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NOT/: The a&ove T/0T12/34/5 is a&sent in the re6istere* version ------------------ 7our out(ut starts &elo8 this line -----------------From Lust to Love &y Cathy Williams Cha(ter One Leo 9ilva ha* never &elieve* in :ate. 2is 6ran*:ather ha* emi6rate* a (au(er :rom 9outh 3meri-a 8ith his youn6 :amily in to8 an* ha* (ulle* himsel: la&oriously u( the la**er a6ainst all o**s# an* his :ather ha* -arrie* on the tra*ition# &uil*in6 the 9ilva em(ire &ri-; &y s8eat-*ren-he* &ri-;. 2is 8as a tra*ition o: e*u-ation# har* 8or;# an* ;ee(in6 one ste( ahea* o: the o((osition. There 8as no room :or the sim(erin6 lu ury o: &elievin6 that results -ame :rom any8here other than the a&ility to outthin;# out(er:orm an* outmaneuver anyone an* everyone. <ut :ate# out o: the &lue# ha* su**enly a((eare* on one o: the &a-; (a6es o: the Ne8 7or; Times an* the timin6 -oul* not have &een more (ro(itious. Leo 6lan-e* *o8n at the (assin6 arti-le that ha* -au6ht his attention an* smile* 8ith utter satis:a-tion at the &lurry (i-ture starin6 &a-; at him. /leanor =ames# en>oyin6 her :i:teen minutes o: :ame :or *e:le-tin6 a shootin6 in-i*ent at a hi6h s-hool in inner -ity Lon*on. Woul* she have ha* any i*ea that her a-t o: &ravery 8oul* -ross the 3tlanti- to :in* its 8ay to his *es; at ":,% on a 6rim Novem&er evenin6? 2e almost lau6he* out lou* at the s(len*i* -oin-i*en-e o: it all. <ut he *i*n@t. Anstea*# he (ushe* his leather s8ivel -hair &a-;# all the &etter to stret-h out his lon6 le6s on the sur:a-e o: the hi6hly (olishe* 8alnut *es;# an* rea-he* :or the tele(hone.

The -all too; less than ten minutes an* it 8as to his truste* :rien*# the only (erson no8 8ho ;ne8 his se-ret an* the (otential it ha* to irrevo-a&ly ruin i: not utterly o&literate the hi6hly or6ani!e* an* -are:ully (lotte* (ath o: his li:e. B3ntonio# A have :oun* her.B No (reliminaries &e-ause none 8ere nee*e*. 3ntonio 5ui! 8oul* ;no8 (re-isely to 8hom he 8as re:errin6# as in*ee* he *i*. B2o8?B BCi-; u( your -o(y o: the Ne8 7or; Times an* turn to (a6e t8elve. There is a little arti-le some8here near the &ottom o: the (a6e# very easy to miss. 9he is livin6 in Lon*on# it 8oul* seem# an* is hale an* hearty an* savin6 little -hil*ren@s lives.B 2e leane* heavily &a-; in the -hair an* stare* u( at the -eilin6# allo8in6 his &eauti:ully (ro(ortione* mouth to -urve into a smile. The smile o: the (re*ator that has :inally :oun* its (rey# a:ter an e haustive -hase. B7our (a(a 8oul* &e ha((y# may his s(irit rest in (ea-e.B BAn*ee*.B BA ta;e it you 8oul* li;e me to ensure that you are on the ne t :li6ht over?B BCon-or*e.B 2e stare* at the ti(s o: his han*ma*e Atalian shoes an* :or the :irst time in :our years# :elt an un-ustomary :eelin6 o: (ea-e settle on his &roa* shoul*ers. BNo nee* to 8aste resour-es :in*in6 out a&out her li:e. There is no time :or that. A >ust 8ant her tele(hone num&er an* 8here she is livin6.B BO: -ourse.B BOh# an* 3ntonio# it 6oes 8ithout sayin6 that se-re-y is o: the essen-e. /s(e-ially in vie8 o: my hi6hly (u&li-i!e* an* eminently satis:a-tory &etrothal.B 2e trie* to thin; o: Caroline &ut instea* :oun* his hea* :ull o: ima6es o: a :resh-:a-e*# *ar;-haire*# &lue-eye* 6irl# a 8is( o: a -reature 8ith a smile li;e sun &rea;in6 throu6h -lou*s. BThe ti-;et 8ill &e on your *es; no later than lun-htime tomorro8. Oh# an* Leo - 6oo* lu-;.B Leo smile* 6rimly an* savore* the (leasura&le :eelin6 o: ;no8in6 that lu-; 8as the last thin6 he nee*e*. 2e ha* :oun* her an* no8# at last# he 8as in a (osition to e or-ise that hi**en# sor*i* *etail in his (ast on-e an* :or

all. Cha(ter T8o B3nother -u( o: >ui-e? Clease?B An the mi**le o: :ranti-ally tryin6 to ti*y the ;it-hen 8hile stu::in6 one small -heese san*8i-h# one :un-si!e* a((le an* one -ereal &ar into a &ri6ht re* lun-h &o sha(e* li;e a ro-;et# /llie (ause* an* 6rinne* at her son. B7ou@re tryin6 my (atien-e#B she -hi*e*# li:tin6 him u( an* ;issin6 him noisily on ea-h -hee; &e:ore *e(ositin6 him &a-; to 6roun* level. BA@m thirsty#B William -om(laine* ho(e:ully. B3n* A@m in a rush. A: 8e *on@t leave no8# 8e@ll &e late to =enny@s an* then A@ll en* u( late :or s-hool. 7ou 8oul*n@t 8ant Dummy to en* u( late :or s-hool# 8oul* you?B B7es.B BNo# you 8oul*n@t# an* &esi*es =enny sai* you little *evils are in :or a treat to*ay. 9he@s 6oin6 to ta;e the three o: you to the s8immin6 &aths an* then to a (ar;. A@ve alrea*y (a-;e* your &athin6 -ostume.B The -arrot *an6le* (rovo-atively :or a matter o: se-on*s an* then the small :a-e# 8ith its mo( o: &la-; hair# &ro;e into a smile. =ui-e 8as (rom(tly :or6otten. 9he 6ra&&e* her han*&a6# :um&le* insi*e it :or the house ;ey# an* 8as on her 8ay to the :ront *oor 8hen the tele(hone ran6. /llie loo;e* at it# in t8o min*s as to 8hether she shoul* *elay her rushe* *e(arture &y (i-;in6 it u(. <ut then it mi6ht &e =enny. Day&e she 8as ill an* 8oul*n@t &e a&le to have William to*ay. /ven the &est o: -hil*-min*ers ha* their o:: *ays an* 8ho else -oul* &e -allin6 at ":.E in the mornin6? BWait here#B she instru-te* her son. 9he hal: ran to the tele(hone# snat-he* it u(# an* sai*# B7es?B into the re-eiver. B/leanor =ames?B B7es...?B 9he :elt a tin6le o: a((rehension :lutter li;e moth 8in6s insi*e her stoma-h# even thou6h she ha* no i*ea 8ho 8as on the other en* o: the line. At 8as >ust the tone o: voi-e. 9o:t# la!y# someho8 (ur(ose:ul. Not li;e any o: the re(orters 8ho ha* &een houn*in6 her :or the (ast :e8 *ays# ever sin-e that in-i*ent at the s-hool. Than; 6oo*ness other more re-ent events 8ere &e6innin6 to oversha*o8 hers. 9he ha* 6iven her (ress

-on:eren-e# relu-tantly# (ose* :or (i-tures# also relu-tantly# an* she -oul*n@t 8ait :or all the :uss to *ie *o8n. B5emem&er me?B 3n* su**enly it hit her. Li;e a sle*6ehammer to the s;ull# tem(orarily (araly!in6 her (o8er o: s(ee-h. Tem(orarily turnin6 her le6s to >elly so that she ha* to imme*iately sit *o8n on the nearest ;it-hen -hair. BA@m sorry....B she stammere*. BA: you@re a re(orter#B she a**e*# -lut-hin6 the last stra8 at her *is(osal &e-ause the alternative 8as too horri:i- to &ear thin;in6 a&out# BA@m in an a8:ul rush. A@ve alrea*y sai* all A have to...to say# any8ay....B BTut# tut. 7ou *isa((oint me.B 3 so:t lau6h -ame *o8n the en* o: the (hone# &ut it 8asn@t a (leasant lau6h# *esi6ne* to li6hten a situation. B4on@t you remem&er Las Fe6as? Four years a6o?B BLas Fe6as.B 2er mouth ha* *evelo(e* the te ture o: -otton 8ool. BFour years a6o.B BA@ve &een loo;in6 :or you :or Guite some time.B There 8as no use in hol*in6 on to the (retense that she *i*n@t ;no8 8ho 8as tal;in6 to her. 9he 6lan-e* to8ar* the ;it-hen *oor# su**enly (rayin6 that William 8oul*n@t &e6in to ma;e any noise. 2e 8as &usy tryin6 to retie his shoela-e at the moment# &ut to**lers -oul* move :rom a state o: relative silen-e to one o: s-ree-hin6 (an*emonium in a matter o: se-on*s. BA@m sorry#B she sai*# tryin6 to soun* :irm# tryin6 not to let her trem&lin6 han*s -onvey a similar messa6e to her vo-al -or*s# BA@* love to sit here an* -hat &ut A@m in a terri:i- rush....B B9o 8hy *o 8e not meet later? 9ay ":,% this evenin6 :or *inner. 3 ta&le has &een &oo;e* at the 9Guare. 2anover 9Guare. Fery ele6ant# hi6hly rate*# so A &elieve. A 8ill e (e-t you there. Oh# an* /llie# *o not even thin; o: not turnin6 u( &e-ause A have your a**ress an* A 8ill not hesitate to -ome an* :in* you. We have so mu-h...to tal; a&out....B /llie re(la-e* the re-eiver# her mouth *ry# an* stare* &lin*ly at her son# at their son. 9o mu-h to tal; a&out...so mu-h :or her to lose... Cha(ter Three At 8as that :a-t# an* that :a-t alone# that 8as the *e-i*in6 :a-tor. O: -ourse he ha* her a**ress an* o: -ourse he 8oul* use it.

/llie ha* &een so su--ess:ul at (ushin6 those un8el-ome memories to the &a-; o: her min*. 3ll these years an* they ha* only (ee(e* out on-e or t8i-e. 7es# it ha* &een har*. /s(e-ially at the &e6innin6# 8hen she ha* :oun* out that she 8as -arryin6 his &a&y. 2ar* -o(in6 on her o8n# 8ith neither (arent alive to 6ive her the moral su((ort she nee*e* an* no si&lin6s to hel( her see thin6s throu6h. 3n* it ha* &een har* ;no8in6 that her son 8oul* &e &orn 8ithout a :ather# or at least 8ithout a :ather he 8oul* ever ;no8# &e-ause she ha*n@t even ;no8n her lover@s last name. 9ittin6 at her *ressin6 ta&le no8# (re(arin6 to meet him# the thou6ht o: it 8as enou6h :or her to rest her hea* in her han*s# ta;in6 *ee( &reaths in an attem(t to Guell the terror risin6 u( her throat li;e to i- &ile. T8o *ays 8ith him. 9he -oul* remem&er the :irst *ay &ut then her memories o: the se-on* *ay# Ne8 7ear@s /ve in a -ity that 8as 6oin6 8il* 8ith the e -itement o: it all# 8ere ha!y to say the least. 9he ha* &ehave*# 8ell# she -oul* &arely sit an* -ontem(late ho8 she ha* &ehave*. No amount o: reasonin6 to hersel: that she ha* &een an emotional mess then# that she ha* &een a-tin6 out her 6rie: at her :ather@s *eath# -oul* ta;e a8ay the shame o: ;no8in6 that she ha* *run; so mu-h that she ha* lost her vir6inity to a man she ha* &arely ;no8n# that she ha* 8o;en u( 8ith a s(littin6 hea*a-he in a stran6e &e* 8ith a stran6e man s(ra8le* ne t to her# that she ha* :le* the s-ene li;e a thie: runnin6 :rom a -ra-; o: a 6unshot. The :a-t 8as that she ha* -o(e*. 3n* nothin6@s 6oin6 to -han6e# she tol* hersel: :ier-ely. A@ll meet him# ans8er his Guestions. <e-ause he 8oul* 8ant to ;no8 8hy she ha* run out on him. That 8as# o: -ourse# 8hy he ha* -onta-te* her. 9he mi6ht not remem&er the *etails o: their &rie: relationshi( too -learly on-e the *rin; ha* starte* ta;in6 hol*# &ut she -oul* remem&er the sort o: man he ha* &een. The sort o: man 6oo* 6irls li;e her ha* al8ays &een 8arne* a6ainst. / -e(t# she ha*n@t &een a 6oo* 6irl then# ha* she? 9he ha* :i!!e* 8ith a hi6h volta6e# s(ar;lin6 intensity that ha* &een as out o: -hara-ter then as it 8as no8. 9he ha* -on-o-te* an ela&orate story a&out hersel:# all (ure :i-tion# an* in a -ity &u!!in6 8ith surrealisti- &rashness# ha* en>oye* every minute o: it. 9he ha* no lon6er &een >ust (lain /leanor =ames 8ho ha* 6one to 3meri-a on the s(ur o: the moment 8ith her &est :rien* to en>oy a &it o: livin6# to try to es-a(e the 6reat 8ell o: unha((iness insi*e her. 9he ha* &een /leanor =ames# a hi6h-so-iety Gueen# 6litterin6 8ith

e (erien-e# (oise# an* savoir :aire. =ust as he ha* 6littere* 8ith e (erien-e# (oise# an* savoir :aire. / -e(t his ha* &een the real thin6. 2e 8oul* have Guaile* in horror at the thou6ht o: slee(in6 8ith a vir6in an* she ha* es-a(e* &e:ore she ha* &een :or-e* to :a-e her o8n silly :a&ri-ations. /s-a(e* &a-; to /n6lan* an* *ealt 8ith the -onseGuen-es. B5i6ht# =en# A@m o:: no8.B They 8ere in the sittin6 room# =enny an* William# 8ith the television on# althou6h William 8as too a&sor&e* in his &ri-;s to (ay it mu-h attention. BWilliam# you@re in &e* in :ive minutesHB B7ou loo;...6or6eous# /llie. Deetin6 anyone *ishy?B BOh# >ust some (assin6 a-Guaintan-e 8ho@s in Lon*on :or a -ou(le o: *ays. A@ll &e &a-; &y ten.B 9he 8al;e* (ur(ose:ully on her hi6h heels to 8here William 8as -rou-hin6 in :ront o: a lo(si*e* to8er o: 8oo*en &lo-;s an* 6ently ;isse* the -hil*ishly so:t na(e o: his ne-;. This# she thou6ht# 8as 8hat mattere* an* all that mattere* an* no one 8as 6oin6 to ta;e that a8ay :rom her. Cha(ter Four Leo ha* reGueste* a ta&le :rom 8hi-h he 8oul* easily &e a&le to see /llie the minute she 8al;e* in# &e:ore she ha* time to see him. 5i6ht at the &a-; o: the room# in the -orner. 2er eyes 8oul* travel hesitantly amon6 the rest o: the *iners &e:ore they ali6hte* on him# an* he 8oul* en>oy those :irst :e8# valua&le se-on*s# en>oy loo;in6 at the 8oman 8ho ha* elu*e* him :or :our years o: :ruitless sear-hin6. 2e 8oul* also en>oy o&servin6 the only 8oman 8ho ha* ever run out on him. 3n* so -om(letely# as thou6h she ha* *ro((e* o:: the :a-e o: the earth. 2e raise* his 6lass o: 8ine to his li(s# too; a si(# an* sat &a-; in the -hair# as -asually rela e* as a ti6er 8aitin6 :or its vi-tim to thou6htlessly a((roa-h to 8ithin stri;in6 *istan-e. 2e &arely noti-e* his surroun*in6s# >ust re6istere* that they 8ere ele6ant# re:ine*# ree;e* o: 6oo* taste. 3n* then he sa8 her an* every mus-le in his &o*y :ro!e as he 8as slamme* &a-; into the (ast. =ust as he ha* (re*i-te*# she 6a!e* a little hel(lessly aroun* her :or a :e8 se-on*s.

9he ha*n@t -han6e*. 9till ha* that strai6ht &la-; hair# *ro((in6 to her shoul*ers li;e a -urtain. 2er :i6ure 8as as &oyishly slen*er as he re-alle* an* her hi6h heels ma*e her loo; lon6er# more 8omanly. 2e sat u( strai6hter an* his 6a!e 8an*ere* involuntarily to the slen*er &ro8n envelo(e. The reason :or this meetin6. When he ne t raise* his eyes it 8as to :in* her starin6 at him# an* the *ire-tness o: her &lue 6a!e insti6ate* a rush o: :eelin6s that he ha* not even &een a8are e iste*. U((ermost 8as un*ilute* anti(athy to8ar* the 8oman 8ho ha* le:t him hi6h an* *ry an* 8orse# ha* ta;en a (ie-e o: his soul 8ith her in the (ro-ess. 2is mouth ti6htene* an* he 8at-he* &roo*in6ly as she hesitantly a((roa-he* his ta&le. Un*er the stu&&orn tilt o: her hea*# he -oul* rea* :ear in her eyes. What the hell *i* she have to &e a:rai* o:? A: anythin6# she shoul* &e :eelin6 the same relie: that he ha* :elt# ;no8in6 that this &usiness -oul* &e (ut &ehin* them &oth :orever. 3lthou6h# (erha(s she *i*n@t ;no8.... B9o you -ame#B he *ra8le*# 8hen she ha* :inally sat *o8n an* 8as :a-in6 him a-ross the e (anse o: 8hite linen an* silver -utlery. B3n* you seem less than over>oye* to see me.B 2e &e-;one* to a 8aiter 8ithout ta;in6 his eyes o:: her an* or*ere* a &ottle o: 9an-erre. B2o8 *i* you :in* me?B 2er memory ha* &een rather less *e(en*a&le than she ha* anti-i(ate*. 2e ha* not &een >ust 8orl*ly 8ise# *ar;-haire*# an* han*some. 9he 8as tryin6 har* not to stare &ut she -oul*n@t hel( it. The man 8as :ri6htenin6ly 6oo*-loo;in6. 2is :a-e 8as more an6ular# more im(osin6 than she remem&ere* an* those steel 6rey eyes 8ere as -ol* as the 9-ottish o-ean on a 8inter@s *ay. BAt 8as very *i::i-ult#B Leo a*mitte* -oolly. B4i* you (ur(ose:ully try to *e-eive me# or *i* lyin6 your hea* o:: a&out your &a-;6roun* -ome as se-on* nature to you?B 2e 8as over-ome &y su-h a (o8er:ul sur6e o: ra6e that he *o8ne* the remain*er o: his 8ine in one lon6 6ul(. BAs that 8hy you -ame here to :in* me? 9o that you -oul* *is-over 8hy A...8hy A 8al;e* out?B B3((arently your :amily all live* in <oston#B he sai* -ol*ly# B&ut (e-uliar as it seems# my sear-h soon -ame to a *ea* en* in that area. Then there 8as

the la8 *e6ree at 2arvar*. No one there ha* ever hear* o: you.B T8o &ri6ht (at-hes o: an6ry -olor :lare* in her -hee;s. B7ou ha* no ri6ht to tra-; me *o8nHB BNor 8oul* A have ma*e any attem(t to *o so#B Leo in:orme* her -ol*ly# B&ut 8e &oth ;no8 8hy A@m here# *on@t 8e?B BWhat are you tal;in6 a&out?B 3 stran6e (ani- too; root in her -hest an* she 8il*ly 8on*ere* i: he ha* someho8 :oun* out a&out William. 2a* he? 2a* he -ome to -laim his son? 3n* 8hat 8as she 6oin6 to *o i: he ha*? Cha(ter Five /llie trie* to 6et a 6ri( on her thou6hts# 8hi-h 8ere veerin6 ma*ly out o: -ontrol. B/ven 8ith *ete-tives at my &e-; an* -all#B Leo sai* into the silen-e# BA (ro&a&ly 8oul* never have :oun* out your 8herea&outs i: it ha* not &een :or your little a-t o: &ravery.B BLittle a-t o: &ravery.B BNo8# no8# not another little a-t# A ho(e.B 2e soun*e* as (aternalisti- as a :ather re(roa-hin6 his 8ay8ar* -hil* :or stealin6 &is-uits :rom the &is-uit tin# &ut his eyes 8ere li;e :lint. B7ou have alrea*y *one the 8ealthy so-ialite :rom <oston 8ith a la8 *e6ree an* a &u-;et o: money to &urn in the 6am&lin6 halls o: Las Fe6as. 4o me a :avor an* *o not attem(t the mo*est little /n6lish 6irl 8ith a taste :or heroi-s.B 2e (ause*# 6ivin6 the 8aiter time to (our them &oth a 6lass o: 8ine an* 6ivin6 her time to *i6est his 8or*s. 2e really ha*n@t meant to treat this as anythin6 &ut a ne-essary meetin6 a:ter 8hi-h they -oul* &oth return to their lives# none the 8orse :or 8ear. <ut su**enly# the s(e-ter o: her *e-eit ha* risen u( &e:ore him an* ta;en a &ite :rom his 6oo* intentions. 2ell# he ha* never &een *e-eive* &y anyone in his li:e &e:ore. Not &y -ollea6ues# a*versaries# an* -ertainly not &y a 8oman. BThe arti-les in the ne8s(a(ers#B /llie sai* 8ith 6ro8in6 *ismay. B7ou rea* the arti-les in the ne8s(a(ers.B 9he :ranti-ally trie* to re-all 8hether mention ha* &een ma*e o: her son or 8hether they ha* *ealt 8ith >ust the e(iso*e# the shootin6# her intervention. 9he -ertainly ha* sai* nothin6 to any o: the re(orters a&out her (rivate li:e# mi6ht even have re:erre* to &ein6 a sin6le 8oman an* 8ith no 8e**in6 rin6 on her han*# there 8oul* have

&een no assum(tions ma*e. <ut even so... BOne arti-le.B Leo smile* 6rimly. B7our :ame ma*e it a-ross the 8aters#B he in:orme* her. B3n* my la8yer# so-ialite# an* 8ealthy heiress 8as trans:orme* into a s-hooltea-her in a se-on*ary s-hool in Central Lon*on. At 8oul* seem that the only (ie-e o: truth you uttere* 8as your name.B BWhat *i* you rea*?B /llie reali!e* that she 8as leanin6 into the ta&le# her &o*y lan6ua6e s(ea;in6 o: her *es(eration to :in* out 8hat he ;ne8# an* she ma*e a -on-erte* e::ort to *ra8 &a-;. The Guestion seeme* to thro8 him :or a :e8 se-on*s an* he :ro8ne*. BWhy *oes it matter?B he 6rate* im(atiently. BWhat matters is that it serve* its (ur(ose. A lo-ate* you.B B<ut 8hat e a-tly *i* you rea*?B she insiste*. BThat you save* the *ay. One -ra!y &oy 8iel*in6 a han*6un# a -lassroom o: terri:ie* -hil*ren# an* one -oura6eous youn6 tea-her. 3ll eGuals a lo-al hero.B B2e 8asn@t -ra!y#B /llie -leare* her throat an* 8on*ere* 8hy he *i*n@t >ust -ome ri6ht out an* tell her that he ;ne8 a&out his son. Day&e he 8as >ust into torturin6 8omen. <ut it *i*n@t hurt to &uy some time# 6ive her a -han-e to 8or; out 8hat she 8oul* *o in the -ir-umstan-es. B2e 8as su::erin6 :r-:rom e am nerves#B she stuttere* on in the :a-e o: his e (ressionless# heavy silen-e. BThere 8as never any -han-e that he 8as a-tually 6oin6 to use the 6un. Not to me# any8ay. 3ll A *i* 8as to tal; to him.... 9ometimes (eo(le >ust nee* to &e tal;e* to....B 2er voi-e traile* o::. 9he 8as &arely a8are o: the menus &ein6 han*e* to them or o: her eyes :littin6 a-ross the :an-y o(tions. 9he ;ne8 that she ha* or*ere* :ish o: some *es-ri(tion an* that her 8ine6lass 8as &ein6 to((e* u(. B<ut you *i*n@t -ome here to listen to an e (lanation o: 8hat A *i*# *i* you?B she 8his(ere* num&ly# lin;in6 her :in6ers to6ether on her la(# sa:ely out o: si6ht. BIuite ri6ht. A *i* not.B Leo (ushe* the envelo(e a-ross to her. BA -ame here &e-ause o: this....B Cha(ter 9i /llie ha*n@t ;no8n. 4ee( *o8n# Leo ha* :elt that she ha*n@t ;no8n or she 8oul* never have 8al;e*

out o: that &e*room. Wat-hin6 the -han6in6 e (ressions on her :a-e no8# the sus(i-ion har*ene* into :a-t. 9he 8as sho-;e*# loo;e* as thou6h she 8as 6oin6 to :aint. When she hal: sta66ere* to her :eet# he automati-ally rea-he* out to stea*y her &ut she :everishly :lun6 his han* asi*e an* sat &a-; *o8n. BNo#B she 8his(ere*# raisin6 her eyes to his &rie:ly an* then s-annin6 the *o-ument in :ront o: her a6ain as thou6h not too sure that it 8as really there# stret-he* &et8een her trem&lin6 :in6ers. BAt -an@t &e...8e -an@t...B BAt -an an* 8e are#B Leo tol* her harshly. BWe -an@t &e marrie*.B 2er min* re:use* (oint-&lan; to -o(e 8ith the revelation. BWe -an@t &e...A 8oul* ;no8...ho8 -oul* A not ;no8...? A 8oul* ;no8...A 8oul* remem&er...B 2e lau6he* *ryly# almost :eelin6 sorry :or her in her state o: sho-; an* then shar(ly remin*in6 himsel: that he ha* :allen :or her on-e# :allen :or that ma6i-al# vulnera&le si*e he ha* 6lim(se* in her :our years a6o# 8hi-h ha* &een (ersuasive enou6h to ma;e him lose his o8n sel: -ontrol to the e tent that he ha* a-tually tal;e* to her. 3&out thin6s that mattere*. 3&out the loss o: his :ather. 3&out his tre(i*ation at ste((in6 into shoes not yet -ol* to ta;e over an em(ire that 8oul* -ertainly 6reet his arrival 8ith anta6onism. BWhat *o you remem&er a&out 8hat ha((ene*?B he ras(e*. 2e 8as har*ly a8are o: the :oo* &ein6 (la-e* in :ront o: him an* 8ave* the soli-itous 8aiter asi*e 8ith &arely a 6lan-e. /llie loo;e* at the a66ressive stran6er in :ront o: her an* shivere*. B7ou@ve -han6e*#B she murmure*# *i((in6 her hea* an* :or;in6 some :ish into her mouth. At taste* o: nothin6. BO: -ourse A have -han6e*. At has &een :our yearsHB 2er o&servation ha* emer6e* as a -riti-ism an* it ran;le*. B7ou have -han6e* even more#B he atta-;e* -ol*ly. BNo8 you tea-h s-hool-hil*ren.B BClease *on@t ;ee( remin*in6 me o:...o:...B B7our &oun*less -a(a-ity to lie?B he insinuate* sil;ily an* 8at-he* her (allor *isa((ear &eneath a (in; &lush. BA -an@t &elieve...B BWhy *i* you lie to me?B There# it 8as out. The Guestion he tol* himsel: he

-oul* -are less i: she ans8ere*. /llie shru66e* an* 6lan-e* u( at him# instantly re6rettin6 it 8hen their eyes tan6le* an* a stea*y thro& &e6an in her tem(les. Never min* 8hat she ha* sai* a&out him -han6in6. One thin6 ha* remaine* the same. 2e 8as as -om(ellin6 as ever. Dore so. 2er :irst lover an* her only lover. 2er 8hole &o*y tin6le* as su**en# shar( memories :loo*e* her min* an* she -lose* her eyes &rie:ly to -lear the un8ante*# intrusive ima6e. B4oes it matter? What matters is that...B BAt *oes not matter# &ut A still *eman* to ;no8.B B7ou *eman*?B BA...8oul* li;e to ;no8#B Leo sai* &rusGuely an* :or the :irst time sin-e she arrive*# he sa8 the 6host o: a smile :li-;er a-ross her :a-e. That smile# in :ull 8atta6e# -oul* move mountains# he remem&ere*# an* he irrita&ly shove* the memory a8ay. BWell# it >ust seeme* :un at the time. The 8hole thin6 8as...:un# an* A 8as *es(erate :or some :un.B /llie (ut her ;ni:e an* :or; *o8n on an un:inishe* (late o: :oo*. BA@m sorry# A@m not very hun6ry.B BA 8ill 6et the &ill. We 8ill 6o some8here a little less...:ormal to -ontinue our tal;.B When he sa8 the :lash o: (ani- on her :a-e# his mouth ti6htene*. BWe still have to sort out this mess# so another es-a(e is not an o(tion.B Not no8 that he ha* :oun* her# an* es(e-ially not no8# at this >un-ture in his li:e# 8ith Caroline hoverin6 in the &a-;6roun*# the 8hole 2o::&er6 *ynasty hoverin6 in the &a-;6roun*# rea*y to -ement the union o: the *e-a*e.... Cha(ter 9even At 8as :ree!in6 -ol* outsi*e. Col* an* 8in*y. /llie *re8 her -oat aroun* her an* san; into the &a-; o: the ta i 8ith relie:. BWhere are 8e 6oin6?B BDy hotel.B B7our hotel?B she 6as(e*# loo;in6 at Leo in horror. 9u-h horror# in :a-t# that he 8as seriously tem(te* to remin* her o: >ust ho8 8armly (liant she ha* &een the last time they ha* met.

BNot my hotel room# /leanor# my hotel. At is &i6# mo*ern# an* has more than one &ar atta-he* to it. 3s A see it# it -ertainly &eats trai(sin6 throu6h Lon*on in this 8eather loo;in6 :or a hal:8ay em(ty (u&.B B5i6ht.B 9he san; &a-; a6ainst the seat an* si6he*. B2eavens# A must have ha* an a8:ul lot to *rin; the ni6ht 8e...B BJot marrie*?B 2er relu-tan-e to voi-e the &al*# un(alata&le :a-t that 8as starin6 them &oth in the :a-e 8as &e6innin6 to irritate him. 3nyone 8oul* thin; that &ein6 marrie* to him 8as a :ate 8orse than *eath. 3n* it 8as har*ly as thou6h she 8as in his situation# 8ith a :ian-Ke in the &a-;6roun* an* a re(utation that 8oul* &e 8ell an* truly (ummele* shoul* the truth ever emer6e. BWill you tell me 8hat ha((ene*? The last thin6 A really remem&er is *an-in6 an* lau6hin6 an* then 6ettin6 into a -ar# A 6uess to 6o &a-; to the hotel.B Leo loo;e* at her averte* (ro:ile# the slen*er -olumn o: her ne-;# the u(turne* (alms o: her han*s restin6 lim(ly on her la(. Then his eyes straye* hi6her# to 8here her -oat no8 lay o(en an* in the sha*o8y *ar;ness o: the ta i. 2e -oul* ma;e out the :irm s8ell o: her &reasts &eneath the (rim 8oolen *ress she 8as 8earin6. 2e loo;e* a8ay a&ru(tly. B5i6ht on one -ount# 8ron6 on the other. 3:ter t8o &ottles o: -ham(a6ne# 8e 6ot it into our hea*s that 8e shoul* 6et marrie*.B This time# /llie *i* loo; at him. 9he -oul*n@t remem&er the -ir-umstan-es &ut she sure as he-; -oul* remem&er the :eelin6 that ha* a--om(anie* them. The :eelin6 that yes# it 8as ri6ht &et8een them# that they 8ere ma*e :or one another. The *emon al-ohol ha* a lot to ans8er :or. BJettin6 marrie* in Las Fe6as is somethin6 one -an *o on the s(ur o: the moment#B he -ontinue* *ryly. BNo nee* :or &loo* tests# no nee* to 8ait# an* everythin6 o(en all hours. For the (ri-ey sum o: ninety *ollars# 8e 6ot a li-ense an* treate* ourselves to a 6em o: a *rive-throu6h 8e**in6.B 2e lau6he* 6rimly. B7ou 8ere -learly too :ar 6one to en>oy the e (erien-e.B BAt 8as li;e &ein6 on a roller--oaster ri*e#B /llie sai* misera&ly. BThe 8hole 8orl* 8as s(innin6 an* nothin6 :elt real in retros(e-t.B 5eality ha* set in soon enou6h# thou6h# 8hen she ha* returne* to /n6lan*# to the small house she ha* inherite* on her :ather@s *eath an* to the (ros(e-t o: imminent motherhoo*. 2er little se-ret. 9he :elt si-; at the thou6ht o: *ealin6 8ith it.

B7ou 8al;e* out.B BA ha* toHB BCare to e (lain 8hy?B BAt 8as >ust a &it o: :un that 6ot out o: han*.B B=ust a &it o: :un...B At ha*n@t &een >ust a &it o: :un :or him# he reali!e* no8. For the :irst time in his li:e he ha* let *o8n his *e:enses# ha* allo8e* his emotions to rule his hea* an* he ha*n@t &een so *run; at the time that he ha*n@t ;no8n 8hat they 8ere *oin6. Jettin6 marrie*. <ut Jo*# he thou6ht 8ith an6ry reali!ation# he ha* 8ante* it. 2e ha* 8ante* to marry her. 3:ter only a :e8 hours in her -om(any# &e-ause he ha* ;no8n. 3n6er at himsel: s(rea* to a 6enerali!e* an6er at her. Caroline 8ith her hau6hty &lon* &eauty an* her moneye* &a-;6roun* :a*e* li;e a (e&&le &ein6 -arrie* a8ay &y a sur6e o: rushin6 ti*al 8ater. This *ar;-haire* nym(h 8ho 8as so morti:ie* at :in*in6 hersel: atta-he* to him &y a marria6e -erti:i-ate ha* never &een e (un6e* :rom his hea*. <ut she 8oul* &e. 3n* he ;ne8 ho8.... Cha(ter /i6ht The &ar 8as as im(ersonal as Leo ha* (romise*. At nestle* in the &asement o: the hotel# 8as :airly *ar;# 8hi-h 8as 6oo*# :airly intimate# 8hi-h 8as less 6oo*# an* :airly -ro8*e*# 8hi-h 8as essential. <e-ause /llie 8as :in*in6 his (resen-e nerve-ra-;in6# an* that 8as only (artially &e-ause o: the e traor*inary -ir-umstan-es o: their meetin6 an* the 6ut-8ren-hin6 a6ony o: her o8n little se-ret. The :a-t 8as that her &o*y 8as not &ehavin6 the 8ay it shoul*. 2e seeme* to &e emanatin6 some ;in* o: lethal ele-tri- -har6e that ha* every (ulse in it >um(in6. 9he 8at-he* -overtly as he stro*e u( to the &ar to 6et their *rin;s an* then lo8ere* her eyes as he turne* to s8in6 &a-; to8ar* their ta&le# 8hi-h 8as set asi*e :rom those in the -enter. B9o#B Leo sai*# han*in6 her the 6lass o: 8ine she ha*n@t or*ere* an* sittin6 *o8n o((osite her. BA as;e* :or oran6e >ui-e.B B7ou 8ere tellin6 me 8hy you lie* to me.B

B7ou -an@t let that 6o# -an you?B BA have never &een lie* to &e:ore.B BNever? What a sheltere* li:e you must have le*.B 2er eyes s;ittere* a8ay :rom the smile o: (ure -harm that altere* the harsh arro6an-e o: his :a-e. B/asy (rey :or a 8oman li;e you.B <ut the har*ness she 8oul* have e (e-te* 8as missin6 :rom his 8or*s. They 8ere almost teasin6# 8hi-h surely -oul*n@t &e ri6ht -onsi*erin6 the mess they 8ere no8 in. BNo la8 *e6ree#B /llie sai*# ta;in6 a very small si( o: 8ine an* then 6ently *e(ositin6 her 6lass on the -ir-ular ta&le. BNo ri-h (arents# A@m a:rai*. No <oston# in :a-t. A 6uess#B she si6he* heavily# relivin6 the 8ei6ht o: sa*ness that ha* (ro(elle* her visit to :ar-o:: shores# BA 8as >ust so sa* at the time. Dy mum ha* *ie* the year &e:ore an* my :ather ha* *ie* only a matter o: months &e:ore A 8ent to 3meri-a. A 8as very...very -lose to my (arents# you see# A >ust 8asn@t rea*y :or either o: them to *ie# never min* &oth.B 9he ru&&e* her eyes 8ith her thum&s an* *re8 a *ee( &reath. BA un*erstan*.B /llie *i*n@t 8ant his un*erstan*in6. At -om(li-ate* thin6s# turne* her se-ret into a 6uilty one# even thou6h she -oul* not have lo-ate* him 8hen she ha* *is-overe* the (re6nan-y even i: she ha* 8ante* to. B7ou -ame alon6 an* you ma*e me :eel li;e a (rin-ess# so A turne* mysel: into oneH A -reate* someone interestin6 an* ra*iant an* -are:ree an* A ma*e her 8ealthy &e-ause A *i*n@t thin; that you 8oul* &e too intereste* in someone 8ho 8as (retty (oor# someone 8ho 8as >ust out o: tea-her trainin6 -olle6e an* 8as (lannin6 to tea-h eleven-year-ol*s at a s-hool not seven miles :rom the house she ha* live* in sin-e she 8as a -hil*. That 8oul* have &een too *ull :or you# so A turne* mysel: into some&o*y else# some&o*y more interestin6. A nee*e* to es-a(e :or a 8hile an* so A *i*. At@s as sim(le as that.B 7es# it ma*e sense. 2er lau6hter ha* &een >oyous &ut &rittle an* her eyes ha* &een too *amne* honest :or him to really &elieve 8hat her mouth ha* &een sayin6. That 8as 8hy he ha* :allen :or her. Whi-h *i*n@t mean that she ha*n@t s-re8e* u( his li:e one 8ay or another. BA su((ose you@re :urious#B she sai*# e (e-tin6 his 8rath an* 8aitin6 to re-eive the &lo8 &e-ause she -oul* *eal 8ith his 8rath a lot &etter than she -oul* *eal 8ith that 6limmer o: 8or*less -om(assion that he ha* earlier sho8n.

BDore li;e im(resse* 8ith your a-tin6 a&ilities#B Leo tol* her 8ryly# BA *on@t su((ose you tea-h *rama &y any -han-e.B B/n6lish an* 6eo6ra(hy.B 2e 8as loo;in6 at her# really loo;in6 at her an* the *ire-tness o: his 6a!e ma*e her :eel su**enly 6i**y. 9omethin6 here ha* -han6e* an* she *i*n@t ;no8 8hat. 9he >ust ;ne8 that she ha* to 6et a8ay &e:ore...&e:ore 8hat...? <e:ore somethin6 ha((ene* that shoul*n@t...somethin6 that she -oul* not a::or* to let ha((en... Cha(ter Nine B9o ho8 *o 8e...6et a *ivor-e?B =ust sayin6 the 8or*s :elt a little unreal. 2ere she 8as# in a marria6e that she -oul* not remem&er 6ettin6 into# althou6h little &its 8ere &e6innin6 to -ree( &a-; into her hea* li;e (ie-es o: a >i6sa8 (u!!le slo8ly -omin6 to6ether# an* 8ith a -hil* a&out 8hom her hus&an* ha* no i*ea. 2us&an* an* 8i:e. Lu*i-rous# unsettlin6# :ri6htenin6. BThat &it A haven@t as yet -he-;e* out#B Leo a*mitte*. 2e leane* :or8ar*# restin6 his arms on his thi6hs# -losin6 the *istan-e &et8een them. 9e*u-tion 8as &e-;onin6 to him li;e the :in6er o: Fate. 2e ha* :allen in love 8ith herL she ha* treate* him as a thera(euti- *allian-e# a (assin6 -ure :or her (ro&lems. 3 s-ore nee*e* settlin6 an* he ha* never &e:ore run a8ay :rom settlin6 s-ores. Oh# no. At 8asn@t in his &loo*. Caroline 8as an arran6ement &ut this 8as ol* &usiness. 2e 8oul* *eal 8ith it. B4o 8e nee* to 6o &a-; to Las Fe6as?B /llie -he8e* her li( 8orrie*ly. BA -oul*n@t (ossi&ly *o that. A... Dy >o&... 3n* &esi*es# A >ust *on@t have the money....B Not to mention the small (ro&lem o: their son# the son he *i*n@t ;no8 a&out. 9he :elt :aint. BOh# A shoul*n@t thin; that 8oul* &e ne-essary.B 2e li6htly rea-he* out to hol* the ti(s o: her :in6ers# so:tly stro;in6 them an* she snat-he* her han* a8ay. BWhat are you *oin6HB BWe 8ere 6oo* to6ether# 8eren@t 8e#B he murmure*. 2e 8at-he* as she *re8 a8ay. B2ave you ha* many other lovers sin-e me?B BA shoul* 6o....B BWhy? No8 that our little (ro&lem is out in the o(en# 8here@s the harm in -hattin6 li;e t8o a*ults? <esi*es# A still have a :e8 Guestions to as;

you....B BIuestions li;e 8hat?B BWhy *i* you run a8ay li;e that?B BA... Dy :li6ht &a-; home...B BTruth.B /llie -oul* :eel his mas-uline (resen-e surroun*in6 her until she -oul* &arely &reathe. 2e seeme* to have e*6e* -loser to her someho8. 2is ;nees 8ere (ra-ti-ally tou-hin6 hers an* her :in6ers 8ere still tin6lin6 :rom their &rie: -onta-t 8ith his han*. What 8as 6oin6 on here? BWell?B he (resse* so:tly# mesmeri!in6ly. BA...B 9he remem&ere* 6i66lin6 as they *rove throu6h# si6nin6 her name# loo;in6 u( at him a*orin6ly an* his eyes lau6hin6 &a-; at her. T8o -are:ree (eo(le si6nin6 their lives a8ay. 9he must have &lan;e* out the memory# shove* it a8ay some8here an* no8 it 8as -omin6 &a-; out o: its hi*in6 (la-e. B7ou 8oul*n@t un*erstan*....B 2er voi-e 8as hal:-(lea*in6. BTry me.B 9u**enly tellin6 him *i*n@t seem im(ortant anymore. Why shoul* it? 2e 8as (art o: her history no8. What she *i* a&out William 8as another matter# somethin6 she 8oul* sort out in *ue -ourse. BA 8asn@t...the ;in* o: 6irl you thou6ht A 8as. Li;e A sai*# it 8as all a &it o: a 6ame# a &it o: a lau6h# (laya-tin6. <ut 8hen 8e 6ot &a-; to the hotel# 8ell# it 8asn@t (laya-tin6 anymore an*...an*...A ;no8 it seems ri*i-ulous &ut A 8as...t8enty-one an* A ha* never...B 2e 8as loo;in6 at her 8ith 6ro8in6 in-re*ulity. At 8oul* have &een -omi-al i: she ha* ta;en time out to o&serve him :rom a *istan-e# &ut /llie 8as -au6ht u( in her o8n morti:i-ation# still alive an* ;i-;in6 a:ter :our years. B7ou 8ere a vir6in#B he sai* in ama!ement. B9hhHB /llie loo;e* aroun* her an* lo8ere* her voi-e# &ri6ht re* 8ith

remem&ere* em&arrassment. B4i*n@t you ;no8? 2a*n@t you 6uesse*? A never loo;e* at the sheets. A assume*...B BNo# there 8as no in*i-ation. 3 vir6in...B The ur6e to tou-h her# :eel her intensi:ie* until he 8as a-hin6 8ith it. B3n* no8?B he murmure*. B2ave you save* yoursel: :or 8hen A -ame &a-;...?B Cha(ter Ten /llie starte*. When she s(o;e# she trie* to soun* amuse* an* *ismissive &ut she -oul* hear the tremor in her voi-e. B4on@t &e ri*i-ulousH A never...e (e-te* you to -ome loo;in6 :or meH A@m ama!e* you even remem&ere* my nameHB B7ou 8ere my 8i:e.B B7es# A reali!e that no8...&ut A *i*n@t ;no8.... A (ut it &ehin* me....B 2er 8or*s 8ere &e-omin6 ho(elessly tan6le*# less &e-ause her min* 8as -on:use* than &e-ause o: the 8ay Leo 8as loo;in6 at her. 3n* the -ra!y 8ay her &o*y 8as res(on*in6 to him. 3s thou6h she ha* &een :lun6 &a-; throu6h time an* 8as on-e a6ain seein6 him throu6h the eyes o: the 6irl she ha* on-e &een. On-e &een? BTrue. <ut here A am. 9o# tell me# 8ere there any other men?B /llie 8as ren*ere* s(ee-hless an* in the silen-e# he slo8ly no**e*. 3ny other men? 9he :oun* that she 8as sha;in6 her hea*. No# only him. The atmos(here 8as thi-; 8ith uns(o;en 8or*s an* very slo8ly she rea-he* out. At 8as as thou6h her han* move* o: its o8n a--or* - she 8as -om(elle* to tou-h that s;in# :eel the 8armth &urn her :in6ers. 2er li(s 8ere sli6htly (arte* as her trem&lin6 han* &rushe* the si*e o: his :a-e. 9he ha* leane* to8ar* him an* Leo :elt an e (losion o: *esire that rushe* at him an* throu6h him 8ith the :ury o: a :rei6ht train. 2e stru66le* to remem&er that he 8as en6a6e*# that this meetin6 8as all a&out &usiness# &ut... BWhat *o you thin; it 8oul* &e li;e? To relive ol* times...see 8hether 8e really 8ere that 6oo* to6ether...B 2e hear* the rou6hness o: his o8n voi-e sayin6 thin6s that his &rain shoul* have -ensore*. 2e too; her han* an* stro;e* the so:t :lesh o: her (alm 8ith his thum&. No

thou6hts o: Caroline# or the (er:e-t suita&ility o: their loveless union# -oul* :i6ht the :ero-ity o: 8hat he 8as :eelin6 ri6ht here# ri6ht no8. 2e ;isse* the ten*er un*ersi*e o: her 8rist an* :elt her shiver. 2er res(onse :ire* the ra-in6 nee* insi*e him. BThat@s...that@s -ra!y....B /llie 8his(ere*. 3n* it 8as# 8asn@t it? 2e 8as a (art o: her history no8...&ut she :elt somethin6 stir insi*e her# a 6na8in6 reali!ation that she ha* never :or6otten him# not at all. Why else ha* no men attra-te* her sin-e him? Why else ha* she &een a&le to lau6h 8ith them# -hat 8ith them &ut ha* never 8ante* to &e tou-he* &y any o: them? 7et here she 8as# 8et 8ith *esire a:ter a matter o: a -ou(le o: hours s(ent 8ith Leo. BA shoul* 6o home no8....B she sai* unstea*ily. 9he -oul*n@t tear her eyes a8ay :rom his :a-e or her trea-herous han* out o: his. B7ou...you -an 6et in tou-h 8ith me a&out...a&out the situation.... A@ll si6n 8hatever...8hatever nee*s si6nin6....B 2e loo;e* at her :rom un*er thi-;# *ar; eyelashes# sa8 her tremulous mouth# :elt the s;itterin6 o: her nerves# ;ne8 that she 8as :eelin6 >ust as he 8as.... An that s(lit instant# 8hen he shoul* have &een ta;in6 a :irm stan* :or reason# his min* 8as :lyin6 to8ar* a *estination he never ;ne8 he 8ante* so &a*ly# until no8. B7our home.B 2is voi-e lin6ere* over the 8or*s an* the i*ea o: slee(in6 8ith her :ille* him 8ith 6roin-a-hin6 *esire. BA...must 6o....B Thou6hts o: William slee(in6 (ea-e:ully in his &e* sur:a-e* throu6h her mu**le* &rain. 9he nearly ha* a heart atta-; on the s(ot. B7ou 8ant to 6o home alone? 3re you tryin6 to -onvin-e yoursel: or me? Why *on@t A *ro( you at your home? What is it li;e?B BNoHB Cani- sur6e* throu6h her &ut &eneath the (ani-# the irresisti&le# (o8er:ul (ull o: *esire 8as ma;in6 her thou6hts slu66ish. 9he -oul*n@t a::or* to &e li;e this# &arely a&le to thin; -learly. 9he ha* too mu-h to (rote-t. <ut... BA have a room here# /llie. 3 suite...B B4on@t say thatHB BWhy? 7ou are trem&lin6. As that :or me?B 2is voi-e 8as thi-; an* ra66e* an* 8ith a so:t moan# /llie leane* :or8ar*

an* -a(ture* his mouth &lin*ly 8ith hers# o::erin6 hersel: :reely to him# -urvin6 into him# hea*in6 :or an o&livion she ha* to have &ut one that she ;ne8 she 8oul* re6ret.... Cha(ter /leven /llie -oul* :eel her heart &eatin6 8il*ly as she :ollo8e* him into the elevator. Leo@s arm 8as still aroun* her# *ra(e* over her shoul*er# an* her :in6ers 8ere lin;e* throu6h his. They loo;e* the (i-ture o: a normal -ou(le in love. Was this ho8 she ha* :elt :our years a6o? An love? 2a* :un &e-ome somethin6 *ee(er? 9he -oul*n@t thin; a&out that no8# not 8hen the li:t *oors 8ere o(enin6 an* he 8as 8al;in6 alon6 8ith her to8ar* a *oor# slottin6 in the -ar* use* &y the hotel in lieu o: ;eys# -losin6 the *oor &ehin* them.... Then their han*s 8ere every8here. <e:ore they -oul* even ma;e it to the ;in6-si!e &e* that she -oul* >ust 6lim(se throu6h the *oor ahea* o: them# her &a-; 8as (resse* a6ainst the *oor an* her eyes 8ere -lose* as she :um&le* 8ith his &elt# hel(in6 him to yan; it a8ay# one less o&sta-le &et8een the eventual tou-hin6 o: :lesh a6ainst :lesh. The li6ht# so:t 8ool o: her *ress :elt li;e a uni:orm o: iron# her ti6hts 8ere li;e -lin6 :ilm aroun* her le6s. 9he -oul*n@t 8ait to :ree hersel:. 3n* he -oul*n@t 8ait to :ree her. Jone 8as the mastery an* sel:--ontrol he usually &rou6ht to his lovema;in6. An its (la-e 8ere ra8# (rimitive ur6es that ha* him sha;in6. 2e tu66e* the lon6 !i((er o: her *ress an* (ulle* it *o8n until her la-y &rassiere 8as all that lay &et8een his han*s# his mouth# an* the so:t (aleness o: her heavin6 &reasts. Cravin6 8as somethin6 he ha*n@t :elt :or a 8oman# not sin-e... 3ttra-tion# yes# &ut this shar( (ull on his senses 8as *rivin6 him -ra!y# turnin6 him into a ma*man. 2e sli* the stra(s o: her &ra *o8n an* 6roane* as his eyes :easte* on the >ut o: her &reasts# the &i6 -ir-les o: her ni((les 8ith their har*# thro&&in6 nu&s that 8ere &e66in6 :or his mouth. With one easy movement# he li:te* her o:: her :eet an* -arrie* her s8i:tly throu6h to the &e*room# then he lay her on the &e* an* 8at-he* her 8at-hin6 him as he stri((e* himsel: o: his -lothes. At 8as all very 6rati:yin6 to see her :eastin6 her eyes on his im(ressively arouse* mas-ulinity. At 8as also *oin6 nothin6 to sla;e the :ren!y o: *esire

that ha* &urst throu6h him li;e 8ater &rea;in6 :ree :rom a *am. B7ou *on@t ;no8 8hat you are *oin6 to me#B he moane*# :in*in6 the &e*# :in*in6 her &o*y# *ivestin6 it o: *ress# ti6hts# un*er8ear. BA -ame on a mission....B 2e ha* to tou-h her. /very8here. <reasts# mouth# stoma-h. 2is :in6ers :oun* the moistness &et8een her le6s# ru&&e* her until she 8as -ryin6 out an* :in6ers 8ere not enou6h. 2e :elt as i: he 8ere -omin6 home. 2e hate* the :eelin6 &ut he 8as *ro8nin6 in it. Da;in6 love ha* never &een this 6oo* an* a:ter8ar*# lyin6 8ith a 8oman ha* never :elt this satis:yin6. /llie si6he* an* turne* on her si*e so that they 8ere :a-in6 ea-h other# her &reasts sGuashe* a6ainst his (o8er:ul# &roa* -hest. Their le6s 8ere tan6le* to6ether un*er the sheet. BJoo*?B 2e loo;e* *o8n at her an* rea-he* to stro;e some hair a8ay :rom her :a-e. B7ou *on@t really thin; A@m 6oin6 to (an*er to your e6o &y a*mittin6 that it 8as :antasti-# *o you?B she tease*. When he smile* &a-; at her# she :elt as i: she 8ere surroun*e* &y a &lan;et o: 8armth. 2o8 -oul* she not -on:ess a&out William? 2o8 -oul* she not tell him that he 8as :ather to a to**ler 8ho loo;e* un-annily li;e him# same set to his mouth# same sha(e to his eyes? 9he -leare* her throat an* in the :ra-tion o: time it too; :or her to try to thin; o: a 8ay o: -om(osin6 her 8or*s to say 8hat she ha* to say# the tele(hone ran6. Leo &arely move* to rea-h it. =ust leane* onto his &a-; 8ith his arm still un*er her an* snat-he* u( the re-eiver. Then he 8as sittin6 u( an* so 8as she# 8at-hin6 the tense set o: his shoul*ers an* ;no8in6 that somethin6 ha* ha((ene*.... Cha(ter T8elve Leo slun6 his le6s over the si*e o: the &e* an* s(o;e so:tly into the tele(hone. <ehin* him he 8as a8are that /llie 8as loo;in6 at him. 2e ha* >ust sle(t 8ith her# ha* *eli6hte* in every se-on* o: it. 2e shoul* &e

:eelin6 as 6uilty as hell ri6ht at this moment# 8ith Caroline s(ea;in6 to him# &ut he *i*n@t. B2o8 *i* you ;no8 8here A 8as?B he as;e* in a lo8 voi-e. Without loo;in6 &a-;8ar*# he *isa((eare* into the sittin6 room a*>a-ent to the &e*room 8ithout &otherin6 to shiel* his nu*ity. BWell# 3ntonio 8oul*n@t tell me an* it all soun*e* so...mysterious.B 9he *i*n@t soun* thrille* 8ith the mystery# ho8ever. 9he soun*e* :urious. BAn -ase you@* :or6otten 8e 8ere su((ose* to &e s(en*in6 the 8ee;en* 8ith my (arents an* the 5o&insons. Fery *i::i-ult no8 that you@re no lon6er even in the -ountry# 8oul*n@t you say# Leo?B B2o8 *i* you ;no8 8here A 8as?B he re(eate*. Caroline ha* &een the natural -on-lusion to a relationshi( that ha* -ommen-e* ei6ht months (reviously throu6h an arti:i-ial setu( &y her (arents# 8ho 8ere ;een to see her marrie* to someone ri-h an* (o8er:ul enou6h to maintain her li:estyle. 2e ha* :itte* the &ill an* she# li;e8ise# ha* suite* him. 2er voi-e 6rate* at him *o8n the en* o: the re-eiver an* he 8as ;eenly a8are o: the na;e*# (assionate -reature 8aitin6 :or him in the &e*room# 8aitin6 :or his han*s to tou-h her# set her ali6ht on-e a6ain. B7ou@re...8hat?B 2is min* ha* *ri:te* :rom 8hat she ha* &een sayin6 &ut it &e-ame very alert no8. Caroline# in a :irst ever interru(tion o: her he-ti- so-ial li:e# 8ith its lun-hes an* :a-ials an* mani-ures an* sho((in6 in only the most e -lusive o: *esi6ner stores# ha* -ome to Lon*on. 2e su**enly :elt vastly irritate*. 2e *i*n@t 8ant her here. 2e *i*n@t# he thou6ht# 8ant her. What the hell 8as 8ron6 8ith himH 2is :a-e 8as 6rimly set 8hen he stro*e into the &e*room :ive minutes later. Lor*# &ut she loo;e* e*i&le sittin6 there on the &e* 8ith her ;nees *ra8n u( an* the sheet (ulle* to -over her &reasts. BWhat@s the matter?B BA a(olo6i!e &ut you@re 6oin6 to have to 6o.B /llie *i*n@t say anythin6. The stran6er 8ith the shuttere*# an6ry e (ression 8as &a-; an* all the 8armth she ha* :elt# the -ertainty that she 8oul* tell him the a&solute truth o: their situation# *raine* out o: her li;e 8ater

*o8n a (lu6 hole. B5i6ht.B B4on@t loo; at me li;e that#B he muttere*# ra;in6 his lon6 :in6ers throu6h his hair. BA@m not loo;in6 at you li;e anythin6.B B7ou ;no8...A 8oul* rather you staye*.B <ut he 8as alrea*y slin6in6 on his &o er shorts# (a-in6 the room 8ith a sort o: restless ener6y that ma*e her 8on*er 8hat the he-; that (hone -all ha* &een a&out. <usiness? Trou&le at the o::i-e? 4i* it matter? 2e ha* sle(t 8ith her an* no8 he 8as rea*y :or her to -lear o:: so that he -oul* 6et &a-; to his real li:e. 2er heart 8as &eatin6 :ast as she too; her -ue :rom him an* 6ot *resse* in re-or* time# not &otherin6 8ith the ti6hts# 8hi-h she shove* into her han*&a6. The silen-e stret-hin6 &et8een them 8as a6oni!in6. BA nee* to see you a6ain#B he tol* her rou6hly# -losin6 the s(a-e &et8een them so that he -oul* 6ri( her :orearms 8ith his han*s. BA ha* not (lanne* :or...this to ha((en.B B9houl* A &e :lattere* &y that or insulte*?B /llie as;e* -ol*ly. BA have somethin6 to sort out.B B7es.B 9he 6ra&&e* her -oat an* 6lare* :uriously at him. BThe small matter o: our *ivor-e. =ust sen* me 8hatever (a(ers A nee* to si6n# Leo# an* A@ll si6n them. No nee* :or us to lay eyes on ea-h other a6ain. Let@s >ust (ut this *o8n to a s(ot o: :un.B BA@ll &e in tou-h.B B7ou have my (hone num&er. Use it. A *on@t 8ant to see you a6ain. T8i-e is enou6h....B Cha(ter Thirteen Leo an* Caroline met :or &rea;:ast in his hotel restaurant. 9he 8as still :umin6. 3 :e8 hours o: slum&er ha* *one nothin6# he note* *is(assionately# to ease her tem(er. Caroline 8as not a--ustome* to u(settin6 her (lans :or anyone an* tre;;in6 to Lon*on &ehin* him 8as a stu(en*ous u(set o: all her (lans.

Cre*it to her that sheer -unnin6 ha* le* her to him. <ut her an6er 8as -ertainly 6oin6 to 6o u( &y several not-hes 8hen he tol* her 8hat he ha* to. 2o8ever neat a &usiness arran6ement their marria6e 8oul* &e# he *i*n@t 8ant it. 2e 8as sho-;e* that he ever ha*. <ut then he ha* :or6otten the nature o: (assion# the animal -ravin6 that -oul* turn your li:e u(si*e *o8n# the vital in6re*ient o: any su--ess:ul marria6e# surely. 3n* all those ol* :eelin6s# still there# ha* only ever &een restin6. Cra!y &ut true. BCaroline#B he interru(te* her 8earily in mi*torrent# Bthis isn@t 6oin6 to 8or;.B For the :irst time sin-e she ha* storme* over to his hotel# he sa8 a :li-;er o: alarm mar those (er:e-tly (ro(ortione* :eatures. B7es# you@re ri6ht# my *arlin6.B 9he leane* :or8ar*# the essen-e o: &lon*# e (ensively maintaine* -hi- an* he instin-tively *re8 &a-;. BA@m &ehavin6 Guite out o: -hara-ter. 9o let@s >ust :or6et any e (lanations o: 8hy you@re here an* en>oy ourselves a little.B 9he smile* -oyly. BCerha(s -hoose a 8e**in6 rin6? What &etter (la-e than 8on*er:ul Lon*on?B B7ou *o not seem to have hear*.B This time the alarm &lossome* into :ull-&lo8n :ear. BAt is over &et8een us. A *o not love you nor *o you love me.B O: -ourse it -oul*n@t en* there. An his *reams# may&e# she 8oul* have 6ra-e:ully allo8e* him to leave# &ut she *i*n@t. 9he :ollo8e* him &a-; u( to the hotel room# re:use* to 6ive him the lu ury o: retreatin6 :rom a situation he ha* *ri:te*# stu(i*ly# into. BWhat e a-tly has &een 6oin6 on here# any8ay?B she as;e*# narro8in6 her 6la-ial &lue eyes# an* Leo@s :a-e :lushe* *ar;ly. 2e >ust 8ante* her out# 8ante* to 6et on the tele(hone an* -all /llie. =ust the (ros(e-t o: hearin6 the so:t mo*ulations o: her voi-e :ille* him 8ith a sense o: yearnin6. 3n* he ha* 8or; to *o. 2a* to sort out her un*erstan*a&ly hurt :eelin6s at the 8ay he ha* &een :or-e* to as; her to leave# no e (lanation 6iven. BNothin6 has &een 6oin6 on#B he lie*# mostly to s(are her :eelin6s even thou6h he ;ne8 that 8hatever she sai*# Caroline 8oul* &oun-e &a-; :rom this re>e-tion# no &ro;en heart involve*. BA nee*e* to thin; so A -ame here. 3 (la-e 8here my :a-e is not ;no8n. 3n* no8#B he in:orme* her# BA am 6oin6 to

have a very lon6 &ath. When A -ome out# Caroline# A *o not 8ant you to &e here. We have sai* all there is to say.B B3n* 8hat am A su((ose* to *o? Tell everyone? Dy (arents? Frien*s? That A have &een *it-he*?B Leo too; one ste( :or8ar*# his :a-e -ol*. At 8as enou6h. B7ou@ll (ay :or this# Leo#B she sai*# stum&lin6 &a-;8ar* a -ou(le o: (a-es# &ut as :ar as he 8as -on-erne*# the -onversation 8as at an en*. 2e turne* his &a-; on her# stro*e to8ar* the &athroom an* slamme* the *oor very :irmly an* very (ointe*ly &ehin* him. 3s soon as he :i6ure* /llie 8as &a-; :rom s-hool# he 8oul* -all her# thro8 his (ri*e to the :our 8in*s an* *o 8hatever it too; to -onvin-e her to see him a6ain. Four years a6o an* in the s(a-e o: only a matter o: hours# she ha* -ra8le* un*er his s;in an* lo*6e* there. 9lee(in6 8ith her one more time ha* -ure* him o: nothin6. A: anythin6# it ha* sto;e* his *esire. Thin6s 8ere not 8or;in6 out Guite the 8ay he ha* e (e-te*.... Cha(ter Fourteen /llie hear* the rin6 o: the *oor&ell only minutes a:ter she ha* ste((e* :oot &a-; into the house an* her heart lur-he* in her -hest. 9he *i*n@t 8ant it to &e Leo# &ut at the same time she *es(erately ho(e* that it 8as. They ha* (arte* in an6er an* it 8asn@t ri6ht. That 8as the thou6ht that ha* ta;en root in her trea-herous min* an* re:use* to &u*6e. <esi*es# there 8as the (ro&lem o: William to a**ress. 9he ha* s(ent the 8hole *ay thin;in6 a&out that# -he8in6 on the issue li;e a *o6 8ith a &one an* 8as no nearer to ;no8in6 8hat she shoul* *o. O: -ourse# she shoul* tell him. 9he ;ne8 8here he 8as stayin6. One (hone -all. <ut then the thou6ht o: *oin6 that# :a-in6 yet more ra6e# not to mention the host o: -om(li-ations that 8oul* ensue# ma*e her min* -lam( *o8n on the thou6ht. A: that 8as him at the *oor then so &e it. 9he (ulle* o(en the *oor# alrea*y &ra-e* to see him# :orti:yin6 her unstea*y heart not to res(on* an* her mouth *ro((e* o(en in &e8il*erment.

B7ou must &e /leanor =ames.B BWho are you?B BDay A -ome in?B Caroline *i*n@t 8ait :or an ans8er to that one. 9he 6ently nu*6e* a6ainst the *oor# relyin6 on -uriosity an* the very <ritish -a(a-ity :or (oliteness to 8or; in her :avor. At *i*. B7ou must &e 8on*erin6 8hat A@m *oin6 here#B she sai*# loo;in6 aroun* her. 9mall house. Fery unim(ressive. <ut the 6irl ha* somethin6# somethin6 she -oul*n@t Guite (ut her :in6er on. BLet@s >ust say that A mana6e* to res-ue your name an* a**ress :rom a -ertain ele-troni- *iary that 8as lyin6 -arelessly on to( o: a -ertain *ressin6 ta&le.B At too; a :e8 minutes :or /llie to 6ather hersel: to6ether an* remin* hersel: that this 8as her house an* 8hoever the &eauti:ul &lon*e 8as stan*in6 there# (eerin6 aroun* 8ith a &arely -on-eale* e (ression o: *istaste# she 8as the intru*er an* shoul* &e the one ans8erin6 the Guestions. BWho are you an* 8hat are you *oin6 here?B 9he :ol*e* her arms to6ether an* -ol*ly s-anne* the :a-e no8 :inally re6isterin6 her (resen-e a:ter an insolent ins(e-tion o: her surroun*in6s. BA *o a(olo6i!e. Caroline. Caroline 2o::&er6.B BWell# Diss 2o::&er6# A *on@t ;no8 8hat you@re *oin6 here &ut A 8oul* li;e you to leave.B BOh# A@m sure you 8oul*n@t. Not yet# any8ay. Not until you hear 8hat A@ve 6ot to say.B /llie :elt a si-;enin6 mi o: &e8il*erment an* a((rehension ra-e alon6 her s(ine. B7ou may not have hear* o: me# &ut A 8on*er...have you hear* o: Leo 9ilva? 3h# yes# A -an see :rom your e (ression that you have. A *on@t su((ose he@s mentione* me# has he?B The smile 8as a mas; o: hatre*. BNo# no# he 8oul*n@t have. Not many men :eel :ree to *is-uss their :ian-Ke to another lover.B BFian-Ke?B BThat@s ri6ht# an* here@s the en6a6ement rin6 to (rove it. One Guestion...ho8 lon6 has it &een 6oin6 on?B BClease. Leave.B <ut her voi-e 8as un-onvin-in6. 9he 8ante* a hole to o(en

u( an* s8allo8 her 8hole# or &etter still to o(en u( an* s8allo8 the vi(er stan*in6 in :ront o: her. 2e ha* sle(t 8ith her# ma*e love to her# an* he 8as 6ettin6 marrie*. At all ma*e sense. 2is an iousness to sort out their little (ro&lem# the (hone -all# her hasty *e(arture. 9he :elt soile*# morti:ie*. B2o8 lon6?B BNothin6@s 6oin6 on &et8een us#B /llie stum&le* over the 8or*s. B7es# A ;no8 him &ut A haven@t lai* eyes on him :or :our years. Last ni6ht 8as the :irst time A@ve seen him...sin-e then.B B5eally.B 9he (ause*# allo8e* her eyes to *ri:t &ehin* /llie 8ho :ollo8e* her 6a!e in terri:ie* slo8 motion to 8here William ha* a((eare* :rom the *ire-tion o: the ;it-hen# -lut-hin6 a toy tru-;. B3n* 8ho...is that? No# (lease# allo8 me to 6uess....B Cha(ter Fi:teen Thin6s -oul*n@t 6et any 8orse# -oul* they? Caroline ha* ta;en one loo; at William# seen the si6ni:i-ant resem&lan-e to Leo# an* ha* ta;en a shot-in-the-*ar; 6uess at the se-ret /llie ha* &een misera&ly -lut-hin6 to hersel:. 9he ;ne8. BWell# 8ell# 8ell. No8 there@s one :or the &oo;s. 9o this 8as the reason :or Leo@s su**en *ash to 6et over here. 4i* you -onta-t him? Try to &la-;mail him? Oh *ear# that 8oul*n@t have thrille* him. Not at all.B 9he lau6he* 8ith mali-ious *eli6ht at the im(li-ations e ten*in6 in :ront o: her li;e a river o: (ossi&ilities. BA *i* nothin6 o: the sort#B /llie 6as(e*. 9he s-oo(e* William u( :rom the 6roun* an* hu66e* him to her. BNo8 6o.B BO: -ourse. A 8oul*n@t *ream o: ;ee(in6 you :urther.B The smile 8as still there# still (romisin6 all sorts o: mis-hie: as Caroline 8al;e* slo8ly to8ar* the :ront *oor. BWell# A must say# 8e may no lon6er &e Ne8 7or;@s :airy-tale 6ol*en -ou(le# &ut -B she o(ene* the *oor sli6htly# 8hile -ontinuin6 to a::or* /llie her malevolent amusement B- i: it ha* to -ome to an en*# then A really -oul*n@t have ima6ine* a more *ramati- 8ay :or it to *o so....B B3n* 8hat 8ay 8oul* that &e?B The voi-e that startle* them &oth 8as so:t# *an6erous# an* very male an* :ille* /llie 8ith su-h (araly!in6 *rea* that she :elt her arms trem&le -onvulsively aroun* her son.

BAnto the ;it-hen# *arlin6#B she 8his(ere*# settin6 him on the 6roun*# snat-hin6 her 8in*o8 o: o((ortunity as Caroline an* Leo e -han6e* 8or*s that she -oul* only 6uess at. BClay 8ith your tru-;s :or a little 8hile an* Dummy 8ill 6ive you a -ho-olate 8hen she -omes in.B When she strai6htene* &a-; u(# it 8as 8ith the one 8ish that Caroline 8as still there# o*ious thou6h she 8as. =ust another a*ult 8ho mi6ht *ilute the inevita&le. 2er eyes sli* in (ani- u( to Leo@s :a-e. 2is ;iller loo;s still ha* the a&ility to shoot ri6ht throu6h her an* an-hor her to the s(ot. What ha* Caroline sai*? 2a* she tol* him? 9urely she ha* not &een there lon6 enou6h to *o that :inal (ie-e o: *ama6e. <ut then she -oul* see the ans8er. 2is e (ression 8as still# &ut it 8as 8ith the stillness that -omes &e:ore a storm. BWhat are you *oin6 here?B she :inally as;e* 8ea;ly. B9omethin6 to tell me# /llie?B 2e too; a :e8 ste(s -loser to her. BA ho(e not. A sin-erely ho(e that 8hat Caroline >ust sai* 8as nothin6 more than the 8or*s o: a s-orne* 8oman.B /llie -lose* her eyes &rie:ly an* inhale*. BA...A 8as 6oin6 to tell you#B she 8his(ere*. BJoin6 to tell me...8hat?B 3 :e8 more ste(s. No8 he 8as stan*in6 *ire-tly in :ront o: her. 9he -oul* &reathe him in# -oul* smell that uni*enti:ia&le s-ent that 8as all him# a -lean# mas-uline# ru66e* s-ent that :ille* her nostrils an* ma*e her 8ant to -olla(se. BFour years a6o...that ni6ht...B The silen-e 8as *ea:enin6. William 8as o&viously *oin6 as he ha* &een tol* 8ith the (romise o: a -ho-olate s(urrin6 him on to 6oo* &ehavior# &ut it no lon6er mattere* any8ay. BA have a -hil*.B 2is :lat statement shot strai6ht into her li;e an arro8 an* she no**e*. BA have a -hil* an* it 8as so unim(ortant a :a-t that you *e-i*e* to ;ee( it to yoursel:.B 2is mouth 8as a 6rim line an* she -oul* tell that he 8as tryin6 very har* to ;ee( his ra6e on a leash. BA... 7ou *on@t un*erstan*....B

B/nli6hten me.B BLoo;# this isn@t the (la-e or the time....B 9he 6lan-e* nervously &ehin* her an* on -ue# William a((eare* in the *oor8ay o: the ;it-hen# >ust as he ha* only minutes &e:ore. Am(e--a&le timin6. 9he turne* &a-; to Leo &ut he 8as no lon6er starin6 at her. 2is eyes 8ere all :or his son# his &la-;-haire* son 8ho 8as su-h an e Guisite -ar&on -o(y o: himsel:.... Cha(ter 9i teen 9in-e their -on:rontation in /llie@s hall8ay# time ha* (asse* in a &lur o: misery an* -on:usion. There ha* &een no -han-e :or them to tal; at that time# althou6h the (artin6 6lan-e :rom Leo ha* (romise* that tal; 8oul* -ome soon enou6h# an* she 8oul* not li;e 8hat he ha* to say. 3n* no8# here she 8as# a mere one *ay later# 8aitin6 in the same sittin6 room 8here she ha* 8at-he* Leo 8ith his son. William 8as 8ith =enny. The (romise* tal; 8as only a matter o: minutes a8ay. The rin6 o: the *oor&ell ma*e her sti::en in the -hair :or a :e8 moments# then she 8al;e* 8ith *ea*ene* :eet to8ar* the *oor an* (ulle* it o(en. BCome in.B BLoo; at me#B Leo -omman*e*# as she turne* her &a-; to him# (re-e*in6 him into the sittin6 room. BWhen A have this -onversation 8ith you# A 8ant to see every e (ression on your :a-e.B BA: you inten* to start threatenin6 me# Leo# then A@m 6oin6 to as; you to leave.B 9he ha* rehearse* in her hea* all the (ossi&ilities an* ha* -ome to only one -on-lusion: 9he 8oul* not &e &ro8&eaten into anythin6. Leo mi6ht &e ri-h an* (o8er:ul an* in:luential &ut he 8asn@t 6oin6 to *o anythin6 that she *i*n@t 8ant. Li;e ta;e William a8ay :rom her. That thou6ht ha* -rosse* her min* in her ni6htmarish ima6ine* s-enarios an* it ha* ma*e her si-; 8ith :ear. B7ou are in no (osition to *o any su-h thin6.B 2e sat *o8n on the -hair o((osite her an* then imme*iately stoo* &a-; u( an* &e6an (a-in6 the room# as thou6h his restless# ra6in6 ener6y sim(ly -oul*n@t &e -ontaine*. BWhy#B he as;e*# (ausin6 &y the 8in*o8 to stare *o8n at her 8ith i-y loathin6# B*i* you never -onta-t me to tell me that A ha* :athere* a -hil*?B

B<e-ause A -oul*n@tHB BCoul*n@t? Or 8oul*n@t?B BA never ;ne8 your last name. 3t least# A -oul*n@t remem&er it. Li;e A sai*# there 8as a lot A really -oul*n@t remem&er a&out that ni6ht.B B9o you say.B BAt@s the truthHB 2er eyes :lashe* an6rily at him. B3n* any8ay# 8oul* you really have a((re-iate* it i: A ha* storme* into your li:e an* in:orme* you that you 8ere 6oin6 to &e a *a**y a:ter a one-ni6ht stan*?B /llie lau6he* &itterly. BA -an@t ima6ine you 8oul* have thro8n your arms aroun* me an* 8hoo(e* 8ith >oyHB With seethin6 sel:-*is6ust# Leo thou6ht that he mi6ht (ossi&ly have *one >ust that. B3ny8ay# A -oul*n@t even i: A ha* 8ante* to.B B3n* ha* you?B he 6roun* out. B2a* A...8hat?B BWante* to tell me.B BA...B /llie lo8ere* her eyes. BAt ha* never &een an o(tion.B 2e let that 6o. B5i6ht# so let@s >ust 6o alon6 8ith this e -use o: yours :or a minute. Why the hell *i*n@t you tell me as soon as A -onta-te* you?B 3nother sur6e o: violent an6er ma*e him smash his :ist heavily on the 8in*o8 le*6e an* she >um(e*. B4i* you inten* to say anythin6 at all?B B4i* you inten* to tell me a&out your :ian-Ke?B she thre8 at him in retaliation. BOr 8as it (er:e-tly all ri6ht to slee( 8ith me 8hile you ha* another 8oman in to8?B Un*er -over o: &ein6 a (er:e-tly reasona&le a--usation# /llie hear* her >ealousy sur6e out into the o(en# an* >ealous she ha* &een. <itterly hurt# an6ry# an* 8ren-hin6ly >ealous. BThat is &esi*e the (ointHB BOh# it is# is it? At@s a -rime :or me to ;ee( William to mysel: :or a :e8 hours# to 6ive mysel: a -han-e to thin; a&out the situation# &ut it@s >ust :ine an* *an*y :or you to *o 8hatever the he-; you 8ant 8ithout any :ear o: &ein6 -riti-i!e*HB

BThis is 6ettin6 us no8here#B Leo sai* -ol*ly# (ushin6 himsel: a8ay :rom the 8in*o8 to -ontinue his restless (ro8l o: the room. BA have thou6ht a&out the situation an* A have *e-i*e* that there is only one thin6 to *o....B Cha(ter 9eventeen /llie@s hea* :loo*e* 8ith (ossi&ilities &ut only one too; root# an* it 8as the one she ha* &een mentally shyin6 a8ay :rom over the (ast :e8 hours. Leo 8ante* to ta;e his -hil* :rom her. 9he ha* 8at-he* the 8ay he ha* (laye* 8ith his son the *ay &e:ore# seen the ten*erness on his :a-e# ha* ;no8n that he 8oul* not relinGuish his hol* or even thin; t8i-e a&out the im(a-t it 8oul* have on his neatly or*ere* li:e. BWe 8ill remain marrie*. There 8ill &e no -onvenient *ivor-e# &ut you 8ill return to 3meri-a 8ith me to ta;e u( the (osition as my 8i:e an* mother to my son.B For a :e8 se-on*s# /llie 8on*ere* 8hether she ha* hear* -orre-tly# then she loo;e* at the e (ression on his :a-e an* reali!e* that she ha*. BA &e6 your (ar*on#B she sai*# ho8ever. B7ou hear* me.B Leo (i-;e* u( one o: the (i-tures o: William an* loo;e* a&sently at it# &e:ore re(la-in6 it on the shel: &y the 8in*o8. B7ou@re ma*HB BDa*? From 8here A am stan*in6# this is the only sane solution A -an see.B 2e move* to 8here she 8as sittin6 in sho-;e* nervousness an* &ent *o8n# (la-in6 his han*s sGuarely on either si*e o: her. B3n* A really *o not see your o((osition to the i*ea -onsi*erin6 that you marrie* me on-e :our years a6o on the s(ur o: the moment. A 8oul* say that this time there is all the more reason :or us to &e unite*# :or the sa;e o: our son.B BA *i*n@t ;no8 8hat A 8as *oin6H We &oth &ehave* in a silly# irres(onsi&le :ashionH We 8ere un*er the in:luen-e o: al-ohol an* s8e(t u( in the heat o: the momentHB BA tell you this no8# /llie. Dy son 8ill &e 8here A am. A *o not inten* to (lay the role o: a&sentee :ather# nor *o A inten* to -onveniently *ivor-e you so that you -an return to your li:e as sin6le mother# stru66lin6 to ma;e en*s meet.B BA *o not stru66le to ma;e en*s meet# Leo.B

BThere 8ill &e no ar6ument on this su&>e-t.B B3n* 8hat 8ill you *o i: A re:use?B 9he :elt as i: she 8as literally -ho;in6# 8ith his :a-e thrust so a66ressively -lose to hers. The im(a-t o: his (ro imity 8as so intense that it 8as almost li;e a (hysi-al :or-e (ushin6 her &a-; into the -ushione* -hair. BFi6ht you every in-h o: the 8ay.B B7ou 8oul*n@t stan* a ho(e in hellHB she retorte*# sGuashin6 the thou6ht that he mi6ht >ust stan* more o: a -han-e than she 8as (re(are* to a*mit. BA@m his mother# he@s s(ent his 8hole li:e livin6 8ith me# here# in /n6lan*. 7ou -an@t &uy everythin6 8ith money# you ;no8.B B3h# &ut ho8 *o you thin; he 8oul* :eel 8hen he 6ets ol*er an* he *is-overs that his mother ;no8in6ly *enie* him the o((ortunity to &e 8ith &oth his (arents# that his :ather 8as (re(are* to loo; a:ter you &oth# &ut :or (urely sel:ish reasons you *e-i*e* to turn your &a-; on the su66estion an* -arry a hel(less in:ant alon6 8ith you :or the ri*e. Will he love you :or that? Day&e not....B B7ou...you...B 2er eyes &la!e* hel(lessly into his an* slo8ly his e (ression -han6e*. 2e lo8ere* his eyes# 6ivin6 her a vie8 o: :a&ulously lon6# *ar; lashes. When he loo;e* at her a6ain# there 8as a so:t# *an6erous smile (layin6 on his mouth. B<esi*es# *o you not thin; that the situation mi6ht not a-tually &e as &a* as you ima6ine? 2m?B /llie 6as(e* as he remove* one han* :rom the si*e o: the -hair to e (ertly sli*e it into the ne-; o: her shirt so that he -oul* -over her &are &reast 8ith his han*. 9he sGuirme* &ut alrea*y# *ismaye*# she -oul* :eel a trea-herous heat &e6in to rush throu6h her &o*y. When he &e6an to stro;e the ti6ht &u* o: her ni((le# all she -oul* *o 8as 6roan. 9he nee*e* to -lear her hea* &ut ho8# 8hen her &o*y 8as alrea*y sli((in6 *o8n the -hair# (re(arin6 itsel: e -ite*ly :or a tou-h she ;ne8 she -rave*.... Cha(ter /i6hteen Their lovema;in6 8as as 6entle as a summer &ree!e# even thou6h /llie ;ne8 that it ha* only &een initiate* &y Leo to (rove a (oint# to sho8 her that at

least# :or a 8hile# i: she a6ree* to live 8ith him as his 8i:e# then she -oul* &an; on a :ul:illin6 se li:e i: nothin6 else. 2e un*i* the &uttons o: her &louse an* :eathere* her &reasts 8ith ;isses. 2e -u((e* them in his han*s an* rolle* his thum&s over her ni((les until she 8as (antin6 an* (o8erless. Then he -are:ully un!i((e* her >eans an* tu66e* them *o8n. 9he *i* nothin6 to sto( him. 9he >ust remaine* :everishly s(ra8le* in an attitu*e o: shameless a&an*on# allo8in6 him to *ivest her o: her un*er8ear# to (art her le6s so that he -oul* 6ently an* lin6erin6ly sam(le 8ith his e (lorin6 ton6ue the honeye* moistness 8aitin6 :or him there. 2er arms ha* :lo((e* over the si*es o: the -hair an* she 8at-he* :rom un*er her lashes as he 6ot ri* o: his o8n -lothes# then she rea-he* u( an* (ulle* him to8ar* her so that he -oul* sli*e *ee( into her# :ill her u(# move until her &o*y heave* an* shu**ere* a6ainst his. BThere is this# my *arlin6#B he murmure*# a:ter he ha* -arrie* her to the :ull-len6th so:a so that they -oul* lie ent8ine*. Dy *arlin6? A: only... BAt@s not enou6h. 9e is never enou6h 8hen it -omes to marria6e. 9e ...*isa((ears.B 9he 6ave voi-e to the Guestion that ha* &een na66in6 *ully at the &a-; o: her min*. BWhat a&out...Caroline?B BWe are :inishe*.B BA 6athere* that...&ut 8hy? 7ou ;ne8 that A 8oul* *ivor-e you# that that (ie-e o: (a(er 8as >ust a :ormalityHB BThat is not 8hy A :inishe* 8ith her.B Leo :elt himsel: :lush. BThen 8hy?B /llie (resse*. BAt 8as an arran6ement#B he sai* shortly. BWhat ;in* o: an arran6ement?B BAt suite* the &oth o: us at the time. Let us not *is-uss it.B BWhy not?B Leo si6he* 8ith e as(eration &ut 6ave in. BAt 8as sim(ly somethin6 that seeme* a 6oo* i*ea at the time.B BLi;e us 6ettin6 marrie* :our years a6o# you mean?B

BNo# not li;e that.B Not li;e that at all# he thou6ht rue:ully. That ha* &een a&out love# 8hi-h 8as 8hy 6ivin6 this 8oman u(# 8ith or 8ithout the a**e* &ene:it o: havin6 a -hil*# 8as out o: the Guestion. 2e 8oul* tea-h her to love him an* they alrea*y ha* a s(rin6&oar*. Chysi-ally# they slotte* to6ether as neatly as a han* in a 6love. B3n* 8hat are you (ro(osin6 to me no8# Leo# i: not another ;in* o: arran6ement?B 2er voi-e 8as sa* &ut 6entle. B7ou are not -om(arin6 li;e 8ith li;e.B B4i::erent situation# a*mitte*ly# &ut the net result is almost the same.B 3n* the :a-t that he -oul* even have -ontem(late* marryin6 a 8oman as a sort o: &usiness *eal le:t her in no *ou&t that love an* marria6e *i* not 6o han* in han* :or him. <ut she love* him. 2o8 -oul* she live as 8i:e to a man 8ho *i*n@t love her &a-;? BLoo;# Leo#B she sai* 6ently# BA -an@t -ome &a-; 8ith you# an* &e:ore you >um( in an* start &ello8in6 at me# A@ll tell you strai6ht o:: that you -an s(en* as mu-h time as you 8oul* li;e 8ith William. A@ll never sto( you. A ;no8 it@ll &e a &it tri-;y 8ith you livin6 on the other si*e o: the 8orl*# &ut you must -ome over here on &usiness :airly o:ten an* you -an -ome an* see him then# no nee* to 6ive me any noti-e at all. 3n* o: -ourse# 8hen he 6ets ol*er# he -an -ome a-ross an* see you. 2e -an travel as an una--om(anie* minor.B BWhy 8on@t you &e-ome my 8i:e? An the :ull sense o: the 8or*?B /llie hear* the auto-rati- *eman* in his Guestion 8ith a sin;in6 heart. <e-ause A love you too mu-h to su&>e-t mysel: to a loveless union. B<e-ause 8e *on@t love one another#B she sai* sim(ly. Cha(ter Nineteen BA -oul* :i6ht you.B /llie ;ne8 Leo 8oul*n@t. 2e 8oul* never have *reame* o: *oin6 any su-h thin6. B7ou 8oul* lose.B B4i* you ever...thin; o: me?B The Guestion >um(e* out at her an* ;no-;e* her :or a loo(. /llie :elt a so:t

:lush -ree(in6 into her -hee;s. 7es# she ha* thou6ht o: him. 9he ha*n@t reali!e* ho8 mu-h until no8# that she ha* seen him a6ain. Un-ons-iously# she ha* -om(are* every man she ha* met to him an* ha* :oun* them all 8antin6. Lo6i- ha* hel(e* to ;ee( a8ay the *emons &ut emotions# hi**en *ee( *o8n# ha* never o&eye* lo6i-. BWell...yes# o: -ourse. A mean# you 8ere...my :irst lover# Leo. At 8as only natural....B B<ut asi*e :rom that...B 9he -oul* :eel the -onversation 6ettin6 into tri-;y 8aters# 8aters 8ith enou6h un*er-urrents to *ra6 her *o8n. B3n* then 8hen A 6ot (re6nant#B she -arrie* on Gui-;ly# BA -oul*n@t hel( &ut thin; o: you. 7ou 8ere the :ather o: my -hil*. <ut there 8as no means o: 6ettin6 in tou-h 8ith you an* &esi*es# A@ve rea* enou6h to ;no8 that the last thin6 most men 8ant is to &e en-um&ere* 8ith a &a&y. /s(e-ially you.B BWhy es(e-ially me?B B<e-ause you ha* your 8hole -areer ahea* o: you. 7ou 8ere &ri6ht an* talente* an* 8ealthy. 3 &a&y 8oul* have &een li;e a -hain roun* your an;les :or a man li;e you.B B3n* it 8asn@t :or you?B BA...A@ve never on-e re6rette* havin6 William.B <e-ause# she no8 reali!e*# he ha* al8ays &een her -onstant remin*er o: the love she ha* lost. B7ou have ha* three years# more# o: our son. 4o you not thin; that A *eserve the -han-e to &e a :ather?B 2e 8oul* remain here until the -o8s -ame home# *rummin6 every reason he -oul* thin; o: into her hea*# &ut she 8asn@t 6oin6 to 6et a8ay :rom him a6ain. 2e :elt that in his &ones# an unsha;a&le truth. BO: -ourse you *oH 3n* li;e A sai*...B BA -oul* have the >o& (art-time. A ;no8 8hat you sai*.B BThat@s not 8hat A meant....B B3n* 8hat 8hen you :in* someone else? 4oes my (art-time role 6et re*u-e* to nothin6? Will my son 6et use* to -allin6 some other man 4a*? 3n* 8hat a&out :inan-ial -onsi*erations? 4o you not thin; that A mi6ht 8ant to su((ort my son? Jive him thin6s? Wat-h him 6ro8?B

B7es# A su((ose....B The un*er-urrents 8ere &a-; a6ain# this time in a *i::erent :ormat# an* /llie :ro8ne* as she trie* to se(arate the stran*s o: -on:use* thou6hts runnin6 throu6h her hea*. B2o8 -an A 8at-h my son 6ro8 :rom thousan*s o: miles a8ay# a-ross the 3tlanti-?B B7ou *on@t 8ant me as your 8i:eHB /llie (roteste*. B7ou *i*n@t tra-; me *o8n to tell me that you love me an* that you still 8ante* meH 7ou tra-;e* me *o8n to 6et a *ivor-e so that you -oul* marry someone elseHB BThat@s true#B Leo a*mitte* ur6ently# B&ut...B B<ut 8hat? 7ou@ve only -han6e* your min* &e-ause o: WilliamHB BA &ro;e it o:: 8ith Caroline &e:ore A ;ne8 that William even e iste*.B B7es# &ut...B B3n* 8hy *o you thin; that is?B B<e-ause...B 2o(e sent u( a :e8 tentative shoots# 8hi-h /llie stal8artly trie* to i6nore. B<e-ause?B he (rom(te* so:tly. BFollo8 the thou6ht# /llie# an* tell me 8hat you :in*....B Cha(ter T8enty /llie :ell silent an* 8at-he* Leo# not *arin6 to ho(e. BWhy *o you thin; A marrie* you :our years a6o?B B<e-ause you 6ot -arrie* a8ay 8ith the e -itement o: the Ne8 7ear a((roa-hin6 an* the e -itement o: &ein6 in Las Fe6as an* you@* ha* a little too mu-h to *rin;....B BAt 8asn@t the :irst time A ha* &een in Las Fe6as#B Leo tol* her# s(ea;in6 slo8ly an* -are:ully an* ta;in6 his time &e-ause he 8as not 6oin6 to allo8 (ri*e to alter a 8or* he ha* to say. B3n* it -ertainly 8as not the :irst time A ha* atten*e* an e trava6ant Ne8 7ear@s /ve -ele&ration. Carry on 8ith your e (lanation.B B7ou 8eren@t in -om(lete -ontrol...neither o: us 8ere....B BA 8as in su::i-ient -ontrol to arran6e a limo to ta;e us to 6et the

marria6e li-ense an* then on to that ri*i-ulous *rive-throu6h a::air. 9o 6o on....B BWhy then?B 9he seeme* to &e hol*in6 her &reath in hea*y e (e-tation o: an ans8er she >ust ;ne8 8asn@t 6oin6 to -ome. B4o you remem&er 8hat A tol* you that ni6ht? What A tol* you on several o--asions# in :a-t# *urin6 the -ourse o: the time 8e 8ere to6ether?B BWell...you sai* that you love* me.B /llie lau6he* Gui-;ly# rushin6 in to *ismiss the (ossi&ility that that love still e iste*# &ut the 6ravity o: his e (ression sent all her im(ulses ra-in6 8il*ly throu6h her. BA sa8 you an* you too; my &reath a8ay. A tal;e* to you an* A :elt li;e A ha* never :elt 8ith any other 8oman in my li:e &e:ore# an* there ha* &een many.B 2e sli* his :in6ers throu6h her hair an* hel* them there so that the 8armth o: his han* (resse* a6ainst her s-al(. B7ou en-hante* me an* A :ell in love 8ith you. At 8as no 6ame :or me. A marrie* you &e-ause A 8ante* to. Can you ima6ine ho8 A :elt 8hen A 8o;e u( to :in* that you ha* *isa((eare*? A trie* to tra-; you *o8n &ut all roa*s le* to a &ri-; 8all an* :or the (ast :our years A no8 see that A 8as in8ar*ly ra6in6. Caroline 8as my s-re8e*-u( attem(t to ;ill the (ast an* A ;no8 that no8. When A sa8 your (i-ture in the ne8s(a(er# rea* your name# ;ne8 that at last A -oul* :in* you# all the ol* emotions -ame to the :ront a6ain# an* then A sa8 you. 7ou still too; my &reath a8ay. A tal;e* to you an* you :ille* my soul u( >ust li;e you *i* all that time a6o# s8e(t a8ay all the -yni-ism that A ha* &uilt u( a&out the institution o: marria6e. That@s 8hen A ;ne8 that A ha* to &rea; it o:: 8ith Caroline.B /llie :elt as thou6h she mi6ht :aint at any moment. Was that 8hat it :elt li;e 8hen *reams -ome true? BA trie* to hate you 8hen A reali!e* that your &om&shell 8as :ar &i66er than mine ha* &een# &ut in the en*# all A -oul* thin; 8as that A ha* my 8i:e an* a son. That@s 8hy A 8ant you to -ome &a-; 8ith me# /llie. <e-ause A 8ant you. A 8ant to 8a;e u( to your 6lorious :a-e every mornin6# A 8ant to have my son 8ith &oth o: us# A 8ant you to have more &a&ies :or me...an* i: you *on@t love me no8# then you -an learn to. A -an tea-h you....B There# he ha* lai* his heart on the line an* he 8at-he* her :a-e an iously# not Guite ;no8in6 8hat he 8oul* *o i: she re>e-te* him a6ain. Then she smile* an* her smile sai* it all. BA@ve &een 8aitin6....B /llie murmure*. BA 8as 8aitin6 all my li:e to meet you an* then A *i*# an* A@ve s(ent the (ast :our years in a va-uum# 8aitin6 :or you to -ome &a-;# not even reali!in6 it. Dy *arlin6# A@m so 6la* you@ve

returne*....B B7ou love me.B There 8as :ier-e >oy in the statement an* it intensi:ie* 8hen she no**e* her hea*. BDy *arlin6#B he sai* sha;ily# ;issin6 her 6ently on her mouth# Bour lives &e6in ri6ht no8....B The /n* MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMM Converte* &y an unre6istere* version o: 4eta66er +., Fisit htt(://888.>a:so:t.-om/*eta66er/ This T/0T1FOOT/5 -an &e -ustomise* or remove* in the re6istere* version MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMM