Assignment One Reflection

Andrew Lay

Throughout my work on this assignment, my individual strengths and weaknesses in the writing process became more and more evident as I attempted to revise the draft. My strengths shone through as I realized that the level of detail I had provided was more than sufficient for the understanding of the reader. Examples of this strength can be found specifically in my observations, such as the description of the interaction during the interval of time between 3:18 PM and 3:29 PM in my third observation. Additionally, I feel that my summary of intention, rules and conventions for appropriate behavior for the Crown Commons was nearly spot-on, as I systematically delineated my exact purpose with appropriate mention of the peripheral aspects of observation, such as detailing interactions between discourse communities to the higher purpose of tying together the figured world for the interpretation of the reader. My weaknesses in writing this assignment became very clear to me as I reviewed the preliminary draft. To be honest, I feel that the individual sections in my work were very hit-ormiss. For example, while I feel confident in the quality of my actors section, I feel that I still did not achieve appropriate balance both in quantity and quality between the concrete and abstract artifacts present in the Commons even after revision. Looking at my writing style, I also feel that I often use far too many words to describe an event or location. Examples of this can be found throughout the work, but specifically in the set-up portions of each observation and specifically in observation one. In terms of the peer feedback I received, I felt that most of the commentary was useful and could be incorporated in some manner in my work. I found that all commentary regarding clarification was of utmost importance to me, as I had initially written some very long and sometimes awkward phrases that confused me I cant imagine what it would have done to another readers understanding. As a matter of fact, the only commentary that was not of direct use to me usually sang to the tune of just add more detail. A prime example of this type of commentary is as follows: DS: This entire section could use more detail. Each of these categories interact with one another added detail in this context would help the reader better understand the purpose of this section. Looking back, most of the commentary had nothing much to do with content, as it was all there it just needed to be tweaked properly so as to allow the paper to flow more naturally. Of all of the aspects of the paper, I would ask for the teacher to pay special attention to the dual structure of events juxtaposed with ideas I employed in describing the figured world of the Crown Commons. Specifically, my frequent segues from real-time description to active interpretation of the events transpiring continuously build the overall conveyance of the atmosphere, and in my mind, keep the balance of content and flow of the paper near an optimal level.