WINNING THE BAT TLES

THAT MAT TER MOST

C R A IG GROE SC HEL

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Other Books by Craig Groeschel

Altar Ego: Becoming Who God Says You Are
Chazown: A Different Way to See Your Life
The Christian Atheist: Believing in God
but Living as If He Doesnt Exist
Daring to Drop the Pose
(previously titled Confessions of a Pastor)
God, Love, and Sex (previously titled Going All the Way)
It: How Churches and Leaders Can Get It and Keep It
Soul Detox: Pure Living in a Polluted World
Weird: Because Normal Isnt Working
What Is God Really Like? (general editor)

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ZONDERVAN
Fight
Copyright 2013 by Craig Groeschel
This title is also available as a Zondervan ebook. Visit www.zondervan.com/ebooks.
This title is also availablein a Zondervan audio edition. Visit www.zondervan.fm.
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Author LName, First.
The title of the book : the subtitle, if any / the Authors Name.
p.cm.
CIP not yet
available
Includes bibliographical
references
and index [if applicable].
ISBN 978-0-310-00000-0
1. Subject one. 2. Subject two. I. Title.
AA000.0.A002004
000.00dc23

201200000

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission.
All rights reserved worldwide.
Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible. Copyright
1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by
permission.
Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois. All
rights reserved.
Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are offered
as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan,
nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or
any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the
publisher.
Craig Groeschel is represented by Thomas J. Winters of Winters & King, In., Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Cover design: Dual Identity
Cover photo: Alfonse Pagano / Getty Images
Interior images: Dual Identity
Interior design: Sarah Johnson
Printed in the United States of America
1314151617181920/DCI/22212019181716151413121110987654321

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Contents

Section 1
F igh t L i k e a M a n

1.1 Fight Like a Man.......................... 000

1.2 Holding Out for a Hero............... 000
1.3 Be the Man.................................. 000
1.4 We Are the Warriors.................... 000
1.5 Smackdown on the Slayground.... 000
1.6 Pick Your Battles........................ 000
1.7 Fight Club................................... 000
Section 2
S t ro n g M e n w i t h Wea k Wills

2.1 Strong Men with Weak Wills........ 000

2.2 Super Powers............................. 000
2.3 Kinds of Kryptonite..................... 000
2.4 Wander Lust............................... 000
2.5 Crossing the Lion........................ 000
2.6 Pride, No Prejudice..................... 000
2.7 Weak Is the New Strong............... 000
Section 3
S p iri t - L e d , No t E mo - Dri v e n

3.1 Spirit-Led, Not Emo-Driven.......... 000

3.2 Shoot First................................. 000
3.3 Riddle Me This............................. 000

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3.4 Anger Management...................... 000

3.5 Slinging Jawbones....................... 000
3.6 Drowning in Despair.................... 000
3.7 All about Me............................... 000
Section 4
S mall S t e p s , B ig Des t r u c t io n

4.1 Small Steps, Big Destruction...... 000

4.2 One Day...................................... 000
4.3 Step by Step............................... 000
4.4 Dont Taunt the Enemy................. 000
4.5 Hey There, Delilah...................... 000
4.6 Hidden Costs.............................. 000
4.7 Weapons of War.......................... 000
Section 5
F aili n g F or w ar d

5.1 Failing Forward........................... 000

5.2 The Blind Side............................. 000
5.3 The Rising Cost of Regret............ 000
5.4 Just Walk Away........................... 000
5.5 Text Appeal................................. 000
5.6 Pillar Talk.................................. 000
5.7 The Warriors Prayer................... 000
Acknowledgments.............................. 000

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Section One

Its not the size of the dog in the fight,

its the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain

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1.1

F igh t L i k e a M a n

learned how to fight in the second grade. I was walking home

from school one day, minding my own second-grader business. Suddenly, a much larger third-grader, Bo Talbot, loomed
before me, planting himself squarely in my path. Bo was only
one year older than I was, but I was convinced that his parents
had kept him out of school for a few years to be molded by UFC
trainers, bruisers who gave him steroids to snack on between
weightlifting sessions.
Bo grabbed my shirt with one hand, drawing his other hand
back into a fist the size of a wrecking ball. Through clenched
teeth, he snarled, Groeschel, are you gay?
Since it was 1975 and I was only eight years old, I wasnt really
sure what gay meant. As my mind raced to respond, I landed on
my moms one lifelong rule: always tell the truth. Squinting up at
him, bracing myself for his fists meteoric impact, I stammered,
I-I-Im not sure. C-c-can I get back to you tomorrow?
Truth can be a dazzling weapon. Bo was startled by my stalling tactic. He stood there for several seconds, frozen like a statue
of a Greek warrior, mulling it over. After an awkward silence, he
released me and said, Okay. But you better tell me tomorrow.
He walked away, and the crisis was temporarily placed on pause.
9

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1 0 F ight Like a M an

Whew! Mom was right. Always tell the truth.

Trembling, I scampered home and found my mother piling
my dirty socks into the washing machine. My future hanging
in the balance, I blurted out my big question, not revealing
my near-death experience. As nonchalantly as I could, I asked,
Mom, what does gay mean?
She hesitatedthe same way I hesitated recently when my
eight-year-old daughter asked me how she got into her moms
tummy before she was born. My moms hesitation should have
raised a red flag for me, but I guess in my heightened state of
fear, I overlooked it.
Honey, she said with calming assurance, gay just means
happy.
And that was the moment my mom broke her own rule and
ruined her perfect record.
Huh. So gay means happy. That made sense to my secondgrade mind, even if it seemed strange that a bully would ask
about my happiness.
The next day after school, I found myself cornered by Bo
once again. Like an actor resuming his place onstage, he stood
over me, his fist drawn back, using my shirt collar as a handle.
Then he asked the fateful question, drawing out the words for
dramatic effect: Craig, are ... you ... gay?
I grinned broadly, proud to know how to answer. Sure am.
Been gay my whole life. Im probably the gayest guy youve ever
met!
I dont remember much of what happened after that. I do
remember a ringing sound and a metallic flavor in my mouth,
the disinctive taste of blood. I understood then why a cartoon
character who gets hit sees stars and sometimes little birds. Bos
wallop gave me a vivid glimpse into the cartoon dimension.

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Fight Like a Man 11

The whole side of my face swelled like a melon. My head

weighed twice as much as the rest of my body. As my watery
eyes came clear, I blinked there in Bos shadow, his massive frame
still towering over me. He promised there would be plenty more
beatings, every day after school for the rest of my life. Then he
walked away.
At that moment, I didnt feel very gay at all.
When the dizziness wore off enough that I could stand, I
staggered home in shame. My very first fight and I didnt even
get a punch in. Getting beaten up was bad enough. Getting
beaten up for being happy was infinitely worse.

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1.2

H ol d i n g O u t
for a H ero

e love to root for the underdog. We love to see good triumph over evil and courage defeat cowardice. We love to
see righteousness prevail and unrighteousness punished. And
we love a hero who refuses to give up the fight no matter how
impossible the odds.
Right now were starving for heroes. Were no longer surprised when men we once admired and respectedelected
officials, superstar athletes, gifted pastorstumble in a sex
scandal, an embezzlement scheme, or a domestic abuse arrest.
Weve almost become jaded, half-expecting our leaders and
favorite celebrities to be hiding something. Most are, right?
We hope theyll make sacrifices, take risks, and make hard
decisions to do the right thing, but we arent surprised when
they dont. We lack real heroes, and Hollywood fills the void
with a glut of superheroesIron Man and Batman and Thor
and Spider-Man and Avengers and X-Mendazzling us with
their powers in 3D and on Blu-ray. But we still long for someone
to show us what an authentic flesh-and-blood hero looks like.
Where have all the good men gone?
12

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Fight Like a Man 13

I read a book recently that suggests that our culture has tried
to turn the good men into womennicer, softer, kinder, more
compassionate, and fashion savvy. Forgive me for stating the
obvious, but men are not women. (For the record, women dont
make good men either.) After all, God created us differently. So
God created human beings in his own image. In the image of
God he created them; male and female he created them (Gen.
1:27 NLT). Both men and women reflect the image of God, but
in distinct ways.
Im convinced that one of the most profound ways has to do
with how we use our manhood. God created men to have the
heart of a warrior, placing a desire within us to stand up and
fight for whats pure, for whats true. A man has a warriors heart.
You have a warriors heart. You itch for a fight. Thats Gods
design, not ours. That doesnt mean that men should be aggressive, alpha-bully punks. (Nor does it mean that women cant fight
for whats right as well.) It simply means that within every man,
God has planted a divine desire to fight for righteousness.
Think about it this way. There are two kinds of movies:
chick flicks and, well, everything else. Do chick flicks inspire
men? Do they make them want to be stronger, braver, better
men? Remember that Cary Grant movie, An Affair to Remember? Remember when Deborah Kerrs character says, If you can
paint, I can walkanything can happen, right? Have you ever
known a guy to watch that movie? If youre a guy, you dont even
know what Im talking about, do you?
What about in Pride and Prejudice when Keira Knightleys
character says to her new husband, You may only call me Mrs.
Darcy when you are completely and perfectly and incandescently happy. And he responds with, Then how are you this
evening ... Mrs. Darcy? and kisses her on the forehead. And

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1 4 F ight Like a M an

then, Mrs. Darcy, as he kisses her on the cheek. And then,

Mrs. Darcy, as he kisses her on the nose. Again, if youre a
guy, you have no idea what Im talking about, right? Or if you do
know, youre trying hard to forget.
What about Braveheart? Mel Gibson, blue-faced, says, Fight,
and you may die. Run, and youll live. At least a while. And dying
in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to
trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chancejust
one chanceto come back here and tell our enemies that they
may take our lives [raising his sword over his head], but theyll
never take our freedom?
Remember Gladiator? Russell Crowe, in his cool Roman general uniform, spurs his horse forward through the forest, calling,
Brothers, what we do in life echoes in eternity!
For men, theres a part of us that thinks, I wish I could have
been there. I would have fought. You dont have to hide it from me.
A part of me thinks that too. You know why? Because thats
how were wired. Men are supposed to respond that way. A man
with nothing to fight for quickly becomes a frustrated man, often
without a clue as to why.
Fighting for whats right stirs something inside a man. It
makes him want to be not just a man but the man. The best man
he can be. A man knows deep inside himself what God wants
him to be: a hero with a warriors heart.

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1.3

B e t he M a n

few months after my wife, Amy, and I got married, something dawned on her that she hadnt thought of before: she
had married a man. I do things a lot differently than women do.
Wed been married four years when it finally came to a head.
We had just gotten our first dishwasher, and one day I foolishly
attempted to load it by myself. I thought I was helping, but I
didnt realize theres a right way to load a dishwasher and, apparently, a wrong way. I figured, just stuff everything in, start it,
and youre good.
When Amy saw my attempt to be helpful, she gasped. Craig!
You loaded it all wrong!
Wrong? How could it be wrong? We had a little spat, which
ended with her sighing and saying, Oh, Craig, youre just such a
... a man! I thought, Uh, hello! Darn right, Im a man. For years,
scenarios just like this one played out, with her doing things
her way and me doing things like a man. Eventually, shed say,
Couldnt you just do this more like a woman? One day I finally
got fed up. You should have married a woman. Im never gonna
be able to do this like a woman.
Then one time when Amy and I were having one of these
differences of opinion, it looked like it was going to end like it
15

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1 6 F ight Like a M an

always didin a draw. But then my amazing wife said something so profound, it changed my life. Craig, she said, I want
you to know something. Right now, as of this moment, I am
choosing to one hundred percent completely embrace you as the
man that God created you to be. I wont ask you to be anything
else. From that moment on, our marriage improved like you
wouldnt believe.
Let me clarify something here. Im not saying men are better
and they need to lord over women like tyrants. Im not saying
women are better and need to emasculate their husbands. Im
simply saying that were different, and since it was God who
made us this way, thats a good thing. That day, Amy recognized
the difference, and she empowered me to embrace the fullness
of being Gods man for her and for our family. So let me say a
couple more things that you need to know as you read along.
Guys, this book is for you. The last thing you need is another
book, podcast, motivational CD, or even Bible study that tells
you how to be a man of God in four easy steps. Thats not what
were doing here. Were focusing on the core issue that Im convinced will motivate you deep within your heart: being a warrior
and knowing when and how to fight.
If you read this book, you will uncover who you really are
a man created with a warriors heart in the image of Godand
how to fight the good fight for whats right. You will find the
strength to fight the battles you know you need to fightthe
ones that determine the state of your heart, the quality of your
marriage, and the spiritual health of your family. The battles
that make you dependent on God as the source of your strength.
The battles that make you come alive.
Ladies, if youre reading this book, you probably should put
it down. Its not for you.

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Fight Like a Man 17

Put it down. Please. Now.

Im serious.
Youre still reading, arent you?
I understand, and really I want you to keep reading. Just
like I wanted Amy to understand that I can never be anything
other than a man, I believe most husbands want their wives to
recognize the same about them. So if youre going to keep reading, I hope you will use this as an insiders guide to help your
man fight the right battles. And not just to fight them but to win
them. I hope youll empower him to be who God made him to be.
If you do, he will exceed your wildest dreams. Hell blow
your old expectations away. So if youre going to keep reading,
please dont try to make him into what you think you want. Just
encourage him to be the man God created him to be. Simply
recognize that God put something different inside him: the heart
of a warrior.

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FIGHT
Winning the Battles That Matter Most
by Craig Groeschel

Author and pastor Craig Groeschel

helps you uncover who you really
area man created in the image of
God with a warrior's heartand
how to fight the good fight for
what's right. You will find the
strength to fight the battles you
know you need to fightthe ones
that determine the state of your
heart, the quality of your marriage,
and the spiritual health of your
family.

BUY NOW

Craig will also look at examples from the Bible, including

our good buddy Samson. Yep, the dude with the rippling
biceps and hippie hair and a thing for Delilah. You may
be surprised how much we have in common with this
guy. By looking at his life, you'll learn how to defeat the
demons that make strong men weak. Youll become who
God made you to be: A man who knows how to fight for
what's right.

Its time to fight like a man. For Gods Sake, FIGHT.

Buy FIGHT Today