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PRSRT STD WOMEN’S MAGAZINE Boulder & Broomfield Counties edition
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BOULDER, CO
July 2009
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Before After Before After
Cover story
24
Independence:
Women’s
Magazine advisory One local woman
group
Francie Anhut, claims her
Impact on
Education independence
Janet Beardsley,
YWCA of Boulder
through sensuality
County
Jan Berg, Boulder
Chamber of
Commerce
Heather Drake,
FlatIron Crossing
Mall
Ilene Dubey, Dubey More on independence
Marketing
08 Girl Talk: Readers share what they think an independent woman is.
Benita A. Duran,
community leader 14 Local women “pioneers” who crashed through glass ceilings.
Jennifer Kerr, 21 Nature’s Medicine: Three herbs to make you strong and independent.
Broomfield
Chamber of 31 Colleen Conant pays tribute to four women who show different kinds of independence.
Commerce
37 Eco-Diva: Find fashion independence the second time around.
Beth Krodel,
Insight Designs 40 Living with cancer: How cancer transformed one woman’s definition of independence.
Christine Labozan, 42 Dating columnist, Leah Charney, writes about life, liberty and the pursuit of fancy panties.
Superior Chamber
Board of Directors
Margaret Miner, From the cover
Rags Consignments 10 Wired Women: 50 and on Facebook
and ten20 Spa
Dana Culberson,
16 Expressing your true self in the garden
JJWells and Besos 40 Twists of Fate: A young pregnancy changes expectations
Libby Niemi, Prairie
Mountain Publishing Featured columnists for July
Donna Phelper,
Timberline Furniture WOMEN’S MAGAZINE
During
After
Before
After
T h e u l t i m at e C o l o r ad o Vac a t i o n
i s j u s t 4 0 m i n u t e s f r o m B o u l d e r,
j u s t b e l o w t h e C o n t i n e n t al D i v i d e !
(303) 747-2881
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— Erika Stutzman
— Aimee erika@womensmag.com
aimee@womensmag.com
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& Cosmetic Dentistry
on Facebook
After accepting
the guy-from-the-
th
good-old-day’s
go
Facebook invite,
Fa
I started getting
O
all sorts of friend
al
n July 7, Women’s Magazine is launching a requests. I’m pretty
re
new and improved Web site. Don’t miss www. sure a couple of
su
womensmag.com for blogs, photo galleries, new them used to bully
th
videos and links to all of our stories online. me a bit. So does
the excitement of
th
Follow us on Twitter: finding someone
fi
www.twitter.com/womensmag. from their past
fr
Be our Myspace friend: trump what they
tr
www.myspace.com/womensmag. actually did to that
ac
T
person?
pe
urning 50 on Facebook scares me more than As a kid and
co-ed dodgeball in junior high ever did. The author, in the seventh grade
teenager, I wasn’t
Don’t get me wrong, I could take the physically bullied a lot but I did get my fair share of
faceplants and cover for the sissy girls. I grew up in a male- revilement. We moved around a lot. My dad was climbing
centric household with a Boston-Irish dad who was taller the corporate ladder while germinating his nuclear family.
than Frankenstein’s monster and could be scarier than “The I recall the first day at my new junior high. I wore shocking
Creature from the Black Lagoon.” pink hot pants and some shrimp called me a “slut.” I didn’t
I was a scrappy kid, lanky and loquacious. I chewed gum know the meaning of the word and was too afraid and
off the sidewalk. I ding-dong-ditched neighbors and crank- embarrassed to ask my mom what he meant. From that day
called friends. At show-and-tell, I told the longest stories, on, the slut guy and his buddies set me in their sights every
often using non-verbals to heighten my drama; “And then he now and again for a good verbal bulldozing. I quit choir that
choked me like this.” In choir, I sang with my head thrown year.
back, mouth wide open. (“I can always hear you best,” mom As I stare at my Facebook friend requests and their
said.) profiles, my brain clatters through memories, searching for
Still, Facebook at 50 scares me. You never know who’s the younger version of the face, the voice, the insult, any
going to crawl out of cyberspace and ask to be your friend. clue that could help me remember who these people are.
I logged on to Facebook for the first time a couple of As I gawk at the thumbnail of a man on a mountain bike, I
years ago to join a political candidate’s group. Nothing much wonder if he is slut guy. I pull my magnifying glass out for a
happened with that social networking effort, so my profile better peak. I reach down to rub my burning bunions. I stop
sat silent until last fall when a guy from the good old days and take my Omega 3 and daily aspirin. I look at the photo
wanted to be my friend. I had to think: Was he one of the again then sip my green tea and yank out a stray gray hair. I
creeps who used to beat me up? Being curious, I accepted yawn a few times. I forget what I’m doing.
his invitation. Yep, I am definitely turning 50. My Facebook friends
Even though I was a knockabout tomboy, I wasn’t a poked me into posting my birthdate on my profile. Now
bully. Well, except that one time with Joanne Guercio. She the entire social networking world knows my mid-century
was my best friend for a summer; we were inseparable. I milestone.
don’t remember exactly what happened but by fall we were Who knows who will crawl out of the Web to wish me a
archenemies. While in a leg cast from knee surgery, I talked happy birthday or to ask to be my friend? If slut guy does, I’ll
my little brother and his friends into chasing her home. ignore him. If Guercio asks, I’ll humbly accept her invitation.
They threw her schoolbooks in a garbage can and stayed on
her terrorized tail right up to her front door. All the while, I — By Bridget Cassidy
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L
ike most teenage nonprofit, SalsAmigos. the ability to be both a Rueda to all people includes
girls, Jenny Gill Rueda de Casino is the leader and follower. Sam a new grant proposal they’re
had struggles Cuban style of salsa dancing. Gill, through research, has working on. With the money,
with her body, her health Done in a circle a la square found that learning both the Gills want to train others
and coming into her own dancing, but cooler, the parts is good for brain how to teach Rueda.
as a woman. She vowed moves of Rueda are called development. It also gives They hope to host a free
that someday she would aloud and participants undecided teens the ability 10-part downloadable lecture
help other teens through switch partners. The classes to explore their sexuality in series on their Web site that
what can be a difficult and are funded by a grant a safe place that allows them others can use to learn the
lonesome experience. through the Boulder County to be themselves. Gills’ methods. The lecture
Today Gill, 33, of Erie, is Youth Opportunity Advisory “Everybody gets in a series will start rolling out
doing just that. Board. circle and just dances,” this summer.
Gill and her father, Sam The Gills teach in local Jenny Gill says. “I never thought I would
Gill, opened Bantaba World high schools, either for What started in 2006 as teach, ever,” Jenny Gill says.
Dance and Music in 1999. credit or as an after-school a way to teach teens will “Doing this and teaching
Although Bantaba closed its program. What makes the be spreading to classes for with my dad has been very
doors in April 2007, Jenny Gills’ method different is people of all ages, from 5 to satisfying. We just laugh and
and Sam Gill have moved on that both the males and 85. have a great time.”
to another exciting venture: females are taught to lead “We’ve seen the benefits To learn more about
teaching Boulder County and follow. The Gills believe in teens,” Jenny Gill says. SalsAmigos and the Gills,
teens about self-esteem and that this method promotes “The brain can re-learn; it visit www.salsamigos.org.
teamwork in the form of teamwork and equality of can become more juicy.”
Rueda de Casino via their the sexes, while fostering Part of the effort to bring — By Annie Brokaw
W
omen’s rights have come a long way in the last 50
years.
However, this hasn’t happened by the natural
progression of history. Rather, it happened because smart,
strong and independent women didn’t see why they, too,
couldn’t be a lawyer, or a pilot or a politician. Each woman who
never let her gender hold her back from what she wanted to do
improved the quality of life for her daughters.
That’s why for July, Women’s Magazine is celebrating the
lives of three inspirational women who embody women’s
independence. These three Colorado women were historic
pioneers in their fields. Their professions, and certainly
opportunities for all the women who followed, wouldn’t have
been the same without them.
Grass-roots glory
Gloria Tanner has been someday. After her third
active in the community child enrolled in first grade,
since her mother used she finally went back to
to take her door to door school just before turning
posting fliers as a young girl 40. She graduated magma
in Atlanta. cum laude from Metro State
Whether it was petitioning College with a degree in
for street lights on their political science in 1974.
block or speaking out Eighteen months later she
against inequality, Tanner’s received her master’s in
parents taught her to believe urban affairs at CU.
in the value of activism. Following graduation,
Despite the challenges Tanner continued to
of growing up as a black fight discrimination and
woman in the segregated inequality. She eventually
and deeply racist South became the executive
of the ’40s and ’50s, her assistant to Colorado
parents also taught her to Lieutenant Governor George
never doubt herself or her Brown, one of the first black
capabilities. lieutenant governors since
Of course, living on the Reconstruction in the United
same street as the Luther States.
family as in Martin Luther Eventually, as Tanner
King Jr. didn’t hurt either. became more and more
However, Tanner didn’t involved, her supporters
grow up with the dream of convinced her that she
entering politics. In fact, should run for office. She
she had something slightly was elected to the Colorado
different in mind. House of Representatives
“I wanted to be a nurse in 1985, where she served
and go to Paris to enjoy life,” nine years. She later served
Tanner says. on the Colorado Senate for
Nevertheless, despite seven years before retiring
her original plans, and in 2001.
fortunately for women “It was a historic thing,”
everywhere, Tanner ended Tanner says. “I hope I
up breaking barriers. She opened some doors for other
became the second black black women to run for
person to be elected to office. As I walked through Gloria Tanner
a leadership position in those senate doors, I carried
the Colorado House of every woman in the state on also created a marital Organization of Black
Representatives as well as my shoulders. I was proud discrimination bill that Elected Legislative Women.
the first black woman in of that.” prevented women from The organization provides
Colorado to serve as a state Tanner passed several being fired after marrying educational workshops that
senator. monumental bills while in someone in their workplace. train black women to find
Tanner moved to office. She was responsible Another important bill leadership positions and run
Colorado with her husband for the Colorado’s Tanner created gave for office.
Ted when she was 18. abandoned baby bill, adoptive parents the same “If I leave any legacy
Although she dropped which said parents could rights as biological parents. it’s that I tried to make a
out of college when she leave their children at Tanner, now 73 and living difference and encouraged
was young, she always hospitals or fire stations in Denver, is the executive others to the same,” Tanner
knew she would go back without punishment. She director of the National says.
Emily Howell Warner broke the flying frontier for women, lessons.
literally. “It was like my whole world changed,” Warner says.
When Frontier Airlines hired Warner in 1973, she became The equal rights movement of the 1960s influenced Warner
the first woman pilot in the United States to be hired by a greatly. She knew there weren’t any women airline pilots, but
commercial airline. she couldn’t help but think, “Why not?”
As a little girl, Warner didn’t dream of becoming a pilot. Still, it wasn’t easy becoming the first woman pilot. Warner
After graduating from Holy Family High School in Broomfield was a flight instructor at Clinton Aviation after becoming a
in 1957, she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life. certified pilot. She was frustrated when airlines hired her male-
Working at a Denver department store called May Company, counterparts before her, even when they had less experience.
Warner watched as glamorous airline stewardesses passed She eventually made enough contacts at Frontier that she was
through the store. She thought that would be a great job. given an interview.
But at 18 years old, Warner fell short of the stewardess Tears fill Warner’s eyes even today as she remembers the day
age requirement. Nevertheless, one of Warner’s coworkers she was finally hired.
suggested that she buy a roundtrip ticket to Gunnison, Colo., After Warner got the job, other airlines started to hire women,
to see what an airplane ride was like. Warner splurged on the as well. Despite the pressure and constant media attention,
$28 ticket and became the first person in her family to ride on a Warner says she knew she was a good pilot so she never
commercial airline. worried about failing.
Because she was the only passenger on the way back from “Airplanes don’t know if you’re male or female,” she says.
Gunnison, Warner was allowed in the cockpit with the pilots, Warner, now 70, has won numerous awards and has been
where she sat for the whole flight. The experience was thrilling, inducted into both the Colorado Aviation Hall of Fame, as well as
she says, and she immediately fell in love with flying. One of the National Women’s Hall of Fame. She lives in Denver and is
the pilots, sensing her delight, suggested that she take flying still flying. She now has more than 21,000 hours of flying time.
CONTINUED ON PAGE 14
C
onsider what their clothes. engineering types, probably character, emerging from
clothes you are Then there are the employed at the National the soil, nurtured with
wearing the next customers who come Institute of Standards and curiosity and patience a
time you go to the florist. to the florist with a list Technology or National sort of autobiography.
Marjorie McCurtain, at of “botanical plants in Oceanic and Atmospheric
Boulder-based Sturtz & botanical order in Latin,” Administration. The Challenge Seeker
Copeland, says people tend says Gillian Collins, also at For many women, Take Diane Kallgren.
to choose potted plants and Sturtz & Copeland. gardening is an extension This former Navy doctor,
arrangements with colors Those women are of their personality, local dermatologist and
that match the colors in dead ringers for brainy, a thumbprint of their recent Boston Marathon
— By Aimee Heckel
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Near Assisi in the heart of
Umbria, the old farm’s steep
driveway winds through an
olive grove. Trees stand in
neat rows that terrace along
the hillside overlooking
the city below. Streaks of
morning light illuminate a
garden of vegetables and
herbs. In the distance the
cackle of chickens mingles
with the robust fragrance
from rosemary bushes that
line the walkways.
The country-style
accommodations are similar
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the United States. The
modest rooms are furnished
with antiques and a simple
bathroom. Prices start
around 90 euros per night,
which includes breakfast.
Dinner is an additional
charge of 30 euros and
includes wine, dessert and
after-dinner drinks.
Boulder women will enjoy
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organic food and farming,
cooking classes, hiking,
and horseback riding with
options of three to seven day
trekking trips in the scenic
national park just beyond
the property. It is a place to
totally unplug. There are
no TVs, phones or Internet,
and it is centrally located for
visiting other hill towns in
the region. There is also a
pool overlooking the valley.
Eighty percent of the food
served at Malvarina comes
L
isa Fasullo dances in
front of the mirror.
Her hands caress
her swaying body
to a sultry beat. She throws
her head back letting her soft
hair fall. Moving seductively
in her 5-inch stilettos, she
performs.
About a dozen women
study her from behind,
observing Fasullo’s reflection
in the mirror. They watch
and listen without judgement
as Fasullo moves to the floor
and slowing begins to remove
her clothes.
Fasullo, of Boulder, is
sensual.
She admits it. She is
confident and always
Lisa Fasullo,
mysterious. Sensuality is
an essential part of her life, sensual dance
she says. From the way she
blows bubbles playing with teacher, claims
her children to the way she
teaches her sensual dance
class in Boulder, the 46-year- independence
old woman enjoys flirting
with life. in her sensuality
“Sensuality” is one of
those esoteric words that
everyone understands, yet
cannot define. Webster’s New
World College Dictionary
offers two definitions.
The first is “fondness for
or indulgence in sensual
pleasures.” And the second:
“Lewdness or unchastely.”
The ambiguity continues.
The word and its meaning
are paradoxical in nature. At
first glance, sensuality is a
beautiful part of life.
In our frantic lives, enjoying
the senses allows us to be
more connected to the world.
Maybe you stop and smell the
spring’s fresh lilacs during
a nightly jog. Perhaps you
enjoy taking a hot bath and
watching steam dance off
your skin as your raise your
fingers from the water into
Continued on page 25
O
lewdness? There’s that
lewd studies gender and intimate ne of the stories rubbed up against.
darker side of the definition.
dark relationships. Irvine argues I tell in my Psyche does this,
What about indulging
Wh that American women often dance classes is representing the feminine way,
in sensual
s pleasures is constrain their sensuality about Aphrodite, the Greek as opposed to masculine way
perverse? At what point
perv because of our Protestant goddess who represents wild, of taking by force. She returns
does sensuality go too far and Calvinist roots. untamed, fiery erotic power by nightfall, golden fleece in
and become dirty? “I think that in this traits inherent in all women, hand.
What exactly are we culture we can’t help but whether recognized or not. When Aphrodite sees
afraid of? be ashamed of it,” Irvine Aphrodite has a son, Eros, the fleece, she immediately
These are the questions says. “We’re taught to be who represents love and softens. She not only accepts,
Fasullo tackles while good girls. There are things relationships. but also admires, the girl’s
teaching her sensual dance good girls do and there Eros falls in love with a abilities, goodness and smarts.
class. Yes, that means she are things that bad girls do mortal named Psyche. She Psyche is automatically
teaches striptease. and if you’re expressing is the epitome of a good girl. endowed with Aphrodite’s
Scared yet? sensuality you’re on the She does what’s expected, and sensual, powerful life force.
Stripping — the slow, borderline.” everyone loves her for her Psyche now has access to, and
methodical removal of We cannot be too sensual modesty, purity and goodness. fully owns, the two parts of
clothing — is obviously for fear of falling prey to She represents the good girl in herself as a woman: the fiery,
sensual. Yet it has a that second “unchastely” all of us. untamed side, and the soft and
negative social connotation. definition. Irvine says Eros and Psyche want to reserved side.
It’s considered promiscuous society teaches us to be get married, and Aphrodite As for the “you will die if you
and immoral. As a mother, restrained and proper as a grows outraged that another don’t accomplish this” part of
you don’t exactly dream of way to control and constrain woman is being admired the myth? This is a reminder
your daughter’s future in our sensuality. This affects and has entered her domain. that if we don’t honor certain
stripping. our lives and our choices, Aphrodite will have no part in parts of our womanhood
But Fasullo sees as well. their marriage and, in fact, she specifically our “Aphrodite”
striptease as a natural Still Irvine argues wants to do Psyche in before nature, however this may look
outpouring of sensuality that sensuality is an she marries her beloved son. for each of us these parts can
that is innate in every important part of life. So Aphrodite tells Psyche (and do) wither away. Hence
woman. To her, She says it is a part of the that in order to marry her son, the number of couples with
independence is being in human experience. Life she must pass an unachievable sexless marriages, women
touch with your sensuality, is richer when women task: She must get the “golden feeling like something is
claiming it as your own, and give themselves time to fleece” from the deadly rams missing in their lives, boredom
using it however you see fit. feel pleasure and enjoy and return before nightfall. If and women who are mired in
“Whether clothes are the senses. Yet many she fails, she will die. meaningless busy-ness as a
taken off or not, it is a women fear sensuality Psyche agrees, driven distraction.
figurative stripping away and are afraid to express by her deep love for Eros Like all Greek myths, this
of negative conceptions themselves as beautiful, (representing the part in us one is rife with wisdom about
of our own sensuality and sexually independent that will die unless we well, I blending dualistic energies.
ourselves,” Fasullo says. beings. don’t want to spoil it, so read That is also the intention of my
That is the premise of “Sensuality is not an evil,” on!). classes.
Fasullo’s class. Women Irvine says. “It is important No man, or woman for that The more you allow this part
should own their sensuality. for women to find a safe matter, has ever obtained the to come out and encourage her
Fasullo promotes stripping domain where they are much-coveted fleece from the playfulness, the more you will
as a conscious choice to be comfortable expressing beastial rams. Many have died learn about this sensual, vital
performed for a partner, or their sensuality.” trying. self and the more fully she will
simply enjoyed alone. This Fasullo is aware of Psyche grows destitute, come out to accompany you.
isn’t drunken, out-of-control stripping’s reputation. She because she knows what will And the more fun you’ll both
“Girls Gone Wild” stripping. sees the alarmed brows and become of her if she tries to have.
It is about women’s the upturned noses when pull the wool off the rams. May your Aphrodite and
Photo by Jonathan Castner
personal and responsible she tells people what she As she is about to give up Psyche befriend each other
ownership of their bodies. does. and wither and die, the reeds and frolic alongside you in
With ownership of one’s Yet she says underneath (representing where water your daily life.
sensuality and sexuality it all, most people are meets land: sensuality meeting
comes pride, and above all, titillated by the idea. Fasullo practicality) whisper to her — By Lisa Fasullo
strength. argues every woman that she should wait until dusk Inspired by: “She,” by Robert
Leslie Irvine is an Continued on page 26 and then gather the wool that Johnson.
Y
in: The female tendencies and teachings Receptivity: Opening educated man to be able to
principle in have led the feminine the to all possibilities without entertain a thought without
Chinese dualistic yin to be often repressed judgment. accepting it.”
philosophy. and uncelebrated. Intuition: Listening for
— Aristotle
Of course, this is a answers and guidance that
Most of us are familiar generalization. Many comes from within.
with the ancient yin yang women have broken Creativity: Cultivating more frequently.
symbol. Two teardrops, through the glass ceiling, ideas that inspire ourselves Don’t be surprised
one black, one white, and done it while drawing and others. if you have a less-than-
entwined in a circle. Yin: fully from their feminine Emotional intelligence: enthusiastic response to
the dark, the feminine. roots. These are the Connecting consciously and these yin qualities. You
Yang: the light, the women who have inspired wisely to our emotions. might shy away from letting
masculine. Two opposing us throughout history Tranquility: Choosing them shine, as they are
forces, interconnected and and have illustrated how a state of calm, peace and so often associated with
interdependent. A symbol our inherent feminine restfulness. weakness.
exemplifying the quest for qualities can be a powerful However, once you
balance of these two forces counterbalance to the These characteristics act start to try them on with
in our lives. masculine tendencies in our as good measures of the conviction, you’ll see
Though balance might society. role that yin energy plays that these aspects of
be the ultimate goal, the Now, though it might in your life. By noticing the feminine are about
truth is that many women sound fun, this isn’t really where there is a deficiency strength, power and
have had to defer to their about painting your toenails of these elements in your balance. When it comes
masculine qualities in pink, sporting high heels day-to-day, you can identify down to it, who doesn’t
order to survive and thrive and wearing sexy dresses the areas that are out of want to be in the presence
in American society. That (though that may be how balance. Perhaps you’ve of a kind, self-assured,
could be growing up as the feminine expresses been extremely judgmental authentic, expressive
“tomboys” just to be able through you). Bringing of late, skipping rest in woman that knows how to
play the sports we love. our yin into play is about between activities, or trying take care of herself?
Or putting on a less-than- embracing her archetypal to form logical explanations
feminine business suit in qualities, acknowledging about something that just — By Kimberly Jonas
order to fit in with the “good the symbols of her strength: makes you want to cry. Jonas is a Boulder-based
ol’ boys.” Or maintaining receptivity, intuition, Once you have a lock intuitive guide and healer
a ruthless, competitive creativity, emotional on which fundamental and teacher of sacred
attitude so that we are intelligence and tranquility. feminine attributes are not movement, yoga and
acknowledged as “having Take a look at how each operating at their fullest meditation. Contact her at
the chops” to get things of these plays a part or not potential, you can start the www.body-mantra.com or
done. Sadly, all of these in your life: process of invoking them www.kimberlyjonas.com.
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‘Prayers war.
She has lived in Middle
from a previous novel in
fr
a newer novel. This book
for Sale’ Swan for 70 years when a provides the readers with
pr
young bride moves in to some in-depth answers
so
S
andra Dallas fans town with her husband. It regarding the life of a man
re
are in for a treat is 1936 and the couple has slighted in “The Diary of
sl
with Dallas’s moved to the mountains Mattie
Ma Spenser.”
most recent novel, “Prayers in search of work in the “Prayers for Sale” ends
for Sale,” released in April. mines. Hennie sees a bit of with
wi a happy resolution,
Dallas is masterful with herself in newcomer, Nit which
wh is not always the
the historical fiction genre. Spindle, and befriends the case
ca with Dallas novels.
“Prayers,” like many of her girl, teaching her the ways of The
Th ending of “The Diary
novels, is set in Colorado. mountain women. of Mattie Spenser” could be
This one, set in the fictional The novel starts with considered
co satisfying but
Middle Swan, tells the the sharing of the type of impossible. This book is
impossible not
no happy. Reading the two
story of a mining town in secret other authors save filled with secrets revealed of these novels together
the Colorado high country. for the climax or the great as the reader learns about would make for a wonderful
Middle Swan is the home of secret revealed in the final the lives of the characters. weekend.
Hennie Comfort, who came pages. This story up front The secret revealed in the
west after the Civil War to will require time to regain final pages is top notch. —By Lyn Rinehart
marry a miner, after her first composure; but not too long, It is not uncommon for boulderbookqueen@
husband was killed in the because putting down a Dallas to name characters hotmail.com
Sandra Dallas read is nearly
W
e often hear Suzanne: I’m not sure
about single Val is so much confused by
mothers, but Valerio Ferme with his sons, Devin, age 14, left and Mike Ferme, women as surprised when
age 17, right, at their home.
some how forget the men they don’t assert themselves
out there who are struggling years ago, Devon, who is a variety of ways. as much as he thinks they
through parenting alone. now 12, joined their family. Suzanne: I’m sure Val should or can in a given
Valerio Ferme is not only a Ferme explored the option of would say that the best part situation.
single dad; he’s also a parent adopting infants, but says he about being a dad for him
to two adopted sons, two felt like older children might is watching the progress 5. What’s the most
boys who were almost lost to benefit more from the home his sons have made over important lesson your
the foster care system. and opportunities he could the years. He adopted both mother ever taught you?
Ferme, 47, is an associate provide. and they faced a number of Valerio: Funny, this is an
professor of Italian and To get to know Ferme challenges, which they have easy one. I always tell people
comparative literature better and to figure out how faced together as a family. that I owe my mother if I care
and the department chair this amazing guy is still single about others and feel a duty
for the French and Italian we asked him fourquestions, 2. What’s the hardest to help make the world a
departments at the University plus one. Then we asked the part about being a single better place.
of Colorado at Boulder. Born same questions of his long- parent? She is a giver, and I think
and raised in Milan, Italy, time friend and CU colleague, Valerio: Not having any that is the best quality to
Ferme moved to the United Suzanne Magnanini, of breaks. Also, you have to have. She took care of her
States when he was 19. Nederland. be a really good planner, own sick mother for years,
In college, Ferme Here’s how it played out: because you don’t want has worked at battered
sponsored a child in a Third to forget dates, meetings, women shelters, housed
World country through Save 1. What is the best part engagements that are Bosnian refugees during the
the Children. about being a dad? important for the kids. Bosnian War (even gone to
“Even as a child I was Valerio: Seeing children Balancing work, being an Sarajevo with an aid convoy),
always very concerned about change before your eyes. In engaged and loving parent, cared for nine children,
others,” says Ferme, who my case, I think it is pretty and having down-time with worked with mentally
now lives in Lakewood. “I’ve remarkable to see how my them are all made a little unstable people and taught
had a lot given to me, so sons are learning about harder by taking care of them <cm+NT[hec: as a school
giving back is a good thing.” things they might never alone. teacher? : ]both for money
Growing up in a big family, had experienced if they had Suzanne: There is no and for pleasure.
as in eight siblings, Ferme remained in foster care. passing the kids off to a Suzanne: Probably
developed a strong sense Also, it’s knowing that, even partner when you need a something about being
of family and responsibility. though they are adolescents break so it is very hard to a good parent while
From a young age, he knew and resent you at times for find time for yourself. maintaining your own
he wanted to adopt. Six doing your job, at the end of identity.
years ago, Ferme adopted the day, they both still need 3. What confuses you
Michael, who is now 17. Two you and try to engage you in most about women? — By Annie Brokaw
Independence, cubed
T
his July, I a portion of her strength
pay tribute to from all these sources. And
four strong, I’d agree with her. Yet I
independent women who think her deepest source
light up the planet and my of strength comes from
life. her sense of community.
Josie Heath, of Boulder She truly understands
is my boss and my friend. what it means to create and
She is a force of nature participate in a community. Jill Stavolemos
and has unbridled energy.
She’s the president of the Maria Cote, of Erie, is industry. She’s direct,
Community Foundation, a writer, editor, runner, organized, outrageously
where I work. She’s been pie-baker, mother of three creative, funny and a
involved in government, sons and devoted friend. fabulous entertainer. She
politics, community She’s a gifted listener and has a pure heart and open
organizing and nonprofit a fine storyteller. She has arms. She’s extremely
work. She embodies an enormous thirst for Maria Cote
adaptable to change and that
knowledge, an insatiable easily might be mistaken
curiosity and an empathetic spiritual being completely in as her greatest source of
soul. She’s a critical thinker touch with her surroundings. strength.
and has a kind, old soul. She’s an independent woman In my view, though, she
All of these traits make who lives in a house she finds refuge and renewal
her a wise confidante and designed and partially built in her family, her husband
compelling advisor. herself. She lives with two and her daughters. In her
While her family is her equally independent cats. professional life very little
source of comfort, I think Her friends comprise her stays the same; her family is
her source of strength is her army of influence, but the her anchor.
intellect. It’s where she turns natural world is where she
to sort out what she doesn’t derives her strength. It’s Thanks ladies, for all you
know or understand. It fuels evident in her art, her home are and all you do.
her independence. and her relationships. It rubs
off on those she loves and — By Colleen Conant
Josie Heath Heather Curtis, of we are made stronger for it. Conant, the former editor
LaVeta, is an artist with a of the Camera in Boulder,
leadership on every level: zest for living. She’s a builder Jill Stravolemos, of retired after a 35-year career
mentoring, motherhood and who reclaims and recycles, Erie, is a media executive, in newspaper journalism.
family. a deeply compassionate juggling the myriad fragile She’s currently on the staff of
She would probably friend, daughter and sister, a orbs in that fast-changing, the Community Foundation
tell you that she derives terrific party organizer and a partially disappearing Serving Boulder County.
H
ave you ever and then the upper body.
thought The strategy and technique 50 Percent of women
about rock required to effectively climb have turned down
climbing but felt it was out of a route makes you forget the invitations to events
your reach? (Pun intended.) physical challenge you’re that required wearing a
I felt the same way when experiencing. What a great swimsuit.
I first started. But with the way to strength train. 45 Percent of women
right climbing instructor and 2. The toned and say they’d never walk
group of girlfriends, I have sculpted muscles. around the beach or
grown to love it. Because of the isometric pool without covering
Boulder has a lot of and dynamic movements, up first.
climbing options, including climbers develop beautifully
Boulder’s new indoor rock toned and sculpted bodies. Source: Fitness
climbing and fitness facility, You’ll discover muscles in Magazine, in
Movement Climbing and your back and arms that you partnership with Lands’
Fitness, opening this month never knew you had. most beautiful scenery. End.
at 2845 Valmont Road. 3. It’s an indoor or 4. It’s social, social,
Here are four reasons outdoor workout. social.
why you should give rock You have the choice to Another benefit of rock meet friends outside of the
climbing a try: train and climb indoors or climbing is the social aspect. endurance sports world.
1. It’s a total body outdoors. Indoors is more There is necessary rest
strength workout that’s time efficient and you can time between routes, which — By Andie Bernard
fun. work on your endurance becomes a great time to chat Bernard, of Boulder, is the
Despite how it looks, and technique under the and catch up with friends. director and head coach of
upper body is only part of the safest conditions. Outdoor It’s also an easy way to meet Tri Babes Training, www.
challenge. Proper climbing climbing requires more of new people. As a triathlete, tribabestraining.org. Send
technique utilizes the feet your own equipment, but it rock climbing broadens my your fitness questions to
and legs primarily, the core, also provides some of the network and the ability to coachandie@gmail.com.
SIMPLY YOU
M
chaos: sterile and inanimate. So before you start
y mother something has come up that In contrast, cleaning out attacking every mess,
can’t I just can’t miss. The last- is a pleasure to some of us. yelling at your family, and
understand minute weekend trip or my Before I start working, I forgetting to look out the
one thing about me: Why, on neighbor needing help with need to clear off my desk to window you’re so intent on
a beautiful Saturday, would I something (like drinking feel the literal and figurative cleaning, ask yourself: Is your
rather clean out my garage wine or watching a French “space” to create. Without home is filled with clutter or
than play in the mountains? movie) are excellent reasons that peace of mind, my abundance?
I have turned down social to say “I’m there,” leaving the energy is drained thinking
invitations because I was dishes in the sink. about what still needs to be — By Liz Canavan
purging my closet or washing So I guess the question is: tended to. Canavan, of Boulder, is
my car. Why? Because I love “When to let it go and when A home without sticky a professional organizer
to order and taking exquisite to tidy it up?” fingerprints is missing a with Alchemy of Order and
care of what I own. I’ve made In Greek mythology, Chaos child’s hug; a home without the marketing director of
a commitment to some is the goddess of emptiness dirty socks lacks bike the National Association
“thing” and I’m honoring it. and confusion, a shapeless rides in the foothills. In of Professional Organizers.
Am I this way all the time? void who gave birth to the all life there is evidence of Contact her at 303-641-4760,
No way. universe. Chaos gives us the living, and sometimes that liz@alchemyoforder.com or
Many times I have let my opportunity for growth and evidence looks like clutter. www.alchemyoforder.blogspot.
home disheveled because change and creativity. It’s But sometimes it looks like com.
Picture-perfect motherhood
I ’m going to
commit the
largest sin in
journalism and write about
something I know nothing
about.
I don’t even want to join
the millions of people who
have already opined on this
particular topic, so I won’t
mention their names. It
involves a married couple
who happens to have eight
children and is having a
reality TV crew document
their lives. I haven’t seen it.
The show was mildly
popular, until the marriage
started publicly falling
apart and the couple was
criticized for trading their
children’s privacy for cash.
Then: It hit the jackpot. Ten The first time I ever dealt At this point, we were both systems.
million people tuned into the with a temper tantrum was soaking wet. This would be I looked from the calm,
trainwreck TV; many millions when my first daughter was 2 what reality TV producers dry woman back through the
more than were watching years old. Unhappily for me, would consider for my car window at my child, who
before. it started in the middle of a pilot: I picked her up, held had already, almost instantly,
Some people watched Target store, while a driving her steady in her chair by fallen asleep. She looked like
the happy family; 10 million rainstorm started outside pressing my chest against a sopping wet baby angel.
watch the unhappy one. They and I was about 9 months her torso and I strapped her I could have handled it
became officially fascinating. pregnant. in, my mouth silent in a thin, much better (I’ve learned
People dish on her hair, She didn’t pitch a fit, as firm line. some things; still learning
on her temper, on his apathy, much as she roared like a This is what I heard over some others.) And the
on their parenting. A clip tornado siren, all through the the tornado siren: “Use your woman in the parking lot
of the mother making an store. words!” could have offered me the
exasperated face at her And I tried everything: I turned around. A calm, shelter of her prescient
young daughter gets played Holding, cajoling, singing, stern-looking woman stood in umbrella rather than her
on the news, and everyone talking, ignoring, bribing, and the parking lot, under the dry stinging words. I do know
has something to say about attempted amateur hypnosis. shelter of her umbrella. She this: It felt awful. Every
it. According to a recent Nothing worked. smiled wanly and said: “Use second of it.
University of Michigan study, So we rushed out into the your words! If you’re going to I thank my lucky stars that
this can be healthy. Dishing pouring rain. The difference be a decent mother, you must such scrutiny of my family —
among women — the most between a tornado siren and be more patient and use your the most officially fascinating
likely viewer of this particular a toddler is this: You can put a words.” people in the whole universe
show — increases levels toddler safely in a car seat. I had words all right. to no one at all, except for
of progesterone, which She flailed her arms; Two of ’em. I didn’t use me — happens almost never.
boosts feelings of well-being, she kicked her legs. I put a them, though, because Out of fairness to that same
reduces anxiety and stress. soothing hand on her tummy I’m an amazing, awesome universe, I remind myself
But I’m not buying it. I and kissed her wet cheek: mature grownup who was daily to keep similar scrutiny
don’t think criticizing other She grasped my arm with raised right and wants to of other mothers to myself.
parents is a bonding activity. both tiny fists, arched her set a good example for my
I do think it’s human nature little back and slid down onto children, even when they — By Erika Stutzman
though. the car floor. are emergency broadcast erika@womensmag.com
W
hat happens couldn’t believe he only had he really loved me,” Jane She doesn’t remember
when a year left to live. says. “I had a wonderful much of the night after she
relationship By October, Chuck had life.” saw three men standing in
independence isn’t a choice? died and Jane was left to Jane says she is glad she Air Force blues. She knew
When you’re away from take a closer look at herself. and Chuck took the time something was wrong and
the one you love in a long- Jane was never alone for to kiss each other and say she asked the men how bad
distance relationship, how the better part of her life. “I love you” every day. She it was.
do you keep the relationship She says she has always wants people to realize The men told her her
alive? When you lose the been a follower. Even when that great relationships are husband of six years, Ssgt.
one you love, how do you she was a child she always possible, and they should Brian McElroy, had been
move on? had her identical twin sister look for love even if it mean killed in Iraq.
Women’s magazine spoke to keep her company. loss someday. It was even harder
to three brave Colorado Jane also knew Chuck for After he died Jane was breaking the news to her
women who were forced to most of her life. Since she extremely lonely. She says daughter.
be independent when their was 6 years old, they grew that not being able to share We were very honest
husbands died. All of the up on the same street in with him was the biggest with her,” Aymber says.
women — who at the time Black River Falls, Wis. loss. Still, Jane believes “She was 3 at the time, so
thought they couldn’t go on The couple married in Chuck is with her. He it was hard to make her
— rebuilt happy lives. 1954. and God have helped her understand the permanence
Jane, 74, of Louisville, survive. of it. I told her daddy had
Loneliness for says Chuck was the ”I think about him and I died and he couldn’t come
mainstay of the family. talk to him every day to home anymore and he went
the first time
When they were first his picture and I always tell to go live with God.”
married he worked for him, ‘I miss you honey.’” Aymber met Brian shortly
Niether Jane nor Chuck
GE as an auditor and Jane after high school. Aymber’s
Siefert realized how sick he
stayed home with the best friend Candice had
was. After all, Chuck had
family. After being married
Supporting others joined the Air Force
run the Bolder Boulder just
for almost 50 years, Jane Security Forces after they
a few months before. Aymber McElroy was
says they were almost as graduated from Bear Creek
Even after he was visiting her family in Denver
High School in Longmont vehicle he was driving grief is cathartic for her. to her husband, Ray,
by your hairy
birthday suit!
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CONFESSIONS OF AN ECO-DIVA
Y
customers test items on their because they “never go out
ou’re a bit of a though, so it helps to have a own turf overnight, but most of style.” Michelle deems the
fashion rebel, few basics down. consignments stores will not $52 designer jeans at Rags
aren’t you? You First of all, understand accept returns. a great buy, since they cost
don’t let the latest trends where you are. On that note, beware of around $200 new.
dictate your style. You’ll “A consignment shop is not The Reason. Why was this Even though consignment
choose whatever labels, even the same as a thrift store,” ex- totally adorable shirt given stores get hundreds, even
whatever decade, you darn plains Rockin’ Robin (Robin up for consignment in the thousands, of new items a
well please. And oh yeah, Abb), owner of Rockin’ first place? Did the previous week, persistence is a neces-
“reduce, reuse, recycle” is Robin’s Retro and Resale in owner lose weight after a sity.
your personal mantra. Niwot. “The quality is better bout of swine flu? Was it a Michelle advises, “Bring
You must be a consign- in a consignment store... the gift from grandma that never your coffee, bring a friend
ment store shopper. selection has been cleaned really fit her style? Or does and just continue to search.”
Consignment shops offer and gleaned.” it have a button that pops off And whether that search
shopping liberation when the Also keep in mind that every time you bend over, or leads you to an ’80’s rock-star
styles in new-clothes stores these clothes had a life before worse yet, perma-B.O.? Give jacket, vintage necklace or
are unflattering (anyone you. The Reason some thought designer jeans, it will be just
else being taunted by skinny “Always try on,” recom- before you commit. your style.
jeans?), or simply not you. mends Michelle Robbins, Once you’ve mastered
They also keep cool duds out general manager of Rags Consignment 101, let loose — By Kate Nelson
of landfills and are downright Consignments in Boulder. your shopping diva and Nelson is Boulder’s self-
fun. Second-hand shopping “These clothes have been discover buried treasures. proclaimed eco-diva. Contact
does have its challenges washed and worn, and may Rockin’ Robin steers custom- Nelson at ecokate@live.com.
Young
at heart
Simply Young at heart
elegant
Ruffles and poofy
sleeves instantly make
you feel young and fun.
Don’t be afraid to get all
dolled up in a dress fit
for a porcelain queen.
Dress: Vintage,
multi-colored, iridescent
taffeta ruffled dress,
Summer is a great time to show off unique accessories in simple, $85. Shoes: Vintage
yet elegant ways. This necklace is a one of kind, hand-made piece cowboy boots, circa
by a Peruvian artist only available at Jah Vintage. A striking gold 1973, $65. Jewelry:
necklace and sturdy black boots take a simple outfit to the next level. Serpentine with Tiger’s
Skirt: Vintage high-waist pencil skirt with slit, $65. Top: Vintage Eye Mayan woven
black lace camisole, $18. Belt: Vintage leather belt, $35 Shoes: necklace, $110
Vintage Zodiac boots, $40. Jewelry: Andean Onyx and Tiger’s Eye
Mayan woven necklace, $121.
Evolving independence
I
TWISTS OF FATE
P
regnant! Me? I But dreams do change. commuting to school, 10 little
can’t be. As summer turned to fall, even though I worried my toes and
The doctor my stomach began growing ballooning belly wouldn’t fit saw that
confirmed my suspicions. and I started feeling strange. behind the wheel of the car. Susan Litt and dimple in
I was a 20-year-old college Was that a pain? Was that Then one Friday in her son. his chin, all
junior at Douglass College a flutter? Was my baby December, I felt it. The of the stress
in New Brunswick, N.J., moving? Was I imagining movement was different I had felt during the last
married less than a year and something that wasn’t there? from anything I had few months melted away. It
definitely not ready for this I had no one to discuss this experienced before, and doesn’t get any better than
unplanned pregnancy. with because I was the first I knew this was it. Very that.
How were we going of my friends to be pregnant. quickly it became obvious
to manage? I wanted to So I read book after book that this baby wanted out. — By Susan Litt, 64, Boulder
Summer Special:
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Located in Niwot near Boulder
Kathy Kuscan
It’s hard to imagine how
many artists Kathy Kucsan
has helped during her career.
She co-founded the Rocky
Mountain Center for Musical
Arts, a community school
that makes music lessons
affordable, and she started
Integrity Arts, a consulting
company helping artists
find grants. For those in the
performing arts, she’s been
a valuable behind-the-scenes
Charlotte Rose
Frank Varra Memorial Police Department / North Metro Fire District Benefit Golf Tournament. Photos by David Jennings.
Tammy Yellico makes a putt while Greg Demko, Rocco Mastrione, 13, the grandson of Frank Varra, gets
Dave Shinneman and Kevin Standbridge watch. advice from his aunt DeAnn Landrus.
From left to right Luann Bradford and her daughters Nina Marcus and
Maggie Bradford Latasha Spear
Yoga Moms and Kids. The Red Tent: Monthly Travel tips and Just sit: Free
Every Friday at 1 nourishment for packing light clinic. meditation practice.
p.m. until July 31. women. 3-6 p.m., 443 7 p.m., Changes 7-9 p.m., Boulder
Call 720-771-5882 Juniper Ave., Boulder, in Latitude Travel Shambhala Center,
to register. $112 Reserve space at Store, 2525 Arapahoe 1345 Spruce St.,
for mother and one 303-800-0878 Ave., Boulder, Boulder, www.boulder.
child. $56 for each or redtent@ 303-786-8406, www. shambhala.org. Free.
additional child. SaraAvantStover.com, cil.com. Free.
www.fourmermaids.
com. $30.
Late night salsa Downtown Boulder Greatest Piano Try a glider ride
dancing. 10:30 Art Fair. Through Concertos. 7:30-9:30 with Mile High
p.m., Trattoria July 19. Pearl p.m. Chautauqua Glider Rides. 9 a.m.,
on Pearl, 1430 Street Mall, Boulder, Auditorium, Goldenrod Boulder Airport, 3335
Pearl St., Boulder, 303-449-3774 www. and Morning Glory Airport Rd, Boulder,
303-544-0008, www. boulderdowntown. drives, Boulder, 303-444-8420, www.
trattoriaonpearl.com. com. Free. 303-440-7666, www. boc123.com. $179.
$3. coloradomusicfest.org.
$12-40.