Building Relationships

Chapter 6

Relationships
People have expectations

They follow cultural rules

RELATIONSHIPS: CHINA & AMERICA

TWO YEARS AGO I DIDNT UNDERSTAND NOW, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND MUCH WHO IS MORE RELATIONAL?

DOES FRIENDLY MEAN FRIENDSHIP?

CHINA: MORE DEEP FRIENDSHIPS

CHINA: MORE EXPECTATIONS OF FRIENDS

Western VS Chinese
CONTACTS / RELATIONSHIPS

RELATIONSHIPS
FRIENDSHIP

ROMANCE
TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS
CONNECTIONS
OBLIGATIONS GIFT-GIVING

Friendship Obligations
How do you make friends?

What does a good friend

look like?

What do friends do for each

other?

Discussion Activity A
Turn to page 104-105 Read Are you mad at me? Do questions 1-4 in your group.

Chinese might

Expect from their friends

Friends will stay friends vvvvv

A few close friends VVVVV Both will do things for each other nnn Friends share things and give direct advice ccccccccccc Friends provide connections for friends

American Expectations of Friends..

Independent, rather than dependent
See each other a lot

-Often because involved in similar activities

Friends usually have similar finances & status Seek emotional support & to spend time

together
Do NOT expect direct advice

Question of Romance

American

Chinese
Dating: romantic xyz Marriage: practical

Dating: not necessarily romantic Marriage: romantic

Question of Romance
Do you think it is difficult for people of different cultures to

get married? Why or why not?

Do you think it would be harder for a: Chinese man or a Chinese woman to marry into a different culture? Why?

AMERICAN RELATIONSHIPS (adapted

from Cultural Intelligence by Brooks Peterson)
OTHERS OTHER GROUPS MY GROUPS
CLOSE FRIENDS & COLLEAGUES PERSONAL IDENTITY MY RIGHTS FRIENDS

SELF

GROUP- FOCUS RELATIONSHIPS: South America, Africa

OTHERS
MY GROUPS SELF
Other groups strangers CLOSE FRIENDS & COLLEAGUES Identity in groups

CHINESE (East Asia) RELATIONSHIPS different from other collectivist cultures

OTHERS PARTNERS MY GROUPS SELF

OUTSIDERS HONORED GUESTS BUSINESS PARTNERS

INSIDERS

CHINESE RELATIONSHIP EXPECTATIONS

OTHERS PARTNERS MY GROUPS SELF
FEW OBLIGATIONS HONOR/ ETIQUETTE MANY OBLIGATIONS

SACRIFICE SELF FOR GROUP

Are westerners friendly?

A common misunderstanding of this lesson is that all

westerners do not form relationships or have friends. Westerners tend to have more distant friends and fewer (perhaps none) really close friends But these friendships are real
They are selfish and self-centered

Of course, some people in every culture are selfish and self-centered But many Westerners are very empathetic and generous even to strangers
Not true!

Are westerners friendly?

A common misunderstanding of this lesson is that all

westerners do not form relationships or have friends. Westerners tend to have more distant friends and fewer (perhaps none) really close friends But these friendships are real
They are selfish and self-centered Of course, some people in every culture are selfish

and self-centered But many Westerners are very empathetic and generous even to strangers
Not true!

Connections: Valuable contacts based on relationships

Importance of Connections
Westerners use personal connections less Its not who you know but what you know
Asians use connections more Relationship = connection! Connections can help with chances for

getting a job,
but can also hurt chances for getting a job.

OBLIGATIONS: Expectations to help another based on relationships

Social Obligations
Guanxi in China What does Guanxi

mean?
relationships

Relationships with

obligations

Social Obligations
Guanxi (from dictionary.com) a Chinese social concept based on the exchange of favors, in which personal relationships are considered more important than laws and written agreements

Social Obligations
Guanxi in China, is a form of

currency
Social Debts (favors owed) Social Credits (favors expected)

Social Obligations
In other cultures it may be called

Patrn- Client Relationship

Somewhat different

Social Obligations
In other cultures it may be called

Patrn- Client Relationship

Somewhat different

Less common in the West Westerners dont understand

Westerners see problems

Social Obligations
Guanxi
Good points?

Problems?
Discussion activity Who are you trying to fool? pages 114-115, questions 1-4

Relationships & connections in the west

Mentoring, networking = relationships but with

no expectations of helping each other

Giving preference to family or close friends in

hiring is against the rules

In some companies, hiring members of the same

family is not allowed

But small help to friends is permitted: Put in a good word for somebody Pull a few strings cash in your chips

Words I have not said in this class

before
Lunch with students A joke: offer of money

Gifts
Why do you give gifts? Because you must? You like to shop?

Get a better grade?

Who do you give gifts to?

Do you expect a gift or favor of equal value

in return for your gift?

Reciprocity

Gifts

Western Pattern of Gift Giving

If you give me a gift, I should give you one. Way of saying thanks for invitation or favor