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www.writelikethemasters.com Version 2.41 July, 2012 Limits of Liability & Disclaimer of Warranty The author and
www.writelikethemasters.com Version 2.41 July, 2012 Limits of Liability & Disclaimer of Warranty The author and

www.writelikethemasters.com

Version 2.41 July, 2012

Limits of Liability & Disclaimer of Warranty

The author and publisher of this eBook and the associated materials have used their best efforts in preparing this material. The author and publisher make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy, applicability, fitness, or completeness of the contents of this material. They disclaim any warranties expressed or implied, merchantability, or fitness for any particular purpose. The author and publisher shall in no event be held liable for any loss or other damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. If you have any doubts about anything, the advice of a competent professional should be sought.

This material contains elements protected under International and Federal Copyright laws and treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited.

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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About the Author

Clive Cable began his journey in sales in 1986 working door-to-door commission only. In 1990 he put his sales skills to work on paper as a direct-response copywriter. He has written letters that have successfully started companies from scratch. One of his adverts stayed in a national magazine, for 18 months, unchanged. This launched his own company. Since 1995 he has been giving seminars and workshops on innovate marketing and proven sales strategies. His latest work was developed from advanced Neuro-linguistic programming, (NLP).

developed from advanced Neuro-linguistic programming, (NLP). Clive studied with Kenrick Clevela nd, one of the world’s

Clive studied with Kenrick Cleveland, one of the world’s highest paid sales and persuasion trainers. From time to time he tests and refines his concepts by selling home improvement products on a commission only during these tough times. He still consistently breaks company sales records with ease.

Recently he teamed up with Stuart Goodship to create special rapid learning sessions explained at the end of this book. These sessions enable you to learn while relaxing. No need to ‘mentally rehearse’ anything. All you do is lie back and listen. The recorded sessions that go along with this e-learning programming guide you effortlessly to mastery.

Within one year your Influence Intelligencewill be among the very best in the world and people won’t be able to resist you!

You can reach him at www.writelikethemasters.com

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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Table of Contents

About the Author

2

Introduction

3

Chapter 1 The Persuasion Elite

15

Chapter 2 Motivating Emotions

20

Chapter 3 The Need to Protect

28

Chapter 4 The Need to Connect

31

Chapter 5 Deep Rapport

35

Chapter 6 Mastering Rapport

49

Chapter 7 The Need to Learn

58

Chapter 8 The Science of Compliance

63

Chapter 9 Social Influence in Action

72

Chapter 10 Suggest Ability

76

Chapter 11 Plot-Point Persuasion

87

Chapter 12 Resisting Resistance

94

Chapter 13 The Heroic Journey

99

Chapter 14 Learning to Learn Fast

125

Chapter 15 Post Persuasion Checklist

131

Resources

134

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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Introduction

Do you ever get annoyed when people don’t do what you want them to do?

Are you your suggestions to others frequently ignored?

Do people occasionally stop listening when it’s your turn to talk?

Are your views often invalid in the eyes of others?

Does your partner/spouse refuse to do what you want most of the time?

When you talk to your children or parents do they sometimes reject your ideas?

Do your clients refuse to give you referrals?

Have you experienced any resistance from friends and family lately?

When negotiating do you lose a lot of the time?

Do people withhold their love and attention from you at times?

If you answered yes to more than three of these questions then what you’re about to read will show you why this is happening to you.

Before we get started, have this one fact crystal clear in your mind - if you don’t have a plan to persuade others, you’ll have to go along with their plan to persuade you.

My name is Clive Cable and I’ve been researching, using, and fine tuning persuasion strategies for over 23 years. I have looked at persuasion in print and in person from the worlds best and I’m here to tell you about why people resist you.

I become involved in selling in 1986 working as a door-to-door commission only salesperson. This is a world where you only eat what you kill. If the buyer smelt commission breath on you that was the end. So even though they knew you were selling to them, you had to come across as if you weren’t.

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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And with the low self-confidence I had back then it wasn’t easy.

I struggled for a month, and when you have a wife, two children, a mortgage plus all the other bills - each month seems like a year.

I began to read books, and pick up anything I could get my hands on to help me make money and be more persuasive.

For the first four years it was difficult. But I found the sales tools that worked, made money, and survived to help you.

You see if I had in my possession what you’re about to read, I would have made 10 times the money I made back then.

As we get into specific details you should understand this. Every word has power. When you talk to anyone - once you’ve said what you’ve said you can’t take it back. You words will hurt or heal and there’s very little in between.

Unconfident people make the following basic mistakes with their language. And if that’s you… it isn’t necessarily your fault.

Understanding emotions

In school, no one ever teaches self-confidence. Nor do they show you about word choices that unconsciously hurt others and lower their self-esteem.

The truth is people feel good about you if you say the things they like.

This makes them want to be around you. Their self-esteem, their ego and their self-worth gets a boost every time your words trigger off positive feelings inside of them.

If on the other hand you are constantly saying things people don’t want to hear they won’t want to be around you.

By making people feel bad even unintentionally you hurt their self-confidence and undermine them.

Also a lot of words will trigger past events and emotions. And because the brain works by association, what you say will fire off certain emotions.

Either good or bad.

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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These are known as ‘anchors.’ When you unconsciously pair one thing with another, it anchors the two together.

For example: The smell of freshly brewed coffee can bring back memories of being with someone special in a café. Or the music you used to hear as a child when heard again recalls what you were doing at that time.

All this goes on below the level of normal consciousness, in other words outside of your awareness.

If you use words that upset people and stir up negative memories, they will

associate their upset-ness with you.

They’ll lose confidence in you persuade them.

therefore you’ll find it difficult or impossible to

Let’s look at some of the many reasons why people might resist you today.

These are usually down to the choices of words you use when talking to others.

Your choices of words are either bonding you or alienating you from others… it’s simple but not easy.

The 3 R’s

There’s three R‘s in persuasion. Rapport Resistance and Rejection.

If you have strong rapport you’ll meet little resistance and almost no rejection.

If you have mediocre rapport you’ll meet more than your share of resistance and

a fair bit of rejection.

If you have little or no rapport you’ll always encounter resistance (unless you’re forced to comply, as you are when you’re stopped by the police).

If you have no rapport you’ll have outright rejection.

Now everyone knows if you want to persuade someone to do something you’re not going to swear at them.

I mean that’s just stupid right?

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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Want to know a word that’s almost as bad as swearing? This word completely destroys trust, confidence and rapport at the unconscious level the instant it’s heard.

Imagine that, one word so powerfully negative and destructive to persuasion that even outside of your awareness it completely turns you off the person who uses it constantly.

And yet normal, decent people believe this word is okay to use in conversation.

It’s not, never has been never will be. Using this word is like listening to a bunch of people talking and no one listening.

It’s like a competition of opinions and nothing more. No one makes any headway because no one is interested in the people who use this particular word.

I’ll tell you what it is in just a moment

in the meantime see if you can guess.

This word seems so insignificant when you hear it. Yet it’s so profoundly awful when your brain sees the real meaning behind it… which it always does.

Have you guessed the word yet?

No, I haven’t used it, however I will soon. When I tell you, you’ll begin to hear it all the time.

The minute you stop using it, you’ll instantly be more persuasive.

How’s that for a promise.

Also people will listen more to what you have to say.

You’ll even get better responses from the people you talk to. And your self- confidence will immediately begin to grow.

It is of course the word ‘but.’

“Yes but,” I hear you say, “it’s only a little word.” And my reply is, the meaning of your communication is the response you get.

If you want a more positive response use better language.

But no one has ever told me the word ‘but’ can be that bad.”

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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What I can tell you is this, the word but” negates all that went before it.

Here are some examples:

“He’s a lovely guy, but he swears a lot.”

“I like that dress, but it doesn’t suit her.”

“That’s a good TV programme, but I hate the presenter.”

In each case the word ‘but’ is the destroyer. If you use a lot of ‘yes buts’ and ‘no buts’ your message has been phrased in such a way that the other person doesn’t want to accept it.

If you use “yes but” and no buta lot, then you will move out of rapport with the people you are with, lose their trust and confidence and you’ll greatly reduce your chances of persuading them.

And if you’re ‘yes butting’ to these words right now it’s because you’re a certain type known as a ‘reactant.’ According to Professor Knowles (who is the world’s leading researcher on resistance), reactants mismatch or find differences in what another person is saying to them.

Another name for a reactant is a ‘mismatcher.’ These people always say the opposite to what you’re saying.

If you’re finding yourself reacting to what I’m saying… then I don’t suppose you could find what I’m saying wrong, could you?

Cleaning up your language in the ways I’m talking about here will allow you to have more confidence. When you have more confidence you’ll influence others effortlessly.

Can I be honest with you?

Shall we look at another very important way people prevent themselves from persuading?

I hope you don’t use these words, BUT if you do you can stop.

Now as a side note… that was an example of the correct way to use the word but.I used it to negate a bad habit you may have.

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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The words ‘to be honest’ or ‘honestly’ are words that presuppose you’ve not been all that honest up until now , so why should someone believe you now if they think you’ve been lying to them previously?

Okay, YOU may not think there is anything wrong with the words ‘to be honest,’ but the person you’re attempting to persuade will.

If you’re in business trying to convince others some people will naturally be wary. And in most cases they will have very little faith in you and refuse to put their trust and confidence in you.

They have probably been taken for a ride before by someone else who repeatedly said, “I’ll be honest with you.”

Never use the words ‘honestly,’ or ‘to be honest.’

If you’re being honest, you don’t need to say so… By saying to be honest”, you detract from your message.

It’s not funny

This next word is a stock favourite of one of my brothers, who, as it happens works in sales. It grates on my ears like chalk scraping a blackboard every time I hear him use the word, NOT.

I’m not being funny but

in this sentence structure. I’m not being awkward but really say to you?

Now my brain and yours doesn’t hear the word “not

what does that sentence

It says to me you are being awkward, funny or any other word you’re trying to distract me from.

Stop using this word, and watch how peoples’ reactions towards you change for the better.

You may be saying, how am I going to remember all of this? The answer is, take one word at a time and for one whole week leave it out of your vocabulary.

More bad language

I’m now going to show you the next set of disgusting words to avoid when you want to persuade people to your way of thinking.

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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Before I do I was just wondering, have you found that it’s the people who seek out valuable information like this that get further ahead in life? They’re usually more successful than others and make more money than most people.

Just suppose you could get more people to do what you asked because you had better persuasion skills and more self-confidence.

How would that benefit you? As you think about those benefits, let’s explore other words never to use in persuasion. As we do can begin to realise what having even more of this kind of information can do for you?

I thought so.

Moving on… the next nasty little word is ‘try.’ Yes it seems so trivial it’s hardly worth mentioning, until that is you ask someone to do something important for you. And they say, “I’ll try.”

What they’re really saying is, I probably won’t, and if I use the word try” I’ve got my get-out clause before I even start. I didn’t really promise. I only said I’d try.

Sound familiar?

If you use this word, then others will know you won’t do anything you say either.

You lose their confidence straight away.

So cut it out, here’s why.

Try and raise your eyebrow. Try really hard now and get it up.

What happened? If you lifted your eyebrow you were not following my instructions, because you did it.

If you didn’t lift it you weren’t following my instructions either because you didn’t do it. You can only do something or not do it, if you don’t believe me see where you can find anything out there in nature that is merely ‘trying’ to do something.

There are only two things that really count in life.

1. The confidence to go out into the world and get what it is you want.

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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2. The competence or having the right set of skills so you know in advance you

are assured of succeeding.

All the rest is just commentary.

And one feeds off the other, self-confidence is fuelled by self-efficacy. You first have the confidence to learn new things and risk new ways of doing things. Next you get the results you were after because you were competent.

It’s like a feedback loop.

Other words to leave to others.

Don’t use this word

“Don’t” is another bad word when persuading others because you’re actually instructing them to do the very thing you don’t want them to do. Don’t imagine yourself on the beach right now in the warm sun, looking out over a calm sea.

Were you just there?

But I said don’t – how could you?

My brain and your brain cannot process the word “don’t”, that’s why.

Don’t think how that would help you now, so let’s move onto the next set of words in the negative category we’re focusing on.

Hitting the rewind button

The words shouldand “shouldn’t…” shouldn’t be used in persuasion. These take the power out of your persuasion like popping a balloon with a pin. You may get a loud bang but all the wind has gone out of your argument.

There are no rewind buttons on life so you can’t go back and should have, could have, shouldn’t have done anything.

All you do when you used to use these words should, shouldn’t, etc., is make people feel guilty.

And since people never like to feel guilty you get the blame for making them feel bad about something they’re supposed to have done or not done.

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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As I said earlier if you make people feel bad, they’ll associate that feeling with you.

Are you beginning to see how this all works?

It’s a different viewpoint to look at language in this way. You’re starting to hear words people say differently.

Removing these from your language will make other people feel better about being around you. They’ll quickly catch on and react to you in a warmer, friendlier way.

It’s as if a light bulb goes off in their mind and they see you in a new light.

Your words, the way you speak somehow sounds different and they grasp what you’re trying to get across.

They move closer to you figuratively speaking. They warm to you faster than ever before.

You’ll also begin to feel more confident around others. With clean language you can move into persuading others with relative ease.

Now that you understand how words can automatically trigger off emotions you want to make sure you trigger good emotions in order to get people to do what you want them to do.

Change happens

But what about the language other people use when they talk to you?

I believe other people use language that can end up taking you away from your life’s dreams.

When that happens it can affect your self-worth, your self-motivation, your self-esteem, your self-image and much more.

It’s been said thousands of times before – prevention is better than cure. But it’s not easy to prevent people putting you down… or is it?

You’ll find the answer to this and discover how you can be far more successful at persuasion, in business, at home, in fact anytime you want to win.

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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Go to www.writelikethemasters.com

and find out just how easy it is to succeed at almost anything you want to do.

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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Chapter 1 The Persuasion Elite

Aristotle, perhaps the most famous orator of all time, talked of three routes to changing the mind of another person.

1. Ethos

Ethos uses trust, and focuses first on the one doing the persuading. Here the persuader shows off his reputation with quotes from others, books, articles, etc.

The reputation of a person depends on their past, and what is known and spoken about them. Its worth saying here, although there’s usually a close relationship between reputation and reality, it’s not always the case. Politicians, for example, guard their reputations carefully, yet many still have skeletons in the closet.

Proving reputation often means reminding others of your notable past, perhaps through stories of your successes, of how you have helped others and been able to see the truth where others have not.

Credibility

Credibility goes hand in glove with authority. Both depend on your expertise and how this is put across or even proven beforehand. Proving expertise before you meet the other person is also known as positioning. To use credibility, position or reposition yourself as THE expert in your field. Talk as if you cannot be challenged. Show how others look up to you. Use powerful gestures, eye contact and so on to create the concept of strong leadership, that way people will naturally follow you.

2. Pathos

Pathos is all about evoking emotions. Make people excited… create anticipation about what you’re going to say.

Ask questions to uncover their core emotions. Tell stories about yourself, how you started out way behind the crowd and made it through to success. Use Pathos to show your own values and how you put others before yourself. You can also work with their dreams and desires or even challenge their long held beliefs.

Words are powerful and key words (like love, hate, passion, hurt, power, money, etc., can trigger deep seated emotions and feelings.

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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3. Logos

Logos focuses first on the argument, using cool logic and rational explanation, as well as irrefutable evidence. It is undeniable, self-evident and demonstrable.

Evidence

Science and scientific proof are based on the use of pragmatic evidence. If you argue without evidence, a scientist would dismiss your argument as anecdotal.

Evidence you can physically prove cannot be refuted. You see this in the courts of law. Expert witnesses, hard facts, forensic science are all examples of this. It is very difficult to deny any of these without calling into question the validity of the evidence produced.

The proof elements you use in the logical part of your persuasion can include statistics, pictures and testimony from other people (especially first hand). Pathos can be used to give emotional spin on the logic just used. Ethos is also important to establish the authority of the proof you’re offering.

Reason

Reason uses rational points, undeniable truths, observable facts, accepted truths and proven theories. Where evidence does not exist, you can get by with good reasoning.

All beliefs are held together by cause and effect. This causes that. Or even this equals that. Use the word becauseto make this work in your favour.

Reasoning often uses syllogisms that include a major premise, a minor premise and a conclusion based on the combination of the two premises. For example any ‘x’ can cause any ‘y.’ As in the language pattern, the fact that X means Y.

Also, stating four facts followed by your suggestion can have a powerful effect on what is believed and accepted.

This is your first guide to powerfully influencing others. But wait… there’s more!

I came to the conclusion long ago if you don’t have a plan to influence others… you’ll have to default to their plan not to be influenced. Is that what you really want? I don’t think so. I assume you want your own way more often.

Am I right or am I right?

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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Okay, enough of the cheesy lines. Actually I stole that one from the film ‘Groundhog Day,’ one of THE all-time best films on persuasion.

Back to the plot:

If I’d had in my possession what you’re about to read, I would have made at least 10 times the money I’ve made in my life so far. Before we begin, you'll naturally

to do that you can just read

want to get the most from your time spent learning

the entire book from cover to cover to get an overview. Alternatively, you may want to go back and focus in on one of the chapters and study what’s there.

When you know that my words have made sense, you can then get a feel of how you would use these ideas in your life. They might seem a little awkward initially, like riding a bike for the first time. However, you’ll soon find them becoming part of your on-going behaviour which will naturally become seamless as you integrate this new understanding of persuasion.

This book will enhance your learning experience because of the choice and order of words I’ve used. They may seem a little strange to you at first. If at any time you feel overwhelmed, just take a short break, as this will speed up your learning.

Let’s look at the word informed (in-formed). What a powerful word. If you look it up in a dictionary you'll see

1. To give or impart knowledge. 2. To make known; to give substance, character or distinction. To pervade or permeate with manifest effect. 3. Illuminate, inspire and instruct.

Although - I prefer it as something that forms within you - becomes a part of you and your on-going beliefs and/or behaviours.

If you want to be the best you can be at influence, then this book is your next step.

This information has formed within me so well

persuading. I don't even have to think about it, I just behave my way into a sale or into getting what I want from others and if I can do it so can you.

it's in everything I do when I'm

Influence is a social skill and you'll be using natural everyday strategies that some people use all around the world without even realising it. These strategies only work when you use them. There's nothing false about them. They are as normal as human life.

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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Use them with integrity and they will serve you well for the rest of your life. Use them to con people and people will seek out their revenge. That said, these strategies are as current as today, as proven as yesterday and applicable for all of your tomorrows.

So let’s begin our quest to discover what the best persuaders do and why they do it.

But first you’ll need to have some knowledge of the latest findings on human motivations and emotions.

New research explains persuasion

There’s a part of your brain – the limbic system which is not time oriented, nor object oriented. What this means is - it can’t tell the difference between itself and others and has no concept of past, present, or future. That timeless, objectless part of your brain receives what you’re giving because it doesn’t know whether it’s going out or coming in. If you care for and give to another person, their brain can’t tell whether it’s you doing it to them or if they’re doing it to themselves. The brain always receives what it gives.

Harvill Hendrix

Author/psychologist

What this means to you as a persuader is this, when you copy another person, when you move into deep rapport with them, their brain can’t tell the difference between you and them. This is heady stuff I know, but I’ve been doing this for years. I can and have walked up to another person and started a conversation with them as if I already knew them. I quickly move past any resistance and get to know about them in less than a minute. Within five minutes they’re telling me things about themselves they would usually only tell a long standing, trusted friend.

Why is it that women are so much better than men at forming and maintaining

connections with others? Apart from their superb social conditioning

highly developed speech centre in the brain

their right and left hemispheres

their

and better connections between

there’s something else going on.

Women connect using a number of very subtle strategies. All of these are related to an ‘energy’ exchange. These are best shown during my live events so you can clearly see how another person is affected by how you use your energy when you’re with them.

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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There is a mass of research that backs up this concept. In fact I don’t recall who said it, but here is a great quote, ‘There’s nothing as practical as a good theory.’ Watch the film ‘What the bleep do we know’ for insights.

I practised and still do the energetic rapport strategies and I’ve had some fantastic results with it.

Now, if I can do this, so can you. Especially with the exciting new strategies I'll be revealing to you when we meet up in person. Until then here are some more useful, instant rapport strategies that only work.

There are four core motivators, getting the things we want, having great relationships with others, learning new things and keeping all that we have. Let’s look at these in order.

The need to acquire

We all love to acquire new things. We are a nation of consumers well trained by advertising of all kinds.

The need to continually learn

We love to learn about the things that interest us. The news is massive business worldwide. It’s constantly bombarding us with things we didn’t even know that we didn’t want to know.

The need to make connections

Another compelling motivator is bonding with people, making friends, having love relationships and being a member of a group of likeminded people.

The need to protect ourselves

But over and above all of these is the need to defend what we have acquired, what we’ve learned or what we believe in, and our relationships. This survival instinct runs deep within us.

I’m going to come back to these four dominant motivators a bit later and after that you’ll have a clear path, an exact model, a concrete understanding of the ways in which people are persuaded and how you can get more people to do more of what you want.

The model I’ll be introducing you to later has four parts. In the centre is ‘Defend’ because at the outset of all persuasion attempts people look to defend, resist or reject anyone who comes across as ‘shady.’

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Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

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Chapter 2 Motivating Emotions

Now we’re going to explore the four core motivations and drives. As we do keep in mind that these affect you too, at such deep levels that you may even want to take notes here, to keep you detached while you make some profound discoveries.

Just to recap on what you read earlier…

The first core motivation is to DEFEND ourselves from harm, trickery, or deceit. The second is to BOND with other people, we love to belong to groups, families and clubs. The third is the fact we like to LEARN about new things and how they can make our life better. Then and only then do we look to the fourth core motivation - ACQUIRE - we decide to own certain things to enrich our experience of life.

To plug into these four core motivators in a powerful way you must have a mental model to work with. This allows you to easily dovetail, fit in and align yourself perfectly with these four core motivations, so you can persuade with precision every time.

In this book we'll be taking an in-depth look at each of the four core motivations and the mental map we’ve created known as the ‘Persuasion Equation.’ For the first time you get a real, solid, reliable understanding of how to persuade someone.

You'll soon see from the first diagram that DEFEND is at the centre of the four core motivations. This is because if we perceive any kind of threat, we want to defend ourselves.

Diagram one The Four Core Motivators

I see defence as contracting inwards and growth as expanding outwards. When we contract inwards, it’s a stress reaction that triggers our flight or fight mechanism.

When this happens to someone you’re trying to persuade, it’s because of something you said or did. Now you have issues relating to rapport or bonding that must be resolved quickly, so you can both move forward in the persuasion process.

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in the persuasion process. Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved. www.writelikethemasters.com Page 21

As a persuader you see that the person you’re persuading is trying to PROTECT themselves from con-artists and the like. So from your perspective (see diagram 2) you want to make sure you have integrity before you begin to persuade.

Honesty shows through. People have really good bullshit detectors these days and can see through most deceivers. This is the one characteristic that sets you the professional persuader - apart from all the 'wannabe ' temporary persuaders who lie for a living.

Did you know a politician is the only person who can tell a lie and prove it? That’s the trouble with politics today and the public see through it.

So what I’m saying here is that DEFEND and PROTECT are the same thing. You as the persuader should concentrate on your ethics so you never trigger this core emotion.

Okay, you are going to get objections even if you’re impeccably honest. All forms of objections can cause the buyer to defend and protect their position. However, if the buyer is concerned about any issues during their time with you they may appear to be defending, but in reality they are only looking for reassurance from you.

At this point they are buying into what you’re saying and in their mind they are testing your integrity. If you pass you win if not, go back to work on your integrity. From the perspective of the person you’re persuading, the sequence starts when they see no real reason to defend themselves. They naturally want to bond with you, the persuader. Once bonded sufficiently, the next logical step is to learn about what the persuader has to offer and see if it fits with their mental construct of what they desire. If it does, they will want to acquire it.

So, to persuade someone to your way of thinking you can easily use the Persuasion Equation as your mental model. Only this time the sequence starts when you connect with them. Because the person you’re persuading has to let down their defences first.

In the Persuasion Equation we focus on the word Protect, although it means the same thing, it’s easy to remember the sequence as it rhymes, like this:

Protect Connect Inject Accept

I‘ll come back to this in just a minute to explain how it works. Before I do I want you to understand that once you have mastery with covert persuasion you can use advanced strategies. These will prevent anyone from even thinking of protecting themselves, giving you more opportunities to get what you want from

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them. This could be money, love, sex, compliance if you’re a boss or married and you want your other half to do something, a parent persuading their kids or anything your heart desires.

Phase one

If you’re reading this book because you’re in sales and you want to improve your performance, then the next section is especially for you. In fact, you can use all of what you read here in this book to dramatically increase your income.

As a salesperson the best way to disarm the defences of other people is to not look like a typical salesperson. If you do, the buyer will see you as a predator and will see a need to protect themselves. And as you know, everyone loves to buy but hates to be sold.

Diagram 2 - The Persuasion Equation

Now, here’s an anomaly for you if you’re in sales. You may have heard the saying 'all buyers are liars.' What I’ve come to realise over my 23 years in sales is this, there are either buyers or liars.

What's the difference? You can't offend a buyer but you can offend a liar. Liars are easily offended. There’s a new saying I want you to always keep in mind. 'A liar never buys and a buyer never lies.'

Have you ever noticed that you can’t offend a buyer? If you do something wrong and admit it, they instantly forgive you.

I was 24 hours late for one appointment, the couple didn’t mind and they still bought, because I told them the truth. Liars are easy to spot at the beginning of the persuasion process. Here’s how: You can’t get them to comply with a small request. If the person you’re with doesn’t move quickly into being compliant, you’ll find it very difficult to persuade them.

These types of people aren’t going to buy, they know it and so they are defensive and protective, that’s why they don’t comply with you. They may not have the money and are just ‘tyre kicking.’ They may be protecting their friend or a family member who is weak and vulnerable, so they assume the role of the buyer to look into what’s on offer.

Usually these kinds of scenarios occur when selling in the home, but they can crop up in B2B sales too. In direct sales, where the seller goes into someone’s home,

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many salespeople try to get compliance early by asking for a drink of water or a cup of coffee. Hey, people know this one, it’s old hat. Let them offer you something, that’s far smoother and helps them bond with you and your acceptance of their offer helps build a stronger connection with them.

Phase two

As I was saying earlier

'Defend' phase they want to Bond with you. Using the Persuasion Equation gets you past their need to protect against someone they think could harm them, and naturally moving on to the connection phase.

once the person you’re persuading lets you past the

In diagram 2 you are proactive, that’s why we use the word 'Connect.' But in diagram 1 they are reactive.

That’s why we use the word ‘Bond’ because this happens all the time without them thinking consciously about it. Whereas we are actively engaged in persuading.

You’ll reach the 'phase 2' stage much quicker and easier by using certain types of advanced rapport strategies to instantly connect with people. Everyone knows that people buy from people who like them and who are like them. The idea is to become so like them that they can’t tell where they end and you begin. There’s such a strong blending of personalities, they cannot resist you, because they can’t resist themselves.

Phase 3

Once you have strong rapport you go to the ‘inject’ phase of the Persuasion Equation.

The reason I’m using this word ‘inject’ is because your goal is to inject yourself and your ideas into their mental world, that is to say, their view of the world.

Persuasion is a ‘patriarch’ or male approach to life. All businesses are patriarchal in nature and all homes are matriarchal in nature. The home welcomes people in, nurtures them, and caters for their well-being. A business, by its very nature, goes out into the world advertising, marketing, selling, thrusting and injecting itself into people’s lives to make them better in some way.

Everyone makes a picture in their minds of what they expect to happen, even if it’s outside of their awareness. So you have them imagine your outcome is already a part of their picture!

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Covert suggestions in the form of advanced language patterns are the way to inject yourself into someone’s mental picture. As you move into phase 3 you’re injecting yourself into their world, so it’s better to position yourself as an authority figure.

Okay, let’s get clear on the word 'authority.'

We are all a part of society. Some of us have higher social standing than others.

Doctors are typically higher on the social ladder than builders. These positions may change however. If a doctor is having an extension built, for example, then he may defer to the authority of the builders expertise.

What this means is, one person is in a ‘one up’ position and the other is in a ‘one down’ position. Yes, the person who has the authority is the one in the one up position. So, unless you can get to a one up position or at least to equal, you can’t persuade. If you’re one down then you have to supplicate. I don’t know about you but I hate to beg for anything.

In Chapter 4 we’ll explain this further where we talk about the four different marketplaces. Each marketplace has a separate set of rules and they are always viewed from the perspective of the buyer.

We call this 'psychographics.' It’s the study of the mental habits of all types of buyers.

Please note, when we say ‘buyers,’ we mean anyone who you want to persuade. So if you're not currently working in sales, please substitute the word buyer for someone you want to persuade. If the person you’re trying to convince isn’t willing to learn, or as in the Persuasion Equation, allowing you to inject yourself into their picture of what they want from you, then you may not be in a position to persuade. Keep in mind, all learning comes from people who are in a one up position of authority. This is how they inject themselves into your mental model of the world.

Phase 4

In this phase the person you’re persuading is accepting you. Once they ‘buy’ you, they’ll buy from you.

There are only two choices in the end, accept or reject. If you get any strong objections at the end of your persuasion, it’s because they reject you. By the way, rejection can take place anywhere in the model.

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The better you are at persuasion the less likely you’ll find yourself outside of acceptance. No one likes rejection and you can avoid this as you learn more about persuasion at one of our live events called ‘Unlocking the Mind Code.’ Attending one of these live events puts you in the driving seat of persuasion making you unstoppable.

On the next two pages is a visual description of both models. Notice how the two meld together in your mind to allow you to quickly use these to your advantage in every persuasion encounter.

This model is designed to allow you to consciously understand where you are at every stage of the persuasion process. Later your unconscious mind will drive this process for you outside of your awareness. Like driving a car, half the time you don't recall the journey, but you always arrive at your chosen destination.

Isn't your mind amazing? It works by habit mostly. When you, like me, have the habit of consistently influencing others to do what you want, when you want, anytime you want, your life will be so amazing you'll have to check from time to time that you're not dreaming!

The joy of persuading others to do what you want them to do is better than almost anything else you can experience. Here is a secret for you that I’ve never told anyone but you, my reader. People love the experience of being persuaded more than you love to persuade them. I know this sounds a little strange at first, but hear me out.

Persuasion is like seduction in that there are two sides of the coin we all engage in. Study after study proves that right after we buy something, we want to buy the exact same thing again because the experience was so enjoyable,

Why? Well cast your mind back to one of the four core motivations - the need to acquire.

Now as you move forward in your learning, you continue to connect with me through my words and acquire more know-how in persuading powerfully.

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Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved. Diagram 3 for rapid learning reasons we've

Copyright © 2012 Clive Cable All Rights Reserved.

Diagram 3 for rapid learning reasons we've included this

mental model people adhere to whenever someone attempts to persuade them about anything. You use it too. In diagram four we'll show you the entire mental model of the Persuasion Equation - everything else fits into it.

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Diagram 4 First use the various rapport strategies ranging from the simple to the most

Diagram 4 First use the various rapport strategies ranging from the simple to the most sophisticated. Next get the person's criteria and values which are their real motivations for buying. Then inject 'you' into their motives and like

magic - they buy.

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Chapter 3 The Need to Protect

At the core of our being is survival. It's our oldest and most primitive need or instinct. All forms of distress including chronic (on-going) and episodic (momentary) stress stem from the need to continue living.

(momentary) stress stem from the need to continue living. The First Hurdle of Persuasion The ‘Protect’

The First Hurdle of Persuasion

The ‘Protect’ motivation is the ‘flight’ - run away from or stay and ‘fight’ mechanism. This is not just physical, but also mental attacks on things like our self-esteem. These can cause a negative reaction.

However, not all ‘defend’ strategies are negative. The positive side of the Protect reaction can be to protect useful accomplishments, or defending against making irrational changes in relationships, jobs, place to live and similar situations.

We defend our family, our choice of work, our friendships, beliefs, possessions, and the way in which we live. The classic view of defend is the win/lose scenario where you might be on the losing end of the equation.

This is especially true if you are being persuaded, what you want is a win/win and if you're the persuader you're best strategy is also win/win.

Buyers are aware there are sales people who smell of ‘commission breath.’ This causes a buyer to contract inwards and protect themselves with stalls and objections.

Your first goal is to tread carefully in such a way that the ‘Protect’ trigger is not activated.

As everyone is concerned about their security and protecting it at all costs, your first strategy is to create comfort, so this part doesn't awaken. If you’re familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, Protect is at the bottom of the pile as pure survival, however, we are talking about more than that here.

When we’re not out acquiring new things in our lives we tend to protect what we have. All maintenance of buildings, relationships, mechanical things like cars, are a part of this protection and preservation of what we have.

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Also, when we want something extra in our lives we still have to protect ourselves against unscrupulous people. Why do you think women are so cautious when being chatted up by someone they don’t know?

If you can’t get past this natural instinct then you won’t get far in any persuasion situation.

Another truism is that there’s always a sale when a buyer meets a seller. The seller convinces the buyer to buy, or the buyer convinces the seller of all the reasons why they shouldn’t buy.

The latter is the protective mechanism in full swing. At the beginning of any interaction there are antennas up and emotions are running high. Create comfort and familiarity fast or prepare to walk. By the way, the word familiarity comes from the word ‘family,’ which means familiar.

People agree with people who agree with them. People like people who look like they look, sound like they sound and do the same things as they do.

The way you dress is essential to your success. The best way to dress, is to dress the way the person you’re persuading dresses. Now, if you’re a man I’m not asking you to cross-dress because you’re influencing a person of the female persuasion!

The one thing I can tell you that doesn’t work and that’s to dress like a typical salesperson. I’ve trained people who earn in excess of £75,000 a year as 'commission only' salespeople and none of these people dress like a salesperson. They are never smartly dressed and for the most part they look a little on the scruffy side.

But that works for them, because it lowers the defence barrier of their prospects who feel they don’t need to protect themselves from this person.

Most people use what’s known as an ‘unconscious hello’ strategy. This is a signal that is sent out ahead of saying the word ‘hello.’ It’s like a fax machine sending out its high pitched signal. It’s looking for a similar reply to see if it’s ‘friendly.’ If it finds another fax machine with a similar greeting it will communicate, if not it won't.

It’s the same with you. I bet you didn't know you have an unconscious strategy for greeting someone, did you?

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People are always looking to see if you are a ‘friendly.’ This means that they have a secret way of using an unconscious type of coding to check instantly whether they like you or not.

This useful strategy of recognising and playing back someone’s unconscious hello will disarm the defence mechanism of virtually anyone you’ll meet. So how does this work?

Watch how people greet each other and you’ll be fascinated. They have a strategy they use before they say the word ‘hello.’

For some it could be raising an eyebrow. Other people prefer nodding their heads. There’s a myriad of ways people greet each other unconsciously. This happens a lot even when people don’t know each other

You have to be able to recognise this fast. It’s not something you learn from a book, it takes experiential practice. Once you’ve mastered the unconscious hello, you play the other person’s greeting back to them and like magic - you’re a friendly!

Once you’ve greeted someone using this unconscious hello strategy, you are ready to go into the ‘connect’ phase of Persuasion Equation. That's what you'll discover in the next chapter.

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Chapter 4 The Need to Connect

At this stage your goal is to build strong rapport fast. Most people are highly motivated to bond and connect with others to ensure their continued survival. Look at babies for the best example of this. They instantly bond with their mothers. Almost all people love to belong to groups, be a member of something, and be in a love relationship.

The power of stories

Let’s change the subject for a minute or two. In hypnosis the hypnotist will usually go into a trance himself before hypnotising his subject. You may think that’s a bit weird until I tell you why.

The answer is really simple

that by going into a trance you’ll follow him in.

he knows

The Magic of Rapport

I remember watching a video of the best hypnotherapist that ever lived. His name was Dr. Milton Erickson. He could literally hypnotise people by tapping his index finger in time with the subject’s breathing. Then he would slow his finger movements down and the person would go into a trance.

Anyway, back to the video. Milton had two subjects to hypnotise, one was Mondi. The other person was hard to hypnotise so Dr. Erickson had him watch as he hypnotised Mondi, it wasn’t long before the man watching went into a deep trance.

I’m not suggesting you hypnotise people quite like this, but that’s where we’re heading when we explore the suggestion patterns later.

The way to use and learn from Dr. Erickson is to talk about yourself first when you want to connect to another person and they will in turn talk about themselves. The best way to talk about you, is through a story. There are three story formats you can use to bond deeply with another person, the third of which we will explore in this chapter.

This third story format is known as the ‘us versus them’ - the theme of the common enemy. When you look at history, four major crossovers occurred as we evolved. These crossovers were all down to who had the information and who

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controlled it. What I mean by crossover is when we, as a human race, crossed over from one type of society to another.

When we learned how to speak we formed tribes. You belonged to this tribe, not that tribe. The elders controlled their tribe by the force of their words and the information they held.

All knowledge was handed down from father to son, mother to daughter, by the spoken word. These tribes were earliest example of communicating through words the ‘us versus them,’ strategy. So you can see how this is firmly fixed in our culture.

The second crossover

Then a breakthrough occurred. We found a way to capture words and set them in stone to preserve knowledge. This was the beginning of organised religion. The scribes wrote the word of God. Every village had one Bible and that was owned by the vicar who wielded his power over his flock (or tribe) depending on your religion.

We really hadn’t evolved that much, just a touch more sophisticated.

The printing press created the third great crossover. Now, with books being printed, people had their own Bibles and didn’t need the vicar to tell them how to talk to God. Their liberation through the printed word began the demise of religion around the world.

That was the start of politics. Still tribal

It’s the same tune with the same words, except someone else is singing.

still slandering off the opposite side.

How can you use this powerfully subtle way of influencing? Simply by aligning yourself with the person you’re persuading against their enemy you are bonding together against a ‘common’ enemy.

Take Christianity, without the devil it wouldn't exist. The theme of the common enemy is a powerful place to start the bonding process. Where do you and your buyers or anyone you want to persuade have an enemy in common? Find this and use it early in the persuasion process to get people liking you.

The 101% strategy

To gain acceptance you can use to 101% strategy. That is, find something about them, the 1% you can agree with and agree with it 100%. This only takes a little practice as most of us in the western world have similar values and beliefs.

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Compliance

It’s human nature to comply with requests from people we like. In this connection phase what you’re really after is compliance. If you can’t get this, you can’t inject yourself into their world. We all like to comply with reasonable requests because it makes us feel good and we know that the other person owes us a small favour when we want it. If you’re a parent, you know how difficult it is to say “No” to your kid. And why do you love your kid? Because he or she reminds you of YOU! Unconsciously automatically we take a shine to people who remind us of ourselves.

Be like a mirror

Other strategies - for quick bonding - are to mirror various aspects of the person

you are persuading. One of them is where you do what they do

they move, as if they were looking in a mirror. Now this takes practice and lots of it. In my live workshops I get people to copy the other person unknowingly. I’ve worked out a nice way of using this by splitting the group into two.

move when

One group (Lets call them group B) leaves the room while I instruct the group that stays (group A). Then I invite the group B back in and group A now uses the strategies I showed them whilst the other group were out of the room.

The funny thing is group B never gets it. They know something’s happening. They say, after the other person spoke with them, they feel good but don’t know why. At this point at the workshop everyone begins to pay close attention. They now know for certain I have something different, something unique and something powerfully effective.

After all you only want what works, don’t you?

It’s so surprising that something this simple can have such a profound effect on the way we connect with others, but if you look at two people in love they are doing this all day long. It’s as if it’s programmed into us from birth, part of our natural mind coding. But wait there’s

Other methods

You can even mirror their facial expressions, they never notice this one. Smile when someone smiles, frown when they frown. In fact, there is a whole science on facial expressions and what they mean, but that’s way beyond the scope of this book.

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However, you can mirror people’s voice, tone and speed. This also takes time and there’s a particular way of practicing this so it becomes as natural as breathing.

People understand information at the rate at which they speak, so speak at the same rate and you instantly become their friend, keeping the defend trigger switched to off. Once you've created rapport you can now lead the person you're persuading in the direction you want them to go.

Relaxation and Integration session one

The next chapter we look at getting into deep rapport with those you want to influence. This is the first of the brainwave entrainment sessions that are an essential part of your learning fast. You will be reading the script in the next chapter, but it is even better to listen to the recording for the best effect.

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Chapter 5 Deep Rapport

If you, like me, understand that people are persuaded by people they like and people they trust, then you will realise that what you’re about to read right here in this chapter will cause you to learn, really learn how to bond with people so deeply they not only want to believe in you and learn more about you, they also want to be persuaded by you.

And as you sit or lie there reading my words, allowing your eyes to follow each sentence, focusing on what I am writing you can naturally find yourself becoming curious about what’s coming next. As that curiosity develops you keep reading to discover interesting aspects of rapport building and more. While you’re reading you may begin to feel the feeling of anticipation about what you’ll be learning.

Now, as that anticipation grows inside you you’ll find the more you have been in the dark the more enlightening a learning may be.

So, as you imagine your future becoming more successful, more rewarding, more enjoyable, you can also imagine having more ability in persuasion than ever before.

And you recall the model earlier from the perspective of the person being persuaded. It starts with defend in the centre, and then bond at the bottom left. On the bottom right is learn and at the top is acquire

You easily recall this is the natural sequence a person goes through when anyone tries to persuade them.

Your model of persuasion now fits theirs. It is the equation of persuasion that automatically allows you to get other people to do what you want, when you want them to.

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Let’s look at your persuasion model. In the centre is ‘reject,’ because people are always on the alert to reject you and your ideas. Yes but, is the clue that lets you know they are rejecting you.

Always keep in mind that you must keep this part of their mind quiet so you get an opportunity to influence with excellence.

You move swiftly into connecting with the other person or people by using any of the next ideas.

You naturally become aware of how they are holding their body, which side they are placing their weight and you copy that.

When they move in a particular way you copy that too.

You observe the way they talk and copy that. If they talk loud you copy that for a few seconds and start talking softer.

If they talk fast, so do you for a little while and then slow down again.

If they use certain words repeatedly you notice that and use them when you speak.

If they gesture a lot, so do you, when it’s your turn to talk, not when it’s theirs. And you readily recall these ideas when you’re with other people and practice them in non-persuasion conversations as well as when you want to persuade.

Every time you’re listening to another person talking, look at their eyes as they speak. You notice if they look up a lot they are looking at images in their minds. You talk using visual words like:

look

see

imagine

picture this

it appears to me

brilliant

clear .

colourful

envision

glance

light

focus

lay eyes on

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reveal

view

symbolic

visible

vivid

visualise

point of view.

So remember to remember to listen for peopleswords and recall the words here as you hear me say them to you.

When you look at people and see what they do you can imagine yourself copying them. Picture this, you are focusing on them and they say something like ‘It appears to me that there is a brilliant way to persuade people that, once you understand it, it’s so clear that what used to be dull is now colourful.’ Can you envision yourself in this situation, having a quick glance at someone noticing the light falling on them? As you lay eyes on this image it reveals things you were never aware of before. Now you’re beginning to view persuasion in a more symbolic way allowing the invisible to become visible and vivid perhaps for the first time. Now visualise this as you accept my point of view about how this will easily make you a far better persuader.

Some people when you watch them as they talk move their eyes to the side either left and right, right after you ask them a question they are left searching for an answer and as you observe them looking left and right you realise they are hearing sounds in their mind and you start using words like

Sounds good to me

.

.

.

announce

listen

hear

talk

be all

declare

harmony

whisper

quite

hush, hush

in tune with

loud

outspoken

heard

said

noisy

silent

shhhh

.speak

talk

tell

verbalise

softly

I hear what you’re saying.

You may be thinking to yourself that this sounds good to me when I announce that people listen, and really hear you when you talk they become all ears and declare they are in harmony with what you say. Some people whisper in quiet tones secrets that are hush hush that maybe are in tune with others who are loud and outspoken but you heard what they said as they were being noisy you really

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want them to be more silent you signal shhh speak to me talk to me tell me, can you verbalise softly so I hear what you’re saying

The next eye movements you look out for and notice are those when someone looks down usually to their right or your left. They are getting in touch with their emotions, how they feel about something and their sensations about what they are thinking.

You always notice the words people use and these people use words like:

get a are you catching get the hang gut

get a hold ? hanging

I can’t handle firm got a funny make

get in

catch my or firm gives me the shake on

reach

touch

under the

thumb.

You’ll soon find yourself in the grasp of this learning as you get a grip of what this is all about you can get a hold of the real meaning behind this. You might be thinking “I can’t handle this,” but when you truly catch my drift, catch on, feel this on the inside and get in touch with how this works you begin now to get a firm hold on what I’m saying here. I don’t have to make you get the hang of these or keep you standing around for easier understanding.

Hearing words like this from this point forward triggers an automatic reaction in you to understand how they think and use words like these when talking to them. These people use internal and external feeling words to describe their reality and you easily pick up on these and repeat back similar words to them.

And in the future you may meet people you find different from the ones I just described. So as these people use words that could easily fit into any one or all of

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the categories I spoke of. You pay special attention because they will often use words like

Analyse, balance, be conscious of, one does, one should, call to mind, organise, logical, comprehend, understand, relate to, come to mind, decide, consider, complex, evaluate, weigh up the consequences, plan, process, learn about, convincing, question, sort out, remember, think, study, quantify, uncertain, judge, informed, scan, sequence,

Spend time and analyse these words and find the right balance for you. Always

remember to be conscious of listening to words like

to mind, etc. Find the time now to organise these categories in your mind so you can see the logic as you comprehend, understand and relate to what I’m saying. Later these will come to mind when you decide to use them. Always consider how complex people are and evaluate for yourself which category people fall into.

one does, one should, call

And when you hear these words you immediately recall that these people are defending themselves by hiding behind words you can’t touch. They use unspecified words to describe their reality. You always remember to use these words as well as any visual words you recall from earlier.

These are the people who at first can seem a little resistant until you skilfully connect with them by copying their reserved-ness and taking your time to explain in words they understand so you realise how easily they can and are persuaded by you.

As you become more and more appealing to people your persuasion power increases and you become more like the people you are persuading so they think, believe and feel you are just like them and they can’t resist themselves, that’s why copying them is so brilliant.

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And now as you imagine yourself in conversations with people you see them smiling back at you enjoying your company as they look at you with wonderment. You listen to what they are saying as well as what they are not saying. You hear their choice of words, you stay in harmony with them as you talk, speaking like they are speaking, with the same tonality, the same speed as they speak, repeating back their types of words.

You begin to feel the way they feel as you touch on their model of the world. You grasp their reality and put yourself in step with the way they express themselves. It’s almost as if you are transferring yourself inside their mind so you make total sense of where they are coming from. You surround you and them in a pink or gold bubble. You do this to become intimate with their feelings and get in touch with their dominant emotions.

The more you remember to do this with everyone you want to persuade the more you get what it is you want from them.

You love to persuade people, you love using your persuasion skills everywhere you go and during the time you’re with other people you effortlessly persuade them into giving you what you want. You achieve more of what you want from life now as you begin to remember what you have imagined your future to be I’ll be silent for a while, while you visualise your success using these strategies.

Excellent

already beginning to notice that your visualisations are becoming clearer and as they do you find yourself easily adding enthusiasm as you improve your ability to stay positively focused on your future causing any negativity to fade away, vanishing like a puff of smoke as you keep in mind your good feelings about your pleasurable triumphs and accomplishments you’re having more of what it is you want in life now

I know this is powerfully informative and I also know you are

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When it comes to your future the best way to predict it is to talk about it persuasively to yourself, this persuasion model works on you too. You make friends with your other than conscious mind, that part of you that is mostly outside of your awareness. You connect with what has been described as your full potential self and you use nice tones when you speak inside your mind about all of those wonderful things you want in your life now as a result of developing your persuasion skills and abilities.

You talk to your closest friends only about where you are headed and how good your life is becoming. You feel gratitude for what you already have and the

message from your unconscious

is get is more like that please

You constantly stretch your persuasion muscles each time you talk to someone using these ideas. You are so pleased with yourself now because you are always getting what you want in all ways. Now as we move to the next area of persuasion you begin to talk about yourself by explaining who you are and why you are here talking to them at this time.

Stories allow people to trust you in a heartbeat. It’s a form of self-disclosure that lets people see who you are in real life. It’s what makes you human to them and they’ll begin to treat you like a friend.

Who you are, means what you stand for, your values, and your beliefs. These are just like the person you’re persuading so they like you even more.

You use your storytelling to motivate, persuade, influence and connect with other people.

Your storytelling works for you to establish trust and connect instantly… favourable… emotionally.

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The ‘why you are here’ is the part of your story that lets others know why you do

what it is you do and the difference you make to people’s lives. You could

demonstrate how you were wronged in the past and how you made good. You

could set yourself up as the ordinary guy who was reluctant but became a hero.

Other less skilled people try to persuade without these kinds of stories, but you

always remember to use them to capture people’s hearts and convince them you

are trustworthy. As you tell your story you also talk about a common enemy. A

common enemy is one where you and they form an alliance against someone,

something or a set of circumstances you both are against.

The story lines, the hometown boy makes good, the reluctant hero and the ‘us

versus them’ combined make for a powerful you. And as people listen to you,

you engage them, mesmerise them and hold them spellbound with your

wonderful stories. Your conscious mind might already have some ideas of where

you will use this while your unconscious mind handles the job of doing it

correctly.

Kelvin’s story

Here is an actual example of a true story I wrote for one of my clients.

“In 2002 I had my own successful business working in and around London as an IT consultant. Although the driving was a bit of a pain at times, life was pretty good for me.

Work came easy as I was with a specialist IT Company. All I had to do was show up, troubleshoot and I got paid.

Okay, I admit people labelled me as a geek, but I didn’t mind because of the money I earned.

And I was living in London where the night life was great.

When I wasn’t working I would start the day with a visit to the gym for a good work out, which gave me the excuse to party until late.

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Weekends I would meet up with my girlfriend Mandy in Dorset. I love being with her and by the sea.

I had the best of both worlds.

I love snorkelling and windsurfing so my plans are to move down to Bournemouth. Life couldn’t have been better, I had everything I wanted.

Mandy and I loved to go out to the country. We love walking and eating in nice places.

One town we really like is Gillingham in Dorset.

There’s a place there we visit a lot.

One night I was there on my own having fun talking to a friend after the pubs had closed.

The next thing I knew I was on the ground

I was hit from behind.

The force of the blow caused me to spiral around and down to the ground injuring my knee, arm and head.

When I opened my eyes I saw my friend tackling someone to the ground.

It must have been the guy who hit me.

I went over to help.

It was then I noticed blood dripping on the guy we were struggling with.

I realised this was more serious than I originally thought. I felt my hand shaking

my head throbbing

My Army training told me I didn’t have much time. My reaction was to call the police.

Lucky for me they were in Shaftesbury, a nearby town, and were soon on the scene. They quickly arrested the thug.

I was rushed to the nearest hospital, blue lights flashing and everything.

We got to the hospital fast. I had 15 stitches to the gaping hole in my head.

They kept me in for observations and stuff and I went back to Mandy the following day and told her what happened.

She was visibly shaken that this could happen to me in a sleepy north Dorset town.

The following year, around March time, I became aware of a throbbing in my hand

dazed and in pain.

I must be going into shock.

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and arm, and like a typical man I ignored it.

But it kept getting worse.

By September I lost the use of my right arm and the pain was excruciating. It was as if my arm did not belong to me anymore.

I couldn't think clearly.

I couldn't sleep.

I panicked.

Medical tests drew a blank

there was no help from the NHS.

They told me: “I just have to live with it.”

I felt like they had thrown me away like a piece of rubbish.

I was distraught. What could I do? What was going on? Who could I turn to?

I found myself saying “Help!”

Out from the brain fog a question started to form, “Well, who else can help?”

“What else can help?”

I refused to accept that medical science had not progressed to the point where I could get my health back.

Then I thought of the internet.

I was desperate

I'd try anything

And I wanted my health back, no matter what the

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cost.

Complementary health treatments were totally new to me.

So I explored my options.

After trying massage

chiropractic’s

Reiki healing

osteopathy

acupuncture - I finally came across a little known treatment called

AcuScen.

After the first session I just felt a little better about myself. I could move my neck and back a little bit better.

I decided to go for a course of treatment.

As, I continued every week the pain got less… now I’m even sleeping at night.

I remember getting up one morning and grabbing the keys.

With my bad arm.

WOW !

This treatment’s really working.

Three treatments later, I write, with my right hand that doctors had said would never

get better, and it was

getting better.

There I was, holding my keys

amazing.

So now I knew there was hope, I knew I could beat this.

All that searching had borne fruit.

But I was not out of the woods yet.

I started with gentle exercises, the pain in my arm and back went away with regular AcuScen treatments.

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Soon I was down the gym, doing gentle exercises to start with, and then as my health slowly returned I was able to do more.

Each time I suffered a relapse, I could turn to AcuScen.

As my health improved I thought be?”

“I can learn how to do this

how difficult can it

There must be other people like me who don’t know about AcuScen. But once they knew how effective it is, they would jump at the chance to use it.

My work in IT was gone, so maybe I could train and study the body and Holistic therapies.

There were many reminders as to why I preferred computing to body bits, big long words, Latin names, things that make your mind scramble.

It’s amazing how the body works and how it compensates and copes, which we have labelled as stress or disease.

I made the leap from IT guru, with the last of my savings to complementary therapist, specialising in AcuScen Power treatments for pain relief and opened the doors for treatments in July 2009.

I’m almost fully recovered, and well enough to be able to help others who are suffering, have aches and pains or chronic stiffness.

Mandy and I plan to get married soon. She now gives me regular AcuScen treatments that help me cope with life as I pace myself on my own road back to health.”

So, how did you feel while you were reading this story? Where you right there with him?

The framework behind this story is ‘The Hero’s Journey.’ It is THE most powerful framework any story can have. Learning and using this one story idea can and will transform your life.

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The more knowledge you have on persuasion the more successful you will be in life. Developing your skill is an on-going part of your life. While you perfect these skills as you go you’re going to discover a lot of other interesting aspects of persuasion that we can work with together and as you get this unconsciously now it’ll be a lot of fun to continue to put this together in your mind. As your knowledge of people increases, your wonder deepens.

Now as you focus your attention on connecting with other people you can zoom in on their facial expressions. It’s as if you have a magnifying glass in each eye that can detect minute changes in skin tone, lighter or darker. The rate at which people’s eyes blink, if it’s normal you can copy this pattern. You notice when their pupils dilate, when they get bigger it usually means they are becoming even more interested in what you’re saying. Notice their facial expressions and from time to time copy these, especially when they smile. Match the other persons breathing patterns. When they are talking they are breathing out, you do this too. No one will ever know what you are doing.

Be observant, notice everything about them. Use your peripheral vision to see what all of their body is doing and covertly copy them. It’s just like you’ve become one with them, but you are still you with your outcome clearly in mind. You are the same, but a part of you remains at a distance because you want to lead them in the direction you want them to go. You naturally start to move them into what it is you want them to believe about what they should do for you. You’ve built up trust as the other person opens up to you and reveals things about what they are looking for in this situation.

You listen for and hear them talk about their desires and you line yourself up to

be the answer to the problems. It’s as if they have asked you a question about

what action they should take to solve a problem or reach a goal.

Every word they say that indicates what they want you easily recall and play back

to them, only this time you are in their picture of what they want. It’s just like

you are the answer. They can’t have what they truly want without you. You

have them imagine their future without this problem or with what it is they want

and need. You establish your authority, your expertise on this subject and your

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proven way of getting them what they desire. You inject yourself and your ideas into their mind.

The secret of joy in persuasion is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it. You not only already know how to persuade with excellence ,you know how to persuade with the best intentions for everyone concerned and that means you and the other person.

You now begin to move them in the direction of accepting your ideas and suggestions. They feel truly motivated to act on what you recommend as you are like a trusted friend and advisor. You ask them to do what it is you’ve asked them to do for the reasons they are just beginning to come up with themselves that compel them to completely accept your ideas and act on what you are suggesting.

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Chapter 6 Mastering Rapport

Before reading this chapter be sure you have listened to the to the first of the recorded relaxation and integration sessions use the drawing below and see how many ways of instantly bonding with others you can remember. Write one strategy in each of the circles, use abbreviations if you like.

You should easily come up with eight ways of bonding instantly with others. List below the ones you have already used successfully. Also write how and where you used each strategy and the results you achieved.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

each strategy and the results you achieved. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Copyright

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Instantaneous Connections

The Unconscioushello

People send out a signal ahead of saying the word “hello” and they are looking for recognition from others. They may or may not know the other person, but they are looking for a friendly response. If they get it they will follow their initial signal with a smile or something similar. For example, someone nods their head in your direction, you nod back, they smile, you smile, and now, to them, you are a friend.

Shifting weight

People hold their body a certain way. Some people when they sit on a chair that’s comfortable may move their body to one side or another. When you act like their mirror, they become more receptive to you below their conscious awareness.

Moving parts

People will cross their arms and legs or uncross them. They may have particular ways of placing their legs when sitting, or putting their hands on their laps, etc. Copying them as they do it as if you were a mirror they are looking at, is great for connecting. If you want to be more subtle, when they fold their arms, you cross your legs, and vice versa.

Gestures

If they move their hands while they talk to express themselves more fully, you do the same when you talk. Visually oriented people tend to do this kind of animation, because it makes them more engaging and they love to be the centre of attention. (Never copy their gestures while they are talking.) Others rub their legs when they talk, copy anything they do while they talk.

Matching their descriptive words

People lean on certain words to describe their sensory reality. These are visual words, sounding words and internal or external feeling words. Also there is another group of words that may not describe in sensory- rich terms, but nonetheless seem to for these people. Usually they are more analytical in nature than the other three. These are what I like to call non-descriptive words. On the next page write out as many of these words as you can recall in each of the categories.

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Visual words

Sound words

Internal and external feeling words

Non-descriptive words

Now see if you can create one paragraph using a combination of these words starting with visual, then sound, then internal or external words.

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If you like to people watch try this next fun way of learning about others. Go to

your favourite place to people watch and listen to their language. Listen for these categories of words they use and write them down as they speak.

I did this recently. One of my favourite places is the local pub. I was listening to

a loud woman speaking in slow deliberate tones. Here are the words I wrote

down. As you read them see if you can tell which category of words she was using.

Upsets you

taken aback

layabout

relaxed

he can take it

take it

on the chin

how does that grab you?

I went into a restaurant

let’s get

out of here

leg it

he’s just come into the room

let’s go out tonight

are you coming over tonight?

If you don’t feel like it

We can do

something else

kill yourself laughing

how can we get out of this mess?

This is mainly external movement, with some spatial words thrown in. Spatial words are: Under, from above, beneath, over the top, from amongst, etc. They are feeling words, but describe relationships from one place to another. If you find someone using these from among the many other words they use, copy these too.

There are other words people use to describe their reality like realise, discover, became aware of, it just dawned on me, etc. These are another way of using visual words and they can also be copied. As you become aware of these you realise they are just as easy to copy. As soon as the realisation hits you that these are some of their favourite expressions you can easily copy them.

Speed of speech

Most people speak at the same rate as they comprehend information coming from others. If you talk at the same rate at which they speak, they not only understand you, but instantly bond with you because guess what? – You’re just like them. You have even more in common!

People who use visual type words have a tendency to speak faster than others. The next is the sound oriented person as well as the non-descriptive person. The slow talkers are those that have to get in touch with their feelings before talking about them.

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Interestingly, when using paragraphs that go from visual to feeling words, slowing down for the feeling words makes for greater impact.

That’s why practicing this paragraph is so brilliant.

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The Lullaby Effect

There are many ways to create a lullaby effect in other people. But first let’s explore why we want to do this in the first place. The critical/rational mind of another is always seeking to reject you, while protecting itself. Sometimes this is inappropriate. Especially when you are persuading someone to do something that is in their best interest as well as in yours. Let’s say you have a phenomenal product that the other person has already shown an interest in. Then you want to quieten the critical, judgemental mind so the emotional mind can have what it desires.

By practising the earlier paragraph going from visual words, through to sounding

words to feeling words you create this effect. Here’s an example. As you continue

reading these words you see on the page in front of you

you can use these in your everyday conversations. And as you hear yourself talking like this, and the effect you have on the other person as they listen to you talk, you can begin to feel really good on the inside now that they are also coming to grips with the way you make sense to them. This makes them warm to you, as they get a fuzzy sensation on the inside.

you can imagine how

Okay, can you stand back from this and see how it works. I hope so because now it’s your turn:

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Buy a notebook and practice this every day for one week. All you need to do is write two paragraphs a day. Just for fun, read one of these out to a friend and watch how they react. When you read it to them talk slowly as if you were talking in a rhythm. Have the speed of your speech paced at 45 beats a minute. That’s the rate at which a hypnotist will speak. If you want to perfect this (and I suggest you do) buy a metronome. I have a Korg metronome it cost just £19.95 and is worth every penny.

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The Three Story Lines

The ‘hometown boy makes good’ hero.’

the ‘us versus them’ and the ‘reluctant

Each story is powerful in its own right and creates a lullaby effect in the listener.

Stories are part of our lives

story) to tell. We are mesmerised by a good story. We all love to fantasize about being in or having an adventure of some sort.

listen to people talk, they all have a history (his-

Where in your life have you made something good out of a bad situation? Write it here if you can think of a time in your life when you turned yourself around.

Next the theme of the common enemy. Governments use this one all the time. We use it if we’ve been flashed by a speed camera. Families use it. Husbands and wives use it. People getting divorced justify the use of it. Who is the enemy of the person or group of people you are persuading? Can you make it your enemy as well? Write out your ideas:

This one is one of my favourites as it uses what’s known as the ‘Hero’s Journey.’ The Matrix, Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter all start with the reluctant hero. When in your life were you this hero, where you got drawn into an event, a business, a career, a love affair reluctantly at first and then you became the star of the show? Write your thoughts below:

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Now if you really want to powerfully engage people combine the three stories into one. This may take a little work, but wow is it ever worth doing. I’ve used these stories with great effect on occasion. Let’s see you in action.

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Facing the Elements

On the face of it, the face may not seem so important to you. However just looking at the eyes gives you valuable clues as we’ve already seen. These clues are about how people process information through their senses. There are even more clues about how people are thinking. For example if people are looking below the centre of their eyes, it may mean they are reflecting on something negative. On the other hand if they are looking up they are usually happy. Try this yourself. See if you can feel unhappy with your eyes looking up.

Another interesting fact is that the eyes get bigger when people get excited and smaller when they are beginning to distance themselves from you. Please take into account that when it’s dark the pupils will get bigger and when it’s bright they get smaller.

There is more, so much more that the face reveals. However, you can also notice skin colour changes. These indicate a difference in their thinking. You can also tell if someone is lying, this is best demonstrated live as it’s a bit complex to describe in writing because there are so many variables. But it can be shown.

You can practice copying people’s facial expressions. This one always works without anyone being able to detect it…it is copying someone’s smile.

Go to a cafe so you can practice this. Select someone a little way away from you, watch what they do, imagine yourself doing it, then copy them. Especially when they smile. Recently I watched Derren Brown do this in a cafe. He literally copied the movements of another man for 20 minutes. Towards the end he started

making different movements to the man

commonly known as pacing and leading. You pace (copy) first for a period of time, then lead (see if they follow) and see if they copy your movements.

the man began to copy Derren. This is

Soon Derren started a series of yawns

Derren went up to him, whispered some suggestions in his ear. The next scene you see is this man stealing a television set. Amazing the power of what we are exploring here, isn’t it? Pacing and leading at this level does take some practice, but if you’ve listened to the light and sound session that goes with this chapter you’ll find yourself wanting to pace people anyway. And if you love what you do, it will never seem like work. Go out and play with this, you’ll be amazed. As a quick side note: This playbook is primarily focused on gaining rapport through pacing another person.

the man copied and then went to sleep.

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Chapter 7 The Need to Learn

Chapter 7 The Need to Learn The best strate gy to inject you into someone’s world

The best strategy to inject you into someone’s world is to use your expert power. This persuades the other person without them realising. When we were small children, in order to survive we took our lead from the authority of grownups. These take the form of parents, teachers and even our older brothers and sisters.

Scientists tell us our first six years of growing up we are in a kind of hypnotic trance. This naturally means accepting the suggestions of people who have power over us. These authority figures ruled our lives by taking on an authoritative stance. So if we do this we fly

under the persuasion radar of someone we’re

The Effect of an Authority Figure

persuading. Here we can use suggestions powerfully, where they will meet little to no resistance. We’ll cover suggestion patterns later in this book.

Create anticipation

As everyone you meet still has the emotions of a six year old child, they are all still eager to learn something new. Don't believe me? One of the biggest industries in the world is the news industry. How long can you go without watching, hearing or reading the news? Soap operas work the same way, they hook you on anger so you have to watch the end.

way, they hook you on anger so you have to watch the end. Be the authority

Be the authority in their world

Here's what they do to keep you watching: They start a scene and at the height of curiosity, they switch to a new scene. When that one reaches a peak of curiosity they switch the scene again. They do this around four times, then they go back to the first scene and repeat the process. This is a form of hypnosis called ‘nested loops.’ They are short loops within loops that keep you glued to your screen. Clever huh?

So when you go into this phase of your persuasion, unfold gradually and use open loops like: “I'll show you that in a minute.” Another useful method to gain compliance and maintain authority is to find excuses to

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keep going out of their sight and coming back in to see them again. The more you do this, the more familiar you become to them. And they are getting to like you faster than they normally would.

By the way this same technique is the calling card of 'pick up artists.' They take a woman to several different places in a very short space of time, so they fall for them quicker. Also, show good manners when you are persuading, as this sets up respect and reciprocity from them. Here you are creating comfort, trust, compatibility and like-ability. How's that for multitasking ! !

The Four Different Marketplaces

that for multitasking ! ! The Four Different Marketplaces Let ’s change gears here and talk

Let’s change gears here and talk about authority from a different perspective. Many years ago I came across a book called ‘The Quadrant Solution.’ This book revealed through a story, the four marketplaces a business can be in. These four are distinctly different in their approach to the consumer. These are how the consumer sees you and your company.

If you get your marketing message or selling approach out of alignment with the marketplace your potential customer thinks you are in, then they can’t understand you. Worse still, no one buys from you if they don’t understand you.

So here are the four ‘quadrants’ that make up the entire market:

Quadrant one is the new and innovative breakthroughs like the internet boom and the software revolution and any new inventions that haven’t really caught on. It could even be technology that people don’t yet understand like solar panels. In this marketplace you have an inexperienced buyer who does not need the salesperson after they own the product. The salesperson is a super strong closer who only gets one, maybe two chances of closing the sale.

You can put the pick-up artists in this quadrant as they are using new ‘technology’ to seduce unsuspecting (inexperienced) woman for a one night stand.

In the next quadrant, the buyer is still inexperienced as we are dealing with new technology here as well. The difference is, this new technology requires the seller

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to be around after the initial transaction. The seller ‘teaches’ the buyer how to use what they bought.

This could be complicated new software for example. It’s a technical sale with the appropriate backup. Consultants of all types reside in this marketplace.

In the first two of these quadrants the sellers easily assume authority. This is because the buyer is inexperienced. It makes it easier for the salesperson to assume authority because he has more experience. Experts in any field are natural authority figures.

You can easily see doctors bowing to the experience of pharmaceutical reps. These reps are always in quadrants one and two.

In both three and four marketplaces you’ll have experienced buyers who have bought this type of product or service before. The only difference is mainly that the buyer does need the salesperson after the initial purchase.

The salesperson in quadrant three is the ‘champion’ for the buyer. In industrial sales, also repeat sales like office equipment, the buyer relies on extra special service from the seller. Here the buyer can’t tell who the seller works for. In other words the buyer thinks they work for his or her company.

They are usually in a close relationship that lasts for years. The authority here can come from the salesperson knowing the buyers company well and the buyers future needs when he can make timely recommendations.

In quadrant four we have the commodity marketplace. The price and or convenience, the 'come and get it' approach to selling.

In quadrant two the theme is customisation, in this quadrant it’s take it or leave it.

Supermarkets, pubs, corner shops, retail outlets, all belong in this marketplace. The salesperson is little more than an order taker. If you are an exceptional salesperson in this marketplace then you are more than an order taker, but for the most part you’ll find badly trained, inexperienced salespeople here.

In quadrant four the buyer does not need the seller after the sale unless there is a fault with the product. Authority comes from product knowledge across a wide range of choices for the consumer. You’ll see this in electronic shops like Curry’s or Dixons.

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How to find out what people really want

People buy on emotion and back up their choice with a logical alibi. If you don’t believe me come up with a purely logical reason for buying music.

Logic and emotion are worlds apart. If you use only emotion you’ll get people regretting their decisions later. If you use only logic then you’ll seldom get what you really want from others.

Persuaders who understand and use emotion to their advantage go miles further than those who don’t. What’s more, people rarely want to tell you their real motives for doing anything in case you take advantage of them. That’s when they protect and defend themselves. And we don't want to trigger that emotion, do we?

So as cool, calm and collected persuaders we fly under their radar screen and ask questions that reveal their emotional reasons for accepting what we’re offering without them suspecting anything. It’s as if we are hiding right out in the open. We camouflage our questions in such a way that people are not only glad to answer them, but it strengthens our connections and keeps us as the authority figure.

You may have heard that whoever is asking the questions is in control. That means you’re the authority and they are complying. Wow! Killing two birds with one stone or what?

Now I want you to stop for just a minute and start to imagine the kind of power you could soon be having when you know how to get people’s real motives for doing what it is you want them to do. It could be to fall in love with you. While you may not think that’s possible – it is.

All of our subjective experiences, those internal pictures, words we say to ourselves and our feelings, have structure. That structure is as real as any objective thing, like a building. It’s real to the person you’re persuading. That means if you can uncover that person’s subjective reasons (emotional and logical) you can easily persuade them

If you are in any kind of selling this is music to your ears

being able to persuade people at will, anytime you want them to do something they do it. Well, that was the promise of this book title.

isn’t it? Imagine

Before I reveal this amazing strategy to you, I want you to think about why you are reading this book. What’s happening in your life right now that’s prompted you to pick up a book on advanced persuasion skills? And as you think about

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what is important about that to you, let me ask you this: Ultimately, what would having that do for you in your life, if you had it?

You see the reason I bought that up is I wanted to lock into your mind what it is you’re searching for and what it is you’re finding here, so that, as we move forward together, you’ll discover exactly what it is you’ve been longing for that now you can have right here with me, I can make that happen. For me it’s really nice to be able to share these kinds of things with the people I meet through my book and in person.

While I wrap up this chapter, I want you to keep in mind that your goal in this phase is to maintain your likeability. Next, establish your authority in their world, demonstrate expertise. Then make powerful recommendations and if you know how to use suggestion patterns of persuasion start using them here to inject yourself into their world. Their picture should now have you firmly in it. The two are now one, you and their outcome. In other words, you become the essence of what it is they desire.

Once you've achieved these things throughout your presentation you can go to the last stage, getting them to accept and agree to what it is you want them to do. Just in case you didn’t understand the emotional needs section, reread this chapter after you’ve finished the entire book. I did it to you by way of demonstration. It’s no good learning from anyone about anything if they can’t clearly show you that they can do it. Now after the next chapter I’ll show you something you could never work out for yourself. This one skill will help you close more sales, get more of the things you want in life and get people to give you what you want. Go to the Relaxation and Integration session two before reading on.

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Chapter 8 The Science of Compliance

All of persuasion is aimed at getting the other person to comply with your wishes. Professor Robert Cialdini made a comprehensive study of compliance. His book on the subject is called “Influence”. It’s an interesting book, but despite reading it over and over and listening to it on tape, I still found the concepts difficult to put into practice. With that said, I do have a light and sound session on the forces of compliance in the next session. My aim, as always, is to make the complicated simple for you to grasp quickly and run with these ideas.

simple for you to grasp quickly and run with these ideas. Cialdini cited six principles of

Cialdini cited six principles of compliance

more the merrier, right? All of these can be used throughout your persuasion opportunities. The strategies in this section and in the light and sound session are designed to get you accepted first so you can get compliance thereafter.

here I’ve expanded it to eleven. The

Here is the first of the eleven strategies of compliance and my interpretations for your immediate use.

Social beliefs

We are conditioned as children to believe certain things

our society. Right and wrong, good bad, don’t break the law, do as I say, money is the root of all evil, black versus white and prejudices of all kinds. Selfish desires, greed, and its opposite, doing something for the greater good.

these form the basis of

Politicians thrive on these social beliefs and create the common enemy theme out of them.

beliefs and create the common enemy theme out of them. One way to use this to

One way to use this to your advantage is the old saying ‘everything happens for a reason”. So if the person you’re persuading has had a bad experience with someone like you, the best strategy is to say, ‘I believe everything happens for a reason, it’s a good thing we are talking today.’ You could even suggest that, ‘there are no accidents in life, don’t you agree?’ We got together today for a reason and that reason you’re just becoming aware of now as we speak. And you are realising how important it is to move forward with your life in the direction you want to go.’

Can you see how this would work? What this means is that yours and my social beliefs can and are being manipulated. However, doing something like this in persuasion is fine if you want the best for your client as well as yourself.

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There are 10 more of these compliance strategies that automatically get people to go along with you. That is the subject of the next phase in our Persuasion equation sequence. Here our goal is to get a strong connection, then go to injecting your ideas into the mind of another. That’s what social influence strategies help you do to. They offer the bigger picture, an overview, a map of the territory you’ll be navigating your way through.

of the territory you’ll be navigating your way through. As you continue to reading these words,

As you continue to reading these words, taking in this information, allowing it to make sense to you ,it causes you to begin to feel the anticipation of discovering the next step in the persuasion process. And as you feel that anticipation to know more you can recall all that you’ve learned so far. Bringing it to mind makes you feel more confident about your persuasion skills.

And as you feel that confidence, it begins to grow into an expectation, bringing with it excitement that you are learning, really learning, new and powerful skills that will make you more popular. They will make you more powerful. They will also make you more money. Plus bring you all of the things you want in life. Now are you starting to see how having more of this information can benefit you in so many ways?

With that said I think you’re going to love part two because there are so many ways you can get others to willingly go along with you, and more importantly they’ll believe it was their idea all along.

There are a number of elegant strategies for you to use, put into immediate action, seeing fast results as your persuasion ability grows beyond your wildest expectations.

persuasion ability grows beyond your wildest expectations. I’ve discovered eleven major themes of gaining compliance

I’ve discovered eleven major themes of gaining compliance from others. You can use any combination to manoeuvre - - engineer - - move forward with kindness to get the best result for yourself and the person you are persuading. If it doesn’t work for you and them, find someone where it will and your will grows stronger as you set your intention powerfully to help others, because what you give to others you give to yourself.

You’ll discover, become aware of and learn about these eleven global strategies. They will guide you as you use the persuasion equation to move past any resistance, defence or rejection. Obviously you move into phase one using the rapport skills you embraced earlier.

There is no particular order to the 11 strategies. Although liking is crucial to your success in persuading others. The more people identify with you and feel they

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know you through your story of who you are and why you do what you do, the more they allow you to influence them.

do what you do, the more they allow you to influence them. Your likability factor increases

Your likability factor increases every day, whether you like it or not. Liking develops under conditions of cooperation. And that’s where we’re headed next.

You find yourself cooperating with others first so then they cooperate with you. Being private in public, upfront and honest, open and receptive, throughout your time with others demonstrates the next consistency.

Imagine yourself experiencing other people going along with your suggestions

. your ideas

to. Now we’ll move on to the Compliance strategy known as consistency

your wishes

and see them loving doing what you want them

Your consistent manner, your consistent behaviour, your consistent way of being, increases the comfort others feel when they are around you. People love your personality, because your consistency creates integrity and brings with it the assurance you are the right person to be influenced by.

the assurance you are the right person to be influenced by. Which leads us smoothly to

Which leads us smoothly to the next strategy

compatibility.

Being compatible is desirable as it brings with it trust and friendship

as your social beliefs match theirs. This suggests to them you are

like them, because social beliefs are amongst the strongest principles

that get people to do what you want.

their best interests at heart and that forces you to do what is best for both them and you.

People believe you have

What goes around comes around and we now move around to the next strategy, reciprocity.

A reciprocal relationship is the foundation of friendship. Always keep in mind

that both liking and compatibility can be increased by doing small favours and showing good manners. Together with courtesy these make others feel obliged to return these favours, and doing so makes them feel good.

The next strategy is the one of social proof. In our democracy, going against society and questioning commonly held beliefs are not good moves. The theme of finding someone to blame that everyone can agree on lets people off the hook. If you use this compliance strategy by saying everyone knows it’s not your fault, it’s like taking away a

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curse and giving someone their freedom back, knowing they are not to blame for their circumstances.

It’s the common enemy – the Us versus Them, which casually takes us towards the next principle of conditioning and association.

We are conditioned early in life and our beliefs form as a result of associating that conditioning to certain things. We are told not to trust strangers. Salespeople can be seen as strangers, so reposition yourself as an advisor and trusted friend. Use what you are learning to side step being thought of as a salesperson.

Certain stimuli are recognised only by the other-than-conscious mind of the person you are persuading. You now look like them, sound like them, act like them and bypass the critical part of their mind so they trust and respect you as an authority figure.

And that is the subject of our next rule.

authority figure. And that is the subject of our next rule. You quickly, easily, and effortlessly

You quickly, easily, and effortlessly become the authority in their world by first accepting their world so they then accept yours. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to accept their world and have them realise that you have make this your number one priority.

Authority instructs, authority informs, authority takes

control, and leads people where it wants them to go. Everything in the world is

sold to us partly on authority

People give obedience to the authority figures in their lives because of their early associations with parents, teachers and wise councillors of all kinds.

People rely on expertise in our high-tech world.

We naturally move

the next category of compliance, that of association.

move the next category of compliance, that of association. Association links favourable feelings towards you with

Association links favourable feelings towards you with what you are offering. This is known as anchoring. Pavlov did

this with his dogs.

linking the bell to their food. You can do this by asking about a time when they absolutely had to have something. What did that feel like when you were so compelled? Feel

Ringing a bell when he fed

that feeling again now, the feeling of going for

have linked that feeling to you. Then say: now as you feel that, allow it to create a filter with which to filter in what I’m about to say to you so the conclusion is

easy, simple and automatic.

When you do that you

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The next powerful compliance strategy is that of core drives within all of us. These drives are the basic needs of our species. Normally operating outside of our awareness, these drives dominate many of our actions and appealing to these drives is very powerful and goes undetected.

The drives are the need to fight, and stand up for oneself against injustice, or to take flight, to run away, regroup, and fight another day.

Food, the drive to sustain life. Food is a very subtle motivator. Take a person you are persuading some food or out to eat. Special bonding occurs when you eat together.

The drive to reproduce,

Using your sexuality to seduce someone into doing what you want is also something they hugely enjoy. Everyone wants more prestige, power, status, money, and sex.

no one has enough sex they always want more.

Something scary equals flight. Something that implies violence, like theus versus themstrategy, equals fight. Something filling or fulfilling like showing someone that what they suspected all along is true, equals the drive for food and something satisfying. Pleasurable, desirable and sexual equals reproduction. use all four of these and like magic, a person is persuaded.

Let’s move forward to the next compliance strategy

scarcity.

move forward to the next compliance strategy scarcity. Rare, scarce, and similar qualities have more value

Rare, scarce, and similar qualities have more value for most people. The grass is always greenersyndrome is something everyone knows. Wanting what we can’t have is common to almost everyone.

Wanting what we can’t have is common to almost everyone. No one wants to miss out

No one wants to miss out on a once in a lifetime opportunity. Missed opportunities are stories people are always hearing about. The principle of scarcity appeals to peoples’ greed .Give honest, plausible reasons why what you have is scarce. Give a reason and gain compliance. The reason why is so potent to persuasion. it could be your reason or theirs for doing something this bypasses the rational mind and accelerates the process. Use the word in your explanation to get persuasion.

Because we have a limited supply, because we have a limited amount of time we can do this for you. Because we have a price increase next week.

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Your because can extend to exclusivity or rarity. These are all powerful examples of how to make scarcity work and easily gain compliance as you use reasons why in every persuasion opportunity.

The next strategy to include in your weapons of mass persuasion is the power of hopes and dreams. Dreams coming true can drive decisions and actions. The quest for the things you wish and hope for, what you want to become, hats you want to have.

The compelling nature of hope overrides risk and fear, hope for happiness,

success, love and wealth. With high hopes we go for it

brain into having more of the things we desire. The present isn’t permanent, there’s always a better way, the quest for success, achievement and acceptance by others.

pleasure drives the

We wish for better health, more time, financial independence. We hope to avoid our fears and attain our goals and ambitions. These are all strong motivators for action.

Motivations and desires

Imagine you are climbing a child’s slide. As you go up, rung by rung, you’re finding out the bigger reasons, the greater desires, until you reach the top desire they have and then you enjoy sliding down the slide to find what their biggest desire means to them.

the slide to find what their biggest desire means to them. Discovering the dominant emotional motivations

Discovering the dominant emotional motivations that move people to action is very powerful.

People want what they want for their reasons, not yours. Trying to persuade someone to do something entirely for your own reasons, not theirs will always come back to haunt you. Because you receive what you give, what goes around comes around. Use this powerful information for the good of all concerned and not only will you be more successful, you’ll have the satisfaction knowing you’ve done something great in this world.

You only deserve when you serve, in fact the word deserve is made up of two Latin words,” de” and “serves”, which mean, from service.What you are about to learn, really learn, is a way to serve people better than most other people on this planet. You in turn will deserve more than most people on this planet and that’s exactly what you’ll have when you use the information you’re hearing here to capture people’s attention as you talk with them. Listening to them, you’ll get a

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tremendous response from others as you learn to powerfully persuade other people to do what you want them to do. As soon as you can in the persuasion process, discover why the other person is here with you today. Asking the question WHY causes three things to happen. The second is that you are attempting to indirectly get another person to do something. Like the advert says, why not try our delicious coffee?

This is a crude attempt at persuasion. Like the command, ‘why don’t you close the door?’ It’s so obvious that you are trying to get the other person to do something they may not want to do. Now you know this, stop using it if you are. The first reason is that the word WHY makes the other person justify what they are doing, or have done. Here’s what I mean:

Why were you late?” ‘Why can’t you ever do as I say?’ ‘Why don’t you ever do any work around here?All these put the other person on the defensive. Not good. However, there is one time when you want to use the word why, and that’s when you want the other person to justify themselves as being with you now in this current persuasion opportunity.

being with you now in this current persuasion opportunity. When you ask ‘why are we here

When you ask ‘why are we here today?’ They have to justify their position, and guess what? They’ll actually persuade you to stay and listen to them. There are many ways to ask the WHY question without sounding confrontational. Here are some examples:

If you’re in business you might say:” Our marketing department is always trying to find out how they can be of better service to the people who contact our business, so can I just ask you, why did you decide to meet with me today?If you get a flippant answer like: I just saw your advert. Reply with: I know, you and I see many adverts every day, but we don’t respond to all of them, only those that interest us the most, tell me, what’s going on in your life right now that prompted you to contact us at this time?

Notice the use of the term you and I”, that’s done deliberately to take away any pressure to answer this question. Also, we are being respectful and understanding of the other person.

Whatever answer they give you - you move up to the next rung of the ladder we spoke of earlier with this question.

“Okay, that’s interesting, so what’s important about?” (Now repeat the answer exactly as they said it to you).

(Now repeat the answer exactly as they said it to you). Notice here that you will

Notice here that you will be using what I call verbal expanders that soften what

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you are saying. It’s as if you’re their best friend and totally engaged in what they are saying. People rarely get listened to at this level, but as soon as they realise they have a captive audience in you - they’ll talk for as long as you want them to.

in you - they’ll talk for as long as you want them to. Verbal expanders are

Verbal expanders are words that are designed to get people to expand on what they are saying. These include: uh,

I like that

okay

that’s interesting.

tell me about that

tell me more

go on

oh really?

I hadn’t thought of it that

yep

I hear what

way

you’re saying

is that everything?

As you listen to these words you integrate this now and it becomes a part of your on-going behaviour and you feel really good applying this. As you speak, you use this powerfully and easily capture people’s attention when it’s your turn to talk. You get a tremendous response as people are mesmerised when you speak, and you get this unconsciously. Now let’s go to the next part of this sequence.

After that, you ask them what’s important about (their first answer). You obviously concentrate on the next answer they give you and you use the verbal expanders before asking the next question which is:

“Ultimately, what will having that do for you?

This is the answer you want most. This answer tells you if they are moving away from a problem or moving towards a goal or something that they have set their

heart on. One is fixation on a problem

the other is hope for a better future.

Make a person hurt some more before offering the solution because this is what they need to hear. The person who wants to reach their goals is persuaded when you show them how what you have will make their dreams come true.

them how what you have will make their dreams come true. Now you have their highest

Now you have their highest answer, the one you remember so you can use it in a moment.

Now you metaphorically slide down the slide to get more specific as you ask:

“What does that mean?”

So you have gone from the specific to the bigger picture and back down to another specific, only this time it’s emotional. And that’s exactly what you want.

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The sequence once more is,Why are we talking today?” “What’s important about that?” “What would having that do for you?And, “What does that mean?

Throughout the rest of your persuasion opportunity, you feed back their answers, especially the one you got after you asked, ‘Ultimately, what would having that do for you?’

No one knows they’ve just given you all the information you need to influence them. They just get more excited every time you use their answers to move them forward with deliberation.

use their answers to move them forward with deliberation. Have fun with this strategy. Enjoy the

Have fun with this strategy. Enjoy the responses you get. Really feel the connection you get with the other person as you use these skills to make

others happy

things you want as a consequence, and be more successful in all that you

do.

because as you do you’ll enjoy life more, have more of the

I want you to go into the future and see yourself in a current persuasion opportunity and listen to yourself ask each question in turn.

and listen to yourself ask each question in turn. “Why did you decide to meet with

“Why did you decide to meet with me today?” Wait for their

answer. If it’s not an answer where you can use the question

“What’s important about

.?” Then you ask, “yes but, why now?”

Then use any of the verbal expanders that fit before you ask:

“What’s important about

before you ask: “Ultimately what would having (whatever they said) do for you?

.?” Again using any of the verbal expanders that fit

Again using any of the verbal expanders that fit before you ask: “What does that mean?”

Keep in mind that its best not to sound polished or rehearsed, but more like you’re fumbling in the dark to learn more about them. In a way you are using a mini model of the Persuasion Equation. You Bond with them, Learn about what they want, and Accept their reasons for wanting what they want.

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Chapter 9 Social Influence in Action

Read this section of the playbook after you’ve listened to the second Relaxation and Integration (light & sound) session. That way you’ll know for certain this style of learning really works.

Here is strategy one. Liking. Give an example of how to get someone to instantly like you, preferably the one mentioned in the light and sound session.

Strategy two is one of cooperation. Show in just one sentence how you use cooperation in your persuasion.

Now we go to the third Compliance strategy known as consistency. How is consistency classed as a compliance strategy?

Which leads us smoothly to the next strategy

compatibility.

Demonstrate one idea of how you used compatibility the last time you persuaded someone.

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And we now move around to the next strategy, reciprocity.

How and why is giving to another before asking for anything in return so powerful?

A reciprocal relationship is the foundation of friendship. Keep in mind always that

both liking and compatibility can be increased by doing small favours and showing good manners, together with courtesy these make others feel socially obligated to return these favours because doing so makes them feel good.

The next strategy to fix into your unconscious is the one of social proof. In our democracy going against society, questioning commonly held beliefs can be detrimental to ones future.

The theme of finding someone to blame that everyone agrees on lets people off the hook. If you use this compliance strategy by saying, everyone knows it’s not your fault, it’s like taking away a curse and giving someone their freedom back knowing they are not to blame for their circumstances. It’s the common enemy – the US versus Them story line.

The next principle of conditioning and association.

We are conditioned early in lifeour beliefs form as a result of associating that

conditioning to certain things. We are told not to trust

can be seen as strangers so you reposition yourself as an advisor and trusted friend to side step being thought of as a salesperson.

Salespeople

Certain stimuli are recognised only by the other-than-conscious mind of the

person you are persuading. You now look like

sound like

act

like them and bypass the critical part of their mind so they trust and respect

you

as an authority figure.

You quickly, easily, effortlessly become the authority in their world.

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Give two examples of how you used authority in your persuasion.

The next category of compliance, that of association.

Association links favourable feelings towards you with what you are offering. This is known as anchoring. Pavlov did this with his dogs, ringing a bell when he fed them linked the bell to their food. You can do this by asking about a time when they absolutely had to have something. What did that feel like when you were so

Feel that feeling again now, the feeling of going for it. When you do

compelled?

that you have linked that feeling to you. Then say: now as you feel that allow it to create a filter with which to filter in what I’m about to say to you so the conclusion is easy, simple and automatic.

The next powerful compliance strategy is that of core drives within all of us. These drives are the basic needs of our species and normally operate outside of our awareness. Core drives dominate many of our actions and appealing to them is very powerful and goes undetected. The drives are:

Use all four of these and like magic a person is persuaded.

Scarcity is the theme of our next compliance strategy.

Rarity, scarcity, and similar qualities increase value for most people. The grass is always greener on the other side is something everyone knows. Wanting what we

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can’t have is attractive to almost everyone. No one wants to miss out on a once in a lifetime opportunity. Missed chances are stories people always hear about.

The principle of scarcity appeals to the greed of the other person. Have honest, plausible reasons why what you have is scarce, give a reason, and gain compliance. The reasonwhyis key to persuasion .It could be your reason or theirs for doing something. This bypasses the rational mind. Using the word “now” accelerates the process because in your explanation to get persuasion, limited supply, limited pricing, limited time, impending event exclusivity or rarity are all examples of how to make scarcity work and easily gain compliance as you use the reason whyin every persuasion opportunity.

Give an example of how you will use scarcity in your next persuasion opportunity

The next strategy to include in your weapons of mass persuasion is the power of hope and dreams coming true. Show how you can use hope in every persuasion opportunity

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Chapter 10 Suggest-Ability

Language is a powerful thing. In fairy tales there is always the wicked witch that uses spells to curse the unsuspecting hero. It always takes an outsider to free the hero from the curse. Isn’t this interesting? This storyline is familiar to virtually every culture and if you’re the curious type you have to wonder where this concept came from.

All fairy tales have their basis in reality. We are all told this or that is true when we are young. But is it really? Will you have bad luck if you walk under a ladder? The superstitious believe things that make no sense. The idea, for example, that seeing a lone magpie brings bad luck to the person who sees it. It’s great that this kind of thinking exists because it forces the achiever within us to discover the way out.

The clues are everywhere

Language has the power to bind thoughts together like string until they form a powerful belief or strong rope. If you use certain types of linguistic structures, you can literally force the unsuspecting into a confined way of thinking and acting.

Getting people to accept your suggestions and act on them is an exciting, enjoyable experience. So let’s get started and upgrade your persuasion skills even more and as you increase your influence ability you’ll effortlessly boost your suggestibility quotient.

Every blockbuster film has plot points to move the story from one section to the next. In persuasion you naturally do the same.

You plan out where you want the other person to be at the end. Doing what it is that you want them to do. Then you plot backwards where you plan each segue, each plot point, each turn of events that leads the person to the next stage of influence.

The Persuasion Equation is the only model available that allows you to know where you are at every stage of your persuasion opportunity. You recall their model is Defend in the centre that you keep quiet, bondat the bottom left, and you use your rapport skills from session one to instantly connectwith them. At the bottom right is learnand you use the social influence strategies to engineer yourself into the place where you can learn about them first, then they learn about you as you inject your ideas into their mind without any resistance.

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The first plot point then, is a combination of your rapport skills, the second plot point uses the questions from the last chapter to discover their real dominant emotions for doing what it is you want them to do. These as you recall were:

Why are we here talking today? Or why did you decide to meet up with me at this point in your life? Or why have we got together today? And you easily remember to use the verbal expanders throughout your questions to soften any hint of sounding the least bit confrontational. You want these answers, and you make people feel comfortable giving them to you.

The next question you recall is “What’s important about

the answer they just gave you. Then you ask, ‘What would you be experiencing?” (And playback the last answer you got). Wait and listen for their response and before asking the next question use some of the verbal expanders.

.?” here you feedback

Then ask, “What does that mean?” “Or how does that feel?”

And you keep in mind, hold in your memory, remember to remember their answers and feed them back using this amazingly simple, yet brilliant strategy.

You say four things that are undeniable truths as far as they are concerned and then inject a thought that you want them to accept.

Here’s an example of how this may work. To set the scene, imagine you want to influence a woman to rent a house from your company. The woman arrives in your office. After an unconscious hello, mirroring her head and facial movements, you exchange pleasant greetings, remembering to move when she does.

You ask, “Why did you decide to come over to my office today?” She replies, “Well, I saw your advert for properties for rent and was just following up on that really.”

“Okay,” you say, “you know we see lots of adverts every day but we ignore most of them. What prompted you to respond ours?

“I noticed most of your properties were near the sea and not far from the town centre where I work.”

That’s interesting. I like being near the sea as well. Tell me, what’s important about being by the sea and close to the centre where you work?”

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“Well, I like going for walks by the beach, it clears my head, makes me feel more alive. And I have to be on time for work and don’t want too much traffic.”

“Hmm, that makes sense. I live close to town and hate rush hour traffic. Just so I completely understand what it is youre looking for, I’d love to know. Ultimately, what would you be experiencing if you could take those leisurely walks by the sea to clear your head from time to time?”

The woman smiles, “I’d enjoy life more and be happier I suppose.” “Yes,” you reply, I can see that, hmm, that’s a thought worth holding onto. Tell me, if you enjoyed life more and were happier, how would that feel?”

The woman has an even bigger smile now, her eyes light up, her pupils dilate, her face glows as she replies. “I’d feel wonderful, like I’d found the ideal place to live after all this time.”

Now the sequence is complete and you have all your answers. You easily remember them, realising the answer to the question, ‘ultimately’, is the one to focus on most. All of the previous answers rank below this in importance and specificity. The answer she gave, “I’d enjoy life more and be happier.” controls all the other answers. You know this and repeat back as many answers as you can. Recall these now when you need to persuade on purpose.

Your reply could be, “We do have one property that might suit you. It overlooks the sea, and is about a three minute walk from the beach. You’d have time for a walk before work as the centre’s only ten minutes away. So you could arrive at work without stress, with a clear head and feeling wonderful knowing you’ll be enjoying life more and feeling happier. In fact, I’m sure once you see this place you’ll realise how you could feel wonderful about its location and that after all this time you may have found just the right place. Now, do you want to enjoy life more?

When would now be a good time to take a look?”

Notice we have her main reasons for wanting a place like this and that this was a guide, an example of how this works. There are plenty of details to be worked out here, but you are off to a very good start.

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Now we look at this from another perspective using a linking statement that attaches you to their outcome.

The outline can move along like this. Remembering this is a template, you place their answers in the appropriate places.

You mentioned you wanted this to happen in your life right now, and that’s why you decided to meet with me today. That’s the first of the three.

Next you said (give their second answer) was important to you because (give their third answer). The linking sentence is, and as you think about these things you can begin to see that working with me is the right thing to do, and as that sinks in you can see yourself feeling (give their fourth answer), and that is what you really want. Now here is your second linking statement that injects yours ideas into their as you listen to what I say, you find yourself coming to the conclusion that this will work for you just the way you want and need it to and have you feeling just the way you said you wanted to, and that last sentence was the last time you need to use an undeniable truth for this plot point. You continue on with your recommendations and suggestions.

The structure is three statements they have to agree with, either because it’s true in their on-going, observable experience, or is something they can’t dispute. Then you inject something that you want them to accept as true.

Here’s an example for you:

As you become aware of the way you feel as you sit or lie there listening to me while I speak, you can begin to see yourself grasping this concept and using it powerfully to lead others in the direction you want them to go.

Then once you’ve said the first part, you then take the statement you want them to believe, and either repeat it or refer to it. Then make two more statements that are either true or can’t be refuted. Like this: And as you see yourself using this skill with power, you can be saying things to yourself on the inside, thinking thoughts inside your mind that reinforce your learning so you easily recall this pattern of persuasion when you’re in your next persuasion opportunity.

Then you repeat or refer to the suggestion you made and then make one more statement of truth, and suggest a way and make sure they are with you as you do.

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Here’s what I mean: As you use this pattern the next time you persuade someone you remember what it’s like to feel good, as you confidently go out in the world with this pattern firmly in your mind and you easily switch on your brain’s amazing ability to think up one of these patterns for each time you persuade someone.

And as you allow this pattern to be retained, held permanently in mind, to be forever available for use anytime you want and need, you feel the confidence you have about all that you’re learning here .As you hear my words, they are etched in stone inside your long term memory. Now let’s go over the format one more time.

You have three statements of truth like these: As you reflect back on what I’ve been saying you can recall my words, hearing my voice.

Make a suggestion you want the other person to agree with like this: Thinking your next thought can cause you to become aware of why working with me as your guide in learning the most powerful methods of persuasion anywhere is the right thing to do.

You then refer to your suggestion to turn it into a truth like this: And as that thought reinforces why working with me is the best choice, you can become aware of other thoughts occurring inside that blend with your earlier thoughts.

Then add another suggestion like this: You say to yourself, YES I love this way of learning and I’m more than happy to recommend it to people I know.

Then refer back to that statement once more and continue taking the other person in the direction you want them to go.

And as you imagine your friends thanking you for making your recommendation to them, you find yourself becoming even more successful because you know that what you give is given back to you.

The next thing you’ll hear as you conclude that these are easily learnable for you are the two patterns in real time, as you listen to them, follow along and let them be your guide to taking this strategy and installing it for permanent recall any time you see the opportunity to use it.

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As you become aware of the way you feel as you sit or lie there listening to me while I speak, you can begin to see yourself grasping this concept and using it powerfully to lead others in the direction you want them to go. And as you see yourself using this skill with power you can say things to yourself on the inside, think thoughts inside your mind that reinforce your learning so you easily recall this pattern of persuasion when you’re in your next persuasion opportunity. As you use this pattern the next time you persuade someone you remember what it’s like to feel good, as you confidently go out in the world with this pattern firmly in your mind and you easily switch on your brain’s amazing ability to think up one of these patterns for each time you persuade someone.

And as you allow this pattern to be retained, held permanently in mind, to be forever available for use anytime you want and need, you feel the confidence you have about all that you’re learning here grow. As you hear my words they are etched in stone inside your long term memory .Now let’s go over the format one more time.

As you reflect back on what I’ve been saying you can recall my words, hearing my voice. Thinking your next thought causes you to become aware of why working with me as your guide in learning the most powerful methods of persuasion anywhere is the right thing to do.

And as that thought reinforces why working with me is the right thing to do, you can become aware of other thoughts occurring inside that blend with your earlier thoughts.

You say to yourself YES I love this way of learning and I’m more than happy to recommend it to people I know.

And as you imagine your friends thanking you for making your recommendation to them, you find yourself becoming even more successful because you know that what you give is given back to you. Now as we move on, you’ll notice that that was the next plot point in the persuasion process.

All of your persuasion takes place in the early stages, which means that at this point you have connected, you have injected your ideas and suggestions and they have already accepted them but they haven’t realised it yet.

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I wonder if you’ve already began to notice from this point forward all you really

need to do is reinforce, add weight to, and strengthen all of what you’ve achieved this far until the next plot point? You’ll do this with linguistic structures that bypass the conscious critical part of the other person’s mind and are automatically accepted and ready to act upon. Here are some of these structures:

I wonder if you’ve already started to notice

because you are not saying anything direct, it’s vague and done in an artful way.

I wonder if you’ve already started to notice how this sentence could lead another person in any direction you wanted them to go?

this is a great sentence structure

This works so well because we are all conditioned to respond to questions, aren’t we? And asking if someone has already started implies that they have. Ait actually presupposes, or establishes in advance that they have. They can only make sense of this sentence once they’ve heard the complete sentence. Then, and only then they know what you’ve said, and by that time they have to agree with you. In this sentence nothing is said until the second half of the sentence. Your mind is being invited to notice something you hadn’t, by asking and using the powerful word ‘IF.’ If implies it’s opposite. “I wonder if you’ve already started to notice?” Of course you haven’t started to notice, that’s why the word ‘If’ is so incredible because it focuses the mind on its opposite. The last word in that part of the sentence, just prior to you leading them in the direction of your choice, is notice. It’s an awareness word. With awareness words, you are implying an awareness of something they probably weren’t aware of before, but are now, through your suggestion.

How about that? You can do all this with just eight short little words. Is there a defence against this? Yes, they could say, “No I haven’t started to notice that.” And you come back with. ”Not yet, huh?” Now what can they say? You just keep talking because this is sinking into the fertile soil of their mind as a seed planted deep only to grow and flourish into bigger thoughts. And what do thoughts produce? Action! The type of action you want them to take.

I wonder if you’ve started to notice how much fun you can have with these

patterns of persuasion? I wonder if you’ve started to notice just how much more relaxed you’re becoming as you let this become a part of your long-term memory and remember to use it when you’re with other people.

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Okay, it’s clear that you’ve already stored this one away, never to be forgotten, always there at hand when you need it. Can you imagine how easily you’ll find yourself getting more of what you want?

Another great way of using indirect suggestion is the sentence structure, “Can you imagine?” Now you have to use your imagination to discover whether or not you can imagine what I’m saying. How brilliant is that? Can you imagine yourself in your upcoming persuasion opportunities having mastery with these patterns at an unconscious level? Not yet, huh? Well by the time you’ve started to make sense of this sentence you’ll already have locked these patterns into your unconscious mind. The fact that you’ve read this far, and the fact that this is an outstanding light and sound session, and the fact that you have a real interest in becoming an even better persuader means that you have already begun mastering these and the other patterns I’ll be speaking of in just a moment.

And there was our next pattern, similar in structure to the first pattern mentioned earlier about stating common truths. This one is a mini version and it goes like

this: the fact that, (state a truth) and the fact that, (state another truth) and the

fact that, (say a third truth) means person to accept.

and then say anything you want the other

Practice this: The fact that, the fact that, and the fact that, means. You could also be even more subtle and say something like: You’re here today, listening to me talk, and you become curious about what I have to say next. The unconscious mind of the other person is saying, “yes, yes and yes to these statements and so it’s easier to say yes to the next one because the mind is now on autopilot.

The fact that you’re taking all this in means you’re easily assimilating this for using whenever you want people to go along with you. And there was our next wonderfully easy pattern to learn and play with.

The fact that

means.

Once you bypass the logical brain you don’t need to use logic until you arrive at the time of decision.

What happens when you see yourself in the future using all this information? I’ll be quiet while you mentally rehearse these patterns:

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Starting with

I wonder if you’ve already started to notice

“Can you imagine

.”

The fact that, the fact that, and the fact that, means.

The fact that

means.

Excellent, now you’re getting these at a really deep level. When you begin to feel comfortable with these, you’ll use them all the time, but not too much. You sprinkle these in every now and again just to reinforce all the work you did earlier.

The next pattern is “when you really begin to, (and then make your suggestion), then, (and make another suggestion).

This pattern is so smooth because it’s so plausible. “When you really begin to

grasp these patters then you’ll persuade more people, make more money and

enjoy life even more.

The last pattern in this series is “Just suppose.” This pattern also bypasses critical thinking when you have strong rapport with people. Can you see how all of what you’re learning here fits together like a giant jigsaw puzzle of power.

Just suppose you find yourself using these skills now because this way of learning really integrates these patterns into your behaviour and verbal repertoire.

All of these patterns here use the other person’s imagination to see themselves having, using and enjoying what you have on offer.

Now we’ll move to the next few plot points that lead a person into a favourable

decision,

one of my favourite sentences as a transition to the next phase of the conversation

a decision that they come up with seemingly on their own. You’ll use

“Naturally, you’ll become aware of more than enough reasons to move ahead with this today, even if you make sense of just a little of what I say next.”

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How can you argue with this sentence?

There is one extra thing you can do to make this even more effective. When you first say hello to someone you like, you usually use a more pleasant, warmer, and even a deeper tone of voice. This special voice can be used at all of the plot points in your persuasion opportunities.

So the sentence once again is: “Naturally, you’ll become aware of more than enough reasons to move ahead with this today, even if you make sense of just a little of what I say next.”

Now you say this sentence with me inside your mind: “Naturally, you’ll become aware of more than enough reasons to move ahead with this today, even if you make sense of just a little of what I say next.”

After saying this sentence immediately follow up with something easy to understand and talk for a few minutes to allow what you’ve said to sink in and distract the conscious mind from what you’ve just said. Have something prepared as your plot point follow up.

This next plot point when used in just the right place, in just the right tone of voice, and at the right time really has the power to help the other person conclude that going along with your suggestions is the right thing to do.

I’m not an advocate of using someone’s name, but here is when you can use it appropriately.

Many people, Sally, make a picture in their mind of owning one of our cars,

boats, planes, (or

and do this for all the obvious reasons.

just before making the decision to go ahead now

And once again you change the subject to distract the conscious mind while the unconscious accepts and acts upon what you’ve just said. Again, have something prepared to say for a few minutes while the other person is digesting what you’ve just said.

Here is the sentence again for you to remember, keep in mind, recall and use:

Many people, Steve, make a picture in their mind of owning one of our

computers, sound systems,( or whatever you have on

just before

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making the decision to go ahead and do this for all the obvious reasons. Now, you do want to enjoy life more?

Another example: Many people, Alex, make a picture in their mind of owning

one of

obvious reasons. Now, you do want to enjoy life more?

just before making the decision to go ahead and do this for all the

And again:

Many people, Sandra, make a picture in their mind of owning one of just before making the decision to go ahead and do this for all the obvious reasons. Now, you do want to enjoy life more?

That’s

decision to go ahead with your overall offering. Just prior to looking at the last plot point you may have already noticed how easy the decision to use these ideas was far, easier than you thought, to make you even more successful. Now the last plot point: Decision time.’ This also uses the momentum of saying ‘Yes’ inside

their minds as they answer your two easy to remember questions, they are:

very good and onwards we go to the last plot point. The

“I don’t think I’ve left anything out here today have I?” They will say ‘No.’ you then follow up with, “Is there anything else you need to hear today in order to go ahead?They again say no, which of course means yes.

This is so subtle, so nice, and is so low key. All of your persuasion was done in the early stages, so this is merely a formality, a foregone conclusion if you will. You now say, “Great, let’s get you started.” Or whatever is appropriate for what you’re doing. Now if you’re asking someone out on a date you wouldn’t use these two questions at the end. Nor would you if you were at a job interview. You only use these if you are in sales, or in business and you secured a one up position of authority as we spoke of in sessions one and two.

The two questions are, “I don’t think I’ve left anything out here today have I?” They will say ‘No.’ you follow up with, “Is there anything else you need to hear today in order to go ahead?They again say no, which of course means yes.

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Chapter 11 Plot-Point Persuasion

Chapter 11 Plot-Point Persuasion Interestingly, as every phase closes there’s an opportunity that most persuaders miss,

Interestingly, as every phase closes there’s an opportunity that most persuaders miss, and that’s to segue into the next phase. I hope you’re not one of those who also used to miss this vital component that unlocks what I call ‘The Mind Code.’

The Mind Code is the name we’ve given to our live events that show you exactly how to persuade with power every time.

In every film that’s any good there are ‘plot points.’ These are scenes in the film that powerfully change the direction the film is going in and can be a type of a cliff hanger.

They lead you (segue) to the next part of the film. This means the really astute persuader starts at the end of the persuasion opportunity and works backward to fit these plot points strategically into the persuasion process.

If you ask any really good chess player if they understand and engineer the game to go through phases, starting with the opening, through to the middle and end game, they will say yes. Because they know each phase has its own unique set of themes, strategies and tactics.

Just suppose you could do this? How undetectably brilliant is this? It allows you to seamlessly flow from bonding to acquiring, taking the right steps in between. These steps are like an invisible framework.

Naturally, you’ll want to know exactly how to do this and this is one of the many strategies I reveal in my workshops. It’s not really possible to show it through the medium of a book, because you have to customise it to fit your set of circumstances.

The way I do it is through suggestions patterns. The patterns of language primarily use presuppositions that presuppose agreement. People have to go along with what you say in order to make sense of what you’ve just said.

I know this may sound a bit a bit complicated, but bear with me.

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By the way when you attend a live event and I get you to practice, I’ll also reveal

a little more. Did you know there are certain types of sentence structures that

‘hypnotise’ people? These sentences actually plant seeds that grow in people’s

minds, they find themselves acting on them without even realising.

How great is that for a persuader? It does require a great deal of rapport to make

it

work effectively and a great deal of skill.

If

you are the type of person who wants to succeed and go way past your

previous best in terms of more money, more prestige and more time to enjoy a

better lifestyle, you can attend one of my live events.

After you've completed the earlier stages well, the other person will want to accept you and acquire what you have. But you'll still have to tread carefully and keep so the Protectand Defendcentres calm and undisturbed.

This is where all of your plot points earlier have carefully laid the groundwork for success in getting what you want. If you’re in sales, this is where you close the deal. This should be as smooth as a professional skater on ice.

People make far too much of closing skills. Most sales trainers still think that salespeople need all the tricks when it comes to this phase of the persuasion process. But there should be no tricks, gimmicks or magic wands at this point, because the person you’re persuading should by now already want what you’re offering.

Some uneducated and unsophisticated people will tell you to use secret directives like ‘by now’, because it sounds like ‘buy now’ to the unconscious mind of the listener. If you’ve been attentive, you’ll be aware that I used this in the last paragraph.

Did that slip by you? If it didn’t, then you’ve got the point. Which is this, if you take risks in using overused tactics, then you could easily end up not looking good.

If you’re in sales

The easiest way to get the buyer to acquire what you have is to allow them to say NO to you. Everyone wants to say no to a salesperson, but here, your buyers no, really means, yes.

This works so well, the buyer doesn't realise you've asked for the order. They think it was all their idea,

asked for the order. They think it was all their idea, When 'no' means YES Copyright

When 'no' means YES

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and that's the way you want it.

No defence needed.

Now there’s another neat little strategy I recently learned and used to close a difficult sale. If a buyer gives you an objection such as: I want to check out your competition- you sow seeds of doubt like this:

First agree with them by saying words to the effect of “if I were you I might think the same way but let me ask you a few questions.” Now just ask questions that can only be answered with a noor “I don’t know.”

Here you are deliberately undermining their thought processes. You may have someone you know who does this regularly. If they do, it’s a strategy they use called ‘mismatching’, and there’s a great, easy way to counteract it every time it happens.

You will hear objections from time to time. What I found as a chess player is that once I knew most of the ways my opponent could respond to my opening moves, they seemed to play into my hands. Funny that.

It’s the same with objections. I once had a couple who I knew wanted to buy a conservatory from me, but they were stalling. I knew I only had this one chance, so I offered to put the whole thing on the side of their house and only then, if they were happy, pay me.