Girls Guide to 21st Century Sex

When it goes right, sex is the easiest and most natural thing in the world. And when it goes wrong, its the most wretched. Thats when you need a Girls Guide to 21st Century Sex. The following information has been put together from information thats available on the web to go some way to dispel some of the doubts, the fears, the uncertainties and the dreadful embarrassment that surrounds the subject of sex. Wherever you are on the sexual journey, there is someone, somewhere who shares your interest and with whom you can achieve some kind of sexual fulfillment. We hope that the sex you create will be fun, legal and above all - safe. As they put it on the life-enhancing Outsiders website, If you believe in love, you will.

Contents

Abstinence/New-born virgins Addiction to sex Age of consent AIDS BDSM Buggery Cervical cancer Circumcision Clitoris Contraception Department of Health Disability Dogging Edge play Fetishism Fisting Flagellation Genital warts Health Protection Agency (HPA) Herpes simplex virus Impotence

Irritable Bowel Syndrome/ Incontinence Learning disabilities & sex (SPOD) Leather/gay leather/leatherman Masturbation Mutilation (see circumcision) People With Learning Disabilities Revise F65 movement Sex after stroke Sex during pregnancy Top/bottom (see Edging) Transgender/Transvestite/ cross dressing Vasectomy Viagra (see impotence)

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Abstinence
Although not for everyone, the just say no approach to any sexual activity before marriage has its supporters. Abstinence education is widely taught in the United States where it attracts large scale federal funding. There are more than 80 independent organisations, mainly religiousbased, that sponsor public virginity pledges and rallies and it is estimated that 2.5m adolescents have taken pledges to remain virgins till they marry. Sounds good, especially when you realise that teenage pregnancy rates in the US have been falling since 1991. However, research suggests that most of the decline was in fact due to improved contraceptive use amongst sexually active teenagers. Even worse, there appears to be confusion amongst young people about what constitutes abstinence.Half of all 15-17 year olds in one survey believed that a person who had oral sex was still a virgin! And a large scale study of young people also found that graduates of abstinence programmes had rates of sexually transmitted infection very similar to other young people.And the reason? Because they were significantly less likely to use condoms and were less aware of sexually transmitted infections. So the jury is still out on abstinence. The current thinking seems to be that good, comprehensive sex and relationships education which starts before the onset of sexual activity does not make young people more likely to have sex. more are at risk, according to research published in the March issue of the journal Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity. At a recent conference on sexual addiction in where else? - California, experts said online sex addiction was creating a dangerous new compulsion affecting everyone from housewives to gay men and corporate executives. They added that online sex addicts are divided equally between men and women, contrary to popular belief that an overwhelming majority of cybersex participants are male. Psychologists warned that the internets anonymity and the wide range of fetish and fantasy sites created hypersexuality, which they defined as a compulsive need for cybersex that can choke the life out of marriages and partnerships. If youre worried about your own or your partners use of online porn, contact your local branch of Relate on 0845 456 1310, call Relateline on 0845 130 4010 from 9.30am to 4pm Monday to Friday or call 0845 456 1310.

B
http://www.relate.org.uk/ or http://www.family.org/married/ topics/a0025117.cfm or http:// www.care.org.uk/Group/Group. aspx?id=17166 any kind of gay sex (defined as anal intercourse for men but not defined for women) requires both participants to be 17 or over. The age at which a culture allows young people to have sex is a fascinating reflection of its moral temperature and varies widely across the world. For more information and some great, straightforward advice, go to the excellent Avert site. DS, D/S) Sadism & Masochism (or Sadomasochism) (S&M, SM) Many of the specific practices in BDSM are those which, if performed in neutral or nonsexual contexts, are widely considered unpleasant, undesirable, or disadvantageous. For example, pain, physical restraint and servitude are traditionally inflicted on persons against their will and to their detriment. In BDSM, however, these activities are engaged in with the mutual consent of the participants, and typically for mutual enjoyment. This emphasis on informed consent and safety is also known as SSC (safe, sane and consensual), though others prefer RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink), which places the emphasis more on informed consent, and acknowledges the fact that all activities are potentially risky. Some couples enjoy an element of BDSM to enhance their sexual play and the important thing is to know where play goes too far into cruelty or violence.

Age of consent
Although some young people may feel that they are mature enough to engage in a sexual relationship, others may lack the emotional development to deal with this or to feel confident enough to say no. Age of consent laws are there to protect young people from being sexually exploited by adults. The age of consent is the age at which the law says a young person can agree to have sex. Before someone reaches the age of consent, they are not allowed to have sex with anyone, whatever age their partner may be. The law says that to have sex, both partners must be over the age of consent. In England Scotland and Wales, the age of consent for heterosexual sex (defined as vaginal intercourse) is 16. In Northern Ireland, its 16 for straights but

AIDS
Sexual Health Line For information on HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, call this free, confidential 24-hour helpline on 0800 567 123.

Addiction to sex
Michael Douglas, Jessica Simpson, Michael Barrymore, Steve Coogantheyre all at it. Theyre addicted to it, if you believe what you read in the papers. Just cant stop having sex. Yet there is a real problem with sexual addiction and its one that affects ordinary people who dont have access to expensive clinics to cure us: online porn. More and more people are becoming addicted to sex on the internet. Some 200,000 Net users are addicted to online sex and millions

BDSM
BDSM is a term which describes a number of related patterns of human sexual behaviour. The major subgroupings are BDSM itself: Bondage (BD) Bondage & Discipline (B&D) Domination & Submission (D&S,

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Cervical cancer
not. The tissues in the rectal area are particularly delicate and susceptible to tearing, so a personal lubricant should always be used for anal intercourse. However, oil-based lubricants like Vaseline destroy latex condoms, and the two should not be used together. In women, deeply penetrative anal sex must be attempted with care, because the female upper rectum passes close to the uterus, which can be damaged by vigorous intercourse. Like any form of sex, anal sex is much more dangerous when you are under the influence of alcohol or drugs, since these reduce responses, judgment, and ability to pay attention to your own needs. So dont do anal sex when youre out of your head! Lets start with the bad news: there were an estimated 2,400 new cases of invasive cervical cancer in England in 2000 making it the eleventh most common cause of cancer deaths in women in the UK. Now for the good news: the number of people contracting cervical cancer is declining. And fewer of those who contract cervical cancer die from it. In England and Wales, the incidence fell by 42 per cent between 1988 and 1997. This is directly related to the rapid increase in coverage of the cervical screening programme which now saves approximately 1,300 lives per year So theres every reason to get tested! If the results are positive there are two main methods of treatment: the abnormal cells may be destroyed using a laser or may be cut away using loop diathermy, where a thin wire loop cuts through and removes the abnormal area. This is the most common treatment. Hysterectomy is not usually necessary and treatment aims to preserve a womans fertility and ability to have children wherever possible. Many women feel nervous about having sex soon after treatment for cancer, but it is perfectly safe. Sex wont make the cancer come back and your partner cant catch cancer from you. Women often find that they need to take more time over sex to help the vagina relax. It may also be easier if your partner is gentle at first so that the vagina can stretch slowly. Regular gentle sex will help the vagina regain its suppleness and you should be able to resume your usual sex life a few weeks after the radiotherapy. For more information contact Cancer BACUPs freephone UK helpline on 0808 800 1234 http://www.cancerbacup.org. uk/Cancertype/Cervix sons of hygiene or religion. It has no effect on sexual stimulation. Female circumcision is a term applied to a variety of procedures performed on the female genitalia. The external part of the clitoris may be partially or totally removed during female circumcision in voluntary or involuntary procedures. The topic is highly controversial with many countries condemning the traditions that give rise to involuntary procedures. Some countries outlaw even voluntary procedures. Amnesty International estimates that over 2 million involuntary female circumcisions are being performed every year, mainly in African countries.

There are lots of further stories, images and discussion at http://www.allbdsm.com/ or at http://bondage.com/.
See also flagellation and edge play.

Buggery
Sodomy (from the sins of Sodom) and buggery (a corrupted form of Bulgar[ian]) were first introduced to describe religious abominations and, indeed, the Buggery Act was adopted in England as early as 1533 during the reign of Henry VIII. The Act made buggery with man or beast punishable by hanging, a penalty not finally lifted until 1861. Whatever the historical context, its important to remember

that unprotected anal sex is an effective means of passing on most sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). In particular, it is the sexual activity which most effectively transmits HIV, which can lead to AIDS. According to health care professionals, condoms should always be used for anal intercourse, but they should not be considered an absolute safeguard. In principle, anal sex with anyone known to have a sexually transmissible disease, and indeed with anyone whose disease-negative status has not been determined, should be avoided. Quite apart from the risk of passing on STDs, anal sex does carry some risks to health and comfort. For example, while the vagina secretes its own lubrication, the anus and rectum do

Clitoris
The female clitoris comes from the same type of tissue that forms the penis. Its called the corpus cavernosum, and is a rich collection of capillary tissue with a substantial presence of nerve tissue. This makes it particularly well-suited for sexual stimulation. Including external and internal components, it is thought the

...there were an estimated 2,400 new cases of invasive cervical cancer in England in 2000
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Circumcision
The word circumcision comes from Latin circum (meaning around) and caedere (meaning to cut). In men, circumcision is the removal of some or all of the prepuce (foreskin). This is usually performed in childhood for rea-

Girls Guide to 21st Century Sex

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9am to 5pm Fri 9am to 4.30pm fpa Northern Ireland 113 University Street Belfast BT7 1HP 028 9032 5488 (Belfast) or 028 7126 0016 (Derry) Mon-Thur 9am to 5pm Fri 9am to 4.30pm http://www.fpa.org.uk/ Organisations offering abortion, pregnancy testing and contraceptive services for a fee are: bpas Action line: 08457 30 40 30 Marie Stopes clinics Telephone: 0845 300 8090. information about health and the NHS so that people are better able to care for themselves and their families. The service aims to provide clinical advice to support self-care and appropriate selfreferral to NHS services, as well as access to more general advice and information. Sexual health direct 0845 310 1334 Available Monday to Friday, 9.00 am to 6.00 pm Sexual health direct is a nationwide service run by fpa. It provides;

clitoris is similar in size to the penis. Most of the clitoris is hidden, and external stimulation of the entire clitoris can result in a more profound sexual response. One explanation advanced for the vaginal orgasm is that it results from stimulation of the internal parts of the clitoris during vaginal penetration. During sexual arousal, the clitoris enlarges as its erectile tissue fills with blood. Shortly before orgasm, this erection often increases further, drawing the clitoris upwards, so that viewed from the outside it actually appears to shrink. Wikipedia and see also http:// www.the-clitoris.com/

Planning Assocations) nationwide helplines are open Monday to Friday 9.00 am to 6.00 pm and provide: Confidential information and advice on contraception, sexually transmitted infections, planning a pregnancy, pregnancy choices and sexual wellbeing Details of family planning clinics, sexual health clinics and other sexual health services A wide range of leaflets on individual methods of contraception, common sexually transmitted infections, abortion and planning a pregnancy Sexual health direct 0845 310 1334 fpa UK 2-12 Pentonville Road London N1 9FP fpa Scotland Unit 10 Firhill Business Centre 76 Firhill Road Glasgow G20 7BA 0141 576 5088 Mon-Thur

Details of family planning clinics, sexual health clinics and other sexual health services A wide range of leaflets on individual methods of contraception, common sexually transmitted infections, abortion and planning a pregnancy Sexual health line 0800 567123 Available 24 hours, 365 days a year The sexual health line provides advice and information about HIV, AIDS and sexual health/local services. Calls to the helpline are confidential. Online the DoH has a searchable A-Z index at http://www.dh.gov.uk/SiteMap/ AZSiteIndex/fs/en?CONTENT_ ID=4068407&chk=RX1KsC

Information tends to be a bit general unless you manage to find your way to the DoHs guide to STIs at the memorable URL of http://195.167.181.47/index.asp). This is the home of the funky interactive Sex Lottery website which features games with yoof names like Iffy Stiffy and scratch my box. Definitely worth a look if STIs are your thing and youre not over 18. I managed to pick up Chlamydia at my first attempt!.

Dogging
Is dogging legal? Unfortunately, there is no clear cut answer. The sections of the 2003 Sex Act that are relevant to doggers are Section 66 Exposure and Section 67 Voyeurism. Under Section 66, doggers

Contraception
There is loads of good information about contraception available. One of the best sources is http://www.brook.org.uk/ which has simple, clear facts, answers to your questions and a very silly shoot em up game using contraceptive pills! If you want to speak to someone fpas (formerly the Family

Department of Health
As one might expect of the Governments official health agency, the DoH has a wide range of information on all aspects of public health, including sexual health. There are several telephone helplines including NHS Direct provides advice and

Confidential information and advice on contraception, sexually transmitted infections, planning a pregnancy, pregnancy choices and sexual wellbeing

...as you take all reasonable precautions not to offend or observe the none dogging public

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vealing the parts they love, the parts they hate, and the parts that say the most about them. Partly as a result of exposure such as this, its PC and cool to be seen out with a disabled person. People with mobility disabilities enjoy better access, events use loop systems, and are generally part of society in a way that was not the case 20 years ago. However over that same period, society has become even more looks oriented. People are made to feel insecure due to pressure from the media to be slim, beautiful and fit. This makes them worry about what their friends, colleagues and parents might think if they choose a disabled partner. The well-named Outsiders Club is dedicated to helping its disabled members and the public at large to look beyond superficial skin-deep appearance, the bank balance and work status, to embrace the deeper values of life. Their website is bursting with vitality and positive ideas because they believe that disabled people are invariably ingenious, communicative and fun-loving and thus actually make the best partners. www.five.tv/mysecretbody http://www.outsiders.org.uk/ They also have a sex and disability helpline that is answered 11am-7pm weekdays on 0707 499 3527. the rest of their lives and wish, for a period of time, to surrender completely to another individual. Or they might be using edge play to confront fears or phobias that have been influencing their lives. There are as many reasons why people do this as there are edge players. Further useful advice available on things you need to consider if youre interested in edge play such as legal issues, the skills required, the styles of top and bottom and the need for aftercare (!) is available at http://www. iml2003.com/ the human body, such as articles of clothing or footwear. Other common examples are characterized by some particular texture such as rubber, plastic, or leather. Fetish objects vary in their importance to the individual: in some cases they serve simply to enhance sexual excitement achieved in ordinary ways (e.g. having the partner wear a particular garment). Fetishistic fantasies are common and generally harmless. However you should seek help from your GP if you or your partner finds that they are leading to rituals that are so compelling and unacceptable as to interfere with sexual intercourse and cause distress.
See also Revise 65

are at risk of the law if it is their intention to cause alarm or distress to members of the public. So, if you take reasonable precautions to make sure that you are well out of public view, you should be fine. Essentially, this means only go dogging at night, away from residential areas and well away from the major car parks where anyone could turn up. If you use the car parks as a general meeting area, then move on to a more discreet location to play; youre taking steps to ensure no one is offended. Under Section 67, doggers are only at risk if they approach couples having sex in cars that are not doggers, and therefore not consenting, but are just simply courting couples. A large number of dogging locations have grown from well established lovers lanes and gay cruising areas, so there is a potential risk of being in breach of section 67. Luckily, the signals used in dogging establish the consent of the couple wanting people to watch them have sex, and therefore section 67 no longer applies as long as you only approach cars that have signalled to you. As you can see, the law is vague on dogging, but as long as

you take all reasonable precautions not to offend or observe the none dogging public, you should be fine. If you are approached by the police, dont get naggy with them (theyre only doing their jobs), simply listen to what they have to say, and if they ask you to move on, knock it on the head for the night, dont just move to another spot. If youre into dogging and want it to be more widely accepted, you need to show that doggers are responsible consenting adults. Which means clean up after yourselves, practice safe sex, dont leave condoms about and make all reasonable efforts not to offend the general pubic. For more information, advice on etiquette and a map of dogging locations, see http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/dogging/

Edge play
According to the highly informative John International Mr Leather 2003 Pendal there is no standard definition of edge play. Its use varies over time and place but, broadly, edge play is, playing at the threshold of someones limits of fear, pain or endurance. For someone who has never been tied up before and is terrified of bondage, that first rope around their wrists might well be edge play. But if he or she has no fear of bondage then the first rope isnt edge play at all. It doesnt become edge play until the Top and bottom go on the journey all the way out to the edge (whatever and wherever that may be) - and then stop and play there for a while. Why do people do edge play? Some people find it very sexy to be terrified. Others enjoy the huge endorphin rush that comes after receiving a lot of pain. Some are tired of being a control freak in

Fetishism
Sexual fetishism, first described as such by Alfred Binet in his Le ftichisme dans lamour, is a form of paraphilia where the object of affection is a specific inanimate object or part of a persons body. The term arose from fetishism, the general concept of an object having supernatural powers, or an object created by humans that has power over other humans. Many fetishes are extensions of

Fisting
Fisting is a human sexual behaviour that involves inserting the entire hand, and sometimes part of the arm, into the vagina (vaginal fisting) or anus (handballing or anal fisting) of a sexual partner. Fisting is also called fist fucking, sometimes shortened to FF. The medical terms for these practices are bra-

Disability
Channel 5 has already tackled the issue of the body beautiful in their 2005 series, My Secret Body in which they invited real people to send in home videos and photographs of their own real bodies, re-

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or other fatty areas of the body, can leave bruising but does not cut or permanently mark the skin.
See also Spanner Trust and BDSM

chiovaginal eroticism (vaginal) and brachioproctic eroticism (anal). Often, fisting does not involve forcing the clenched fist into the vagina or anus. Instead, all five fingers are kept straight and held as close together as possible (forming a beak-like shape), then the hand is slowly inserted into a well-lubricated vagina or anus. Once insertion is complete, the fingers either clench into a fist or remain straight. But in more extreme forms of this practice, such as punching, a fully clenched fist may be inserted and withdrawn. Fisting is one of those subjects that, at first sight, appears to be on the fringe of acceptable sexual behaviour. But, such judgmental views apart, its adherents are all consenting adults and, to judge from the extensive health advice available on their websites such as http://www.leatherviews. com/kinkyinfo/9305.htm, they are considerate and caring.
See also Buggery

Flagellation
Flagellationspanking, caning,

whipping, or paddlinghas a long history. In the 13th and 15th centuries, flagellation was used as an atonement and to mortify the flesh. It was supported by the church, and sects of flagellants were widespread. However, after it became apparent that the practice was sexually stimulating for some practitioners, the church opposed it. Flogging for erotic thrill, typically with implements such as floggers, whips, paddles, or canes, has been called the English vice. In the 18th and 19th centuries, private clubs of members who enjoyed whipping and birching could be found in London. Two of these were the Hell Fire Club (whose members were men) and the Order of St. Bridget (a club for women). The flogger used in this context has a large number of soft broad suede or leather thongs. Its impact is felt as an impact (thud) leaving a stinging sensation. Used with light or medium intensity, it can almost act as a form of massage. Used intensely or for longer periods, it becomes painful. Flogging with this implement, usually on the shoulder blades, behind,

Health Protection
The Health Protection Agency has a searchable up to date A-Z covering all aspects of health protection, not just sexual ones. However, if youre looking to understand conditions such as Genital Warts, Hepatitis, STDs, HIV and so on, this is a good place to start. http://www.hpa.org.uk/ Health Protection Agency Central Office7th Floor Holborn Gate 330 High Holborn London WC1V 7PP

Tel: 020 7759 2700 / 2701 Fax:020 7759 2733 Email:webteam@hpa.org.uk 

Genital warts
Genital warts (also known as venereal warts) are caused by a virus, the human papillomavirus (HPV). Over 90 HPV types have been identified, around a third of which are sexually acquired and live predominantly in genital tissues. Warts are found on or around the penis, anus or vagina. Anyone who has sex is at risk of infection. Individuals having unprotected sexual intercourse (ie without a condom) are at particular risk, especially those with more than one sexual partner, and those who frequently change sexual partners. Warts are the most common viral STI diagnosed in the UK, with highest rates of new cases in 20-24 year old men and 16-19 year old women. Warts can be treated by applying special ointments or paints, by freezing or surgical removal under local anaesthetic.

Herpes simplex virus

The Herpes simplex virus infection (aka herpes or cold sores) is a common, contagious, incurable, and in some cases sexually transmitted disease caused by a virus. In men, the sore areas may occur on the shaft of the penis, in the genital region, on the inner thigh, buttocks, or anus. In women, lesions may occur on or near the pubis, labia, clitoris, vulva, buttocks, or anus.

The appearance of herpes lesions and the experience of outbreaks in these areas varies tremendously among individuals. Herpes lesions on/near the genitals may look like cold sores. An outbreak may look like a paper cut, or chafing, or appear to be a yeast infection. Symptoms of a genital outbreak may include aches and pains in the area, discharge from the penis or vagina, and discomfort when urinating. Initial outbreaks are usually more severe than subsequent ones, and generally also involve flulike symptoms and swollen glands for a week or so. Subsequent outbreaks tend to be periodic or

Most people will only have one or two attacks of herpes but some may have more regular recurrences.

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tual incontinence during sex did not seem to be common, the fear can be just as disabling as the event itself. It is impossible to let yourself go sexually if you are terrified that you will lose control of your bowel. For men, the anxiety may cause difficulty with getting an erection. Such fears are bad enough with a familiar partner; with a new partner they can be devastating. The National Association for Colitis and Crohns Disease (NACC) brings together people of all ages who have Ulcerative Colitis or Crohns Disease, their families and the health professionals involved in their care. These two illnesses are both forms of Inflammatory Bowel Disease and they affect about 1 in 400 people in the United Kingdom. NACC have produced an excellent downloadable factsheet at http://www.nacc. org.uk/downloads/factsheets/ sexual%20relationships.htm National Association for Colitis and Crohns Disease (NACC) 4 Beaumont House, Sutton Road, St Albans, Herts AL1 5HH Information Line: 08451302233 NACC-in-Contact Support Line: 08451303344

episodic, typically occur four to five times a year, and can be triggered by stress, illness, fatigue, menstruation, and other changes. No cure is yet available for herpes but an anti-viral drug (Aciclovir) can reduce the severity of the first and recurrent episodes as well as the length of the first episode. Most people will only have one or two attacks of herpes but some may have more regular recurrences. For more information contact the Herpes Viruses Association using their helpline 0845 123 2305 or at http://www.herpes.org.uk/

treatments available. The main barrier is the great British weakness: embarrassment a barrier that can easily be overcome by dialing one of the numbers below. The Sexual Dysfunction Association Helpline 0870 7743571 http://www.sda.uk.net/ info@sda.uk.net SexualDysfunctionAssociation WindmillPlaceBusinessCentre 2-4 Windmill Lane Southall Middlesex UB2 4NJ www.impotence.org.uk Helpline: 020 8767 7791. Open 9am-5pm Mon-Fri. You can leave a message, and a trained adviser will ring you back in confidence.

Masturbation
According to Wikipedia it is held in many mental health circles that masturbation can relieve depression and lead to a higher sense of self-worth. Masturbation can also be particularly useful in relationships where one partner wants more sex than the otherin which case masturbation provides a balancing effect and thus a more harmonious relationship. Both from the standpoint of avoiding unwanted pregnancy and that of avoiding sexually transmitted diseases, masturbation is the safest of sexual practices. There is no credible scientific or medical evidence that manual masturbation is damaging to either ones mental or physical health.

Impotence
Whatever promises of earthly delights you may receive in your in box, impotence is not something that can be solved with a few tabs of mail order Viagra. Erectile dysfunction (to give it its proper name) is a common problem which affects at least one in every ten men - thats an estimated 2.3 million men in the UK. It is absurd that only about 10% of sufferers actually consult their GP because there are many possible

Inflammatory Bowel Disease

A major fear for many people with IBD is incontinence during sex. One recent study of women with Crohns disease found that half were frightened of having an accident during sex. Even though ac

People with learning disabilities

The vast majority of individuals with a learning disability develop normally as sexual beings. They may need more help to understand the bodily and emotional

changes that occur as they grow up, but if we deny them the right to be sexual and to make and break relationships, their lives are much poorer. Difficulties can occur when this happens and help should be sought from a qualified source. More expertise and literature aimed at people with learning disabilities is needed. People First is a network of groups around the country run by and for people with learning disabilities, providing opportunities to socialise, train and campaign. There is a new craze of nightclubs run by and for people with learning disabilities in London - for more details call 020 7359 7443 (Mondays). SNAC is a network of clubs providing all kinds of activities on 01268 583 181. The Outsiders website at has a very comprehensive list of further contacts and information, a downloadable leaflet as well as some useful FAQs (click on the PLD link under Information). Outsiders also run a helpline (0707 499 3527)which is open weekdays 11am to 7pm. http://www.outsiders.org.uk/pld/ pld_sexuality.htm People First. Independent self-

advocacy for people with learning disabilities, providing some opportunities to meet up. 3rd Floor, 299 Kentish Town Road, London NWS 2TJ Tel: 020 7485 6660 People First Scotland. 34b Haddington Place, Edinburgh EH7 4AG Tel: 0131 478 7707 Email: p1stscot@aol.com Or write to Tuppy Owens, BCM Box Lovely, London WC1N 3XX

Revise F65 Project

Based in Norway, this project is campaigning to remove fetishism, transvestism and sadomasochism as psychiatric diagnoses from the International Classification of Diseases (ICD) published by the World Health Organisation. In short, supporters of R65 believe that those who enjoy fetishism, for example, should not be seen as being ill. The campaigns official website reports on success in some countries such as Denmark where the ICD classification was abandoned in 1995.
See www.revisef65.org

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Attitudes to sex during pregnancy can change for both partners. Review the situation throughout the pregnancy, and dont be afraid to raise any questions you might have about the issue with your health visitor or midwife. Remember, a successful sexual relationship always depends on two people wanting to make love - and that holds true whether one of them is pregnant or not. to use the ladies than the gents. Although the perceived cross-dressing phenomenon is mostly associated with males to females, transsexuality also affects females to males (FtM). However, as women have greater dress and gender freedom in modern society, there are few FtM TV/CDs and fewer FtMs entering the medical system. Also FtM sex change genital (bottom) surgery is far more complex, less satisfactory (and more expensive) than MtF. Many trans-men limit themselves to top surgery and hysterectomy. Most police forces now have transgender policies, codes of conduct and liaison officers. Under the Gender Recognition Act 2004, transsexuals now have the right to have new birth certificates. If you think you might be transsexual, you can see your GP for agreement to refer you to an NHS Gender Identity Clinic (GIC). Alternatively you can see a private psychiatrist, but you will than probably have to pay for all your subsequent treatment. Further information can be found at The Beaumont Society, http:// www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/ Also at the Department for Constitutional Affairs web site (http:// www.dca.gov.uk/constitution/ transsex/index.htm) and the Gender Recognition Panel website (http://www.grp.gov.uk/ ) where there are some helpful FAQs Gender Recognition Panel PO Box 6987 Leicester LE1 6ZX Phone: 0845 355 5155 straight away: it might hurt a bit if it affects your sex life, it will be for the better! You need to bear in mind that it is permanent, so you should only choose this method if you either do not want children or you have all the children you want. If you have any doubts about this, then vasectomy is not for you. Also vasectomy offers no protection against sexually transmitted infections/HIV/AIDS. Its probably not surprising that the best information about vasectomies (and reversal) is published by those private companies who perform the procedure, such as BUPA http://www. bupa.co.uk/ and Marie Stopes international. Both have a number of publications that can be downloaded from their websites at http://www.mariestopes.org. uk/uk/services.htm In addition they have a 24/7 hotline for information at 0845 300 0212. Theres even a webcast of a vasectomy!

See also Transgender issues

Sex after Stroke

Problems with sex after a stroke can develop for all sorts of reasons. The emotional impact of a stroke can change your relationship with your partner, exaggerating any existing problems, whilst the physical and psychological effects could create new difficulties. For a very useful leaflet, visit http://www.stroke.org.uk/infor mation/publications/sex_after_ stroke.html or phone the stroke Association helpline 0845 3033 100 (open Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm) or write to Stroke Information Service The Stroke Association 240 City Road London EC1V 2PR

make love can vary a great deal. Both partners have to be aware of this and of how the other is feeling. Its common for men to fret about hurting the unborn baby, despite knowing the facts, while women may feel sensitive about their changing body shape and less desirable as a result. The unborn baby is protected by a cushioning sack of amniotic fluid - a kind of foetal airbag - so unless there are complica tions with the pregnancy and providing there are no reasons to suspect that the man has a genital infection such as herpes or chlamydia, you and your partner can do it. The physical changes during pregnancy may dictate that you find different sexual positions - the woman astride the man, side to side or from behind, for example. If you experience any pain or bleeding during sex, consult your GP straight away. In addition to nausea and sickness, women undergo huge hormonal changes during pregnancy, and this can affect their outlook on sex.

Transgender/ Crossdressing
If youre someone who likes to cross dress, you are not alone. As many as 1 in 10 men have or will cross dress. Other figures estimate up to 35,000 are, or will be, transsexual. Most Transgender people do not cross-dress for any sexual purpose. Most are heterosexual, normal adults with children living productively in society. Most TV/ CDs cross dress in secret, though a growing proportion go out to clubs and support groups. It is not against the law to dress as the opposite gender. Nor is it against the law to use toilets of the opposite gender and its safer for a TV/CD

Vasectomy
Vasectomy (male sterlisation) is the only permanent method of contraception for men - a safe, simple and effective solution recommended by family planning practitioners worldwide. Nearly one in five men of reproductive age in the UK has had a vasectomy. It is a minor surgical procedure to seal the tubes (called vas deferens) that carry sperm and stops it getting into the ejaculated fluid. There are many fears and myths surrounding vasectomy but we can dispel two of those

Sex during pregnancy

Can we do it? Yes you can! It is possible to make love during pregnancy, from the first day to the last day. But the desire to

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Girls Guide to 21st Century Sex

Other free and confidential sources of advice and information
General practices You can get lists of general practices from libraries, advice centres, helplines, health authorities or health boards. NHS Direct (0845 46 47) and NHS 24 in Scotland (0845 42 42 424) can provide details of your nearest GP. Contraception is free through the National Health Service (NHS). Family planning clinics You can get details of your nearest family planning clinic from fpas helplines or your: phone book, health centre, hospital, midwife or health visitor, advice centre, helplines, health authority or health board and NHS Direct (0845 46 47) and NHS 24 in Scotland (0845 42 42 424). Genitourinary medicine (GUM) and sexual health clinics These are clinics that specialise in sexually transmitted infections. You can get the number of a clinic in your area from the fpa helpline, the Sexual Health Line (0800 567 123), or by looking in the phone book under GUM, STD, special clinic or sexual health clinic. NHS Direct (0845 46 47) and NHS 24 in Scotland (0845 42 42 424) can also provide this information. You can refer yourself to these clinics anywhere in the country. They are: free totally confidential - they will not contact anyone, not even your GP without your permission open to people of any age or sexual orientation.

Services for young people Most health authorities have services for young people. You can get their details from a phone book, school nurse, fpa, or helpline. Phone 0800 0185 023 for details of the nearest Brook clinic offering confidential advice for young people or visit www. Brook.org.uk. Sexwise is a free helpline for young people aged 12-18 which offers advice and guidance on all sorts of sexuality and sexual health issues, including contraception, abortion, relationships and pregnancy. Call 0800 28 29 30 from 7ammidnight, seven days a week

from anywhere in the UK or visit www.ruthinking.co.uk. Pharmacists Some pharmacists are able to supply the emergency contraception (EC) pill free. At almost all pharmacies you can buy it if you are aged 16 years and over. Ask your local pharmacist. If they do not supply EC they should be able to tell you which pharmacy can help you. NHS walk-in centres Some areas of England have NHS walk-in centres. Most of these can supply EC. They have long opening hours and are open at the week-ends and bank holidays. To find out if there is a walk-in centre in your area call the fpa helpline, or call NHS Direct on 0845 46 47.

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