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CUTURAL DIFFERENCES IN MATE SELECTION In many societies, mating patterns differ across cultures and vary at different periods

of history. It is believed that in some societies, love is an essential precondition for marriage, which implies that when individuals fall in love, they get married. It is impossible to imagine a marriage without love. In the Western societies, such as America, Canada and Europe, free-choice mate selection tends to be very common, whereby individuals are expected to choose their own mates. In traditional societies, such as India and China, love and personal choice are not the norm. In such societies, marriages are arranged by family members. The traditional societies are considered to be collectivist ones whereas the Western societies are known as individualistic ones. Studies have found that in individualistic societies, people place a lot of emphasis on love. The age-old practice of mate selection by parents is considered to be out of fashion. However, many traditional societies reject love, and marriages are arranged by elder members of the family. Marriage is often treated as an alliance between two families. In collectivist societies, the choice of a mate is based on factors like the girls good character, domestic skills and the boys socio-economic status and his educational level. In India, marriage has always been considered as a sacred institution and a religious contract. A few years ago, children did not even have a voice in arranged marriages. Today, the situation has changed to some extent. Boys
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and girls have a greater say in the matter and they are given a chance to see each other a few times. They can always say no if they dont like the person presented to them. 6.4 MATE SELECTION PROCEDURES IN THE MARKET STRUCTURE OF MARRIAGE Historically, there are three general approaches to choosing ones mate: 1. Marriage by Capture, 2. Marriage by Arrangement and 3. Free-Choice Mate Selection. 1. Marriage by Capture In patriarchal societies, women were often considered as a private property. In the history of mankind, men have been taking women by force in many places, although this is not the usual method of obtaining a wife. It is reported that: Often women were seized as part of the spoils of war, and other times a specific woman was forced into marriage because the man wanted her and could not afford the brideprice or obtain the permission of her parents. [Fielding, 1942, in Macionis & Benokraitis, 1997, pg. 320]
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2. Marriage by Arrangement Marriage by arrangement is considered to be the most common method of mate selection especially when extended kin groups are important and strong. Parents often choose the spouse for their child with the help of some relatives or professional matchmakers. Parents try to match their child with a partner of a similar background and status. The arranged marriage is more of a union between two families than two people and romantic love is not necessarily present between the marriage partners. [Browne, 1992, pg.213]. According to Ingoldsby (1995) arranged marriages have been considered especially important for the rulers of kingdoms and other mobility. Care had to be taken to preserve bloodlines, enhance

wealth and resolve political issues [Macionis & Benokraitis, 1997, pg.321]. The notion of arranged marriages strikes most Westerners as barbaric. However, in a study of couples in Jaipur (India), researchers namely, Gupta & Singh (1982) have revealed that: in arranged marriages, the couples romantic attachment to one another grew over the years, whereas couples who married for love reported that their attraction to one another dropped precipitously after the first two to five years of marriage. Couples who marry for love may become disillusioned when the romance fades.
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Moreover, in societies where arranged marriage prevails, Stephens (1963) identifies four major features which are closely associated with this type of marriage arrangement. a) Price The grooms family may need to pay for the bride, with either money or labour. However, in some cultures, the situation is reversed, the brides family pays a dowry to the husband. In some other cases, a direct exchange is involved, where both families make payments to each other or simply trade women for each others sons. Dowry A dowry is a sum of money or property brought to the marriage by the girl. It is given by her family, but to whom it is given varies from one culture to another [Goode, 1994, pg.57] Dowry has existed for along time. Ancient Greece and Rome have regarded the dowry to be essential in any honorable marriage. The dowry appears to be an inducement for a man to marry a particular woman and therefore relieve her family of the financial burden of caring for her. The purpose of a dowry is to stabilise a marriage, because it is not given to the husband but is something that the bride brings with her into the marriage. It is nevertheless, a sign of culture that places a low value on women. Bride Price In contrast to the dowry is the bride price, which is commonly called bride wealth. It refers to the sum of money, goods or cattle given to the family of the bride and this forms part of the marriage process. [Goode, 1994, pg.58]
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Throughout human history, marriage has been seen as being mainly an economic transaction. The purpose of a bride price is to compensate the family of the bride for the loss of her services. It is common and indicative of the value of women in those societies. [Macionis & Benokraitis, 1997, pg.322] The price that a man pays to marry a woman is usually paid in terms animals, shell money, or other valuable commodities and often exceeds ones annual income. It can be added that in some cultures, payment in service is preferred. This is often in terms of years of labour to the brides parents. b) Social status is an important factor in arranged marriages. This implies that the social status of the family from which the spouse for ones child or daughter will come is very important. c) A continuous marriage arrangement is a third factor which refers to a set of pattern for mate selection, which is carried on from generation to generation. d) Sororate and levirate arrangements are the final criteria for mate choice. They refer

to second marriages and tend to be based on bride price obligations. Sororate and levirate are terms which refer to marriage practices designed to control remarriages after the death of the first spouse. A sister replaces a deceased wife in cultures that practise the sororate. We shall see in the following example how marriage is more of an economic transaction rather than a personal relationship. It is assumed that if a man has paid a good bride price for his wife and later when she dies, he loses not only his wife but the bride price as well. In order to compensate for the original bargain, the parents who received the bride price, provide the man with a new wife. The new wife may be an unmarried sister or any other close relative of the first wife.
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The system of levirate is widely practised among the New Caledonians, the Mongols, the Afghans, the Abyssinians, the Hebrews and the Hindus as well as certain Native American and African tribes. Under this system, if the husband dies, it is the wife who must be married to a brother of the deceased man.

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