FAMILY & the SEVEN Cs.

(A talk given at Catholic Womens Breakfast) October 12, 2013 Family is the oldest of all societies and is the only natural one. - Among the birds and animals o Caring for one another and taking care of especially the young ones. o In the Facebook a movie of a bird sitting and caring for its wounded mate and crying loudly at its death. - Human family instituted by God. God who created the universe also made man and woman and built the family. It is where one feels that the other is the bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.(cf. Gen. 2.23) It is where people share each others gladness and wipe each others tears. It is where they live and love together through many changing years. It is where the couples journey together, hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, toward their eternal destination, the eternity where they will be happy together. - Family is the place where parents bring up their children as good Catholics as well as good and responsible citizens of the country. In a happy family, both parents and children contribute their share, each playing their respective roles. Parents need to realize that every word and deed of a parent is a fibre woven into the character of the child. Some parents of the modern generation talk as if they have nothing to do with it. But the truth is what a father says to his children is not heard by the world but will be heard by posterity; and what a mother sings to the cradle goes all the way down to the coffin. Every Christian parent should leave no stone unturned in order to help their children to develop physical, mental, emotional and spiritual maturity. The promise of parents at the time of the baptism of their children: - The priest asks the parents: You have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so you are accepting the responsibility of training him in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring him up to keep Gods commandments as Christ taught us, by loving God and our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking? - Before the Profession of Faith the priest says, On your part, you must make it your constant care to bring him up in the practice of the faith. See that the divine life which God gives him is kept safe from the poison of sin, to grow always stronger in his heart. - After the profession of faith the priests again asks, is it your will that your child should be baptized in the faith of the Church, which we have all professed with you? - After the baptism, at the clothing with the white garment the priest says, With your family and friends to help you by word and example, bring that dignity unstained into the everlasting life of heaven. - At the giving of the lighted Candle again the priest says, Parents and godparents, this light is entrusted to you to be kept burning brightly. Families should be like gardens where Christian virtues will flourish and bloom. St. Paul writing to Colossians says, As Gods chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of

Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.(3.12-17) - The virtues we have to practice not simply to practice, but clothe yourselves: o Compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness above all love. - Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly read and meditate the Word of God. - Sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs have family prayer. - Offer every deed to God. - In such families there will be peace. Nowadays why there is no vocation from our families to the priesthood or religious life? Because, there is no real Christian life in the families. Many families do not practice these Christian virtues. Parents and children, if at all there are (some couples do not want any children because they are botheration), do not have time to sit together, or talk to one another or read the Bible or pray together. All are busy. After each ones work they are in front of the TV or computer. Parents and children have their own TVs in their rooms. Children are busy with computer games. I have seen children eating their food in front of the TV while playing the computer games. If they go to visit other families they carry their computer games. They go to anywhere to play games. From such families how could there be vocations! No one says that bringing up children is easy. There are hardships in parenting. Look at the family of Joseph and Mary; how much hardships and problems they faced and endured! How much sorrows they suffered! The annunciation itself was a mystery for them and they had to accept it with so much living faith in God. After the birth of Jesus they had to flee to Egypt to save the life of baby Jesus. Once they returned from Egypt after the death of King Herod they had to go and settle in Nazareth for fear of Archelaus, the then king. At the age of 12 Jesus was found missing and they had to spend three days in search of him. At last when he was found they did not understand what he was talking about. Joseph and Mary were not financially rich but poor; Jesus himself had to do the job of a carpenter for his livelihood. A happy Christian family is possible when Christ is its centre and his teachings are the guidelines. We already heard the virtues St. Paul is asking us to put on. The Christian values which must mark out a Christian family are summarised in more concrete terms by one Dr. Paul Kelly. They are known as The Seven Cs. They are: 1. Commitment a lifelong caring for the other, no matter what happens. Sickness or old age or any kind of problem should not deter the couples from their commitment. Think about the vow you made to each other in front of God and the Church at the time of your marriage! You vowed to be true to each other, accept and love each other, in good times and in bad, in health and in sickness. In Common Law living this commitment is not there. 2. Communication a willingness to take time to listen, dialogue and share ones feelings. In many of the contemporary families this is not there. One reason is that they dont have time. Both may be working different shifts and they hardly see each other. Once they are at home they are tired or they are with the computer. Communication removes many misunderstandings and misconceptions. 3. Compatibility an ability to get along, adjust and be flexible. All are not of the same character and temperament. People think and act differently. So this understanding and acceptance is very important.

4. Compassion a capacity to understand weaknesses and sympathise with failure. All are not perfect or strong enough; so one should be ready to understand and sympathise with and support the other. 5. Confession the readiness to say, I am sorry, to be reconciled and forgiven. No one is perfect, all make mistakes. So one should be ready to accept ones fault or failure and ask pardon and forgiveness. A family should be a confessional rather than a courtroom. At the confessional one admits the responsibility of ones own faults and vows to correct them; whereas in a courtroom one tries to prove that he is not at fault but the other is or at least puts the responsibility of ones faults on the other. 6. Conviviality a sense of humor, to laugh at oneself and make others smile; an ability to feast and enjoy. All make mistakes; so one should be ready to laugh at oneself. That makes life humorous and enjoyable. 7. Children ones own, adopted, grand children or those of close relatives, with whom life and love can be shared. Family life without children will be dry and boring. Once a grandfather was telling if I knew that the grandchildren are so loving and interesting I would have tried for grandchildren first. A family with all these Seven Cs will be a happy family. They will never separate but stay and face together what may come on their way. Such families will bloom with vocations to priesthood and religious life. Finally, blood family is not the only family we must be concerned about. From our small blood-families we grow into larger families, like school-family, parish-family, and national-family and at last worldfamily. The happiness of our natural family depends on the welfare of our world-family. So it is our responsibility to work for the welfare of the world family. The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph started a family revolution by putting the welfare of the world-family before their own. At the presentation in the Temple Simeon prophesied that Jesus would be the Savior not just of Mary and Joseph but of the whole world and his role would bring suffering on the family of Mary and Joseph for the sake of the whole world. Then Anna, the prophetess, made it clear that Mary should see her son in a context wider than her own family, by saying about the deliverance of Jerusalem. Jesus himself later taught that his real family is not made up of blood relations but of those who belong to the house of God where those who do the will of the Father are real brothers and sisters (Mt 12.50). In conclusion let us lead a real Christian family life founded on the Christian values and principles and work for the welfare of the world-family. Let the same spirit which directed the Holy Family be with every one of your family!