and in the same
place. "

Hoyt recalled the fleeting glimpse he had of the guy the other
car.

"Tight clouds track their members from life so that they can
‘greet’ and initiate them as quickly as possible after death;
prohibiting them from becoming aware of their freewill. I’m
sure this particular cloud could not believe its extraordinary
luck when it not only had a true believer that it could,
perhaps, groom to take control of its own cloud, but also fodder
it could absorb making it stronger.”

“Fodder… huh.” Though Hoyt with sort of a nervous laugh.

Ignoring Hoyt Damocles continued “There are two strategies tight

clouds use to absorb a 'soul'. The first way is to stretch it
out until the newly departed conscious looses coherence and is
digested bit by bit. This is the preferred method because it is
quick and takes very little overhead, just several dozen
fanatics stretching the life out of you. Alas, souls are as
different as the human beings from whom they were derived, and
some will not be torn no matter how much one plays tug-a-war
with their essence. For these an isolation chamber is formed in
the clouds core, allowing the trapped essence to slowly go
insane. Eventually to be, almost gratefully, assimilated.
Judging by your initial flurry of questions, you know which
method they were using on you, and it seemed a sure bet they
were going too succeed.  You were stretching so far that if
they had strummed you it would have sounded like a Jimi Hendrix
guitar solo. He was saved too I’ll introduce you sometime. ”

“Uhhm.. Great?!” said Hoyt.

“Don’t mention it, it’s my pleasure,” Damocles paused trying to

remember where he left off. “Stretching yes, your essence was
looking remarkably like fishing line, and the community was
about to turn away, for they had seen too many innocent souls
perish in that fashion. When like a rubber band returning to
its natural form after having been shot by an mischievous child,
you coalesced and released the largest discharge of pure energy
anyone amongst us had ever witnessed. Just like that the cloud
ceased to exist. After the shock that had immobilized us had
faded, and the air had cleared there you were. Noticeably
abated, barely intact, and not aware, but still alive. We
rushed you off and watched you for five days until you finally
awoke today.”

“And you think I caused that?” Hoyt replied incredulously.

It could only have come from you Hoyt. Besides that fact that
the burst emanated out from where you were located, if it was
caused by an outside force you too would have expired.”

“But I would never kill anyone, to take away so many lives, It's
not possible!” Exclaimed Hoyt as the horror of what Damocles was
telling him sank in.

“Be fair to yourself. You didn’t know your circumstances, you

were struggling for your very existence and you obviously did
not purposely release that destruction. It was pure survival
instinct, and you did the only thing that could save yourself.
Not to mention the fact that the brethren are notorious for
praying on ethereals who are not affiliated with any of the
existing tight cloud communities, or 'unmarked ethereals' as we
call them.”
Damocles said no more allowing Hoyt to to come to terms with
what had passed.

Finally Hoyt thought tentatively, “after 30,000 years of

consciousness on this planet, this must have happened before?”

“There are many legends of similar occurrences in varied

situations, but your circumstances deviate at a couple of
points. First, the type of energy you released would have been
visible to people still alive. It would have looked like a
lightning bolt originating from a cloudless sky. In all my days
as a spirit I've never heard of that. Also, although energy
discharge has been successfully employed to repel an aggressor;
an expenditure large enough to destroy even one consciousness
always caused the initiator to perish too.” Emphasized
Damocles. “Now you understand why no one will join to you until
we are sure you are stable and friendly.”

“Yes…” Thought Hoyt. “I’m still not convinced that I could have
caused that destruction, but I understand your caution.”

“Good! That went extremely well. The cloud is noticeably more

relaxed, and from what I have read from you during our talk I
have no reservations about volunteering to do the coupling
personally. If you agree?” Asked Damocles.

After an extended pause Hoyt responded, “What you think I did,

would it be something that could be learned by others?”

“That, I can’t tell you. It could be a special ability that

only you can achieve, or it could be like communication and once
it is discovered it could be taught to all.”

“And if it is a new rung on the evolutionary ladder, then who

ever couples with me could learn it without my knowledge?” Asked
Hoyt.

“Yes, in coupling there are no secrets. To be completely

truthful the coupler, having been an ethereal longer than you,
might even be able to understand the process better.” Damocles
replied comprehending Hoyt's concern.

“Then,” Hoyt thought “I trust you understand that I am extremely

grateful to you for protecting me, and explaining my situation
so thoroughly. However, if I do have such a dangerous ability,
then I need to completely trust whoever would join with me, and
although I feel that I like you, the couple of hours that we
have been talking is not long enough to trust anyone with such
knowledge. Therefore, even though I would love to have all my
senses immediately, and talk to a dolphin and Jimi Hendrix, I
can not consent.”

“I must say if my cloud had bodies they would be giving you a

standing ovation right now,” said Damocles. “Your assessment is
absolutely correct. We will protect you and teach you the old
way as best we can. Where you go from there is your choice…
Now I believe there is one more question which has yet to be
answered.”

Caught off guard Hoyt tried to remember his initial flurry of

questions, then with a sigh he thought “Ari…..”

“Yes that would be it.” Responded Damocles. “If you tell me

where you used to reside, I will take you to her and fill you in
on her circumstances."