Live

Long & Prosper Gordo Byrn, December 2012 For my kids: Im sure of two things: Love is good and death is coming. Take what you find inside and make it better.

The Road Less Travelled At 25 years of age, I achieved The Holy Grail of finance by transitioning from associate to a partner of my firm. For graduates of my era (Class of 1990), this represented the pinnacle of the best-case scenario for my career. Six years later, I would gratefully thank my colleagues and hand back my partnership. At the time, I knew that I was making a choice with an opportunity cost of $1 million per annum. Twelve years on, the decision turned out to be worth more than $25 million. This book explains what I bought myself with the $25 million that I didnt earn.

How To Use This Book Good books give me too much to work on. I highlight key passages, take notes and devise strategies. However, by the following week, all is forgotten because Ive tried to do too much. To improve your life, pick a single idea that makes sense and implement it immediately. Being able to make small changes is more important than any one change. What you are seeking to create is a habit of incremental change. The capacity for self-improvement comes from the ability to observe, learn and adjust ones self. Change slowly. In each chapter, Ive tried to be as practical as possible and provide you with actionable points. When you come across a good idea, I hope you pause, write it down and take action. This book is a series of ideas that Ive learned and turned into habits. The major concepts are simple, and powerful when you make them your own. The chapters focus on what has helped me at different times in my life and are split into sections on planning, change, relationships, wellness and financial health. Feel free to jump around and skip sections. Take what you need, make it better and pass it on. Ill refer you to the Best Books section. These titles have helped me with my thinking on each topic. Ive pulled the best-of-the-best into this book and Id encourage you to work your way through the recommended reading. Infect your mind with ideas. Stories are a proven way to connect with readers and Ill share a few. However, my overriding goal is to give you a simple method to create a life with meaning. Having lived in Asia, Europe and North America, Ive come to realize that the human condition is universal and our culture, particularly the media, doesnt know best. This book is an antidote to what modern society says will make me happy. Why wait to be great?

Part One SELF big font center on page

What Is A Life With Meaning? As a young man, the central challenge I faced was learning what made me tick. What do I like to do, how should I spend my time and how do I create satisfaction. This section lays out how I direct my life. As young adults, the question we face is whats right for me? Over time, the initial process of self-discovery transitions to directing our lives, via planning and action. Ill end this section by sharing ideas on how Ive coped with setbacks and manage my own expectations. Creating A Life With Meaning Insight comes from finding a way through setbacks, rather than personal victories. Times of personal crisis have provided me with the opportunity for introspection and growth. Ive been fortunate to experience successes as well as setbacks. My good times have strengthened, and limited, my character; most directly by leading me to believe that I didnt have to change. Probably my greatest, and most dangerous, rationalization was using external successes to suppress a discontent with a conventional life path. As a young adult, youd have to look into how I spent my spare time for clues that an ever-expanding balance sheet wasnt for me. I spent my time drinking and pursing activities with silent isolation (off-shore sailing, weightlifting, trekking, endurance running, mountain climbing). I had a tendency to use avoidance when dissatisfied in my life and distracted myself with wine, women and song. I was married for a short time around my 30th birthday and my divorce provided me with an opportunity to reappraise my life. At the time, I had complete financial security, a dream job (that I was good at), good friends and access to every material desire that Id ever conceived. Even with all that, I was fixated on a dream about escaping. This chapter lays out a personal planning framework that I used during a two- month sabbatical that I took ten years into my first career. Just before my sabbatical, a friend suggested that I read a book called The Artists Way, which contains a 12-week writing program for improving creativity. During my break, I rented a room in the mountains above Boulder, Colorado and mixed the writing program with daily endurance exercise. The book itself was not inspiring; it is not a how-to manual. The transformative process was driven by: 5

 Following my sabbatical, I returned to my desk and it was obvious that I needed to change direction. Sitting here now, I can see that the real change was a decision to consciously direct my life. However, at the time, the only thing I knew was that I needed to leave my old life, rather than create a new one. Returning from my break, I agreed to a one-year leave of absence and acquired an immigration permit for New Zealand. I left my first career at the end of 2000 and, after spending a month in Australia, flew to New Zealand, which became my home for the next five years. Writing down my dreams has been the single most powerful influence in my life and the planning framework that follows is how I make the transition from hope to reality. There will be times when you feel like your back is up against the wall, remember that youre not alone. If you get really desperate then you can try what worked for me!

12-weeks of brainstorming each morning 6-weeks living in the mountains, away from my normal routine A simple life of daily exercise and excellent nutrition

Finding Direction In the Best Books section, youll find readings that deal with the question of what to do with our lives. Pondering our purpose is part of what it means to be human. Im not going to tell you what to do; rather Im going to share to the process that I use to direct my own life. From that process, take what you want and listen to your heart. In the most productive periods of my life I have had a clear mission with simple goals such as: Do well as school Do as much work as possible Save money Do as many hours of aerobic exercise as possible Get a new company funded Get a company sold Its a wide-ranging list and, at the time, if you asked me what I was doing, then I would have been able to tell you very clearly. Do you know what you are trying to achieve? Having a single focus enables me: To allocate my time and take daily steps towards my goal To filter my time by saying not yet to unrelated opportunities To value my time and set priorities The periods where Ive felt lost have been when I didnt have a mission to guide me. For me, having a mission (or path, or reason to get up in the morning) is whats important. The specific goals, themselves, arent as important. Why? The feeling of engagement with a task gives meaning. The feeling of progress and personal improvement gives meaning The feeling of purpose from following a self-directed, and ethical, life gives meaning Whatever your mission, I recommend that you trim it down so that it is: Simple Easy to remember Requires one action, per day, done first These three characteristics will enable you to create a daily win where you take one step towards your goal. Start every day of your life with a win. One of my long-term goals has been to get up before 7 a.m. As long as I pull that off, I start the day with a small victory. While my central mission runs deeper than

make it out of bed in the morning, having a small victory start the day primes me for success. What follows are the specifics on how I manage myself.

Building Your Personal Plan This section requires some work but I promise that the pay off will be far greater than the small amount of energy thats required. Im not going to tell you what to do with your life but I am going to recommend how to do. Get yourself a notebook and write a theme at the top of each page. My themes: Big Picture: the most important things in my life, and dreams that I want to achieve Key Likes: actions, people and situations that drive my personal satisfaction Geography: places that give me energy, where I want to visit, and where I want to live Body: how I want to take care of my body Mind: things I want to learn, things I want to teach, and actions I need to take to clear my mind Spirit: when and how I will rejuvenate, and the actions I need to take for my emotional health Marriage: things we like to share, what works for us Family Finances: family balance sheet (today, five and 10 years from now), and income/expense projection for the next 12 months. I do this in detail separately then summarize for review. Personal Top 10 List: the ten most important things in my life that require focus, effort and time Actions: what actions/habits are most important to me Hazards: what items need to be watched to avoid roadblocks Bits & Tips: quotes and advice that resonates with me. Brainstorm as much as possible under each theme and get lots of random ideas down on paper. Dont filter anything the more the better. Annually, schedule a block of time (I use a week) week where you unplug from work and technology. During this period, review your notes and decide on the key themes for each topic. 9

 If your job wont allow you to unplug once a year, then I recommend that you find a different career. Constant connectivity is extremely draining and reinforces our collective bias towards over-estimating our importance in the world. Life keeps on rolling without us and an annual break will help you maintain your perspective. I start the brainstorming process a month out from my retreat so, by the time my vacation comes, Im ready to go. Armed with my notes, my hopes, my dreams and my ideas, I read them each morning and consider how I feel about them. Your review week doesnt require a formal daily structure. What Ive found is the answers, and ideas, come naturally when you commit to being truly unplugged. If you like structure then there are twelve themes and you can split them AM/PM across six days. My review week has a ton of open time. If youre used to being over scheduled then being unplugged is scary and you might find that youre addicted to the drama of your day-to-day life. I often find myself tempted to plug back in, certainly in the early days of my retreat. Remember that stepping outside our day-to-day routine is the easiest way to gain perspective on where we want to take ourselves. I tell myself that my week is so precious that its worth the effort to isolate myself a little bit and see what happens. When I started doing these reviews, I learned that my life wasnt aligned with my goals and dreams. Specifically, I spent most my time doing things that had little impact on my personal satisfaction. There are strong psychological tendencies that work against choosing to change (see Munger on the Psychology of Human Misjudgment). Unplanned setbacks (injury, illness, divorce, unemployment) have enabled me to take a fresh look at my life choices. With each passing year, Ive gained additional insight into the key drivers of my satisfaction and the positive experience with this process has made it easier to adjust the direction of my life. When I get depressed, I pull out old plans to remind myself that I can get a lot done if I keep it simple and take one positive step each day. It is tempting to resist the idea that we create our own reality by making our hopes, dreams and goals concrete. However, I ask myself, How can I achieve anything without thinking it about it? Ive also found a benefit to frequently priming my spontaneous mind to serve the goals of my strategic self. To help get you started, youll find my most recent strategic plan in an appendix at the end of the book. I use a spreadsheet for my family financial planning and have included a template that you might find useful.

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My Lessons Each of us needs to create our own plan and understand that plan will develop as we move through life. Across my life, Ive had friends who were perfectly suited for paths that were not right for me so this section isnt about telling you what to do. Rather, I want to share central truths that Ive discovered about my own life. Through this sharing, I might stimulate your brainstorming or counteract the confusion that results from living in a society thats focused on consumption and pleasure. Within my personal plan, I have a section of things to remember and give myself the following advice: The quickest way to increase disposable income is to reduce personal expenditure. The fastest way to improve my perceived standard of living is to associate with people that have a lower one. Collect experiences not possessions. Live a simple, healthy, outdoor life with good friends and exciting challenges. My students come to me and I travel to the best teachers. If in doubt then WAIT. Inverting the above shows how I am prone to mislead myself. Consumption: Ive been caught in the wheel of chasing income to increase spending on items that dont make me happy. As well, Im prone to fool myself that just-a- little-more will make me happy. In my life, the answer is nearly always less: less stress, less clutter, less external success. Less being what creates more serenity, more time to think, more time to do the things that bring true satisfaction. Envy: Im prone to magnifying envy within myself through my choices of location, peer group and media outlets. Surround yourself with situations that reflect your values, not the false gods of consumption and pleasure. Stress: Feeling trapped in a corporate life where Im working indoors, at repetitive tasks and letting my physical well-being slip away. Saying No To Good Deeds: Ive had to teach myself to say no to the good, to make room for my life to be great. Many neglect their own needs to devote themselves 11

towards the happiness of others. While service to something larger than ourselves provides meaning, remember to meet your own needs first, then focus on your inner circle of family and friends. To do great work, you need to create, and protect, empty space in your life. Bias Towards Action: Most things work themselves out if I do nothing. Seeing this happen, repeatedly, reminded me that I overestimate my ability to impact a situation. The implications are to: Focus where you can have a positive impact Focus on your best opportunities, situations and people Learn to pause o when excited o when stressed o before any important decision Because most people roll through life without planning, a little effort with self- direction has dramatic effects. The tips in this chapter have enabled me to consistently outperform my expectations over a multi-year time horizon. The power of personal planning lies in the general, not the specific. Once you have completed detailed evaluation, boil it down to its essence: A simple plan that you can remember and execute every day Periods of specific focus that address key goals Scheduled recovery, and downtime, before you need it No single phase of the year compromises the period that follows Pace your year Enjoyable, relaxing and satisfying For example, Ive been talking about writing this book for three years but it didnt happen until I made a commitment to: Get up by 7a.m. Write two pages Do some exercise Meet my existing work commitments Spend time with my wife and kids By restricting commitments outside of the list, my daily targets are easy to achieve. By sticking with my plan, I develop a habit of keeping small promises to myself. Whether the goal is a new business, preparing for a challenging race or educating my daughter the method is the same. Create the habit of small positive steps, do it daily, persist. 12

Consider how much of your daily energy (thought, action, words) is directed towards the simple actions required to create a life with meaning. Work to trim the time thats spent on areas peripheral to creating the life you desire.

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An Action Plan For Achievement Today: Get yourself a notebook Write a theme across the top of each page Brainstorm one theme each morning Two Weeks from Today: Review your brainstorming Look for repeating messages Filter your plan to a small number of daily actions, not more than three Thereafter: Start each day with a simple win it could be as small as what you eat for breakfast Set one priority per day Do your number one task first Create a habit of keeping small promises to yourself Remember the keys to guiding your life: Schedule less Take responsibility for your time Align your spending with true satisfaction Create a habit of daily action towards your number one goal Keep it simple and persist!

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Expectations & Setbacks Having used my planning protocol since 2000, Ive come to realize that I get what I expect. Writing my goals down clearly, and consistent daily action gets results. Heres the first Top 10 list I ever wrote. The goals were written while I was in the corporate world, working daily at a desk and wishing I could change my life. 1. Touch someone with my writing 2. Clean out my computer room 3. Relax more 4. Sub-10 hours at an Ironman Triathlon 5. Buy a house to have a base 6. Be published in a major magazine or in a forum where a wide audience can read me 7. Get rid of a lot of stuff in my life 8. More love in my life 9. Write entertaining pieces that make people laugh 10. A new career that would give me time to do what I want as well as travel My themes are: writing, love, acceptance, freedom and simplicity. While my values and satisfaction drivers date back to my teens, it took until my early 30s for them to become visible to my conscious mind (see Drucker, Managing Oneself). Acknowledging these lifelong aspirations enables me to filter new opportunities and direct my life. My list is not a road map. Rather, making the themes visible establishes clarity for decisions on my daily life. I review my life no more frequently than once per quarter. Theres something magical about putting pen to paper and deciding whats truly important in your life one year later I had ticked the box on seven of 10 items. Because of the laws of probability, theres somebody out there who will write a top ten list, annually, for 65 years and hit everything on the list. You could be the lucky one, so get started! Turns out that I wasnt that person and Ive had setbacks across my life. Over a lifetime, it would be highly unusual not to experience at least a few major setbacks. Heres my list: Failure to Achieve Relationship Failure and Divorce Unemployment Corporate Bankruptcy Illness and Injury Large Financial Loss 15

 None of these are pleasant and I wouldnt wish them on you. However, once I get through them, sometimes more than once, they really arent that bad. Fear is an essential tool for stimulating change prior to crisis. We often hear that we have nothing fear but fear itself. The reality is that unplanned setbacks are highly likely throughout our life. Expecting life to be clear sailing sets us up for grave disappointment when reality hits. Im not telling you to expect the worst. Rather, Im saying that a life with meaning will be filled with unexpected setbacks and challenges. Having back up plans, and understanding what scares us, will enable us to cope and address challenges when they pop up. I have four main fears: financial loss, failure, unemployment and health. These fears are common in my peers and quite useful for motivational purposes. Fear of Financial Loss Counter by building core capital (see Creating Financial Health) Create a fallback plan that would enable you to live on a fraction of your current expenditure Hammer the Live Simply credo into yourself (annual retreats, peer group, spoken and written word are helpful tools) Fear of Failure Get out there and fail a few times: fail small, fail big, keep trying Deeply feel the pain of your failures Then notice how it leaves and learn that failure isnt fatal Listen to the elderly lingering human pain comes from regret, not failure Fear of Unemployment (Failure and Financial Loss) Incorporate a part time career into your fallback plan Build core capital so you have time to maneuver Continually learn new skills Maintain a network of smart people that you assist without expectation of immediate benefit Health Fears Insure what you can, accept what you cannot control Create, and then follow, your personal longevity strategy (coming up shortly in Part Two) Spend time with the elderly to understand whats heading our way Live well today understanding our mortality keeps us honest

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 Personal Planning Simplified While the previous chapter explained how I direct my own life, this section is my best advice for making immediate improvement in your life. By making these tips a habit, you capture most of the benefit from the deeper process that I have outlined. The Six Keys Place the big things first: Block out full days for important items and get away from your daily routine to apply total focus to areas of your life where you want to make dramatic improvements. Focus on a limited number of things: Know what you want to get done each day and check the alignment of how you spend your time. Rotate your focus: By year, by season, by month and by day. Practice saying no: Most importantly to yourself and, secondly, to attractive non-core opportunities. Be willing to make unpopular decisions that are in the best interests of what you want to achieve make this easier on yourself by having alignment within your inner circle (spouse/family/work/self). Be an exemplar: First up in the morning, first out the door, most productive. Being an exemplar creates considerable personal freedom. Freedom flows through being fit for leadership. If you decide to follow this simplified approach then its still worth writing down your plans to give you: Visibility on key decisions A location for reminding yourself about key errors of judgment An ability to return to your pre-decision mindset for evaluation An ability to track progress over multiyear time horizons In my 40s, I have a good understanding of what makes me tick and Ive found that having my life rotate with the seasons works very well for my family: Winter: learn new skills, complete long-term projects and focus on family Spring: strengthen existing relationships and improve business life Summer: improve the physical self and rejuvenate the spirit Fall: review, strategy and planning

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Part Two Health, Wealth & Change Im fond of telling my family, you will live your life and I will live mine. The mantra is a reminder to respect, and support, each others journey. As a parent, my role isnt to create a series of mini-mes. My role is to equip my kids with the skills, and values, to carry forward whats best about our family. At the same time, we need to remember our familys mistakes as these are likely to repeat down the line. I fulfill this role best, when I focus on creating desirable traits within myself. This part of the book focuses on health, wealth and change. My take on each of these points has developed over my life, and will continue to change as I move through the phases of my life. Hopefully, Ill get a chance to revisit them and share my perspective in my 50s, 60s and beyond. I take a long view on health and define it as wellbeing across our entire life. As you age, you might even find that you start to optimize for the wellbeing of your spouse, your kids, and your friends as well. When we hear wealth we tend to fixate on financial wealth. While there is a section on financial lessons in this book, Id encourage you to consider wealth in the largest sense of the world freedom, health, longevity and personal satisfaction. Once our basic needs are met, happiness has a weak correlation with net worth. Many, myself included, have found that financial success didnt correlate to personal happiness. The section on wealth is designed to help you think outside of the box and balance what were exposed to with our media and popular culture. Ill close out this section by sharing tips, tactics and habits that I use to manage my mood and make incremental change. How youre feeling right now is a function of your generics and how many little things have impacted your natural tendencies. By choosing our environment, and committing to incremental change, we can greatly influence the quality of our life experience.

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Creating A Personal Longevity Plan How do you want to die? I know that you would prefer not to think about it but play the game... how would you like to check out? The way we live, our choices, our likes, and our tolerances all are trainable through incremental effort and practice. Consider what you could achieve if you identified a few simple principles that would extend the quality of your life. A story: a buddy of mine visited his doctor. The doc told him that he was facing a life-or-death situation with his health. He needed to change, or he was going to die! When my pal told me this story, my response was "so what, we're all going to die." To most of us, death isn't real suffering is real. This chapter is about reducing physical suffering. I had a chance to visit my buddy's doctor and drew the chart below for him: I think this is a more powerful argument the lines are Illness, Average and Goal. The Y- axis is Quality of Life And X-axis is Time. The choice isn't life or death. Our choice is length of death and I'm shooting for the cliff edge approach that you can see.

Source: Mark Allen There is tremendous noise and emotion surrounding personal health. Body image, self-worth, consumption, control, nutrition, cancer, and heart disease these topics set off powerful emotions within us. Ive been fat, lean, sedentary, a champion athlete and everything in between. Along the way, Ive been taught by some of the fittest, but not always healthiest, people on the planet. Armed with a powerful drive to make myself faster, Ive spent years studying human performance.

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The truth about health is our lives are not about health. The concept of being healthy doesnt motivate people. Fear, vanity, suffering and pleasure motivate us. Taking an honest look at myself, I see that my daily choices are driven by a deeper desire to address various problems that I think I have. What are the common problems we have with our bodies? Appearance Performance Pain and Illness With a healthy physical body, Ive noticed that I am more creative, more productive, more positive, and have less forced downtime. Additionally, I have a lot more options within the physical world: climbing a mountain, riding my bike, or participating in a triathlon. My why for physical heath includes: Feeling good inside Creating a positive bias towards how I experience the world Reduced stress Increased creativity Increased productivity Maintain full function within my life (sex, kids, chores, trips with buddies) Look good Expansion of my physical world Reduced downtime Thats a long list. If I boil it down then the true drivers are: look good; and participate in fun events vanity and relative success with my peers are effective motivators that can drive positive change. Experience tells me that winning wont provide a life with meaning but acknowledging my sources of motivation helps me create a life structure that increases social pressure on myself. My daily schedule, friends and location create significant pressure to maintain high standards. Thats my why. Heres my how. Wake up before 7 a.m. Eat real food Exercise every 12 hours or so Notice, then remove, anything that causes me to miss the above goals (my big not to dos are fatigue, excessive alcohol, sugar) Lets dig into them in a bit more detail: Wake Up: I cant control the time that I fall asleep. What I can control is when I get up. Making it out of bed by 7 a.m. means that I can start each day with a small 20

victory. The single best tool Ive found for waking up is an auto-brew coffeemaker thats ready, daily, at 6:45 a.m. When Im in a funk, I will use the coffeemaker as an alarm clock and place on my bedside table! Eat Real Food: Resist dogma and avoid the politics of nutritional evangelists. Focus on eating real food that creates stability in your mood, energy and appearance. The core of my nutritional strategy is built around three meals: Scrambled eggs cooked in coconut oil, served over quinoa, drizzled with olive oil Chopped whole fruits Huge mixed salads with lean protein and good fats (avocados, nuts, seeds) Thats it. There are no secrets. When it comes to nutritional excellence, we are not limited by knowledge, money, or time. Keep it simple and pay attention to how you feel. If I follow the protocol above then I feel great, have plenty of energy and look good. There are billions of dollars spent, annually, to convince us otherwise. Frequent Movement: Move your body, moderately, and pay attention to how you feel. The first 20 minutes of daily movement gives you the greatest return on investment by: Giving you a win for the day Maintaining a habit of activity Acknowledging that the toughest part is getting started To optimize for vanity, I have found 12 hours of weekly exercise to be optimal. That figure: Gives me a reasonable baseline, from which I can increase to be competitive with my buddies; Enables me to burn off stress and examine emotional questions; and Facilitates problem solving and creative thinking. Coming from an elite endurance background, I have to constantly remind myself that the benefits of exercise decline rapidly once I exceed my personal sweet spot. Muscle soreness, fatigue and mood swings are signs that Ive gone too far. Separate from my athletic life, I experience exactly the same warning signals when Im working too hard on my business, or family, lives. Likewise, I need to be alert to choices that cause me to take an unplanned day off or fall short of my weekly target. Ive found that the most effective use of will power is to replace, not remove, the choices that result in falling short of my minimums. Replace habits that cause you to miss your minimums. 21

Personal Mantras: Hitting my baseline is whats required to achieve my goals The minimum is enough Pause when Im out of control With nutrition, Ive found the principles of H.A.L.T. to be effective. I avoid choices that will leave me Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. As an elite athlete, I usually had two, or more, HALT attributes rolling at any given time! I didnt gain control over my nutrition until I was able to pause, and step away from, a cycle of overeating and excessive exercise. My trigger was excessive fatigue. If youre struggling with disordered eating then look for the source of excessive stress.

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Living Without Zeros My good friend, Jeff Dr J Shilt, first brought the "No Zeros" philosophy to my attention. As an elite endurance athlete, I used to target five hours of daily exercise. Thats over 1,500 annual hours of exercise and I wouldnt recommend that for anyone. Jeff's a smart guy. Seeing that training like an elite didn't fit his life (as doc, dad, professor, administrator), he realized that he could achieve a lift in productivity if he dropped the days where he did nothing. Jeff gets more done by doing less nothing. The error most people make with changing their lives is deciding on an arbitrary destination, back fitting a recommended workload then adding a little bit extra as a cushion. An overly ambitious start point virtually guarantees that they will fail to achieve the consistency required to succeed. With a new area of your life (nutrition, business development, sport, languages, parenting), a single step forward, applied daily, is all that matters. Take a single step, every day, and persist. Within my own life, I have four types of "unplanned zeros" defined as choices that fail to move me forward: Missing training: I need the benefits of daily exercise in my life Sleeping in: I always convince myself that I deserved it... Nutritional lapses: Same rationalization, I deserved it... Being rude to my closest family: Why do we unload on those that truly love us? A sure fire indicator that I have too much going on, or am seeking to control others because I am failing to take responsibility for myself. By watching the situations that cause these "little failures," I can remove the items that prevent my big successes. Take Home Point: Consider the minimum required to move forward, daily. Then make a habit of removing choices that screw it up. Set your minimums at a level that you can always achieve. Success streaks are powerful motivators.

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An Action Plan Breaking inertia 20 minutes of exercise per day for 28 days Choose 3-5 simple meals, of real food, repeat Use willpower to hit easy minimum targets Replace, rather than eliminate Keep little promises to yourself Remember why you started, write it down, post it where you can see it Eat unlimited amounts of lean protein and veggies this helps you replace while you create the life that will reduce the drive to overeat Replace the biggies first bread, cheese, beer, alcohol, late night eating, cereal Do ONE thing at a time choose one thing, make it a habit, then move on

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Mood Management I ended the section on longevity with the advice to avoid being hungry, angry, lonely or tired (H.A.L.T.). The reality is that we often have an inability to control, or see, our emotions. As a young adult, I rarely considered my ability to manage my mood. Speaking frankly, I used work, sex and alcohol to suppress any emotions that I didnt feel like having around. Later in life, I replaced work and alcohol with excessive exercise. It was an effective strategy but Ive found alternative ways to live. This section offers advice on managing your moods. It is far from the only way. More than providing a model for external success, the habits that I share have had a positive impact on my internal life. For the most part, my life is harmonious, directed and satisfying. If I take responsibility for doing what I know works then the pay off is immediate. This doesnt mean that life is always clear sailing. However, I know that if I keep it together through a rough patch then Ill be back to normal within 72 hours. Ive built credibility with myself by keeping little promises and reframing situations that press my buttons. My key three for mood management are: Exercise I need to generate some stimulation for my serotonin receptors, ideally twice daily Nutrition poor food choices, especially sugar, screw up my neurochemistry Sleep dialing down my mind calms me and, when I cant sleep, I know that I have to reduce whats going on in my life Its my job to manage the above. If I dont do my part then, as a physical organism, there will be consequences in how I experience the world. Theres no right or wrong, it is organic chemistry working on my brain. The choices of my 20s, which I made with work, food, sex and alcohol, were seeking to fill similar needs to my 40s. I havent transcended myself, or become a better person. All I did was modify my approach with a method thats more appropriate for the life I want to lead. When I am rolling the key three, I get into a groove of clear thinking. During moments of clarity, I have had the insight that meaning flows from: Harmony Stability Direction Love Unscheduled time 25

Ill dig deeper into my themes, which appear to be universal across my peers. In your own life, write down your insights so you can discover your own truth. When you have a good idea, make it real by writing it down. It is much easier to see disharmony than harmony. I create harmony by removing people, and situations, that cause distress. Having spent my 20s living in large cities, I find crowds to be tiring. Even sitting in a room alone, there is a background hum in a large city thats different than what I experience looking over the water in, say, New Zealand. I balance urban living with time spent in nature, especially near water or in forests. To create stability, my daily life is the same regardless of my geographic location: Wake Up Exercise Work More Exercise, or Personal Project More Work, or Family Time Go to bed A benefit of being self-employed is controlling my own schedule, so I can maintain my daily structure seven days a week. Similar to harmony, it is easier to feel the effects of instability: particularly emotional, and financial. Once again, I know that it is my responsibility to take care of my own emotional and financial wellbeing first, because It is only from a position of personal balance that Ill be able to help others and achieve my own goals. For example, I was unsuccessful in relationships until I sorted my self to the point that I was content to be alone, and single. I have been known to confuse my basic human needs of love and acceptance with a desire for sex or ownership. My wife doesnt share my need for a mission but she appreciates being my partner in charting the direction of our family. I do best with having a specific mission that I can work on daily. I have realized that there isnt any achievement that will satisfy the need to have a mission. So, I choose my goals carefully and move on once theyve fulfilled their function. If you look deeply into troubled minds then youll often find a lack of love in their youth. The most important thing that I can give my family, and perhaps the only really useful thing, is my love. I love my kids and they teach me to love. Unscheduled time is the way I create space in my life. To do my best work, I need daily blocks of unstructured time. I find doing great work to be more satisfying than doing a lot of work. 26

It took me twenty-five years to figure out my mood management list. So heres a quick way to short cut the experience curve: 1. Make a list of the people, and situations, that cause you stress. 2. Review the list. 3. Write down whats triggering your stress. Your list of triggers might look like: Confusion Clutter Imposition of control Disruption of routine Exposure to confused minds No clear plan Hate Anger Overscheduled Getting stuff done is about setting a few priorities and making sure you take one positive action. Overcoming emotional habits, and reducing stress, is about learning to observe, then leave, the negative. Learn to say no to choices with results that overwhelm whats important. Your list of triggers will provide you with what to avoid. Inverting your list will let you see your key drivers for satisfaction and meaning. For example, my triggers are the opposite of my keys (harmony, stability, direction, love, unscheduled time). It is easier for me to see what bothers me, screws up my life, and stresses me. I make a list of the negatives and invert them. I learned the tactic, of learning via inversion, from Mungers writings in the Best Books section. But what about situations that I cant avoid? As a parent, I cant, and dont want to, leave my kids when they are being difficult. Likewise, I wont be effective to quit every time I bump into a difficult situation. Even for situations that you want to leave, youll want to manage your departure as smoothly as possible. With that in mind, lets discuss tactics for tolerance and acceptance. What are the physical feelings of stress? The first step to managing stress is spotting its arrival via tightness, closing, heat and pressure. These triggers are our early warning system. In highly charged situations, it is useful to have a partner to help us realize when weve started down the path of an automatic stress response.

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When physical sensations of stress begin, I want to achieve awareness, which is followed by a pause to consider my next action. Tightness, closing, heat and pressure all are easily felt in the body. These awareness triggers can be felt internally before I make an external response, or error. To train myself to pause, Ive taught myself to ask questions internally: What can I learn from this situation? Am I sure that things are as they appear? What do I want to achieve today? Whats truly motivating this person? You can try my questions, or devise your own. Ive picked mine up from sources as diverse as a Vietnamese monk to a real estate negotiating course. The questions have been useful but whats most valuable is creating an automatic habit to pause when I feel stress. If you find yourself constantly flipping into an automatic response then youll need to find a lower pressure area of your life where you can practice. For me, that part of my life is athletics. Sport is an area of my life where: I can train alone and remove social pressure Im not as emotionally invested in outcome All of my triggers, emotional history and biases follow me I can control the when, where and how much stress I give myself Whether I am teaching myself how to remain relaxed while running, or learning how to cope with an overtired toddler, my approach is the same: Remove time pressure by allocating at least double the time that I expect the task to take Focus on enjoying myself rather than an external performance goal Reduce external stress; such as other people, noise or fatigue To be able to perform when time is tight, stakes are high and external stress is intense; we need to create space for clarity of thought and action. Training our reactions is best done, initially, in a low stress environment. To improve your ability to manage under stress: Note what creates stress Reduce the stress triggers in your life Invert your stress list and focus on more of the opposite Train awareness of your triggers in low-pressure environments Learn to pause before automatic reactions 28

 To close, remember that action leads emotion. The quality of our lives rests with actions that we choose to make.

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How I Fool Myself Since my teens, my life has taken many turns. Ive lived around the world, worked in different cultures and experienced life changing setbacks. Of all my experiences, the setbacks have been the most useful as they are what prompt me to evaluate where I am taking my life. Up to this point, Ive written about the tools, tricks and tactics that I use to shape my life. This chapter is about the most common ways that Ive fooled myself and made poor decisions. Several times in my life, Ive blown it. The ways that we fool ourselves are extremely common and youll find a comprehensive list in Mungers writing on Human Misjudgment (see Best Books). My life lessons are more general than Mungers and the areas where I most often fool myself are: Sunk Costs: particularly in giving too much weight to the recent past Influence: giving too much weight to my capacity to create change More: thinking more is the answer Control: thinking that controlling others will bring me satisfaction To counter my tendency to overvalue sunk costs, Ive developed tactics to improve decisions. First, I tell myself that its OK to change my mind on the basis of new information and publicly state my desire to make the best decision based on current facts. Collectively, we share a strong cultural bias against change so this doesnt come naturally. Next, to give myself a further nudge, I consider: If I could start over then would I make the same decision based on what I know today? Would I be comfortable doubling my investment? Whether I am considering time, money or emotional energy; these two questions give me a quick check on how to spend future resources. Even if money and time have been wasted, our past experience is valuable for the future. I have repeated mistakes, so keeping a written record of key decisions, and reviewing years later, is helpful. Share these lessons with your friends and family. Individually, we do better with certain types of decisions than others. Its important to recognize your personal blind spots and build a team thats strong where you are weak. Having a team thats willing to correct me is beneficial, even if I dont like it at the time! 30

 As a teacher, guide, consultant and parent; I overestimate my ability to influence outcome. Within my consulting business, people with a proven record of performance hire me. Ive found that I enjoy working with people that are already successful (!) because it is easier to make them successful in a new area of their life. Inverting the observation above, I have poured tremendous energy into situations, and relationships, where the solution was never going to come from me. In fact, Ive had successes by completely removing myself from a problem too often we overlook the possibility that our involvement feeds dysfunction and prevents a solution. My mantras with regard to influence are: Assist without ownership Remember that I have my hands full with myself Focus on my stars My stars are the people closest to me, and the opportunities with the greatest potential to enhance my life. Living in a consumer society, Im often trapped into thinking that more is the answer to my prayers. More money, so I could have more time, to do more of what I like to do More exercise, so I can eat more, so I will be more satisfied More stuff, so I could do more and be happier More control, so I could get people to do more for me, so I would have more time More, more, more Despite knowing that more isnt what motivates me, gives me satisfactions, or limits me; more is always with me. My antidotes to more: Spend time with people that have less Focus on more love, more freedom, more space Limit my exposure to the media, particularly popular culture, tabloid journalism, social networks, public forums that allow anonymous posting and advertising Whenever I catch myself thinking more, I stop and make a mental note to examine the implied assumptions. It takes consistent mental effort to counter my attraction to more. Related to more, I can get caught in thinking that happiness lies over there or in the future. Whenever I catch myself thinking, If I could just then I stop, call my 31

own bluff and remind myself that it if something is important then I need to make it happen here, and now. As I age, Im getting better with realizing that its neither desirable, nor practical, to expect to control others. As well, I gently chide myself when I seek to control others, rather than focusing on improving myself. Combining the last two tips, my answer isnt more control over others. The answer is to create space and focus on completing daily steps towards the life I want to lead. In the next section, Ill shift gears from an inward focus to sharing what Ive learned about relationships with others.

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 Part Three The Inner Circle This part of the book is about getting along with my tribe. In my case, this includes spouse, kids, key family and close friends. Humans form different social associations based on blood, marriage, race, nationality, sports, hobbies and business interests. However you define peers this section shares ideas for getting along within a world thats run by social bonds. My inner circle is defined by a simple test. If I will change my schedule to see someone then they are part of my inner circle. Flipping this standard can make for uncomfortable realizations with regards to people that we think we value. As I said earlier, if I dont care enough to change then I dont really care.

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Creating Healthy Relationships I've been divorced, unemployed, exhausted, stressed out, and overweight -- generally not at the same time, thankfully. So my advice is no guarantee of smooth sailing. However, by applying these tips, I've become comfortable with my choices and improved my most important relationships. What do you want? I am driven by a desire to feel free. You might be motivated by love, envy or acceptance. Going through the personal planning process on an annual basis will, over a series of years, enable you to see your emotional drivers. Remember that you have your whole life to figure it out (!) and your values will develop as you move through the phases of life. Following the expectations of others can lead us to make decisions that reduce satisfaction. As a young man, I played the game well and moved up the ladder in my firm, and in society. However, I notice that success left me feeling empty, rather than satisfied. My first self-realizations focused on what wasnt satisfying in my life. Gradually, I saw the role that freedom played in my good days. As someone that likes to feel free, the following need to be carefully considered: Desk jobs Long term commitments Marriage Kids Debt Traditional corporate employment All of the above have played an important role in my life - commitments themselves are not a problem. The problem arises when I try to do too much at one time. So, I phase my commitments based on my near, medium and long-term goals. Coming back to what I wrote in Simplified Personal Planning, I need to phase items that constrain me and place high-productivity blocks into my year, generally in the winter when mental achievement compensates for restrictions on my physical life. Finances - If you value freedom then keep your personal expenses as low as possible. Consuming a lot of the family's resources, especially when travelling without your family, is a recipe for friction. Be Visible With Your Choices - The way I live my life is visible to my peer group. Regarding car, clothes, jewelry and other wants: let others have superior goods, or take the credit for success. Stay focused on your true needs. Be what you appear to be while living transparently.

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Be Reliable on Little Things - Turn up on time; always beat your budget; do it right the first time. Consistently take care of the little things. Little things create trust, which is required for freedom (or respect, or responsibility, or whatever drives your motivation). Upgrade Your Peer Group - If you want quality people in your life, and personal freedom, then you'll need to upgrade your associates. Seek friends that mirror the values you want to live. Choose your partners very carefully. Be The Change If you want a fit spouse then be a fit spouse If you want support then be supportive If you want to be in charge then make yourself fit for leadership We can't fool the people that are close to us - so it is best to be open, consistent and true to your mission. If you feel like your past, or childhood, overwhelms you with negative emotions then start with small, but daily, actions to build trust. As a personal aside, don't confuse a desire for freedom with a desire to be served. When I am feeling overburdened, I want the world to cater to me. The freedom we seek will not arrive by oppressing those around us. The solution is to simplify my life so I can focus on the fundamentals of my personal plan. Creating an enjoyable private life requires a willingness to be less "successful" publicly.

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Intimate Relationships My most important lesson so far is the knowledge that if I had been protected from making mistakes then I would have missed out on a lot of self-improvement. Having the opportunity to face the consequences of poor decisions has been essential for my development. My bias towards action can get in the way of a need to stand back and let others work things out for themselves. The other lesson was how to go about making myself a suitable partner for marriage. My ability to be a good spouse didnt happen until after I gave up on marriage and focused on self-improvement. +++ I asked my wife, Monica, what shed recommend to seek in a partner. She came up with: Puts you first Similar interests and, as a couple, you share those interests together Trust Your best friend To that list, Id offer: Dont associate with anyone with anger flowing through him or her. Move these people, gently, from your life. A person that cant control their anger makes a poor partner. Anger is a sign that were not living consistently with our true nature. Remember that were all prone to the myth of the perfect stranger (see Livingston). The way we see others is a function of how we see ourselves. The solution to our relationship challenges lies inside us, rather than finding a perfect stranger. While it is folly to expect marriage, or children, to fix a relationship, we have an impact on everyone thats inside our inner circle. Look for a good fit in the key areas where conflicts happen: o Values the personal planning process will enable you to see how you want to live. Seek partners, and peers, that share your outlook on how to live well. Values are not about right/wrong they are a matter of culture and perspective. o Finances how you use money o Schedule how you schedule time o Family your approach elders, peers and children o Home how you split the work of running a house o Work the time commitment you make to your careers Im likely complicating things with my long list so focus on these three: kindness, sense of humor, makes you want to be a better person. Three things helped me create a stable, intimate relationship:

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I was comfortable with the possibility that I would spend the rest of my life alone. Society tells us, incorrectly, that our value derives from the person we can get to sleep with us. Our value derives from the sort of person we become. We can have very satisfying lives within any relationship status. I worked, and continue to work, on becoming the sort of person that I wanted to marry. I moved to a place that had the greatest number of people that are similar to whom I wanted to marry. The tactic of surrounding myself with what I want to achieve/become/find has worked very well.

In marriage, as in life, we need to create what works for us. My wife and I remind ourselves that our marriage need only work for the two of us. Five habits that reduce stress in relationships: Visibility my schedule is available and accessible at all times Stable week where we see each other most days swimming is something we enjoy so I set my schedule to see my wife at the pool. Every person has something thats special to him or her. Find that special thing and share it. Date Night one night weekly to discuss whatever we want mainly for me to run through my lists and consult before taking action Couples Trips two nights away, monthly, just the two of us (when weve had a newborn in the family, he/she gets to tag along) Couples Retreats one week away, annually, just the two of us Space I dont know if it is all men but I need frequent blocks of time alone, and in silence. I travel one week a month and Im never away for more than two weeks at a time. The idea is to share experiences and create frequent opportunities for communication. People grow apart due to lack of communication (things build up) and independent change. These arent bad things, per se, but weve found that a little effort lets us grow together. It will be fun to come back to this section in a few years and see how its changed. In life, things change and thats OK. The next section shifts towards kids and family. We were very fortunately to get our marriage settled-in before our first child arrived.

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A Recipe For A Successful Couples Retreat Make time for just the two of you. Go to an inexpensive place were you are unlikely to be disturbed. Turn your phones off. Share things that you both like doing. Each person gets to run through his or her "list". Your list can contain anything thats on your mind. Ive found that writing down items of concern makes them real, and also gives me time to put them in perspective. If something is a repeating source of stress for multiple months then discussion, followed by action, is required. Discuss finances, family and time -- these seem to be the issues that can create underlying stress. Focus on the near term, and the long term. Agree points, take action, and follow up. Dont let the business of being a family get in the way of having fun and sharing experiences. Don't keep score.

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Family Planning Our first child was born just before I turned 40 and it worked out well that I waited to become a father. This allowed me to: Spend 20 years taking two careers as far as I wanted (finance and elite athletics) Have a chance to travel and save money Have a chance to learn and improve my patience Kids involve a significant reduction in personal freedom and Im glad we waited. Similar to investments, if you are unsure then wait! So far, the best reason for kids is children bring love into the world. Loneliness, and the need for reliable support, is a common challenge faced by the elderly. Its possible to use assisted living to sub-contract many of the hassles of growing old. However, a better (or back up) solution is a strong marriage with children that have been brought up in an environment of love and self-respect. On the tough days, my wife jokes to me that shes sure parenthood will ultimately payoff. Optimism is a valuable trait in a spouse, or parent! +++ Before we had kids, I gave thought to the financial impact of children. Looking back, I focused on the wrong areas. Considering the questions that follow may help you get a better expectation on the financial impact of children. Will you both work? What level of childcare will you need? What preschool will your kids attend? Will you want to maintain your ability to travel without your kids? How does having kids impact your healthcare premiums? How does having kids impact your vehicles and where you live? When I ran the numbers on having a family, all I thought about was food and clothing. Those are minor costs compared to the changes that happen with the way you want to live your life, how you will give care to the kids and where your children will go to school. Even if you get all the numbers correct, another area where I failed to anticipate change was the impact on my time. If I knew how much my world would shrink then I probably wouldnt have had kids. That would have been a big mistake because, it turns out, that I dont mind at all. 39

Fit Pregnancy We have all heard stories about massive weight gain during pregnancy. Tabloid journalism reports on stars gaining up to 80 pounds across their pregnancies. Listening to these tales, many women must wonder if large amounts of baby weight are the norm. Do I have to become huge, to have a healthy baby? My wife, Monica, has navigated three successful pregnancies and her experience might be relevant to you. If you apply three tips from this section then remember: 1 Do some form of activity every single day of your pregnancy 2 Use you will power for portion control, not food avoidance 3 Be flexible with number one and number two What are a womans concerns when shes thinking about getting pregnant? I will lose my body I will lose my health I won't be able to do anything I will get fat and never recover Its going to hurt Were triathletes but Monica didn't ride her bike during (or since) her pregnancies. Instead, she focused on swimming, running and yoga. When we were trying to conceive, she maintained a high level of physical activity but immediately shifted her priority to the babys health once she became pregnant. No Zeros -- Monica did some form of physical activity every single day, for all of her pregnancies - even the day her water broke. She found the activity streak to be useful for her motivation. While our medical advice was that it was OK to maintain a fitness program through pregnancy. Monica's doc also noted that there isn't much practical knowledge about pregnancy and the endurance athlete. The warnings boiled down to: Don't let your body overheat Stay well hydrated Don't get out of breath (steady effort, or lower) Listen to your body While most people talk about trimesters, looking from the outside, I noticed shifts closer to ten-week blocks within Monica's 40-week pregnancy. 40

 First ten weeks -- hormonal changes, mainly impacted mood and appetite. Monica channeled her cravings towards fresh fruit (rather than sugar/starch). Second ten weeks -- feeling much better, moderated her life with an attitude of baby-comes-first. Third ten weeks -- pregnancy starts to show, pubic bone discomfort at 26 weeks, stopped running at 30 weeks, shifted to an elliptical trainer 2 times per week. Final ten weeks -- months of high frequency swimming left her feeling great in the water, some high volume swim weeks, hiking started around 34 weeks, elliptical reduced to once per week. To sum up Monica's focus: Pre-pregnancy -- health, not fitness During pregnancy -- baby comes first, keep moving Post partum activity comes way down to lack of sleep and the babys needs The biggest mental challenges Monica faced were: Not stopping Coping with weight gain Coping with her body changing Coping with peer group response There will be days where you feel like everyone wants you to get huge, slow down and be uncomfortable. Those feelings are normal and it helps to know that all pregnant ladies are dealing with them. Lets consider the message that youre likely to hear from your peer group and family: Its okay to be sedentary Its okay to gain large amounts of weight Give in to sugar cravings and the desire to overeat Now that might not be what our doctors are being trained to say but its what I hear repeated from women and expectant fathers. That is a lousy message to communicate for the mothers health, which directly impacts her baby. Inverting the message, a summary of Monicas approach: Maintain pre-conception activity and drop intensity across the board Do something every single day, even if its a walk or float in the pool Focus on nutrition, and health, rather than your weight Use willpower on portion control, not food avoidance

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Its important to emphasize that Monica didnt have any weight goals, rather the pregnancy saw a consistent focus on the four bullet points above. Additional tips for the couple-to-be: Clear your schedule and create space for change - You will have a fundamental, and permanent, change in your life. Reduce the stress of this change by making space for baby. It is not possible to create too much space! Create stability in your marriage and keep what works - Before the kids come, figure out the routine that works for you and hold the core of that routine once the kids arrive. For us, that means maintaining a weekly date night and a monthly couples retreat. For the first months of life, the newborn is a permanent fixture of our time together. Be flexible - A plan is great but when the baby arrives, if not before, youll realize that your plan probably needs to change. Dads: Do what youre told - Resolve issues later, if at all. After youve watched childbirth, youll be grateful for the rest of your life. Be there for the birth - Pregnancy and childbirth provide you with a unique opportunity to demonstrate that you are trustworthy. In life, we dont get many opportunities to clearly demonstrate character. A reality nobody mentions is that it is tougher to keep it together after, rather than before, childbirth. Making Monicas tips a habit before pregnancy will benefit the rest of your life.

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Birth and Babies We went to all the classes before baby number one arrived and felt punked (!) by the reality of childbirth. Things they dont tell you about childbirth: It can be really slow Pain it hurts, a lot Blood theres going to be a lot of blood afterwards, thats normal That said, aside from these three points, the classes were helpful and I recommend them. Childbirth is a total-body experience for your wife, being able to share that can create a deep bond. She will always remember if you were there for her. Besides, after you watch, you'll spend the rest of your life grateful that your wife is handling the birthing part of the relationship. Blew my mind! Four things that helped me with babies: Dont panic stay relaxed They dont break but always support the head and neck Swaddle screaming infants Babies talk by crying Similar to how dogs detect fear, kids feed off a stressed parent. The points above are easy for me to remember when faced with a screaming kid.

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Coping With Kids When Lex (our oldest) was born, I intuitively knew that the main goal of childcare was to keep her alive. This isn't a joke. I think health and safety is number one for what we can bring young kids. What I struggled with was the lack of measurable goals, targets, metrics or anything concrete. With a toddler, there is not much to achieve. I thought: What's going to be most valuable to me at 65 or 75 years old? I answered: Friendship, companionship and love. So I focus on two things: Health and safety (always number one) Demonstrating love to the people around my kids The early years are a challenge and there are days when I think about escaping! However, there are enough good moments, social taboos and legislation to sustain me. Here is what works for us: Rotate the kids - If I am dealing with kids all day then I am shot by nightfall. The days where we split the kids are a lot easier. Im working on being able to share the insanity as a form of bonding with my wife. I have some work to do on using the craziness of our young family as a source of marital strength. Sleep trumps everything - Well rested, I find my most challenging days entertaining. My amusement feeds into the situation and helps diffuse it. When tired, I can feel myself wanting to lead by domination. When rested, I'm able to lead by letting situations run their course. Remove time pressure - Everything with children takes twice as long as I'd expect. That's ok because I don't want to run out of things to do when taking care of a toddler! On a family vacation, focus on the family - Hybrid trips have proven to be a disaster. Your career will keep you sane but save that for when youre at the office. You Cant Do It All Simultaneously - Combining my roles (father, husband, businessman, athlete) reduces the quality of my experience. My satisfaction plummets with multitasking. Finally, the worst situations make the best memories. Some day it will all pay off

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Part Four Business & Finance Discussions of money and wealth can generate emotional responses on par with the topics of religion, politics and nutrition. We live in a world where the majority link financial wealth to self-worth. Its important to remember the real social pressure that creates on our decisions and views. If self-confidence is a personal weakness then youll be prone to abdicate personal responsibility for your finances. I think that is a mistake because creating a few small habits will have a large impact on your personal satisfaction, and greatly reduce that chance that youll ever run into financial problems. When I ask people to define financial independence, most people back into their answer based on current spending. While it seems attractive to have our financial needs via passive income, the idle rich are poor role models. Constantly saving money so that you might have the ability to spend an amount of money in the future is a lousy goal. First, you might never achieve your goal. Second, it overlooks a much easier, and more valuable, goal. Financial independence is about having the reserves to generate freedom of location and occupation. Ethically, a little bit of financial backing gives you the ability to say yes to what you want to do. Most importantly, financial reserves make it far easier to stand your ground on what you are unwilling to do.

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Creating Financial Health When I was young, I thought that it would be nice to "be rich" but had no idea about true wealth. Along my journey, I have realized that wealth is neither the goal, nor the benefit of financial security. The two main benefits of wealth are ethical reinforcement and personal freedom. If the pursuit of wealth forces you to compromise your values, or ties you to unpleasant situations...then one really needs to consider if there is a benefit at all. The following habits changed my life. Ive built them gradually and share them so you can improve your financial health and increase true wealth. 1 -- Spend less than you make: This one habit made a tremendous difference in my life. It has served me extremely well and, when I encounter setbacks, I have the resources to bounce back. Keep your financial life as simple as possible. Heres how I started: Create a monthly budget Pay a separate savings account with 10 percent of what you earn Compare your forecasts against reality By making a habit of paying yourself first and creating visibility for your spending, you will set up a habit of accumulating capital. Remember that saving is the most important part of investing. 2 -- Protect core capital: What is core capital? Put simply, it is capital that you cannot afford to lose. Core capital gives a buffer within our lives. Annually, I compare my core capital to my cost of living. I express my net worth as years of expenditure. I ask myself, How long could I last if all my revenue ceased? While that sounds extreme, Ive had two incidents in my life where my income suddenly dropped by 95 percent. Across a lifetime, it would be unusual for something unexpected not to happen. When my income crashed, my core capital gave me time, which is a valuable resource during a crisis. Time to consider my position, time to make a plan and time to execute my strategy. An important use of financial assets is their ability to buy time. How much core capital do you require? Thats for you to decide. With the habit of spending less than you earn, you will have the ability to continually build your core capital.

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In my early 20s, a decision to live simply enabled me to build core capital, despite being the lowest paid person in the company. By my early 30s, having a few years of expenditure banked was a key factor in having the courage to change the direction of my life. In my early 40s, my core capital was tapped when I suddenly found myself unemployed with a young family to support. Saving 10 percent has little short-term impact but having multiple years of Core Capital gives tremendous flexibility to our lives. Set small savings targets that you always meet. A habit of frequent saving is more important than the amount you save. Small amounts become large over a lifetime. 3 -- Be wary of leverage: The first two tips are what it takes to build financial security. The next two tips cover how most of us blow it. My core capital has no borrowings against it and is set aside, separate from any guarantees or other liabilities. Its a rainy day fund that I expect never to use but have had to tap when faced with unexpected adversity. Im not saving money to acquire luxury assets, dabble in the stock market or roll- the-dice. My Core Capital exists to ensure that I have time to cope with unexpected setbacks. I achieved my Core Capital goal before I ever bought a house, leased a car or borrowed money from a bank. In times when money is freely available, it is tempting to scale up lifestyle. During boom times, stick to the basics of financial health: spend less than you make and consistently add to Core Capital. Even moderate levels of leverage can lead to financial setbacks. When money is tight (2009-2011), that lesson will be fresh in our minds. However, liquidity moves in cycles and, 15 years from now, liquidity might be different. Think back to 2005- 2007 when people could borrow large sums with merely a signature. Remember, never leverage your core capital and ring fence the way that leverage can create financial loss. Use insurance and corporate structures to protect against personal loss. Make sure that your friends, children and business partners handle their own loan guarantees. For most of us, the greatest financial gift we can give our children is relieving them from any obligation to take care of mom and dad! Im going to dig a little deeper into leverage.

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A common mistake for investors, and lenders, is failing to consider downstream leverage. Just because there isnt leverage against your investment, doesnt mean that your investment isnt leveraged. Lets examine a simple case study. I buy an asset for $1,000. I borrow $500 to pay for my purchase so I am leveraged on my investment ($500:$500 = 1:1). If the investment falls from $1,000 to $900 (10%) then I lose $100 on my equity investment ($100/$500 = 20%).

The use of borrowings has magnified the return that I receive on my investment with 10% reduction in asset value resulting in a 20% reduction in equity value.

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What if the asset that I bought was shares in a company? If that company had a capital structure that was 70:30 (debt:equity) how would that impact the value of my investment? Lets assume a similar, 10% reduction in the value of the asset in this case the shares of the company. Company is worth $10,000 ($7,000 debt and $3,000 equity) I own $1,000 of equity, 33 1/3% (funded $500:$500) Company value falls to $9,000 ($7,000 debt and $2,000 equity) Value of what I own falls to $667 ($500 debt and $167 equity)

In the case above, a 10 percent reduction in the value of the asset resulted in a 67 percent reduction in the value of my investment. Its important to run a wide range of scenarios to understand how various changes will impact your investment value. If you cant understand the scenarios then dont invest! Remember that you always have the option of waiting. This is just one way that leverage can wipe you out. The world is full of agents, brokers and hustlers that make money by getting you to do a deal, any deal. These financial players have a vested interest in getting you to do something, anything. Keep your financial life as simple as possible. Because 49

4 -- You only need to achieve financial security once: If you follow the first three habits and, use my personal planning tips, then you will stack the deck in your favor of a lifetime of financial health. I started saving in my teens, when I couldnt conceive of being 30 years old. However, once I built a habit of saving, it continued on autopilot and served me very well. Over the years, there have been times when Ive strayed from the fundamentals that I presented here: Spend less than you earn Avoid personal leverage Protect yourself from situations, even remote ones, which can wipe you out Each time I would stray, my intuition would warn me (often strongly) to get back to basics. Change is painful but changing my ways, and returning to basics, has proven to be the right decision every time. It is surprisingly difficult to stick to the basics. We let our guard down, we cut corners, we are less careful. We need to be constantly vigilant! 5 Wealth and freedom: Im motivated by freedom: Principally, freedom of location, and freedom of occupation. Building up financial wealth can help, and hinder, our relationship with freedom. At the back of my mind, there is always the thought that if I could just have a little more money then Id have more freedom. The trap of more is always with me and strongly reinforced by peers and the media. This book shares my antidotes to the trap of more. As you discover your own, write them down and send them to me (!). Within my life, Im always looking to balance the influences of the media. Because they have been so helpful with my relationship with money, Ill repeat my life lessons: The quickest way to increase disposable income is to reduce personal expenditure. The fastest way to improve my perceived standard of living is to associate with people that have a lower one. Collect experiences not possessions. Live a simple, healthy, outdoor life with good friends and exciting challenges. 50

My students come to me and I travel to the best teachers

If in doubt then WAIT Id encourage you to explore your true motivators and create your own Things To Remember. Write them down, review them before making investments and remember that you always have the option to wait. Whether your true motivator is freedom, acceptance, love or something else money can help but is a poor substitute for the real thing. By failing to understand our true motivators, we often spend our lives trapped in a cycle of consumption, wondering why external treats (food, luxuries, assets) bring little satisfaction. Your annual review can be the catalyst to help you break free.

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Tips To Protect Yourself From Fraud Within my corporate and personal life, fraud is the main cause of financial loss and distraction. Some memorable examples: Personal loans from a company Renovations to a managers residence by a company contractor Borrowing money against an asset that didnt exist Infidelity Unauthorized prepayments and advances Selling assets and failing to deliver them Misappropriation company funds by overpaying for assets In good times, you will be tempted to short cut these tips. Please dont. 1 Watch, and control, the cash: Go beyond budgets and financial statements. Make sure that you control, and oversee, all the ways that money can enter, and leave, your life. For financial health, nothing is more important than cash flow. 2 Ask questions: We share an inhibition to asking questions. Fraudsters will take advantage of this shared trait, outlined extremely well by Cialdini in his book, Influence. 3 Take references and check facts: If you get a bad reference then walk away. By paying attention to red flags you will save time, money and protect your reputation. Be open to bad news and information that goes against the grain. It is the only way to counteract our programming to seek out information that confirms our hopes. 4 Get inside: If you are investing more than 10 percent of your net worth in a project, or company, then get inside so you have superior information. If you can't get inside then don't invest. Venture Capital companies and Private Equity firms have acted on this "secret" for years. 5 Speak to the auditors: This phone call rarely gets made and that is a shame. If your financial health relies on a specific business then verify beyond what youre being told. When you speak with the auditors do it independently and speak with the accountant that did the work (not the partner in charge). Questions to ask: 1. Tell me one thing that you found that concerned you. 2. What was your materiality threshold? 52

3. Did you tie all invoices to bank statements for everything above your threshold? 4. What connected party transactions did you discover? 5. Did you reconcile large payments to contractual documentation? 6. Did you reconcile large payments to an approved budget? 7. What is the approval/payment procedure for large transactions? 8. Which transactions were paid outside of the normal approval/payment procedures? Question number one is a good way to form questions. People are extremely reluctant to give negative feedback. So you ask them directly, but for "only one" point. That opens them up and gets the conversation going. Write your notes of that meeting up and send them to the accountant that worked on the company -- for their file and your own. The accounting firm will likely come back and tell you that answering these questions was outside of the scope of their work. Insist on having the work done independently -- it will save you money over the long run. Avoid people that seek to prevent you from implementing these strategies, as they are likely to have something to hide.

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Buying Real Estate One of the more common questions that I receive is, Where should I put my money? My answer has been: Cash Real Assets mainly property Operating Businesses where I have an impact on performance The largest investment that most of us will make is our personal home. Its important to do your homework before buying and this section will explain why, and how, to do the necessary work. Real estate has significant costs, many hidden, that you must discover before locking yourself into a specific location. Given that we are all sellers, eventually, consider why someone would buy you out. Study the historical rate of sales in the location you are considering. How long does it take for properties to sell? The process I use to evaluate real estate is the same regardless of end use: Figure out the true cost of ownership Prepare a realistic view on income potential Compare to my alternatives Settle on a valuation independent of asking price Each stage of the investment evaluation process is impacted by assumptions and my own personal biases. As well, its really difficult not to be swayed by emotion and common human misjudgments (see Munger in Best Books). My ideal characteristics for a real estate investment: Cheap relative to location More land, and square footage, than I need Easy to rent Easy for someone else to manage for me Close to a location where I spend lots of time (home or office for most of us) Cheap doesnt mean a small price and you need to be careful of a lack of discipline with small deals. What Im looking for is a purchase price thats low relative to different measures of value. I consider: Low entry price per square/foot Ability to subdivide the lot Implied value of the land subtracting the replacement cost of the building Likelihood of real economic growth in local economy Renovation and redevelopment opportunities based on current zoning 54

 Value is created by convenience, which is a function of location. Ask yourself, How convenient would it be to live/work at this location? Somebody will always pay for a location thats super convenient. If you cant find the right property then wait because the true cost of owning is nearly always higher than the cost to rent. Heres my information checklist: Cost of Capital What does it cost you to buy and what is it likely to cost the next owner to buy from you? Taxes Transfer taxes, city taxes, county taxes Association Fees On-going, special assessments and transfer fees Insurance Building, contents, general liability Deductibles Something will go wrong eventually, I make an allowance for a portion of my deductible each year Repairs Make an allowance to upgrade the roof, furnace and appliances on acquisition. If I get extra life from the existing ones then I treat that as a bonus. Capital Allowance (Roof, Building, New Regulations) There is a big difference from the cost of ownership between a new building and an old one. Have the property inspected before you buy. Assume that there are hidden liabilities that you need to find in advance. There is always something! Repairs & Maintenance The more complex the land and buildings, the greater the time and cost to maintain them Utilities Potentially significant costs if borne by you Furniture Expensive to store and loaded with hassle if you have to sell in a hurry Time, Hassle, Management Fees I always subcontract as much of the management as possible. While tempting to bring in-house, Ive found that the time/cost isnt worth the hassle. Limits on freedom You will be tied to any location where you have an investment. Make sure the location is one where you will want to be tied for five, ten and twenty years. For any investment to work well, it needs to be a long-term investment. This one discipline will save you tens of thousands of dollars over your lifetime. If the above list of information seems like too much work then dont buy because you are likely to do a bad deal. Ideally, to reduce the impact of bias, gather as much of the information before you start looking at potential acquisitions. Once you start your search, you will have a tendency to seek out information that confirms the direction you want to go. 55

Potential for change of use or a planning variation

After you make an offer, you will have a powerful desire to win. The desire to win should remain separate from your true need to do an outstanding deal. Frequently repeat that you dont need to do a deal, you need to do a good deal. I state this point repeated (to my wife and advisers) when negotiating with others. So why buy? What are the benefits of ownership? Place to live Place to store your stuff Store of real purchasing power Fall back plan, form of self-insurance Forced savings via mortgage debt repayment Potential to earn capital gains if you buy wisely Im going to use some case studies to illustrate the benefits, and pitfalls, of ownership. In the case studies, pay attention to: Holding costs often ignored Areas of upside often hidden to sellers Impact of vacancy periods often ignored

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Vacation Condos For this example, Ive averaged between two similar units that I purchased in Tucson, Arizona. Annual Expenses are = $7,600 (8.3% of cost) Cost - $91,500 purchase + upgrades Taxes - $1,400 Association Fees - $2,400 Insurance - $300 Repairs & Maintenance (Appliances, Furnace) = $500 Utilities (Gas, Electric, Cable, Internet, Phone) = $3,000 $9,850 gross income (10.8% gross yield) $2,250 net income (2.5% net yield) The gross income variation between the two units is large: $3,500 versus $16,500 the gross income number above ($9,850) is an average. The income variation is due to a long vacancy during the summer in one of the units. This was a known risk for vacation rentals, where short-term rentals dry up in the off season. Prior to purchasing, I prepared financial projections and forecast that the condos would earn 7-8 percent (net). My projections turned out to be incorrect because the vacancy rate was more than I expected. With two units, my annual expenses are ~$15,000 and thats a big check to write in a worst-case scenario. What caused a collapse in the real estate market (2009/2010) was a combination of the fixed costs (shown above) with 100 percent debt finance on acquisition. The previous owners of these properties would have had ~$15,000 of annual interest expenses, $7,500 per unit. For seasonal rentals, dont fool yourself with your rental projections. If you plan on using the property during peak season (I didnt in this example) then youll miss out on the bulk of your rental income. When you consider a full year of expenses to own, its often cheaper to pay a premium for a short-term rental. If I focused only on the gross income figure then I would have greatly overestimated how the properties were doing. Ultimately, I made the decision to sell these units because they underperformed my expectations.

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Residential House This example comes from a residential property purchase that came up at short notice in my neighborhood in Boulder. By moving quickly, as a cash buyer, I was able to purchase at an attractive price. Annual Expenses are = $7,000 (1.0% of cost) Cost - $700,000 purchase + upgrades Taxes - $4,000 Insurance - $1,150 Repairs & Maintenance (Landscaping, Building, Appliances, Furnace) = $2,000 Management Fees - $850 $27,000 gross income (3.9% gross yield) $20,000 net income (2.9% net yield) The cost of ownership is a much lower percentage due to renting unfurnished, without utilities. Executive rentals are expensive for the landlord. While ownership associations are convenient, they are inefficient for cost management. This deal made sense to me because I expected that I would be able to hold land at a yield similar to long-term government bonds; 10-year rates were 2.5 percent at the time of purchase. Over a 10-year time horizon, I figured there was a very good chance that the capital value of the land would increase materially. There is an opportunity to subdivide the lot and reduce my investment significantly. If I subdivide then Ill be able to recover 60% of my cost and have a 8.5% net yield on my residual investment. Finally, I have the option to move into the house and free the capital that is tied up in my current house (which is much larger than this property). This final point is an example of how certain investments are worth more to certain buyers. Investments that contain imbedded options can be more valuable than strict financial analysis might indicate.

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City Center House This deal was an income property located in the heart of Boulder. Annual Expenses are = $10,500 (1.2% of cost) Cost - $850,000 purchase + upgrades Taxes - $5,500 Insurance - $850 Repairs & Maintenance (Landscaping, Building, Appliances, Furnace) = $3,000 Management Fees - $1,150 $40,000 gross income (4.8% gross yield) $29,500 net income (3.5% net yield) The higher yield on this property is deceptive. The house is 90 years old (!) and hasnt been redone since the mid-70s. At some stage in the next 15 years there will be a large capital outlay required. Im not convinced that I would receive any incremental rent (by improving the house) so Im waiting as long as possible before spending large amounts of money. This property can also be used by my family in a worst-case scenario. There is a 1,200 square feet detached unit in the back of the house. The residual rental income from the main house would cover our living costs and the location is walking distance to public schools. This investment acts as life insurance policy for my family. This deal, and the previous example, provides options for my family downsize if required. These investments offer my family the ability to incrementally shrink our balance sheet by moving into smaller and smaller houses. I expect that these deals will hold their inflation-adjusted purchasing power and pay a yield similar to long- term government bonds. While the residential property deals provide valuable options to my family, there is a material downside risk, which I will explain in the next section.

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Understanding Yield Shifts If you havent had formal financial or accounting training then this section requires a effort. Reading it slowly, and working through the examples, is extremely valuable for learning how financial assets are valued. Even professional investors can miss the impact of gradual, long-term trends in perception. When I started making property investments in the mid-90s, net yields were greater than our cost of finance and that created the possibility for a favorable yield shift. Put simply, the rent I received from owning was more than my expenses, including interest. A long-term shift in valuation perception is one of the most important concepts in investing. The tailwind from a favorable shift can make you (incorrectly) think you are a genius. Likewise, the headwind from an unfavorable shift can crush you, especially when you have borrowed money. Lets create a simple case study to review the impact of a yield shift: The net annual income from a target property is $25,000; and The cost of capital for the buyer is 5 percent. If the buyer invests $500,000 ($25,000/0.05) to secure the property then the expected yield is 5 percent (net income/purchase cost). So the expected yield is equal to the cost of capital. When I started doing deals, we were able to purchase properties at an expected yield of 7.5 percent. To buy $25,000 of annual net cash flow, we would have to pay $333,333 ($25,000/0.075).

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 Over time, the yield required by buyers decreased and we looked like geniuses. The property that could be bought for $333,333 continued to appreciate as yields fell towards to 2.5 percent. The yield shift was separate from the specific qualities of any deal. In other words, we could make money from bad deals simply because the world was changing the way it viewed property assets. Digging a little deeper, there are some figures that impact the value of your investment: The cost of capital for your competition The availability of capital for your competition The net yield requirements of your competition The perceived net cash flow from the investment In a boom, we see the following happen: The cost of capital drops for all buyers Debt is freely available for unsophisticated buyers; so the net yield requirements drop Number one and number two create a pattern of rising capital values; so a large number of buyers ignore the need for net cash flow. When the bubble bursts, market forces swing the opposite direction and feed our collective fear of loss. You will do your best deals when fear is high but you will need cash to buy because nobody will support you.

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Lets revisit our example and assume that the buyer expects yields to fall to 2.5 percent within two years. Whats the property worth?

The property that could be bought for $333,333 (when yield requirements were 7.5 percent) is projected to be worth $1,000,000. The change in value is due to a shift in the yield requirement from 7.5 percent to 2.5 percent. This effect is wonderful when it goes in your favor, far less so when it goes against you. Over the last 29 years, what has happened to long-term mortgage rates in the United States? Long-term mortgage rates have declined from ~15 percent to ~3.25 percent. For my entire adult life, financial assets have enjoyed a sustained favorable tailwind. Back to our example and using mortgage rates for yield expectation, we see that the property will show a valuation range of $166,667 (at 15 percent) to $769,000 at 3.25 percent). Making accurate predictions for yields and inflation rates is impossible (see Taleb, The Black Swan in the Best Books section). However, spending time to project the impact of various scenarios is smart. For example, when I lived in Hong Kong in the mid-90s, I ran my projections and discovered that net yields were approaching 1.5 percent. Given that I could earn 5 percent by leaving my money in the bank, I decided that property wasnt worth the

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risk or hassle. That said, the people that bought when yields were at 3 percent made a lot of money and its tough to sit on the sidelines during a boom. To protect, and project, the net income of your investment, focus on property locations where you expect to see long-term real economic growth. Real economic growth is the key driver of the cash flow from your investment. To do better than inflation your property needs to benefit from a local economy thats growing faster than inflation. The tips above apply to every class of investment you might consider. Remember: Assess: Cash flow after all expenses Understand: Your personal investment goals Consider: Long-term trends in valuation Negotiate: A margin of safety If in doubt then wait.

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How It Can Go Wrong In late 2012, with mortgage rates at historical lows (3.3 percent APR), there is tremendous downside if rates increase by shifting back to historical norms. Lets imagine what would happen if mortgage rates, and yield requirements, increase to 7.5 percent. Using our simple valuation formula: Condos: $2,250 @ 7.5% = $30,000 Value vs. $91,500 Cost Residential: $20,000 @ 7.5% = $266,667 Value versus $700,000 Cost City Center: $29,500 @ 7.5% = $393,333 Value versus $850,000 Cost This doomsday scenario assumes mortgage rates that are half of the peak rates that Ive seen in my lifetime (~15%). Whether or not this outcome is likely, it is possible based on conditions that Ive seen in my lifetime. We cant predict what is going to happen but we need to understand how all scenarios will impact our lives. For me, the risk of short-term capital losses in my property investments is worth the benefit of a potential hedge against long-term inflation. Because the investments are held without borrowings, I have the ability to wait-it-out through any down cycle. The properties are designed to meet specific needs: Store of value in the case of unexpected inflation Create options for gradually downsizing my life Life insurance for my family Yields similar to long-term government bonds Other considerations, which are commonly overlooked: Taxes In most countries, you will be able to depreciate the value of your investment property (building only) against the income that you receive. As well, future profits, taken as capital gains, often receive favorable tax treatment. Own versus Lease Always make the comparison between owning and renting. In many neighborhoods, you will do best by renting. Loss of Freedom I have spent considerable time in Canada, England, Hong Kong, New Zealand, Bermuda, Scotland, France, Australia and the United States. Early in my career, most of my peers were tied to a single geography. Being mobile was a huge asset to the rapid development of my career in Private Equity. Owning property reduces your mobility, or makes it very inconvenient to move. Switching Costs If you make a mistake then its likely to cost you 15-35 percent of your investment to get out quickly. If you are unsure then wait. 64

Luxury and vacation properties Aside from an engagement ring (!), do not capitalize the luxuries in your life. Life is full of unexpected surprises and the ability to rapidly cut expenses is valuable. Remember my condo case study, deals with high costs of ownership can bite you in the butt. Illiquid The only time property investments are easy to sell is when youll be tempted to hang on! Remember to leave-something-in-the-deal for the next owner. Size down and locate up When I was young, there was no way I could afford to live close to where I worked (London, Hong Kong). So I rented a room, not a house, at a price that was a fraction of my cost of ownership and saved my money. Patience In the early 90s, the partners of my firm bought most of the units at a City-Center development in the best part of Central London. The property market had been horrible for a few years and, as cash buyers, they had the opportunity to do a once-in-a-generation deal for themselves. About once a decade, Ive had the chance to do a once-in-a-lifetime deal You will be saving and investing for the rest of your life. At some time over the next 10-20 years, there will be great deals that nobody wants to buy. When that happens, you will want the capital to take advantage of those opportunities. A handful of great deals make a successful investment career. Most of investing is about saying no, waiting and researching. As an investor, one of our greatest fears is missing out -- it's tough to sit on the sidelines when everyone is participating in a boom. In a rising market there is plenty of talk that leads us to feel good about joining in. Markets abound with stories of making money. Remember that we only hear about the good deals -- people don't brag about their dud investments.

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Downside Scenarios If you are thinking about borrowing money then you should always run downside scenarios. Consider your debt service obligations as a percentage of your total family expenditure. Even if you dont own, consider rent as a percentage of total expenditure. Do you have an idea of whats required to put your family in financial jeopardy? This is a realistic downside scenario that I like to consider: Knock 20 percent off the value of your real estate investments Set all your asset-backed (mortgage) debt service costs to 10 percent per annum Set all your unsecured (credit cards, etc) debt service costs to 20 percent per annum Are you still solvent? Lose your job -- how many months until you lose your house? Ive seen leverage sink good friends. Across a lifetime, we will experience unexpected setbacks. While you wont be able to avoid setbacks, you can limit their ability to wipe you out. Most of us have little direct personal experience with the combination of asset deflation/wealth destruction and high interest rates. Right now (2012), everyone expects that rates will stay low for many years. What if that doesnt happen?

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The Cost of Time How does an investor, parent or employer, quantify the true cost of a poor decision? A bad investment costs you money, but the biggest losses stem from the aspect that never hits your bank account. What do I mean? The number one cost of a poor decision is the time lost sorting out the situation. Specifically, not having the time to focus on the highest return areas of your portfolio, or life. We make a far greater return from focusing on our strengths, rather than getting bogged down with losers and weaknesses. In challenging times: Consider each dollar (and minute of your time) to be a new investment Move to limit liabilities and cut-off drains on finite resources (time, energy, capital) Ensure full disclosure to, and honest communication with, all parties Identify your highest yielding opportunities The four points above are REALLY hard to implement consistently. Why? We tend to overvalue existing positions We tend to overestimate the impact that we can have on a situation We are VERY likely to be part of the problem, rather than the solution Problems rarely turn themselves around when conditions are unfavorable An Investment Action List: Understand that we live in a world of imperfect, changing information that is impacted by the highly improbable. Know your blind spots and track how much these impact your decisions. Analyze the outcomes from important decisions - not in terms of good/bad - rather in terms of our capacity to see (in advance) the factors that played a role in eventual outcome. Understand your areas of expertise and, more importantly, know where youre clueless. Avoid large bets in areas where knowledge is limited because outcome will be a function of chance.

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Negotiating Your Best Deal There will be a handful of negotiations that have a big impact on the outcome of your financial life. Looking back, I have an important negotiation every 5-8 years. These might include: Finding a job A pay package Running a key project for my employer A leave of absence Purchasing an investment property In life, were negotiating all the time but its important to put these situations into context by comparing to our net worth and the impact of a poor decision. Its possible to spend a lot of energy on items that dont matter. Remember that most of our business life is practice for the few situations that will truly matter. Thousands of books have been written on influence and negotiation strategy. Ive included my favorites in the Best Books section. Ive taken the time to read everything in that section and here are the points that have best served me. To do a great deal, you must be willing to do no deal. Dont bother with projects that wont impact your life. I ask myself, Will getting this right, make a difference? If the answer is no then I focus on the areas of my life that generate satisfaction. These two points are fundamental so I will repeat: Be willing to walk away at any time Dont waste time with small stuff Applying those two lessons will filter most opportunities that come your way. This will enable you to maintain your focus on the areas of your life with the greatest return. In searching for opportunities, focus on areas where you have superior knowledge. If you dont have superior knowledge then dont get involved. Superior knowledge is another filter that saves time and enables you to focus on the core of your life. Armed with superior knowledge, you will be able to assess what an asset is worth to you (value). All markets are cyclical and heavily influenced by mood and money. Be patient and watch for when mood turns negative and money is hard to find. Those are the conditions where you can use your capital (in excess of your core capital) to negotiate superior deals.

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A final bit of investment discipline is my investment horizon. I ask myself, How long am I willing, and able, to hold this asset? If I catch myself thinking about flipping an investment quickly, or I might be unable to carry the holding costs for many years, then I dont bother. Using these tips, the universe of possible transactions quickly shrinks and that is a good thing. Keep it simple and stick to the fundamentals. If you are unsure of the fundamentals then wait until youve learned them.

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Performing When Stakes Are High Looking back, there have been less than ten negotiations that had a dramatic impact on my life. I call these negotiations Big Meetings and I have a routine that I use when I want to influence outcome in my favor. Prepare information and strategy: Figure out your desired outcome as well as the other partys goals. Get your facts together and organize them for ease of access during your negotiation. In non-business settings, I write my cues on a post-it note that I stick to a blank piece of paper. While listening to the other person talk, I can say, Hey, thats a good point take my blank paper out, acknowledge their idea by writing it down, and review my notes on desired outcome. In a negotiation, it costs us nothing to acknowledge that other side has valid points. Prepare the mind and body: I have the same routine that I use for all big meetings, and to start most days: Snack An hour of aerobic exercise (relaxed and moderate) Shower Healthy meal Start my day If the meeting is in the afternoon, or evening, then I will leave the office early to get my routine completed. I'll eat my pre-meeting meal and return to the office. The routine makes sure that I am alert, relaxed, stress-free and fueled. Generally, key meetings don't last more than three hours. If the meeting is going to be an all- day event then Ill take a break, go for a walk and grab a snack. When we are busy, or stressed, it is tempting to skimp on nutrition, sleep, or exercise. My productivity and clarity are far higher when I stick with my routines. As well, I do my best problem solving when exercising (a meditation of movement, perhaps). Manners: While we might think that we are rational players, we are emotional creatures and usually blind to our true drivers. Remember that appearances and manners count. When tempted to score points emotionally, remember that you will, ultimately, judge the results of your negotiation on outcome. Gather information and listen: If you did your homework then you will arrive at the meeting with clear goals, for yourself, and an outline of what you think the other side is looking to achieve. Before charging into your agenda, gather information 70

from the other side and listen to what they are saying. The best negotiators are able to identify non-conflicting goals on the other side and meet these needs while achieving their own agenda. Question, listen and watch the other side. Wingman: In high stakes negotiations, I like to have a partner to calm me (if I talk too much or get side-tracked) and to observe the other side. The best observers are those with a low emotional attachment to outcome. Prior to the meeting, I agree a signal (touch my knee, offer me a cookie) in case I need to refocus. If I get the signal then Ill ask for a short break to go to the bathroom, or have a drink of water, or anything that enables me to pause and refocus. Trust: Managing high-stakes situations is about trust -- you might get away with spinning things in normal times but it is a poor strategy when faced with important decisions. If the stakes are high, and the quality of the decision relies on the accuracy of information, then people don't mind waiting a couple of minutes (or even another day) while you figure out the right answer. If you dont know then say so. Summing up, the three most important lessons that Ive learned on negotiation: Let the other side be right while you focus on achieving your desired outcome. Always leave something in it for the other side. Karma has a way of coming back when we take unreasonable advantage of a superior position. Even negotiations that appear to be all about money have a large emotional component. If you find yourself dealing with a divorce then make sure you tape the above on your bathroom mirror.

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Epilogue (2012) I cant honestly tell you if the last 12 years were worth $25 million but I can share what I failed to anticipate when I decided to follow my heart. At 30, I had seen a lot of change but I had little experience with how the direction of our lives shifts. I had followed a typical education and career path. I thought that I had absolute certainties in my life. All of those certainties changed in ways that I failed to anticiapte. So my first lesson was change is the only certainty, so flexible plans have hidden values. A big chunk of this book, and my life, has been about money. When I decided to re- direct my life, at 31, my Dad told me to take the number that I thought I would need to retire and triple it. Not surprisingly, at the time, I thought he was out by a factor of three! Turns out he was pretty much bang on. Leaving Hong Kong in 2000 to start my new life, I didnt have a single tie in the world. No boss, no clients, no spouse, no kids, no job, no fixed address, not even a car. At the time, I was recently divorced. I was hostile to the idea of marriage and cool to the idea of relationships. I could not fathom why anyone would get married and thought my marriage had been the biggest, most public mistake of my life. I failed to realize that relationships are necessary for mental health and my marriage would become one of my greatest assets. My choice to change course started a self-transformation that led to my wife, Monica. The three characteristics (in her) that make our marriage work are a deep kindness, a shared sense of humor and an ability to instill a desire to improve myself. The goals, dreams and aspirations of an alpha-male in his early thirties are directed inwards. Spending my 20s and 30s striving for maximal self-achievement was a gift that proved extremely valuable. That said, I missed that my 30s were a period of my life, rather than a permanent state of living. Im conscious that my current life is also a phase. This helps me cope with the chaos of a house filled with small children! The main goal of my 30s was physical, to become the best triathlete that I could be. While I knew that Mother Nature would slow me down, the physical decline of aging is something that needs to be experienced to be appreciated. I have a hunch that the continued changes of aging will reinforce my desire to share what Ive picked up along my journey. No regrets.

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Best Books Munger The Psychology of Human Misjudgment -- http://www.synthesispartners.net/Offered%20Materials/assets/mungermisjudgm ent.pdf This is an outstanding essay by Charlie Munger. Rather than seeking to memorize Mungers list of misjudgments, choose a handful that most directly apply in your life. Write these down in your personal planner so you remember to be wary. For aspiring writers, note Mungers use of stories to make a technical topic more interesting. Munger: Poor Charlies Almanack & Seeking Wisdom http://www.poorcharliesalmanack.com/ More Munger. The Almanack is a summary of his talks and writing. The book, Seeking Wisdom, outlines the various fields of study that have proven useful to Munger. Shiller: Irrational Exuberance http://www.amazon.com/Irrational-Exuberance-Second-Robert- Shiller/dp/B007827O0M Following your reading of Munger, this book brings the topics of human psychology with behavioral economics. I found it particularly useful for understanding long- term trends in real estate valuation. Drucker: Managing Oneself http://www.img.kerala.gov.in/docs/downloads/managingself.pdf Druckers essay with practical tips about managing our lives. I read it annually. Buffett: The Essays of Warren Buffett http://www.amazon.com/Essays-Warren-Buffett-Lessons- Corporate/dp/0966446127 Tips for how to conduct your business life and value assets. Bogle: The Little Book of Common Sense Investing http://www.amazon.com/Little-Book-Common-Sense-Investing/dp/0470102101 A proven, low risk strategy for personal investment in public markets. Taleb: The Black Swan & Fooled by Randomness http://www.amazon.com/Nassim-Nicholas-Taleb/e/B000APVZ7W Reading the Black Swan saved me from personal bankruptcy. These books helped me understand mean reversion as well as the impact of chance on our lives. Le Guin: Tao Te Ching http://www.amazon.com/Lao-Tzu-Ching-about-Power/dp/1590307445 Le Guins translation of this Lao Tzus classic writings on life. 73

Cialdini: Influence http://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psychology-Persuasion-Business- Essentials/dp/006124189X The classic work on understanding how, and why, we are prone to influence from others. Kahneman: Thinking, Fast and Slow http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Fast-Slow-Daniel-Kahneman/dp/0374275637 A deep look at how we think, remember and experience the world. Livingston: Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart & Always Keep Dancing http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&field- author=Gordon%20Livingston&ie=UTF8&search-alias=books&sort=relevancerank These books contain practical advice to counter our most common emotional traps. Karp: Happiest Baby On The Block http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466 Pure gold this book taught me how to settle a crying baby. Nhat Hahn: The Miracle of Mindfulness http://www.amazon.com/Miracle-Mindfulness-Introduction-Practice- Meditation/dp/0807012394 To be truly free, it helps to settle our minds. This book contains practical tips for learning to relax our minds. Kindlon & Thompson: Raising Cain http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Cain-Protecting-Emotional-Life/dp/0345434854 Very useful for understanding men of all ages. Pipher: Reviving Ophelia http://www.amazon.com/Reviving-Ophelia-Adolescent-Ballantine- Readers/dp/0345418786 Very useful for understanding women of all ages. Cameron: The Artists Way http://www.amazon.com/The-Artists-Way-ebook/dp/B006H19H3M In my 30s, I was unsure what to do with my life. The writing program in this book helped me sort through my thoughts and decide to take control of the direction of my life. Aurelius: Meditations http://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Thrift-Editions-Marcus- Aurelius/dp/048629823X Before there were blogs, there were the personal thoughts of the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius. If you enjoy this book then seek out the writings of other stoics. 74

Clason: The Richest Man in Babylon http://www.amazon.com/The-Richest-Man-Babylon-Ancients/dp/1607960664 The book is an effective use of parables to introduce concepts of fiduciary duty, savings and investment. If you struggle with grasping financial concepts then the short stories used by Clason offer a different angle for explaining the topic of money.

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An Extract From My Strategic Plan (Q3-2012) Whats Important Now Get Todays Priorities Done Stay Variable Big Picture Successful Marriage based on kindness and respect Peaceful Listening Retreats with Nature Wake-up By 7am - Ethical Life with Meaning Key Five Train Write Book Marriage Kids Learn Key Likes To explore and share new experiences To read good books and learn To write and teach Temperate weather with ample sunshine Maintain expense/income balance Geography Roots in Boulder California Base? Too expensive right now Home office in each location Winter/Spring Location Temperate weather with lots of sunshine Good cycling and a strong swim team Things we like to do and share Hang out walk, talk, coffee dates, dinner dates, book stores Exercise swimming, walking, running, day trips Limited Number of Clients Trim Endurance Corner Athlete Roster Focus on key family

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Body Mind

Variety of organic fruits and veggies // the best nutrition possible Low sugar diet Low processed diet Daily physical activity at least one hour per day, aim for two hours Year round massage Learn from the best teachers o What do I want to learn? o Who is the best at teaching it? Manage Social Networks and Time Sink Distractions Simplify schedule Read good books Solitude Retreats close to nature

Spirit One week off-line every quarter o Do I need time offline? Key might be time to myself Retreats close to nature +++ Keep Family Financial Planning Updated Fundamental Things to Remember The quickest way to increase disposable income is to reduce personal expenditure. Fastest way to improve my perceived standard of living is to associate with people that have a lower one. Collect experiences not possessions. Simple, healthy, outdoor life with good friends & exciting challenges. Students Come To Me I Travel To Best Teachers If in doubt then WAIT ...the miracle is not to walk on burning charcoal or in the thin air or on the water: The miracle is just to walk on earth. You breathe in. You become aware of the fact that you are alive. You are still alive and you are walking on this beautiful planet... the greatest of all miracles is to be alive. - - Thich Nhat Hanh - -

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Top Ten List - November 2011 1. Be able to walk to world class long course masters, ideally at Stanford University 2. Have my wife brag about our marriage 3. Have my kids tell people their Dad loves them 4. Publish my second book 5. Complete a new high mountain cycling route each year 6. Stay fit enough so I continue to get a mini speedo given to me on my birthday 7. Start my fourth career 8. Maintain freedom of location and occupation 9. Quarterly retreats in nature 10. Touch 1 million people with my writing Top Ten List - Previous 1. Love Monica a. Listen b. Spend Time Together c. Share Experiences 2. Keep Schedule Simple 3. Meet commitments to Jon 4. Limit time spent on activities not on this list a. Social Media b. Watch dead time c. Write Weekly 5. Key Family 6. Retreats with Nature 7. Maintain freedom of time and occupation 8. Wake-Up Early 9. Peaceful Listening 10. Assist Without Ownership Top Ten List March 2000 1. Touch someone with my writing 2. Clean out my computer room (had to have one easy one!) 3. Relax more 4. Sub-10 at an IM 5. Buy a house to have a base 6. Be published in a major magazine or in a forum where a wide audience can read me 7. Get rid of a lot of stuff in my life 8. More love in my life 9. Write entertaining pieces that make people laugh 10. A new career that would give me time to do what I want as well as travel

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Questions To Create Clarity What are my values? Where do my greatest skills lie? What can be achieved when these combine? +++ What is your biggest achievement and why? Personal health and freedom of time & occupation What is your greatest fear in relation to your future and why? Disappointing people who I respect // why? I want to be liked by everyone? What motivates you? Incentives motivate me Being a good man Not letting down my wife What causes you stress? Lack of sleep Change at short notice Fraud Fear of wrong-doing Short on time Injustice Unfinished business If you had unlimited means, what is the one thing that you would do right now that you are not doing today? Spend more time in Cali More quick trips What is the one goal that you would like to achieve in the next year? What about the next 3-5 years? 2011: Write a book that covers my life philosophy Where do you want to be in 5-10 years time, professionally, personally, financially? Cash flow breakeven financially Happy wife personally Fit with access to year round high quality masters and cycling Sought after coach to: Doctors People that are smarter than me Athletes with specialist knowledge for the team Stimulating situations 79

 What are your hobbies or what do you want to buy with your spare money? Exploring -- hobbies Writing hobbies Reading -- hobbies Use money to buy freedom and tranquility Is there a legacy that you would like to leave in your business life? Personal life? Family relationships? Not really Perhaps my writing Healing & Love What are the most important things that you and your family want to achieve in the future? How would you feel if you couldnt achieve them? What are you prepared to give up now to achieve them? Happy wife; fit husband Should be possible to achieve Give up future asset growth How much money is enough? Why? And how do you know? We have enough to achieve our goals

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Virtue Benjamin Franklin sought to cultivate his character by a plan of thirteen virtues, which he developed at age 20 (in 1726) and continued to practice in some form for the rest of his life. His autobiography lists his thirteen virtues as: 1. "TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation." 2. "SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation." 3. "ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time." 4. "RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve." 5. "FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing." 6. "INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions." 7. "SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly." 8. "JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty." 9. "MODERATION. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve." 10. "CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation." 11. "TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable." 12. "CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation." 13. "HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates." +++ Seeking Purpose pulled this off the internet, perhaps Mark Cuban was the source 1. Figure out what you're so passionate about that you'd be happy doing it for 10 years, even if you never made any money from it. That's what you should be doing. 2. Always be true to yourself. 3. Figure out what your values are and live by them, in business and in life. 4. Rather than focus on work-life separation, focus on work-life integration. 5. Don't network. Focus on building real relationships and friendships where the relationship itself is its own reward, instead of trying to get something out of the relationship to benefit your business or yourself.

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6. Remember to maximize for happiness, not money or status. 7. Think about what your definition of success really is. Is it externally driven or internally driven? 8. Get ready for rejection. 9. Success unshared is failure. Give back -- share your wealth. 10. Successful people do all the things unsuccessful people don't want to do. 11. Values and ethics always come first. 12. Don't lie, cheat or steal for one penny or one dollar -- ever. 13. Business with bad people is always bad business. 14. You have to learn that you can walk away from someone that you care about for the greater good. 15. When my management teams come into the room, I hug them, I give them truth and "harsh speak" when they're in, and then I hug them on the way out. 16. The truth is cold and hard, but it's the first point on the path to hope and salvation. 17. Don't do what you do for the money. Whatever path you choose, do it because it makes your heart beat fast. 18. If you do good, good will come back to you. 19. You have to be fundamentally engaged and honest toward yourself. 20. Live your life full throttle. Take risks!

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Family Financial Planning My Expense Headers (December 2012) Long-term care insurance Mortgage Property Taxes or Rent Education/Tuition Childcare House & Car Insurance Annual County Payment - Car Health Insurance, including Deductible iPhone and AT&T Excel / Comcast / Water / Trash Eldorado Water Clothes / Kid Stuff Car Fuel & Maintenance & Leases Dentist Groceries Date Night Subscriptions (Online and Offline) Club Memberships Technology (we expense all software & hardware in year of purchase) Gardening & HVAC Maintenance Monthly Couples Trips Summer Vacation Winter Vacation Massage Taxes Federal, State and City The expenses above flow into a projection that maps out our cash needs five years out. Items that we consider include: Kids College Accounts Asset Sales and Purchases Income/Expenses from Family Assets Assistance To Family Members (financial, time, travel) Changes In Family Situation (income and expenses) From all of the above, Im able to compare my Core Capital against my five-year cash needs as well as assess my buffer for adverse surprises.

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 Possible Section Controlling Our Relationship With Technology Re-write the following If you feel challenged in the areas of anger management, ability to focus or self- esteem, then you might be negatively impacted by the constant bombardment we received from the media. Gradually making the following changes has enabled me to improve my personal productivity and reduce the level of stress I experience in my life. Never read the comments I go further and never enable comments on my sites or writing Never engage a stranger that negatively engages with my work on a site I dont control Avoid public forums that allow anonymous commenting "One strike and your out" on all social media anyone that creates conflict in my head is immediately blocked Constantly whittle down my feeds and sources of inbound information these build up over time and it takes discipline to do De-friend and gmail filter anyone in my life with problems with ethics, anger or mental health. Critics exist to criticize and my role, and goal, for the public side of my life is to help others, not convert the haters. All of those have helped reduce the noise but are more of an avoidance strategy than transcending the issue. That said, they work well and my life is much better having gone through the transition period to make them stick. +++ Knowing that I will never get to the end of email. Desiring to create the space to do good work. Came up with this simple procedure to manage: Default is delete, unsubscribe or text length reply If a thoughtful reply is required then drop into action folder and reply during uninterrupted periods of work File nothing, archive everything Threaded messaging wait when multiple replies expected

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Possible Appendix Building Expert Credentials Towards A Self-Directed Life In the personal planning section, I wrote about getting outside of your normal life to consider the direction you are heading. My annual retreat week is an important time to consider how Im going to spend the up-coming year. When I look at the things that are most important to me (freedom, fitness, health, nature, love), these items do not cost much to experience. It did, however, require years of reflection to tailor my life around these five keys. The opportunity to build personal capital is valuable. However, when I look back to my early career in finance, what was even more valuable was: Being surrounded by a group of highly intelligent people that enhanced my desire to work The acquisition of a wide range of skills and the opportunity to apply these skills in a range of situations Instruction (by example) of the level of commitment, effort, perseverance required to achieve challenging goals When I look for people to associate with, I ask myself, "Does this person have a track record of achievement backed by work ethic and strong personal values?" Spending time focused on the creation of that sort of person (within yourself) is time very well spent. To learn more about an area where you want to improve, work on creating the appearance of knowing. This isnt superficial. Specifically, study and associate with the absolute best experts you can access. While doing this focus on building your expert credentials, as perceived by your target market. Give some examples of target market? Can be personal example, etc Share your knowledge freely as it has little value if hoarded. The market will let you know if your experience has value and relevance. This seems like it is more than appearance of knowing its like the appearance of knowing as well as creating the right knowledge-base and network to be successful in the area you want to improve? Sharing your experiences, also improves your communication skills. Effective communication is important in all fields and we each have mediums where we are superior than others and can help improve the lives of others through sharing out skills? Within your expert credentials, four things to consider: Explain these bullets a little more with examples? I understand what you mean here, but you might want to dig a little deeper and explain more about why marketing yourself and putting yourself in the right peer group will help you achieve the above life path and goals you set out for yourself? 85

 Image: Present yourself the way you wish to be seen by your target market. Be aware that most people will quickly see through a lack of authenticity. Remember that what takes decades to build can be pulled down very quickly. Respond slowly, and thoughtfully, in environments you don't control (such as other people's internet forums). Within my own life, I have found it much easier to eliminate choices that don't fit my desired image than create something that doesn't exist. If you chip away at the items that don't fit then you will find that, over time, you end up with a "self" that is in pretty good shape. Peers: Put yourself in the right peer group, learn to enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done and gain control over the little things that are inconsistent with the person you want to become. Perception: There can be a disconnect between the way we see ourselves, and the way others see us. From a business point of view, understanding how others see us is very useful. What aspects of your story resonate with your target client base? What special, or interesting, knowledge do you have to share? Sharing genuine experiences is probably the most popular form of soft-marketing you can do. All of us love to hear interesting stories. Explain a little more on soft marketing and why its important. Are you talking about people starting a business here or working on themselves personally? Or both? Using business terms like target market and soft marketing confuses the two a bit unless you introduce this section with something about business/personal and how they interchange. Knowledge: Do you know what you don't know? Do you know what you need to know? Do you have multiple approaches available to help your clients? At the beginning of our careers we know so little. Start by figuring out how different approaches work, and don't work, for you. Work with the best people you have access to and consider formal instruction in the fundamentals of your goal. Solidify your knowledge by sharing and teaching. Most of us get into trouble when we stray into areas where our knowledge is limited. Even as you achieve expert status resist the urge to opine/preach? on all range of subjects. Focus on sharing experience in the areas where you have specific, and relevant knowledge. Build your network so you will have the ability to bring in support when clients ask questions outside of your core competency. Remember that the ability to ask for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. One needs to be self-confident to admit one's limitations. If you put yourself "out there" then there will be people waiting to sling arrows, or anonymous comments, at you. By sticking to what you know, it will make it easier to handle it when people seek to bring you down. Remember that critics exist to criticize; they have little interest in helping us. 86

 While you are building your skills, be aware of the impact of cognitive bias. One of the reasons that I study under different teachers is to keep my "toolbox" filled with more than one approach for each problem.

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Ideas for additional sections Time Value of Money Series Impact of spending Small savings getting large Inflation Financial independence Community, volunteering, giving back, philanthropy Emotional Situations Respect another persons right to learn from failure Acknowledge a limited ability to resolve, or even see, the underlying cause of suffering Consider the source of the suffering Given all of the above, consider where my emotional energy will generate the highest return The family as business Human Capital Phases Of Our Role in Family Adding Value In These Phases (educate, self-reliant, guide family, serve family mission, be elder) Consider splitting Financial Health from Your Work Life create part 4 and 5 lead with creating work life then discuss what to do with your money keeps the overall flow across a lifetime Work How we learn How we perform Finding your niche Cost of status quo is hidden Work Value of teams Value of diversity Tips for negotiation Role of education and networks Role of superior peers Use of Index funds with quarterly rebalancing for a simple investment strategy

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Finance Examples in an appendix? Expand to include tips from others on making changes & taking sabbaticals? Planning & Creating Change Personal Self Health Others Relationships Toxic People Letting Go Marriage Kids Roots Business / Finance Summary Insert Reason-Respecting Language: Who What Where When Why

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