History is littered with heroic and great deaths - most of which we are all familiar with.

But in the dark

recesses of the past, there are a number of very embarrassing or unfortunate deaths. Deaths that their
victim would prefer us not to know about. This list is all about throwing the light on these poor people who
have the misfortune of being remembered partly for a shameful end. This list is in chronological order.

1.Empedocles
Manner of death: Threw himself into a volcano to become immortal

Empedocles was a Greek philosopher who is probably best remembered for his classical theory of the four
elements. He was the last Greek philosopher to write his theories down in verse form. Legend has it that
Empedocles threw himself into the active volcano Mount Etna in Sicily in order to fool his followers into
believing that his body had vanished and that he would return as a god. Unfortunately for Empedocles, one
of his sandals survived the fury of the volcano and it was discovered by his followers - revealing their
leader’s deceit.
2.Pyrrhus

Manner of death: Killed when he was stunned by a tile thrown by an old lady

Pyrrhus of Epirus was one of the greatest conquerors - his heavy losses in one campaign has led to the term
“pyrrhic victory” being coined in his honor. Pyrrhus was such a great warrior that a Spartan royal
(Cleonymus) asked him to defeat Sparta and put him on the throne. Pyrrhus was defeated - having
underestimated the strength of the Spartan warriors, so he moved on to his next campaign in Argos. As he
entered the city through the narrow streets on the back of an elephant, an old woman (unhappy with the
conflict) threw a roof tile at him from her balcony.
3.Eleazar Maccabeus

Manner of death: Killed by the elephant he killed

Eleazar Maccabeus’ death is told in the Old Testament book of “I Maccabees”. During the Battle of Beth-
zechariah, Eleazar thought he saw the enemy King Antiochus V riding an elephant near by. Thinking he
would perform a heroic act by killing the elephant and king, Eleazar jumped under the elephant and stabbed
it in the stomach with his spear. The dead elephant fell right on top of Eleazar killing him instantly. To add
insult to injury, it was not even the King’s elephant.
4.Emperor Valerian

Manner of death: Used as a footstool then skinned

Valerian was a noble Roman who became Emperor Valerian I. During his disastrous reign, the western
empire fell into total disrepair. In 260 AD, Valerian was defeated in the Battle of Edessa and taken captive by
the Persian King Shapur I. In order to humiliate the Emperor, Shapur used him as a footstool. When he grew
tired of his footstool, Shapur had Valerian skinned and had his skin stuffed with dung and straw and put on
display in one of the large Persian temples.
5.Humphrey de Bohun

Manner of death: Speared through the anus

Humphrey do Bohun was a member of a very powerful Anglo-Norman family in England. He spoke out
against the excesses of the King (Edward II). While leading troops at the Battle of Boroughbridge, Humphrey
de Bohun (4th Earl of Hereford) met with a rather unpleasant end:

Humphrey de Bohun led the fight on the bridge, but he and his men were caught in the arrow fire. Then one
of de Harclay’s pikemen, concealed beneath the bridge, thrust upwards between the planks and skewered
the Earl of Hereford through the anus, twisting the head of the iron pike into his intestines. His dying
screams turned the advance into a panic.

Strangely, death via anal insertion was not entirely uncommon during this period of the middle ages, as the
next item will attest.
6.King Edward II

Manner of death: Speared through the anus with a hot poker

Edward II was King of England for 20 years (from 1307 - 1327). Edward greatly upset the nobility in
England because he preferred low-born citizens and had many “special” male friends - who received
extravagant and expensive gifts. After he abdicated the throne and was imprisoned, his wife Isabella
(disturbed by the close relationship the king had shared with a young man in the Royal Court) brought about
his execution in secret:

“On the night of 11 October while lying in on a bed [the king] was suddenly seized and, while a great
mattress… weighed him down and suffocated him, a plumber’s iron, heated intensely hot, was introduced
through a tube into his secret private parts so that it burned the inner portions beyond the intestines.”
7.Humayun

Manner of death: Tripped over his skirts and fell down some stairs

Humayun Mughal Emperor who ruled modern Afghanistan, Pakistan, and parts of northern India from 1530–
1540 and again from 1555–1556. He was a great lover of the arts and astronomy and left behind a great
legacy as a consequence. However, he was also very religious and this is what led to his downfall (literally).
As he was carrying books from the library, Humayun heard the call the prayer. It was his habit to kneel on
one knee when the call was made, and as he bent his knee, his foot got caught in the folds of his long robes.
He happened to be standing at the top of a small flight of stairs. Humayun fell all the way down and hit his
temple on a jagged rock - which killed him.

8.Arthur Aston

Manner of death: Beaten to death with his wooden leg

Sir Arthur Aston was a lifelong professional soldier, most noted for his support for King Charles I in the
English Civil War. He was a great soldier who saw a great deal of action during his lifetime. In September
1644, he fell from a horse and ended up with a wooden leg which was later used in his murder. In 1649,
Oliver Cromwell’s forces attacked his town in the Siege of Drogheda and ordered that everyone be executed.
Aston offered to surrender but the soldiers who captured him believed that he was hiding gold in his leg.
They ripped it off and beat him to break open the leg. Unfortunately it was solid wood and it killed Aston.