Brok en Pieces Of Me

By:K eshia M ckin nie

“I 'v e le ar ne d tha t ev er yone want s t o l ive on
to p o f th e mo unta in , b ut all the h appi ness an d
gr ow th o ccu rs wh il e you'r e cli mb li ng it ”
 Table O f Con ten ts

● I' m Sor ry
● Em ot io ns
● WTF
● Lik e an Ea gl e
● Fallin
● My Baby Tells Me
● Jac k Da nie l
● Sweet Dr eams
● Lik e Ma gi c
● La ughi n at You !
● It 's Me
● My Cl yde
● Wh at I'v e Been Wait in g For
● Sp in Cy cle
● My Pl ace
● Fell In l ove Wi th a Bo y
● Ev ery one i s A Fr ie nd Ti ll They Prove
Ot herw ise
● 4 Gir ls
Thi s co llec ti on of wor k was writ tin at a t ime in
my l if e th at I had to li ve in or de r t o l ea rn . I
know it sou nds “ cl ich e”, but it i s so tr ue! In
th at ti me , I gai ned f rie nd s an d l ost plen ty. It
was a pa rt o f gr ow in g u p an d mo ving on. Th is
wo rk was wr it te n from my hea rt and so ul. I
hope my wo rds will hel p a nd maybe en co ur ag e
ot hers to fac e w ha tev er p rob lems co me alo ng
in lif e.
 I' m S orry
I know it's gonna be hard
but I want what we had
thses long days of silence
are making me mad
I know I hurt you
broke your heart
there are no excuses
I just want to try again with a new start
No more games, no more lies
I wanna be with you
for the rest of my life
Things haven't been the same
I know i'm to blame
I was at a different place
I wasn't thinkin straight
to be real
I forgot how to feel
you wern't lovin me
and treatin me right
yo ignored me so...
I found somebody I thought just might
show me some love
show me they care
didn't realize I should of tried and fix what was already there
It was right in front of me
you
me
we were a team
I lost your trust
lost your respect
I almost gave up on us
but i'm not finished yet
You chose to stay
and i'm thankful for that
I love you and I'm sorry
for each tear you shed
lets move forward now
leave the past in the past
you are my boo
 our love...
we can make it last

Emotions
If I show u emotions that means I still care
The fact that I ignore you and laugh in your face
Just tells you I'm through
I wouldn't give you the time of day
even if it was for a dare
You mean nothing to me
Why can't you see
The day you fucked up
Is the day I opened my eyes
and woke up
You were never my friend
only wanted to see my demise
I could always tell...
with my stories of happiness
you wanted me to fall
your heart was filled with envy
for what
I can't explain
I was always there for you bitch
when that nigga had your heart in pain
it's cool now
the feelings are gone
I'm doing me now
I hope you're doing the same
Just know that the emotions are gone
when i see your face
i just think and remember
a time when i gave you a place
a place in my heart
You didn't deserve it
not even from the start
I gave you your chance
You are released now
Your petty shit don't stand a chance
This is my final goodbye
you see, after all your shit
I still survived
you'll get your day
find the next bitch to fuck over
 cause the emotions you want from me
don't exist

WTF
WTF am I doing here
As I come to a realization
on this love
and how it has bought me
to this sad and long, and what seems like a final destination
WTF
I don't deserve this shit
How the fuck did I get myself into this I've realized that our lives will never come together
That hurts
But we come from two differnt worlds
and it will never work
All I wanted was to be loved
and you just worried bout hangin out
with them fake ass thugs
Thats alright
I'll move on
It may be hard
but one day I know I will move on...
to something better
But for now i'm stuck
I need you
Just a arm to lean on
like a cane
and just like a person on a cane
i'm tryna get better
Just remember...
I wont need a cane 4eva
WTF
 Lik e an Eagle
I will soar like a eagle
no mater what you may think
yea i've fucked up and made my mistakes
but its a new day
and i'm a new me
my light is shing bright now
no shade tryna cover my glow
I guess you have to live and hurt a little
in order love and let go
That's exactly what i've done
new memories have begun
no time to linger in the past
What was done is done
that past is the past!!
 Fal lin
She cant take it anymore
she's fallen to her knees
Her body is feelin weak
Like an old twig on a tree
No longer can she hold up her face
The one that smiles at people
and tells em she's doin okay
She tells em she's fine
and she's on top of her game
On the outside lookin in
you would think the same
Good job, new clothes, money and cars
What more could she want
If you really looked in
you could never understand
Her other face she has
is strained with pain
Never feelin like her love is enough
Waiting for somebody to be there for her
When HER shit gets tough
Thinkin bout the ones she shows love
Wishin they could return it instead
of draggin her heart thru the mud
Her other face would break your heart
Never have you seen anything
so sad...
so dark...
Like a bottomless pit with no way out
She's looking for a shovel
trying desperately to find her way out
There's nowhere to go
The pain is too deep
There's nowhere to go
No one to hear her muffled screams
She's screaming for change
Screaming for the lord to come
and take her pain away
They fall on deaf ears
She falls to her knees...
The pain is easing now...
who would have known
that this now empty pill bottle
 would help her find...
her everlasting peace

My B aby T ells Me
My Baby tells me that
its nice and round
the perfect shade of brown
it sits just right
under the arch of my back
It's soft to the touch
Thats why he loves it so much
He knows he better hold on tight
When I back it on up
It hypmotize minds
On the dancefloor he can't take it
It gets a mind of its own
when it start to bouncin and shakin
It's known to turn heads
them boys, they try and holla
I smile and tell em its taken
and let em know...i get it from my mama
I wanna thank my mama for this pretty round brown
My baby cant get enuff
He likes to kiss it
he likes to rub it
and all kinds of crazy stuff!
Thats good enuff for me
This round brown is all by baby needs
you c it don't just benefit me
It fufills all my mans needs!
 Ja ck Daniel
It's been a long day
You need to relax
At work, they gave you 10 hours
nothing fair every comes you way
Another problem, afraid to solve em
You take comfort with Jack
He'll ease your mind
He always does
One problem, two problems
Will you look at that!
With Jack, they leave your mind
and disaper like a magic act.
But thats not enough
Jacks the weak stuff
it's only a matter of time that you'll finish with Jack
and find another kind
By now your friends are leavin
Jack made you happy
But now he got you cussin and screamin
They don't know what happened
its hard for them to stay
and look at your once beautiful but now bloated face
There's nothing they can say
cause Jacks the only way
Another problem, afraid to solve em
maybe you will anotha day
 Sweet Dr eams
Emaculatley polished
he walks through the place
Rugged good looks and Timberland boots
He caught me looking with a sexy smirk on my face
He looks right at me
my legs get weak
He flashes a smile
sending sparks between my knees
He walks closer to me
My heart skips a beat
Damn, he got me trippin!
What will I say What will I do?
I just met this man
What will he think of me?
What the hell!
Men do it too
Imma just keep it safe
and make it do what it do
I want this man
to feel him inside of me
touching my walls
taking him deeper than the red sea
I want him on top of me now
in...out...in...out
he's found his pace
I want him to slow down
so I can take his place
I wanna slowly climb on top
and kiss his chest
Then ride this man
like im in the final lap
of the Kentucky Derby Race
Ooh baby yeah...I found my spot
Got me all caught up
Didn't know he had stopped
I'm not finished yet
Had me wanting more
I snap right out of it
out of breath and in shock
my hot dream has become a nightmare
Making my sweet dream suddenly stop.
 Lik e Magic
This pen becomes magic
as these words flow from my head
down thru my arm
thru this pen
I take you on a journey through my mind
I like to call "my land"
There are many stops on the way
more or less
depending on my thoughts or my mood for the day
I might take you to a place
so bright you loose sight
Watch out now
these words i'm spittin
commin at you from the left and the right
The next stop may be dark
it might get too deep
Shit, it's dark to me
and some of the shit I been thru is too deep for me.
Come join me on the trip thru "my land"
neva know what you'll see
This pen in my hand aint magic
I guess the magics in me
 LAUGHIN A T Y OU!
I laugh at these silly women
Thinkin that somehow their thoughts must consume me
They figure my world is so small
that I possibly couldn't have evolved!
I sit and laugh out loud at the words they say
Knowin I could care less about their thoughts, their opinions
Even if it was just for one day
They get no time
No time to consume my mind
I leave that space for love, and peace
Not old dramas, not old lies
These days my mind is at ease!
I've opened my eyes,
I see whose been fake, whose been true
YEAH SILLY WOMEN
I'M LAUGHIN AT YOU
 It's Me
I'm not confused
I'm not mad or angry
I know I'm fed up
but where do I go from here?
I'm not scared of being alone
in fact,
the thought seems nice
I now know where I want to go
and who I want to be
I guess the only person holding me back
and stopping things
is me
 My Cly de
He is my Clyde and I am his Bonnie
Never in my life have I felt this before
A feelin so strong I can't describe it
How he makes me feel?
just makes me excited.
Never knew another person could attach themselves to a soul
He has captured my body
from my heart down to my toes
He makes me complete
He makes me smile
this man! my Clyde!
Makes my heart jump on the insides
Without him I might as well die
There will never be another Clyde
Because I'm his Bonnie and I plan on ridin till we die!
What I'v e B een W aitin F or
It's been a long time since i've felt you here.
I see your face,
embrace your taste,
always knowing instantly that its only me that can bring a smile to your face.
Its getting warm in here as you caress my body
I feel you growing
your manhood gliding over my body
You know what I like.
You tell me if i'm a good girl... tonight
you just might...
I see you laughin
I can't take no more
I feel your breath blowing on my thigh
This feeling is taking over
I'm about to loose control
You part my lips and get started on what you came here for
You start off slow
taking your time
My sweet P is swollen now
as you lick me round and round
You hold my legs and calm me down
You take me by surprise
I feel you grindin me now
Long stroke, I love it
you haven't missed a beat
All inhibition is out the window
you suckin on my feet
When its all said and done
neva had a feelin this strong
It's been a long time coming
Next time don't make me wait so long
Sp in Cy cle
My life is like a spin cycle...
turnin me out
up and down, round and round
I can't find my way out
Whose gonna save me
Will I ever find out
it's only up to me...
i'm the only one who knows...
what i'm talking about
 My Place
I've searched high and low, far and wide for the perfect place. The place where i feel I
belong. Some people are born knowing exactly where their place is. Some search their whole
lives looking for it and never find it. There were times I felt i'd found the that "perfect place",
but deep down inside... I wasn't happy. It sent me back on my journey looking for a place
that I fit in and felt comfortable. It's been on my mind for a while now to figure it out and I
keep asking myself the same question,"What place am I talking about!" The truth is I DON"T
KNOW!!!! All I know is that in my eyes I am happy...It may not seem that way to others close
to me but, I AM.
I know what I want in life and I know where I want to end up! I may face a few road blocks
and have problems getting pass them...but I WILL! That's whats so great about me!! I will
keep it moving whether people looking from the outside in actually think so or not. I've found
that it's not my job to keep up appearances and to behave and feel how everyone think I
should. I don't have to fit in or conform to peoples standards. I know now that I didn't have
to look far to find my place because "My Place" resides in me!!
Fel l I n Lo ve W it a B oy
I fell in love with a boy
Not yet a man...
had my young ass sprung with jus the stroke of his hand
Those times were long ago, still tryna hold on,
the memories of late nights in your arms,
not wanting to go home.
You'd say good bye then I'll say see you later,
you'd pull me in your arms
and my lips you would savor...
I laugh now cause you know and I know
That shit didn't stop till 20 min. later!
I didn't care, with my curfew and all...
you were worth it.
to me, you were my heart and you were my all.
Today that still stands true.
I fell in love with a boy not yet a man...
It's been some years now
and I laugh cause some things never change
The love is still strong
although it has evolved...
We have our good days
and lord knows we've had our bad ones
but we've come to learn, that everyone has their pitfalls.
You've been there to lift me from mine
and to you the same...I try and give you my all!
I fell in love with a boy not yet a man....
I say that now because he's not just a man...
He's my man!!!
Ev ery one I s a Friend Until They
Pr ove Ot herw ise
To me, a friend is someone that has your back and will stand by your side no matter what
the circumstances. Loyalty, trust, respect...those are some of the words I live by. It hasn't
always been easy to do so, and I'm woman enough to admit it. These days a lot of people
seem to take those words for granite. People walk around not knowing who to trust. I know a
lot about that, because I'm one of those people. Every woman dreams of having that best
girlfriend that they can share their deepest most inner secrets, things they wouldn't dream of
telling just anybody. Someone to go shopping with to give you an honest opinion on the
leopard print pants you've been dying to have. Lets face it...as a female in general, it's
important to have that special someone you can lean on.

What do you do when you finally let a person in and they betray you in the worst ways??
Well I don't know the answer either and I've been trying to figure it out FOREVER!! You
know...you kind of see the signs leading up to it but you don't really acknowledge it because
you keep telling yourself that, "nooo, they wouldn't do me like that!" Well...those have been
my favorite words for so long and then....!BAM! It just hits u in the back of the head and
when you realize what's been done you're like..."Damn, I should of seen it coming!"

Do you confront the person and let them know how you feel? Do you not even bother
because if they really were your friend, they would know how you would feel after anyone
did anything as trife as they did? Or do you just let it go and leave the toxic person alone
altogether? After it happened to me, I just let the person out of my life all together...Not
before I let that B**** have it!!!! (lol)

I ask myself..."Was I wrong? Did I do something to bring this about?" NO I DIDN'T. Friends
don't back stab each other...if they have problems they work them out like women...not start
unnecessary drama!

After the dust settled from the battle..... I'm still good. I didn't stumble when I could have
failed. I am a fighter. I am blessed. I say that because even though my faith in having
friendships with women outside of my family has been slightly tarnished, I know that one day
I will have that "girlfriend" I've always wanted.
I'm not complaining now because I have friends. They've been better to me than anyone else
I've ever known. I may not act like I appreciate them at times...I am the bigger sister (lol) I
was blessed to have the most awsomest...yea awsomest!...sisters in the world. It's not
everyday that siblings can call themselves best friends. I'm thankful for them and wouldn't
trade them for the world. In the end, I thought I had friends but, they've all proven
otherwise. I'll live on....
4 Gir ls
There are alotta women in my life...I decided to write this not b/c im puttin nebody on
blast...including myself, i just hope that some will read and maybe open their eyes to wat im sayin

True Story .... ..

There were these 4 girls

Smart, beautiful, strong, independent women.
All gifted,
Until man entered their world
Had em all on they toes
had em all thinkin they found their golden ticket.

Who would have ever thought...hmph

that ticket they were gettin
was full of a bunch of lies
and a heartache that couldn't be forgiven

Now they were strong women!

Not easily broken
they tried to hold their ground
but got caught up in their emotions.

All their stories were the same

but, you couldn't tell them!
All you got was
"Unh Uh! my man and yo man aint the same!"
"Yea he make me mad and call me names...
but he'll get through it. His daddy was the same!"
He ain't like that man!
Neva will be!"

They all said the same line until one by one

they on the phone
callin each other talkin bout...
"That motherfucker just hit me!"

Now all hell breaks loose!

She don't know which side to choose
They love each other dearly but that man...
she just can't give him up that easily.

Now everybody's a judge

like they've always known right from wrong
"Girl you stupid!, You betta leave his dumb ass alone!"

They're the same ones that just the day before

was cryin and had you tellin em the same thing.
On your shoulder, through your phone!
But her shit aint the same!

These four women learned to live and try to cover their shame.
You see,
they stayed with these men
who still treated them the same

One day these women will wake up and remember,

that they are still smart, strong, and beautiful.
They will once again shine like a new candle
flickering in the night
of a cool December