Title listening versus speaking Duration : 15 mins Objective: Students will know how the advantages of listening well

l Warm up The trainer introduces herself and states the aim on the white board Presentation The trainer will introduce the topic differentiating between listening and speaking. She will then discuss the factors that affect listening and how to develop good listening habits. Controlled practice The trainer will have a group discussion about listening.

Hearing VS Listening

Hearing is passive and occurs even while we sleep Listening is active and involves hearing, paying attention, and understanding

What affects LISTENING?

Environmental Setting

Unless your meeting occurs in a vacuum, there will always be something else going on that competes for attention, eg., birds chirping outside the window, other people nearby having their own

conversations, the smell of cooked food. Because we receive information through touch, smell, taste, hearing, and sight, mentors and mentees must work hard to concentrate on their interaction; it is very easy to be overwhelmed by the environment. Also, the setting in which communication occurs can also affect listening. For instance, listening to the Backstreet Boys on a CD in your room just doesnt offer the same feel as listening to them at a Live concert! Message Source

We tend to listen attentively to some people while tuning out others. We tend to listen more attentively when the person is an authority figure, or someone we admire or respect. Physically attractive people also get our attention until we become distracted by the persons looks instead of concentrating on what theyre saying Message

Unusual, funny, and emotion-filled messages attract our attention. We also listen better when the message is about something we have an interest or liking for. For instance, a car mechanic will listen attentively to a speaker extolling the attributes of the new Mini, yet quickly zone out from a speaker talking about patchwork quilt-making. Listener

Our own attitudes can affect our listening. If we feel that we are superior to the person to whom we are listening (whether in financial status, educational attainment, or some other characteristic) we may find ourselves discounting what they say simply because I know more than they do. And, if we are racially intolerant, this will affect the way we communicate with others. Listening Habits

There are many bad habits that can affect our listening. Some of the most common bad habits include jumping to conclusions, being impatient and not waiting for speakers to finish their

sentences, and thinking of what we want to say next instead of listening. Making comparisons: trying to determine whos smarter, more skilful or talented or competent, or who has been more victimised Making guesses: Reading between the lines or guessing how the person would feel if you said what you intended to. Contemplation distracts from subtle cues being presented

Rehearsing:
mentally practising what you want to say rather than listening Selective attention: choosing what to listen to and what to ignore or discount Making judgements: wait until the entire message has been heard and evaluated before making judgements. Ask questions for further information if necessary Day-dreaming or Zoning out: occurs when we are bored or anxious about something Identifying: recognising your own similar experience then re-living it in your mind or sharing it, thus transferring attention from the original story-teller to self Sparring: Forcing the other person into a defensive posture. Also, the use of put-downs, sarcasm, playing devils advocate Jumping to advise: not waiting to hear the whole story before beginning to formulate your good advice thus missing crucial information Derailing: changing topics, or using a joke that might discount the persons concerns, thus cutting off discussion Mr Nice Guy: agreeing with everything, being supportive and pleasant

Developing Good Listening Skills

Focus physical & mental energies on listening Be alert and interested Try to avoid interrupting the speaker Watch for non-verbal cues Seek areas of agreement with the speaker Be patient. Listening is easier than speaking Provide clear and unambiguous feedback Minimise emotional responses. Emotions are distracting Ask questions and seek clarification Seek, then single out the key ideas, feelings etc Evaluate the message only when its complete Take notes, if necessary.