Documente Academic
Documente Profesional
Documente Cultură
Like all other Ivy League cluded serving as the dean of ad- sulted in an investigation by the
schools, Yale considers its repu- missions since 1998, Marilee Jones Dean of Undergraduate Education
tation first. President Richard C. resigned from her position, admit- and a representative from the MIT
Levin plans to set up two com- ting to having fabricated her edu- department of Human Resources.
mittees to assess the impact of cational credentials. Ironically, she Jones was made aware of the accu-
adding two new residential col- has written a book titled “Less sations brought against her in a
leges. One committee would be Stress, More Success,” in which meeting on April 20 and was asked
responsible for examining the she emphasizes the need for integ- to publicly resign. She admitted
impact of increased enrollment on rity and honesty. that she had “misrepresented her
Yale is considering adding more resi- Jones first started working at
the academic programs, while the credentials” and publicized her
dential colleges to its campus after
other committee would be re- MIT in 1979. She supposedly had resignation the next day. Jones
realizing how important it is to a
growing number of applicants. sponsible for examining the over- both master’s and bachelor’s de- released a statement to the commu-
all effects on the student body. grees from Albany Medical Col- nity at MIT saying she “did not
The question is: If Yale were to lege, Union College and Rensse-
by Richard Shyong, staff writer have the courage to correct her
add more colleges to its over- laer Polytechnic Institute. Accord- résumé.” The announcement of the
Yale, one of the most crowded campus, would the ef- ing to officials at issue was not made
prestigious Ivy League schools in fect on the school be positive? MIT, she did not
the country, is considering “We want to be certain that the possess degrees “I don't think that it until MIT had time
to prepare state-
expanding its student body. For a quality of the Yale college ex- from any of will alter my view of ments. According to
long time, Yale has considered perience would be maintained or these institutions the school as a MIT’s website, the
adding more residential colleges enhanced, and not diminished," or from any chancellor stated
to its campus. Only recently, wrote Levin in a letter to Yale other institution whole, but it cer-
that “it was very
however, has Yale realized just College’s dean. for that matter, tainly lowers my important for us to
how important this is as a Recent developments have and she did not
response to a growing number of even possess an
view of the admini- say exactly what
stration. happened and why
applicants, among other reasons. YALE continues on page 5 und er gr ad ua te we did it.” Stuart
degree. Accord- Schmill, who is cur-
COLLEGE NIGHT Raheel Anwar put it, “Overall, [it Anisha Kunnel
ing to the regis- rently the director of
Sophomore
continued from page 1 was] a necessary experience for trar at Rensselaer the Educational
every junior or even sophomore.” Polytechnic In- Council, has taken
An event like College Night Not only did College Night stitute, Jones had attended for one the place of Jones.
could not be put together without answer students’ questions, it also year, but had not earned a degree. In response to the news,
the help of the Parents’ Associa- opened up students’ eyes to dif- According to the Chancellor sophomore Anisha Kunnel said,
tion, especially College Committee ferent colleges. Some colleges of MIT, Phillip L. Clay, a college “The news certainly shocked me
cochairs Florrid Levy, Michelle that students may not have heard degree was most probably not re- because of the fact that it was so
Parker, Sherry Lin and Angela of set up shop in Stuyvesant’s quired to gain the secretarial job easy for her to get away with such
Wong. Many nights of hard work classrooms and distributed infor- that Jones held when she first came dishonesty at such a well-known
went into the preparations for the mation about themselves. As a to MIT. Upon being appointed and prestigious institution. I don’t
event, and many phone calls and result, students learned about col- admissions dean, she had been at think that it will alter my view of
connections had to be made. As leges that they never considered the institute for 19 years, so her the school as a whole, but it
Levy stated, “There were two before, expanding their options. credentials were never thoroughly certainly lowers my view of the
months of preparation, ordering While the event was a suc- reviewed. administration.”
items, coordination with school cess, there was still some room
personnel and organizing the small for improvement. One such im-
Source: http://www-tech.mit.edu/V127/N21/graphics/jones-00.html
career as a language teacher. She lived in Spain for almost a year undeveloped
YALE fied applicants that could have as American, students. ennial benefits” on New Haven’s
continued from page 3 contributed to the community. The addition of new colleges economy. This gives Yale Uni-
Moreover, part of Yale’s mission to the campus may not only be versity, as well as the New Haven
pushed this idea of expansion to a is to “embrace the education of beneficial to Yale, but could also community, another reason to
whole new level. In the past dec- leaders for the world, not simply help stimulate the local economy press forward with the expansion
ade, the number of applications to for the United States.” Increased in New Haven. Student expenses, idea. And this gives students an-
Yale has nearly doubled in size, enrollment would create more as well as the university’s, could other reason to apply to Yale —
forcing Yale to reject many quali- opportunities for foreign, as well very well have “positive and per- for those generations in the fu-
ture, of course.
OPINONS
by Emma Rabinovich, A&E Editor
America at Large Stop
Clearly, there is plenty of Bush due to the large number of
With the recent elections in
France and the upcoming
controversy here and lots to
argue, which is why even
Congress is so torn. The President
outcries that he is already too
U.S.-friendly. After all, a large
chunk of the reason that British
Apathy
resignation of British Prime wields the executive veto while voters have turned against their
Minister Tony Blair, I got to Congress controls his funds. once-beloved Prime Minister is by Priscilla Melo,
thinking: where are we opinions editor
Democrats, who won the last because of his support of the U.S.
(Americans) headed? These election by a narrow margin, now in Iraq and at least partly because
foreign shuffles are all occurring claim that the American public of his refusal to turn against There is something that makes
at a time of great political unrest has spoken and they want out. Israel along with many other me shiver and shout out loud with
within our own borders, with Not so fast, says President Bush, European leaders. unrelenting fury, something more
Americans becoming more and who, no longer seeking It’s still too soon to tell what deadly than racism, sexism and
more critical of the costly war in reelection, is unlikely to bend to America will vote for in 2008 but ignorance combined: apathy. The
Iraq. What will losing yet another the Democrats’ will. With enough judging by the public opinion, sad truth is that the American teen-
strong ally in Europe do for the su p po r t i n C on gr e s s (t he Americans want a better handle ager is proud to be apathetic in
already crumbling public morale? Democrats’ victory wasn’t really on the crisis. Unfortunately, the issues that are truly important, and
While many comparisons a “mandate” so much as a nod) Democrats seem unable and the this is most certainly evident in
have been drawn between the Bush continues to push forward Republicans seem unwilling. Stuyvesant High School. Of
wars in Iraq and Vietnam, there is with his plans in Iraq. Hilary Clinton’s solution, for ex- course, as with any statement,
one key difference that will Enter: the rest of the world. ample, is for Bush to finish the there are exceptions — those few
probably keep us firmly planted At this point, America carries a nightmare off during his term in passionate souls that talk about
on that side of the globe: terror- huge burden. Russia continues to office so that the mess isn’t left to and, most importantly, act on is-
ism. President Bush’s critics like try its hardest to jumpstart Cold his successor. To be honest, I’ve sues that they find crucial, like the
to point out that our entry into War II (thank you, President only heard one of her speeches environment, poverty, education or
Iraq was unjustified and although Putin). France still wants nothing but that was enough to leave me even the lack of art in many chil-
that is a point worth debating the to do with Bush and the British wanting less. The Republican dren’s lives.
initial reason is no longer impor- people seem eager to throw Labor Party is torn between solidarity, Yet there is still the horde of
tant after almost four years of Party (Tony Blair’s party) out and which has so far been pulling students who amble on, with no
war. Unlike Vietnam, Iraq has bring in some doves. through, and winning the next thoughts or worries reaching far-
become a breeding ground for America dodged a bullet with election, and the two seem ther than that 80 they received in
dangerous international terrorist Sarkozy’s victory in France, but unlikely to go hand in hand. Spanish or the new Pokémon Dia-
groups that not only pose a threat while he is far more pro-America Meanwhile, the economy has not mond in their shiny Nintendo DS.
to our safety, but also anyone and than his opponent for the been very strong with the federal They are the ones that have let
everyone else who dares to chal- presidency, Ms. Segolene Royal government struggling to keep genocides occur and let the Hud-
lenge their tyrannical rule of parts — she once told a Hezbollah inflation down, while issues on son River become filthier every
of the Middle East. Then there leader that she agreed with his everything from abortion to gay passing day. They did not directly
are, of course, the innocent civil- comments about the “unlimited rights throw more variables into do these things, we hope. But by
ians who are caught in the cross- dementia” of the Bush the 2008 election. So, where are not acting, by letting the world
hairs. What would become of administration — he is also we headed? For another historical around them continue in its less-
them if the only real peacekeep- careful not to get too cuddly with clash at the polls. than-acceptable way, they have
ing force packed its things and
left? APATHY continues on page 7
SCIENCE
Bees: Honey is the Least of Our Problem
by Omar Ahmad,
Source: CNN
ready extraterrestrial life existing know it requires the presence of
continued from page 1 on this planet?” liquid water.
According to some astrobiolo- As scientists continue to look
at La Silla, Chile. gists, scientists who study extrater- into this planet, more and more
This new planet has some restrial life, this new planet actu- people wonder if humans can one
qualities that make it highly likely ally lies in the Goldilocks Zone. day live on this new planet. Of
that it is like the Earth. For exam- This zone is given this name be- course that would be hard, consid-
ple, Gliese 581c is a reasonable cause it refers to the fact that the ering that this planet is 20.5 light-
distance from the sun, allowing its climate of this planet is “just right” years away. However, that doesn’t
temperature to fluctuate from 32 to for water to be present in the liquid mean that the discovery of this
104 degrees Fahrenheit. Above all, form. Up to now, we have only planet is worthless. As one scien- Stunned European explorers have
scientists have discovered that this known of one planet that lies in tist, Xavier Delfosse, said, “On the found one of the smallest planets
planet, just like Earth, is capable of this zone — Earth. It is considered treasure map of the Universe, one known outside our solar system, an
containing water. From here the important to find planets within the would be tempted to mark this Earth-like planet 50 light years away.
basic question arises, “Is there al- Goldilocks Zone, since life as we planet with an X.”
BEES continued from page 7 is believed that the navigation ies would most likely be sur- harmful to our insect friends. Even
problems may be the only cause rounding the queen bee, who is so, that would not sufficiently ex-
trace. There were no remains or that fits the disappearance of the the center of the colony. plain the disappearances of the
body specimens, creating more of worker bees, and the behavioral Another reason, though less bodies of such organisms.
a puzzle for scientists to figure aspects may have been the cause likely than the prior ones, is that There is still much research to
out. for faulty navigation. There could cell phone use may be responsible be done in this field of science, and
The main hypothesis for the not have been a physical threat to for insect deaths. It is believed that hopefully, there will be a clear
cause of this horrible occurrence these bees, or else the bodies the signals and sound waves emit- reason soon. Otherwise — well,
is the orientation of behavior and would have been found. The bod- ted from cellular phones can be you can fill in the blanks…
navigation of the worker bees. It
BUSNIESS
Corporations Step Up MTA Develops Large Tract
to Green Economics of Land in Manhattan
by Hanford Chiu, business interest in building a park and a
by Hanford Chiu, business influence grows, however, other editor museum over the High Line, or
editor environmental groups are con- otherwise preserve it if it does not
cerned that corporations are just The MTA began seeking bids impact the revenue from the sale.
The United States Climate hiding behind its name to avoid from developers on May 8, hoping Other problems include zoning,
Action Partnership is a coalition of having to take real measures to to turn a vast 26-acre tract of a as the western tract has not yet
business entities and environ- save the environment. General Manhattan rail yard into some been zoned for building yet,
mental groups that supports the Motors in particular was both criti- quick revenue for projects and while the eastern tract is zoned
view that global warming exists cized and praised for joining US- improvements by selling off parts for mixed usage. Furthermore, the
and that greenhouse gas emissions CAP. “I think [General Motors] is of the land for development. The MTA has stated that it will not
must be reduced in order to pre- trying to hide behind their partici- MTA hopes to attract top bids, sell its adjacent Hudson Rail
vent global warming and save the pation and pretend they are behind which are appraised at over $1.3 Yards, where it stores and
environment. The partnership has reducing global warming,” said billion, for a large area of land in a maintains its trains, which would
already garnered much support force developers to build a
CORPORATIONS borough where space is limited
from corporations and has mem- and the wholesale selling of land is platform over the rail yards, a
continues on page 9
bers such as General Electric, Pep- rare. project which would cost over
siCo, military supplier Caterpillar However, there is a lot of $400 million.
Source: Wikipedia
Inc., and oil producer ConocoPhil- controversy over this plot of land The sale of this land comes
lips. Recently, in a gesture of co- that must be resolved before the at a time when the MTA wants to
operation, General Motors Corp. MTA can let go of it. The tract of upgrade its outdated system and
entered the league of corporations land itself, with its western half also expand its subway lines’
as the first automaker to join such from Eleventh Avenue to Twelfth reach as well. Mayor Bloomberg
a group. As a major producer of Avenue and its eastern half from
greenhouse gases both directly Eleventh Avenue to Tenth Avenue,
through factory waste byproducts was the proposed site for New 7 TRAIN
and indirectly through the sale of York’s Olympic Stadium until the continues on page 9
gas-guzzling cars, automakers are state government defeated Mayor
a big target for the USCAP in its Bloomberg’s efforts to buy the
efforts to reduce greenhouse gas land for $300 million.
emissions. It is surprising and re- Nowadays, the endeavor is
freshing that the major contributors being protested by advocates of
to greenhouse gases have joined all kinds, ranging from those who
the coalition’s efforts to seek out want parks and open spaces built
government intervention by means to those who demand affordable
of mandatory greenhouse gas re- American International Group Inc., a
housing units. Others want to
ductions and an emissions cap al- major American insurance corpora-
tion, is one of the many in a diverse protect the High Line, which is a
lowance system that allows corpo- stretch of abandoned outdoor
group of business and environmental
rations to trade emissions “credits” leaders that want to enact strong na- subway tracks converted into an
in order to exceed the cap. tional legislation to reduce greenhouse impromptu park and public space.
As USCAP expands and its The older 7 train, as seen from 33
gas emissions MTA officials have stated their Street.
A&E MAY 22, 2007—VOL. 6, No. 14 THE STUYVESANT STANDARD 9
CORPORATIONS recent phenomenon of green eco- 7 TRAIN
continued from page 8 nomics, in which the economy is continued from page 8
considered to be dependent on the
Dan Becker, director of Sierra state of the environment and that has already allocated over $2
Club’s global warming program, in the impact on the environment, billion to the MTA for the
an interview with the Associated humans, animals and everything purpose of extending the 7 train
Press. “It’s better than deepening else. must be taken into considera- line to its west midtown site.
global warming, which GM has as tion before any transactions. By Furthermore, the MTA wants to
a brand, but it isn’t going to save a recognizing the interconnections expand the 2 train line and build
gram of carbon because they are between the planet and the econ- new tunnels in various places. It
not cleaning up the vehicles,” he omy, ecological damage by over- wants to update its trains and
said. Nevertheless, GM has stated expansion and activity can be improve station security as well
that it will develop new green tech- curbed to provide for a stable long- as the general condition of the
nology and reduce emissions. term economy based on Earth’s subway system.
USCAP is an example of the finite space and finite amount of The map of the 7 train, from Main
resources. Street to Times Square.
ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT
Benny Hill: Video Game Review:Pokémon
World’s Funniest Clown Diamond Version and Pearl
by Tasso Bountouvas, staff
Source: www.cwtv.com
became so popular that he was held system since greats like Ad-
writer voted television personality of the vance Wars or Tetris. Yes, that’s
year for 1954. But this was just right, you heard correctly. These
“I'm not against half naked girls - the beginning of a memorable two small games are masterpieces
career. of immersion, strategy, and replay-
not as often as I'd like to be.”
Hill was able to show the ability — a far cry from their
The above joke by Benny
viewing audience all of his talents primitive Game Boy Color breth-
Hill, although not completely
when he got the chance at his ren.
true, is just one of the many ideas
own show. “The Benny Hill “What makes Pokémon D&P
that brought laughter to England
Show” premiered in 1955 on different than the versions I’ve
and to most of the world.
BBC and lasted until 1968. The played before?” you may ask. For
Although he is not as popular
show was then reproduced for one, the number of Pokémon has
today as he once was, many The recently released Pokemon Dia-
Thames television and lasted increased from 151 to 493. Do
adults will probably remember mond games.
from 1969 to 1989. The main not attempt to adjust your
“The Benny Hill Show” starring
elements of the show were by Jonathan Xikis, columnist viewing position, for that number
“Hill’s Angels” and the “world’s
basically silent comedy sketches; is completely correct. This game
funniest clown,” Benny Hill. When you think of
comic characters, including Fred packs a whopping five hundred
Hill’s comedic genius is rare and “Pokémon,” a.k.a. “Pocket Mon-
Scuttle; and many comical battling monsters into one
should be noticed. sters,” you might recall memories
innuendo-filled songs. Although cartridge, each with its own
Benny Hill was born Alfred of little kids trading their cards, or
some jokes were repeated on strengths, weaknesses and moves.
Hawthorne Hill in Southampton, childish cartoons featuring the
several episodes, especially the There are 18 types, which can be
England on January 21, 1924. He dreaded 10-year-old Ash and his
best ones, they were always as combined in any number of ways
loved entertainment at a very annoying yellow mouse. You
funny as they were the first time. to give Pokémon unique abilities.
young age; at 16, he went to Lon- might even remember playing
In 1971, Benny Hill’s song Ernie D&P mark the return of Pokémon
don to pursue a career in enter- Pokémon Red or Blue 10 years ago
tainment and comedy. His televi-
(The Fastest Milkman in the animations, as well as day and
West) became a number one hit. — or perhaps you might single- night system from Gold and
sion debut began in 1941, when mindedly think: “Pokémon? That’s
By 1980, the show also included Silver. The music and ambiance
he first used his stage name, for babies. I’ve outgrown that.” If
“Hills’s Angels” — a group of of the different regions is superb.
Benny Hill. His comedic tech- so, what you are about to witness
very tall, thin young ladies who To top it off, all buildings are
niques seemed fresh and he may shock, or even terrify you.
brought a feeling of true enjoy-
BENNY HILL Pokémon Diamond and Pearl are POKEMON
ment to the viewing audience. He
continues on page 10 some of the best games for a hand- continues on page 10
Spidey’s Back
by Robert Colbourn, staff writer movie not only contains the same villain is his best friend’s father, things start spiraling out of control.
ones, but adds more to its Norman Osborn (William Dafoe). While out on a date with his
Well, our favorite wall crawler repertoire. Its combination of Of course, Spiderman triumphs Mary-Jane, a meteorite crashes
is back on the big screen in terrible casting and unimaginative and Osborn is killed. This kind of and releases a strange pitch-black
“Spiderman 3,” capping off the plot made it a chore to watch. puts a damper on Peter’s friend- substance that attaches itself to
trilogy. From the beginning, The first two films revolve ship with Harry Osborn, Norman’s Peter in his sleep, causing him to
people were quite taken with it, around Peter Parker’s (Tobey son. By the third film, however, attain a black costume that
and this became possibly the most Maguire) hope to find a balance in Peter seems to have it all figured enhances his abilities. He later
anticipated movie in 2007. his life. After he is bitten by a ge- out. The city loves Spiderman, he learns from his professor, Dr.
However, as the movie came into netically enhanced spider, he is plans to propose to the love of his Curt Conners (Dylan Baker), that
theaters, it was apparent that while given the attributes of that spider, life, Mary-Jane Watson (Kirsten
many will see it, few will leave allowing him to become a super- Dunst), and he remains at the top
satisfied. The previous two movies hero. In the first movie, his leading of his class at his college. Yet SPIDERMAN
had enormous problems, and this continues on page 10
10 THE STUYVESANT STANDARD MAY 22, 2007—VOL. 6, No. 14 A&E
SPIDERMAN there were too few of those mo- POKEMON used across several generations to
continued from page 9 ments. It simply isn’t enough to continued from page 9 give your baby Pokémon unique
save this movie from being a “egg moves.” Too complicated for
it is actually a “symbiote” that complete waste of time. It seems rendered in jaw-dropping 2.5D, you? And you thought Pokémon
raises aggression in its host. that many didn’t think that, how- and perspective is used to great was child’s play.
Despite that, Peter decides to use ever, because “Spider-Man 3” effect. There is one more major Not all is well in the Pokémon
it to track down his uncle’s killer made box office history during its aspect of D&P that has been world, however. A few problems
(Thomas Haden Church), who opening weekend. It made the brilliantly implemented — Wi-Fi. intrude into an otherwise enjoyable
had his particles bonded to those highest daily gross on its opening If gaining the ability to battle gameplay experience. Besides the
o f s a n d . T h e h e i gh t e n e d day, highest grossing opening people across the globe doesn’t minor annoyances, like the com-
aggression in Peter makes him weekend, fastest to grossing 100 tickle your fancy, there is even a plete non-utilization of the shoulder
complicate things with Mary-Jane million and the greatest IMAX “Global Trading Center.” Now, it buttons and the continued lack of a
and Harry, who is seeking debut. This is expected, consider- is truly possible to catch ‘em all deep plot, two major problems ex-
vengeance for his father’s death. ing the huge fan-base that on one game cartridge. ist. One is the rehashed formula
In addition to all of this, he has to spawned since the first movie. If you are still not convinced (little kid starts in quaint town,
deal with a rivalry with a new This is further proof that no mat- that this game is strategic enough, destroys entire criminal syndicate,
photographer at the Bugle, Eddie ter how much a movie may make let me introduce you to my little saves world, becomes Champion).
Brock (Topher Grace). at the box office, it isn’t necessar- friends: IVs, EVs, natures and The creators of the Pokémon games
The plot, to begin with, has ily good. breeding. An advanced have taken the saying “if it works,
too many villains, so none of Source: Entertainment Weekly
knowledge of these features is don’t fix it” a bit too seriously.
them were given any justice. The essential for competitive battling. Second, an influx of hackers has
villain that had the most character IVs, or individual values, are like made online play dangerous. There
development is Eddie (a.k.a. a Pokémon’s DNA, determining are thousands of punk kids who
Venom), and still he has way too its base stats, such as Attack and don’t think twice about picking up
little screen time. Defense. EVs, or effort values, an Action Replay cheating device
The only aspect of this movie are gained through battle, and by and trying to illegally catch other
that can be positive is the use of “EV-training” your Pokémon, battlers’ Pokémon or trading
CGI and special effects. The sym- you can pinpoint specific glitched ones. Although these
bi o t e i s d o ne bea u t i fu ll y statistical increases. Natures events are rare, they do happen,
(although it always looks suspi- determine a Pokémon’s and Nintendo’s lax enforcement of
ciously like tar), as well as the personality, further affecting stat the rules has exacerbated the prob-
visuals for Venom and Sandman. growths, and breeding can be lem.
Its action is not amazing, but it
does have high points. There "Spider-man 3" starring Tobey Maguire,
were many tense moments that Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Topher
Grace, and Rosemary Harris, broke box
kept people at the edge of their office records on its opening day by gross-
seats at times, but unfortunately ing an estimated $59 million.
BENNY HILL
Blockbusters Galore
by Nouisin Haque, staff writer O c e a n ’ s 1 3 “afro,” and other simple designs,
continued from page 9
participated in sketches, usually
For the less magically enthused, Simpsons fans have more than half-naked, and danced to music
This summer promises to be the “Ocean’s 13” is coming out this Channel 5 to look forward to this of the time.
most commercially successful ever summer as well. George Clooney summer. The Simpsons movie is The combination of “Hill’s
with predictions that it will easily and director Steven Soderbergh coming out on July 27. The pro- Angels” and the great sketches
make its wa y into the record make a comeback after the 2004 ducers of the first animated family and songs of Benny Hill created a
books. Here’s why. sequel to “Ocean’s 11.” Critics ever have kept their mouths shut show that not only lasted for over
did not like the film, as the acting and have not yielded anything. Nor 30 years, but also became famous
Harry Potter and the Order of was said to be lazy and childish. have the cartoonists said what is to around the world. In fact, his tele-
t h e P h o e n i x Clooney admits that the last come with the constant “d’oh.” We vision shows have been sold in at
Harry Potter and his friends are movie was not comparable to the are leftt with only what we can least 109 other countries. One
back with the fifth year of first. New cast member Ellen decipher from the trailers. television biography about Hill is
Hogwarts in the life of the Boy Barkin has not revealed titled “Benny Hill: The World’s
Who Lived. While most of us what the new plot will Funniest Clown,” a title that per-
Pirates of the Carib-
know what to expect in the be, but Matt Damon let fectly fits.
bean: At World's End
movie, for those select few who the much-awaited The Pirates are coming Hill died from a heart attack
don’t, here are some things to information out. back earlier this time, on August 18, 1992. Just a year
look forward to are: Harry loses According to him, Al with only one year since before, he had won an award that,
someone very dear to him, the Pacino is back to being the last movie. If there is since he loved silent comedy,
Defense Against the Dark Arts the Vegas guy who now anything to remember meant the world to him — the
teacher will make your blood boil is building the best hotel from the last movie, it’s Charlie Chaplin International
(supposedly, Imelda Staunton’s ever. But, in the process, that Davy Jones is scarily Award for Comedy at the 1991
portrayal is awesome), new he neglects to give Elliot realistic in a funny way. Festival of Comedy in Vevey,
villains, new romances, and a few Gould, another new "Pirates of the Caribbean: Those tentacles in his Switzerland. Hill was the first
other surprises. In previous cases, character, his share of At World's End" is due to face wiggle in all the British comedian to achieve fame
the release date for the books and come out on May 25, 2007
money. As it is a revenge starring Johnny Depp, right ways, and play the through television. He is truly a
the movies were at least four plot, the group gets back Orlando Bloom, and Keira organ. Bill Nighy’s landmark in television history and
months apart; this year, however, together to make sure Knightley. voice adds vice every should be acknowledged for it.
the movie comes out on July 13, that Al Pacino does not time he is on screen.
Source: bbb.co.uk
PUZZLES&LITERARY
Seniors Beware! by Robert Stevenson
Protector From an
Absent Enemy
by Amna Ahmad, literary editor
No defined word nor scripture had defined such an end
To little boys playing soccer in the streets, posing no threat
As tanks rolled heedlessly by
Playing the role of Protector
Defender of people of undeserving privilege
From feeble natives that are inferior
And dare not question their complicity
In the struggle for a land to bury their dead ones
Nor do they think twice to lower their gaze onto the ground
That they would kiss had they owned it
A man was found dead one Sunday morning. His wife and staff were questioned, and these were their alibis: The wife Drafted by
said she was reading a book in bed. The cook said he was making breakfast. The gardener said he was planting flowers. the Detroit
Lions, former
The maid said she was getting the mail. The butler said he was dusting the glassware. The police instantly arrested the Georgia Tech
murderer. Who did they arrest, and how did they know he/she was the culprit? Wide Re-
ceiver Calvin
Johnson
A horse working at a mill travels the same distance every day. For some reason, two of its legs travel 30 miles per day, stands with
while the other two legs travel nearly 31. It can't be that two of the horse's legs are a mile ahead of the other two. Since Commis-
this horse is an anatomically correct horse, how is this possible? sioner Roger
Goodell in
For answers, see our website, www.stuystandard.org. New York.
Riddles by Jeffery Liaw, Puzzle Columnist, and Lillian Su, staff writer.
12 THE STUYVESANT STANDARD MAY 22, 2007—VOL. 6, No. 14 SPORTS
SPORTS
The Sports Beat: Forgive Me, A-Rod
by Eric Mayo, managing editor tently count on throughout the pletely. probably opt out of your contract
month of April. Derek Jeter made Now, you’ll have help. at the end of the year and engage
Forgiving someone is an uncharacteristic six errors. Phil Hughes proved with his no-hit the Yankees in a bidding war with
such a hard thing to do. It means Every Yankee pitcher wanted to do outing against Texas that he de- the Red Sox so you can make even
admitting that you were wrong and their best impression of Carl serves a spot in the Yankee rota-
someone else was right. It subjects A-ROD continues on page 11
Pavano, who coincidentally I was tion once he comes back from his
you to ridicule from everyone. only off by eight days on his latest hamstring injury. Your pitching
However, sometimes it must be injury. Those starters that weren’t staff will get “the rocket”, Roger
done. With that in mind, Alex
Source: Reuters
injured, like Kei Igawa, made Hi- Clemens, who signed a one-year
Rodriguez, please forgive me. deki Irabu look like Nolan Ryan. deal May 6. He’ll be able to help
Forgive me about writing Joe Torre was about to be fired. you out personally as well. Few
about how to boo you (Issue 1). Yet, through it all, you were there, people remember that before
Forgive me about calling you over- leading your team every step of the Clemens came to New York, he
paid (Issue 4). Forgive me for be- way. had the same things said about him
ing angry when I got “stuck” with You won the player of the that people say about you now.
you in my fantasy baseball draft month award in April, hitting .355 Great player who can’t win under
this year. Forgive me for blaming with 14 homers and 35 RBI. You pressure. He quickly changed that
you for every problem the Yankees had a stretch where you had not by winning two World Series.
have had since you arrived. Where only a hitting streak but an extra- We still shouldn’t feel
would these current Yankees be base hit streak. Most importantly, completely sorry for you. You’re
without you? you won two games with 9th inning still making over $25 million dol-
As amazing as it might homeruns that helped keep the lars this year, making you the rich-
seem, A-Rod was about the only Yankees from falling apart com- est player in baseball. You’ll Alex Rodriguez is widely regarded as one of
thing the Yankees could consis- the best players in the history of the game.