Assalamualaikum and a very good morning Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to introduce myself.

My name is... I am student, at the Open University and I belong to Faculty of Business & Management. Now let me talk about my interests. First of all, I like listening to classical music and I listen to music almost every evening. I also like politics. I grew up in a small village located in the western part of Malaysia. My village is famous for its traditional games of Tibau. Before I conclude my self-introduction, let me tell you about my personality. I am a very friendly person, so Im very easy to talk to. I hope to make many friends at this university.

Ladies and gentlemen,

In her book The Shyness Solution: Easy Instruction for Overcoming Shyness and Social Anxiety, Catherine Gillet listed a survey consist of 30 questions for the readers to personally rate their own degree of shyness, or shyness quotient as she puts it. The method is simple

enough , but throughout the book, readers might find out that shyness is a special problem that requires special way to treat it. Which lead to my topic of the day ladies and gentlemen. Overcoming Shyness.

What is diffident? Dr. M.Vanaja, Ms.N.Sneha Latha and Dr. Digurmarti Bhaskar Rao wrote in their book Student Shyness diffident or most commonly known as shyness as a feeling of discomfort or inhibition in social or interpersonal situations that keeps you from pursuing your goals, either academic or personal. Bashfulness results in extreme self-focus and anxiety, often preoccupation with ones thought, feelings or physical reactions. The degree to which shyness can create problems for people varies widely, from mild social awkwardness to debilitating social phobia. However, the most common is situational shyness. Situational shyness refers to the phenomenon of becoming fearful or inhibited in certain situations.

1) VISUALIZATION The first step is visualization. There are opportunities for interpersonal relationships everywhere you look and you can find many ways to help other shy people. You will discover that the best way to pull yourself out of the trap of shyness is to help someone else with the same problem. Helping others will help you too. What would be the appropriate actions you should take? Picture yourself saying and doing all the right things, interacting and feeling comfortable about it. Visualize yourself shaking hands with the stranger at the party and introducing yourself. Someone asks what you do for a living and you answer briefly, succinctly, then turn the question back to them. Most people love to talk about themselves; you just have to give them chance to open up. Now imagine how it would go if you were no longer fearful about interacting with others. If you can see yourself doing it comfortably, feeling good about it, you can accomplish it. With the right visualization and preparation, you can handle what would have been an anxiety-provoking scenario

2) PRACTICE SOCIAL SKILLS After visualization, the second for overcoming shyness is putting the theoretical approach in the first step into practice. Practicing social skills into practice is a key to unlock the shyness gate that holds these people back. Another piece of advice to help you fight your shyness towards other people: read a book about improving social skills. Some of these books may be outdated and refer to a lifestyle that has long since become obsolete, but there are some modern ones contain a quantity of useful advice on what attitudes to adopt and how to behave in the company of others. These books, they provide clear answers to questions many personal questions people often ask themselves rhetorically since they cant answer them, but they also dont dare ask others, for fear of appearing ignorant or nave

3) MAKE IT HABIT TO TALK TO EVERYONE The third step is to make it a habit to talk to everyone. Since confidence is needed to be able to talk to everyone, timid people need to learn to converse with people to build that confidence. Everyone has to communicate every day in their lives and all the time. Theres no way to avoid it forever. No matter what walk of life they find themselves in. Talking to other people is a necessity.

Shy people can try a step-by-step guide; start small by just saying assalamualaikum or good morning to their family, friends or neighbours every day for instance. When they have started feeling comfortable with that, they can start talking with everyone within their community - to men, women, young, and old - even if its just to say hello. Many people wont take the initiative to get know to another person, which means a shy person has the chance to introduce him or herself to them. It will not be easy, but to fight shyness, that kind of action is necessary. They will find that the majority of people whom they start a conversation with are actually friendly

4) DESENSITIZATION The fourth step is desensitization. Desensitization is a way of reducing or perhaps even eliminating a persons negative reaction to given circumstance or scenario. This has been used to treat a great many phobias and is being used to helps shy individuals learn to handle whatever social gathering they fear and try to avoid. The idea is to bring the shy person gradually into contact with the outside world, in a safe, comfortable non-threatening way. In systematic desensitization, a therapist guides the shy person step-by-step, from simple tasks that have cause him fear and anxiety to larger gathering. Simply put, by giving him the tools and strategies to handle the situations and then exposing him gradually to the same situations hes been avoiding so rigorously, the shy person learns to handle even unfamiliar situations. Any fear or phobia is actually based on the persons fear of losing control. The therapist guides the shy person and show him how to control the situations he fears the most.

5) START A REFLECTIVE JOURNAL The final step on how to overcome shyness has to do with changing self-imposed standards. Start a reflective journal is the way to do so because it serves as a reminder of how much progress have a person made in his or her recovery to outgrow shyness. But the main purpose of a reflective journal is to examine how and why their past experiences have led them up to the point where they are being suffocated by shyness. When people hear the term "journal," they begin to feel defeated even before they begin. They feel as if writing in a journal is a chore instead of a journey looking back into one's past and working on the present for a better future.

CONCLUSIONS Overcoming shyness is the way to happiness and acceptance, harmony and success. By using the five steps; visualization, practice social skills, make it a habit to speak to everyone,

desensitization and start a reflective journal, outgrowing diffidence should be less difficult