MORE INFO Rebecca Armendariz is online editor of the Washington Blade and can be reached at rarmendariz@washblade.com.

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Losing the love of my life There is nothing more painful than the death of a partner except being denied hospital visitation HOME > VIEWPOINT > OPINION Jul 10, 2009 | By: Rebecca Armendariz |COMMENTS

MY PARTNER, CLARK Sabine, died June 16 at a hospice in Arlington, Va., after a 16-month battle with melanoma. He was 33. Though I hope to never have to go through anything so painful again in my lifetime, I realize that our entire experience, which included three surgeries and enrollment in two clinical trials, would have been exponentially more difficult if we were a same-sex couple. Currently there are two separate lawsuits playing out in Washington and Florida involving doctors, nurses and hospital personnel who prevented partners of two dying women from seeing their loved ones before they died. No one ever questioned my validity as Clarks partner, though we were not married, at any of our numerous hospital visits. I signed papers for him. Doctors called my cell phone instead of his to deliver news about his case. I only left him alone once, when he was in a D.C. intensive care unit, because there were no overnight accommodations. Clark never signed any advance directives or living wills designating me as his point person. And while I know that certain people we dealt with over the course of his treatment would let any loved one regardless of sexual orientation stay alongside a partner, I cant say for sure that everyone would have. I CANT IMAGINE what it was like for Janice Langbehn of Lacey, Wash., when her partner collapsed from an aneurysm during a Florida vacation. Hospital officials gave Langbehn and the couples three children only five minutes with Lisa Pond, her partner of 18 years, as last rites were administered before she died. Sharon Reed, another Washington resident, was denied access to her partner of 17 years, Jo Ann Ritchie, before she died of liver failure, because of a night nurses prerogative. In both those cases, the couples were prepared with living wills, advance directives and power-of-attorney documents. Lambda Legal has taken on Langbehn v. Jackson Memorial Hospital, and while attorney Beth Littrell said she recommends same-sex couples have medical-related paperwork in order, it didnt make a difference in this case.

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The case highlights two things, according to Littrell: First, that there need to be laws that address visitation issues in hospitals for people who are unmarried. The relationships should be recognized and hospitals should be held liable, which will be the case if Lambda Legal prevails. Second, the case highlights the uncertainty that unmarried couples face because their relationships are not recognized by the state. When the law treats them as strangers, it allows people to treat them as strangers, Littrell said. IF LAMBDA LEGAL prevails in the case, then legal precedents will be created for rights to visitation.

Some are arguing that the hospitals involved may not have been discriminating against gay couples, but limiting visitation based on the patients condition or general hospital rules. Deborah Kotz of U.S. News and World Report says that hospitals have been known to limit visitation for non-married partners in heterosexual relationships in the past. But I never experienced anything so limiting in hospitals in D.C., Maryland or Virginia. Clarks diagnosis was a shock to his family and me. I encourage all same-sex couples to get their legal documents in order, including hospital visitation authorization, just in case. I also implore hospital staff everywhere to treat all

couples the way Clark and I were treated until legal precedents can be established. There is nothing more painful than losing the love of your life unless youre denied access to them beforehand.

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J.L. Stafford, Va

Rebecca, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are doing well and getting the help you need to deal with this. I lost my same-sex partner of 31 years last September due to a sudden heart attack. Grief counseling has been one of the best things I have ever done. It saved my sanity. I hope you are getting some. You are in my thoughts. Posted 7/10/09 - 1:42 PM

kcs2moms Riverside, Ca

Rebecca, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are doing well and getting the help you need to deal with this. I lost my same-sex partner of 31 years last September due to a sudden heart attack. Grief counseling has been one of the best things I have ever done. It saved my sanity. I hope you are getting some. You are in my thoughts. Posted 7/10/09 - 9:35 PM

The Latest: $50,000 Prop 8 donor chairs large Md. company Foulger-Pratt developing hotel for pro-gay Kimpton By REBECCA ARMENDARIZ, Washington Blade Nov 17 2008, 3:32 PM | | |

The chairman of a family-owned property development, management and construction company based in Rockville, Md., donated $50,000 to support Proposition 8 days before it passed, according to public records. Sid Foulger, a Mormon, established Foulger-Pratt in 1963, according to the company's web site. His sons and son-in-law have since taken leadership positions in the business; they did not make Prop 8 contributions. The company is divided into four operating units: Foulger-Pratt Contracting, LLC, Foulger-Pratt Development, Inc., Foulger-Pratt Management, Inc. and Pioneer Building Services. Sid Foulger does not directly manage any of the branches, but acts as the chairman. His office did not return calls seeking comment on the Prop 8 donation. Among Foulger-Pratt's completed projects is the Mormon temple in Kensington, Md. The contracting portion of the company is in charge of a large Silver Spring, Md., transit center, and the development company has projects in the works at the University of Maryland and with Kimpton Hotels. San Francisco-based Kimpton has earned a 100 percent score on the Human Rights Campaign's Corporate Equality Index and has a strong gay-friendly reputation. Foulger-Pratt has signed a letter of intent with the hotel chain to build a four-star hotel in Park Potomac, an "urban village" in Potomac, Md., for completion in 2011. Alan Baer, senior vice president of people and culture for the Kimpton Hotel Group, confirmed plans for the project but said it hasn't broken ground yet. "From a business perspective, you don't sit around the board room table and discuss your religious or social preferences, said Baer, who is gay. If we go into a room where it's publicly known that the company's beliefs are [anti-LGBT], then we would certainly question whether we want to do business with them." Baer emphasized that Sid Foulger's donation to support Proposition 8 was a personal contribution and not a corporate one. "When we talk about diversity and inclusion, it's not just about ethnic or religious background or sexual orientation. It's more fundamentally about diversity of thought. The worst thing I could think of would be a board room full of people with my exact background and my exact beliefs," he said. Baer said he is not concerned that working with Foulger-Pratt would tarnish his company's progay image. "I don't know what part of the decision Sid Foulger had in hiring us, he said. Their organization hired Kimpton to run and operate the hotel that they're developing. They hired us knowing who we are and how we operate our hotels. People can support what they want, but we're not going to operate our business any differently." Kimpton Hotels has a campaign in place to raise funds for HIV/AIDS research. The D.C. beneficiary of the company's Red Ribbon Campaign is the Whitman-Walker Clinic. Transgender activist Dana Beyer, who works for at-large Montgomery County Council member Duchy Trachtenberg, said that focusing on Foulger's donation is counter-productive.

"Sid Foulger isn't a player in the business anymore. The name is out there, but he himself made a personal contribution. He's an 87-year-old guy," she said. But Dan Furmansky, executive director of Equality Maryland, said the donation raises some serious questions. "Across the country, there are jurisdictions that have established laws to ensure that the contractors a city or county does business with adhere to equality practices. Citizens of Montgomery County need to hold our elected officials accountable for doing business with a company whose chairman and CEO has contributed to the devastation of thousands of families," he said. The Mormon church aggressively supported Prop 8, which bans same-sex marriage in California and puts about 18,000 such marriages already performed in legal limbo. Reaction to Prop 8s passage has included protests at Mormon churches and boycott threats targeting companies that donated to the effort. Local activists have not yet called for a Foulger-Pratt boycott. Permalink

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Eddie89 Phoenix, Az

Plus, $50,000 is no chump change. At least not to me! How many deceitful yes on 8 ads did that money buy? Posted 11/18/08 - 10:30 AM

Eddie89 Phoenix, Az

If you or your business is anti-equality and pro-discrimination, 0 then you don't get my money. Simple as that. There is no shortage of other companies whose chairman and CEO did not contribute to Prop. 8, yes or no. They chose to stay out of it entirely and just run their business. Or better yet, those that contributed to NO on 8 and they should be rewarded for their stand for equality. I.E. Levis, AT&T, PG&E, etc. Posted 11/18/08 - 10:28 AM

stephenclark Washington, DC

If the worst thing that Alan Baer can imagine is sitting around a table at which everyone acknowledges the basic civil rights of gays and lesbians, he needs to get out more. Posted 11/17/08 - 7:46 PM

ErikDC Bowie, Md

Boycott them. They want to be prejudiced against us? They need to discover our dollars can be prejudiced, too. Posted 11/17/08 - 4:57 PM

Attack victim cautions intl travelers Gay man assaulted in Ecuador after bar visit By REBECCA ARMENDARIZ, Washington Blade | Rebecca Armendariz | Aug 14, 9:57 AM As a frequent traveler to South America, Jeff Sunner was accustomed to breathtaking scenery and friendly locals. But when the 39-year-old Phoenix man and his boyfriend vacationed in Ecuador last month, they had a very different experience. Sunner said the couple had gone to eat and drink at a gay bar July 20 before he decided to continue on alone and asked a security guard for directions to another bar. Although there are multiple gay bars in the touristy area of Quito where the couple stayed, the establishments are not well advertised. And while policemen line the streets of Ecuador, Sunner said its very hard to distinguish who has what authority. Sunner said the directions he received were incorrect, so he turned around, when three men approached him. "It happened 20 feet from the guard I asked for directions," he said. Sunner said the men choked him, cutting off his air supply and making him fade in and out of consciousness. Sunner noted that as he lost control of his bowels, the men tried to steal his clothing and repeatedly called him "maricon," an anti-gay epithet. The security guard Sunner encountered earlier watched and laughed, he said, until the attack stopped and the men left. Sunner said he eventually found another security guard and was told that all guards have assigned jurisdictions and aren't obligated to help people outside of their own areas. The police wouldn't file a report, Sunner said, and told him that laws say bruises or marks have to last for three days or longer before a person can file charges. The only formal recognition of the attack came from a regional newspaper, ltimas Noticias, which printed an interview with Sunner along with its report of the assault. Sunner, who said the men attacked him because he is gay, is now advising other gay travelers to avoid Ecuador. "In a machismo society like that, he said, you're not going to laugh at another man being beat up right by you. The U.S. State Department, which details the dangers that Americans can face when traveling to foreign

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countries, notes the district where Sunner was attacked is dangerous, but makes no mention of bias crimes. Sunner said he received an apology from Efran Soria, a program coordinator at Fundacion Ecuatoriana Equidad, an Ecuadorian gay rights organization. In an e-mail to Sunner, Soria asked him not to judge the entire country by this one incident. Homosexuality has been legal in Ecuador since 1997, but there is no legal recognition of same-sex couples. Ecuador has anti-discrimination laws that include sexual orientation, according to the International Lesbian & Gay Association. Rafael Correa, the countrys left-wing president, has proposed a new constitution for the country that would recognize same-sex couples and bestow basic rights, said Andrs Duque, an activist and blogger who focuses on gay rights in Latin America. Duque said that although the government has worked toward increased acceptance of gays and lesbians, the countrys people dont always reflect those efforts. "Not that [the attack on Sunner] is excusable, Duque said, but I think that sometimes, culturally, you can't translate the experience of living in the U.S. as openly gay to visiting a country that is just recently dealing with openness in terms of LGBT issues and expect it to be the same.

 D.C. vigil held for slain Calif. teen Media coverage of killing disappoints some activists HOME > NEWS > LOCAL Feb 29, 2008 | By: REBECCA ARMENDARIZ |COMMENTS

Gays in Washington gathered in Dupont Circle Monday night to hold a candlelight vigil for the late Lawrence King, the gay California teen who was shot in the head on Feb. 12. Brandon McInerney, 14, has been charged in the case. King had begun wearing makeup and jewelry to his Oxnard, Calif., school, according to Los Angeles media reports. Though police are still investigating the hate crime angle, many in the gay community have been reminded of the death of Matthew Shepard who was murdered in an anti-gay hate crime in 1998 in Wyoming. Some gay bloggers, activists and organizations have expressed dissatisfaction with the medias coverage of the King case. The only major newspaper to pick up the story immediately was the Los Angeles Times, and, as activist and blogger Sara Whitman laments, It was a local piece.

Most critics of the media coverage express disappointment with the lack of immediate reporting after the murder (the Blade ran an Associated Press brief about the incident in its Feb. 22 edition but had run lengthier accounts of the incident on its web site earlier). The New York Times ran a story on Feb. 23. Presidential hopefuls Sens. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama issued statements on Feb. 22 and 23, respectively. Mainstream media coverage was limited prior to the Times story; only local coverage and Associated Press blurbs preceded the story, titled Boys killing, labeled a hate crime, stuns a town, and the candidates statements, both expressing strong support for a federal hate crimes law. While gay activists welcomed the statements and the Times story, some said that the coverage of the killing has been lacking. I dont know why its been downplayed, lesbian blogger Whitman said. Ironically I kind of hope that it was ignored because were used to it now. It would be sad if it was ignored because it was just this gay kid. Whitman wrote a piece for the Huffington Post on Feb. 18 expressing her anger, titled Just one more dead faggot. In my LGBT community, we argue about who is more pro-LGBT rights, Obama or Clinton, she wrote. Its been days since Lawrence King was shot dead. Neither candidate has issued a statement or said a word. The national media has done a complete pass on the story. Both candidates make me sick. Daryl Presgraves, a media relations manager for the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN), said his organization is pleased with the gay press coverage of the King murder. The mainstream media coverage, however, hasnt caused enough of an outcry, he said. This is obviously a tragic event, but anti-LGBT bullying and harassment are things that happen every day, in every school. And this is an opportunity for us to finally start having a conversation about how we can address this, he said. Presgraves, Whitman and Cindi Creager, director of national news for the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), all agree that the shootings and subsequent deaths of six people at Northern Illinois University on Feb. 14 may have distracted the media from covering the Oxnard shooting in greater depth. The shooting in Northern Illinois obviously sort of distracted the media, if you will because there was more tragedy, if such a thing was possible, that was where they focused their attention, Presgraves said. Hopefully this is an opportunity for media to do longer trend pieces about whats happening in schools. Hopefully theyre actually wondering how to write about it and cover it. Theres been a lack of understanding about what really happened here, and the media can play a role in helping spread awareness, he said. Creager expressed gratitude upon seeing the Times article on Saturday and commended the Los Angeles Times for its in-depth coverage of the killing. GLAAD is continuing to urge the media to shine a spotlight on bullying based on sexual orientation or perceived or gender identity, Creager said. The Oxnard story still deserves continued follow-up and we need to continue to bring that case up when were speaking about hate crimes and bullying. CNN aired segments on Monday that gave viewers the facts of the case and showed footage from Kings hometown vigil.

The Latest: Focus on the Family drops 'ex-gay' program $6 million budget shortfall triggers move By REBECCA ARMENDARIZ, Washington Blade Aug 11 2009, 3:31 PM | | |

Facing a $6 million budget shortfall, Focus on the Family is shifting control of its Love Won Out conference to an outside organization. Exodus International, a group that claims people can overcome unwanted same-sex attractions with the help of its ministry, announced Tuesday it will take control of the program starting in November. Exodus is the ideal organization to transition Love Won Out to, said Melissa Fryrear, director of Love Won Out. She noted that Focus on the Family and Exodus have been closely aligned for years. That move comes at this time in part, Fryrear said, because Focus on the Familys income is down $6 million from what was expected for this year. The shortfall was recently cited in an e-mail appeal to donors. Alan Chambers, director of Exodus, said his group is financially equipped to take over Love Won Out, but the move was in the making for years. Focus on the Family planned to provide financial support by providing speakers and marketing assistance. Wayne Besen, a gay activist whose organization, Truth Wins Out, decries so-called ex-gay therapy, said he was not surprised at the development. He noted that Exodus has acted as an unofficial subsidiary of Focus on the Family for years. Focus on the Family claims that they are facing a $6 million shortfall, he said. If they can eliminate a few positions due to this change, it will benefit their bottom line. This is especially true, because we suspect that Love Won Out is slowly losing support as gay people gain more acceptance each year. The crowds appear smaller and the road show has received less media coverage than it has in the past.

If they are downsizing, it is because the market for such misinformation has continued to shrink. But Chambers said Love Won Out was coming to Exodus in part so it could be operated by a more narrowly focused organization. [Focus on the Family] deals a lot with education issues and policy issues from a legislative perspective and the whole gay rights movement, he said. Thats not a focus of Exodus. We really want Love Won Out to reflect the ministry aspect of all this and just do that primarily. Plans for Love Won Outs future were announced shortly after the American Psychological Association released a study saying there was insufficient evidence to suggest that efforts aimed at changing sexual orientation are effective. The study also addressed the conflict that sometimes exists between a persons sexual orientation and religious beliefs. The study said that licensed mental health providers treating such clients recommend that they explore possible life paths that address the reality of their sexual orientation, reduce the stigma associated with homosexuality, respect the clients religious beliefs, and consider possibilities for a religiously and spiritually meaningful and rewarding life, according to an APA press release. Chambers said the study had some positives and some negatives, but he was happy that theyve even recognized that this is an issue for people of faith, and that they are willing to even

speak to that. Not everybody deals with homosexuality in the same way, he said. People like me have experienced real and significant change. The last Love Won Out conference run by Focus on the Family will be held in Birmingham, Ala., on Nov. 7.

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Rick Sours

In my opinion, sexual orientation is genetic. It is not something that can be changed. Posted 8/14/09 - 8:09 AM

mykelb

Guess the program wasn't lucrative enough or they were afraid of being brought up on legal charges of practicing medicine without a license. Posted 8/12/09 - 2:12 PM

 Gay activists try their hand at blogging Late to the trend, groups seek unfiltered access to supporters HOME > NEWS > NATIONAL NEWS Jul 06, 2007 REBECCA ARMENDARIZ|COMMENTS

The nations leading gay rights activist groups are beginning to embrace blogging as a means of disseminating their messages in an unfiltered way. So far, their online efforts are garnering mixed reviews. The Human Rights Campaign launched its blog, HRC Back Story, just last month. HRC can weigh in and comment on news that we might not necessarily issue a press release on but is just as important, blogger Chris Johnson said. HRC joins several other prominent gay groups in the blogosphere, including Immigration Equality, the Victory Fund, the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force and the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network. HRCbackstory.org offers the organizations real-time perspective on gay-related news. Instead of waiting for HRC to issue a press release, Johnson can offer a quick summary of the organizations stance on an issue.

Pam Spaulding, who operates the popular Pams House Blend site, says these organizations are slow to realize the power of blogging. That they know they need to [start blogs] may have something to do with controlling messaging, she said. Its hard to do that when you have free agents out there shaping opinion and stirring the pot. One of those pot-stirrers is Mike Rogers, the gay blogger behind blogACTIVE.com, a site known for outing anti-gay politicians. Rogers said the HRC blog is a good thing. HRC Back Story links to things outside and puts information out there in a really positive way, Rogers said. Then, of course, theyre moving their message. Rogers said that HRC is getting news out as quickly as it can by taking advantage of the mediums immediate delivery. They really want this information out there, Rogers said. But not all bloggers have been so kind to HRC. Earlier this year, commentator Andrew Sullivan, activist Michael Petrelis and former Washington Blade editor Chris Crain slammed HRC on its blogs over a range of issues, including failing to secure passage of federal gay rights legislation and inflating membership numbers. HRCs response to the criticism only exacerbated the situation. Johnson said HRCs new blog will enable the organization to have a more immediate voice in such online debates. We really kind of looked at the blog as a way for us to weigh in on some of the conversations that people were having about issues that affect the GLBT community, Johnson said. HRC Back Storys design is clean and simple. The blog posts run down the center of the main page and are organized into categories, such as coming out and military. Johnson has been at HRC for six months and was hired as its director of public affairs and interactive communications. He was brought on board, he said, to oversee outreach to grassroots sources and to form relationships with gay political bloggers. Engaging bloggers like Rogers with tailored messaging instead of press releases is one of Johnsons duties. When an organization like HRC launches a blog, there are certain things to be mindful of, Johnson said. Were involved with pending legislation and things happening in state houses, he said. You encounter a greater amount of risks that comes from constantly putting information out there with a blog. Another advantage of having a blog, Johnson said, is the ability to tell about another side of the organization that people may not immediately know about. Spaulding says gay organizations blogs are going to play a different role than the citizen activist sites. For obvious reasons, they arent going to be candid or inflammatory, she said. The organizations will be held accountable for everything written on the blogs, while independent voices who arent blogging under the banner of a big name have more freedom to state provocative opinions. One of the advantages that these blogs have is more access, Spaulding said. Also, people are being paid to do them. Rogers has joined Spaulding and about 25 other gay political activist bloggers to form gaypoliticsblogads.com, a site that encourages partnerships between organizations and bloggers. When an organization launches an issue-oriented campaign, the gay politics blog ads community will be sent a notification from Rogers in case they want to blog about the topic at hand. Building this network to work closely with organizations helps bring blogs closer to them by helping to promote information, he said. Rogers said that a regular reader will then, instead of seeing an ad or a press release, see a blog post in conjunction with an ad.

 Life and Times of Bob Mould Gay singer playing Birchmere same day new record drops HOME > ENTERTAINMENT > MUSIC Apr 03, 2009 | By: Rebecca Armendariz |COMMENTS

Bob Moulds 2009 is of anniversaries. Its been 30 years since he and his former Hsker D bandmates began playing together and 20 since the release of his inaugural solo album, Workbook. Mould, whos openly gay, revisits the lyrics-first songwriting technique he developed for Workbook on his latest release, The Life and Times, which drops Tuesday, the same day hell play the Birchmere. He describes the method as improvising music on top of the randomness of the words. Despite the hint of a personal history in the title of his ninth record and its arrival during this commemorative period, The Life and Times isnt an autobiography. The title track was just the first song he wrote. And while he says all his records are based partly on both his own experience and observation, Moulds saving the real gossip for an autobiography, which hes penning with author Michael Azerrad, who wrote Our Band Could Be Your Life: Scenes from the American Indie Underground 1981-1991, an essential history of punk that came out in 2001 and featured a chapter on Hsker D. Moulds life story is due out next year, when hell turn 50. He promises the book will tell his coming out story and also deal with relationship and family topics. I dont normally look back on much of anything, so doing it once has been sort of mind crushing, he says of the writing process in an interview with the Blade. Most of the handcuffs are coming off. Juggling the book writing, his music career and Blowoff, the monthly bear dance party that has grown from filling the basement of the 9:30 Club to packing its main floor, has taken its toll. This year is going to be one to remember. If I can make it to Christmas, Ill be thrilled. When the dust settles, it will be amazing, but right now its really a lot to contend with, he says. Blowoff, which Mould co-DJs at the 9:30 Club with Richard Morel, has grown past its creators expectations. Mould sees it as the center of D.C.s 30-plus gay community. Mould and Morel will also bring Blowoff on tour this year to New York City, San Francisco, Chicago and Atlanta. The gay and punk rock sides of Mould were, for a large portion of his career, separated. But over time, Mould said his alternative rock and dance DJ ventures have begun to overlap. I always thought Hsker D and Blowoff were worlds apart, he says. But 25 years later, a lot of those folks who were around for the band come out for Blowoff. As for D.C., his adopted hometown, Mould says hes pleased with the direction the gay music scene is taking. Even with his crammed schedule, Mould says he still tries to find time to go out. The bears have moved to Cobalt on Fridays since Titan closed, he said, and sometimes hell go to the Eagle. But Im pretty much a homebody these days. I like being at home just working and putzing around the house. But Moulds stay-at-home tendencies didnt deter his publisher, Little, Brown and Company, from describing him as a punk hero in the announcement of his forthcoming book. I just appreciate the fact that Ive still got the best job in the world, and I still get to make music, and Ive learned to just accept the things that people say, because life is too short to try to convince everybody otherwise, he says in response to his new title. Punk hero is great.

 One of the clueless Katy Perry proves that talent doesnt make up for vapid and offensive lyrics HOME > ENTERTAINMENT > MUSIC Jun 20, 2008 | By: REBECCA ARMENDARIZ |COMMENTS

Katy Perry, a sort of teeny-bopper, Avril Lavigne-infused Lily Allen look-a-like, makes her debut with One of the Boys, a 23-year-olds attempt at sounding like a badass, edgy teenager. However, she only manages to showcase her immaturity. Her appeal is obvious Perry has zeroed in on a look that all kinds will find sexy. The pale skin, dark hair, red lips and vintage high-waisted trousers mirror the style of a clothed Dita Von Teese. But like her style, the album pushes too many calculated boundaries, coming off manufactured and unoriginal.

The title track starts things off with a typical, inoffensive and catchy radio rock beat. Her voice, a sweet combination of Gwen Stefani and a watered-down Alanis Morrisette, helps to mask the offensive and downright stupid lyrics. The whole conceit of the song is that Perry doesnt want to be seen as one of the boys. She wants whomever shes pining after to see her as a pretty lady. In conveying that sentiment, however, she manages to use the worst stereotypes imaginable in characterizing both sexes. I saw a spider / I didnt scream / Cos I can belch the alphabet / Just double dog dare me / And I chose guitar over ballet, she sings. After seeing how classically beautiful she is and realizing her age, its tough to decipher whether shes serious or exaggerating. But if its the latter, and its coming across so muddled, then whats the point? Then she heads into I Kissed a Girl (no, not a Jill Sobule cover), where Perry narrates her adventures in bi-curiousity. She blames her drunken state for the smooch, but says she liked it. The song itself actually has a pleasing, pounding and heavy drum and synth beat, and her declaration on the chorus sounds powerful and tough. But what does she mean with these lyrics? No, I dont even know your name / It doesnt matter / Youre my experimental game / Just human nature / Its not what good girls do / Not how they should behave. Perrys juvenility again helps her to make lesbians seem naughty and she degrades her kissing partner as a nobody. GAY MENTIONS emerge again in her first single, Ur So Gay, a song that delivers no enjoyment, only confusion as to how anyone could be so shortsighted about its connotative meaning. Perry sings to an ex-boyfriend, insulting him with cultural references to his H&M scarf and his addiction to MySpace. The chorus then hits: Youre so gay / And you dont even like boys. What does that even mean? Ur So Gay was mainly written for a couple of different reasons mainly because I got dumped, and it was a nice outlet, a way to be like, OK, you wanna play? she told the Associated Press in March. During the same interview Perry told the AP that everybody gets the joke and all [her] gay friends know what its about, too. Do they? Perry will be embarking on the Vans Warped Tour this summer, a traveling festival thats home to many pop-punk bands that appeal to young teenagers. What do they think when they hear Ur So Gay, an insult that pervades middle and high schools even today and is just a stepping stone to other acts of intolerance? Perry strings words into trite nuggets for the rest of the album. On Mannequin she laments her emotionless boyfriend: But youre not a man / Youre just a mannequin / I wish you could feel / That my love is real. The banality is thicker than her makeup. To tally: Her voice, good. Around half of the songs melodies and instrumentation, good. Her lyrics and the reasoning behind them: inexcusable.

The Latest: Tastee Diner target of 'kiss-in' protest 2 women asked to leave after public embrace By REBECCA ARMENDARIZ, Washington Blade Aug 19 2009, 9:27 AM | | |

Aiyi'nah Ford said she and her partner Torian Brown were asked to leave Tastee Diner in Silver Spring after they embraced. A manager there allegedly told the couple the restaurant is a family establishment and that people are trying to eat. (Photo courtesy of Ford)

Two women who say they were asked to leave a Silver Spring restaurant after embracing at the counter will return to the establishment in protest Wednesday evening. Aiyi'nah Ford said she and her partner Torian Brown finished their meal at the Tastee Diner, which is part of a chain of three area restaurants. Ford said that after she and Brown finished eating and paid, they waited at the counter to give their waitress her tip, and embraced. Ford said a manager she identified only by the first name Paul, asked if they could "please take that outside." Ford asked Paul if he was serious, and he said that he was. Ford noted that a heterosexual couple was kissing at a nearby booth. "He proceeded to say that this was a family establishment and that people are trying to eat, as though our embrace would make someone sick," Ford said. She said the waitress followed the women outside after she received her tip and apologized, adding that the incident was embarrassing and that similar incidents have happened before. "That was the icing on the cake," Ford said.

Now, Ford, Brown, and close to 80 of their friends have pledged to visit the Tastee Diner Wednesday for a "kiss-in" type protest. Brown sent an e-mail to the diner recounting the incident and asking for an apology, she said. "This was my first time dining at Tastee Diner and I was deeply hurt and saddened by this discrimination. I will be boycotting your establishment and will inform others to do the same. I would like a written statement explaining your restaurant's position on this matter and what you will do about my complaint," part of her e-mail read. The diner's response came from John Littleton, general manager for Tastee Diner, Inc. "I was sorry to hear your complaint about your visit the other night. Our manager said he did not mean to offend anyone. Your business is always welcome here. Please feel free to come and talk to myself personally in the AM or come see Paul himself at night (the manager involved) and I'm sure you will see no disrespect was meant," Littleton's response read. Ford said she replied to the e-mail, asking, "Am I right in assuming that you promote what took place, and that it is OK?" She has yet to receive a response from Littleton. Ford has taken her fight to the airwaves on her radio show, LISTEN-Up!, which is on Blog Talk Radio. Her fellow DJ, Jay Morrow, said the protest will involve a group of patrons sitting in the restaurant while showing affection. Morrow said they will eat, pay for their food, and embrace by the counter. Outside, the group will congregate "long enough so that it's not called loitering," and Ford and Morrow will speak to the crowd. Ford also has a meeting with the Maryland Commission on Human Relations next Thursday. "This happened to us for a reason. I'm a firm believer in that," said Ford. "Because I wanted to go to IHOP in the first place."