Carry You Home by hgfan1111 Chapter One: Trouble Is Her Only Friend Nymphadora Tonks wat hed a large

red bus mo!e through traffi at a rather alarming rate" #he wondered if the dri!er had dri!en the $night %us in another life" &lan ing a ross the street to where her partner was on ealed as a fairly attra ti!e lamppost' she raised an eyebrow" The lamppost twinkled for a moment before dissol!ing ompletely" Tonks stood' stret hed as if she(d been sitting on the ben h for mu h longer than the ten minutes that she had' in truth' been per hed' and dis arded the )uggle newspaper that she hadn(t read" Their mark was on that )uggle bus speeding through *ondon" *u kily' Tonks had been able to get lose enough to the man to le!itate a small tra king bea on onto his lothing" Now' as long as her sti king harm held' +ldon Fuller would be simple to lo ate from the )inistry" ,)ission a omplished'- she stated as she entered the offi e of the .urors deep within the bowels of the )inistry" $ingsley #ha klebolt' newly appointed Head of the .uror /epartment' looked up from the par hment he was assessing and grinned as the young .uror ollapsed into the hair a ross from his desk" ,.nd how did )arks do0Tonks grima ed" ,Not horrid' but not great" His stealth lea!es mu h to be desired' but his transfiguration seems up to par"$ingsley(s ri h hu kle e hoed through the room" ,Tonks' if you(re the one saying his stealth te hni1ues aren(t up to par2well' then I guess he needs real help"- He laughed e!en harder when she shot him a rude gesture" ,I hate this' $ing"- Her head dropped along the ba k of the hair and she stared up at the eiling" ,I hate being bloody useless" .nd I hate that you(re holding me ba k",Tonks'- $ingsley(s tone hardened onsiderably' ,it(s not me holding you ba k" You know perfe tly well that your in3uries4, ,.re healed'- Tonks finished de isi!ely" ,It(s been two years' $ing" Think about how you would feel if someone told you that you ouldn(t do your 3ob anymore" You(d he5 them to Hades and ba k' you know it",I would'- he onfirmed" ,%ut I didn(t sustain the types of in3uries that you did",%ollo ks'- Tonks swore" ,I hate this'- she breathed out" )ostly it was the fa t that she didn(t ha!e the energy to fight the in3usti e anymore that she hated" ,It(s been two years' /ora"- Her head snapped up and she glared at her superior offi er and friend as he used a name that only a few people in the world had e!er been allowed to use: and only one of those

was still ali!e" ,6e all thought you(d be able to pull through' but2- $ingsley sighed and looked down at his hands" ,The truth is' Tonks' you ha!en(t" I know what it means to lose someone",I know that'- Tonks snapped' but her !oi e was soft and she ursed the tightness that had rept into her throat" ,6e(!e all lost someone" I know that we an(t e5pe t you to 3ust forget about 7emus",/on(t'- she flin hed" ,8ust don(t' $ing"$ingsley stood behind his desk and leaned down on his knu kles" ,)aybe you need a few days off" It(s about that time of year again4, Tonks swore 1uietly" ,I don(t need time off" I need to be away from these rookies" Find me a different assignment or I(ll 1uit"- #he stood abruptly and left the room' only pausing in her determined gait on e she was se!eral orridors away from the .uror offi e" In the darkened orridor a ross from the seldom used *aw /i!ision' Tonks allowed herself to lean against the wall and sink to the floor" Her red .uror(s robes pooled around her feet as she wrapped her arms around her knees and lay her head on them" The tears weren(t long in oming" #he hated it when e!eryone looked at her and knew" They ould tell' 3ust by looking at her" #he(d lost her heart' her life' that day two years ago in 8une" *ate at night when she was ompletely alone in an eerily 1uiet flat' she ould swear she still smelled the smoke from the battlefield" #he ould still feel the burning in her side where the utting urse sli ed her open' e!en though the wound had been nothing more than a pale' ugly s ar for a long time" .nd' e!ery on e in awhile' she would rea h out in the bed' in that ha9e halfway between sleep and awake and swore she ould feel his warmth in the bed ne5t to her" #he(d allowed other men into her bed sin e then" There was 6illis' a brief fling that lasted far too long in her opinion" There had been no relationship to speak of: both were only in it for the se5' as often as they ould both manage and without any strings atta hed" .nd then .ndy: sweet fre kle4fa ed .ndy who was far too young to be with her" #he had been' after all' his trainer and she shouldn(t ha!e done that to him" Nineteen years old and ompletely inno ent when she(d shamefully sedu ed him" That relationship had lasted longer than any others" Finally' Tonks told him to lea!e when she(d aught him wat hing her as she slept" #he(d woken to find him staring at her with a horribly lo!esi k look on his fa e" #he(d had to bite her tongue when she almost alled him 7emus" How many times had she awoken to find him in that similar position0 Far too few" .ndy had no right to be there" The guilt had o!erwhelmed her and so she(d thrown things at him and ursed at him until he(d gathered his trousers' toothbrush and rumpled .uror loak' and .pparated away wearing nothing but his bo5ers" $ingsley had put her on .dministrati!e lea!e for three weeks and .ndy had been transferred to another di!ision" .lone was better" .lone was how she liked it best" #he(d been alone before 7emus and she(d bloody

well sur!i!e alone without him" #he had family' for sure" Her mother and father in!ited her around for dinner often enough' but they(d ne!er met 7emus: they 3ust didn(t understand" The 6easleys had been wonderful" Their own losses had been staggering: ;er y' &eorge' and Harry44 all gone" .nd 7emus had been rather lose to them" They(d almost lost &inny as well" )olly he ked on Tonks often' e!en though it se retly irritated the hell out of the .uror" #he didn(t need another mother" #he knew that )olly meant well: Tonks was' after all' one of the only ones that &inny still turned to" It was ompletely natural for )olly to in lude her daughter(s best friend in all the family fun tions" %ut &inny was distant as well' held at arms length by Tonks herself" &inny had her own grief' whi h Tonks ould relate to' but ne!er fully understand" That was a different story' she affirmed as she dried her tears" #he hated it when the grief washed o!er her like this" It had been two years44two !ery long' tiring years" It was time to mo!e on" It was time to put the mask ba k in pla e and be who she was supposed to be" Tonks was only allowed to be </ora( with one person: and she wasn(t here right now" . few deep breaths later' Tonks had omposed herself enough to ast an illusion harm on her swollen eyes" #he straightened her robes' pasted the determined look of an .uror on her fa e' and made her way through the )inistry to the .trium where she ould .pparate" ,+!ening' Tonks"#he held in the grima e as she was re ogni9ed in the 1ueue for the .pparition point' and turned to smile at 7on 6easley" ,6ot her' 7on",Ha!en(t seen you around mu h'- he obser!ed with an easy smile" Tonks immediately hated that it seemed genuine and then hated herself for feeling so horrible toward someone who didn(t deser!e it" 7on had worked hard to mo!e on with his life" 8ust be ause she ouldn(t didn(t mean she should hate him for it" %ut it was hard to on!in e herself of that today" ,#omeone(s got to train all the rookies'- she smirked at him" 7on had fought ne5t to Harry during almost the entire Final %attle' only being separated at the end when Harry went after =oldemort" He and Hermione had eloped in se ret a few weeks after they(d been released from the hospital" )olly had ried for days afterwards but no one was sure whether it was be ause of the deaths or be ause none of their family had been present at 7on and Hermione(s wedding" They(d bought a run4down flat in /iagon .lley and really made into a home" Tonks had been to their pla e on a few o asions sin e and ould truly say that it was unre ogni9able" There were urtains on the windows and new paint on the walls" It was heery and homey and lean: e!erything that was the opposite of Tonks( own flat"

%oth 7on and Hermione had studied hard to earn their N"+"6"T"s and' e!en though 7on(s weren(t the best marks' he(d somehow s rat hed his way into the .uror . ademy" It had been a rough two years but he was now a fully 1ualified .uror and one of $ingsley(s fa!orites" 7on had been inter!iewed on e and had said that he had done it in his best mate(s memory" He e!en arried a bit of Harry with him during training' in the form of a lightening bolt tattoo he(d gotten on the left side of his hest" Tonks fondly remembered the row with )olly when the arti le had ome out" )olly had ob!iously ne!er known about the tattoo" Hermione was now e5pe ting their first baby: a boy it was rumored" ,I(m glad you weren(t my trainer'- 7on hu kled" ,I(d ha!e been afraid you(d ha!e made it too hard on me"Tonks grinned despite her dark thoughts" ,Too right' 6easley" )y trainees tow the line",8ust as well'- 7on shrugged" ,You ha!en(t been to a dinner re ently'- he obser!ed" There was a bit too mu h asualness in his !oi e and Tonks bit ba k a sharp reply" ,%een busy'- was all she answered" ,#een &inny lately0- 7on asked as the two mo!ed forward in the 1ueue" ,. few weeks ago'- Tonks shrugged" ,6e went to a film then out to dinner" #he seemed alright"7on nodded" ,#he(s doing well' I think44smiling more and more" #he(s dropped by to see Hermione a few times lately also",That(s good'- Tonks agreed" ,I heard that things are going well with the Foundation",%ill said so'- 7on said and then shrugged" ,I don(t really understand it all" Hermione has the nose for that type of thing' but &inny 3ust keeps saying that she needs to do it" It surprises me' a tually" I ne!er pi tured &inny being that type",6hat type is that e5a tly0- Tonks felt a parti ular defensi!eness for her friend" They were bound by mu h more than loss and friendship and she hated it when people thought they ould understand when they really had no way of doing so" ,The2I don(t know2planning type' I guess" &inny usually 3ust made things up as she went along' you know' like2Harry2used to" 6hat she(s doing now' pulling together that ommittee' founding that orphanage and all the other things2- He ran a hand though his hair" ,I guess I ne!er really saw her doing those types of things"Tonks nodded thoughtfully" ,I think she needs it' 7on" It gi!es her purpose",I suppose so'- he on eded" ,I 3ust wish2-

,6hat0,I 3ust wish she ould mo!e on" +!en though she seems to be doing better' she(s still thin and sometimes looks so lost" #he(s still wearing that engagement ring' for )erlin(s sake'- he sighed" ,How is she supposed to meet someone and mo!e on when she(s walking around like2like Harry(s widow0Tonks took a deep breath and swallowed the anger that bubbled up like a id in her throat" ,#ome of us an(t mo!e on' 7on"- #he ould tell he felt bad for his omment' but she wai!ed him off and pasted that now4familiar smile on her fa e" ,Forget about it",6e(re ha!ing a dinner this weekend'- he offered" ,)um will ha!e a fit if you(re not there",I(ll try'- she shrugged" ,$ingsley(s got me on a lot of shifts- she lied" ,*oads of rookies to train",Try anyway'- 7on suggested with a rather knowing look and motioned to where Tonks was ne5t to .pparate out" The moment before she popped out' the rugged fa e of the ginger4haired .uror disappeared and she saw a si5teen4year old boy standing at Harry(s left side' dirt on the end of his nose and his hair' longer than )olly appro!ed of' ruffling o!er his ears: a slow' easy smile stret hing his fa e into a !ision of rela5ed humor" #he blinked and the battle4hardened .uror returned" Then he was gone and the dingy interior of her flat was in his pla e" 7esigning herself to the e5isten e she(d let en!elope her' Tonks fi5ed a rather 1ui k and tasteless meal and wat hed a nameless show on the telly: one whi h she(d ne!er be able to remember an hour later"

%right lights flashed all around her through the ha9y darkness" )ostly orange and red and o asionally green" The flashes silhouetted the few forms around her and Tonks wondered why e!eryone was mo!ing in slow motion44knowing' not too deep down' that not mu h made sense in a dream" If only it was <3ust a dream"( #he ouldn(t stop herself from walking forward' e!en though she knew what she(d find" Two steps' fi!e steps2the ha9e swirled a bit2the sounds far away" =oi es e hoed and Tonks knew what they were saying but didn(t are" #he(d heard them plenty of times before" Ten steps away and Tonks wanted to len h her eyes losed but ouldn(t' 3ust as she ouldn(t that day" #he ne!er ould" 6hy did the mind remember su h details0 His broken body lay on the spongy ground' blood seeping44no longer pumping44from his many wounds" His fa e was a mess of uts and s rat hes" Tonight her eyes tra!eled past the ruined fa e and to his hands" )any of the fingernails were missing: pulled off' she supposed' in his struggles" Hair stu k in those that were left" His right hand was opened' the fingers rea hing toward the dull pie e of wood resting 3ust in hes out of grasp" ,7emus>- Her own !oi e sounded foreign as she felt herself fall to her knees" ,)oony' don(t you die

on me>Her hands be ame painted in his blood as she tried to stop the bleeding: pressing what was left of his worn robes into the gaping wounds on his hest" Franti ally' she tore off her own robes and tried to use them" The red blood soaked into the red of her robes until she ouldn(t tell if there was any lean spa e on them" 7ed on red" Tonks gasped as she finally woke' wrapped tightly in her sheets" #he looked at her hands' knowing that she(d find them stained in blood" ;ale white skin was all she found" #he rubbed harshly at her eyes and looked around for the lo k" ?uarter past four" #he(d managed four hours of sleep tonight" %etter than some nights' worse than others" #he untangled herself from the sheets and stumbled from the room through the narrow hallway and into the small kit hen" 7ummaging through the upboard abo!e the sink' she found what she was looking for and 1ui kly poured herself a generous shot of the amber li1uid" It didn(t e!en burn anymore as she swallowed it and poured another" 6hy was her life so hard0 6hy did it ha!e to hurt so mu h after so long0 /eep down she knew that her life had a purpose' had e!en had it onfirmed for her in so many words on e" #he win ed as she remembered that time and drowned it with another drink" #he didn(t want to think about that now" How mu h longer would that purpose be around0 How mu h longer until she finally ga!e in and lost herself ompletely to the darkness that was e!er edging into her life0 It ouldn(t be mu h longer' she thought" #he(d been surprised it had taken all of two years so far" %ut' if &inny ould hold out this long2 No" #he ouldn(t think that way" They(d warned her it wouldn(t be easy" They(d warned her that the darkness was there" #he(d made her hoi e and now she(d li!e by it" Tomorrow she(d he k on &inny" )aybe they ould go out to lun h or go shopping" #he almost snorted into what remained of her drink thinking about that" There wouldn(t be two more fish4out4of4water than she and &inny shopping" %ut they(d made it this far together' and they ould make it howe!er mu h longer there was" That was the promise she(d made' after all' wasn(t it0 .nd you weren(t anything if you broke the promises you made" Harry had taught her that2it seemed de ades ago"

The Only Way Is Down

.uthor(s Notes: 6hen I began this story' I knew it wouldn(t be a popular one" .nd that was fine' be ause I still think it(s a good story@one that ob!iously needed to be told as it pra ti ally wrote itself" Thanks' on e again' go to my ama9ing beta' /ebbieO" .nd Anre1uited/ream' who let me bother her with do9ens of emails about this story' the ideas and the on epts ontained in it" I really do want to know what you think' e!en if you really don(t like the story" Thanks for reading" Chapter Two: The Only 6ay Is /own 7on 6easley was a ontented man" The past two years had been beyond hard' but they were o!er and the future was looking mu h brighter" His eyes s anned the room and he had to smile" The %urrow was full on e more' all the 6easley(s' those that were still li!ing anyway' in attendan e" )olly 6easley was bu99ing around the kit hen' a wooden spoon stu k in her hair and her wand absently hanging out of a po ket on her apron" 7on smirked to himself and wondered if she knew she(d mi5ed the two up" 6ell' she(d know soon enough" There was a white streak down one side of her fa e that looked to be flour" Her on e4red hair had dulled and mi5ed with grey until it was a muddy' almost pink mi5ture" Hermione had offered to harm it for her but )olly had wai!ed her off and ne!er mentioned it again" .rthur sat in his usual spot at the large family table' a grandson on ea h knee as he slowly boun ed them up and down' singing some ridi ulous song about a pony" The two boys' identi al down to their urly' strawberry4blonde hair and bright blue eyes' giggled as they lut hed their grandfather(s fingers in their pudgy hands" 8ean4*u and ;ierre had been the first4born grand hildren for the 6easleys" %ill and Fleur had wasted no time' ha!ing the twins only ten months after their marriage" The boys were going to turn four in a few weeks' but they still maintained that baby look to their fa es" . ross the kit hen from 7on were .li ia and Fred" &inny was sitting ne5t to them holding their daughter' ;andora" The red headed baby ooed and giggled as &inny poked and ti kled her" 7on was happy to see his sister" #he(d been !ery busy all week and had told %ill when he(d run into her at &ringott(s %ank that she was unsure if she(d be able to make the gathering" Her olor was good' e!en if she was still rather thin" #he wore a smile tonight' but 7on ould tell it wasn(t ompletely genuine" .t least she was smiling" #i5 months ago' she(d suffered another ma3or setba k and 7on had been afraid they(d been lose to losing her again" Tonks had been the one to find her in her flat and bring her home to the %urrow" They suspe ted she(d been lo ked away sin e Christmas: that was the last time anyone had seen her" #he(d been almost in onsolable for days and )olly had been only hours away from flooing #t" )ungo(s for help when something ama9ing had happened" #omehow' and from somewhere' a renewed energy had found &inny and she got up out of bed' began feeding herself and went right ba k to work" 6hen onfronted with it' &inny would only smile sadly and say that she(d lost her fo us for a time and

that on e she found it again she was fine" *ife had not been easy for &inny" #he and Harry were se retly engaged to be married when the Final %attle happened" &inny had found Harry' broken and already dead' in the Forbidden Forest" His final meeting with =oldemort had not turned out well for either side" =oldemort had fallen' but so had Harry" Tonks had found them both' hours later" #he(d sat with them as &inny ro ked Harry(s lifeless body and ried until there were no more tears" They were both in3ured 1uite se!erely' and re1uired stays in the hospital' but the e5a t nature of their in3uries was ne!er re!ealed" #t" )ungo(s' with pressure from the )inistry' had sealed Tonks(' &inny(s' and Harry(s medi al re ords" 7on thought it was a bit mu h' but they had been the only ones in the area with the remains of =oldemort' so maybe2 The press was relentless during the weeks following the %attle" They hounded &inny e!erywhere she went' but she handled herself with a gra e that 7on had ne!er seen in the tiny dynamo" He and Fred had a bet going as to whi h reporter would be on the re ei!ing end of &inny(s famous %at4bogey he5' but had abandoned it when &inny ne!er rose to the bait" #he arried herself with a 1uiet elegan e that more than one person had ommented on' pri!ately of ourse" Harry(s funeral was a horrendous publi spe ta le that had brought more huge headlines" The papers reported that &inny ollapsed during it and had to be remo!ed' wailing and rying the whole way" The truth was' &inny broke out in hysteri al laughter part way through the )inister(s spee h and Tonks' %ill and Charlie had herded her out to pre!ent the truth from oming out" *ater' in pri!ate at the %urrow' &inny had laughed again saying how mu h Harry would ha!e hated e!erything" In the end' &inny' with support and politi al power of the Order of the ;hoeni5' had pla ed Harry(s remains in &odri (s Hollow ne5t to the gra!es of his parents" &inny' with Tonks( help' had insisted that the whole area be pla ed under a Fidelius harm" Harry would ne!er ha!e wanted a publi memorial or monument in his honor" Harry had left e!erything to &inny" It still boggled 7on(s mind the amount of money that his sister sat on right now" %ill and .rthur had waded through the paperwork in the days following the funeral for &inny" #he' in turn' had laughed it off and told them that she would worry about it all later" Two weeks after the funeral' &inny disappeared" The 6easley(s feared the worst until Tonks deli!ered a letter telling them that she had left' of her own free will' to get help from a mind healer" The whole situation had pu99led 7on' as &inny had seemed so strong and determined through it all" )olly and Hermione had both insisted that &inny was a terrifi a tor and that deep down she was a mess" That must ha!e been the ase as &inny was gone for almost ten months" #he returned well enough in body' but 7on ould see the dark shadow that loomed o!er her" The ne5t year she had pulled herself together brilliantly' taking o!er the ;otter finan es and organi9ing things that 7on himself would ne!er ha!e dreamed of" #he stood up to )inister # rimgeour on many a ounts' sometimes in a !ery publi setting" #he !ilified the )inistry in the press and used her onsiderable wealth to ba k her position" Charlie had begun alling her the <littlest dragon( for the fier e way she prote ted both Harry(s memory and his ideals" #he(d burst into a meeting at the )inistry to plan a memorial statue to Harry and had 1ui kly taken

ontrol' o!er the )inister(s 1uite !o al protests' and ompletely hanged the fo us of the whole pro3e t" Instead of ha!ing some monolithi bust of Harry(s fa e in the )inistry building' a simple bla k obelisk was pla ed near the outskirts of Hogsmeade' 3ust on the fringes of the forest where Harry had perished and the Final %attle had taken pla e" .nd it wasn(t only Harry(s name ins ribed in the mirror4 like granite" +!ery !i tim that =oldemort' or his minions' had killed was listed there446i9ard' &oblin' House4+lf' and )uggle alike" 7on had ne!er been prouder of his little sister than in the moment she(d stood in front of the dedi ation eremony and !aliantly touted Harry(s ideals of e1uality and lo!e" He(d needed to lean hea!ily on Hermione when he looked ba k after mingling with the rowd a bit to see &inny press her fingers to her lips and then transfer the kiss to the pla e where he knew Harry(s name was ins ribed" .nd then she(d !anished' .pparating away as 1uietly as she(d ome" %ill had warned her that she might run out of money if she kept spending like she was: that she should sa!e some to li!e on later in her life" &inny 3ust laughed and said that it wasn(t her money to spend on herself" .nd 7on ould see !ery little e!iden e that she spent anything on herself" The flat that she li!ed in had been pur hased by Harry in the later part of their Hor ru5 hunt" &inny li!ed simply' still wearing se ond4hand robes" #he tra!eled only where she needed to keep up with the !arious harities and foundations that she had started" 7on(s eyes aught his sister(s a ross the %urrow" He smiled at being aught staring at her" #he smiled ba k before dropping her eyes to the baby she held" ,#he seems happy'- Hermione ommented as she ame up behind him and laid a hand on his ba k" 7on turned to take her into his arms and grinned down at his largely pregnant wife' nodding" ,#he does" I was hoping that Tonks would ome tonight as well",They are !ery mu h alike' aren(t they0- Hermione asked" #he had mellowed so mu h with their marriage and her pregnan y that it still sometimes surprised 7on that this was the same Hermione he and Harry had gone to s hool with" ,6ho' lo!e0,Tonks and &inny'- she larified" ,They(!e both lost so mu h"7on nodded" ,Yes' but they(!e handled it so differently" Tonks was a mess right at first' remember",Yes'- Hermione nodded" ,%ut she pulled it together when &inny needed her"- 7on had to agree with that" 6hene!er &inny had been in need' it was Tonks who ame to the res ue" #he(d found the mind healer for &inny and made arrangements for her to stay there" Tonks had e!en taken a lea!e of absen e herself' saying that she was staying with &inny for a bit at the end of her treatment" #he(d been the lifeline between the 6easleys and their youngest daughter during those times" #he(d e!en been an un4 offi ial bodyguard to &inny on many publi appearan es" ,.lthough I think &inny(s more together than Tonks these days'- 7on mumbled" There had been rumors running through the .uror department of Tonks( wild side" The arrogant and boisterous *udlow 6illis had been !ery less than flattering about their short4li!ed relationship" He(d alled her horrid

names and told the most unflattering stories about her" 7on had heard that $ingsley had pri!ately pressured the .uror to shut his mouth' threatening him with the worst shifts and assignments if he e!er said another word about Tonks again" Then there was poor .ndy Hendri kson" The kid had barely been legal when Tonks had poun ed on him" He(d been a mess when he(d been transferred to 7on(s di!ision" #omehow the kid had pulled it together and was now assigned as 7on(s 3unior partner" The sub3e t of Tonks was stri tly taboo between them' howe!er" .ndy had let a few details slip on a long o!ernight shift and 7on(s opinion of his long4 time friend had fore!er been damaged" %ut' there was no doubt that she had been there' one hundred and ten per ent' for &inny" &inny rarely had to ask for anything before Tonks would be there" 7on supposed it was shared misery that brought them together" ,Hopefully it(s 3ust a rough pat h and she(ll get o!er it soon'- Hermione mused" Her attention turned away from where &inny was teasing Fred about his daughter and ba k to her husband" ,Ha!e you had a han e to ask &inny yet07on win ed" ,No' I ha!en(t"- He wasn(t looking forward to the on!ersation' or the feelings it might dredge up" He hoped that the good mood &inny seemed to be in tonight would help their ause" ,Tonight might be a good night'- Hermione suggested" ,Yeah' I think so too" I(ll see if I an(t get her alone later"Hermione nodded and they both turned as the ba k door opened and a rather sedated Tonks entered" #edate for Tonks' at least" The top half of her head was a dark burgundy while the bottom half was pure white" It was ropped lose in the ba k' only an in h at most away from her head and the burgundy parts were longer in layers toward her fa e" #he only had one pier ing today it seemed: a diamond stud on the side of her nose" Oops> 7on spoke too soon" It looked as if she had something or other right through the middle of her tongue" +rgh" ,6ot her all'- she greeted with a large smile" )olly gathered her up ompletely in a hug and the room settled ba k into the bu99 of on!ersations" 7on wat hed as Tonks worked the room' greeting people' hugging wi!es and pin hing hildren(s heeks" It was only when her eyes and &inny(s met that the familiar shadow rept onto both of their fa es" They e5 hanged a brief hug' whispered words that 7on ouldn(t hear' and then mo!ed away from ea h other" /inner went rather well' 7on thought" %ill(s boys only upset three dishes of food" Fred attempted to slip a new produ t onto 7on(s plate but' with Hermione(s help' he gra efully a!oided it" There was a minor argument when %ill began talking politi s and Charlie ob3e ted" For the most part' both Tonks and &inny stayed 1uiet" .fter dinner' Hermione prodded 7on to where &inny was speaking softly with her mother" &inny(s tenden y to disappear right after dinner made the on!ersation that 7on was not looking forward to imminent"

,Hey' &in",Hello' 7on"- The fake smile was ba k' but this time it looked as if she was putting as mu h effort as she ould muster into it" ,*isten' Hermione and I were wondering2,Yes0- )olly had mo!ed away' possibly sensing that the dis ussion was to be a serious one' and 7on had &inny(s full attention" ,6ell' we found out that we(re ha!ing a boy"- 7on waited for some sign that &inny had heard him but she only nodded politely" ,)um told me" I hope that you weren(t trying to keep it a se ret"7on ruffled his hair and glan ed ba kward to where Hermione was prodding him onward" ,No' not really",&ood'- &inny hu kled' ,be ause you an(t e!er tell her anything like that and not e5pe t e!eryone to know about it",&ood point'- 7on smiled" ,.nyway' Hermione and I were talking and2- he glan ed up to find &inny wat hing him in uriosity' ,we were wondering if we ould2namethebabyharry",Come again0- &inny leaned toward him a bit" 7on sighed" ,6e wanted to name the baby after Harry"- He tensed waiting for &inny(s e5plosion and was surprised when it didn(t ome" ,I don(t think that(s a !ery good idea' 7on'- &inny said almly with a small smile on her fa e" 7on saw her hand drift down to twist the diamond engagement ring around and around her finger" #he glan ed behind him as Hermione ame up to listen in" ,Harry would hate that' and you know it" He(d hate all the things that are being done in his name",You(!e done some rather good things in his name'- Hermione protested as she 3oined her husband" ,That(s a bit different' isn(t it0- &inny asked" ,I(m 3ust doing things that Harry himself would ha!e done if he(d been here" He(s not' so it(s now my 3ob to do them"7on wasn(t surprised at her answer" Frankly he(d e5pe ted it' howe!er he and Hermione felt that if anyone deser!ed to name a hild after Harry' it was them" Tonks ame up beside &inny and laid a hand on her shoulder" &inny smiled tightly at her and turned ba k to her brother" ,6hat about 8ames0- Hermione asked" #he and 7on had also talked about using that name so he wasn(t surprised when she mentioned it" 6hat did surprise him was &inny(s rea tion" He ould ha!e sworn she nearly fell down" Tonks grabbed

her arm as she started to shake !iolently" ,No> You an(t use either of those names"7on was bewildered by the anger that &inny was radiating" Tonks glared at him for a minute before looking down on &inny again' who was trying to alm herself by breathing deeply" ,It(s important for us to remember' &inny'- Hermione protested" ,&i!ing our son Harry(s name is a way to honor him sin e he(ll ne!er ha!e a hild of his own"- 7on win ed as &inny turned away almost as if being hit by an in!isible for e" &inny took a few breaths and turned ba k and 7on was ama9ed at the hange in her fa e" Her skin' in that instant' took on a rather grey pallor and dark ir les seemed to form under her eyes' whi h were now dull and lifeless" ,;lease hoose a name that will gi!e your hild an identity for the future" Asing something from the past will only tie him to something that he ould ne!er understand"They stood 1uietly for a moment letting the words disappear between them" ,Then will you at least onsent to being his godmother0- Hermione asked' a hopeful look on her fa e" &inny smiled sadly and patted Tonks( hand as it rested on her shoulder" ,I(m sorry: I don(t think I an do that"- #he turned without further e5planation and walked out of the room"

Tonks grima ed to herself as she noti ed 7on and Hermione approa h &inny" This ouldn(t end well' she knew" In the end' &inny had held her onsiderable temper together and hadn(t faltered as mu h as Tonks had e5pe ted her to" #he knew that their unknowing remarks would hurt deeply for a long time' but they had been 3ust that44unknowing" &inny looked mu h better when she ame out of the bathroom a few minutes later" Tonks wat hed her mingle for a few minutes' a!oiding both 7on and Hermione' before saying her goodbyes" #he aught Tonks( eye for a moment and the silent message was understood" Tonks made her own e5 uses only a few minutes later and apparated to &inny(s flat" Not mu h had hanged in the past two years here" The little tou hes &inny had added had only a entuated Harry(s good taste in furnishings" He(d laughingly told 7on and Hermione that 3ust be ause they had to ome and go from the flat so mu h didn(t mean they ouldn(t be omfortable while there were there" ,I(ll be right out"-

Tonks heard &inny all from the ba k bedroom" #he took her time inspe ting the few photographs and mementos that were s attered around the room" Her fa!orite photo was one of Harry and &inny taken a few weeks before the final battle" Harry had proposed to &inny that day and )olly had insisted on bringing out the amera" Happy times were few and far between ba k then" The ouple in the photo was ob!iously deeply in lo!e" They e5 hanged brief' although passionate' kisses now and again and lost ea h other in deep ga9es" Not for the first time' Tonks wished she had a pi ture of 7emus and herself together in su h a state" #he(d always been su h a lown when any amera had ome out that there was ne!er a serious one taken" 7emus had teased her about that but had' in pri!ate' told her that she didn(t ha!e to a t up for him' that he ould see through her masks and that he lo!ed her anyway" ,I hate those things'- &inny grumbled as she shuffled into the room" &one were the wi9arding robes' e5 hanged for a rather mas uline pair of flannel pa3ama pants and an old ?uiddit h 3ersey" Harry(s lothing" ,)e too'- Tonks sighed as she loosened her own lothing a bit' tossed her boots into a orner by the door' and sat down on the sofa a ross from &inny" ,You don(t ha!e to ome' you know'- &inny smiled tiredly" ,You(re not obligated to them"Tonks shrugged" ,I know"- #he studied her friend losely before raising an eyebrow" ,Come on now' let(s see it"&inny grima ed and shook her head" ,I(m not sure I an tonight' /ora",I need to know' &in"The two women appraised ea h other for a moment before &inny sighed and rea hed for her wand on the sofa table" ,Finite In antatem"Tonks bit the inside of her lip rather than make a sound at &inny(s appearan e" Thin wasn(t the word2 skeletal was more like it" Her skin was a pale grey olor' and e!en her lips had lost most of their distin tion" Her eyes were sunken and dull' tears pooling at the orners" The on e !i!id hair was lifeless and hung down in lumps on her shoulders" -Oh' &in'- Tonks finally whispered" ,It(s not long now' is it0#urprisingly' &inny smiled a genuine smile" ,No' it(s not" . few weeks at most",6ill you tell them0&inny shook her head and slowly gathered her knees up toward her hest' wrapping her arms around them" ,No' I an(t" I an(t stand to see their fa es" I(!e wat hed death' /ora' and I an(t let them see me like I had to see that"Tonks swiped at the tears that dribbled out and ran down her heeks" #he sighed deeply and then drew a

large breath" ,/o you need anything0 ;ain potions or something0&inny lay her head against the sofa ushion and shook it slightly" ,I(!e gotten good at brewing them myself",.nd bloody good at the harms to on eal all this mess' too'- Tonks praised with a sardoni laugh" ,I don(t know how you manage it' &in"&inny losed her eyes and shrugged a shoulder" ,I don(t ha!e a hoi e' /ora" I do what I need to do to make it through the day" .t night' e!ery night' I pray for Harry to ome and take me away" In the morning' I open my eyes and know that I ha!e to get up"- Her !oi e trailed off and Tonks wondered if she(d fallen asleep" #he took a moment to obser!e the dying woman a ross from her" /eep purple bruises marred the pale skin that showed the map of !eins underneath" #he prayed that the pain potions were enough to ease her suffering" . rattled breath awakened &inny and she looked away from Tonks( knowing ga9e" ,Not mu h longer",You(ll let me know if you need anything0,*ike we(!e talked about'- &inny onfirmed" Tonks shook her head" ,I really don(t like the idea of you being alone" You shouldn(t be" .t least let me be here"&inny smiled gratefully at her only friend but shook her head" ,That(s not the way it works",I was there for the others",I know'- &inny said softly" ,.nd it meant the world for me then" %ut this is something that I ha!e to do" You(re messed up enough as it is" )aybe it was a mistake to in!ol!e you in this' /ora" You don(t need to see me die' too"They(d had this same on!ersation a million times it seemed and it always ended the same" &inny would be stubborn and Tonks would gi!e in' like she always did" #he had promised' after all" ,*et me help you get to bed at least"- Tonks helped &inny mo!e slowly to the bedroom that she and Harry had shared' se retly' if only a few times" .ll of Harry(s things were 3ust as he had left them" His robes hung in the loset" His Firebolt leaned in the orner" Hedwig was sleeping with her head under her wing in the orner of the room" #he didn(t make many deli!eries now' but seemed to dote on &inny instead" Tonks wondered if the old owl knew what was really happening" ,6ot her' Hedwig'- Tonks greeted the owl softly and Hedwig ruffled her feathers" ,6ill she be alright0- Tonks asked' looking ba k to &inny" &inny smiled as she eased down onto the right side of the bed" ,#he(ll be fine" I(ll let her know where

I(m going and she an de ide for herself"Tonks hu kled dryly" ,Can I make that de ision too0&inny shook her head" ,#orry' not my all to make" %esides' I think you already know that answer"Tonks nodded absently and pushed the dark thoughts further ba k in her mind" ,I(ll he k on you tomorrow",/on(t bother'- &inny mumbled as she lay ba k onto the white pillow" ,I don(t ha!e meetings s heduled so I(m going to stay in bed",The ne5t day then'- Tonks said firmly' and &inny 3ust smiled" ,I(ll be here"Tonks( throat losed up then and she ould only nod" #he tu ked the hea!y 1uilt around &inny(s frail body and wat hed as her breathing deepened and e!ened" ,6at h o!er her Hedwig'- Tonks whispered and the owl ruffled again"

.BN: I know this hapter probably added more 1uestions than it ga!e answers" .nd it(s ompletely angst4ridden" Howe!er' I do know where it(s going' e!en if you' dear reader' do not" If you(!e read this far@sti k with it" :C

Chapter 3: No One's Got Much To Say

.BN: Thank you to e!eryone who is gi!ing this story a han e" I appre iate all the support ID!e been getting" Thanks' on e again' to /ebbieO and Anre1uited/ream for all their hard work to make this story as good as it has turned out" *ots of you ha!e guesses as to the promises that Tonks made and whatDs going on with &inny" This hapter may44or may not44shed some light on that" :C

Chapter Three: No One(s &ot )u h To #ay There was blood on her hands again" This time it was someone else(s" &inny s reamed and Tonks flin hed" ,)ake it stop'- &inny gasped and Tonks lasped her eyes shut" There was so mu h pain in the air that

she swore she ould taste it" The room was dark' only lit by a few andles on the wardrobe and the small table ne5t to the bed" The flames fli kered and made the tall shadows dan e on the wall" ,I an(t' &in'- Tonks whispered' glan ing again at the stain of red spreading on the white sheet" ,I an(t stop it" I2I think we need help"&inny s reamed again and rolled herself tighter into a ball" ,No> No one an know> You promised",You(ll die' &inny>- Tonks s reamed ba k as she grabbed &inny(s shoulders and shook her on e !iolently" ,You(ll die and so will he" I thought I ould do it but2it(s too soon"The two women(s eyes onne ted for a moment and &inny nodded" Tonks took a moment to wipe her hands on the sheet before disappearing" The dream morphed and Tonks was wat hing as her mother bent o!er the bed' whispering soothing words of en ouragement" &inny was alm now' staring at the dark shadows in the orner" Tonks listened to the sounds &inny and .ndromeda made but did not hear the words" Her eyes were ri!eted on the two bloody handprints that marred the side of the sheet" 7ed again" ,/amnit> I hate that one'- Tonks grumbled as she struggled to sit on the too4small sofa she(d fallen asleep on" On e she(d made sure &inny was ompletely asleep and pla ed a pain potion on the bedside table for her' she .pparated home" #he ried herself to sleep urled around her knees" Tonks felt horrible for en!ying &inny' but she did all the same" &inny(s struggle was almost o!er" #he grima ed" 6hat a horridly morbid thought" Then again' death seemed an old friend now" The red lo k showed the time to be near two o( lo k in the morning" Tonks harshly rubbed her fa e knowing that she needed more sleep" #he stripped on the way to her room and fell into bed ompletely naked' waiting for the dark to take her" EI lo!e you' /ora"It had been too long sin e she(d heard his !oi e" +!en if it was only in a dream' she wel omed the warmth that flowed o!er her" ,7ight ba k at( ha'- she had teased" #he ursed herself for ne!er telling him enough" 7emus gathered her into his arms and pla ed a kiss on her temple" #he remembered the day well" It was a rare sunny and warm day in .pril and the trio had ome home to the %urrow for an une5pe ted !isit" #he had o!erheard Harry whispering to 7emus when they(d arri!ed" ,Close'- was all he(d said' but the two men had e5 hanged signifi ant looks" #he wondered' then stopped herself2Not today> #he wouldn(t allow thoughts of the war impede this perfe t day" They were too few and far between to ruin" Tonks( ga9e drifted o!er 7emus( shoulder and out o!er the ba k lot of the %urrow" .rthur and %ill were

le!itating tables and hairs out so that the whole group ould sit outdoors and en3oy the warmth" Hermione' Fleur and )olly were following behind' arrying and le!itating bowls and dishes piled with food" 7on' &eorge and Fred were off in one orner ha!ing some sort of dis ussion: e!ery on e in awhile Fred would eye his mother(s hi kens" Tonks had to grin and wonder when the haos would begin" Harry and &inny had ompletely disappeared" The dream ontinued along the memory until Harry and &inny reappeared' hand in hand' wearing foolish grins" ,6hat0>- 7on onfronted them first' a knowing smile on his fa e" ,6e(re getting married>&inny(s announ ement thrilled e!eryone" The ouple was soon lost in a sea of hugs and ba k slaps" Tonks stood fro9en on the edge of the a tion" #he didn(t feel ompletely wel ome' and she ouldn(t e5plain why" ,*et(s go greet the happy ouple'- 7emus had whispered in her ear and Tonks nodded" The dream morphed again and Tonks was ba k in a dark and smoky battlefield" . huge flash of light erupted in front of her" #he stumbled ba kwards as a ripple of energy passed through her" . pier ing s ream shook the silen e and Tonks rawled forward' trying to pull herself up" Tree roots and ro ks gouged her knees and palms as she pressed silently into the forest" It was dark' almost pit h bla k' and the a rid taste of burning filled her fa e' ausing her to ret h" There was nothing left in her stoma h to ome up" The sight she finally stumbled upon was enough to make her !omit again: a id burning her throat and searing her nose" The enter of the forest was now a large harred ir le" In the middle of the ir le a heap of bla k robes burned' the sour e of the a rid smoke" Tonks slammed her eyes losed' knowing instantly who it was" 7elief flooded her being" He was dead" Harry had won" 6hen she was finally able to grasp that idea' she let herself look around" . handful of steps away' she ould see two people" One lay sprawled with his head in the other(s lap" The other held the first' ro king ba k and forth and rying"

,.gain>- Tonks barked" )arks groaned and stood slowly' rubbing his shoulder" He glared at his trainer' relu tantly resuming dueling position when Tonks brandished her wand" He blo ked the first two disarming spells but fell to the blaster that she(d thrown in silently" Harry had taught her that tri k and she lo!ed to use it on her trainees" ,You fell for it again'- she drawled as she repla ed her wand in its holster and walked o!er to where )arks lay panting on the mat" ,I(!e used that enough that you should know to e5pe t it by now" 6hat happens when you get out there in the real world0- )arks didn(t answer' but 3ust ontinued to breathe

hea!ily" ,You(ll be dead in under a month'- she hissed at him and nudged him with her boot" ,Not likely'- he finally shot ba k" ,6e(!e been training for months and I(!e ne!er seen anything more than a petty thief"Tonks glared at him" ,You honestly think that there(s not anyone dangerous out there still0)arks mumbled something" ,6hat was that0- Tonks demanded" ,I said' not after ;otter took are of them'- )arks finally snapped" He had the good gra e to look slightly ashamed of his outburst" Tonks snorted out in laughter' shaking her young student" ,You think Harry killing =oldemort made all the other /eath +aters hange their minds0- He flin hed at the name and Tonks sneered at him disdainfully" ,You think they all turned themsel!es in0 ;romised to be good now that their *ord was finally gone for good0,You(re too naF!e'- she bit out" ,You(ll ne!er make it as an .uror"- #he turned to lea!e but stopped when he alled out" ,.nd you(re a bitter old has4been"#he wanted to yell ba k at him" There was a time when she would ha!e he5ed him faster than respond' done something horribly funny to him that would ha!e taught him a lesson" The problem was that she really ouldn(t see that he(d been wrong" #he was bitter" #he felt e5tremely old and she had to admit that her urrent role as a trainer made her feel a bit like a has4been" ,%e ba k here tomorrow'- she said almly instead' ,same time" .nd if you fall for that again' I(ll report you to #ha klebolt"- The door slamming behind her satisfied her almost as mu h as seeing the defeated look on his fa e"

,I hear you(!e been torturing your student again"-

Tonks raised an eyebrow at $ingsley as he entered his offi e and threw down a sta k of par hment" He hated it when she entered while he was out but he hadn(t been able to stop her" Fred and &eorge had taught her how to enter almost any unlo ked door" 7emus' and #irius' had been most instru ti!e as well" ,You ha!e a problem with me tea hing them what they need to know0$ingsley studied her for a minute and then shook his head" ,No' I don(t" %ut you do need to let a few of

these kids through' Tonks",I don(t know how )arks e!er made it through the . ademy'- she supplied" ,His ombat skills are sorely la king"- $ingsley raised an eyebrow and she ontinued" ,He fell for a <Harry #pe ial'( $ing"The large .uror only smiled" ,+!en 7on falls for that now and again' Tonks" Cut the kid a little sla k" 6e both know he(ll ne!er be the top .uror" Hell' e!en he knows it" %ut we need him" You know how thin we got at the end of the war" 7on 3oining the . ademy was the best thing we(d seen in years' espe ially when he told the press that Harry would ha!e 3oined himself if he(d sur!i!ed"Tonks glared at him' but knew she ouldn(t refute what he was saying" ,These kids all 3oined to be like their hero",Harry hated that'- Tonks said softly as she laid her head on the ba k of the hair" ,.nd despite what 7on said' I don(t think Harry would ha!e 3oined the . ademy",)iner!a said4, ,I know what she said' $ing" I was there' and I heard it" %ut2- she shook her head" ,Harry and &inny had plans' $ing" They wanted a family and2- Tonks blew out a breath" ,Trust me: he wouldn(t ha!e been an .uror"$ingsley studied her for a moment and then nodded in resignation" He knew how lose Tonks and &inny were' or thought he did anyway" He must ha!e assumed that Tonks had more information than he was pri!y to" ,6ell' then 6easley should ha!e been"- He rubbed his eyes harshly" ,#he(s a ball of fire' that one"Tonks hu kled up at the eiling in agreement" ,#he(s been gi!ing the )inister hell today"- Tonks( head snapped up at his words" ,You(!e seen her0$ingsley nodded absently as he glan ed through a par hment in front of him" ,Yeah' she was laying into him good when I showed up for morning briefing" I ould hear her from in the re eption room"He hu kled a bit" ,/id you see her0- Tonks sat up straight in the hair" #he(d he ked on &inny yesterday' 3ust as she(d promised' and found her still pale and thin' but looking as if the sleep she(d gotten had done her a world of good" ,Yeah'- $ingsley said' one eyebrow raised in onfusion" ,#he ame out 3ust before my meeting started" #he looked well" I know that this time of year is hard for her"Tonks nodded distra tedly" &inny(s harms were ser!ing her well again then" ,6hat was she harassing him about today0$ingsley looked a bit agitated himself" ,#ome of the /eath +aters are trying to e5 hange information

for less time in .9kaban" The )inister was set against it at first but he seems to be softening" &inny was 3ust gi!ing her usual !iews of the sub3e t" #he e!en threatened to he5 his bits if he didn(t <get off his arse and do what was right"( Her words' not mine"Tonks smiled at the thought" ,I wish I(d been there",I(m sure you(ll get a good enough a ount later today or tomorrow" *o!egood was trailing after her' a /i ta4?uill running full speed",&ood for her'- Tonks praised" *una *o!egood had really supported &inny through her fights with the )inistry" The ?uibbler often printed things well before the /aily ;rophet be ause of the loyalty &inny felt for *una" ,#keeter was trailing along after the bun h as well",#he(s out now0- Tonks raised an eyebrow" ,I would ha!e thought &inny would ha!e made sure her senten e in .9kaban would ha!e been fully ser!ed"- 7ita #keeter had rossed the line one too many times in &inny(s opinion and the young wit h had turned in the unregistered .nimagus a few weeks after Harry(s death' 3ust before she disappeared for the better part of a year" ,Not for la k of trying'- $ingsley grima ed" ,#keeter made some deal with # rimgeour that no one knows about' I(m sure",6ell' more power to &inny'- Tonks said with as mu h for e as she ould" ,I read through that report' you know'- $ingsley said after a moment of silen e" Tonks didn(t ha!e to ask what report he was mentioning" &inny(s work had stirred up enough trouble at the )inistry and her founding of the *upin *y anthropy .gen y had almost been the final straw for the traditionalists in the go!ernment" The fa t that the .gen y had more than one silent and independent finan ial ba ker' and that &inny was the spokesperson was the only thing that kept the .gen y open" &inny had talked for months with Tonks about founding the .gen y until they had both ome up with what they felt were the best ideas and auses to support" Now there was a small medi al staff trained' and e5perien ed' to deal with werewol!es and maladies ommonly known to them" There was a safe house where 6olfsbane potion was dispensed' without ost' to those who needed it" Those in need ould also stay at the safe house for a time too" &inny had somehow been able to on!in e a few businesses to hire known werewol!es and' although some people were still hesitant to do so' the idea was not being re3e ted as it on e was" The report that $ingsley had been talking about was a re!iew of the .gen y by se!eral outside sour es" #urprisingly' only the )inistry(s e5aminer had found flaws in the plans" .nd' so far' the people who had taken ad!antage of the .gen y(s assistan e had nothing but wonderful things to say about it" ,It(s a good thing'- Tonks stated learly" ,7emus would ha!e lo!ed it'- she added in a rather small !oi e" $ingsley seemed to study her for a minute before nodding" ,Yes it is" *isten' I know that this time of year isn(t easy'- he blew out his breath in frustration" ,You(ll let me know if you need a few days0- He

stiffened noti eably and Tonks felt a bit irritated at that" #he knew that usually any referen e to that 8une would set her off either rying or s reaming at whoe!er was around" For some reason' and it may ha!e been the on ern in her friend(s !oi e' it didn(t this time" #he was genuinely tou hed that he ared enough to be thinking about it" ,I think I(m alright'- she admitted" ,#ometimes it helps to ha!e something physi al to do' you know0#he hu kled wryly and $ingsley 3ust studied her" #he was about to dismiss the notion ompletely when a pi ture of &inny(s grey' gaunt fa e entered her mind" It wouldn(t be long now' she knew" ,. tually' I(d like to hold that offer' $ing'- she said' looking down at her fingernails' whi h were painted an ele tri purple today" ,I might need some time soon"$ingsley was silent and she han ed a glan e up at him only to find him staring at her" #he shifted a bit and then met his ga9e again' willing him to not pry any further" It was a testament to their mutual friendship and respe t when he nodded" They(d been through enough together that he wouldn(t 1uestion her mu h" ,You an ha!e all the time you want'- he said softly" ,8ust let me know and I(ll take are of this end for as long as you need"#he nodded gratefully and took a deep breath to will away the emotions that had risen in her hest" Flashing him what she hoped was a heeky smile' she stood" ,%etter get ba k to it'- she for ed out and ga!e a little wa!e o!er her shoulder" -%e good'- $ingsley alled out and Tonks laughed" ,Ne!er".BN: *ea!e a re!iew' please" #o many of you are reading"""and so few are telling me what they think of the story" IDd really like to know"

Chapter 4: As Strong As ou Were

.BN: I(m told this hapter needs a se!ere tissue warning" #o' there' you(!e been warned" I think many of your 1uestions should be answered in this hapter and the ne5t" I would really lo!e to hear what you think of the story" Thanks to Anre1uited/ream and /ebbieO for all the help on this story" Chapter Four: .s #trong .s You 6ere . whole week passed and Tonks was getting more than an5ious" #he hadn(t heard from &inny beyond a small note that told her &inny was fine but was done with publi appearan es" #he tried to !isit' but the wards at the flat were ere ted and Tonks wasn(t allowed in" #he prayed that &inny was not in pain

and that she would be able to do her part" #he was a bit angry also" &inny had told her from the !ery beginning that it would happen this way' but that didn(t make the waiting any easier" Tonks buried herself in work" #he was surprisingly patient with )arks as she worked with him on his defense skills" %y the end of the week' he ould easily disarm her and a!oid most of her traps" #he also felt a strange need to tidy her own affairs" *ogi ally' she knew that she wasn(t the one dying' but it was almost ompulsi!e" #he met with a goblin in &ringotts and made out a will' lea!ing her meager possessions to her parents' the 6easley family' and a few things of 7emus( to the *upin *y anthropy .gen y" It was something that he would ha!e hated' and thinking of how he would ha!e grumbled about it brought a smile to her fa e" #he paid her bills more than a month in ad!an e" #he went to )adam )alkin(s and bought a rather ni e set of dress robes43ust in ase" They were a rather bright purple' but Tonks didn(t are" It was on one of these trips that she ran into %ill 6easley in /iagon .lley" #he(d been a!oiding the 6easley(s all week and grima ed to herself when she was ornered" 8ust seeing his smile as he held his son(s hand made her insides ringe" #he wanted to s ream at him and beat his hest" His sister lay alone in her flat' dying' and here he was eating i e ream with one of his twins" %ut it was all for nothing" %ill was ompletely inno ent and obli!ious to &inny(s situation' she knew" .nd that was the way that &inny wanted it" #he wanted to die on her own terms' as Harry had done" 6ith dignity and gra e' she(d told Tonks one day" That was the way that one should die: not with deathbed !isits and people wat hing you waste away a little ea h day" ,Hello Tonks>- %ill heered and held up a dripping spoon of bright pink i e ream to his lips" ,6ot her %ill' and28ean4*u ' isn(t it0- she greeted them' hoping that her dark attitude wouldn(t peek through and gi!e her away ompletely" ,6e ha!en(t seen you in awhile'- he ommented and there was a bit of a usation in his tone" ,You and &inny seem to hide regularly"Tonks bit the inside of her lip and shrugged non halantly" ,%een busy'- she tried" He studied her losely for a moment and then nodded" ,6e all try to keep busy this time of year too'- he finally offered" Tonks sei9ed the e5 use and nodded" ,It(s a hard time"%ill nodded" ,Two years'- he agreed" ,It(s hard to belie!e some times" There are days that I hear a ommotion outside the offi e and for 3ust a se ond' I think that maybe it(s Harry' you know' oming to see me like he did that last year"Tonks nodded stiffly" ,He was2an ama9ing man'- she said" ,He died too young"-

,7emus did also'- %ill said softly and ruffled his son(s hair" ,I ne!er got to tell him how mu h his presen e helped those first few months"- Tonks understood what he meant" .fter %ill was atta ked by Fenrir &reyba k' 7emus had he ked up on him e!ery few days" Tonks was not pri!y to the information that was shared' but she assumed 7emus was trying to ease %ill(s fears about being hurt by the werewolf" It turned out all right in the end: %ill did not ha!e *y anthropy and' despite a few odd beha!ioral hanges near the full moon' he was ompletely fine now" ,He knew'- Tonks onfirmed in a small !oi e" ,He mentioned to me on e how well you were taking it and how proud he was of you"%ill swallowed thi kly and smiled down at his son who ontinued to eat obli!iously" ,6ell' he was a good man'- he finally ended the sub3e t" ,)um has asked about you"Tonks instantly felt bad" )olly was a wonderful friend whom she(d relied on mu h in the past and she felt like she was betraying her a bit" )ore than a bit" ,I know'- she said" ,Tell her2I don(t know' %ill"#he ruffled her short' spiky hair a bit and glan ed o!er the milling rowds in the .lley" ,I don(t know what to tell her anymore",.re you alright0- %ill asked" ,I mean' you(re not si k are you0Tonks ouldn(t help the snort of ironi laughter that s1ueaked out" ,.lright isn(t an option for me' %ill" %ut I(ll li!e"%ill narrowed his eyes at her and then looked on in onfusion as she seemed to gather herself again and her mask went ba k on" ,6here(s terror number two0- she asked' rea hing out to brush the small boy(s urly lo ks with her fingers" ,6ith Fleur'- %ill grunted ba k" ,#ome days we need to split the two to gi!e )ummy a break"- He used his napkin to wipe the sti kiness from 8ean4*u (s small fa e" Tonks nodded" ,I(d better get ba k to the )inistry'- she finally said" ,I wasn(t supposed to be gone this long"%ill wat hed her losely again and Tonks looked away" ,8ust2take are of yourself' Tonks" You know we all think of you as family",I know'- she said with a smile" ,.nd he k on &inny for us' please" )erlin knows you(re the only one she lets lose to her these days" It(s dri!ing )um ra9y to see her doing this to herself"Tonks was 1uiet for a minute but nodded" ,I got an owl from her the other day" #he(s alright'- the lie rolled off her tongue" ,I mean' as alright as we get'- she hu kled and %ill nodded in understanding" ,I(ll keep trying" This time of year2it(s 3ust hard"-

,I understand that'- %ill said" ,)ore than you think I do"Tonks met his eyes for a minute and then they both looked away" #he stood 1ui kly and gathered her bag" ,Tell them all hello from me and I(ll be in tou h soon",I will'- %ill said"

The letter that she(d been waiting for' and dreading for the last two years' ame on a 6ednesday" Hedwig fluttered into the open window of Tonks( flat and rested on the ba k of a hair' staring at the woman a ross the table from her" ,Hedwig'- Tonks whispered as she stared at the bird" Her on e pristine feathers were ruffled and there was a hint of grey around her eyes and on the rown of her head" #he looked nothing short of utterly e5hausted' Tonks thought' as she rested" #he didn(t e!en hold out her foot where she lut hed the wrinkled par hment in her talons" ,That(s it then' isn(t it0- +!en to herself' Tonks( !oi e sounded harsh" *ike she(d been sleeping for days and 3ust woken up" #he felt asleep almost" Taking a few deep breaths and losing her eyes to fo us again' she stood from her hair and mo!ed toward the owl" Hedwig hooted !ery low and sorrowful' and Tonks felt her hest tighten" The owl hadn(t been the same sin e Harry died and now' with what Tonks was sure she arried' Tonks doubted the bird would e!er re o!er" ,%est get on with it' girl'- Tonks whispered and used the ba k of her finger to rub the soft feathers on Hedwig(s hest" .nd' for a moment' she wasn(t sure if she was trying to on!in e the bird or herself" #he slowly rea hed for the par hment and Hedwig dropped it into her hand" The owl ontinued to wat h as Tonks sank into another hair' holding the letter as if it would at h on fire" ,You an do this'- she repeated to herself se!eral times' all the while breathing deeply" This ouldn(t be worse than finding 7emus or wat hing Harry die or2the other" It ouldn(t be worse than wat hing someone you lo!e waste away a little e!ery day and knowing that deep inside' you wish you ould die too" The en!elope opened easily and Tonks steeled herself" .fter all' it might only be a note saying that &inny was still ali!e" #he didn(t know whi h would be better" /ora' This is the end" You ha!e been the most ama9ing friend" I(ll ne!er be able to tell you how mu h you(!e done for me by 3ust being there these past years" You(!e been more than a friend: a sister' a mother' an angel' really" .nd I know that Harry would feel the same way" No' I know he does' a tually" I am releasing you from your promises now" ;lease' as a fa!or to me' take are of those last details that we planned so long ago" I know this will be hard' as I(!e been in your position before' but please don(t

let my family find me first" /o what you need to do' /ora' and then mo!e on" This half4life you(!e been li!ing isn(t really li!ing and you know it I would like to say I(m sorry that you stumbled upon us that day' that we made you a part of something this2horrible' and wonderful' and bloody strange all the same" %ut I would be lying" I needed you' Harry needed you' 8amie needed you and there are others that need you" You are the only one who knows our whole story" /o with it what you will" You know where to find me" ;lease wait at least twel!e hours to ome" &in Tonks finished the letter that now bore smears and wet spots from her tears" #he read it on e more and then tossed it aside" #he flopped ba k against the hair' feeling e5tremely di99y and disoriented" The end had ome' 3ust as they(d said it would" The letter was beautiful and poignant and all the things Tonks hated" &inny knew the e5a t things to say to make Tonks do e5a tly as she(d asked" Not that it mattered" %riefly' she wondered if the sensations she was feeling were the magi releasing her from her !ow" Now that she e5amined it' she did feel a bit2different" #he ouldn(t say it was lighter' for the last of her best friends was dead' or dying at any rate" %ut the hea!iness was different now" </amn her>( she thought !iolently" .sking Tonks to wait twel!e hours was like asking a ri!er to hange its ourse" %ut &inny had known she would do it" How ould she refuse>0 Numbly she got up from the hair and gathered a bowl of water and a few owl treats' laying them on the table for Hedwig' who wat hed silently' eyes wide" ,I(m sorry I don(t ha!e more'- she apologi9ed to the owl" Ne5t' she set about writing a 1ui k note to $ingsley asking for the promised days off" .s she folded the par hment' Hedwig held out her leg" Tonks stared at her in onfusion for a moment before shaking her head" ,No' girl' you(!e done enough" I(ll 3ust send this out later"The owl shook her leg a bit and thrust it loser to Tonks' who had to smile" -.re you sure0The bird ga!e her a trademark glare and wiggled the foot again" Tonks sighed and atta hed the note" ,Take your time"- #he was about to tell the owl to lea!e when an idea ame to her" ,I(ll be at &odri (s Hollow in about twel!e hours" You an ome if you like"Hedwig bobbed her head on e before lea!ing through the window" Tonks noti ed that she(d not taken any of the water or treats"

Tonks mo!ed around the flat' shutting windows and blinds' losing in the darkness around her" Twel!e hours was a horribly long time to wait for something like this" .nd e!en though she knew that she wasn(t bound by what &inny had asked any longer' Tonks knew she would wait" #he grabbed the du!et off of her bed and urled up on the worn sofa in the li!ing room" The 8une heat that had filled the flat only hours before seemed to fade as Tonks washed herself in grief and sorrow" Now was the time to grie!e: later her work would begin" Now she ould ry and throw things and rage" #urprisingly' the anger that had ome with Harry and 7emus( deaths didn(t rise in her today" Only heart4rending grief and absolute loss poured from her heart" The tears ne!er seemed to end" 8ust when she thought she(d ried herself out' another wa!e would hit and more sobs ra ked her body" %lissfully' sleep took her only a few hours later"

Tonks was ba k in the misty forest again" The s ream she(d heard propelled her forward 3ust as a blast of orange light and hot energy pulsed in the learing in front of her" It threw her to the ground' aggra!ating the in3uries she already had" #he(d rudely healed the sli e on her side but it would need to be reopened and healed orre tly" . thi k bla k smoke hung in the air' burning her nose and throat" #he hoked a bit on the !ile taste and rawled forward" #he saw the arnage in the learing' the flames li king at the bushes' debris on the ground' the pile of smoking2something2 in the enter and the two others in the shadows" ,Harry' don(t lea!e me>Tonks( fo us turned to the ouple lying together" &inny was holding Harry(s head to her hest' ro king him ba k and forth" He was half in her lap' half out: legs spread wide and arms out to the sides" &inny ontinued to plead for Harry not to die as she ro ked and ro ked" &athering herself a bit' Tonks rou hed and assessed the area" There was no one else around so she mo!ed forward slowly' alling out to &inny as she did" ,&inny' it(s me' Tonks",/ora' he(s2he2,I know'- Tonks gasped as she knelt ne5t to &inny and got her first glimpse of Harry" ,He(s not dead'- &inny whispered as she ontinued to ro k him' her fingers roughly pushing his hair this way and that' heedless of the blood she was smearing e!erywhere" ,&inny' he is'- Tonks said gently but firmly" ,You ha!e to let him go",NO>- she s reamed" ,He(s not dead" He(s 3ust tired"He ertainly looked dead to Tonks" His skin was a pallid gray olor and his eyes were sunken dark ir les" #he hadn(t seen him take e!en a single breath in the few minutes she(d been kneeling ne5t to

the ouple" ,&inny' lo!e'- she said softly' pla ing her arms around the small redhead(s shoulders" ,I know you lo!ed him: we all did" %ut you ha!e to let go" *et him die with dignity4, #he wasn(t allowed to ontinue' howe!er' when Harry gasped for air' oughing and spluttering up blood" #he helped &inny turn him slightly as he hoked and spit the sti ky redness all o!er &inny(s lap" ,I knew you wouldn(t lea!e me'- &inny ried' holding him to her" Harry' on e he(d finally gained his breath' lut hed at her tightly and they kissed se!eral times" Tonks looked away briefly' swiping at her tears' to gi!e them a pri!ate moment" ,Not2mu h2time"- Harry(s !oi e was dry and raspy and he ontinued to ough up thi k li1uid" Tonks looked around as the learing went deadly silent and still" #he(d ne!er thought she(d e!er witness a moment where time fro9e' but this was it" #he sat ba k and wat hed Harry and &inny tou h ea h other(s fa es 1uietly" Harry had pulled himself upright a bit and now held &inny in his arms" ,I lo!e you'- he whispered and &inny smiled through her tears" ,I don(t want you to e!er forget that",I won(t'- &inny answered" Harry studied her for a moment before pressing his hand to her belly" Tonks almost bit through her lip when she reali9ed what was going on" ,You ha!e to be strong now" You ha!e to take are of our son"&inny nodded solemnly and Tonks wondered why the redhead was being so do ile" #he(d ne!er seen &inny like this before" ,*ife doesn(t end here' &in'- Harry ontinued to whisper" ,I(!e seen the other side" /umbledore was right2- he smiled wryly' ,the ne5t big ad!enture"&inny(s heeks were ompletely wet now as she lut hed onto Harry tightly" ,I an(t do it alone' Harry" You ha!e to stay with me",I an(t' lo!e" I promise you I(ll be waiting" You ha!e things to do now' &in" You ha!e to take are of the baby"- He stilled for a moment and stared off into the learing" Tonks shi!ered as she felt another presen e surround them" ,The last urse he used' &in2its killing me",No'- &inny whispered fier ely" ,It is'- Harry sighed and shuddered through another oughing fit" ,You were hit with it too"Tonks slammed her eyes shut when she reali9ed what he was saying" If the urse had hit &inny2and &inny was pregnant2 #he didn(t want to think about what that ould mean" ,I(ll go on ahead'- Harry said with a strange on!i tion" ,6hen our son is born2- he shook his head sadly and kissed &inny(s heek" ,He won(t li!e long here' &in" %ut I(ll be waiting for him"-

,Take me too'- &inny pleaded" ,I won(t go on without you"Harry lut hed at her shoulders and shook her gently" ,You must>- he said" ,He must be born here" The other pla e2I an(t e5plain' &in" %ut it(s important" He(s important there" His life will go on o!er there" .nd I promise I(ll take are of him2until you 3oin us"&inny looked deeply into his eyes and then nodded firmly" Tonks was shaken by a loud sob: when she reali9ed that she had made it' she tried to turn away" ,/ora'- Harry(s soft !oi e alled her ba k" He was laying against &inny(s hest now and she was ro king him again" There was a bit more olor to his fa e' but the dark blood all o!er his lips and hin was all that Tonks ould fo us on" It stained him like her hands were still stained with 7emus( blood" ,Harry"The orner of his mouth turned up a bit and Tonks( throat onstri ted again" ,You ha!e to promise2take are of them"- Tonks ould only nod her a eptan e" ,They need you now" 7emus2,Is dead'- Tonks blurted out" Harry half smiled again" ,Yes' but he(s with #irius and my dad"- Tonks nodded again and swiped angrily at her tears" ,He(s alright' /ora" .nd he wants you to know he lo!es you". great sob welled in her throat and she didn(t know if it was aused by grief or relief" #he wanted to belie!e Harry' really she did' but she 3ust didn(t know if she ould" ,I need you to be there for &inny and the baby",.nything they need'- Tonks nodded" Harry studied her for a moment before holding out his shaky hand" ,.n Anbreakable =ow0Tonks didn(t hesitate before lasping her hand in his and promising to take are of &inny and Harry(s son until she was released" On e the magi was bound' Harry(s eyes drifted losed but he ontinued to talk in a mu h lower !oi e" ,I(!e left you e!erything' &in" /o whate!er you want with it"&inny nodded but Tonks wasn(t sure she heard him" ,.re you in pain0- she finally hoked out and Harry smiled up at her and stroked her hair lumsily with his dirty hand" ,Not mu h" It doesn(t hurt mu h when you know it will be o!er soon"-

,.nd will I2- &inny trailed off as Harry nodded' his hand still mo!ing o!er her head" ,Yes" I(m sorry",6ill the baby2,Yes'- Harry nodded again" ,%ut he won(t feel anything' I promise" I(ll be there" I(ll hold him and you(ll feel me" I(ll arry him home"&inny sobbed and lut hed Harry to her" They ried together for a while as Tonks sat and numbly wat hed the e5 hange" ,6e(re ha!ing a son'- &inny finally laughed and Harry 3oined her through his tears" ,6e are" .nd then you(ll ome to me and we(ll be together again",6hat4what should I name him0Harry smiled but Tonks ould tell he was fading fast" His words were slow and hard to understand now" ,6hate!er you want' lo!e" There(s room in &odri (s Hollow"Tonks flin hed when she heard this" There was nothing left in &odri (s Hollow e5 ept for a ruin of houses and a dilapidated gra!eyard" %ut she knew that(s where the ;otter(s had been buried for years" 7emus had on e taken her to see *ily and 8ames( gra!es" -+!en for me0- &inny hoked out" ,For you'- Harry whispered" The two stilled for a long while before Harry opened up his eyes and fi5ed &inny with a !ery determined look" ,I know you an do this" %e strong and I(ll always be there for you" I ha!e to go now' &in",No' stay with me0- &inny pleaded 1uietly" ,I an(t'- Harry said as he tou hed her heek again" ,I lo!e you' &in"Tonks wanted to look away but was transfi5ed by the ha9y atmosphere that now entered the learing" It was ompletely pea eful now' and despite the atro ities that had happened here earlier' Tonks swore she ould hear birds hirping and a faint singing in the ba kground" The sun broke through the treetops and ast a warm glow o!er the area" Harry lay still in &inny(s lap and all was silent" Tonks awoke with a 3erk that almost aused her to fall off of the ou h" #he ried out in e5asperation as the memories threatened to o!erwhelm her" #he pounded her fist on the sofa ushion and let more tears fall" The final battle" Harry" &inny" Their son"

#he had spent the past two years prote ting all that she(d seen and heard in that learing" 6hen she(d finally been able to pry Harry(s lifeless body away from &inny' the two had held onto ea h other' either too tired or emotionally drained to ry" It had gone dark again and with a start' Tonks reali9ed that a whole day had passed without anyone finding them" #urely' the battle was o!er by now" $ingsley had been the first on the s ene some time later" He(d stood in omplete sho k' taking in the dark ir le around them and then staring at the bodies of =oldemort and Harry" Tonks 1ui kly took harge and told him that she and &inny had met up in the forest while sear hing for Harry" They had found him already dead" The seasoned .uror studied Tonks for a moment and she felt he must surely know that she was lying" Finally' he turned to &inny' who was barely standing and staring at Harry(s lifeless body" ,)iss 6easley0( &inny had turned a ompletely pale fa e' o!ered in filth and dried blood' toward him and nodded before her knees ga!e way and she ollapsed" Tonks mo!ed forward to pi k her up but $ingsley gently mo!ed her out of the way and olle ted her frail body in his arms" ,$ing'- Tonks said softly' but !ery determinedly' ,You ha!e to ha!e them seal the medi al re ords"He studied her for a moment before nodding" ,You both need treatment"Tonks shook her head" ,Take her first" I(m not lea!ing Harry(s body until someone omes for him"$ingsley looked like he wanted to protest' but nodded firmly instead" ,The 6easley(s will be along shortly" I(ll take her to #t" )ungo(s' but I(m oming ba k for you",#eal the re ords' $ing'- was all the reply she would gi!e him" The re ords were sealed' 3ust as Tonks demanded" To this day she wasn(t sure how $ingsley had managed it" #he was sure # rimgeour must ha!e been beside himself wanting to know how Harry died" 6iping her eyes' and the memories away with her tears' Tonks stood and mo!ed to the kit hen" #he(d been asleep for fi!e hours" #e!en to go' she thought de3e tedly" .BN: #o' now you all know" #ome of you Galright' most of youC who guessed' guessed right" That 3ust shows me that IDm not as le!er as I think I am" :C *et me know what you thought" 6eDll find out more in the ne5t hapter"

Chapter!: Ten"er ou'll Go

.BN: Thanks to e!eryone reading and re!iewing" I(m glad you(re en3oying the story' no matter how angst4riddled it is" #o2this hapter is mostly a ontinuation of hapter H' thus you(re getting it earlier than usual" .nother tissue warning on this one' folks" Chapter Fi!e: Tender You(ll &o #he dreamed again that night" The sun was streaming through the windows in the small house' lighting up the sunshine4yellow kit hen" Tonks sat at the table sipping from a up of tea as her mother bustled about the kit hen behind her" -He(s a beautiful baby'- she mused' and Tonks had to smile" ,Yes' he is".ndromeda Tonks sat a ross from her daughter and Tonks made the mistake of looking up at her" #he wore a no4nonsense look that a younger Tonks had always been wary of''' and found she was still !ary of@e!en as an adult" ,Thank you for oming to get me'- she said' taking Tonks by surprise" ,I know it(s hard for you to a ept help' and it makes me happy when you let me into your life e!ery on e in awhile"- #he held up her hand as Tonks opened her mouth" ,I(m not the best mother'- .ndromeda stated plainly" ,I badger too mu h and don(t praise enough" %ut I am proud of you' Nymphadora" I(m proud of you being an .uror" .nd I(m proud of what you(!e done for that woman upstairs" This an(t ha!e been an easy thing for you to do"Tonks finally found her !oi e" ,I(m 3ust a friend4, ,Hush'- .ndromeda hided with a smile" ,I(m not stupid' Nymphadora" /on(t think for one moment that I don(t know e5a tly who that is up there' or that I don(t know whose hild I helped deli!er"Tonks studied her mother for a moment" #he felt more than a bit of guilt wash o!er her at underestimating the woman a ross from her" ,I(m sorry'- she whispered and .ndromeda nodded" No other words were needed" %oth parties understood what the apology was for" ,Now' I(d better go he k on them before you memory harm me"- .ndromeda laughed at the look of sho k that rept onto Tonks( fa e" ,;lease don(t tell me how many times you(!e done that o!er the years' hild" 8ust try to lea!e a bit of my hard4earned Healer(s knowledge there when you do it"Tonks grima ed' her mind flashing episodes when she had used her mother(s help in the past and then made her forget about it ompletely" ,You(d best ome up and say goodbye to the little one'- .ndromeda said softly" #he looked up and aught Tonks( eye" ,He won(t make it mu h longer",He(s not in pain is he0- Tonks asked"

.ndromeda smiled" ,I don(t think so" He(s so tiny that I don(t dare gi!e him anything if he is"Tonks sighed loudly and wrapped her arm around her mother(s waist" ,He won(t be here long anyway" Harry promised that he(d ome for him",I(!e only seen that urse a few times" It should be an Anforgi!able'- she spit out !ehemently" ,The things it does to perfe tly sound bodies"- #he shook her head' knowing that the damage was done" The two women stilled as they rea hed the top of the steps and heard a soft lullaby from inside the darker room" The door was open and Tonks ould make out &inny sitting up in the bed" #he was still horribly pale but wore a look of omplete and utter serenity" The tiny bundle in her arms su kled noisily at her breast and &inny stroked the thi k sho k of bla k hair with her fingertip" No one spoke as &inny ontinued to hum to her hild and study his fa e' her fingers brushing o!er e!ery feature" He finally stilled and his mouth dropped sla k away from her breast' milk pooling on his tiny hin" &inny lifted him gently and Tonks rea hed forward to lose her gown for her" ,8ames .rthur ;otter'- &inny whispered as she laid the baby in her lap" #urprisingly' the edges of his mouth turned up a bit at the orners and &inny smiled down at him" ,It sounds too big for someone so small",It fits'- Tonks whispered in agreement" ,He(s perfe t'- &inny said" ,#o tiny'- .ndromeda stated as she sat on the orner of the bed" The baby(s birth had been a harrowing e5perien e" He was almost si5 weeks early' but &inny(s health had begun to deteriorate fast and on e labor began' Tonks ould do nothing to stop it" #eeing how mu h pain &inny was in' she had brought .ndromeda to help" The Healer had done all she ould' but the urse that had killed his father was slowly poisoning little 8ames as well" &inny began to hum again as she radled 8ames to her" Her breath ruffled his hair a bit and she losed her eyes" ,Harry(s oming for him'- she said and Tonks had to lean forward to hear her" ,It won(t be long now' my little 8amie" /addy(s oming",Is there anything we an do to make you more omfortable0- .ndromeda asked" #he wore a worried look and Tonks knew she hated to lose any patient" %ut knowing who this hild was must ha!e tugged at her heartstrings e!en more" ,No' we(re fine'- &inny said" They sat and wat hed as &inny ro ked her hild against her" Finally' she stilled and stared into the orner of the room" Tonks shi!ered and .ndromeda lasped a hand to her mouth" ,He(s gone'- &inny breathed" #he stilled for a moment and then tou hed the baby(s fa e again" Tonks looked hard but ouldn(t see the little hest rising and falling at all" #he looked up toward her mother

who only nodded in a eptan e"

Tonks( eyes fluttered open and she was surprised at the pea e she felt" 6itnessing 8ames( birth and death had been nothing short of a mira le" #he felt e5tremely pri!ileged to be a part of it and she always would" #he sighed when she looked at the lo k and reali9ed that it had now been o!er fifteen hours sin e the letter from &inny had arri!ed" #he lay on the sofa for a bit longer' steeling herself against what she knew was oming" The ne5t few days would not be easy and it was likely she would lose most' if not all' of her friends" . shower was definitely in order' she de ided' as well as a fresh set of robes" #he knew better than to wear her ni est set: they would be needed in the days to ome" 6iping the steam away from the mirror' Tonks willed her mousy brown hair to hange to anything remotely e5 iting" #he managed a bit of url at the ends but that was all" It had taken her almost si5 months to be able to morph again after the Final %attle" #he wondered if this episode in her life would permanently s ar her abilities" That was a loss that she wasn(t sure she ould take: her morphing was tied up in who she was at her !ery ore" On e she ouldn(t put it off any longer' Tonks glan ed around her flat and losed her eyes to .pparate" #he(d been to &odri (s Hollow three times" &inny had insisted that 7emus be laid to rest near 8ames and *ily" .nd' although they had ne!er re o!ered a body' Harry had made sure a headstone was pla ed there for #irius as well" The two other times were for Harry and 8ames' respe ti!ely" .lthough when she and &inny had buried little 8amie' they had been ompletely alone" Now she would do her duty and bury &inny with her family" The on e happy !illage seemed haunted as she walked down the rough street toward the stand of trees on the outskirts" The day was brilliantly blue' birds sang in the trees and a slight bree9e rustled the lea!es and swirled the long grasses at the abandoned home sites" It was rumored that &odri (s Hollow had on e been beautiful: a pla e where wi9ards and )uggles li!ed side by side" %ut that all hanged on the fateful Halloween night when =oldemort atta ked the ;otters" .fter the ;otters were murdered' the inhabitants of the town fled" They(d heard the ghost stories and many said they didn(t want to raise their hildren so lose to where su h e!il had lurked" #ome of the old4timers stayed' but Tonks knew that many of them had long sin e died or finally mo!ed away" The rusty gate to the small emetery was losed and Tonks hesitated to open it" This area was always so pea eful' she remembered from her other !isits' that the s1ueaking of iron on iron would disturb it" #he glan ed down the way and saw a pie e of the stone fen ing had ollapsed in on itself" It wasn(t mu h further down so she de ided that was her best option" It was ob!ious to her that no one had been in the area mu h o!er the past two years" Hardly any grass was out of pla e and ertainly none of the older gra!estones had been kept up" Off under a blossoming tree she ould see the newest additions" 8ames and *ily lay on the south side' fa ing the forest" Their

headstones were simple' adorned with only their names and signifi ant dates" #irius and 7emus had similar stones that were off 3ust a bit from the ;otters' but loser than any others" They had been pla ed on 8ames ;otter(s left side" Harry(s stone was a bla k ony5 olor with a phoeni5 ar!ed in the top" %elow Harry(s birth and death dates' &inny had ins ribed <He hose what was right o!er what was easy"( The ins ription fit Harry perfe tly and &inny had not had to think long to de ide on it" Harry(s gra!e was at his mother(s right' nearest the forest" For the rest of the world' those were the newest memorials in the emetery" Tonks' alone' ould see the smallest one" On Harry(s right lay his son" The small asket seemed foreign and insignifi ant when Tonks had lowered it into the hole she and &inny had dug" 8ames .rthur ;otter(s stone was simple and bla k as well" His name was listed as well as his parent(s names and the ins ription <He was not meant for this world2but the ne5t"( &inny had insisted on a Fidelius harm for 8amie(s gra!e as well as Harry(s" Howe!er' she had made two different se ret keepers" 6hile 7on was Harry(s' Tonks was 8amie(s" If the 6easley(s ame to !isit' they would not know of the grandson and nephew who lay ne5t to his father" Tonks stopped a few steps away and took a deep breath" .s she rounded 7emus( stone' she found &inny" #he was dressed in a plain white robe' her hair plaited softly: her body resting between her son and the lo!e of her life" Tonks sunk to her knees a few steps away and let tears take her again" &inny looked like an angel' Tonks thought' her fa e finally pea eful after so many years of suffering" #he was still horribly thin' but the serenity and lo!e that surrounded her softened the sharp angles' making her pale ountenan e take on a hea!enly 1uality" Tonks allowed herself a few more minutes of grief before standing and beginning her work" The harms were fairly simple: ones she had learned in Herbology long ago" /igging a hole re1uired far less magi than it should ha!e taken' she thought" On e the earth was remo!ed' Tonks turned ba k to &inny(s body and lay her in the on3ured asket" #he lo!ingly arranged &inny(s robes and pla ed a flower in her hand" Closing the asket was e5tremely emotional' but on e done' Tonks hurried to pla e it in the newly dug gra!e" The headstone she on3ured was identi al to Harry(s in e!ery respe t' sa!e the details" In death' Harry and &inny were on either side of their son' as if prote ting him" Tonks took a moment to replant the grass around the newest gra!e" #he noti ed that &inny had leared away the o!ergrowth from the ;otters( and )arauders( gra!es" There was a small bou1uet of pale orange lilies on ea h of them" Con entrating' Tonks ast a new Fidelius with herself as the se ret keeper" Instantly' she felt a small hea!iness in her heart and smiled before sinking down to her knees at the foot of the gra!es" ,It(s finished'- she said in a small !oi e" ,You(re all together again"- For what seemed the hundredth

time that day' Tonks ga!e in to tears" ,I wish I ould ome with you'- she said" ,I(m not sure where Hedwig went'- she obser!ed as she 3ust now noti ed the absen e of the bird" ,I hope she(ll be alright" If she omes ba k' I promise I(ll take are of her' Harry"#he sniffed loudly and glan ed at &inny(s stone" ,I kept all my promises44e5 ept the last'- she whispered" ,It might be hardest thing you(!e e!er asked of me' you know"- #he glan ed off into the trees as she thought of what she was going to say to the 6easleys" No inspiration ame" ,You two are going to ha!e to be with me when I go" I don(t think I an do it alone"- #he trailed off on that thought and let her eyes gla9e o!er" ,I(ll do my best' I promise you that'- she finally whispered" ,I 3ust want you to know2I(ll ne!er forget you" You trusted me with something ama9ingly pre ious and I want to say thank you' and23ust2- she sighed" ,I ne!er asked for anything in return and2 bloody hell' I don(t need mu h" 8ust' please' if you see 7emus2tell him I still lo!e him and2tell him to hurry up and get me",I don(t want to be alone anymore'- she whispered in a tortured !oi e" The bree9e rustled the tree abo!e her and Tonks stared up at it" ,I hope that(s your way of agreeing with me'- she hoked out in a laugh" ,I don(t know what else to say2so I guess I(ll say goodbye" I lo!e you both" .ll of you' really"The tree swayed again and Tonks waited for some feeling to ome o!er her: something that would alm her heart and would gi!e her the strength to finish what she needed to do" #he waited se!eral long minutes before standing and brushing the dirt off of her knees" #he fo used in on ea h headstone one at a time and said a silent goodbye before turning to walk out of the 1uiet and sa red pla e"

Chapter #: I$ She %a" W&ngs

.BN: 6ow' what an ama9ing response to hapters four and fi!e you all had" This pie e has been eye opening for me" ItDs made me reali9e how deeply a work of fi tion an impa t someone out there' as well as how mu h it an impa t the author" I appre iate all of the kind words and re!iews that you ha!e left" .s always' thanks to Anre1uited/ream and /ebbieO for their work on this story" Chapter #i5: If #he Had 6ings This was utterly ridi ulous" Completely mental" 7on blew out a huge breath and ruffled the ba k of his hair again' glan ing around the .lley" He was needed elsewhere" He should be home with his wife and new daughter" He smiled slightly at

the thought of that pink bundle with the urly red hair" #arah had definitely been a surprise when she(d been born only two days ago" Hermione had been disappointed' but only for an instant' when their son turned out to be a daughter" 7on se retly thought that it was be ause she had done the gender harm wrong" That thought had gi!en him mu h to smile about o!er the past few days" Hermione 6easley had messed something up" %ut 7on was thrilled to ha!e a daughter" He would ha!e been e1ually happy with a son' but deep down' he knew that the little girl would ha!e him wrapped around her fingers before the week was fully out" In fa t' he mused' she(d probably already done it the moment she opened those rystal blue eyes at him" He should be home with his family" Instead' he was out sear hing for his sister" .gain" This was twi e in a year that she(d disappeared and 7on was tired of dropping e!erything to find her" He lo!ed her' for sure' and would do anything for her" %ut it was time that she fa ed the fa ts" Harry was gone and he wasn(t e!er oming ba k" %eing depressed and lo king yourself in a flat that held nothing but memories wasn(t a way to mo!e on" It had been almost two weeks sin e anyone had heard from &inny and )olly was beginning to get franti again" #he had flooed all of her sons and demanded that they split up and sear h for the missing 6easley" #o 7on' being the e!er4faithful hild' alled his mother4in4law to ome and sit with his wife and hild' and began sear hing for his sister" Hermione felt a bit helpless but was unable to do anything more than lend moral support and ideas" #he(d finally onfessed to 7on 3ust this morning that she feared &inny was lose to a omplete breakdown" The word <sui ide( hadn(t been uttered' but 7on knew it was on e!eryone(s minds" .nd now Tonks was missing too" 7on had 3ust ome from $ingsley #ha kelbolt(s offi e where the /epartment Head had told him of Tonks( re1uest for time off four days ago" He swore that he didn(t know where she was or when she(d be ba k" He also promised that he would onta t the 6easleys the minute that he heard anything" 7on stalked down the .lley' glaring at anyone who dared get in his way" He knew he was being ompletely unfair' but didn(t really are" Two 1ui k left turns brought him to the flat abo!e the storage fa ility" He took the stairs two at a time and was surprised when he ran into %ill and Fred still huddled on the stoop where he(d left them an hour ago" He was sure that they would ha!e been inside by now" ,+r2%ill ontinued to wa!e his wand in intri ate motions and hant something under his breath" Fred shushed 7on and shook his head" ,No lu k'- he whispered and 7on s rat hed his head in frustration" He ontinued to wat h as his brothers worked on breaking the wards surrounding the door" ,6hat the hell did ;otter put on this0- %ill muttered at one point as he slid to the floor and ontinued wai!ing his wand near the bottom of the door"

,6hat is it0- 7on asked" ,It(s2layered'- %ill said as he shook his head" ,.lmost as if se!eral people ea h ast different wards" %ut I(!e ne!er seen some of these",6ouldn(t you be keyed into them' 7on0- Fred asked' raising his head to look at his tallest brother" ,You did li!e here after all"7on shrugged" ,Not those last few months" Harry2well' he wanted a bit of pri!a y"%ill stopped his motions abruptly and glared up at 7on" ,You mean he and &inny27on ould feel his ears turn red and he sighed" ,I don(t know for sure' but that(s what I think" Neither of them would say anything about it",I should hope not'- Fred muttered as he grima ed" ,#he was of age anyway'- 7on mumbled" ,You try telling her not to ome around"%ill eyed him for a moment before turning to ontinue" He ast two more spells before stopping old' his 3aw dropping open" Finally' he tu ked his wand into the waistband of his trousers and shrugged in defeat" ,6e(re not getting in here today' lads" ;otter' or someone else' put a bloody *ineage harm on the door",You mean we ha!e to get someone from his family0- 7on asked' stunned" ,That wasn(t on here before"%ill shook his head" ,It(s been modified" It would mean anyone that Harry would ha!e designated as his family",I guess he didn(t feel we were lose enough'- Fred suggested' a disgruntled look on his fa e" The three men e5 hanged glan es and 7on stepped forward" ,I should be able to 3ust open it then0,In theory'- %ull shrugged" ,%ut it looks like there may be another layer in there somewhere" I an(t know for sure until you get through this one"7on nodded and pulled his wand ner!ously" #e!eral attempts later and they were still no loser" ,%loody Harry'- 7on mumbled" ,7ight'- %ill said' running a hand through his long hair" ,I don(t think &inny(s in there" The storekeeper a ross the way said he hadn(t seen anyone ome or go for weeks"They all stood 1uietly' ontemplating what that meant"

,You don(t think2she wouldn(t2- Fred finally stopped' win ing at the thought" ,)aybe'- %ill said" ,This time of year has ne!er been good" 6e need to find Tonks'- he finally nodded" ,If anyone an get to &inny' it will be her"7on grima ed" ,#he took a lea!e of absen e from the )inistry'- he supplied" ,I ha!en(t been to her flat yet' but2,Yeah'- Fred lapped him on the ba k" ,*et(s try there ne5t" If we don(t find her there we(ll keep looking"-

The flat Tonks li!ed in had hardly any wards on it and %ill had them inside in less than fi!e minutes" -;atheti ' really' when you think about it'- 7on said as they looked around in disgust" The flat was filthy and looked slightly abandoned" There were days worth of /aily ;rophet(s strewn about on the floor near the table" %oth 7on and Fred ast fresh air harms in the kit hen as food that had been sitting out on the ounter was now spoiling" The rubbish bin in the orner o!erflowed with molding ardboard bo5es and empty take4away ontainers" Fred 1ui kly !anished the disgusting pile" -/oesn(t look promising'- %ill said as he entered the room and wai!ed his hand in front of his fa e" ,There(s no sign that she(s been here in days",7ight' where to ne5t0- Fred asked as he made his way outside" 7on followed him out and %ill re ast the wards on the door" ,Charlie and /ad he ked Head1uarters already'- %ill said with a sigh" ,I think they were mo!ing on to Hogwarts ne5t",They should he k Hagrid(s old hut'- 7on suggested 1uietly" ,He and Harry were lose and I think he and &inny were too"- The other two nodded in thought as they ontinued to walk down the street" ,I(d say we start he king the pubs'- Fred suggested with a sideways grin' ,but there are so many to hoose from",I(ll floo .berforth when we get home'- %ill said" ,I still think our best bet is to find Tonks",It(s a long shot but2there is one person who might know something'- 7on said as he looked down at his shoes" ,I hate to bother him with this though"- He rubbed his eyes harshly and then told them his idea"

.ndy Hendri kson stumbled to the door in 3ust his bo5er shorts and a t4shirt: it was almost 8uly after all" He held his wand at the ready and glan ed out the window before rela5ing 3ust a bit" It wasn(t unusual for his partner' 6easley' to ome to his house" It had happened twi e before" %ut it was strange for it to be this late at night' and to see two other redheads that looked to be related to him"

,7on0- he asked as he ra ked the door" ,#orry to bother you' .ndy'- 7on mumbled' , an we ome in0.ndy studied him for a minute before nodding and mo!ing to let them in the open door" ,This is %ill' my oldest brother and Fred' another brother".ndy nodded politely and they stood awkwardly in the small li!ing room" He finally motioned for them to sit down and rossed his arms as they did so" ,Is there something that you needed' 7on07on sighed and glan ed at his brothers before looking again at .ndy" ,6e(re looking for my sister",&inny0- .ndy asked" He(d met the small' sad woman on e sin e be oming 7on(s partner' and on e before when he(d been seeing Tonks" #he always stru k him as a tragi figure and' gi!en her past' he ouldn(t say that he blamed her" 7on nodded" ,6e were wondering if you might know4, ,6hy would I know anything about her0- .ndy asked" ,I only met her a few times".nother deep sigh and 7on looked s1uarely at him" ,. tually' .ndy' we were wondering if you ould tell us a few of the pla es that Tonks might ha!e gone in the past" If there were pubs' or hotels or2 something: anything you ould tell us".ndy nodded as the situation be ame lear" He knew that &inny and Tonks had been !ery lose" ,Tonks is missing as well' isn(t she0- he asked' ne!er meeting 7on(s eyes" ,Yeah'- 7on said' ,she is",.nd you(!e tried her flat0- .ndy felt !ery un omfortable talking about Tonks with these men" The sub3e t was still !ery sore for him" He thought that he may still ha!e feelings for her e!en after the way she(d humiliated him" 7on' his fa e now rather red' nodded" ,*ooks as if she(s been gone for days",#he used to disappear sometimes' said she was at &inny(s'- .ndy offered" ,I ne!er knew where it was' but2,6e(!e already tried there'- the older one supplied' and .ndy nodded" He finally shrugged" ,I an gi!e you a few names of pla es we went' but we really didn(t go anypla e e5 ept here and her pla e"- He knew his fa e was red at this admission' but he really didn(t are" He knew enough about &inny 6easley to know that her brothers might ha!e good ause to sear h for her" -.nything you an offer might help'- 7on said as he stood and shook .ndy(s hand" ,.nd for whate!er it(s worth2I think2Tonks may ha!e had real feelings for you' .ndy"-

The two men stood looking at ea h other for a bit before .ndy nodded 3erkily and 1ui kly on3ured par hment and a 1uill" ,I hope e!erything turns out alright'- he said 1uietly after he had handed o!er the s ribblings" ,You(re a good man' .ndy'- Fred lapped him on the ba k" ,*isten'- .ndy(s !oi e stopped them as they walked out the door" ,If you do find her2 Tonks23ust'he ran his hand through his hair roughly' ,don(t tell her I had anything to do with it"7on smiled sadly at him and nodded" ,#ure thing"-

It was after midnight when the three brothers finally returned to the %urrow" The house was dark sa!e a single andle burning in the kit hen window" 7on win ed at the familiar sight" 6hen the trio had left the %urrow in the middle of the night to begin their hor ru5 hunt' )olly 6easley had sent all three of them a horrible howler and then pro eeded to tell them that if they returned and saw a andle burning in that window' they would be wel ome home" .fterwards' 7on had learned that )olly had pawned her wedding band and se!eral other pre ious family heirlooms to be able to pur hase a ne!er4ending andle" That window had held light e!er sin e" 7on had mentioned to his mother on e se!eral weeks after the final battle that she ould now e5tinguish it" #he had turned a !ery hurt fa e to him and 1uietly said that it would burn fore!er be ause not all of her hildren had ome home" ,You two go on home'- Fred said" ,I(ll report in to e!eryone and let you know in the morning"7on and %ill both e5 hanged an5ious fa es but agreed"

The ne5t morning the entire 6easley lan' minus &inny' was seated at the kit hen table that groaned under the weight of so mu h food on it" 7on shook his head at the whirlwind that was his mother" 6hen she was in a stressful situation' she ooked" His father had told him that he had a tually gained weight while the Trio had been out hunting bits of =oldemort(s soul" Hermione was in the li!ing room breastfeeding their daughter as the rest of the family sat in oun il" ,I flooed .berforth late last night'- %ill said as he finished his glass of pumpkin 3ui e" ,He said that Tonks ame in three days ago" #aid she looked like hell: flat brown hair' dull' lifeless eyes" #he drank half a bottle of firewhiskey and refused to answer any of his 1uestions before she disappeared",Ted and .ndromeda ha!en(t heard from Tonks in months'- Charlie supplied" ,They said she stopped oming around lately and although they weren(t really worried before' they(re both willing to help" It(s

not the first time she(s disappeared"- There were nods around the table" .rthur sighed hea!ily" ,/oes anyone remember &inny saying anything about that mind healer she went to the first year0- +!eryone shook their heads" ,)aybe she went there again",.nd took Tonks with her0- .li ia asked as she leaned s rambled eggs off of baby ;andora(s hands for the fifth time" -6e ould only hope'- )olly suggested" ,)erlin knows the two of them ould both use some help",Has anyone he ked the learing0- Charlie finally asked and there was silen e" +!eryone knew e5a tly where he was talking about" ,Or &odri (s Hollow07on nodded" ,I he ked the gra!eyard first" The area has been kept up well and it looks rather re ently leaned' but I an(t be sure" There were some flowers but with the anti4wilting harms florists use now days2%ill sighed" ,I spoke to Hagrid and he he ked the learing" He says it doesn(t look as if anything(s been disturbed and he hasn(t seen anyone there re ently" .lthough' he admits that he hates going there and a!oids that part of the forest usually"#ilen e settled on the room as they all felt the hea!iness of loss on e again" ,I think we(re out of options until one of them shows up again'- .rthur finally suggested in a 1uiet !oi e" .nd' although they all hated the idea' none of them ould protest" ,I(ll keep working on the wards at &inny(s pla e'- %ill said" ,I an all in a few fa!ors and maybe see if anyone I used to work with knows of a way to break that urse",You won(t ha!e trouble getting in anymore"+!eryone in the room turned to the doorway where Tonks stood" Her hair was indeed a dull brown' her skin pale and her fa e looked gaunt' as if she hadn(t eaten for days"

Chapter ': When It Is (u&et

.BN: .lright' we made it this far" I was going to post the Dbig re!ealD today' but this little interlude4444 du ks rotting tomatoes thrown by rowd" #heesh> I was only 3oking" Tough rowd today" This is the one youD!e all been waiting for" #ome patient and some' well"""the bribes ha!e been ni e" I appre iate them" :C 6ithout further ado""" Oops' almost forgot the tissue warning"

Chapter #e!en: 6hen It Is ?uiet ,Nymphadora Tonks>- )olly rushed toward her and Tonks was suddenly worried that she was going to get hit" Instead' )olly gathered her into a huge hug and they held onto ea h other for a few minutes" Finally' Tonks pulled ba k and )olly wiped her fa e with the dishtowel that was in her hands" Tonks smiled sadly and then glan ed around at the full room' of whi h she was the enter of attention" ,I(m sure you think I ha!e a bit of e5plaining to do"- #he for ed a smile onto her fa e and then let it die when no one else mo!ed" ,.re you alright0- .rthur asked as he stood and offered her his hair" Tonks didn(t mo!e but bit her bottom lip and shrugged" ,.s well as I an be",Ha!e you heard from &inny' Tonks0- )olly finally burst out" ,No one has seen her for days"Tonks sighed hea!ily' feeling the weight of what she knew pressing down on her more than e!er now" ,&inny is2well' she(s fine now"- Chatter broke out all o!er the room and Tonks ould feel her head spin" ,*isten' I know you all ha!e things to do2but I ould really use a shower'- Tonks burst out" The room stilled again and she glan ed around hopefully" .rthur met her ga9e and nodded" ,Of ourse' Tonks" You look like you ould use a meal also" &o on upstairs and )olly will bring you up some lean robes" 6e(ll all be here when you get ba k"Tonks nodded gratefully and a!oided )olly(s ga9e as she trudged up the stairs" #he let the water run s alding hot and win ed when it hit her skin" It was good to feel something" Fi!e days" It had happened fi!e days ago" .fter lea!ing the emetery' Tonks went to the Hogshead in Hogsmeade and drank herself into a stupor" #he stumbled into the forest and mira ulously found the learing" .llowing herself one more round of tears' she fell asleep urled up near the base of the largest tree" The stillness of the morning sunshine filled her with new resol!e when she awakened" .fter sorting her memories' she had /isapparated to &inny(s flat' where she(d spent the last few days pa king &inny and Harry(s meager belongings' painstakingly marking the bo5es and leaning the flat" #he(d e!en s rubbed the walls and floors by hand" Their entire li!es were now pa ked in a handful of bo5es and sta ked in the enter of the flat awaiting their trip2to the %urrow' she guessed" #he(d only sa!ed a few things for herself" #he(d shrunk her fa!orite photo of the ouple and tu ked it in the po ket of her 3eans along with se!eral letters she(d found addressed to the 6easleys and a thi k leather4bound 3ournal" #he(d taken se!eral breaks during her pa king to read through the 3ournal(s pages and found them !ery

enlightening" &inny had kept this re ord from the time she and Harry had gotten ba k together in the beginning of &inny(s si5th year" It ontained her thoughts before and after the battle" Tonks sobbed through the se tions where &inny mourned Harry" The passages that hurt the most' howe!er' ame after 8ames died" &inny had felt her life meant nothing on e he was gone" #he(d written page after page pleading for Harry to ome and take her to be with her son" Finally' &inny a epted her loss and resigned herself to finish the work she had left to do" The last page filled Tonks with pea e" In it' &inny des ribed se!eral dreams she(d had of Harry and how he had told her he was proud of how strong she had been and that it wouldn(t be long before she was with her family again" Her ba k was now ompletely numb so Tonks relu tantly ended her shower" /raped o!er the sink was a set of faded bla k robes" #he wasn(t sure who they(d on e belonged to' but she was grateful that she didn(t ha!e to put on the worn 3eans and t4shirt she had been in earlier" #he took her time brushing her shoulder4length hair and peering at herself in the mirror before she ra ked open the door" From the top of the stairs she ould hear the faint murmurings of on!ersation and the s rape of sil!erware on plates" #teeling herself' Tonks gathered the few things out of her 3eans and mo!ed slowly down the stairs"

#he had hoped to make it into the room unnoti ed' but fate de ided that for her as well" The last stair reaked horribly and she ringed as e!eryone fro9e and looked right at her" ,I feel like a new wit h'- she 3oked but only got a few smiles in return" ,;lease take my seat' Tonks'- .rthur offered and held the hair out for her" #he nodded ner!ously and took the spot at the head of the table" ,Tea' dear0- )olly asked" Tonks ringed when she saw the already4red eyes of the 6easley )atriar h" #he hoped that she ould get through this without breaking down herself" ,Tea would be wonderful' )olly",#om9ing to eat a9 well0- Fleur offered' pushing a full plate of eggs toward the )etamorphmagus" Tonks felt her stoma h hea!e and shook her head as politely as she ould" ,Tea will be fine' thank you"- On e the up was in front of her' she took a small sip but didn(t taste anything" Ner!ous bile rose in her throat as she de ided where the best pla e to start would be" ,I ha!e some things to tell you'- she finally de ided upon" ,I(d like to say that I ha!e all the answers' but I don(t"- Her breath aught in her throat and she losed her eyes' praying for anything to help her"

#he stayed like that for se!eral se onds before what felt like a warm bree9e hit her fa e" The alm she(d only felt on three different o asions washed o!er her on e more" #uddenly' it was as if she were ba k in the learing hearing Harry(s final words' or in the room wat hing &inny ro k her son for the last time' or at the gra!eyard kneeling in the green grasses" #he knew she ould do this: the words that she(d been sear hing years for were all in her brain" . alming breath e5ited her lungs and filled her with energy that hadn(t been there before" #he rea hed into the po ket of her borrowed robes and produ ed a small !ial of lear li1uid" ;la ing it on the table in front of her' she looked up and into the eyes of e!eryone present" ,I(ll take that if you need me to: I(d prefer not' but if that(s what it takes for you to belie!e me2The group e5 hanged glan es as Tonks looked around" .rthur and Hermione were the only ones whose eyes stayed onstantly on her" It was only now that Tonks noti ed the small bundle in Hermione(s arms" *ater' she thought' as she pushed the 1uestions to the ba k of her head" ,I don(t belie!e that will be ne essary' Tonks'- .rthur said 1uietly" Tonks met his eyes for a moment and was instantly grateful to the soft4spoken man for his trust" ,Okay'- she nodded" Her hands lasped in front of her on the table and she leaned forward a bit in the hair" It seemed the only thing to do was start at the beginning" ,.fter I left 7emus on the battlefield I mo!ed into the forest" I didn(t reali9e it then' but I think something was drawing me there" I rea hed the learing 3ust after Harry destroyed =oldemort" Things were still on fire and a horrid smoke was in the air" I found &inny holding Harry(s body off a bit from the enter"- #he glan ed up when )olly(s sobs began" #e!eral of the other women were rying as well and the men had !ery hard looks on their fa es" ,I thought he was already dead'- she said and then looked up again" ,%ut I was wrong" &inny knew he hadn(t left yet" I think he was 3ust un ons ious' or something" .nyway' &inny and I talked for a minute or two" I was trying to on!in e her to let go' that Harry was dead" In the middle of all of this' Harry woke up' or ame ba k' or2- #he breathed out deeply and stared down at her lasped hands" ,&inny was rying and he told her that he hadn(t died" That he(d seen the other side and that death wasn(t really what we all thought it was: that it was like another life o!er there" He mentioned something about .lbus being right"- Tonks took a 1ui k sip of her tea and waited for the alm to fill her again" ,He was horribly pale and he oughed up blood and he looked like he(d already died2- Tonks shook her head and ontinued" ,He told &inny he was dying' that the urse he(d been hit with was killing him"- #he smiled a bit here" ,&inny begged him to take her with him' but Harry said that she still had work to do here",&inny had been hit with the urse also' but not fully as Harry had" #he(d 3ust entered the learing when it hit Harry"- )olly(s wail pier ed her thoughts and she stopped for a moment as .rthur omforted his wife" It was then that she reali9ed that %ill and Fleur(s hildren were not there" #he was

grateful' as they would ha!e understood mu h more than she would ha!e wanted them to know" ,You told the )inistry that you and &inny had found Harry already dead'- 7on a used" Tonks looked into his eyes and ould see the hurt there" #he knew he regretted not being there for his best friend' and would arry that burden around with him fore!er" #he nodded" ,6e lied"- 7on opened his mouth to ask another 1uestion but Hermione(s hand on his shoulder stopped him" The two e5 hanged glan es and Tonks was grateful that they were willing to hear her story out" 6hen )olly(s rying subsided' Tonks ontinued" ,Harry told &inny that her time would ome' and it wouldn(t be long' but that she had things that she needed to do"- #he took a deep breath before looking up dire tly at .rthur who was still holding his wife" ,&inny was pregnant when Harry died"Tonks had e5pe ted outbursts and angry words at her admission' but none ame" .rthur seemed to sear h her fa e for a moment before he set his 3aw and nodded 3erkily" #he was suddenly stru k by how mu h &inny had looked like her father" Charlie ba ked away from the table and mo!ed o!er the lean on the firepla e' his hands pressing on the mantel" %ill turned to his wife who whispered something in Fren h" 7on and Hermione e5 hanged glan es and' somehow' Tonks thought maybe they had suspe ted something' or knew more than they too had let on" Fred and .li ia seemed lost in their own thoughts" ,If &inny was hit with the urse'- Hermione started in a small !oi e' ,then the baby2Tonks nodded grimly" ,Harry told her it would be a son and that he would only li!e a little while")olly sobbed into her husband(s shoulder loudly but Tonks ontinued" ,He told her that she had to be strong and that their son was needed on the other side: there was something important for him to do"Tonks glan ed o!er at the sun streaming in the window" ,It was then that I knew that &inny understood him2really understood what he was saying" #he was so alm and2a epting: like she(d known it would happen deep down"- #he shook herself a bit and then ontinued" ,Harry told her a few more things2personal' pri!ate things" Then he alled me o!er and asked me to help &inny"- #he made eye onta t with .rthur again' feeling like he was the one who would lead this family to understand her story" ,I made an Anbreakable =ow with him" I promised to prote t &inny and their son' and to do anything &inny asked of me until she released me",That(s why you lied'- 7on said 1uietly' as if it had finally made sense to him" Tonks nodded" ,That(s why I(!e done almost e!erything I ha!e o!er the past two years: to prote t them all" 6e stayed there in the learing until Harry left" It was the most2beautiful and re!erent feeling I(!e e!er felt in my life" In the end' we(d been there for twel!e hours or more" $ingsley was the first to find us and I on!in ed him to ha!e the hospital seal the medi al files" 6e obli!iated all of the Healers and nurses" No one ould know about the baby' and no one ould know about the urse" I(d heard of the things that were tried to treat it' but I didn(t want &inny going through that" .nd she didn(t either"#he sighed again and drank from her tea up" ,.fter the whole mess of the funeral and all' &inny had to

lea!e" #he was almost three months along by that time and was beginning to show" I found a house in 6ales' not far from &odri (s Hollow" I pla ed the Fidelius Charm and mo!ed &inny there",#he didn(t really go to a )ind Healer'- %ill nodded thoughtfully" Tonks snorted slightly" ,#he didn(t need one" #he was still grie!ing' yes' but I(!e ne!er seen someone understand and a ept their fate more fully" #he was !ery alm and olle ted about the entire thing" The pregnan y wasn(t easy either" #he was so si k that I had to take a lea!e of absen e from the )inistry so I ould be with her",6hy0>- )olly finally broke through" Tonks had a hard time looking into her red' watery eyes" ,6hy didn(t she ome to us0 None of us would ha!e 3udged her' and we ould ha!e helped",I an only tell you what I know' )olly" Honestly' I asked &inny se!eral times but she would only say that she had her reasons"- )olly studied her with tear4filled eyes before looking away" ,I think she wanted to spare you from seeing her like that",The birth was2horrifi " #he went into labor si5 weeks early and we ouldn(t stop it" I finally had to get help" I brought a Healer who helped her" I thought at the time' and &inny onfirmed it later' that Harry was there in spirit form" There was this2presen e in the room" .s soon as it entered' &inny almed and the birth progressed easier",8ames .rthur ;otter was born at 3ust after )idnight on 8anuary 1Ith"- Tonks smiled sadly" ,8amie was a beautiful baby' but so tiny" He weighed less than fi!e pounds" He was all ;otter' though: thi k bla k hair and so like Harry" I ne!er got to see his eyes losely' but &inny said they were green"#he glan ed up to see e!eryone in the room wiping tears away" ,He li!ed until mid4morning" &inny was able to hold him and to e!en nurse him on e before his little spirit slipped away" 6e all felt Harry !ery strongly then2and maybe others too"- Tonks shi!ered 3ust a bit thinking that she might be feeling them all now" ,6e buried him ne5t to his father in &odri (s Hollow",%ut we(!e all been there'- Fred protested" ,There were no other gra!es"Tonks turned to look at him" ,You remember when &inny insisted on the harms to hide Harry(s resting pla e0- 7e ognition took pla e in his eyes and Tonks knew that he understood her point" ,&inny had a hard time after that" I think she thought she would go with 8amie" #he didn(t want to li!e anymore" It took a week or so for her to ome around and to start to feel again" /uring that time' she ame up with plans for the different Foundations to handle the money that Harry had left her" #he told me that Harry would ha!e appro!ed' and that it should benefit as many people as it ould",#o she went to work'- Tonks said plainly with a proud smile" ,#he gathered herself and did what she needed to do"-

,6hat about the urse0- Hermione asked" ,#urely you both resear hed it and2,6e did' while we were in the house and &inny was onfined to bed rest'- Tonks interrupted with a smile at Hermione(s predi tability" ,.dfero morbus'- she added softly" %ill' .rthur and Hermione all gasped" ,It(s a !ery old urse that literally auses disease' spe ifi ally a form of an er' to in!ade another(s body" There is no ounter urse and no ure" The only treatment is a series of potions that attempt to kill off diseased ells in the body" It(s truly morbid what they put these patients through'- she said with a sad shake of her head" ,The potions are almost worse than the disease" No' we reali9ed that nothing ould be done" &inny didn(t want anything done" #he didn(t know how mu h time she had but she didn(t want to spend it in #t" )ungo(s' or ha!e people ho!ering o!er her",%ut she looked so healthy'- 7on shook his head' ,right up until the end when she 3ust looked rather thin",#he was always gifted at Charms'- %ill said thoughtfully" He turned to Tonks" ,That(s how she did it' wasn(t it0 Charms of illusion0Tonks nodded" ,#he was an artist at it" .nyone looking at her would ne!er know" I was the only one who saw her without them on",6as she in pain0Tonks onsidered .rthur(s 1uestion and de ided to answer truthfully" ,.t the end there was 1uite a bit" 6e both got !ery good at brewing numbing and pain relie!ing potions",.nd little 8amie0- )olly hoked out" ,6as he2did he ha!e2Tonks smiled sadly at the thought of the tiny life" ,The Healer said he wasn(t in any !isible pain" I personally think that Harry ame and took him before the pain ould start" He ne!er looked the way Harry did'- she looked down at her hands again' ,or &inny at the end"- There seemed to be a olle ti!e sigh around the table" ,&inny did alright until this last 8anuary when it all hit her again" I he ked on her and told her we(d take her ba k to the house if she needed" #he refused' saying that she(d ne!er set foot there again" That was a rough week",/id she2- Fred shrugged and Tonks guessed at what he was asking" ,#he thought about it' she may ha!e e!en been really lose a time or two" %ut something happened: I think Harry appeared in a dream to her"- Tonks shrugged" ,#he wrote about it in her 3ournal' but I didn(t feel entitled to do more than skim o!er it",I remember that she seemed to ha!e a renewed sense of purpose'- Hermione mused aloud" ,#he did her best and most wide4stret hing work in the last si5 months'- Tonks agreed" ,.nd is she2- .rthur didn(t stop the tear that es aped and oursed down his heek"

,Fi!e days ago'- Tonks said softly" ,#he passed in pea e' lying on Harry and 8amie(s gra!es"- #he had already !owed to herself that she would ne!er admit that &inny had been alone when she died" ,I ompleted the things she asked me to do: buried her in &odri (s Hollow' pa ked and leaned the flat she and Harry shared' and ame here to tell you"Immediately' the burden of what she had 3ust di!ulged ame rashing down on her shoulders" #he felt immensely relie!ed' but also thought maybe that she was allowing two years of grief to finally hit her" ,I(m sorry'- she hoked" ,I ne!er wanted to lie to you" %ut I lo!ed them' so mu h that I ouldn(t not do what they asked" They needed me and2I needed what they had to gi!e" The only reason I(!e stayed as sane as I ha!e is be ause little 8amie and &inny needed me",I wouldn(t blame any of you if you ne!er spoke to me again" I know I hate myself' surely you should too'- she said softly as she retrie!ed the slightly tattered letters and 3ournal from her po ket and pla ed them on the table' wa!ed her wand and reinstated them to their original si9e" There was silen e in the room and Tonks win ed' taking it for the worst possible sign" ,6e don(t hate you"It was Charlie' speaking for the first time all morning" His ba k was still toward her and Tonks stared at the broad e5panse of his shoulders" They had always been friends in s hool" ,You should",%ut we don(t'- he said firmly as he turned around" His heeks were wet and his eyes were red when he looked at her" ,.nd you shouldn(t be so hard on yourself" You made a !ow",You prote ted our &inny and our2grandson'- .rthur said with a thi k !oi e" ,For that we will be fore!er grateful"Tonks ould feel her lip start to tremble and she len hed her 3aw tightly" #he ould only nod in answer" ,Can you take us there0- )olly asked through tears" Tonks nodded" ,I an" It(s beautiful right now' the trees are full and the grass is fresh and risp",/id you2did you take any pi tures0- )olly asked again a slightly hopeful yet doubtful look on her fa e" ,Of 8amie0- Tonks felt a well of sympathy for the woman who would ne!er see her grand hild" ,No' I(m sorry" 6e thought it best if no one knew of him" &inny said he looked 3ust like Harry(s baby pi tures",%ut2the Healer'- 7on inter3e ted" ,You said you used a Healer"Tonks ould feel herself blush and she shrugged one shoulder" Charlie snorted out a bit of dry laughter" ,You obli!iated your own mother0- For 3ust a moment' the tension was broken as awed eyes wat hed her with a bit of amusement" Only the 6easleys' she thought

with a wry internal smile" ,Had to' didn(t I0- she asked" ,It(s not the first time' and she knows that something happened" #he(s alright with it",6ow'- Fred breathed" ,8ust2wow",/on(t get any ideas'- .li ia growled at him as she bumped his shoulder with hers" ,I think'- .rthur began and then stopped' running a hand o!er his fa e" ,I think we(d like you to take us there' Tonks" 6e need to ha!e2some sort of memorial' for the two of them"Tonks nodded in understanding" ,.s long as it(s pri!ate".rthur nodded" ,6e(ll ha!e to release some sort of statement' &inny was a rather publi figure",*et me handle that' /ad'- %ill said softly" ,I(m sure Hermione ould help me put together something2lingering in3uries from the Final %attle or some su h thing"- Hermione nodded her a eptan e" .nother hea!y silen e settled on the group" ,Tomorrow then'- .rthur agreed" ,Can you all make arrangements for work' like you did this morning0- +!eryone nodded and he ontinued" ,6e an release the statement in a few days when we(!e done our own grie!ing",It(s 3ust so2final'- 7on omplained" ,#o hollow",I don(t know whi h way would ha!e been better'- Fred said" ,I would ha!e wanted to say goodbye2,%ut you wouldn(t ha!e wanted to see her that way'- Tonks added knowingly" ,.nd that(s the way she wanted it" #he wanted your memories of her to be the feisty girl who ni ked brooms out of the upboard at night to tea h herself to fly' not of her looking2like she did' so si k and pale"#he sighed la9ily' feeling the la k of sleep at hing up with her" ,In a way' she died on that battlefield" In her ase' it 3ust took two years for it to take effe t" #he wasn(t the same after Harry died' not e!en when 8amie was born" #he lo!ed him' but seeing her holding that baby and ro king him2that wasn(t the &inny that any of you knew"- They all seemed to need some time to ponder this" Tonks finished her old tea and stood" ,I need to get some rest" I(!e been up sin e2well' sin e she died' really",You should stay here'- )olly said firmly' wiping her tears 1ui kly and adopting the no4nonsense approa h that had made her well known" ,I ha!e a flat' )olly",It(s a bit of a mess' Tonks'- Fred smirked"

,Yeah'- 7on agreed with half a smile' ,How anyone an li!e like that2Tonks narrowed her eyes" ,6hen ha!e you been in my flat0- Three sets of !ery guilty eyes met hers" ,I see: took it upon yoursel!es to break in' did you0- They all shrugged and she sighed loudly" ,Fine' it is a disaster" .re you sure you really want me here0- Tonks asked )olly" ,;ositi!e'- )olly responded" #he smiled for the first time that day" ,I(ll ome with you to gather a few things'- Charlie suggested and motioned to the ba k door" Tonks studied him for a minute' and then de ided not to argue with him: she really didn(t ha!e the energy" ,6here did you get the =eritaserum0- Charlie whispered onspiratorially" ,Ni ked it from the /epartment of )ysteries'- Tonks said with a smirk" .BN: You didnDt think I ould lea!e without saying something about my betas' did you0 Thanks to Anre1uited/ream and to /ebbieO" *et me know what you think' please" /id the hapter li!e up to its hype0 .nd' no' the story is not o!er" 6e ha!e one more hapter left"

Chapter ): I'll Carry ou %o*e

.BN: .t the end of the hapter" Ohhh' grab some tissues' folks" Chapter +ight: I(ll Carry You Home Tonks lay in &inny(s old bed in her hildhood room' staring at the faded wallpaper that had ne!er been &inny(s style" 6hen &inny li!ed here' the small pink and purple flowers were o!ered by ?uiddit h posters' photographs of family and friends and a few aging letters" Now the room seemed in mourning" .ll the olorful' !ibrant e!iden es that a wonderful and feisty young woman had li!ed here were gone" Only white la e urtains and hipped white furniture remained" #he wondered how many tears &inny shed in this room: how many times had she ursed Harry(s name in one breath and then praised him in the ne5t0 How many dreams had she dreamed of a future that wasn(t meant to be2at least in this life0 ;assages from &inny(s 3ournal haunted Tonks" They(d been simply written' yet so profound in their beauty that she had struggled to understand them" &inny wrote that Harry !isited her while she was pregnant with 8amie' and espe ially during the birth" #he said the pea e of his presen e had o!erwhelmed her' washing o!er her like rain on a summer day" #he ould e!en smell the s ent that a ompanied him: the s ent that was uni1uely Harry" He(d held her while she birthed their son" Tonks remembered the alm and almost serene attitude that ame o!er &inny 3ust before 8amie was

born" It was definitely a stark ontrast to what had been only hours before" %ut Tonks didn(t know that feeling" No one had e!er ome for her" #he resented that a bit" #he wondered if it was only Harry who was able to do that for the woman he lo!ed" )aybe it had to do with the prophe y' or destiny' or whate!er it was that Harry had gone on to do" The %urrow was 1uiet now' e5 ept for the reaking of the old walls in the slight bree9e outside" It was well past midnight" Tonks had returned with Charlie after gathering some of her own lothes and toiletries" #he(d taken are to gather the new dress robes she(d bought the other day and smirked at her foresight to ha!e bought them at all" Charlie had raised an eyebrow at them but hadn(t said anything" In fa t' he(d only grunted a few replies to her 1uestions all day" %esides )olly' he(d been the most adamant that she eat and take are of herself' pla ing full plates of food before her and glaring a ross the table when she wasn(t taking a bite" #he wasn(t sure how to take this" #he and Charlie had always been friends in s hool: some would ha!e e!en said they were best friends" .nd while she had on e felt a mild attra tion to him' he(d ne!er shown that he felt anything more than friendship for her" Now he seemed o!erly on erned' and it was 3ust2unner!ing" #he losed her eyes' listening to the way the late 8une bree9e rustled the willows near the pond and made the rosebush s rape the side of the house 3ust below &inny(s bedroom window" #leep laimed her as she thought of pale pink wallpaper and the family grie!ing around her"

The meadow was warm' e!en though the bree9e on her skin made goose pimples shoot out all o!er her arms" There was not a loud in the sky and Tonks felt the silliest urge to fling her arms out to the sides and spin around and around in a ir le like she(d done when she was a little girl" Feeling 3ust a bit foolish' she glan ed around' but ouldn(t see anyone" #he began walking instead' toward some trees at the far end of the long' wa!y grass' but' somehow' the trees got further and further away" . bit annoyed' Tonks glan ed o!er her shoulder at the grey and gloomy area behind her" It looked like a huge storm was oming" %la k louds billowed and rolled through the sky' asting shadows on the edge of the meadow" Tonks kept walking' somehow knowing that she had to es ape that darkness" Her pa e pi ked up a bit as a rolling sound hased her and lightning flashed behind her" The trees finally seemed to ome loser and she ould hear the birds alling out to ea h other" The babble of a stream e hoed somewhere in the distan e" Apon rea hing the trees' Tonks looked o!er her shoulder again at the storm" It seemed to stall a bit as it sat on the edge of the green grass: not mo!ing forward' but building in intensity" It was then that Tonks heard !oi es" . ting on .uror(s instin ts' she swung around' rea hing to pull her wand' reali9ing a moment too late that her wand wasn(t in its usual holster" #he was slightly horrified to find herself dressed in a simple pale purple sundress and white leather sandals" #he didn(t wear dresses often and this parti ular one had been binned 3ust after the Final %attle" It held too many memories of 7emus"

The !oi es sounded again and Tonks went on alert" .ll around her were tall' thi k trees' low undergrowth and !arious splashes of olor in the form of wildflowers" . well worn path ut through the foliage" The sound of laughter and happiness made her take a step forward' holding out her hand in an almost hopeful gesture" .lthough she knew it might be stupid' she ouldn(t help herself from mo!ing along the path" The !oi es were so lose that she ould almost make out what they were saying" . number of steps later found her deeper in the wood than she had originally wanted to go" Curiously' the further in she went' the lighter it be ame until she had to hold her hand in front of her fa e to see where she was going" The !oi es grew from a few to a handful and then to a rather large rowd" Tonks wondered what she was walking into' but ouldn(t stop herself no matter how she tried" .ll thoughts of the building storm fled on e she entered the trees and now she ouldn(t see any e!iden e of it at all" 6hen she finally stopped walking' she had to bra e herself on a small tree to keep upright" . large host of people stood in a bright learing" In the enter was Harry' his arms held open wide as &inny ran to him" They embra ed and Harry swung her around" Those wat hing lapped' and laughed' and ried as the lo!ers were reunited" Tonks felt tears well in her eyes" The two embra ed and kissed repeatedly' seemingly obli!ious to those around them" . sob welled up in her hest wat hing the e5 hange" Tonks tore her eyes away' only to fall to her knees" Fa es she(d only seen in pi tures surrounded them" . man who looked too mu h like Harry to be anyone other than 8ames ;otter lapped his hands and wolf4whistled" He looked older and more distinguished than in the photographs she(d seen: there was e!en a bit of graying at his temples" Ne5t to him a gorgeous woman with long auburn tresses elbowed 8ames' although she smiled largely at him" This must be *ily' Tonks( mind registered" . !ery young looking #irius stood on 8ames( other side" Tonks hadn(t e!er seen him this leaned up" 6hen he(d li!ed at &rimmauld ;la e' his hair was long and rather unkempt and he(d go days without sha!ing" The thin' haggard appearan e of his fa e had disappeared now as well" He and 8ames shared a mis hie!ous look and *ily mumbled something to them both that Tonks ouldn(t hear" It must ha!e reined them in for they stopped in any forward motion and glan ed sheepishly at her" Time seemed to stand still as Tonks ga9ed around the ir le of people" #he(d not seen many of these fa es in years" #e!eral that she had worked in the Order with but had ne!er really known were there" Near the ba k' Tonks saw a figure she was ama9ed she hadn(t seen before" Holding a huge polka4dotted handker hief to his nose was a larger than life Hagrid" . small man sat on his shoulder and Tonks wondered if it was Hagrid(s father" He(d shown Tonks a photograph of the man on e when Tonks was in s hool" Two heads of red hair aught her attention and she started to see ;er y and &eorge 6easley on the far side of where Harry was still greeting &inny enthusiasti ally" ;er y frowned a bit at the publi display of affe tion' but &eorge was grinning ear to ear and lapped his older brother on the shoulder' ausing ;er y to step forward to keep his balan e" ;er y turned to s owl at &eorge' but it didn(t last long as the two were soon smiling at whate!er &eorge had said" Tonks thought &eorge might ha!e aught her eye for a moment' but her attention was drawn ba k to the enter as a small boy ran from the rowd and wrapped his arms around Harry(s legs"

Tonks( breath aught in her throat as the toddler turned his fa e upward and grinned at Harry" Harry returned the smile and stooped low' swinging the boy up into his arms and turning him toward &inny" 8amie had grown up" He was a beautiful boy with a thi k head of bla k hair and a rooked smile 3ust like his father" The boy stu k a pudgy finger in his mouth as he onsidered &inny for a moment before turning to sear h Harry(s fa e" It seemed as if he(d figured it all out as he opened his arms to his mother and &inny gathered her son in to her body on e more" Tonks laughed through her tears as Hagrid(s loud ries e hoed around the learing" #he was startled to see a thin white hand hold out another handker hief to Hagrid" The man it belonged to had always stood out in a rowd' but ne5t to the half4giant' he had gone !irtually unnoti ed" .lbus /umbledore looked younger than Tonks had e!er seen him' whi h wasn(t saying mu h as he still sported the long white hair and beard" He wat hed the reunion of the small family with a !ery satisfied smile on his fa e and that reassured Tonks more than almost anything ould ha!e" #he was startled when the lear blue eyes settled on her for a moment" He nodded in a knowledgement and Tonks ould only return it" Her eyes drifted toward the ;otters again and she was stunned to find almost e!eryone in the learing looking dire tly at her" Try as she might' though' she ouldn(t get her legs to mo!e her forward" 8amie was ba k in his father(s arms again' finger in his mouth' wat hing her with a look of deta hed uriosity" Harry said something to the boy softly as &inny wrapped an arm around his waist and 8amie glan ed at his parents before holding up his hand softly and pointing to where she stood" &inny wiped at her own tears and nodded before the boy broke out in a huge smile' showing off the few white teeth he had in his mouth" Tonks felt the tears run down her heeks but didn(t stop them as she lifted her hand in greeting" On e again' time seemed to stand still and the others faded away a bit' lea!ing only Harry' &inny and 8amie in a ha9y sort of distan e" Harry met her eye and an understanding surpassing any words lodged itself in Tonks( heart before he wrapped an arm around &inny(s shoulders and the three mo!ed off into what remained of the rowd" One by one' others seemed to fade out until only one remained" #tanding ompletely alone' his hands stuffed deeply into the po kets on his worn 3eans' stood 7emus *upin" He seemed to fidget a bit and glan ed o!er his shoulder where Tonks ould 3ust make out the outlines of 8ames and #irius" They ea h lapped their friend on the shoulder and faded ompletely" 7emus stayed where he was but looked dire tly at her now: his eyes seeming to pier e her soul" #he(d desperately missed that look o!er the past two years" Only 7emus looked at her that way: as if he knew e5a tly what she was feeling' e!en when she wanted to hide or deny it" Tonks wanted to greet him' but words seemed e5 essi!e" He was here" .nd she was here" .nd2she understood"

He lo!ed her' and he always would" #he lo!ed him' and she would ne!er stop" He was all right" .nd she would be one day soon" #he wanted to 3oin him but he shook his head and glan ed down at the forest floor before meeting her eyes again" It was the same look Harry ga!e &inny when she(d begged to go with him: the look that meant &inny still had work to do" 7emus was telling her that her work was not yet finished' e!en if she belie!ed it was" They stared at ea h other for what seemed like hours' neither mo!ing although the tension and frustration was building for them both" Finally' a pale shadow pla ed a hand on 7emus( shoulder and Harry ame into !iew again" He and 7emus e5 hanged words that she ouldn(t hear before 7emus nodded on e and ga!e one parting look at her" Harry stayed and wat hed the older man fade away" Finally' he turned ba k toward her and his !oi e e hoed through the trees" It was strange' be ause his mouth ne!er opened" ,You did e!erything I asked and I an ne!er say thank you enough",You don(t ha!e to'- Tonks replied in a soft !oi e' somehow knowing that Harry would hear her" ,He(ll always be with you"- Tonks nodded and swiped at the tears on her fa e" ,He lo!es you",I know" I lo!e him'- she whispered" ,You ha!e other things to do' /ora"- Harry looked off into the woods" ,It(s not your time yet"Tonks on e again felt a well of frustration" ,There(s nothing left for me here",You(ll know when you(!e found the right thing'- Harry(s !oi e said and he smiled" ,/amn you'- she whispered harshly and ould ha!e sworn he laughed" ,He(ll be with you'- he said again as he began to fade" ,.nd it(s alright to mo!e on' you know" ,Tell him not to take too long'- Tonks growled and Harry(s laughter e hoed as he faded away" The birds began singing again" #he found herself walking ba k through the meadow' the bright green grass ti kling her bare al!es and at hing in her sandals" The dark louds that she(d run from originally were mo!ing away" They were still !isible' but their fier eness had lessened and Tonks wasn(t afraid of them anymore"

The pressing heat of mid4morning awakened her" Tonks was disoriented" #he blinked se!eral times and frowned at the sti ky' sweaty feeling of being in bed too long and too late in the day" #unshine poured in the warped window at the foot of the bed and Tonks stared a moment at the dust parti les as they

performed their ustomary dan e in the bright light" Now that she was fully awake' she wondered how she(d e!er slept this long" The noise of the %urrow seeped in the losed door" Hea!y footsteps pounded down the stairs and another hurried set thumped ba k up them" ;ipes groaned in the bathroom down the hall" #he heard the muffled ry of a baby@7on and Hermione(s' Tonks( mind registered after a moment" The hea!y s ent of ba on' dark toast and sweet tea permeated the air" It was all so2normal2that Tonks felt she should pin h herself" Had it been a dream0 Could she lose her eyes and find more than two years had erased' and e!eryone she lo!ed still ali!e0 )aybe she ould warn them all" Crossing her fingers' Tonks pressed her eyes shut as tight as she ould" .fter ounting to ten she opened them and sighed hea!ily' feeling more than a bit foolish" #he was o!er thirty years old' after all' not si5" )emories of the dream swirled in her brain and Tonks breathed deeply' wishing for the oolness of the summer learing she(d !isited" 6as it only a dream0 It seemed too real' too poignant to let fade away ompletely" The bittersweet emotions left hiding in her heart were too similar to what &inny had des ribed in her 3ournal" It must ha!e been real" .t least' that(s what she de ided to tell herself"

Tonks per hed herself against an an ient stone as far from the gathering as she ould" Time had worn the writing away so that it was unreadable now" The headstones in this part of the gra!eyard were older than time' she thought" The day was beautiful" Tonks rested her head ba k on her shoulders and s1uinted up at the bright sky" High abo!e' making la9y ir les around and around' she ould see a white bird" ,6at h o!er them' Hedwig'- she whispered to the air" The 6easleys were grouped around the three bla k headstones" They(d re1uested that Tonks hange &inny(s name on hers to &ine!ra )olly 6easley ;otter and she(d omplied with a smile" #he knew it wasn(t for the press or the world' but be ause they all belie!ed that was who she was" #he(d always belonged with Harry" )olly ried and fussed with flowers and then ried again the whole time the family was there" 7on and Hermione spent a few minutes kneeling by #irius( and 7emus( gra!es and then at 8ames and *ily(s" Tonks had been for ed to turn away" #he felt a bit like an outsider' although she knew it was silly" #he had as mu h right as anyone to be there" The gra!eyard was still' and more than a bit warm' and Tonks shifted in her hea!y purple robes" #he(d pulled her dull brown hair up for the day in a sign of respe t and she ould feel a tri kle of sweat run down the ba k of her head and down into the ollar of the robes" It looked as if the gathering was breaking up some" %ill arried both of his boys' one on ea h arm' and headed out of the emetery with Fleur behind him"

He passed where Tonks was leaning against the headstone and stopped briefly" ,Thank you' for all that you did for them"- His !oi e broke and a glan e at his eyes showed them watery blue" Tonks felt her fa e heat and she shook her head" ,I didn(t do all that mu h",You did'- Fleur protested with a s owl" *etting her eyes slip to the side' Tonks shrugged" ,.ny of you would ha!e done the same" It was me be ause I happened to be there",No"- %ill(s tone was sure and strong" ,It was you be ause you were strong enough"There was a surety in his eyes that made Tonks feel like maybe what he(d said was true" ,You(re all a epting this2I 3ust didn(t e5pe t2,Its denial' or maybe sho k'- %ill denied' his eyes resting on his parents" Tonks nodded' knowing what he said was true" The anger and 1uestions would ome soon" #he took a deep breath" #he would be ready' e!en if she didn(t ha!e all of the answers" 6hen she turned to answer him' %ill was gone' walking off down the path with his family" #he turned ba k to wat h the rest of the 6easleys" Fred and .li ia were holding hands and ;andora was sleeping against her father(s shoulder" )olly seemed to be saying her final goodbyes as she knelt by &inny(s tomb" .rthur had his hand on the tiny stone in between Harry and &inny and Tonks felt a bit guilty at ha!ing met his grandson when he ne!er would in this life" The round fa e of the toddler in her dream last night ame to her and she on e again felt it was more than a dream" #lowly' she made her way around the obsta les of stone and o!er to where the rest of the family wat hed" 7on and Hermione met her a few steps away" 7on radled their newborn and Tonks reali9ed she hadn(t e!en ongratulated them yet" #he smiled sheepishly at them" ,I ne!er said2well' ongratulations",It(s alright'- 7on returned her smile' although it didn(t 1uite rea h his eyes" ,6e understood",#o' it was a girl after all"Hermione and 7on both hu kled" ,Yeah' I guess there(s a time for e!erything'- 7on said with a sideways glan e at Hermione" ,#he was bound to do something wrong on e in life' right0Tonks smiled as she looked down at the fa e with the ginger urls on top" #he seemed so mu h larger

than 8amie had been and Tonks was mesmeri9ed for a moment" ,#he(s lo!ely",Thank you'- Hermione said" ,Tonks' we were wondering2- #he trailed off for a minute as )olly broke down again after trying to walk away from her daughter(s gra!e" ,Yes0,6ell' we were planning on naming her #arah *ily' after Harry(s mother" 6e wanted a strong name and we(!e always heard these stories about how strong a woman *ily was"Tonks ouldn(t help but let her eyes rest on the grey stone with the name on it" ,I think that(s lo!ely",6e were'- 7on said" ,%ut sin e yesterday2we(!e hanged our minds"- Tonks raised an eyebrow in 1uestion" ,6e were thinking of naming her #arah &ine!ra instead"Tonks knew they were serious and it made it e!en harder to keep a straight fa e" ,#he(d hate that you know"7on smirked" ,)aybe that(s why I think it(s perfe t" #he and I were always ha!ing a go at ea h other" I 3ust get the last laugh"Tonks smiled' mostly to herself" #he had read enough in &inny(s 3ournal to know that it was' in fa t' &inny who would get the last laugh as the family mo!ed on with their li!es" +a h of their &ringotts( a ounts would be o!erflowing with gold !ery soon" ,/o you think that(s the best reason to name your hild after someone0,#he was the strongest person we(!e e!er known'- Hermione said softly" ,.nd we didn(t e!en know it",That she was'- Tonks agreed with a smile" ,I think it(s a good idea",.nd2- 7on(s ears turned bright red and he looked away" ,6e were wondering if you(d be her godmother' Tonks"Tonks was sure not mu h in this world ould stun her anymore' but then she hadn(t ounted on being asked a 1uestion like that" 8amie hadn(t li!ed long enough for them to onsider anything of the sort and &inny had ne!er mentioned it" ,I2er' that is2,You don(t ha!e to answer right away'- Hermione suggested" ,8ust think about it" 6e wanted someone who ould tea h her all about her .unt &inny and you knew her best of all of us"Tonks nodded when she ouldn(t for e her mouth to make words" #he stared off into the distant trees

and 7on and Hermione drifted away after the eldest 6easleys" Now ompletely alone' Tonks took a few steps toward 7emus( gra!e and knelt there" ,Is this what you had in mind' you onni!ing old man0- she asked with a smile through tears as she tra ed the deep letters" ,This is the work I ha!e to do0There was no answer: not that she had e5pe ted one" Harry had told her she would know when it ame to her" #trangely' this felt right" )aybe it was be ause she(d been taking are of &inny for so long' and 7emus before that" )aybe she was44really' really deep down44the motherly type" #he shuddered slightly at the thought" #he ouldn(t e!er see herself with hildren of her own" Then again' she wasn(t sure she(d e!er mo!e past 7emus" ,.lright'- she finally whispered" ,6e(ll gi!e it a go' yeah0 %ut don(t think you(!e gotten the last word in this 7emus *upin"- #he was silent for a moment and then stood' brushing off the knees of her robes" The 6easleys were 1uietly mo!ing down the road away from the emetery and Tonks followed them at a onsiderable distan e" ,He was a good man"Charlie(s deep !oi e aught her off guard and Tonks had her wand out and pointed to him before he ould say anything more" He grinned and held up his hands in surrender" ,#orry'- she mumbled as she re4holstered her wand and ontinued to walk" Charlie fell into step beside her and tu ked his hands deep into his 3eans po kets" His dress robes were open at the front and it stru k Tonks as amusing that he wore omfortable 3eans under his ni est robes and to a funeral of all things" It was so typi ally Charlie that it was almost bittersweet" ,He was a good man'- she agreed and they both walked together" ,*isten' I don(t mean to sound2well'- Charlie began and then rubbed the ba k of his ne k" Tonks felt a bit surprised when she glan ed o!er at him and saw the 6easley red ears" ,If you e!er need to talk to someone' I wanted you to know I(m here"Tonks grinned down at her shoes and then glan ed ba k o!er her shoulder at the gra!eyard" #he ould still see 7emus( headstone" ,/amn you' 7emus'- she said to herself' but she ouldn(t stop smiling" The old wolf always had to ha!e the last word" The +nd