BOSGEEST IN MIJN HOOFD (De Engelse vertaling) SYNOPSIS 'TROLL IN MY HEAD' A NaNoWriMo 2013 (National Novel Writing Month

2013)novel In this gothic novel, 40 -year old Amsterdam filmmaker Ishtar da Costa believes that a curse was put upon her by the sinister Aiya Bosscha, this to make her pay for the chatter of the now washedup, but once celebrated 65 year-old cameraman Teun Yperlaan. Is Ishtar's depression clouding her mind, making her judgement and stories unreliable? Or is there indeed an evil power coming from the unattractive, clownish Aiya that causes her mental and physical health to spiral down, through the weak and spineless, but not less manipulative Teun whoas Ishtar feels - is also playing his share of mind games? The ordeal starts seemingly innocent, with a reunion. When seeing each other again after a fall out of 14 years, unsolicited Teun tells Ishtar very personal details about his passionless, platonic, asexual LAT-symbiosis with Aiya, a 50 -year-old woman he met years ago when he was looking for Reiki Healing therapy. He explains that after a few years of treating him, Aiya let him know that she had feelings for him and Teun finally went in to her advances, 'even though I wasn't too wild about her nor thought of her as a worldclass woman'. Ishtar herself has been happily married for almost 10 years with Marin, an ICT expert, her solid rock in life, however, not aware of Ishtars depression and attempted suicide of thirteen years ago. Due to circumstances and coincidence, Teun learns about Ishtar's secret long before Marin. And since her husband is often abroad for work, out of boredom Ishtar exchanges mailings and text messages with the old cameraman. Teun tells her about his frustrations regarding the renovation of his house in Friesland (all the way up in the North of The Netherlands), the collapse of his career, his daughter whom he loves deeply, as well as his frustrations about the broken relationship with the mother of his child, latter being the reason he was depressed and seeked salvation in Reiki Healing therapy. Ishtar in turn, pours out her heart to Teun about her frustrations as a filmmaker fighting the established cultural elite who does not want to fund her films. The documentary about 'The Prostitute and The Lawyer' she finished with the help of Teun - has left her very emotionally exhausted due to all the rejections by grant funds and broadcasters, over the many years time it took to complete. Now that the film is going to an end, she feels a looming black hole . And so Ishtar becomes more sympathetic towards Teun. Fourteen years ago - when she first worked with him only to lose sight of him after they had some sort of fall out - she thought of him as an arrogant figure who was too aware of his status. But now he gives her the impression of someone beaten by life and that makes her melancholic and sad. Financially he did not do well and his Frisian property, which he unsuccessfully tries to renovate for years is hardly habitable for the coming winter. That makes him dependent on the small rent-stabilized social housing Amsterdam apartment of Aiya . Out of compassion Ishtar decides to involve this cameraman - who is so obviously bored and looking for one last chance to shine - in her new film plans. She wants to make a documentary on the tragic singer Curtis Nelson, to unraffle the story and the truth behind the authorship of his sensual soul classic ' Erection Connection'.

Then Ishtar finally comes face to face with Aiya, the woman about whom she has heard so many personal things. She is amazed by her unattractiveness. Also because Teun - incidentally himself rather unkempt - is someone who often comments the appearance of women with a critical eye. Strange that he apparently has no trouble with the rather clownish, mismatched appearance of this Aiya . Second, she feels a strange energy coming from this woman. And her alarm bells go off when Teun tells her Aiya has magical powers. Aiya claims she can feel the pain in Teun's foot - despite several MRI scans doctors can not figure out what is the matter with it. With her psychic powers Aiya gives Teun - who limps a litte - temporary pain relief. Then Ishtar leaves with Teun to the Wadden Islands, in the North of The Netherlands. She wants to track down the people who have known Curtis Nelson when he stayed there 30 years ago to get rid of his drug addiction and wrote the soul classic hit song "Erection Connection". But everything that could go wrong went wrong. One of the cameras goes defunct for unclear reason. And Teun makes major technical errors while shooting the scenes. And the journey did not begin good. Just before leaving for the islands, Teun had to stop at the home of Aiya to clean the kitty litter box. And during their stay on the islands Aiya made sure to show her presence, by sending pictures of the cat to Teuns iPhone. In the months that follow Ishtar gets involved in heated arguments with Teun. After all, her patience with him is running out, while she is feeling more and more sick and sucked out. Every time she wants to mention she feels not well and thinks a strange energy is coming from Aiya - even if she had seen the woman only a couple of times- Teun breaks off the discussion. And in the mean time he changes his stories about Aiya 180 degrees, rather peculiar since Ishtar had to listen to many disloyal, unflattering revelations about this strange woman for months. Ishtar is puzzled by Teun's changing behaviour. Has he been lying all the time or has he come to his senses? Realizing he should not bite the hand that literally feeds him and also pays his parking license in Amsterdam, 'because that way she is sure I will visit her'. After all, Aiya - even if going unemployed in the mean time - says that Teun is always welcome in her small social housing apartment. Very much needed because his property in Friesland, seems more and more like a bad buy and dramatic financial debacle. After their umpteenth heated argument, Teun cries out that he has enough of Ishtars accusations against Aiya. Now he says that he does feel affection for Aiya and that she is the person in his life who understands and knows him best, together with other family members. The latter does make Ishtar realize the following. In addition to his limping foot, Teun is flawed also in social terms. She only heard him about his family and though he has many acquaintances, she has never heard him mention really good friends nor a best friend. Probably the sketchy Aiya Bosscha - now by Ishtar labeled as troll- comes closest to a BFF, a best friend forever. And naturally, indeed Aiya thoroughly knows and understands him and also got wind of what hurtful, loyal little details Teun told about her to Ishtar. Such as her deprived sexual state. Such as "There is no passion. We are pals". Such as "I really do not want to have sex with her." Such as "I see her naked sometimes, but I do not like the sight of it." Such as "She has no sex appeal". Such as "I have a problem to be seen as a couple with her". And then Ishtar understands why Teun told such private details about Aiya to her: because he simply does not have good friends with whom he can share it . But Glenn, Ishtars Surinamese friend, someone with psychic experiences whose counsel she seeks in desperation- that while her husband Marin still knows nothing about her torment - has a different theory. "That guy just wanted to fuck you girl! That's why he told you that he does not have sex with that

woman! How come you did not see that? ," says Glenn. Ishtar is sensitive to Glenn's comment. Did Aiya also see through Teun and brought her to the conclusion that he wanted to fuck Ishtar? And for that reason she spoke out a spell on Ishtar? After all, there are a string of strange coincidences and mysterious dreams that haunt Ishtar, while her mental health gradually begins to suffer, bringing her right back to the depression. Ishtar gets gradually convinced that the sexually deprived Aiya has put a curse on Ishtars film plans on Curtis Nelson's shameless ode to sex and carnal lusts. The ultimate revenge of a 50 -year-old woman who hasn't had any for 8 years and not by choice and not because Teun is impotent. Before he regretted all his blabbing to Ishtar, Teun confessed how he lied to Aiya about having no sexual drive anymore. "But I did not tell her that I had much better sex with others!", he laughed after spilling these details to Ishtar. Ishtars initial feelings of friendship and affection for Teun gradually evolve into hate. The Curtis Nelson film she was so passionate about, turns into an outright fiasco. And the blabbing old cameraman Teun does not believe that Aiya - the woman who in Ishtars opinion bewitched him into a joyless commitment and helped his career collapse - is the cause. One night after another mail war with Teun, Ishtar realizes that she should tell it all to her husband Marin. About how Teun and that troll Aiya ruin her life. Marin laughs at Ishtars superstition, but respects it as something that torments her . And all the affection and sympathy she once felt for Teun is gone, especially considering his last email to her - a reaction to her announcement that she would confess everything to Marin. Between the lines Teun seems to show blackmail-intentions. With the threat of forwarding the hate mails she sent him to others, so that everyone can see she is an insane person with a vivid imagination. Teun also made the sadistic remark that he would discuss her with Aiya the troll, while he knows very well how much Ishtar feels threatened by this sinister figure. Under Marin's watchful eye Ishtar performs various rituals. Notes with the names ' Teun Yperlaan ' and ' Aiya Bosscha ' are both burned and frozen. And she sends a mailing to her family and closest friends in which she tells the story about the anonymous Babbler and a Troll and how her life is now decided by torment and depression. The reaction of some people set her down, but her most loved ones show sympathy and even give her tips about rituals to fight off the demons . And yet, weeks after the mailing, the troll is still in her head, haunting her. Again she hides her inner torment for Marin, just as she hid her suicide attempt for him for years . Eventually Ishtar comes to a decision. She must and will find out how Aiya can make her feel so sick. Even if it will cost her life, the truth must be identified and the troll must leave her head . The first step is to investigate. The ex-wife of Teun, the mother of his daughter. And also the Aruban woman he boasted to have had great sex with, while telling Aiya he did not have the drive to get it up anymore. How are these women doing? The jealous sexually deprived Aiya gave Ishtar the Evil Eye to make her feel sick again and also torpedoed her plans for a documentary about Erection Connection. That while Ishtar never had anything sexual going on with Teun, who is not even her type at all. Could it be that Aiya the troll has messed up the lives of the other women, with whom Teun did have a sexual relationship, as well? And what is it with the Teun 's foot, which according to him felt broken, while there was nothing to be seen on the MRI scan?

"That Reiki Healing can be addictive girl , her Surinamese friend Glenn told her . "That way that woman could have tied him to her". Teun did say that Aiya eased his foot pain with her Reiki Healing . And werent those not Teuns own words? " I get increasingly disturbed. My foot reflects my insides". Ishtar is determined. She will delve into the esoteric, with all the risks that entails. She will beat Aiya the troll. And ultimately Teun, whose motives seem more and more impure to her.