ENGLISH WRITING Thiu nng

Session 9 Module I Instructor: H L V

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OVERVIEW
Review Warm-up Thematic distribution improvement techniques (part 2)
Manner of exemplification Theme-Rheme re-arrangement Cohesive devices

Previously on Thiu Nng

Thematic distribution improvement techniques
Linear idea development (part 2) Application: Vietnamese-English translation

Previously on Thiu Nng

Is this question linear?

Answer:
Principle: Tell em what youre going to tell em, tell em, and then tell em what you told em
Where should you apply linearity then?
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THEMATIC PROGRESSION IMPROVEMENT TECHNIQUES

Linear idea development Manner of exemplification Theme-Rheme re-arrangement
Avoid Vietnamese influence on usage of marked Themes reference switching Theme switching

Employment of cohesive devices

as textual Themes as non-textual-Themes

Linking facilitation
linking scope linking distance linking explicitness
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MANNER OF EXEMPLIFICATION
Use fewer but more elaborate examples instead of a large number of short, under-developed ones easier to avoid thematic disruption
One of my friends unexpectedly made twenty thousand dollars on a real estate deal several years ago. This would seem to be extremely good luck. But instead of investing the money or using it wisely, he bought a new luxury car. The insurance for the car was very expensive. As a result, every time the car needed repairs, he had to pay a great deal of money. Worse still, he was not comfortable driving it because he was afraid of having a wreck. In spite of this apparent stroke of good luck, my friend was not really benefited because he did not respond well to the situation. vs. If a student studies hard for good grades and succeeds in his classes, he won't need excuses to explain why his grades are low. It is better not to start drinking than become an alcoholic and let the drink ruin one's life, cause damage to one's health, and then to go through the pain of changing the way of life and being forced to stay away from drink. Therefore, a person who has good habits will never say that his luck is bad. A frugal man can prosper because he knows how to invest well and accumulate greater wealth. Of course, the person who saves his money and does not spend extravagantly will never say that his luck is bad.
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MANNER OF EXEMPLIFICATION
Examples vs. Rationales
Family can be considered the first school to children where parents teach them how to behave and avoid bad habits. If a family provides good guidance, their children normally become good people. For example, if parents lead a healthy life in harmony, the youngsters will definitely learn good things. By contrast, if parents smoke, drink, and behave badly, they will absolutely affect their children negatively.

these are NOT specific examples. More like rationales. Elaborate with a specific account of someone you know.

MANNER OF EXEMPLIFICATION
Generic rationale-like examples
The important factor of a good person, for example, is her beautiful spirit, not her pretty appearance. Her look will fade away as she gets older, and finally, no one admires it anymore. But her precious spirit will still help people around and make them happy.

In order to make your example more specific and personal instead of talking about a generic, faceless girl, talk about, e.g., a well-known movie star, who already lost her look when she was past her prime but has continued to contribute to the society and do charity works. You can also follow it up by contrasting her case with one of her peers, who, once her look had gone, sank immediately into oblivion.
Possible problem: cant think of anyone specific off the top of your head?

make it up

MANNER OF EXEMPLIFICATION
Generic examples
Trial marriage, for example, is a taboo in traditional Vietnamese culture. Despite this fact, when some of young couples adults do that, they take it as normal and gradually become common in our country.

how to make it more specific? talk about two friends of yours who decided to move in together without a
wedding even though their families are strongly against it (because someone they know did the same and it seems to work out)

It is important for you to AVOID overly general examples, or lists of examples without expansion. (an excerpt from GRE Official Guide)

THEMATIC PROGRESSION IMPROVEMENT TECHNIQUES

Linear idea development Manner of exemplification Theme-Rheme re-arrangement
Avoid Vietnamese influence on usage of marked Themes reference switching Theme switching

Employment of cohesive devices

as textual Themes as non-textual-Themes

Linking facilitation
linking scope linking distance linking explicitness
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THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT
Con ngi phi lm vic nui sng bn thn v gp phn xy dng cuc sng chung ca c cng ng. Khc vi cc sinh vt khc sng da vo thc n c sn kim c trong thin nhin, con ngi phi lao ng sng to, lm ra mi ca ci phc v i sng.
Solution 1: nui sng bn thn v gp phn xy dng cuc sng chung ca c cng ng con ngi phi lm vic. Con ngi, khc vi cc sinh vt khc sng da vo thc n c sn kim c trong thin nhin, phi lao ng sng to, lm ra mi ca ci phc v i sng. Solution 2: Khc vi cc sinh vt khc sng da vo thc n c sn kim c trong thin nhin, con ngi phi lao ng sng to. H phi lm vic trc ht nui sng bn thn v sau l gp phn xy dng cuc sng chung ca c cng ng. Which text reads more natural in Vietnamese?

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THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT
At this period of time, their memorizing ability is really good so that they are able to remember new words of a foreign language. Adults should motivate their kids to study this subject at early age because of memorizing ability.
At this period of time, their memorizing ability is really good so that they are able to remember new words of a foreign language. Because of this memorizing ability, adults should motivate their kids to study this subject at early age.
To take advantage of this memorizing ability, adults should motivate their kids to study this subject at early age. vs. Therefore, adults should motivate their kids to study this subject at early age.

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THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT
However, when the Vedan scandal broke, it was a wake-up call for the whole nation. The media constantly reported on the scandal, authorities took necessary punitive actions.
broke, it was a wake-up call for the whole nation. As the scandal makes headlines in media reports across the country, authorities took necessary punitive actions.

THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT
But instead of investing the money or using it wisely, he bought a new luxury car. The insurance for the car was very expensive.
But instead of investing the money or using it wisely, he bought a new luxury car. It cost a lot in insurance. But instead of investing the money or using it wisely, he bought a new luxury car, which cost a lot in insurance. When should we or should we NOT switch?
When should we keep insurance as the Theme? The old car vs. new car situation

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FUN ACTIVITY
Fun activity solution (a follow-up)

Context:
Ross and Rachel were lovers. They broke up after a big fight, even though they clearly still have feeling for each other. Ross then had an one-night-stand with another girl, which leads to Rachel accusing him of being unfaithful. Ross denied this, saying that they were on a break. And then, they all went away one weekend with a group of close friends. Ross brought Bonnie, his new girlfriend. And Rachel got jealous and tried to win Ross back

Watch the video clip and answer the following question: what does it refer to?
Watch the solution clip Whats the lesson learned? If you cant locate a referent, dont bluff your way through it.

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THEME-RHEME REARRANGEMENT
Vietnamese influences
Marked Theme usage Referent switching Theme switching

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MARKED THEME USAGE

Vietnamese writers tend to use marked Themes to a significantly greater extent than American writers
Trong sn c mt con mo.
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MARKED THEME USAGE

Compared with English speakers, Vietnamese seem to be less troubled by thematic disruption. Vietnamese writers usage of marked Theme more often than not disrupts thematic continuity.
Sng trong mi trng khng tt m con ngi vn gi c nhn cch trong sng th cng ging nh hoa sen trn m ly vn ta ngt hng thm. Xung quanh ta c rt nhiu tm gng nh vy. Ngc li, c nhng ngi mc d hon cnh sng hon ton thun li, tt p nhng bn thn li chng ra g. Sinh ra trong gia nh giu sang tha thi tin bc, danh vng, h khng phi lo lng, bn chi mu sinh.

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MARKED THEME USAGE

If you write by applying the translation method L1 negative transfer
First, learning a second language will easily make young children neglect their mother tongue languages. In Vietnam many young children are taught English alphabet whereas their Vietnamese vocabulary is even not good. Any good reason for using In Vietnam as a marked Theme? When would you use In Vietnam as a marked Theme? However, I believe in the case of young children, a foreign language will do more good for them. While a subject in science requires a quite complicated manner of thinking, a foreign language merely asks for repetition, or imitation, from children.

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MARKED THEME USAGE

Note: Besides avoiding unjustified use of marked Themes that may cause thematic disruption, you may also employ them to maintain thematic continuity.
But no obstacle should stand in the way of responsible investigation of their possibilities. To that end, the work should be funded and supervised by the federal government. Eventually, one of the new generations of do-not-advertise cases will probably end up before the U.S. Supreme Court, but that may take a while. Until then, proponents of a crackdown can brandish powerful quotes from former Supreme Court justices that... With Wolfenstein 3-D, however, you see the action from the on-screen characters point of view. You become the character. Despite the lack of evidence, politicians cant resist blaming the media for violence. They can stake out the moral high ground confident that...

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REFERENT SWITCHING
Referent switching Some examples from my ESL data
Normally, a child learning foreign language early find it difficult to speak mother tongue well. They can compare mother tongue and foreign language, then they find weakness in native language. Moreover, if children learn a foreign language early, they will have more time to learn it better. As a child, he does not have to concern about too many things. He only learns, plays and eats. And it is very good because children can learn to develop both their mother tongue and foreign language. Family is the most important source of support that would help them gain more confidence in ourselves. My mother had to literally wrestle with me every time she tried to feed me. One time she was so mad she put me in my neighbors house.

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REFERENT SWITCHING
Fix the referent switching problem of a passage composed by an ESL Vietnamese learner (10 points)
Spending a majority of their time with friends is one of reasons why friends have most influence on young adults. A young adult use most of his time at school, where he joins his friends in many activities. Through such activities, a child and his peers connect and learn from each other.

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REFERENT SWITCHING
A Sample solution
Spending a majority of their time with friends is one of reasons why friends have most influence on young adults. A young adult use most of his time at school, where he joins his friends in many activities. Through such activities, a child and his peers connect and learn from each other.

A reason why friends have the most influence on a young adult is that he spends most of his time in school, where he joins his friends in many activities. Through such activities, they connect and learn from each other. Could that be L1 influence?
khng b bin thnh nn nhn ca thi quen xu, mi ngi phi c s rn luyn, tu dng khng ngng v mt o c, ch. Chng ta phi nng cao nhn thc ca bn thn v bn b v tc hi ca thi h tt xu. Cc bn cn khuyn bo nhau bit kim ch trc nhng th vui khng lnh mnh.

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THEME SWITCHING
Cooking at home means family members can have much more time together and understand mutually. For example, while my mother teaches me how to treat the family with many tasty dishes, we also talk about many other topics in our daily life such as my studying or my mothers work. Therefore, we have more exposure to become ever-increasingly intimate. Furthermore, it is the best way for people to take a good care of their beloved ones. For instance, my elder sister usually treated me with my favorite kinds of food which she herself prepares at home. That is absolutely meaningful because it proves she loves me very much.

why my mother and then my elder sister?

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THEME SWITCHING
As Galilei brought up heliocentrism again, only a few supported his idea while the majority doubted.

also try to keep RT within a complex sentence for better linearity As Galilei brought up heliocentrism again, it was supported by only a few and doubted by the majority.
I proposed a solution, and after discussing with other group members, the Xilinx FPGA board I learned in my VLSI course was chosen.

I proposed a solution, and after discussing with other group members, we decided to use the Xilinx FPGA board.

THEME SWITCHING
The difference was not much, but my companions were very surprised since it did not happen anywhere else they had been to in Europe and Asia.

Although the difference was not much, it did surprise my companions who
never had this experience anywhere else in Europe and Asia. avoid switching Theme midstream within the same idea thread

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

(an excerpt taken from Tap Dichs materials) Khi chng ti by t mong mun c tm hiu, vit bi, lm phim gii thiu v mn n c ny, ch Nguyn Th Hng ch qun Hng - cho u tu 171 Trn Hng o, TP H Giang, mt trong s t nhng qun cho u tu TP H Giang - rt r, ngi ngng qun cho bnh thng c g m vit, m quay. Mnh khng ni u, cc anh quay, chp th c thoi mi. T chi ngh vit bi ca chng ti, ch Hng ch qun t ra ngi ngn v vic qun cho nh ca ch, nm 171 Trn Hng o v l mt trong s t qun cho u tu H Giang, c a ln bo gii thiu v mn n m nu ch bin khng ng cch, ngi dng s b ng c, cng hm, co rt t chi v nu khng cu cha kp thi, khng bit cch cu th ch c i gp ng b ng vi. gii thiu v mn n m nu ch bin khng ng cch s u c ngi dng

Theme switching: chng ti, ch Hng and qun cho

Theme switching: mn n and ngi dng

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THEMATIC PROGRESSION IMPROVEMENT TECHNIQUES

Linear idea development Manner of exemplification Theme-Rheme re-arrangement
Avoid Vietnamese influence on usage of marked Themes reference switching

Employment of cohesive devices

as textual Themes as non-textual-Themes

Linking facilitation
linking scope linking distance linking explicitness

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COHESIVE DEVICE EMPLOYMENT

Use cohesive devices as textual Themes He may never find out what bad luck is. Napoleon, a historical figure, definitely never knew what bad luck was because he consolidated his power and never let it be divided.
He may never find out what bad luck is. As an example | For instance, Napoleon, a historical figure, definitely

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COHESIVE DEVICE EMPLOYMENT

Warning: do not OVERUSE textual Themes
A Vietnamese ESL excerpt
Learning a foreign language is necessary for many people. So, the educators gave the foreign language teaching to most schools. So, all children can learn English, Chinese, etc at their early age. Thus, I think it is good for them to learn a foreign language more effectively with a good preparation.

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COHESIVE DEVICE
Cohesion
Cohesion refers to the linguistic links between sentences, which demonstrate the relationship between the ideas contained in these sentences. A paragraph that is made up of sentences that are well-linked is said to be cohesive. Cohesion ensures smooth written text flow and allows the reader to follow the development of ideas more easily. Underlying coherence vs. surface cohesion
Any country-music-lover knows Ring of fire as the most famous hit of Jonhny Cashs career a country music star of the 60s. coherent but not cohesive

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COHESIVE DEVICE
Underlying semantic coherence is realized through surface cohesive markers in different ways by different languages such differences may affect readers perception of text coherence an English essay composed by a Vietnamese speaker may seem coherent and easy to follow to other ESL Vietnamese fellows but not so to native speakers of English.

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COHESIVE DEVICE
Cohesive devices: surface markers of cohesion 5 basic types:
reference substitution ellipsis conjunction lexical cohesion

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COHESIVE DEVICE
1. Reference:
a) b)

established through naming of participants, places, and things most commonly expressed by pronouns and demonstratives presented, or introduced a referent as new or as known endophoric: point to a referent located within text
anaphoric: the referent mentioned at an earlier point E.g., The dog ate the bird and it died. cataphoric: the referent subsequently provided E.g., Because his drink was cold, David ordered another cup of tea.

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COHESIVE DEVICE
1. Reference:
c)

exophoric: point to a referent lying outside text in the context of situation.

E.g., the Queen, the VTV3 The writer assumes that readers are aware of the referent could it be problematic? Fun question: What is the most commonly used exophoric reference in both Vietnamese and English?

Fun activity

Watch a video and answer the following question

Why the wife has problem with the dream? the dream vs. my dream?

Question: it in the previous clip is endophoric or exophoric?

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COHESIVE DEVICE
2. Substitution:
replace an element with another but not by means of a personal pronoun E.g., Do you have a computer? I used to own one. E.g., You like to write? I do. Watch a video and solve the given riddle
United States coins?

Fun activity

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COHESIVE DEVICE
3. Ellipsis:

involve deletion of a repeated element E.g., He wrote a letter and [he is deleted] sent it home on the same day.
How about Vietnamese?

Fun activity
Watch the video and answer the following question:
Why the girls ellipsis gives her female friend a bad fright?

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COHESIVE DEVICE
4. Conjunction:
express logical relations between parts of a text E.g., Although they're expensive, they last forever and never go out of style. | They're expensive, but they last forever and never go out of style.

our focus in this class

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COHESIVE DEVICE
5. Lexical cohesion:
maintain cohesion through subclassification, antonymy/synonymy/repetition and part/whole relationship. E.g., Cats appear to be affected with allergic bronchitis more frequently than dogs. Animals are usually affected as young to middle aged adults. vs. Cats appear to be affected with allergic bronchitis more frequently than umbrella. E.g., Looks are for the young. The older should know that our mates are not an award that one can display on their arm. vs. Looks are for the young. The bigger should know that Note: also involves culture-related assumptions, e.g. Hanoi people vs. Saigon people Technically, lexical cohesion tends to create more MN patterns

If you tend to use lexical cohesion, make sure your ideas are linearly arranged and readers have access to underlying assumptions

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COHESIVE DEVICE IDENTIFICATION

Watch a clip taken from The Golden Girls show (transcript provided)
Character: Dorothy, a 58 years old high school teacher Blanche and Rose: Dorothys roommates Sophia: Dorothys 83 years old mother Trudy, Dorothys former best friend, and Jack: Trudys husband Context: Dorothy holds a high school reunion party, and Trudy comes to visit. Although they were best friends, they were also big rivals back in high school. Their best-friend/rival relationship hasn't changed a bit 50 years later.

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COHESIVE DEVICE IDENTIFICATION

Identify cohesive devices of all types used in the conversation. Are there any missing links? Why are they acceptable?
Important differences between spoken and written texts

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HOMEWORK
Cohesive device reconstruction task
Each blank represents a single linking word that serves as a cohesive device.
Alexandria OKs use of land to expand sewage plant (by Taryn Luntz, Examiner).

For session 10:

Rsum peer-review

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Watch a clip and identify the referent of it

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