A Free Online Novel

by Jennifer L. Armstrong
They were just a harmless group of friends trying to run a fidelity agency when, without warning,
they found themselves thrown into the fantastical world of concentration camp survival...
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
PINK GIN
EPISODE ONE
Scene O!
Setting" The #hec$%&ate office.
#lio is reclining on a couch staring gloomily at a bottle of nail polish on the small table
beside her. &itchell is idly s$etching hieroglyphics in a noteboo$. 'enry is steadfastly reading
(ibbon)s Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. The Pirates of Penzance soundtrac$ is playing in
the bac$ground. 'ow 'enry is reading with the very model of a modern major general discussing
animals, vegetables and minerals, we don*t $now. !linor is at her des$ sorting through some papers.
They are all in their early twenties and well%dressed in clothing reminiscent of a leisured
class. !linor and #lio are both pale with dar$ hair but whereas #lio is voluptuous and eye%catching,
!linor is slim and proper%loo$ing.
&itchell has light brown hair, a nose that is longish, and a chin that is a little too sharp. 'is
chief hindrance in attracting women, however, is not his loo$s, but his somewhat indifferent
personality.
'enry has golden brown hair that casually falls into a distinctively rugged face, reminiscent
of +obert +edford, or on good days in the right light, a young ,rad -itt. 'e has a loo$ that suggests
action and adventure which is ironic considering his chief joy in life is reading. .pon closer
inspection one realises he is bordering on pudginess.
#lio" / am utterly and absolutely bored. 'ere / am lying on a tastefully dull couch from Sears,
staring at a pastel peach ceiling when / would be far more suited to a divan in a Tur$ish harem
surrounded by eunuchs fanning my feet and bringing me e0otic little cigarettes.
&itchell 1loo$ing up from his e0ercise boo$ of hieroglyphics and smiling2" 3ou only wish that
couch was from Sears. 3ou $now 'enry and / pic$ed up all this stuff from (oodwill. Oh and by
the way, / thin$ !linor is trying to tell you that it)s your turn to ta$e out the garbage.
#lio" 4hat boo$ is that5
&itchell" Sir 4allis ,udge*s one on hieroglyphics.
#lio" /t)s full of errors, darling. (et something newer. / have several good boo$s / could lend you.
,esides, why are you learning hieroglyphics5
&itchell" Just in case / ever find myself in the hypothetical position of having to be able to decode
2
some scribblings on an ancient wall in order to save myself and possibly a small group of tourists
from some sort of doom.
1!linor, now standing behind her des$, points to the chart she has drawn up with all the duties
around the office, their names rotated wee$ly to accomplish them, in a vain attempt to appeal to
#lio)s sense of responsibility.2
#lio 1waving her freshly%painted nails at !linor2" #an*t do it, darling. &en notice chips and
smudges on the nails. A genuine pic$%up is generally well%groomed...
!linor" /t)s your turn6
#lio 1sincerely2" +eally, darling, /*d love to. ,ut we must put our work first. There*d be no garbage
if we didn*t go out there and seduce all those unsuspecting people...
1As the two women argue, &itchell pic$s up the giant green bag, slings it over his shoulder and
hauls it out into and down the shabby humid hallway to the garbage dumpster outside the bac$
door.2
&itchell 1tal$ing to himself2" 'ow can this hallway be so stuffy5 /t opens right onto the street. 'ow
can a bag of garbage that supposedly only contains coffee grinds stin$ so much5 And why do /
always end up doing this5 e0t wee$ when it)s my turn to ma$e the coffee, / just won*t. Thatll
show her...
1After dumping the bag in the dumpster he returns to the office and to his des$.2
#lio" Oh than$ you, darling. 3ou really are a pet.
1&itchell sighs.2
#lio" 4hat are you on for tonight5
1/t is a one room office and all of their des$s face each other thus ma$ing fre7uent conversations
inevitable.2
&itchell" othing too unusual. 1'e is opening a drawer and pulling out a file, a bottle of gin and a
tiny flas$ of vermouth.2 -ossible gay husband. / hate those ones because usually the woman is
wrong and / end up running for my life with ten angry homophobics after me. &artini, anyone5
1'e reaches for a couple of martini glasses on the boo$case behind his des$ and carefully places
them on the red file folder on his messy des$. +ed is for gay men. The only other colour in his
drawer is yellow for unfaithful wives. !linor and #lio have all of the blue folders, unfaithful
husbands. Once there had been a man who had suspected that his wife was a lesbian, so after
scrounging around for another colour !linor had eventually gone ne0t door to as$ the telemar$eting
3
set%up for a green one. 4hy !linor had wanted green &itchell didn)t $now. -erhaps it was
reminiscent of idyllic days lounging around Lesbos with Sapphos and the gang.2
#lio" Sure. 1She is blowing on her fingers.2 Ten5 That*s a lot of homophobics.
&itchell" 4ell, li$e ta$e my last victim. 1'e)s pouring some gin into each glass, pleased to see
!linor glance up from her wor$ and watch him with her steady grey eyes.2 'e tells his wife he*s out
playing pool with his buddies. She doesn*t believe him, of course, or why would she hire us5
Anyhow, / follow him after wor$ and sure enough, he really is just out playing pool with his buddies
but / decide to chec$ him just to be sure. 1&itchell carefully adds the tiniest hint of vermouth to the
gin.2 So here*s me trying to pic$ him up, discreetly from a distance, smiling, intense eye%contact,
various signals /*ve pic$ed up on my travels around town, until finally he gets the message and
instead of judiciously ma$ing his way over and giving me his phone number, he alerts his buddies,
his very large buddies, / might add, to the fact that there is some guy trying to pic$ him up and then
they all decide that to beat me up would be more fun than pool, and a lot cheaper. / gathered that
there had been some serious betting going on...
1'aving mi0ed the drin$s with his silver mail%opener, &itchell brings one of them over to #lio.2
!linor" (ood thing you can sprint. 1She returns to her paperwor$.2
'enry 1loo$ing up from his boo$2" A hundred metres is my limit in situations li$e that. Then / just
have to pray for a cab to miraculously appear.
#lio" -ool with his buddies5 -ool with his buddies5 1She sits straight up in her chair.2 4hy does
that sound so familiar5
!linor 1not loo$ing up2" ,ecause he*s yours tonight. +odney -helps, age 89. 'is wife thought he
might be gay because he hasn*t touched her in five years. ,ut in the event he didn*t fall for +upert,
she wanted us to send a follow%up girl.
1&itchell snic$ers.2
#lio" 4hat56
&itchell" othing 1'e is rearranging the papers in his file with one hand and 7uaffing his martini
with the other.2
#lio" 'e*s ugly, isn*t he5
&itchell" 4ell, / wouldn*t say ugly e0actly because / mean, sometimes ugly people have an
attractiveness all of their own...
1&itchell returns the file to his drawer and retrieves a yellow one.2
4
#lio" ,ald5 'e*s bald5
&itchell" ,ald5 1'e thin$s about this.2 3es, / suppose you could say he*s bald. #ertainly he is not
burgeoning with hair. ,ut bald isn*t the word that leaps to my mind when / thin$ of +odney
-helps.:
1'e opens the file folder.2
#lio 1slowly2" 4hat word does leap to your mind5
&itchell" The word that leaps to my mind when / thin$ of +odney -helps is...1&itchell pauses.2
Sweaty. / thin$, sweaty. And this is even before he chased me.
#lio" Sweaty5 1She)s still hopeful.2 As in muscular and toned and sweaty after a good wor$%out5
&itchell" Sweaty as in a nervous pig being led to the slaughterhouse. 1'e says this absently as he
e0amines the papers in his new file. 'e has an e7ually unappetising prospect awaiting him. The
gay husband turned out to a closed case. There had been a post%it note in the folder, in !linor*s neat
handwriting, saying that the wife had found letters in her husband*s des$ confirming her worst fear
so she no longer needed their services. ,ut now &itchell has a re7uest from an ;< year%old =yle
4aters who suspects his young and swinging >? year%old wife of cheating. 'er favourite hang%out,
the bowling alley.2
1!linor*s cat, -ump$in, saunters into the room but before #lio can roll off the couch to play with him
'enry has commandeered him onto his lap and is absent%mindedly petting him as he reads.2
'enry" That &a0iminus... 1sha$es his head, not loo$ing up from his boo$2 4hat a fellow6 4hat a
fellow6
#lio 1in an effort to lure -ump$in off 'enry*s lap begins to hum2" Oh well ! ne"er was there e"er a
cat so cle"er...
1'er singing is too hard to continue with the (ilbert and Sullivan still playing in the bac$ground.
There are some grapes in a crystal bowl on the coffee table. #lio tries a few.2
#lio" These grapes taste li$e salami.
'enry 1loo$ing up2" Salami5 Those grapes happen to be a special breed imported from &orocco
that cost over five dollars a pound.
#lio 1rolling over onto her stomach2" / thin$ of a breed as being cattle.
1-ump$in jumps off of 'enry*s lap and comes over to sniff #lio*s hand.2
#lio" Oh little pump$in6 1-ats his head and spea$s in baby%tal$.2 &y little pump$in6 1She sits up
5
so that she can pic$ him up and pet him on her lap. She is ma$ing funny faces to go along with the
baby%tal$.2 'e*s a little pump$in6 'e*s a cute little pump$in6
1-ump$in begins to purr.2
!linor" 'e*s going to bite you. 4hen he starts purring it means he*s going to bite you.
1Sure enough, a few seconds later -ump$in nips one of #lio*s fingers.2
#lio" ,ad little pump$in6 1She lets him jump off her lap.2 Oh this is so #oring$
Scene T4O
Setting" Same day. @our o*cloc$. The little office $itchen. !linor, #lio, &itchell, 'enry, and
+oderic$ are having tea. +oderic$, the fifth employee, has just arrived a few minutes earlier with
some fresh scones from the ba$ery which they are having with butter, jam, and Aarjeeling tea.
+oderic$ is taller and thinner than both &itchell and 'enry and although he is not always a
dependable employee, partially due to parental demands, his wavy blond hair and guileless blue eyes
usually get him as far as he needs to go in their profession. One woman, upon being caught, had
referred to him as the man with the :aBi good%loo$s.: 'e, &itchell, 'enry, #lio and !linor had
formed #hec$%&ate upon graduation from the .niversity of Toronto. As Ancient 'istory &ajors,
none of them were fit for the real world of stoc$%bro$ers, salesmen, chartered accountants, #!Os
and administrative assistants.2
!linor 1to +oderic$ as she pours the tea2" So what did you do today5
1One gets the sense that !linor, with her shoulder%length hair and subdued floral dress, in any other
time period would have been a wife. The man she married would have been irrelevant, so long as
he was in the upper middle class. #lio, on the other hand, with her long dar$ hair and sensuousness,
in any other time period would have been a courtesan, but having been born in the early twenty%first
century is just a young woman who, if she*s had a lot of lovers, has gotten nothing tangible in
return.2
+oderic$" -ic$ed up her dry%cleaning. ,ought some tulip bulbs. -laced an order at the ba$ery for a
ca$e for my father*s birthday party. ,ut the mater and pater feel that /*m beyond the age of receiving
an allowance, and feel that / should be joining the toiling masses. @or some reason they don)t
consider trying to pic$ up errant mates a legitimate job. / may have to do some temp wor$ on the
side.
&itchell" Toiling masses, my eye. One or two days a wee$ of filing and flirting with middle%aged
secretaries.
+oderic$" onsense. / e0pect it to be very =af$aes7ue. A dreary job and a writing career. 4ell,
6
maybe not writing, although, / do li$e the idea of wor$ing on a novel. /t gives one a sense of
purpose. Li$e if my characters were #atholic / could start going to mass just to see what it*s li$e.
,ut maybe /)ll ta$e up painting, or something. Or maybe /*ll just apply myself and go all the way to
the top. 'ave you ever noticed how the people at the top and bottom of the corporate ladder have
very similar jobs in that they do very little and just spend a lot of time loo$ing busy5 /t*s the people
in the middle who do all the wor$ and $eep the company going. ,y the way, did you get your
invitation5
&itchell" St. &i$e*s annual5 Tomorrow night5 3es / got it. 3ou guys 1parado0ically this remar$
is directed to the girls2 are so luc$y you weren*t born boys to attend St. &i$e*s. .ntil high school, /
thought it was normal to eat gruel for lunch everyday and to be beaten up by /talians who thought
uniforms were for faggots. 'ow that reconciles with their persisting interest in fascism /*ve never
figured out.
'enry" And the torture continues with an annual evening of gas%inducing food, banal conversation,
followed by appalling coffee. Still, / suppose we must support the old school. / hear this year the
funds they raise are going towards replacing those orange vinyl chairs in the dining hall.
+oderic$" (oodness6 Then it would be positively cruel of us not to support the cause.
1Tea being concluded, they resume their wor$. 'enry returns to his boo$, this time occasionally
muttering about the brilliance of some #aesar*s ability to upset conventional methods of warfare.
&itchell returns to his hieroglyphics. !linor puts on the %oseph and the &mazing Technicolor
Dreamcoat soundtrac$ but this time #lio has +oddy to amuse her. And amuse her he does by
producing a pac$ of &emory cards which they play until it is time to either go home or out on a
pic$%up. 4e follow &itchell as he ta$es a bus to the bowling alley, enters, discreetly pulls out a
photo, surveys the room and spots his woman.
+ose 4aters loo$s innocent enough. 'er friends are as e7ually mature as her and all seem
to be serious bowlers with no plans to later hit the coffee bar in search of some alternative action.
&itchell orders a coffee and has a seat on one of the stools overloo$ing the alley while he decides
what $ind of approach would best test &rs. 4ater*s fidelity. /t must be a direct hit and not
something that could be mista$en for a friendly chat since ideally, they try to get the whole
encounter on a tape so that their client would $now they weren*t misconstruing their spouse*s
response to a pic$%up.
'e twists around on his swivel stool absent%mindedly watching +ose 4aters when suddenly
he realises that +ose 4aters is e0amining him6 She has caught his eye and isn*t turning away. She
smiles. &itchell 7uic$ly focuses on his coffee. Aoes she suspect5 o, of course not. She had just
seen a man casually loo$ing at her and had chosen to smile rather than glare.
&itchell ta$es a sip of coffee and tries to decide at what point it wouldn*t be noticed if he
loo$ed up again. 'e tries to listen for sounds from her particular alley that would indicate that
everybody*s attention was on the game. 'e can*t hear any of the women*s voices but then a bowling
alley is as noisy as a stoc$ mar$et crashing.2
+ose 1brightly2" 'i there6
7
1&itchell jumps. She is standing in front of his stool grinning. Cuic$6 (et the tape going6
Aiscreetly he reaches into his poc$et and presses the play button while &rs. +ose 4aters ta$es the
stool beside him. 'er two friends have ta$en a booth close by obviously to observe the encounter
without interfering with it.
&itchell" .h, hi6 1'e smiles2
+ose" ,uy you another coffee5
&itchell" .h, no. Oh... 4hy not5 Sure.
1&rs. +ose 4aters signals to the girl behind the counter to bring them coffee.2
+ose" So, you li$e bowling5
&itchell" .h, no. / mean, yes. 1@rom the e0pression on his face this isn*t the way it)s supposed to
happen. 'e)s supposed to be moving in on her. And her6 Aoes she thin$ she has a chance5 +ose
4ater with her mess of curly grey hair and amused eyes is hitting on him as if she were #leopatra
seducing a young +oman soldier6 She does have sensuous lips though % soft and carefully painted in
a virtuous summer garden shade of pin$, li$e a rose petal. &aybe if &itchell were fifty years
olderD2
+ose" Are you meeting someone5
&itchell" .h, no.
+ose" Just hanging out5
&itchell" ,asically, yeah.
1The waitress brings them their coffee and then comes out from behind the counter to serve +ose*s
companions.2
+ose" &aybe you*d li$e to bowl with me and my friends5
&itchell" Truthfully ma*am, /*m not much of a bowler. 1'e is wondering if this constitutes a pic$%
up. 4ill =yle 4aters be satisfied with this much52
+ose" Oh c*mon6 A young good%loo$ing guy li$e you5
1&itchell fails to see how his loo$s would affect his interest in bowling. This is definitely a pic$%up.
Still, might as well ma$e it e0plicit.2
8
&itchell 1jauntily2" /*m not as young as / loo$6 1'e win$s.2
+ose" / bet you $now all the tric$s6
&itchell" / bet / could teach you a few. 1'e suggestively leans toward her.2
+ose" Any time in the near future5
&itchell" /*ve always thought now is the best time in the world. 1'e grins2 Tell you what, /)ve got
a car out in the par$ing lot, a blac$ 'he"y. &eet me out there in a few minutes and /*ll ta$e you
wherever you want to go.
+ose" 4hy a few minutes, blue eyes5
&itchell" E#os the coffee)s gone straight through me. 1'e stands up and ambles towards the
bathrooms which are conveniently located near the front door. #asually he glances over his
shoulder. &rs. +ose 4aters, her bac$ now to him, has joined her friends in the booth and is
obviously recounting the whole encounter with great jubilation. ,oth women are focused on +ose
4aters. 'er coffee cup, untouched, cooling, remains on the counter. &itchell ma$es a run for it.2
Scene T'+!!
Setting" The evening of St. &ichael*s annual dinner, the ne0t night. A hotel lobby. &itchell, 'enry
and +oderic$ are in tu0edos. !linor and #lio are in slin$y coc$tail dresses. They are all
ridiculously over%dressed. !linor and #lio have decided to accompany the men to the hotel where it
is being held and drin$ coc$tails in the lobby bar.
!linor" This loo$s promising. 1She is e0amining a discreet sign that says The Pink (ady.2 /t loo$s
li$e a spea$%easy.
#lio" O=, let*s do it. /*m dying for a drin$.
&itchell" 4e*ll join you. 1To +oderic$ and 'enry2 4e)ve got time.
1They enter and find themselves in a dim room with small tables, half%filled with people.2
#lio" Let*s go to the bar. @aster service.
1They ta$e stools at the bar. &itchell, +oderic$ and 'enry order a brandy.2
#lio" A pin$ gin.
,artender" A pin$ gin5 1'is tone of voice is a sarcastic, E)cuse me*2
9
#lio" A pin$ gin. 1#lio gives him a loo$ that mothers give their children when they*re only
pretending to be stupid.2
,artender" /s that a coc$tail or some $ind of gin5
1#lio sighs.2
#lio" Oh just ma$e it a bloody gin and tonic.
!linor" Same for me. 1She is twisting around in her seat to survey the pin$ and blac$ decor.2 4ell,
this is interesting... 1She contemplates the room for awhile.2 Sort of #oco #hanel. There*s a lot of
men here...
#lio" 4hat*s this5 1The bartender has just put down a drin$ in front of her.2
,artender" A bloody gin and tonic. / just added some tomato juice. / didn*t $now you could do
that.
#lio" Oh my... 1#lio is at a loss for words.2
1The men laugh. !linor glances at her drin$, doesn*t recognise it as being a gin and tonic and so
decides it must be for someone else and can therefore be safely ignored.2
&itchell" 4hat mastery, what brilliance, / tell you. 1'is tone indicates he is continuing a
conversation.2 / amaze myself. / actually wor$ed it so that she tried to pic$%up me.
!linor" And how did you do that5
&itchell" /t*s this tric$ / have. The way / raise my eyebrows at a woman. /*ve never met a woman
who hasn*t fallen for it.
#lio" There*re two in this room.
&itchell" /t*s my secret weapon, darling. / certainly wouldn*t waste it on you two. ,y the way, how
was &r. -helps, #lio5
#lio 1loo$ing pleased with herself2" Aeliciously unfaithful. / had an e0perience very similar to
yours. +e pic$ed me up and we had a very nice chat over many beers before / made my e0it via the
bathroom window. And you were wrong, &itchell. 'e wasn*t at all sweaty.:
&itchell" Are you sure5 4here*d you meet him5
10
#lio" /n the pool hall. Same place as you. / wore my little red dress...
1Although #lio)s informal wardrobe consisted of jeans and oversiBed sweaters everyone can see
from her current attire what she is capable of doing when she wants to seduce a man. The principal
word is tight and the operative colour is red. /n a world of muted shades of blac$, brown and grey,
#lio usually arrives in a room li$e the stolen gift of fire from the gods.2
And you were right. 'e and his friends were very large. 1#lio)s eyes widen with awe.2 4hen he
rolled up his sleeves / nearly died his arms were so muscular. Thin$ +amses the (reat here.
&itchell" 4ait a second6 ,uscular* Are we tal$ing about the same +odney -helps5
#lio" 4ell he said his name was +odney. And he fit your description of being homophobic
because he called the bartender a fairy when he didn*t bring him a beer fast enough. As a matter of
fact, that*s how / pic$ed him out.
&itchell" 4hat about the photo5

#lio" / didn*t have a photo. 3ou still have it. ,ut / figured he wouldn*t be too hard to spot based on
what you had told us about him...
1&itchell has pulled out his wallet and is rapidly rifling through it. @inally he finds what he)s
loo$ing for.2
&itchell" This is +odney -helps. 1'e hands a photo to #lio.2
#lio 1ta$ing the photo2" Oh dear. 'e is sweaty, isn*t he5
!linor 1ta$ing the photo from #lio2" This is, of course, not the man who pic$ed you up.
#lio 1agreeably2" o. /t is not. This man is more reminiscent of a eunuch in the court of +amses
the (reat. /n addition, my +odney loo$ed about fifteen years younger than this man.
!linor 1sighing2" 'e probably was fifteen years younger than this man.
#lio 1cheerful2" 4ell, in any case, / have the whole thing on tape. &aybe my +odney*s wife would
be interested in $nowing her husband*s unfaithful.
!linor1holding up the photo2" Aid you happen to notice this +odney -helps when you were there5
1#lio carefully re%e0amines the photo.2
#lio" 3es, / thin$ / did. 'e was at a corner table.
11
1&itchell nods an affirmation.2
!linor" 4as he with anybody5
#lio" Just two other men.:
!linor" Aid he loo$ at you5
#lio" 'e glanced at me. !veryone did. 1#lio smiles modestly.2
!linor" ,ut did he in anyway indicate that he was going to ma$e a move on you5
#lio" Oh no. Just loo$ed, that*s all. 'e stayed with his table.
!linor 1opening up her purse and pulling out a small notepad and pen2" (ood. / thin$ we can safely
tell his wife that he*s O=.
Scene @O.+
Setting" Same evening. ,an7uet room in the hotel filled with men. &itchell is seen joining 'enry
who is tal$ing animatedly to their former grade three teacher, &r. =ane, a thin older grey%haired
man.
'enry" +eality5 4ho wants reality5 1'enry, holding an empty glass, is obviously onto at least his
third glass of wine despite this being only the pre%dinner reception.2 / read a newspaper once. All it
was was people $illing each other in some !ast !uropean war, a serial rapist who terrorises his
victims with a switchblade and children getting molested by their uncles. / mean, all this stuff
happens in the boo$s / read but at least it*s been disinfected by history. !ssentially / try to thin$
happy thoughts. As for a career, /*m 7uite happy where / am now.
1A waiter passes by with a tray of drin$s. 'enry grabs another glass of wine.2
A lot of people consider trying to pic$ someone up just to prove how fragile fidelity is a sic$ job.
1'enry ta$es a gulp of his fresh drin$ to emphasise his point.2 ,ut it*s better than, say, wor$ing
outside. / get my regular coffee brea$s this way. And it doesn*t involve computers. 4e probably are
the few people that have actually found a career that doesn)t re7uire computer%literacy,
telecommunication proficiency, or any technological $nowledge whatsoever which is good because
/ really don*t $now much about computers. / mean, / $now everyone*s using them, but /*m not really
sure as to why...
+oderic$ 1who has suddenly appeared behind them2" / rather suspect it has something to do with
international espionage. 3ou see it in the James ,ond movies. #omputers run the world.
/nformation is power. 1/t is apparent that he too is a little bit drun$. &r. =ane rolls his eyes and
12
moves on. +oderic$ and 'enry barely notice.2
'enry" 3es, but for the average man...
+oderic$" Oh, the a"erage man. 1+oderic$ holds onto 'enry*s shoulder to steady himself.2 4ell,
the a"erage man is something else all together. 'ey6 1'e sha$es 'enry*s shoulder.2 Old ,allsy 1he
is referring to their former fourth grade teacher, &r. ,allane2 thin$s /*d ma$e a good model. ot
high fashion, or anything. &ore along the line of uniform catalogues. Aid you $now there was such
a thing5 1'e loo$s at 'enry and &itchell to see if they share his surprise.2 3es, apparently it*s a real
thing. 1'e nods to 7uash any disbelief.2 Lots of companies ma$e their employees wear uniforms
and so they have these uniform catalogues to show the employers what their employees would loo$
li$e in a uniform, if you follow me. 1+oderic$ grabs a glass of wine from a passing waiter.2 &ight
give it a go, eh5 1'e downs the wine in one gulp.2
1ot surprisingly, we see later that +oderic$ is as$ed to leave the alumni dinner with 'enry offering
to escort him. &itchell assumes the responsibility of retrieving and accompanying #lio and !linor
home.2
Scene @/F!
Scene" The ne0t day. The #hec$%&ate office. They are not discussing the previous evening.
/nstead they are discussing se0. +oderic$ is standing behind a card table ma$ing them a fresh batch
of gin fiBBes.
!linor" 3es, but is it sadomasochism or is it simply a desire for a guide and mentor5 /t*s a common
theme in literature %% the wild woman tamed by a dictatorial man who $nows what he wants and
ta$es it. /s this deviance or is it natural5 The woman wants to be guided, the man is a hunter.
otice / didn*t say, the woman wants to be guided, the man wants to guide or the woman wants to
be hunted, the man wants to hunt. / thin$ men and women are at cross%purposes in many cases and
it*s reflected in their se0uality.
+oderic$" 3es, but... 1+oderic$ starts most of his statements this way whether he agrees with the
previous statement or not. .sually he doesn*t even pay attention to the previous statement.2
.nattainability is a factor. ,oth se0es are attracted to the unattainable, or what they thin$ is
unattainable, and they both react differently when they actually attain something. A woman is
happy to obtain the unattainable whereas a man is unhappy, shattered even, and often runs. /f not
physically away, certainly psychologically. 1'e begins to distribute the gin fiBBes.2
!linor" o. A woman is not happy to obtain the unattainable. She*s e7ually li$ely to run.
'enry" ,ut it*s ingrained in a woman to stay to the bitter end. /f she*s running away, it must be for
fear of her own se0uality. She*s afraid of her own desires and the implications.
13
!linor" Or maybe she*s afraid of her lac$ of desire.
1!linor)s cat wanders into the room.2
+oderic$ 1loo$ing at the cat2" The most se0ual being is, of course, the cat. ,y se0ual being, / mean,
that it is ase0ual but able to inflame a sense of frustration e7ual only to the frustration of a fruitless
con7uest. /f you call out to a cat, it will loo$ in the opposite direction with an e0pression on its face
that says, / hear someone calling me but / can*t for the life of me imagine where it*s coming from.
3ou $eep calling it. /t $eeps loo$ing everywhere but directly at you. @inally, you*re down on the
ground with your face right in front of its face saying, here / am, here / am. And it loo$s at you with
complete contempt. 3ou poor pathetic thing, it says. And you realise, you*re down on your $nees,
face practically on the ground, bum in the air, begging for this little creature*s attention. 4hat could
be more se0ual than that5
'enry" One sees the se0ual connotations, certainly, but it could also be perceived as a war tactic.
The cat*s behaviour is a model for how to behave if caught by the enemy. 4ith complete oblivion.
'e is protecting himself from responsibility of $nowledge...
+oderic$" 3es, but love and war are so interconnected. 4ar is merely the desire of one party to
dominate the other. 4hy read long lists of what men want and what women want when you can
read the battle strategies of Ale0ander the (reat5
'enry" / do read the battle strategies of Ale0ander the (reat. 1'enry leans forward, about to
elaborate.2
+oderic$ 17uic$ly2" ,ut phallic pride. That*s a whole other issue.
1There is a pause as they all wait for him to continue.2
That was it. That was my point.
#lio" / thin$ the fundamental problem with men is that they)re so literal%minded. 3ou tell them
something and they believe it. /t ta$es all the fun out of tal$ing. 3ou can)t spea$ cryptically. 1She
e0amines her fingernails.2 / desperately need a manicure.
!linor" / thin$ /*m going to get one of those alpha%hydro0y face peels.
+oderic$" 'ow much do they cost5
!linor" / dunno. ,ut if it wor$s it*d be worth it.
'enry" 4hat*s it do5
!linor" #larifies your s$in. !vens the tone.
14
'enry" 3our tone loo$s even.
!linor" /*m wearing foundation. /*d li$e to be able to wa$e up with an even tone.
+oderic$" 4hat*s wrong with hiding behind a mas$5
!linor" 4ell, if / were ever stranded on a desert island without my cosmetics it would be a problem.
/ hate those movies where people are stranded on a desert island and they continue to loo$ amaBing.
/ mean, / use so many things on my face alone %% my gel cleanser, a balancing toner that tightens my
pores, a well%being fluid with sunscreen for the day, an alpha%hydro0y rejuvenating cream for the
night, a delicate eye cream to prevent wrin$les... And that*s not even getting into my actual
cosmetics. 1!linor senses that she has lost their interest and decides to change the topic.2 #lio and /
had a great idea. othing to do with cosmetics. 4e want to start a @emale +enaissance.
1#lio leans forward, suddenly ta$ing an interest in the conversation.2
'enry" Oh, really5
!linor" 3es. / mean, thin$ about it. There*s been an /talian +enaissance, followed by a (erman and
an !nglish and a @rench +enaissance, all pretty male%dominated. There was a ,lac$ +enaissance in
'arlem. There was almost a Jewish +enaissance in !urope just before 4orld 4ar // but obviously
didn*t flourish in the concentration camps... So, anyhow, why not a @emale +enaissance5 /deally, /
thin$ the whole feminist movement should have spawned some sort of +enaissance to combat the
mediocrity of it all. / mean, loo$ at so many women stuc$ temping. /s that what women are going
to do all their lives5 @ile and do data%entry5 /f / had been born G8H years ago / would have been
allowed to stay home and do needle%point and coo$ and read whatever / want instead of having to
do something productive, e0cept that it*s really only productive in the sense of productive for
society, a society created and built by men. So why shouldn*t women have a chance to reinvent
civilisation from a female point of view5 / mean, right now we*re just trying to fit into a man*s
world. 4hy shouldn*t we create our own new world5
#lio" !0actly6
+oderic$ 1agreeably2" 4hy not5
#lio" /t*s li$e !linor and / were saying. 4e thin$ women have a &essiah comple0. They*re loo$ing
for a man to save them from themselves. 4hen you loo$ around, there are no wise woman to guide
us out of this mess because all the woman we $now are either completely absorbed with men or
with their careers. ot with life. Ao you $now what / mean5
1+oderic$, 'enry and &itchell nod.2
So we thought, why can-t we #e the wise women*
15
1+oderic$ nods again as if that were the correct conclusion.2
And that*s what we want to do, be wise women.
&itchell" 'ow "isionary.
!linor" / was thin$ing about it more and how in the ,ible, in the Old Testament you have priests
and how in the ew Testament you have deacons and ministers, however in both Testaments you
have prophetesses. See...: 1!linor leans forward in her chair.2 &en are administrators. Of course,
some men are prophets and they, li$e the prophetesses, are in a special class apart from mere
administration. @urthermore, / thin$ #hrist*s ministry is a tantalising glimpse of the abolition of the
patriarchal system. &en may continue to uphold the system but are warned that in the ultimate
reality of salvation, there is neither male nor female, Jew nor (ree$. The slaves weren*t freed, the
(ree$s didn*t become Jews, the women didn*t become men because they all still had to live in
society. ,ut as e7ual inheritors of the $ingdom of (od they were all responsible for their own
salvation. /n the Old Testament a man could override his wife*s oath but there*s no such clause in
the ew Testament. &y point is, / thin$ #hrist*s teachings which were so... 1!linor tries to thin$ of
a word.2 tradition.#reaking at that time, opened up the possibility of a renaissance and rebirth for
women. The first person to greet the newly%risen #hrist was &ary &agdelen who carried the
message of his rebirth to the male disciples. Anyhow, although men have diminished the role of
women in early #hristianity that doesn*t mean it*s not there. And /*m a little disappointed that
women of this century have allowed themselves to just be absorbed into a male%dominated society
and have not tried in some way to...1She tries to put the new ideas into words.2
1+oderic$ gets up to mi0 them some more drin$s.
#lio 1interrupting2" The problem is that we*re children of civilisation addicted to the conveniences
of the modern age %% coffee%ma$ers, public transportation, microwavable Aanish pastry, stereos and
#A*s, synthetic fabrics %% so that we don*t want to jeopardise our comfort by trying to start all over.
,ut hanging out with li$e%minded people would at least offer us the fey possibility of being in the
world but not of the world.
1#lio gets up from her comfortable armchair and strolls over to the window. She slides open the
window, despite the cool autumn air. They hear voices and laughter from outside, obviously a
group of people are passing by but as they are all seated only #lio can actually see them.2
#lio 1suddenly screaming2" /ou-re all going to die$ 1She slams down the window and 7uic$ly
returns to her chair.2
+oderic$ 1eyes spar$ling2" 4ho was it5
#lio 1blandly2" / have no idea
16
1There is a moment of silence. They loo$ at each other. Then they all burst into laughter.2
17
EPISODE TWO
Scene O!
Setting" #hec$%&ate office. A wee$ later. All are present and at their respective des$s e0cept for
!linor who is at the coffee station pouring herself a cup.
!linor 1ta$ing her first sip2" &itchell6 This tastes li$e mud6 -articularly nasty mud, / might add6
&itchell 1loo$ing up from his des$2" / didn)t ma$e it. 1True to his resolve he had deliberately
avoided the coffee%ma$er this morning.2
#lio" Oh, / made it. /t)s e0presso.
!linor" !0presso5 4e don)t have any e0presso beansD
#lio" Oh, / $now, so / just put double the amount of coffee grinds in it. Aon)t you li$e it5
1!linor sighs, dumps her cup of coffee down the drain of the sin$ and returns to her des$.2
!linor" 4e have a new client coming in this morning. A 'elen =endall.
#lio" ,y the way, is it unethical to date someone after we)ve finished chec$ing them out5
!linor 1horrified2" .nethical and immoral6
#lio 1slowly2" 4ell, only hypothetically spea$ing, of course, what if our wor$ results in the couple
getting a divorce and then the guy starts calling meD
'enry" 'orus)s head, #lio6 3ou are naughty6
!linor" 'ow did he get your number5 'e)s not supposed to $now your last name6 That)s just basic
safety6 1#lio shrugged.2 Our reputation is destroyed if something li$e that ever got out6 1She pic$s
up her pen and resumes wor$ing on a file. #lio catches +oderic$)s eye and shrugs. #learly she had
been as$ing on his behalf. +oderic$ gives her a loo$ that says, you did your #est.2 / should brief
you on 'elen =endall before she gets here. 1She loo$s up from what is obviously the new file.2
She)s been married a year and suspects her husband is cheating on her although she doesn)t $now
whether it)s with an e0%girlfriend or a current woman that he)s always called a friendD
+oderic$" The eternal four%sided triangle, eh5 The man, the woman, the e0, and the hopeful friend.
!linor" / have never heard of a four%sided triangle. As / was saying, it)s going to re7uire some
detective wor$. #lio, obviously you)ll chec$ out the man. +oderic$ and 'enry, you)ll chec$ out the
18
e0 and the friend, respectively, and see which of the women consider themselves currently involved
with someoneD
+oderic$ 1leaning bac$ in his chair and putting his legs up on his des$ despite the papers and files
and pencil holders2" ot going to be easy, particularly if the women are just playing around with
'elen)s husband due to there being no other men in their lives. Then 'enry and / come along and
suddenly they pretend they)re completely available.
!linor" Then don)t hit on them. Act li$e you)re the married one having problems and you just need
someone to tal$ to and they)re bound to open up. 4hatever it ta$es.
1There is a $noc$ on the door and a tall, pale women with limp shoulder%length blac$ hair opens the
door. !linor smiles invitingly.2
#ome in6 'ave a seat6
'elen" 'i. /)m 'elen =endall. 1She comes in reluctantly and sits down on the chair in front of
!linor)s des$.2 / have an appointmentD
!linor" 3es. 3ou)re right on time. 4ould you li$e a coffee or a -errier5
'elen" -errier, please.
!linor" (et &rs. =endall a -errier, &itchell.
1&itchell tries not to loo$ visibly sour as a he goes over to the small fridge by the coffee%ma$er.
Their lime -errier mi0es especially nicely with gin.2
'elen 1opening her purse2" /)ve brought some photos. 1She pulls them out of an organiser and
tosses them onto !linor)s neat des$.2 The blonde in the bi$ini is his e0. The brunette in front of the
#hristmas tree is his supposed friend. 1She sounds distant and apathetic.2
!linor 1opening a notepad2" O=, let me get this straight. 3our husband)s name is +oy =endall and
he wor$s at the front des$ of the Sheraton. 1'elen nodded tiredly.2 'is e0%girlfriend)s name,
please5
'elen" =elly Simmons. She)s a waitress at a diner on Cueen Street, just west of .niversity.
!linor 1writing swiftly2" And the friend5
'elen" Sandy =ing. .nemployed. She has a lot of time on her hands.
!linor" 'ow did they meet5
19
'elen" 'igh school he told me. They were both on the trac$ team. That)s why they)ve stayed
friends. 'e goes jogging with her three or four times a wee$.
!linor 1loo$ing up from her writing2" ow, you suspect he may be seeing =elly5 4hy is that5
'elen 1she barely seems interested in the topic2" 4ell, / stopped by the Sheraton one day to see if he
wanted to have lunch together, but he wasn)t there so / decided to wal$ over to the diner instead. 'e
was there and so was she.
!linor" 3our suspicions are completely understandable. 1'elen doesn)t loo$ li$e this comment has
made any dent in her outloo$ on life.2 4ould you li$e us to chec$ out =elly first5
'elen 1standing up2" 3eah. Listen, /)ve got to get bac$ to wor$D 1!linor stands up too2
!linor" 3ou)ll hear from us within a wee$.
'elen 1drifting out2" Than$s.
1Tempted to say something disparaging about 'elen)s anaemic manner, &itchell instead gets up and
goes over to the boo$shelf in the corner that holds his martini glasses, a complete set of
Remem#rances of Things Past % a gift from his mother who had thought it was a history series % and
an assortment of sea shells from some e0%girlfriend of +oderic$)s. 'e ta$es a martini glass bac$ to
his des$ in order to ma$e up a drin$.2
#lio" She)s interesting loo$ing. (ree$ do you thin$5
!linor 1agreeing2" Something e0otic. -ersian, maybe5
1+oderic$ and &itchell are loo$ing at them incredulously. 'enry has been too busy reading to
notice any of the past proceedings.2
/s there such a thing anymore5 / $now those Shah)s li$e to pretend there isD
#lio" The -ersians were pretty civil. 1She says it as if this tid%bit of information might somehow
enrich them all, despite that her e0pertise is in the area of !gyptians, especially the men in their
loincloths.2
&itchell 1mi0ing his drin$2" Actually, that is a historical fallacy. The -ersians used to re7uire that
the ,abylonians provide an annual tribute of 8HH castrated boys. They became eunuchs for the
-ersian nobility.
#lio" o, that)s not true. /t was the Assyrians who were barbaric.
&itchell 1sipping his drin$2" Another historical fallacy. The Assyrians merely encouraged people to
20
thin$ they were brutal in order to maintain order. Their policy was to simply e0ecute the leader of a
community and then relocate the people.
#lio" ,ut there)s so many stories about the Assyrians6
&itchell 1leaning bac$ in his chair2" 4ell, let me tell you one about the -ersians. #ambyses once
had a judge who too$ bribes s$inned. 'e then used the s$in to cover the judgement seat as a
warning to the man)s son who inherited the job.
1!linor rolls her eyes.2
+oderic$ 1impatiently2" 'ey6 #an / see those photos5
!linor 1standing up and coming over to his des$ with them2" / suppose. =elly will be your
responsibility. She)s the one in the bi$ini.
+oderic$ 1eagerly holding out his hand2" / $now.
!linor 1glancing at an open file on his des$2" Ao you write your notes in cuneiform5
+oderic$ 1a horrified e0pression on his face2" !arly -hoenician actually.
1!linor laughs at the e0pression on his face.2
/ don)t $now why some people allow themselves to be photographed in a bi$ini. 1'e hands the
photos bac$ to !linor who returns to her des$.2
Scene T4O
Setting" The office the ne0t evening. +oderic$ is at the coffee station waiting for a fresh pot to
brew. !linor has just got up to get herself a cup when it)s ready. !verybody else has gone for the
day.
+oderic$ 1warningly2" =eep your distance. Just passed some particularly no0ious gas. #ouldn)t
$eep it in. Too many @rench fries at lunch.
!linor 1stopping where she is2" Than$s. So you ate at the diner5
+oderic$ 1continuing2" 3ou shouldn)t $eep these things in. /t)s not healthy. Some Swedish study,
or it might have been Autch, said that we should fart at least eight times a dayD
!linor 1impatiently2" 3es, yesD
21
+oderic$" / heard of a guy who actually got cancer from holding his gas in6
!linor 1losing it2" @art all you want +oderic$6 /n fact, fill the world with your sulphuric scent for all
/ care6 Just tell me how it went with =elly6 And did you really wear that T%shirt56
1+upert is wearing a white cotton T%shirt that says I/)m in the 4itness -rotection -rogram.J
+oderic$ 1loo$ing down2" Aon)t you love this5 / got it on Cueen Street today. 1'e pours himself a
cup of coffee even though the coffee%ma$er is still dripping.2 4ell, / made contact and /)m meeting
her tonight when she gets off wor$ and we)re going for a drin$ie%poo at, get this, the Sheraton6
1'e)s passing by #lio)s des$ and stops to pic$ up a #osmopolitan and flip through it.2
!linor" 4onderful6
+oderic$" 3ou $now, 1he holds up the magaBine2 you would never guess that the woman who sits
here is fluent in hieroglyphics and could give you a full biographical s$etch of every ew =ingdom
-haraohD
!linor" Aid she suggest the Sheraton5
+oderic$" 1still flipping through the magaBine and enjoying the lingerie ads2 o, / did. / said she
must be sic$ of diners so let)s wal$ to the Sheraton.
!linor" ,ut how did she respond5
+oderic$" o response. 1turning a page2 / mean, she didn)t gasp and say, Oh / can)t6 &y lover
wor$s there6
!linor" Let me chec$ something. 1She goes through her files and pulls out 'elen =endall)s.2 /
thin$ /)ve got +oy =endall)s wor$ schedule in hereD1she)s going through papers2 3es, here it is.
4hat time are you meeting =elly5
+oderic$" Seven. 1'e is e0amining a long%legged model in a very short s$irt.2
!linor" See +oy got off wor$ at si0 tonight so there)s no chance of running into him.
+oderic$ 1absently2" 4ell, that would e0plain it. 1'e turns the page to find an article on ma$ing a
man happy in bed. ,eginning to read it he blushes at the e0plicit instructions. 'e turns the page
7uic$ly before !linor can catch him, even though from her des$ it would be impossible to see what
he is reading. 'e is so pre%occupied with the magaBine that he doesn)t notice a red%faced, middle%
aged woman come into the office.2
4oman" !0cuse me6
22
1+oderic$ turns around and recognises the woman as a successful pic$%up a couple of wee$s ago.2
+oderic$ 1politely2" 3es5
4oman" &y husband just told me why he)s filing for divorce. 1She is as angry as an atheist being
burned at the sta$e for Sabbath%$eeping.2
+oderic$ 1calmly2" / suppose he would.
1!linor is discreetly pic$ing up her phone.2
4oman" And / just wanted to drop by and personally tell you how / feel about itD 1She opens up
her purse.2
+oderic$ 1sighing2" 0ae "ictis.
4oman" -ardon me5 1She pulls a long $itchen $nife out of her purse.2
+oderic$ 1!yes bulging2" 4oe to the defeated. 1'is voice is somewhat feeble.2
4oman 1her face practically in +oderic$)s, the $nife in the vicinity of his chest2" Aon)t get smart
with me, $id6
+oderic$ 1bravely2" /)d li$e to tell you /)m deeply sorry. 1One of his hands is discreetly moving
around #lio)s des$, desperately trying to locate a letter opener or pair of scissors. All it comes up
with is an emery board. 'e sighs.2 4ould you care to have a seat5 1'e waves a limp hand in the
direction of the couch and the woman actually sits down.2 ,ring this lady a cup of coffee please,
!linor.
1!linor, who has just managed to dial the number of the office ne0t door where there are at least a
doBen brawny college%aged men wor$ing the evening shift for a telemar$eting company, sighs and
puts the phone down.2
4oman 1standing up2" / don)t $now why /)m sitting down. /t)s a lot harder to $ill someone sitting
down.
!linor 17uic$ly from the coffee station2" 4ould you li$e cream in your coffee, ma)am5
4oman 1sitting bac$ down2" Just sugar.
+oderic$ 1assuringly2" One of my favourite studies is that of the #elts as they engaged the +omans.
As you well $now, if you have seen 1ladiator, the +omans were a tight%$nit fighting machine.
/mpenetrable, almost, when they all marched together, shields up and when they all crouched down,
shield overhead to protect themselves from the fiery darts. Of course, 1ladiator depicts the +oman
23
victory. ,ut ultimately, with all the internal decay in +ome and the relentless attac$s by the so%
called barbarians, chaos triumphed over order.
4oman 1still holding the $nife menacingly2" /s there a point to this history lesson5
+oderic$" Actually, yes there is. 1'e seems pleased by the observation.2 The woman is sipping her
coffee. 'er intense disli$e for +oderic$ is evident but she no longer loo$s li$e she)s on a death
mission.2
&y point is, er, well, along the lines ofD 1'e is desperately trying to thin$ of a point. !linor rolls
her eyes.2 4ell, / mean, that is to say, in the end, an empire can)t last forever. 4hether it be
destroyed by internal forces or e0ternal pressures, an empire eventually falls. 4e want it to last
forever because we want security, but history proves that we can)t loo$ to a state or an army for that
sense of security.
4oman 1putting her coffee mug on the floor and loo$ing li$e she might stand up2" So what are you
saying5 This is terrible coffee, by the way.
+oderic$ 1leaning forward earnestly2" /)m saying, empires rise and fall but shadows linger. /
personally feel that one of the great tragedies of travel is that we can never 7uite e0perience the spirit
of a country % perhaps because it)s hidden so deeply in the soul of its people. /f not there, where
else5 4e may catch a glimpse of a country)s substance when we stand on top of one of its hills and
survey a small town, but when we get down to the cobbled streets and the sidewal$ cafes we)re bac$
to being just a visitor. Ao you $now what / mean5
4oman 1loo$ing depressed2" Of course / $now what you mean. @rom the minute we met in that
stupid bar / $new what you were saying. 4hy do you thin$ /)m so mad at you5 3ou)re saying the
travel industry does its damnedest to seduce us with the soul of a country % all those glossy
brochures full of pictures of smiling natives, magnificent statues, castles, universities, cliffs,
fountains, cathedrals, floor gardens, street vendors % all the things that we barely glance at after
we)ve spent a few days in the country and the newness has worn off. So there we are stuc$ in the
tourist)s parado0. 4e)ve seen more of the country than most natives but we)ll never understand it
completely because we didn)t create it.
+oderic$ 1nodding2" !0actly. /t all ma$es me wonder why we build houses in the first place. Are
they to shelter us from the elements or are they a declaration of control5 #ivilisations aren)t built
with teepees, they)re built with bric$ and stone. ,ut the minute we establish something we have to
be prepared to guard it, not just the walls, but the sense of security. 4e become on the defence
instead of the offence. &aybe that)s why some #elts chose just to wander across !urope with their
cattle and gold, never settling long enough in any place to have to garrison it. / thin$ some of us are
tourists and some of us are travellers. The tourists have homes to go bac$ to, the travellers are still
loo$ing for one.
1The woman gets up, loo$ing li$e she)s been defeated.2
24
4oman" / bet you)re not even thirty.
+oderic$ 1almost penitently2" /)m sorry.
4oman" @inally / meet the perfect guy and he)s a -./.
+oderic$" Actually, /)m not a -./., but / guess that)s not the point.
4oman" Aamn you. 1She wal$s out the door.2
+oderic$ 1after a few seconds2" 4ell.
!linor" 4ell, indeed.
+oderic$" -erhaps it would be prudent to loo$ the door after a certain hour.
!linor 1nodding2" -erhaps, indeed.
+oderic$" 4ould you care for a gin5
!linor 1sighing and sitting down2" / would lo"e a gin.
1+oderic$ goes to &itchell)s des$ and pulls a bottle out of his drawer and pours them each a
substantial drin$.2
+oderic$" 'ey6 Aid you hear5 There)s a paramilitary convention meeting here ne0t month. Ao
you $now some of those guys actually believe that outside forces are going to try to invade orth
America5
!linor" 4hat would they do with it5 @ran$ly, / thin$ it would be a good thing. 4e need a little
more international culture.
+oderic$ 1sipping his drin$2" / thin$ it)s already happening. 'ave you noticed how stupid people
are getting5 / thin$ they)re putting something in the water. / tried to order a 4hopper #ombo a few
days ago and the girl tells me if you buy one 4hopper you get a second one for KK cents. So / say,
but / want the #ombo meal. And she insists, second one for KK cents. So / say, sure whatever,
figuring / can always bring one bac$ to the office for whoever. Ao you $now what / ended up
getting5 Two 4hoppers6 o fries. o drin$.
!linor" So you)re saying outside forces are putting something in our water5
+oderic$ 1nodding2" They)ll invade us first because we)re the biggest city in #anadaD
25
!linor" Then why hasn)t it affected you5
+oderic$ 1holding up his glass2" ever touch the stuff, e0cept boiled in coffee. ,ut thin$ about it
!linor. 4e)re the obvious place to invade. o one)s going to resist. They)ll just get in their cars
and flee. /t)s not li$e invading Te0as where everyone has a gun and will defend their property to the
death. So they get a foothold here and thenDJ
!linor" / sort of imagine invaders coming through the sewers.
+oderic$ 1agreeing2" .nderground tunnels. And no doubt there are fifth columnists who have been
preparing for thisD
!linor 1loo$ing at her watch2" Aon)t you have an appointment5
+oderic$ 1loo$ing at the cloc$ and swigging bac$ his gin2" (oodness me6 1'e returns &itchell)s
martini glass to the boo$shelf without washing it.2 Time does fly. / would as$ my mother to pray
that more attractive women would participate in adulterous affairs e0cept that /)ve told her /)m an
accountant.
14ith a 7uic$ $iss on !linor)s chee$, he grabs his coat and flies out the door.2
Scene T'+!!
Setting" The #hec$%&ate office the ne0t morning. !veryone is present at their respective des$s
e0cept for +oderic$ who is bac$ at the coffee station. !linor gets up from her seat to join him.2
+oderic$" ot alive until my first cup of coffee, darling. 1'e waves !linor away while he watches
the coffee steadily dripping into the pot.2
!linor 1insistently2" / need to $now how it wentD
+oderic$" +eally6 /t)s li$e having -&S.
#lio 1grumbling2" 'ow would you $now5 1She has her &idol out on her des$ and is on her si0th
tablet despite the warning that you only ta$e 9 every < hours.2
!linor" +oderic$6 1She sounds as irritated as =ing ebuchadneBBar when Shadrach, &eshach, and
Abednego weren)t burning in his furnace.2
+oderic$" !linor6 1'e sounds as stubborn as Cueen Fashti refusing to appear before =ing
Ahasueres. The coffee pot dribbles and finally drips to a stop. +oderic$ carefully pours himself a
cup, adds cream and sugar, stirs and tastes it before returning to his des$.2
@irst of all, / would li$e to say that / prefer a girl with wine%stained lips and #eltic green eyes
26
and instead / got a girl with weird glittery pin$ lips and e0tremely fa$e%loo$ing blue contact lenses.
!linor" ,ut is she involved with +oy =endall5
+oderic$" She thin$s she is. 1'is succinctness is surprisingly accommodating.2 And tra%la6 1'e
reaches into his poc$et.2 / have it all on tape.
!linor" 'ow did you get her to tal$5
+oderic$" 4ell, / had several ,lues and she had several Singapore Slings and we tal$ed and tal$ed
and tal$ed. / tried to $eep it as personal as possible. / told her that / was dating a married woman
but / just needed a night away from the whole messy thing and her a7uamarine eyes widened and
she said something li$e wow6 4hat a coincidence because she was seeing a married man and said
yes to me just to ta$e a brea$ from it all and that of all the funny things he actually wor$ed in this
hotel and isn)t that all just the funniest coincidence.
!linor 1ta$ing the tape2" 4onderful6 'elen =endall will be pleased /)m sure. 1She reaches in her
des$ for the =endall file.2
+oderic$" 3es. !very woman li$es to find out her husband is cheating on her. /t confirms her
suspicion that men are scumbags. 4hat are you on for, #lio5
#lio 1reaching for another &idol2" A funeral.
+oderic$" That)s a new one. Ao people really cheat on their spouses at funerals5
#lio" ot a case, silly. &y great aunt died.
+oderic$ 1almost sounding sincere2" /)m sorry.
#lio" Aon)t be. / barely $new her.
+oderic$" See6 1'e says it as if a profound point has been made.2 That is why / hate funerals. ;8L
of the people there don)t even care that someone)s died. /)m never having a funeral. Light a few
candles for me if you want but there)s no way /)m having a bunch of people standing around with
their bac$s to my cas$et complaining about their angina while / lie there. 3ou on for anything5
1The 7uestion is directed at !linor.2
!linor" 3es. @airly straightforward. A couple who)ve been married seven years. 'e doesn)t come
home right after wor$. Says he just needs some drin$s to unwind but the wife thin$s he might be
meeting someone or at least, trying to meet someone. 4hat will you be doing today, 'enry5
'enry 1loo$ing up, surprised from a noteboo$ he)s scribbling in2" &e5 /)m writing a history boo$
for children. 1'e says it li$e it)s obvious that a man wor$ing for #hec$%&ate would write $id)s
27
boo$s on the side.2
!linor" 'istory of the world5 Or do you plan to focus on anything particular5
'enry" 4ell, naturally it will be rather ancient since that)s my area of e0pertise although / might
include a chapter on battles up to apoleon. / already have some chapter titles. 1'e reads from his
notepad.2 !gyptian #onniption. -ersian Fersion. (ree$ #li7ue. +oman Omen. The only one /)m
having a real problem with is ,abylonian. 4hat rhymes with ,abylonian5
#lio 1not loo$ing up from her Fogue2" #abylonian.
+oderic$" #abylonian isn)t a word.
#lio" 3es it is.
+oderic$" .se it in a sentence.
#lio" 3ou loo$ very #abylonian today.
'enry" &aybe something that rhymes with Onian. Let)s see. ,onian, Aonian, !onian, @onianD
#lio" -lease do it in your head.
'enry" (onian, 'onian, /onian, hey that)s word6 ,ut there)s really no such thing as an /onian
,abylonian.
&itchell" 4hy let that stop you5 / don)t thin$ there)s such thing as an !gyptian #onniption either.
'enry 1ignoring him2" Jonian, =onian, =onan the ,arbarian5 Lonian, &onian, onian, -onian,
Cuonian, +onian, Sonian, Tonian, .onian, Fonian, 4onian, Monian, 3onian, Nonian. Oh well. /)ll
just leave the ,abylonians out of my boo$.
Scene @O.+
Setting" A small smo$y pub that evening. 'enry is sitting in one of the booths with Sandy =ing,
+oy =endall)s friend. Aespite being in the office when the case was closed, he hadn)t noticed and
has gone ahead with ma$ing contact and establishing a date.
Sandy" /t)s a crappy world. 1She $noc$s bac$ a shooter of whis$ey and waves for another.2
'enry 1agreeably, sipping his beer2" That it is. .nfortunately we live in an /ron Age.
Sandy" An /ron Age5
28
'enry" (ree$ mythology. There are four ages, (olden, Silver, ,raBen, and /ron. (olden is li$e the
(arden of !den where everything is perfect and all of man)s needs are ta$en care of. !0cept that the
(ree$s didn)t just thin$ of it in the past sense, but hoped for it in the future.
Sandy" 4ell, how the hec$ did they thin$ it would happen5
'enry" They hoped for the return of the goddess Astraea who was goddess of innocence and purity
and Themis who was the goddess of Justice, you $now, the one that holds the pair of scales.
Sandy" That)s a (ree$ thing5
'enry 1enthused by her 7uestion despite that she)s drin$ing heavily2" 3es6 3ou)d be amaBed at
how much we retain from not only the (ree$s but from even older civilisations. Aemocracy, our
sense of justice, those are the obvious ones. ,ut an unobvious one would be something li$e the
concept of the Trinity.
Sandy 1getting bored2" 3eah5
'enry" 3es. The Sumerians arranged their gods in groups of three. Anu, the god of heaven. !nlil,
the god of wind. !n$i, the god of earth. .nderneath that is another trinity. annar, the moon god.
.tu, the sun god. /nnana, the morning star Fenus. /nnana is also a &other !arth figure who is
involved with the god AumuBi who dies and is reborn each year. @ertility, harvest, that type of
thing.
1Sandy has obviously tuned 'enry out.2
Then, of course, the most obvious one, the !gyptian trinity of Osiris, /sis, and 'orus. Osiris and /sis
are husband and wife, but as you probably $now, they)re also brother and sister. Somebody, some
god $illed Osiris, /)ve temporarily forgotten who, and /sis retrieves his body parts out of the river
and puts them bac$ together and has se0 with him and out of that comes 'orus. Of course, 'orus
was a pretty important figure in !gyptian mythologyD
Sandy 1getting up2" Listen. /)ve got to go.
'enry 1loo$ing surprised2" Sure, O=.
1She leaves the bar.2
4hat on earth am / going to tell !linor5 Oh well. 1'e sighs and pulls out a boo$ and reads until
he)s finished his beer.2
Scene @/F!
29
Setting" The #hec$%&ate office two days later. !verybody is present.
!linor" Aid anyone see &ncient ,ysteries last night5
#lio" The palace at &ari5 3eah. (ood segment on the wall paintings. And the archaeologist was
gorgeous6
!linor" 'e was, wasn)t he5
#lio" 3eah. @or male interest in those shows you usually have to $eep your eyes peeled for some
young Arab wor$er in the bac$ground. 3ou should have seen the gorgeous Arab men in the latest
,iblical Archaeology +eview. /t was an article about a new e0cavation near uBi.
1+upert and &itchell are e0changing disgusted loo$s.2
!linor" The /sraelis are pretty hot too.
#lio" +eally hot6 Aid you see that new boo$, #urrent Archaeology in orthern /srael5
!linor" /)ve seen it in the boo$store.
#lio" Loo$ through it6 Or better yet, buy it6 There wasn)t a man who wasn)t drop%dead gorgeous6
!linor" Ao you thin$ #hrist was that good%loo$ing5
#lio" / thin$ so.
&itchell" /sn)t there a prophecy in /saiah about him having no form of comeliness5
#lio" A prophecy, yes. ,ut no first%hand account in the (ospels. / thin$ he had to be hot or else
why would all those women follow him around all over the place5
!linor" 4ell, possibly for his message. 1She is reluctant to reduce her saviour to a se0 object.2
#lio" Oh, of course. ,ut my point is, there were no unattractive men in that boo$ full of Semites, so
how could he have been anything but gorgeous5 ,esides, have you seen the Aali portrait of the Last
supper5
!linor" o, / don)t thin$ / have.
#lio" 3ou)d remember it if you did. #hrist is a hun$ and a half. / have it up on my bedroom wall
for whenever /)m tempted to commit adultery with one of our prey.
30
&itchell" 4hat a uni7ue theology. #hrist as Adonis.
'enry" 3ou)ve given me a great idea6 /)m giving up the children)s boo$. /)m going to ma$e a
s$etch of #hrist and pass it off as a O
rd
century copy of an original. /t)ll be about as valuable as a
first edition of (enesis. /)m going out to get art supplies. 1'e gets up and leaves.2
+oderic$ 1to #lio2" So, are you seeing anyone5
#lio" /)ve pretty much given up. /t)s impossible to meet anyone normal. And with our job, /)ve
certainly given up on a man committing himself to a life of fidelity.
+oderic$" 3ou shouldn)t give up. 4hat $ind of attitude is that5 / certainly haven)t given up.
!linor" That)s great to hear that the man who has brought so much pain to so many women has not
become discouraged and given up.
&itchell" /t)s weird. Our whole job is about se0ual desire and yet, / meet so few people among our
prey that /)d actually want to sleep with.
#lio" And yet a lot of them would be happy to sleep with you. &aybe there)s something about
being married that ma$es you thin$ you)re missing out on something. ! will punish her for the days
she #urned incense to the 2aals. 3he decked herself with rings and 4ewellery and went after her
lo"ers #ut me she forgot declares the (ord. /t)s in 'osea. /t)s about the spiritual adultery and
prostitution of the /sraelites. (od tells 'osea to marry an unfaithful wife as a symbol of how /srael
is treating him and choosing idolatry and alliances with other nations over him. 'osea should be
our patron saint in that in order to e0pose the evil deeds of dar$ness, so to spea$, we have to actually
immerse ourselves in this world of adultery without it overcoming us.
+oderic$" So we)re doing the wor$ of (od56
#lio 1shrugging2" !n that day declares the (ord you will call me 5my hus#and.6 The ultimate
reconciliation for our clients and our pic$%ups isn)t with each other but with (od.
&itchell" / don)t $now that we)re really doing anything to help people. / thin$ we should get more
into something li$e intellectual one%night stands instead of testing people)s fidelity. 3ou $now,
have a good one%on%one, heart%to%heart tal$ about se0 and relationships. 'elp them wor$ through
their fears or frustrations, whatever.
#lio 1laughing2" All you really need for a good intellectual one%night stand is two suppressed people
with good imaginations and an ability to e0press themselves.
+oderic$" That)s telephone se0, #lio. 'ave you ever wanted to wor$ for one of those hot%lines5
#lio" ever. Actually, / always wanted to be a Jesuit.
31
&itchell" / thin$ you)ve got to be a man for that.
#lio" / $now. /t)s just too much of a bother to get a se0 change. ,ut the Jesuits do such cool things,
you $now, loo$ for secret manuscripts and stuff. &aybe someday /)ll start a secret order for women,
li$e the order of &ary &agdelene, or somethingD That)s why / studied Ancient 'istory. (od
called himself Logos, the 4ord, and it made me want to study ancient languages that he might have
communicated in. (ree$, 'ebrew, Aramaic, obviously. ,ut hieroglyphics and cuneiform too. /
mean, not everything that was recorded survived and maybe there)s some stuff still waiting to be
discovered.
1'enry returns. All he has is a s$etchpad.2
'enry" / don)t $now where /)m going to get third century papyrus and in$. / don)t even $now if
they had in$ bac$ then. They had the purple dye of -hoenicia, that)s about all / $now.
+oderic$" The route to money for us is in a candid boo$ about adultery in #anada. All of our
stories. ,ut most importantly, advice. !verybody loves advice.
!linor" Advice on how to avoid it, or advice on how to engage in it5
+oderic$ 1pulling out a notepad and beginning to write2" 7. &dultery #rings #oth pain and
pleasure. 1'e pauses to thin$ and then continues.2 8eep this in mind. 9. &t "arious times in your
life it can feel e:ually natural to cheat or #e monogamous. +ence this is a good argument against
#asing a moral code on feelings. 1'e loo$s up.2 4ow6 /)m straying into the realm of philosophy
here6 This is going to elevate the fibre of my boo$. 1'e returns to his writing.2 ;. &dultery is
rarely glamorous in real life. !t may seem so in #ooks and mo"ies. Often men are impressed with
other men who ha"e slept with many women. !n talking to women howe"er they seem attracted to
men who are not sleeping with other women. Recall the story of %oseph and Potiphars wife. <.
2efore assuming that you need an adulterous relationship in your life consider that may#e that is
not what you want. 'ould some other area of your life #e lacking* =ould a new ho##y for
e)ample #e a #etter course of action* 1+upert tries to thin$ of some sort of hobbies to include but
nothing comes to mind.2
#lio" /)ve always wondered if any of #hrist)s descendants are alive today. ot his children, of
course. / personally don)t go for that idea that he and &ary &agdelene had $ids. / mean his nieces
and nephews since his brothers and sisters must have had $ids.
!linor" That)s very interesting6 They would probably have no idea that they were related to him.
#lio" They probably aren)t just living a peaceful life in /srael spea$ing fluent Aramaic or anything.
There was too much upheaval in /srael in the first and second centuries. / dunno. Something to
thin$ about.
32
!linor" Something /)ve been thin$ing about with regards to our earlier conversation is that the
women who followed #hrist probably recognised that he was more than an average man. And they
really listened to him. The men made assumptions, you can tell from their writings. They thought
his $ingdom would be established in their lifetime. All of them had a preconceived idea of what a
&essiah should be and some of them thought it would be a man who would overthrow +oman rule
and establish an independent /srael. The disciples were even joc$eying for positions in his $ingdom.
The crucifi0ion shattered them. &ost of them ran. The women, however, stayed at the site of his
crucifi0ion.
#lio" 4ho $nows5 'e may have even told them what to e0pect.
&itchell" #lio, you)re a (nostic at heart6 / find it funny that you and !linor go to church every
Sunday. 'asn)t anyone branded you guys heretics yet5
!linor" 4e go and sing and listen to the sermon and ta$e comfort in Orthodo0y. 4e speculate with
agnostics li$e you. As / was saying, if the second coming of #hrist were to happen in a similar
fashion to the first, / thin$ it would be the women who would recognise it first. A good man really
stands out.
#lio" / would definitely sell all / had to follow him around, just to be in the presence of a perfect
person. /)m jealous of those first%century women who had that first%hand e0perience of learning
from him.
1The theological discussion ends when +oderic$ starts as$ing them to relate their most interesting
encounters so that he can include the stories in his boo$.2
33
EPISODE THREE
Scene O!
Setting" A camera panning various outdoor winter scenes in Toronto before going to the inside of
#hec$%&ate.
&itchell*s voice" /n retrospect / believe / did hear something about a war. ,ut there had been so
many wars ma$ing headlines %% a war in former Serbia, the perennial scuffling about in the &iddle
!ast, the threat of a :fish war: between #anada and Spain %% that / barely paid attention.
/t was winter for one thing. !linor seemed determined to ma$e it a completely Fictorian
#hristmas around the office so we too$ a day out of the slow season to decorate a tree with ba$ed
coo$ie ornaments covered in sprin$les. Then we strung together long lines of popcorn and
cranberries. 4hen we were done, that tree was la"ished.
4e celebrated by ma$ing snow angels outside the office followed by hot chocolate inside.
On #hristmas day / was invited to !linor*s place for lunch. !linor*s mother had coo$ed a
tur$ey, mashed the potatoes and steamed some corn, but it was !linor who filled the table with
special dishes %% candied yams, home%made cranberry sauce, wild%grain rice, a spicy and most
delicious stuffing, fresh%ba$ed sweet bread, an array of relishes, not to mention her wide%selection of
desserts my favourite being a triple%layer chocolate ca$e with strawberry sauce.
1Scene now shows !linor*s living room with !linor, &itchell, +oderic$, and #lio around a piano.2
+oderic$ and #lio stopped by afterwards. 'enry*s family wasn)t religious but went to church every
#hristmas and !aster and forced him to accompany them. 4e sang carols and afterwards went
outside and built a snow fort. / believe !linor*s father even snapped some photos of us out there. /
don*t $now if he ever had a chance to get them onto the computer.
/ $new there was some sort of cloud hanging over the whole affair though / presumed it was
a personal problem between !linor*s parents. 'er two younger brothers seemed boisterous and
light%hearted enough and !linor was too busy fussing over the food to seem gloomy. ,ut something
was definitely bothering !linor*s parents.
,efore we*d even reach the ew 3ear, / would find out what it was.
Scene T4O
Setting" Two days later. An elegant hotel lobby. &itchell, 'enry, +oderic$, !linor, and #lio are
seated on couches and chairs around a table filled with sandwiches, ca$es, and teacups. The girls
are in long dresses, the men in casual suits.
&itchell*s voice" The five of us were having afternoon tea in a hotel lobby. 4e had our eyes on the
elevators, $eeping watch for an out%of%town client)s husband, a good%loo$ing man in his early OH)s
who was staying at the hotel on business. +oderic$ remar$ed how it was ideal to ta$e tea in lobby
34
and not in some bac$ room because in the days of the +aj, one always had tea out in the open li$e
that to be able to greet one*s friends and $eep an eye on one*s enemies. +oderic$, / believe, still
viewed #anada as an outpost of civilisation.
The staff seemed nervous, as / recall. 4e were the only ones having tea that day although
there were several small groups of people milling around the doors and fre7uently consulting with
the front des$, although no one was actually coming or going. They just seemed to be waiting for
something. The only thing we were waiting for was the inspiration as to who should try to hit on
our 7uarry.
1!linor, #lio, +oderic$, 'enry, and &itchell are in the middle of a conversation.2
!linor" .../t*s funny how in the historical overview se0 has played such a big role in man*s affairs.
Though, of course, for women it has defined their whole being %% whore, mother, saint, depending
on how much or how little of it you got.
&itchell" So true, so true.
!linor" Some say that the fall of man was about se0, the tree of the $nowledge of good and evil
being just another ,iblical euphemism for the act. / personally thin$ it*s not that simple, but that*s
what some scholars believe.
+oderic$" /f you had to choose between a fat ugly old man and a young beautiful woman, who
would you sleep with5
!linor" The woman. Aefinitely the woman. Though / probably wouldn*t ta$e it to the level of
Sapphos and start writing poetry about it.
+oderic$ 1to #lio2" 4hat about you5
#lio" Oh, probably the woman.
'enry" /*ve always been interested in why people have se0. / mean, it can be so contradictory.
Some do it for money, some for love, some because they*re afraid of growing old, some to prove
they*re not a child anymore. Some do it hoping to gain a divine insight into the universe, others
because they don*t believe in anything at all.
!linor" !0actly. 4hy such big gaps5 And why such a huge gap between whores and saints5 /s
that a choice every woman has to ma$e, either to be, say, &ata 'ari, blasP, screwing the !uropean
elite or Joan of Arc e0changing worldly pleasures for spiritual vision and purpose5 And / mean,
neither e0treme is really available to the average woman, is it5 / rather thin$ every woman has a bit
of both e0tremes as well as everything in between.
'enry" /t*s too comple0.
35
!linor" /t is too hard to analyse. !ither gender. /t*s easier to just accept people for who they are and
leave it at that.
+oderic$" ot everybody can get inside another person*s head. / thin$ that*s where the real fun
begins. That*s when you begin to realise you*re wal$ing where angels fear to tread.
!linor 1smiling2" That*s when the only guideboo$ you have is a little scrap of paper torn from some
sacred te0t with a single word written in an ancient language, love.
&itchell" Ah, the only word that $eeps the demons away and lets a soul breathe easy. 1'e laughs.2
4hat poets we are.
&itchell*s voice" ,ut it was a meaningful discussion in retrospect because it foreshadowed a lesson
/ was to learn. A lesson6 / understate myself. / was to learn the meaning of life in the ne0t few
months.
/ was to learn that love creates and destroys and doesn*t stop there. That love wasn*t
something you did for money or because you were afraid of growing old or to prove you were not a
child anymore. Love just happens and when it does, you have to accept it as a gift. +ight time,
right place, wrong person. 4rong time, wrong place, right person. Or in this case, right time,
wrong place, right person. The point is it happens and sometimes you don*t have much say in the
matter and you just have to ma$e the best of it.
!linor" / thin$ real love is ta$ing responsibility for another person*s happiness.
+oderic$ 1pats her hand2" 'ow nicely put.
&itchell*s voice" /t seems astounding, in retrospect, that we were probably the only five people in
the city, e0cept for, perhaps, a few homeless alcoholics, who didn*t realise that the enemy was at our
gates. The irony was that 'enry began to discuss this concept of the enemy being at our gates but in
a metaphorical sense. / believe he was ma$ing a point about how these days there are no literal
(ermanic tribes, but we still wrestle with our own personal barbarians threatening to crash through
the boundaries of our sanity and consume our minds with chaos.
4e finally realised that our man just wasn)t going to be passing by us that day so +oderic$
ate the final piece of spice ca$e, !linor too$ her last sip of tea and we all stood up to face the brutal
winds of a bliBBardy wintery day.
1They are all heading for the doors.2
/*ll never forget that day. /t was one of those days where you had to $eep your head down if you
didn*t want to inhale snow and we were all hurrying towards the nearby entrance to the subway.
1They have e0ited and are outside2
#lio 1suddenly2" /s that a tank5
36
'enry 1e0citedly2" 4here5
#lio" Over there. 1She points. They all raise their heads, despite the bliBBardy snow, towards the
direction she is pointing. There indeed seems to be some rather large vehicle leisurely ma$ing its
way down the practically empty street.2
+oderic$" 4ell, you*d need a tan$ on a day li$e today. The streets are solid ice.
!linor" ,ut loo$ how slow it*s going. /t seems to be having trouble.
&itchell" ,ut is it actually a tan$5
1Fisibility is horrible and they can only evaluate it according to its siBe. Aespite the ruthless wind
they stand and wait. One feels they should run but of course, they have no idea what is going on and
sheer curiosity $eeps them standing there.2
#lio 1who must have had some superior gift of vision2" Oh my. /t*s not just one tan$. /t*s a convoy.
1Sure enough, emerging from the tempest is a whole train of tan$s.2
'enry" Are we being invaded5
!linor" / thin$ we should go bac$ to the hotel.
14ordlessly, they all agree. They have made it about fifty metres when there is shouting. ot that
type of general shouting addressed to no one in particular but a crisp, commanding shout. Turning
around, they find themselves facing a well%armed battalion.2
&itchell*s voice" 4e had the dubious distinction of being the first captives of 4orld 4ar ///.
1They aren*t ta$en away in a tan$. /nstead they are pushed into one of several closed truc$s in the
middle of the convoy with a couple of soldiers to $eep them from jumping out the bac$.2
+oderic$ 1pompously2" 4hat is going on5
1The soldiers ignore him.2
&itchell*s voice" /t would seem natural in such a situation to ma$e a fuss, to further demand to
$now what is going on, to become furious and threaten that if they didn*t let us go that they would
regret it. ,ut +oderic$ didn*t repeat his 7uestion and we all remained 7uiet. There was this horrible
sense of abnormality mi0ed with inevitability. 4e $new we were captives, we $new it was war, we
accepted that immediately. .nli$e the rest of orth America, we just didn*t $now why.
37
1The convoy has been moving slowly but has now stopped. Outside the truc$ there are screams and
a gunshot. A few seconds later, the bac$ of the truc$ is opened and two more people shoved inside.
They are a middle%aged couple, well%dressed in tailored coats and obviously very frightened. The
bac$ door is shut and the convoy starts up again.2
&itchell*s voice" 1The camera focuses on !linor.2 !linor told me later that she had never $ept a
journal. She didn*t have the patience to record the details of her rather domestic days in some sort of
Jane Austen manner and it would have been too tempting to degenerate into self%analysis, which is
always embarrassing to read later.
,ut in that truc$ she had regretted it. A record of her life before this, because it was
becoming evident to !linor that this was a historical turning point of some sort, would have been
nice. And nice was the word. Life had been nice up until now and she had left no record behind of
that.
Scene T'+!!
Setting" The same day. The play%yard of a suburban elementary school. They, along with a few
other people who had been pic$ed up on their way to suburbia, are huddled by the jungle%gym set.
The tan$s are par$ed orderly on the asphalt and the school is being emptied of its children. The
soldiers show no interest in $eeping the few children that have come to school that day and
presumably they are being allowed to ma$e their way home. The soldiers are more preoccupied
with shifting a lot of crates around. They are being ta$en out of the truc$s in the bac$ of the convoy
and brought into the school which now seems to be serving as some sort of local head7uarters for
the troops. Other crates are being loaded into the truc$s at the front of the convoy. A few soldiers
have been left to guard the prisoners.
#lio" :Aamn, cold6 Aamn6 And damn all of this6 1She pauses.2 Aamn it all, especially the cold6
+oderic$" Too bad she is not more well%read.
&itchell" .nfortunately she is very well read. That is the best way to sum it up. /t is pretty damn
cold.
'enry" /*d be curious to $now the full e0tent of this. / mean, has the city been ta$en5 Or is this just
some sort of jo$e5
&itchell" /t seems real. The tan$s travelled from downtown way out to here without being stopped
so there must be very little resistance.
!linor" Are we behaving normally5
&itchell" 4hat do you mean5
38
!linor" 4ell, obviously something very strange is happening. Are we behaving in a normal way
considering this is very strange5
+oderic$" Ao you mean are we behaving as if this is normal or do you mean are we behaving
strangely because this is strange5
!linor" / thin$ / mean is our behaviour in tune with the situation5 4e were abducted in a city street
and now we*re standing out here in a cold, no freezing school yard being guarded by soldiers with
guns. Aren*t we being a bit too calm5
&itchell" / don*t thin$ we have a choice. / really thin$ this is out of our hands. / mean, most of life
is out of our hands it*s just that we usually feel as if we have some semblance of control, but now
things are definitely not in our hands.
'enry 1suddenly and sounding as if he*s in a daBe2" /t could be the end of the world. / mean, the
&ayan /ndians believed the world would end with an earth7ua$e on Aecember 9O, 9HG9. / always
just assumed that #alifornia would fall off into the ocean and everything else would carry on, but
maybe it is a prophecy for the whole world...
+oderic$" 3ou just said earth7ua$e. This doesn*t feel li$e an earth7ua$e.
'enry" 4ell, no, but weird things always happen before the end of the world.
&itchell 1slowly2" .nfortunately, this isn*t weird. /t may seem weird to us, but if this is war, if
we)ve been invaded, a lot of people have gone through things li$e this before. This is history.
'enry 1holds his head2" Oh (od6 Oh (od6 1'e moans.2 /t*s not li$e the boo$s...
+oderic$" .nfortunately, it*s e0actly li$e a boo$.
A young teenager" 4hat*s a boo$5
1+oderic$, 'enry and &itchell just stare at him.2
The older man pic$ed up in the truc$" /t*s how people used to get educated before everything was
put on disc.
1'enry loo$s li$e he wants to say something, but just then there is a commotion of activity. Truc$s
in the bac$ of the convoy are being par$ed by the school while the people in the school yard are
being herded into the truc$s at the front, now even more crowded with the crates. Their smaller
fleet resumes the journey.2
39
Scene @O.+
Setting" The same day. The soldiers) destination, a university campus. The convoy is pulling into
not an elegant campus with reassuringly ancient buildings and ivy growing on the sides of walls, but
a comple0 of cement edifices spread out over a treeless landscape. Soldiers are out on this freeBing
day erecting barbed wire around the perimeters of the property. Sentry points have already been set
up and a loo$%out point is in the process of being built.
The truc$s brea$ up. Some head for what is obviously the main building built on a slight
incline so that it can survey the entire campus. Others head towards a particularly grey building,
long and several stories high.
Scene @/F!
Setting" The same day. /nside the dorms. 4alls have been $noc$ed down 1there is rubble strewn
about2 so that the remaining rooms now resembles a barrac$. A few posters of roc$ bands and
celebrities are still on the walls. /t is #hristmas brea$ so there are only a few students who have
been added to the ran$ of prisoners. The prisoners are lined up in the hallway being directed to the
left or right, depending on whether they are male or female.
An oversiBed soldier 1yelling in bro$en !nglish2" @irst6 4e clean6 Then we ta$e you eat6 ,ut first6
4e start the clean6
1+oderic$, &itchell, and 'enry enter the men*s wing and are directed to their beds.2
+oderic$" This is all vaguely reminiscent of summer camp.
&itchell" Summer camp56 ,oot camp, maybe.
'enry" 4hen he says, clean, do you thin$ he means communal showers5
+oderic$" Oh / have no doubt we*ll be ta$ing plenty of those, but / thin$ he*s referring to this.
1+oderic$ waves his hand around the messy dorms which not only have the rubble, but all the
student*s possessions strewn about.2
Soldier 1coming in with garbage bags2" Throw everything6 !0cept clothes6 3ou wear clothes6 1'e
is distributing the bags.2
+oderic$" / don*t thin$ he actually means throw everything, do you5
Soldier" Cuiet6 3ou tal$, you die6
1The men begin putting everything, including the rubble, into the garbage bags while soldiers watch.
40
+eluctantly, +oderic$ removes a poster above his bed of an under%dressed woman. /n the women*s
dorms, the same activity is going on e0cept that they haven*t been instructed to be 7uiet.2
#lio" 'ello6 1She is trying to get the attention of any soldier.2 'ello6 'ey66 4ho*s the matron
here6 /t*s freeBing in here6 Tell them to turn on the bloody heat6 'ey6 /*m tal$ing to you6
1An oversiBed soldier who is in charge has heard #lio from the men*s dorm and come in to
investigate.2
OversiBed soldier 1sneeringly2" Trouble5
#lio" 3ou bet there*s trouble6 /t*s bloody freeBing in here6 &y hands are chapped6 / can*t pic$ up
all this...1she surveys the ground in disgust2 crap with chapped hands6
OversiBed soldier" 3ou tal$, you die. 1'e turns and wal$s out.2
#lio 1mimic$ing him2" 3ou tal$, you die. That-s original. Aidn*t get that from a movie, or
anything.
1The soldiers loo$ bemused. They are young and it is obvious that they are a far way from home.
They haven*t become hardened veterans of war yet.2
Oh this is great. 1#lio is loo$ing in the clothes closet beside her bed. She holds up a particularly
large dress.2 /s this a muumuu5 -lease do not tell me that / have to go through this wretched
e0perience wearing a muumuu.
1!linor opens up her closet and pulls out a particularly small red shirt covered in se7uins. She
sighs.2
41
EPISODE FOUR
Scene O!
Setting" !arly in the morning, several days later. 4omen*s dorms. #lio is wearing a gigantic floral
dress. !linor is in a tight hot pin$ sweater and leggings.
#lio 1shrie$ing at a soldier2" ,LOOA3 '!LL6 / 4AT SO&! RE&( TA&-OS6 ot this stuff
made out of tree bar$6 ot this crappy little thing that / can*t even bloody insert because the damn
cardboard applicator bends in half upon bodily contact6 As far as /*m concerned, you can stic$ this
wretched piece of crap up your butt6666 1She throws the tampon at his feet. The soldier loo$s li$e
he*s enjoying himself.2
!linor 1loo$ing around in the drawer by her bed2" 'ere*s a 7uarter. (o buy one from the dispenser
in the bathroom.
#lio 1ta$ing it2" 4hy do / get the one girl who has no interest in feminine protection5 'ow am /
supposed to haul bric$s around all day if /*m bleeding to death5 4hat brand does yours have5
!linor" O,.
#lio" 3ou are so luc$y. 4hen the blac$ mar$et gets going here you are going to have it made.
!linor" / was actually planning on using them at some point...
1,ut #lio is heading for the bathroom.2
Scene T4O
Setting" The ne0t day. The university cafeteria. /t was never a nice place but now seems
particularly dismal. +oderic$, 'enry, &itchell, #lio, and !linor are sitting together. All are dressed
peculiarly. !ither their clothing is too small or too big. #lio is in the muumuu, while !linor is in
the tight se7uinned top with a blac$ mini%s$irt.
+oderic$" /*ve heard some interesting rumours. Once we finish cleaning this building, we*re here to
wor$ on the computers...
'enry" The computers6 Oh dear (od6 1'e mutters a prayer.2 ,ut / don*t even $now how to turn on
a computer6
+oderic$" @a$e it. They*ll be e0ecuting everyone without computer s$ills. That*s the only reason
we*re here. To maintain their system while they fight the war...
42
&itchell" 4ait a sec6 4here*d you hear all this5
+oderic$" / have my sources.
&itchell" 4hen did you develop sources5 3ou*ve been with us the whole time6
+oderic$" / have my ways.
'enry 1to himself2" /*m dead.
!linor" 4e*re all dead. / don*t remember a thing from school. 1She turns to #lio.2 Aidn*t you have
a programming class5
#lio" 3eah, because it was taught by that yummy%loo$ing &r. 'aiman. +emember him5 / didn*t
actually learn anything.
+oderic$ 1leaning forward2" Listen to me6 4e are simply going to have to fake it. O=5 o one
will ever figure it out6 There are at least five hundred people here. 4e*ll get lost in the crowd. o
one will ever realise we have no idea what we*re doing if we just got on those computers and start
banging away.
!linor" ,ut won*t they test us5 4on*t there be some sort of screening...5
+oderic$" 3es6 ,ut for the people who aren*t computer programmers6 They*re going to be as$ing
us today what we do. 4e all have to say we went to university together and we majored in
computer sciences. There won*t be a test for us then. There will be a test for people who were
construction wor$ers and dairy farmers and ta0i drivers, but not for people who say they*re computer
programmers. obody $nows about this yet so no one will $now to lie about it.
&itchell" 'ow did you find this out5
+oderic$ 1waving away the 7uestion2" Trust me. / know.
#lio" 4hat are they going to do to the people who don*t have computer s$ills5
+oderic$ 1loo$s at her2" They can*t $eep them. 1'e loo$s down at the table.2 &ost li$ely they*ll be
shot. They*ll $eep a few of the strong ones around to do some manual labour jobs, but that*s about
it.
!linor" Then we*ve got to tell people6 4e*ve got to tell them to say they*re computer programmers6
1She loo$s as if she*s about to stand up. +oderic$ grabs her arm.2
+oderic$" 4e can*t6 They*d become suspicious if e"eryone was a computer scientist and then they
43
would start testing. ,esides, the only way we can get lost in the crowd is if we*re surrounded by
people who $now what they*re doing. That way, hopefully, no one will notice we*re not doing
anything.
'enry 1panic$ing2" / don*t li$e this. / don*t li$e this at all6 /*m not a survivor6 /*m not one of those
people in history who would have risen out of poverty to form a...1he pauses to thin$2 toothpaste
empire, or something. / am the type of person who is $ept by some older woman with poodles and
lots of diamonds.
+oderic$ 1getting irritated2" 4ell, you*re going to have to pull yourself together because we*re all in
this together. #omputer people hang around with computer people. /f one of us is a complete
computer illiterate it*s going to ma$e them suspicious of all of us. -ull yourself together6 All we
have to do is act the part and we*ve got it made.
'enry 1emphatically2" ,ut how are we going to get away with it5
+oderic$ 1begins to sing2" =hen ! was a lad ! ser"ed a term as office #oy to an &ttorney-s firm. !
cleaned the windows and swept the floor and ! polished up the handle of the #ig front door. !
polished up the handle so carefully that now ! am the Ruler of the >ueen-s ?a"y$ /n other words,
stic$ close to your des$ and never go to sea.
Scene T'+!!
Setting" The ne0t day. The university*s computer lab. There are rows and rows of tables with
computers. +oderic$, 'enry, and &itchell are at the front of a line of people being directed to
specific monitors.

Soldier 1leading +oderic$, 'enry, and &itchell to their computers at the front of the room2" Since
you study together, we putting you in charge of maintaining de system. Trouble%shooting5 /s that
what you call it5 3our inferior e7uipment ma$es a system crash inevitable. 4hen it happens, you
will, how you say it, rectum it.
1They stare at him.2
+oderic$" / thin$ you mean, rectify it.
1Only +oderic$ loo$s calm. &itchell loo$s pensive. 'enry loo$s petrified.2
Soldier" Than$ you.
+oderic$" o problemo.
1They sit down in front of their respective computers while the soldier goes off to direct other people
44
to their computers.2
4ell...here we are.
'enry" 'ere we are5 +ere we are* 'ere we are5 1'e seems at a complete loss to thin$ of
anything else to say.2
+oderic$" umber one rule, 'enry. Aon*t panic. umber two, act confident.
'enry" 'ow do you turn these things on5
+oderic$" Shhhhh6
1'e and &itchell begin to discreetly e0amine their monitors loo$ing for the :On: switch.2
&itchell" Aidn*t we learn this in school5
+oderic$" o. They were always turned on when we came in.
'enry" /*m not panic$ing, +oderic$, but isn*t it going to be hard acting confident when we don*t
even $now how to turn the bloody things on5
+oderic$" / want you to very discreetly glance around the room and see if anyone else has their
computer going.
1'enry scans the room.2
'enry 1his voice holds the beginnings of panic2" o, +oderic$. They)re all watching us. They are
waiting for us to do something.
+oderic$ 1straining for thought2" O=. 4e have to loo$ li$e we $now what we*re doing...
1/n despair, 'enry*s head falls on his screen. /nstantly the screen lights up. Obviously the computer
is activated by touch. +oderic$, &itchell and 'enry stare at 'enry*s computer screen.2
Fery good, 'enry. 1'e cautiously puts a palm on his screen and his computer starts up. &itchell
follows his e0ample.2
O=. 4e*re in. 1umbers and letters are flying by on the screen.2 The rest is going to be easy.
Scene @O.+
Setting" Same day. A room full of filing cabinets. A crowd of women, including #lio and !linor,
45
are receiving instructions from an earnest pale soldier while other soldiers distribute huge piles of
file folders to them. They are then directed to their various filing cabinets depending on what letter
their files begin with.
#lio" @iling5 They want us to file*
!linor 1seems pleased2" 4ell this seems easy enough. / mean, /*d be doing this bac$ home...1Thin$s
about this.2 4ell, not that we left home, e0actly, but you $now what / mean...
#lio" ,ut what was all that +oderic$ was saying about having to $now about computers...5
Soldier passing by" 4O+=6
1#lio glances at him and as a concession opens one of her filing drawers but as soon as he passes she
continues tal$ing.2
#lio" / thought we*d just be sitting at a computer diddling around all day, not standing...
1The soldier has stormed bac$.2
Soldier" 3ou6 4or$6
#lio 1provocatively2" Or else5
1The soldier just stares at her.2
Soldier" Or else, die. 3ou will receive no further warnings.
1'e continues to stand there waiting for her to resume her filing. 4ith a shrug in the direction of
!linor, #lio pic$s up one of her files, glances at it and stic$s it in the filing cabinet. The randomness
of her gesture suggests she has not bothered to file it correctly. @ortunately, the soldier doesn*t pic$
up on this. !ventually he moves on.2
#lio" /*d give anything to be one of the guys in front of their stupid little computers.
Scene @/F!
Setting" Same day. The computer lab.
+oderic$" O=, / admit it, we*re screwed.
1Their screens have hit a # prompt and every word they*ve typed in has received a :,ad command
or file name.:2
46
+oderic$" 4e*ve typed in every computer word / could thin$ of. #ode, bac$%up, silicon, disc,
monitor, power, turbo, reset, megas, rams...
'enry 1sarcastically2" 4e might as well just type in peanut butter. 1'e does.2 Or jam. 1'e does2
Or gourmet. 1'e does.2
&itchell" .h%oh.
1The soldier in charge is heading towards them.2
'enry 1continuing, not aware of the panic2" Or menu. 1'e does.2 'ey loo$6
1A whole screen with options has appeared. @rantically &itchell and +oderic$ type in :menu: and
their screens come up just as the soldier appears by their monitors.2
Soldier 1glancing at their screens2" 3ou will be wor$ing primarily in section five, Systems
&aintenance. ,ut you don*t need me to tell you that.
1'e wanders off. +oderic$, &itchell and 'enry all clic$ :8: on their $eyboard.2
'enry" 4ell / don*t see how this is going to help us.
1A complicated screen of what seems to be computer programs has appeared.2
+oderic$" This is what we maintain. 4e just ma$e sure it loo$s O=. @i0 the glitches, that sort of
thing.
'enry 1incredulously2" Are you on drugs5 'ow do we tell if it*s O=5 'ow do we fi0 the glitches
when the whole thing loo$s li$e a glitch5
+oderic$" / dunno. /*m just telling you how it is. /*m not saying how we do it.
1A soldier starts coming toward them.2
O=6 Loo$ busy6
1+oderic$ and &itchell pretend to be e0amining their screens. -anic$ing, 'enry begins to type for
his life.2
Soldier 1stopping at 'enry*s des$2" Fery interesting6 3ou are too young to be of the old school,
yes5 3ou don*t li$e the mouse, perhaps5
'enry 1blan$ly2" The mouse5
47
1The soldier pic$s up 'enry*s mouse and raises his eyebrows.2
'enry" Oh the mouse6 / always thought that was called a rat. Oh well...
1The soldier is staring at him.2
o, but the truth is / li$e to type. / li$e to feel the control of the $eyboard beneath my fingers...
Soldier" / am impressed. To the best of my $nowledge, you Americans...
'enry" #anadians.
Soldier" Ao not interrupt me again6 3ou will be anything / tell you6 /*m calling you American and
so you are American6 And to the best of my $nowledge, you &mericans have not advanced beyond
4indows. 3our typing leads me to believe you have an idea of !uropean technology, yes5
'enry 1not wishing to be contrary again2" Oh yes.
Soldier" Although no doubt you obtained your s$ills in some surreptitious manner that deserves
punishment, / will not do so. / promise, however, you will have a chance to demonstrate your s$ills
in the future.
'enry 1confused2" ,y s$ills5
+oderic$ 17uic$ly2" /f it wouldn*t be too rude to as$, just e0actly what $ind of system are we
maintaining5 /t might help us to do our job better.
Soldier 1turning to him2" 3ou will do your job with or without my help because if you don*t, you
will die. All you need to do is ma$e sure there are no viruses and no discrepancies in the system.
+oderic$ 1agreeably2" O=.
1The soldier moves on.2
'enry 1whispering loudly2" / thin$ / realise what the problem with this whole thing is6 Ao you
thin$ it*s possible they invaded the wrong country5
48
EPISODE FIVE
Scene O!
Setting" !arly morning. Several days later. The women*s dorms. #lio and !linor are tal$ing as
they file their nails. #lio is wearing voluminous harem pants with an oversiBed sweater that in itself
could be a dress. !linor is in a tight leopard%s$in pant%suit with a sheeps$in coat over it.
!linor" / thin$ we should start a prayer group, or something. 3ou $now, $eep up the morale.
#lio 1putting down her nail file and beginning to e0amine her hair2" 3eah, that*s a good idea.
&aybe we can get the female renaissance thing going too. Loo$ at these split ends6 /t*s disgusting6
'ow is this happening when grease is ooBing out of my head5 4hy did they confiscate all the
shampoo5 'ey6 '!36 1She gets one of the soldier*s attentions.2 4hy did you ta$e our shampoo,
huh5
1The soldiers laugh. They seem to enjoy #lio*s outbursts.2
Soldier" ,ecause we want to loo$ pretty too6 4e ta$e your shampoo so we can loo$ good6
#lio" /*ve got news for you buddy6 A little shampoo isn*t gonna do it. 1Turns bac$ to !linor.2 This
really is the pits. &y hair is so disgustingly oily. 'ey6 &aybe / can count this as some sort of oil
treatment6 ,ut then, why isn*t it doing anything to help my split ends5 &aybe the problem is, it has
to be hot oil, because, (od $nows, it is certainly not hot in here. /t is bloody cold.
!linor" / actually feel fine.
#lio" That*s because your girl owned a frea$in* sheeps$in coat while my girl was obviously so fat
that she didn*t need any further insulation.
!linor" 4ell, if it*s any consolation, my face is brea$ing out and / wish / had some cover%up.
#lio" /t*s no consolation, whatsoever.
Scene T4O
Setting" Same day. ,rea$fast. The cafeteria. +oderic$, 'enry, &itchell, #lio, and !linor are
seated at their table.
+oderic$" 4e have got to stay on our toes6 / don*t want to alarm you but /)ve heard rumours that
they*ve set up some sort of e0ecution area in the athletic compound. Anyone who*s not serving their
purposes is being shot and buried...
49
&itchell" =here do you find these things out.
+oderic$" / have a source. -lus, / was tal$ing to Jim, that guy that sleeps at the end of our dorm,
you $now the big one...
&itchell" 3eah, yeah, / $now him. Sleeps by the bathroom door. 4hat about him5
+oderic$" 'e wor$s in the gym, although lately his job has consisted of digging up the football field
to bury the remains.
1!linor and #lio are loo$ing ill.2
&itchell" ,ut the field must be froBen6
+oderic$" 3eah, but they don*t have to dig too deep. The bodies are burned first so there*s not a
whole lot to bury.
&itchell" ,urned5 Aon*t tell me that*s what that awful smell has been...
+oderic$" That*s e0actly what that awful smell has been. And if we don*t $eep it up, they*re going
to be smelling us...
'enry 1dramatically and desperately2" Let them burn me6 /*d rather be dead than having to wor$
twelve hours a day pretending / $now what /*m doing6 /)m sic$ with jealousy when / thin$ of being
shot out of my misery6 Ao you $now what a strain /*ve been under this last wee$6 /t*s only by an act
of (od that the whole system hasn*t crashed with me sitting there, typing furiously, with no bloody
idea what /*m doing6
#lio" Spea$ing of blood, my lips are crac$ing. 1She loo$s around the room as if hoping that
someone with a chapstic$ will appear.2
!linor" &y face is a mess, though / suppose that*s better than dying. /*m not complaining.
#lio" ,y face is blotchy6 ! am the mess6 Of course, death isn*t fun but if /*m going to live it would
be nice to have some foundation. And not just any foundation6 / want LancQme &a7uicontrQle
@oundation. / don*t care if the @rench are the enemy6
&itchell" / don*t thin$ the @rench are the enemy, e0actly. / mean, there may be a few @renchmen
here, but / thin$ that*s incidental...
#lio" That*s really not the point.
!linor 1to no one in particular2" /)m starting to firmly believe that prayer might be the answer to this
50
whole thing.
51
Scene T'+!!
Setting" A few days later. The filing room. #lio is wearing a gigantic pin$ prom dress with an
oversiBed cardigan. !linor is in a tight red dress that loo$s as if it*s made of Spande0.
#lio" / really don*t understand what 'enry is complaining about. 'e doesn*t have to stand on his
feet for twelve hours.
!linor" / have a feeling their jobs are a little more comple0 than just sitting for twelve hours.

1There*s a loud noise coming from #lio*s direction.2
4hat was that56
#lio" / just farted. / don*t see any reason to hold it in. /t*s not li$e this is Ascot, or something. And
it*s not li$e they*re going to ration out -haByme tablets to those courteous enough to hold it in.
Scene @O.+
Setting" The same day. The computer room.
'enry" Loo$ at that guy over there...
1'e points to a young man in the corner who is polishing some coffee mugs while a coffee ma$er is
boiling a fresh pot.2
That-s the job / would have li$ed. 'ow did he luc$ out li$e that5
+oderic$" 'e wor$ed at Second #up.
'enry" 'ow did they find out5
+oderic$" 'e told them when they were as$ing us what we did before the war.
'enry 1with rising anger2" ,ut you said that they*d $ill anyone who wasn*t a computer programmer6
3ou never said anything about people who $new how to ma$e coffee6 ! $now how to ma$e coffee6
@or that matter, / also $now how to polish fruit6 /f /*d told them /*d wor$ed in a produce department
during high school, / might be polishing apples now instead of trying to figure out how this damn
machine wor$s6
+oderic$ 1shrugging2" &y source said nothing about coffee%ma$ers.
'enry 1furious2" 3our source6 3our precious source6 4ell /*ll tell you something, /*m sic$ of your
52
source6
1The soldier in charge appears. 'enry instantly loo$s terrified.2
Soldier 1sarcastically2" -roblems, gentlemen5
1There is a sense that he has learned to spea$ !nglish by watching movies.2
+oderic$" 4e were just trying to decide whether the c drive is safer than the n drive. 4ith regards
to hac$ers, that is...
Soldier 1turning to 'enry2" /s this true5 Are we in danger5
'enry 1obviously wor$ing himself up to some level of courage2" Sir, we are always in danger.
+oderic$ is right. These, um, hackers, are everywhere. / would go so far as to say the problem
might be internal.
Soldier" !nternal* 3ou are telling me that the danger is not coming from outside5
'enry" 4ell, the outside is always a problem, of course. ,ut thin$ about it, / imagine most people
on the outside aren*t fiddling with their computers. They*re concerned with survival, with food and
$eeping warm. /t*s the people here who are on these computers all day. Any sabotage is going on
right here. 1'enry is obviously beginning to enjoy himself.2
Soldier 1loo$ing around2" 3ou mean, in this very room5
'enry" /*m not so sure. 4hoever is doing this is covering his trac$s. 'e is ma$ing it appear that it
is coming from this room, but / suspect that is a decoy and he is in fact wor$ing on a monitor
somewhere else on the campus. / could try to trac$ his movements, if you*d li$e, but it*s more li$ely
you could find him by chec$ing out all the other computer stations around campus, particularly the
people who wor$ alone. Loo$ for suspicious behaviour...
1The soldier wal$s off mid%sentence, a loo$ of concerned concentration on his face.2
+oderic$" / wish /*d thought of that.
'enry 1loo$ing pleased with himself2" 4hy5
+oderic$" ,ecause on a campus this siBe, there*s bound to be someone wor$ing on a computer who
loo$s suspicious and when they catch him, you*ll be a hero.
'enry" &aybe they*ll let me ma$e coffee after that.
53
Scene @/F!
Setting" Several days later. The women*s dorms. A group of soldiers have just entered to find an
assembly of woman singing, led by !linor and #lio.
Assembly 1singing2" !mmortal in"isi#le 1od only wise...
!linor 1to the soldiers when the song is done2" (ood evening6 4hy don*t you join us6
1The soldiers snic$er before ta$ing their seats that are located at the ends of and by the doorways of
the dormitory. !linor loo$s li$e she wants to say more but remembers she has a group of women in
front of her and turns bac$ to them.2
!linor" O=, #lio is now handing out the words to &ll Things ?ow (i"ing. 'ow many of you
already $now it5
One person puts up her hand.2
O=, one, two three... &ll things now li"ing...
1They continue singing.2
54
EPISODE SIX
Scene O!
Setting" The ne0t day. Ainner. The cafeteria.
'enry 1to +oderic$2" / am so ,&D6 / can*t believe that you are now allowed to wander the halls of
this entire campus loo$ing for something suspicious6 ! should be doing that6 / was the one who
discovered something suspicious6
+oderic$" That*s why they need you in front of the computer monitor. So you can discover
suspicious things. 4hereas, /, 1he glances at his fingernails2 am not so important, yet am
$nowledgeable enough to spot suspicious computer behaviour. ,esides, it*s not li$e it*s all fun. /*ve
got a soldier escorting me and the pressure is on to find something.
'enry" 4ell you*d bloody well better find something or it*s going to ma$e me loo$ $ind of bad.
+oderic$" Oh, don*t you worry your pretty little head. /*ll find someone up to no good even if it
means sending some nice innocent student to the gas chamber. Then we*ll #oth be heroes.
&itchell" 4hat about me5 #an*t / do anything to be a hero5
+oderic$" Aefinitely not6 4e don*t want them to become suspicious of too much heroism. 3ou
just sit there and be 7uiet and fiddle your mouse.
#lio" / was told if / give a certain soldier a certain $ind of satisfaction, he*d move me up to head
filer.
!linor 1horrified2" That*s disgusting6 / didn*t $now that6 4hat did you tell him5
#lio" That he could suc$ his own...
1!linor clears her throat loudly2.
...and, of course, that the job suc$ed. Aid he thin$ he was actually offering me a promotion5 'ead
filer5 -uh%lease6 /*d still have to file, /*d just get to file the more important papers. ,ig whoop%dee%
do. (et me a job lying around on a chaise lounge all day drin$ing gin and /*ll consider it, / said to
him.
&itchell" 4as he mad5
#lio" Of course he was mad. All man are a little mad. / learned that years ago. Loo$. 1She holds
up a small pac$age.2 'e even gave me some matches. As a to$en of his affection, / suppose. 4hat
55
the hell am / supposed to do with some matches5 /t*s not li$e there*re any cigarettes to go with them.
/ suppose / could set the files on fire, or something.
&itchell" 'ere. /*ll ta$e them.
#lio" Sure. 4hatever. 1She tosses him the pac$age.2
&itchell" So, / hear you*ve started a singing group.
!linor" Singing and prayer group, actually, although it*s mostly singing. #lio and / just wrote down
the words to all the hymns we $now since most people only have a vague idea of how they go. The
soldiers loo$ bored when we pray but actually join in with some of the songs they $now. 1lorious
Things of Thee &re 3poken is one of their favourites.
+oderic$ 1suddenly2" /*m going to start a group.
&itchell" 4hat $ind of group5
+oderic$ 1thin$ing fast2" .m, a, um, a tea%ma$ing group. /*m going to get everybody together who
li$es tea and we*re going to smuggle in sandwiches and ca$e and we*re going to have tea.
&itchell" That sounds li$e an edifying project.
+oderic$" /*m just doing my part to $eep up the morale.
'enry" / thin$ /*ll start a group. ,ut it*ll be a coffee%ma$ing group.
#lio" Aon*t you get enough coffee when you wor$5
'enry" 4e don*t get any coffee when we wor$. /t*s for the soldiers. /*ve had a caffeine headache
since we got here.
&itchell" ,ut where are you going to get the tea and coffee.
+oderic$" /*m sure / can get a few stupid tea%bags. Surely the $itchen would have some.
'enry" /*m going to get that coffee%ma$ing job, that*s what /*m going to do. As soon as /*m a hero,
that*s the job /*m as$ing for.
&itchell" ,ut who*ll ta$e your computer job5
'enry" +oderic$. 'e*ll be a hero too. They*ll let us do whatever we want.
56
Scene T4O
Setting" The ne0t day. The computer room. !verybody is present e0cept +oderic$. Suddenly
'enry*s computer begins to loudly beep.
'enry 1panic$ing2" Oh no6 4hat do / do6
&itchell" Stay calm6 1'e is rapidly scanning 'enry*s wor$ station from his des$.2
'enry 1nearly screaming2" System malfunction6 S3ST!& &AL@.#T/O6
&itchell" 3our printer*s out of paper, 'enry6 That*s all it is6
1,ut it*s too late, the head soldier is approaching, his eyes on 'enry. ow &itchell panics, realising
'enry*s ineptness will be discovered. Cuic$ly he pulls the matches out of his poc$et, lights one, and
discreetly inserts it into the paper tray of his printer. There is a whoosh and some flames.
&itchell 1screaming2" @/+!6
Scene T'+!!
Setting" The same day. Lunch. The cafeteria.
'enry 1glumly2" So now &itchell*s the hero for throwing a pot of coffee onto the fire and saving us
all and /*m the retard for not spotting the system malfunction that supposedly caused a printer to set
its own paper on fire. / offered to ta$e over the coffee%ma$ing job as punishment but the stupid
soldier said that now that / $now what a system malfunction loo$s li$e / won*t let it happen again. /t
sounded li$e a threat to me.
!linor" 4here*s +oderic$5
'enry 1indifferently2" / have no idea.
&itchell" -resumably still loo$ing for our mysterious hac$er.
!linor" /t*s really 7uite awful to thin$ someone might be e0ecuted because of what +oderic$ finds...
&itchell 1slowly2" .nfortunately, whoever it is will just be one of many. Aid you hear that noise in
the hall last night. Shuffling, footsteps, muffled voices5 / thin$ +oderic$*s right. / thin$ they*re
marching people to their deaths at night.
57
!linor" ,ut how come we don*t notice anything5 / mean, apart from that awful smell5
&itchell" 'aven*t you noticed how whenever we come in here there*re always new faces and yet the
numbers stay the same5 The only faces that don*t change are the computer people and the filing
people. / thin$ the manual labour people get recycled when they*ve been wor$ed to death.
#lio" +ecycled. That*s an interesting way of putting it.
&itchell" 4hat /*d li$e to $now is, what are they building5 4hat*s going on outside5 4hat*s....
1+oderic$ has just appeared at the table and has heard the last 7uestion. 'e sits down.2
+oderic$" A death machine. They*re building a death machine. 4e are living in the nucleus of a
very effective death machine. This is not a concentration camp. This is no storage of human beings
until the war is over and they can be liberated. Anyone that comes in here does a little bit of wor$
and then it*s over. @or anyone really young or old, it*s over right away.
&itchell" 'ow do you $now...5
+oderic$ 1interrupting2" /*ve been around this entire campus in the last day. /*ve seen out the
windows what*s going on. All the buildings have people going in but no one coming out. The only
normal everyday activities are going on right here in this building. Our dorms, apart from the
soldier*s living 7uarters, are the only buildings that are housing people on a long%term basis.
!linor 1wea$ly2" Oh (od.
+oderic$" ,ut you can*t tell anyone. ot your little prayer group, not anyone. As long as we*re
useful, we*ll stay alive until it*s over.
&itchell 1fear coming across as anger2" .ntil it*s over5 4hen is it going to be over5 /t doesn*t
sound li$e there*s much fighting going on out there if people are just wal$ing into this death camp6
4ho the hell is going to liberate us5
+oderic$" Shhhh6 / don*t $now6 / don*t $now who*s going to be left when it*s over6 &aybe the best
we can hope for is they*ll let us be serfs in their new regime...
!linor 1slowly2" ,ut why* 4hy $ill everyone5 =hy are they doing this to us.
'enry 1suddenly2" ,ecause they want to win. Fon #lausewitB says if you want to be successful in
war, you can only fight to win. These people want to win.
1There is a long pause.2
&itchell 1to +oderic$2" Aid you get your man5
58
+oderic$ 1tiredly2" 3eah. / got my man. Some poor suc$er wor$ing in a corner office by himself.
Screamed he was innocent all the way to the gas chamber.
Scene @O.+
Setting" A few days later. The women*s dorms. #lio, in an oversiBed sweatsuit, is on the floor
wor$ing out with a thigh master. !linor, in leggings and a s$impy leather jac$et, is e0amining her
face in a compact.
#lio" /*m bored.
!linor" 4ell, we*ve got people coming over to sing in a few minutes.
#lio" 4e*ve got to do more than sing. / dunno. / thin$ we should start a real religion. / mean, no
one else is. /t*s not li$e there are any priests to denounce us as heretics. /t*s just an idea. &aybe /*ll
just join +oderic$*s tea%drin$ing group when it starts.

!linor" / honestly don*t see how that*s going to help anyone.
#lio" 4ell, / guess somebody*s got to preserve civilisation. There is a ritual to ma$ing tea that is
very soothing. /f we can*t be civilised in the middle of this chaos, then why live5
!linor" / $now you don*t mean that.
#lio" Actually, /*d be just as happy joining 'enry*s coffee%ma$ing group if he ever got it going.
!linor" / can imagine how far that would go. +oderic$ starts a tea%drin$ing group while 'enry
starts a coffee%drin$ing group. /mmediately they*ve set themselves up as rivals. The tea drin$ers
have a slight contempt for the coffee drin$ers and vice versa which escalates into open animosity.
-retty soon we have a mini%war in the midst of this greater war. ,ut you*re absolutely right. /n a
biBarre way it*ll be preserving civilisation. ,ut in any case, it*s not going to happen. 'enry*s given
up on the coffee thing. 'e and &itchell now ma$e up crossword puBBles and swap them. &aybe
you could get in on that.
#lio 1sitting up2" Oh /*m so sure6 #an you imagine what some of the words are5 'enry*s clues will
be things li$e :apoleon)s third battle: and &itchell*s will be things li$e :!gyptian symbol for the
letter A.:
1Some girls come into the room for the singing group. They greet each other. #lio stows the thigh
master under her bed.2
Scene @/F!
59
Setting" Several days later. #afeteria.
&itchell" One thing we can*t complain about is the food.
+oderic$" o. 3ou*re right. /t*s e0cellent. /t*s probably because they*re raiding the surrounding
area and bringing bac$ the booty.
!linor" 3ou mean, our families are starving so we can eat well5
+oderic$ 1gently2" !linor, our families are probably dead. .nless they escaped somehow, they*ve
probably passed through here a couple of wee$s ago...
1!linor pushes her food away and loo$s sic$.2
!linor, they*re probably better off than we are. Their suffering is over. Ours may still be coming.
'enry 1sarcastically2" That is so comforting.
!linor 17uietly2" / miss them. / miss them more than you can imagine. 1She is about to cry.2
&itchell 1reaching across the table and holding her hand2" / $now. /t ta$es so much bravery to just
$eep carrying on here as if we haven*t lost everything.
+oderic$" This whole thing could be seen as an opportunity...
&itchell 1sharply2" This is not an opportunity. This is a bloody awful time we*re living in. To see
any good in it is to deny the inherent evil of it.
+oderic$ 1sighing2" Oh the philosophical discussions we could have had in better days.
60
EPISODE SEVEN
Scene O!
Setting" Several days later. &en*s dorm. &itchell and 'enry are tal$ing as they wor$ on each
other*s respective crosswords. +oderic$ isn*t present.
'enry" /*ve never li$ed stories with happy endings so maybe / deserve this. / mean, if / enjoy
reading about other people suffering, / deserve to suffer.
&itchell" / don*t thin$ not li$ing happy endings means you deserve to suffer. / thin$ it just means
you don*t e0pect happy endings.

'enry" 3ou mean, if / believed in heroes, maybe /*d be a hero and try to ma$e an escape, or
something5 Li$e in a movie5
&itchell" !0actly. 'ow am / supposed to get this one5 1'e reads the crossword clue.2 :Aouble
tablets joined by hinges or string5:
'enry" Oh, that*s a good one, isn*t it5 /*ll give you a clue. /t*s a (ree$ word that means double%
folded. 'ow am / supposed to get :&istress of 'eaven5: There must have been a Billion mistresses
of heaven6
&itchell" 3eah, but not all of them have four letters. ,esides, you*re supposed to figure it out from
the letters of the other words.
'enry" / don*t have any of the other words. / need this word to get some of those words. /t*s /sis,
isn*t it5 1'e loo$s at &itchell for confirmation and receives none.2 4ell, /*m putting down /sis.
Oh6 This is a good one6 :#hristopher +obin*s bear.: 1'e writes :-ooh: in the space.2 / bet you
didn*t thin$ /*d ever read those stories. +emember that tiddly%pom story5 1'e begins to sing.2 &y
toes are cold6 Tiddly%pom6 &y toes are cold6 Tiddly%pom6 1'e stops singing with the realisation of
something.2 'ey6 &y toes are cold6
Scene T4O
Setting" Same day. The women*s dorms. #lio has rolled up her baggy pants and is e0amining her
legs. !linor, in a purple leather dress, is reading.
#lio" / am appalled by the hairiness of my legs. / dread the summer.
!linor" / will just be happy if we survive till the summer.
61
#lio" 4hatcha reading5
!linor" The -rayer ,oo$.
#lio" The Prayer 2ook* 'ow*d you get a hold of that5
!linor" / found it in a bo0 by that e0it beside the $itchen. / thin$ they must be cleaning out some
old archives because there were tons of boo$s in bo0es.
#lio" -robably that was what that big bonfire was all about last night. This place must have once
had a big library with boo$s and everything.
!linor" They probably needed the space that they were stored in for some nefarious deeds.
#lio" o doubt. 4hat are you reading5
!linor" +e shall deli"er thee from the snare of the hunter@ and from the noisome pestilence. +e
shall defend thee under his wings and thou shalt #e safe under his feathers@ his faithfulness and
truth shall #e thy shield and #uckler. Thou shalt not #e afraid for any terror #y night@ nor for the
arrow that flieth #y dayA For the pestilence that walketh in darkness@ nor for the sickness that
destroyeth in the noon.day. & thousand shall fall #eside thee and ten thousand at thy right hand@
#ut it shall not come nigh thee.
#lio" That*s good. #omforting, / mean. +efers to (od)s protection, / suppose.
!linor 1smiling2" / suppose that*s the intention, yes.
#lio" 3ou $now, even though it)s easy to imagine #hrist as a man, the idea of #hrist has always
been elusive. / mean, he seems a little hard to believe.
!linor 1leaning forward2" 'e is a very elusive character. There*s no doubt about that. A few
healings, some parables, but no mention of who he was as a man. / attribute it to the fact that no
gospel written by a woman has survived, if in fact there ever was one. / imagine there was.
#lio" 4ell, it)s li$e we were saying, he must have been amaBing if all those woman followed him
around and gave him money. That)s the e0perience / would have li$ed to have had rather than just
reading about him because / thin$ it would have been different if we*d met him. The problem isn*t
Jesus #hrist. The problem is how people have interpreted him and spo$en on his behalf. 3ou
$now, we should write something. 4hile we*re here in this adverse situation. / don)t $now what
e0actly we should write but / mean, / want to go beyond just subsisting on what*s already been
written.
!linor" There are a lot of people who will subsist on what)s already written. There*s a lot of
frightened people here that need to hear that they)re being $ept safe under his feathers, so to spea$.
62
,ut (od seems to have given you a gift of courage that the rest of us don)t have.
#lio" The people who are frightened are the ones who want to be somewhere else. ,elieve it or not,
/ don*t really care where / am. / feel li$e we*re here for a reason. ,esides, no matter how everyone
acts, life before this war wasn*t rapturous bliss. 4e had our little lives and our little jobs and if we
were honest, it was all going nowhere. !0cept, of course, that we didn*t have the e0tremely
annoying inconvenience of no raBors.
Scene T'+!!
Setting" Several days later. The filing room. #lio, dressed in a voluminous Arabic%style robe, is
having a heated discussion with a soldier.
#lio" A pee pass5 A pee pass5 /s this what you*re saying5 Are you telling me that / will now only
be allowed to go to the bathroom twice a day5
Soldier" /t is because of people li$e you who go too much.
#lio 1incredulously2" / go too much5 / don*t go more than once an hour6 / refuse to participate in
this pee pass thing. 4hat do you thin$ / am5 Some poor immigrant in a sweatshop desperate for
money5 4ell /*ve got news for you, we are not getting paid. This is "olunteer wor$. Therefore,
your pee pass idea is stupid.
Soldier" /f you go more than twice a day you will be shot.
1'e turns and wal$s away.2
Scene @O.+
Setting" The same day. Ainner. The cafeteria. The five are all present at their table.
'enry" 4hat*s that awful smell5
!linor" That*s #lio. She peed her pants, so to spea$, si0 times today. She didn*t even bother to use
her bathroom pass.
#lio" 4ell, there really wasn*t much of a point, was there5 / $new / was going to have to go more
than twice.
&itchell" 4hat did the soldiers do when you, ahem, voided5
#lio" / don*t $now if they noticed. This dress hides everything. /t*s li$e a ,edouin outfit. The only
63
problem is, / made the mista$e of wearing underwear. / won*t do that tomorrow.
&itchell" ,ut surely they noticed a puddle around your files5
#lio" The floor*s covered in a dirty orange carpet. /t absorbs everything. ,esides, / didn*t just do it
in one place. / sort of moved around, mar$ing my territory so to spea$.
+oderic$" /n better times / would have said one word, Aepends.
#lio" /n better times / wouldn*t be stuc$ in a file room all day with homicidal maniacs giving me
permission to go to the bathroom according to their sadistic whims.
&itchell" /sn*t the room going to start to smell after awhile5
!linor" /t already does.
#lio" /t*s really not my problem.
+oderic$" /t*s a lot li$e Alice*s Adventures in 4onderland.
#lio" 'ow so5
+oderic$" 4ell, have you ever noticed how despite her abundant consumption of all those Drink
,e bottles and that tea at the &ad%'atter*s tea party Alice never as$s directions to the bathroom5
Tea, everybody. Tea. !verybody has to go to the bathroom after tea. And she was there all day.
&itchell" /t*s a boo$ of nonsense, +oderic$.
+oderic$" On the contrary, it*s e0ceedingly down%to%earth and logical. Lewis #arroll was a
mathematician, after all. ormal activities such as eating, drin$ing, ba$ing, playing cro7uet and
setting up a court with jurors are all carried out. And yet no one seems to need a washroom.
&itchell" 4ell, the solution obviously lies in the fact that Alice was dreaming and that the dream
too$ place within a matter of minutes. /f Alice needed to use the washroom while sleeping, she
would have li$ely invented one in the dream even if she didn*t actually use it.
+oderic$" -oint well ta$en. ,ut reading the boo$ for the first time there is no way of $nowing the
story is anything but a true account. /f children choose to adopt Alice as their hero they may be led
to believe that real children do not go to the bathroom.
&itchell" /s this an issue you*re really concerned about5
+oderic$" ot really. Actually, my grievance is that / would have li$ed to have seen inside a
4onderland washroom.
64
&itchell" 4ell, Lewis #arroll had to leave something to the imagination.
'enry 1loo$ing around2" /*ve always wondered, where do the soldiers go for lunch.
1There are only a few soldiers guarding the prisoners. ,ut there are none eating at tables.2
+oderic$" Oh, / $now. / found out when / was going around the campus that day. They hang out in
a Tim 'ortons on the other side of the building.
&itchell" 'ow sophisticated.
+oderic$" Aon*t moc$ it. 4hen we*re a fallen empire, someday a Tim 'ortons doughnut shop will
be li$e a &ittel!uropa cafP with its pale pastries dusted in powdered sugar evo$ing a feeling of lost
splendour.
'enry" Ao they actually have people ma$ing doughnuts and stuff5
+oderic$" 4ell sure. All the people who wor$ed in doughnut shops before the war.
1'enry groans and puts his head down on the table.2
Scene @/F!
Setting" The ne0t day. The computer room. A particularly pale plump man has his hand raised.
Soldier" 3eah5 4hat is it5
-lump man" /*d li$e to as$ 'enry why we*re ignoring the fact that the Firus Aetection .tility is only
chec$ing three of the four areas in the LA5
1The soldier, along with all the other programmers, turn to loo$ at 'enry.2
'enry 1hissing to &itchell2" 4hat the hell*s a lan5
&itchell 1whispering frantically2" Local Area etwor$6
'enry" 4ell, uh, you see, we*re running a test in the 1he pauses dramatically2 Local Area etwor$.
That is not a real failure in, um, what you said, but something we 1he signals to himself, +oderic$,
and &itchell2 created to appear to be a problem in the..., you $now...
-lump man" 4ell it loo$s li$e a problem to me.
65
'enry 1wor$ing up some courage2" 4ell, good6 ,ecause that shows we*re doing our job6 There*s
no point in trouble%shooting if you don*t have any trouble6
Soldier 1harshly2" 3our job is not to create trouble, you*re job is to prevent trouble.
'enry" Sir, that is e0actly what we are doing. 4e are preventing this problem from ever happening
in real life. /t will not happen sir. 4e*re all right on top of it.
Soldier" 3ou*d better be.
1'e wal$s away.2
+oderic$" 'ow do you come up with these things5
'enry" 4ell, as Aescartes would say, because / am a thin$ing thing.
+oderic$" 4ell than$ you, 'enry. At least now we*ll all be gassed together.
66
EPISODE EIGHT
Scene O!
Setting" The women*s dorms. #lio and !linor are seated on their beds surrounded by women. #lio
is tal$ing.
#lio" ...and interestingly enough, a Jewish +enaissance was thwarted by the last 'olocaust. The
only reason a @emale +enaissance has never flourished is because the feminist movement too$ a
wrong turn when it sent women out into the wor$force draining them of their energy and creativity.
/*m not tal$ing about every woman, but / am tal$ing about a lot of women, the ones who felt
increasingly frustrated about their inability to ma$e their dreams come true. The feminist movement
could have spear%headed a @emale +enaissance as women became more educated. ,ut then they
were suc$ered into thin$ing that liberation was being able to share the mortgage and the car
payments. Liberation should have come in the way they used their time and the respect their wor$
and art received. Art, Literature, -hilosophy, Science, the study of 'istory, all ta$e time.
!linor" And #hrist pointed out to everyone that &ary, who listened at his feet, had chosen the better
way than her sister &artha who was busy in the $itchen. / thin$ that*s the essence of what we*re
saying.
#lio" Absolutely. As / said, there*s been an /talian +enaissance, an !nglish +enaissance, a Autch
+enaissance, a @rench +enaissance, a ,lac$ +enaissance in 'arlem, an African +enaissance. 4hy
not a @emale +enaissance5
1A pale thin girl puts up her hand.2
Thin girl" ,ut why now5 4hy do this now when it feels li$e...
1She stops spea$ing as if it*s too horrible too continue.2
#lio" 4hen it feels li$e the world*s going to end5 That is e0actly why we should do it. =e will
e0plore what is good about life. 4e have freedom here because we have time. 4hat else are we
going to do when we*re not wor$ing. Should we sit around and be depressed5 The apostle -aul
wasn*t depressed when he was in prison.
!linor" And we have #hrist. 'e*s the ultimate freedom. /f we never believed it before, now is the
time to thin$ about the ramifications of that freedom. 4e can discuss ideas li$e that.
Thin girl" ,ut doesn*t it feel li$e civilisation is falling apart5 1She loo$s li$e she wants to cry.2
#lio" Let men worry about civilisation. They*re the ones who created it. /f women had created
civilisation, believe me, we wouldn*t be in this damn prison. 4e aren*t guardians of civilisation.
4e have to be guardians of wisdom. Sophia, if you will. 4e can pray for this wisdom. The
67
woman in the ,ible were often as oppressed as we were but they used wisdom to get what they
wanted. They saved nations. !sther seduced a $ing. Jael lured a general into her tent and drove a
tent peg threw his head. Aeborah led a battle. 4e can do anything we want. 4e live in e0citing
times. #ivilisation is crumbling. Therefore, we must rein"ent it. 4e must engage in a rebirth, a
renaissance, if you will.
A blonde girl" 4hat about the guys5 4ill they be in on it5
#lio" / have nothing against men but / have learned one thing in life, the desire to possess a man
causes a woman much anguish. A man cannot be our source for creativity and fulfilment. /f / could
have a guarantee that the men would approach us as human beings first and females second, /*d say,
by all means join us, the spirit of early #hristianity, and all that when they said there was neither
male nor female in #hrist. ,ut / honestly thin$ that it might not wor$ in this case. -lus, we have to
thin$ of the soldiers. +ight now they leave us alone because they just thin$ we*re religious frea$s
and since we*re all women they don*t see us as a threat. /f we added guys to our group they*d see our
activities as being subversive.
Thin girl" Are we being subversive5
#lio" Absolutely. / thin$ an appropriate song to sing now would be Onward 'hristian 3oldiers.
On the count of three...
Scene T4O
Setting" The ne0t day. The cafeteria. The five are sitting at their table when the plump man from
the computer lab approaches them.
-lump man" /*d li$e to $now what the RSLTSS is going on with you guys6 3ou*re going to get us
all in deep S6USSL.
1&itchell, +oderic$, and 'enry e0change loo$s.2
+oderic$" /f / were a Auchess / would say, !f e"ery#ody minded their own #usiness the world would
go round a deal faster than it does.
1The plump man just stares at him.2
Alice*s Adventures in 4onderland, you big banana head.
&itchell 1he*s spea$ing slowly to give himself time to thin$2" 4hat we*re doing is not that
complicated actually. 4hat we*re trying to do is ma$e up for the fact that we are dealing with
unknown viruses now that we*re cut off from the outside...
68
-lump man 1turning red with anger2" That*s bull66 3ou have no idea what you*re tal$ing about6 /t*s
our 4o# to detect those un$nown viruses66 That*s what we do6 1'e pauses to let this information be
absorbed.2 The e0isting virus chec$ ta$es care of the known viruses while we wor$ on identifying
and then protecting ourselves from the un$nown ones. ,eing cut off 1he mimics 7uotation mar$s2,
as you put it, has nothing to do with anything. 4e*re no more cut off than we were when this place
was a university. 4e aren-t cut off. That*s the whole point of computers6 (eography does not
separate computers6 T'AT*S 4'3 4! 'AF! TO -+OT!#T O.+S!LF!S @+O& F/+.S!S66
3ou may have those dipstic$ !uropeans fooled but you don*t have the rest of us fooled for a minute6
And let me tell you, no one is covering your sorry little butts6 3ou are on your own66 1'e stomps
off.2
'enry" / suppose this is cause for concern.
Scene T'+!!
Setting" Several days later. The women*s dorms. The final stanBa of The 2attle +ymn of the
Repu#lic is being sung.
#lio" That was great6 ow !linor and / had an idea, / don*t $now how many of you will want to do
this, but we were thin$ing that we*re not very empowered here, and yet, through #hrist we should
always feel strengthened, so what she and / are going to do is each start writing our autobiography,
not starting at some point in the past, but now. The idea is, if anyone else wants to do it, is to write
it in a novel form ma$ing yourself the heroine and doing all the things you*ve dreamed of.
1A red%haired girl raises her hand.2
+ed%haired girl" 4ould that be here in the camp or, li$e, things we*d li$e to do if we ever get out of
here...
#lio 1with the conviction and sincerity of a natural born preacher2" 4hatever you want. That*s the
whole point of the e0ercise. /t*s about you doing what you want to do, not what these goons are
telling us to do. 4e may not be able to live as boldly as we li$e, but we can sure as hell write
boldly.
!linor" This e0perience we*re going through may seem li$e the collapse of civilisation. ,ut we*ve
got to realise that men have had more of a vested interest in civilisation than we have. Success,
before we came here, was defined by how well we fit into a man*s world. ,ut here, that civilisation
doesn*t wor$. /t*s more brutal, yes. There*s the constant fear of rape and a lac$ of security and all
that. ,ut one thing there*s no room for is men*s bottom line solutions to problems. 4e have a
chance to reinvent the way people loo$ at life. 4e have a chance to liberate ourselves from, and /
hope this doesn*t sound li$e too much of a clichP, the shac$les of civilisation. 4hat /*m trying to say
is, we can hold onto the good and let go of the bad. Or to ta$e it a step further, as the apostle -aul
said, we can replace evil with good. ,ecause there is a lot of evil here. Our only weapon is good.
69
Love will get us through this.
#lio" 4e have to love one another and we have to love the things we do, and in a more esoteric
way, we have to love (od.
!linor" / thin$ in the past, women didn-t really love their lives. Often they pretended that a career
was as important to them as a relationship and denied their own emotions. They sold their souls, in
fact.
Thin girl" ,ut wasn*t a career what made so many women great5
!linor" 4ell the problem with careers was that everyone had one. A hundred years ago, however, /
would have said that what made a woman great was her commitment to a career because that was a
time when marriage was the only respectable option for women. The women who wanted to do
something else had to defy all convention to be true to themselves. ,ut / thin$ more recently, the
great women were the ones who had the courage to accept their emotions, ignore the ridicule, get
married and have the house and $ids and all.
Thin girl" ,ut doesn*t that go against the whole feminist movement...
!linor" 3es, but there never was a collective feminist agenda since it was impossible to represent
the needs of half the people on the planet. The feminist movement failed in that its goal should have
been to ma$e it possible for every woman to do whate"er it was she wanted to do. Loo$ing bac$,
it was virtually impossible for a woman who say, majored in 'istory or Literature or Art to really
e0cel in a man*s world unless she had a -h.A., which of course was time%consuming and e0pensive,
particularly if she wanted to have a husband and children. ever mind the fact that the whole
education system was founded by men. Ao any of us have a -h.A.5
1All sha$e their head.2
4ell, that doesn*t matter here. A piece of paper li$e that is so irrelevant here, isn*t it5 4e all do the
same mind%numbing filing job. ,ut one of the reasons we all meet together li$e this is so that our
collective thought and creativity is not wasted. 4hen you put together everything we all know, it*s a
lot. 4e*re no longer upholding and supporting civilisation. 4e are instead going to e0perience
Liberation which is freedom from fear, or if you will, @reedom which is liberation from fear. 4e
are no longer indebted to civilisation. So let*s recreate civilisation while we*re here. Let*s set out to
build a better world.
Let*s now bow our heads and pray for the courage to build that world...
Scene @O.+
Setting" Same day. Ainner. The cafeteria. The five are at their table. !linor and #lio are telling
the guys about their meeting but it*s more as if they are tal$ing to each other.
70
!linor" / $now we sound really fla$y and sappy when we*re tal$ing to them. / don*t $now what
happens, we just get carried away. Li$e, / $eep going on about civilisation, but what used to really
bug me was how / $new that if women had had a chance to create civilisation it would have been
different, maybe not better, but different. The irony was, we lived in a society that craved originality
and yet women seemed so 7uic$ to conform to a pre%fabricated system built on the bac$ of useless
livesD
#lio" ,ut the thing is, most people in the group don*t seem to mind. 4e get so little opposition
compared to what we*d have gotten bac$ in the so%called real world. / thin$ people need this right
now. / thin$, if anything, we err on the side of being apologetic for our beliefs. / mean, sometimes
we sound embarrassed about what we*re saying.
!linor" ,ut every now and then / get so self%conscious. Li$e /*m saying all these things that / used
to only thin$ in private and now it*s all coming out to a bunch of people / don*t $now...
#lio" That-s our greatest shortcoming, / thin$. 4e don*t know these people. 4e tal$ about love,
but we don*t love them. 4e love to tal$. /*ve noticed that. 4e*re somewhat detached.
!linor" 4ell, / li$e the idea of love as a concept. ,ut / don*t really need these people. / need new
ideas to sustain me.
#lio" These people need people. That*s why they*re there. 4e need each other and our ideas and
most of all, we get off on being the 'igh -riestess and 'igh -rophetess of our little world here.
!linor" That*s it6 That*s it e0actly6 /*m the -riestess and you*re the -rophetess and that*s enough for
me. /*m sustained by the meaningfulness of it.
1#lio nods.2
&itchell" 4ell, do you thin$ you holy people could say a prayer that a certain virus, and possibly a
couple hundred other viruses, in our computer die a natural death. 1'e sighs.2 Or else we*re going
to die a very unnatural death.
Scene @/F!
Setting" The ne0t day. The filing room. A soldier is passing by #lio*s filing cabinet. !linor is close
by.
#lio 1holds up one of the sheets of paper2" 4hat are these things anyway5
1The soldier laughs.2
71
Soldier" 3ou Americans...
#lio 1interrupts2" #anadians, we*re #anadians.
Soldier" / don*t care if you*re &ongolians. 3ou Americans are all the same. Just !nglish. That*s all
you $now. &aybe if you learned another language you*d $now what these are.
#lio" 4ell, / $now what they are. They*re forms of some sort. / just want to $now what they say.
Soldier 1starts to sniff2" 4hy does it always stin$ in your area5
#lio" /*ve only noticed it when you*re here.
1The soldier laughs.2
Soldier 1mimics2" /*ve only noticed it when you*re here. That*s good. ,ut you*d better be careful.
3ou*re name might end up on one of those things. 1'e gestures at the piece of paper in her hand.2
#lio" 4hat do you mean...5
Soldier 1coming closer2" This 1he points to a word at the top2 says 2orn. This 1he points to a word
at the bottom2 says Died. @unny, all the birth dates are different, and all the death dates are the
same.
#lio 1slowly2" 3ou mean, everyday that a soldier brings in a pile of papers for us all to file...
Soldier" ow you*re beginning to see.
1'e wanders off. #lio is left staring at the piece of paper in her hand.2
#lio 1hissing2" !linor6
!linor 17uietly, loo$ing down at her own piece of paper2" / $now. / heard. 4e*re filing an entire
life with every piece of paper.
72
EPISODE NINE
Scene O!
Setting" The same day. The computer room. &itchell, +oderic$, and 'enry are in a huddle.
+oderic$" O=6 Aon*t loo$ scared, 'enry6 Try to loo$ li$e we*re just tal$ing shop, you $now, a
little comparison of the best approach to ta$e, not that there aren*t a hundred ways we could solve
this problem, we are just so good, we want the #est way to do it, O=5
1'enry nods, still loo$ing terrified. +oderic$ ta$es a deep breath.2
ow, for some reason, everything on your computer gives you &#ort Retry Fail* /s that it, 'enry5
1'enry nods.2
Soldier 1calling from the bac$ of the room2" 4hat*s going on5
&itchell" !verything*s fine6 4e*re just comparing notes.
1Soldier shrugs and loo$s away. The soldiers seem bored of being cooped up in the computer room
all day and are content to just drin$ coffee at the bac$. The head soldier is missing today. Sub%titles
reveal their conversation.2
Soldier VG 1e0amining a coffee tin2" ,ountain grown. 1'e snorts.2 /*m so sure6 Li$e it was grown
on a mountain6
Soldier V9" Actually, / thin$ it was.
Soldier VG" Oh.
&itchell" ow, the first thing / thin$ you should do is try Retry, don*t you thin$5
+oderic$" Sounds good. Try that 'enry. Just type R and hit Enter.
1'enry does this. A few numbers flash by the screen but the &#ort Retry Fail* reappears.2
,loody hell6 That doesn*t leave us much of a choice6 4hat*s the difference between &#ort and
Fail, anyhow5
&itchell" &#ort sounds li$e you*re just cutting your losses. Fail sounds li$e a complete admission
of defeat. 4hat e0actly were you wor$ing in, anyhow, 'enry5
73
'enry" 3ou $now, that virus thing. / was just hitting buttons.
+oderic$" Therein lies the problem, no doubt. / thin$ &#ort would probably be the best course.
'ow *bout you5
&itchell" / agree. Try & 'enry.
1'enry types & and hits !nter. Again, a few number fly by and &#ort Retry Fail* reappears.2
4ell, it*s not leaving us much choice, is it5
'enry" &ightn*t Fail be a bit dangerous5 / mean, that would give the whole show away, wouldn*t
it5 /f we say we fail, we might as well just say we don*t have a bloody clue what we*re doing.
+oderic$" The way / see it, there*s two ways of approaching this. /f we approach it as
e0istentialists, we*ll have to accept that we are responsible for our actions and whatever happens
after you hit F we have to deal with. On the other hand, we could believe we are in the fic$le hands
of @ate and that it really doesn*t matter what we do because it has been predetermined that you will
hit :@: and there*s no fighting the inevitable.
&itchell" That sounds more li$e predestination than fate.
+oderic$" 4ell let*s say -redestinational @ate, my point being, we are just living out a se7uence of
events and all we can do is respond to things. / thin$ !0istentialists are more on the offensive and a
-redestinational @atalist would be on the defensive.
'enry" / definitely feel li$e a -redestinational @atalist. / am not responsible for what /*m doing, /*m
only responding to events. / am very much on the defensive.
+oderic$" Then do you feel li$e @ate is telling you to hit F5
'enry" / don*t thin$ @ate has given me any other choice.
+oderic$" 4ell, there*s your answer.
1'enry ta$es a deep breath, seems to mutter a little prayer, and hits F and !nter. A few numbers
flash by on the screen and then the prompt &#ort Retry Fail* appears again.2
&itchell" @orget about @ate. / thin$ this is more li$e Alice in 4onderland.
Scene T4O
Setting" The same day. Ainner. The cafeteria. All five are gathered around their table.
74
+oderic$ 1to 'enry2" 4ho $nows5 &aybe it was all for the best. / mean, you couldn*t do any more
damage if you couldn*t even get into the program.
!linor" ,ut how did you ma$e it loo$ li$e you were wor$ing if you couldn*t get in5
'enry" Oh, it actually turned out to be easy. 3ou see, / could type indefinitely it*s just that every
time / hit !nter / got that &#ort Retry Fail* So / just didn*t hit enter and / just typed gobbly%goo$
all day and when the occasional soldier passed by and as$ed me what / was doing / said / was
e0perimenting with a new anti%virus program.
&itchell 1leaning forward2" ,ut getting bac$ to what you guys were saying, are you sure that every
single sheet of paper represents a person5
#lio" Absolutely. They*re all the same, you see. And once the guy pointed out the ,irth line and
the Aeath line / could see that the other lines were for things li$e ame and Se0 and Address and
things li$e that. There*s a lot of other 7uestions but / have no idea what they could be.
&itchell" 'ow long are the answers5
#lio" They vary from a one word answer to twenty or so words.
&itchell" Are the people writing it themselves5
#lio" Oh no. Then we would have understood it. /t*s all obviously written by the soldiers in their
own language. / doubt if the people even realise why the 7uestions are being as$ed and / strongly
doubt that they have any idea that they)re going to their death. / mean, if they did, they wouldn*t
have the courtesy to reply to these 7uestions. Screw you, would be the obvious answer if they did.
&itchell" /s there anything that distinguishes some sheets from others5
#lio" There is actually. There)s a red stamp at the top of some of them. Just a round symbol. /t
could mean anything. ow that / $now about the birth date /*ve realised the ones with the stamps
are mostly people under forty.
&itchell" / bet they*re the ones who do the manual labour and when they*re done with them, that*s
it...
#lio" -robably. Anyhow, / file about five of those a day. ot too many compared to the hundreds
of other ones.
&itchell 1to !linor2" /s that true for you too5
!linor 1sadly2" -retty much, yes.
75
'enry 1has obviously been thin$ing this whole time2" /f they*re $illing people, why would they as$
them their address5
#lio" 4ell, / don*t $now for sure if it*s their address...
+oderic$" They probably appropriate the property and possessions once the people are dead...
&itchell" ,ut don*t you thin$ they*ve secured this entire area5 / mean, they don*t need addresses,
they)ve probably ta$en over everything already. /f they*re $illing hundreds a day...
+oderic$" 4e don*t $now if those hundreds a day are all from around here. They could be bussing
them in. 4e have no idea what*s going on out there, where the poc$ets of resistance are. =eep in
mind, this may be the only death camp. They*re not easy to build and we $now that this is a
head7uarters of some sort.
&itchell" / would thin$ rural areas would be more resistant seeing as they*d probably have hunting
guns and stuff.
+oderic$" ,ut rural areas are isolated and can be ta$en by surprise. One hunting gun isn*t going to
be able to ta$e out a tan$. /f it were spring, people could always hide out in the woods and hills but
it*s still too cold right now.
!linor 1suddenly2" This is too depressing. Let*s tal$ about something else.
1&itchell, who*s sitting beside her, puts his arm around her shoulders.2
+oderic$" !llie, dear, we can*t stop tal$ing about it just because it*s depressing. At least it*s only
tal$. Some people are actually living a nightmare right now.
!linor" That*s what / mean. Some people are living a nightmare right now and we*re not.
+oderic$" And you*d feel better if you were living a nightmare too5 3ou wouldn*t feel guilty then5
!llie, !llie, you have a lot to learn about survival.
Scene T'+!!
Setting" Several days later. The women*s dorms. #lio and !linor are holding a meeting.
!linor" &aybe sometimes we feel li$e we*re given the answers before we have the 7uestions.
Anyone*s who been given a complete ideology at an early age, whether it be &ar0ism or #hristianity
or whatever, feels li$e e"erything has been e0plained and that there are no more 7uestions because
every 7uestion you as$ has a pre%fabricated answer. Then you find yourself craving unanswerable
76
7uestions, just for a change. /*ve found the one unanswerable 7uestion is :4hy5: 4hy this5 4hy
anything5 !specially here. 'ere we are in this situation and it*s a chance to as$ 7uestions.
And there*s nobody to give us smug little answers. 4e can comfort one another. / thin$ that*s why
we meet together li$e this, to comfort each other with songs and prayers, but / just wanted you to
$now that we $now that we are all struggling with our personal 7uestions as to why we*re here and
what*s going to happen to us all.
obody $nows what happens when you die. !ven #hristians. A lot of #hristians thin$ they
do, but #hrist only gave a few hints, a few parables and then men later on tried to fill it in and paint
a complete picture. 4ell, / suggest we ta$e comfort in the un$nown, because that*s what we*re
facing. / suggest we not be frightened and that we be courageous and the answers will come. /t*s
just that first we have to find the right 7uestions. ow, if you*d all join me in singing, This is ,y
Father-s =orld.
1They sing the hymn. At the end of it, the thin pale girl puts up her hand.2
Thin girl" / li$e what you were saying before the song. / feel so lost now and /*ve never felt li$e this
before. / mean, when / was little, it was easy to get lost, literally. Just wal$ down one wrong street
and that was it, / had no idea where / was. /t was petrifying. ,ut then when / grew up, / couldn*t get
lost if / tried. /*d deliberately ta$e wrong streets but /*d always find my way bac$ home. / just don*t
feel li$e / have that sense of direction anymore. 1She starts to sniffle.2 &aybe it*s because / don*t
even have a home... 1She is on the verge of bawling.2
1#lio sits down on the floor with her and wraps her arms around her.2
#lio" /t*s O=. ,ut you $now, you haven*t lost anything. 3ou no longer have a sense of direction
but the problem with having a sense of direction is that it $ills all chances of having an adventure.
!linor" 1Sensing #lio)s answer might not be a comfort2" Let*s bow our heads and pray for all those
who feel lost right now and that we may instead live with boldness...
Scene @O.+
Setting" Same day. Ainner. The cafeteria. All five are gathered around their table. !linor and #lio
are tal$ing to each other.
!linor" ...,ut /*m worried we*re sounding insincere. / mean, / am sincere, it)s just sometimes it)s
not coming across as sincere, or something li$e thatD
#lio" / $now. / feel li$e a TF preacher. /*m sincere, but /*m afraid / don*t care enough.
!linor" !0actly. That)s it6 / enjoy listening to myself thin$ out loud but / don)t thin$ / care enough
about the people listening.
77
1They sigh.2
+oderic$" / wish to (od we had your problems.
!linor" 4ell, we do pray for you. ,ut it might help if you too$ your own concerns to the Lord.
#lio 1suddenly, to !linor2" 'ey6 3ou $now, maybe that*s it6 &aybe it doesn*t matter how we feel6
Our job is just to bring people to #hrist, so to spea$. .nworthy instruments, as we are. / mean,
we*re inept, but we*re the only people doing anything. &aybe (od doesn*t re7uire perfection as
much as people just doing the job.
!linor 1nodding2" / li$e that6 / mean, we have to thin$ we*re doing (od*s job, not our own wor$.
#lio 1getting more enthusiastic2" The danger for us is that we start to thin$ of it as our own pet
project.
!linor 1agreeing emphatically2" ,ut if we just $eep in mind that it*s (od*s wor$ / thin$ we*ll be O=.
1#lio and !linor are loo$ing at each other, obviously pleased about this brea$through in thought.2
+oderic$ 1sarcastically2" /*m so glad you sorted that out.
Scene @/F!
Setting" Several days later. The hallway between the men*s and women*s dorms. !linor and
&itchell are sitting on the ground tal$ing.
!linor" ...it disturbs me how deep ideas have to be couched in shallow ways. / mean, / want to be
profound in the midst of all this 1she waves her hand2 but too often / spend more time just
contacting people that we*re going to have a meeting and when we do / feel li$e all we do is talk. /
mean, we tal$ about building a new civilisation but we don*t do it.
&itchell 1ta$ing her hand2" ,ut how could you, really5 / mean, by tal$ing you do more than most
people here. 3ou*re holding onto hope and trying to ma$e the best of it. !0cept for you and #lio,
everybody here is miserable and frightened and lonely. The five of us are luc$y. 4e have each
other. ,ut most people don*t have anyone and you*re giving them a group to belong to. And not just
a group, but a group with strong beliefs.
!linor" / guess so. / just feel li$e #lio and / are capable of doing more and that somehow we*re
ta$ing the easy road...
&itchell 1laughs2" 4e*re living in a death camp, !linor. A death camp6 The easy road doesn*t
e0ist6 4e have to sur"i"e this and then when we*ve done that and are bac$ to living our lives, then
78
you can come down hard on yourself and say you*re not doing enough.
!linor 1intensely2" ,ut the opportunities are here, &itchell. /t*s now. 3ou said it, this is a death
camp. &aybe #lio and / are preparing these people for death, to face it calmly, or something.
&aybe when we tal$ about a better civilisation maybe we mean heaven and that people will find a
better place when they die. ,ut that*s not what worries me. 4hat worries me is that 'lio and !
aren*t preparing ourselves for death, that we*re not ready...
&itchell 1vehemently2" Aon*t tal$ li$e that6 4e*re not going to die6 4e*ve made it this far6 4e*re
going to come out on the other side...
!linor 1interrupting2" ,ut to what5 A shattered world5 Our country in the hands of the enemy5
T'/S 1she waves her hand2 e0cept all over5
&itchell" To life, !linor6 4e have to come out to life where we can be normal again6 4here we
can be together...
79
EPISODE TEN
Scene O!
Setting" Several days later. #omputer lab. !verybody is busy. The soldiers are at the bac$
drin$ing coffee, laughing and jo$ing. The head soldier is still gone and they are obviously enjoying
themselves in his absence. The plump man puts up his hand. A soldier eventually notices him.
Soldier" 3es5 3ou5
-lump man" / thought you might li$e to $now that a virus is destroying our !arly 4arning System.
Soldier 1obviously not understanding !nglish and spea$ing in a heavy accent2" 3eah5 4ell, don*t
tell me, tell him. 1'e jer$s his head towards 'enry.2
-lump man 1to 'enry2" 3ou*re screwed, pal.
'enry" !arly 4arning System5 4hat a coincidence6 That*s what /*m wor$ing on right now. And
for your information, / created the virus in order to destroy it. /t is an inade7uate system and we 1he
waves his hand at &itchell and +oderic$2 are improving it.
-lump man 1sarcastically2" So you*re $illing it with a virus5 That*s the best way to go about it. /
mean, it*s not li$e there are any better ways of rehauling a system...
+oderic$ 17uic$ly, before 'enry can continue2" 3our sarcasm ir$s me. The fact that we are able to
apply creativity to a problem seems to trouble you. 4hat we are doing has a two%fold purpose.
One, it tests the !arly 4arning System)s vulnerability to a virus. Two, it deletes the wea$ areas and
allows us to rebuild.
-lump man 1laughing mirthlessly2" 3ou*re so full of it. And when you go down, / ain*t going with
you. /*m registering a complaint every time / detect a problem...
+oderic$" #hec$s and balances, my dear chap6 #hec$s and balances6 / fully approve and am
pleased by your conscientiousness6 1'e rolls his eyes at &itchell and 'enry.2
Scene T4O
Setting" Same day. The cafeteria. Ainner. The five are seated around their table.
'enry" 'e*s right. 4e*re screwed.
+oderic$" o we*re not. 4e)re so luc$y it*s scary. Those soldiers couldn*t care less what happens. /
80
don)t even thin$ they understand what he)s saying. That guy can register complaints all he wants,
they*re not going to remember.
'enry" 4ell, what about when their boss gets bac$5 'e understands !nglish just fine and could
come bac$ any day and...
+oderic$" 'e*s got pneumonia, / heard. /t*ll ta$e a few more wee$s for him to recover.
'enry" And / suppose by then we have to figure out a way to fi0 this !arly 4arning System5
+oderic$" o, by then we have to figure out a way to blame &r. @atty Tattle%tale for the collapse of
the !arly 4arning System.
Scene T'+!!
Setting" The same day. !vening. The hallway between the men*s and women*s dorms. !linor and
&itchell are seated on the floor despite the people passing by. !linor is tal$ing.
!linor" .../ mean, /*d consider it a fair e0change, all of this, for e0ample, in e0change for the
meaning of life...
&itchell" @orty%two.
!linor" =hat*
&itchell" Life, the universe and everything. 3ou $now, The 'itchhi$er*s (uide to the (ala0y. The
answer to everything is forty%two.
1!linor laughs.2
!linor" /t*s as good as anything, / guess. The problem is, we*re here and we*re trying to fit (od into
this. Our little prayer group, / mean. 4e*re trying to bring him down to our level and what we
should really be trying to do is get up to his level. /*m trying to loo$ for meaning in this situation
and $now what this is all about when really / should be trying to $now (od. ot $now his will, or
$now what he wants me to do, just $now him. That would ta$e care of everything.
&itchell" /t*s an impossible 7uest though. / mean, where do you start5 The ,ible5 Somewhat
limited. -ersonal e0perience5 Then you*re bac$ to, li$e you say, bringing him down to your level.
&ystical writings5 The wor$s of Augustine5 Aogmas of the church5 /*m just saying, they*re no
original sources to go to. The ,ible*s better than nothing but it*s just a start.
!linor" o, &itchell. The ,ible is the beginning and the end. /t)s the 4ord and John called Jesus
the 4ord and -aul said the 4ord of (od is in us. The whole process starts with the ,ible. The
81
problem is with me and my finite mind. -aul said we should fi0 our eyes on Jesus, but /)m so easily
distracted. ,ut as impossible as it is for me to grasp an infinite (od with my finite mind, /*d rather
be on an impossible search than a misguided one. /*d rather believe in the possi#ilities of life than
loo$ around and say, this is it. Aon*t you agree5
&itchell" / do. ,ut at this point, as 4orcester said in 'enry /F, For mine own part ! could #e well
content to entertain the lag.end of my life with :uiet hours. Ao you really thin$ this whole thing is a
meaningless e0perience, in the overview5
!linor" @or some people, yes. @or some people, no. The elect have the comfort of $nowing (od
wor$s everything out for them. /*m just saying, / wouldn*t mind if it was a meaningless e0perience
because / don)t care anymore. /*m beginning to thin$ it*s impossible to understand, to really
understand, anything until we die. So / guess now /*m not afraid of death. /n fact, / thin$ /*m rather
loo$ing forward to it.
&itchell 1serious and slightly frantic2" Aon*t tal$ that way6 /t ma$es me thin$ you*ll $ill yourself, or
something.
!linor 1laughs2" / definitely wouldn*t do that. /t would be too ironic to commit suicide in a death
camp. /*m not even depressed, or even close to depressed. That)s what / mean when / say / don)t
care. /*m worried about some of the girls in our group though. They seem so alone. #lio and / tal$
about (od and finding comfort in him but, let*s face it, #lio and / have each other and you guys so
we*re never alone and we never get lonely li$e they do. And we do have (od. /)m li$e a $id at
night. / say my prayers, (od, you alone ma$e me to dwell in peace and safety, Amen. And then /
sleep. / don)t $now that all of those women have that peace.
&itchell" ,ut at least you*re creating a situation where they can ma$e friends.
!linor 1nodding2" True. And in a way that might supersede the prayers and singing. The prayers
and the singing are only beneficial if they bring them closer to (od. &a$ing friends and loving and
being loved could also bring them to (od. / believe that when we pray to (od to ta$e away our
loneliness he doesn)t do it by a celestial shot in the arm of feeling good, he does it by sending us
people to care about.
&itchell 1jo$ingly2" -lus, it*s all giving them a chance to build character here. /sn)t building
character supposed to ensure you a bigger reward in (od)s =ingdom5 3ou should be envious of
them.
!linor 1nodding2" /t*s true. They*ll be better people for this e0perience if they survive. #lio and /,
well, we*ll still just be ourselves.
&itchell" =hen you are old and grey and full of sleep and nodding #y the fire take down the #ook
and slowly read and dream of the soft look your eyes had once and of their shadows deep. +ow
many lo"ed your moments of glad grace and lo"ed your #eauty with lo"e false or true #ut one man
82
lo"ed the pilgrim soul in you and lo"ed the sorrows of your changing face...
1'e leans forward and much to !linor)s surprise, gives her a 7uic$ $iss.2
Scene @O.+
Setting" The same evening. &en*s dorms. +oderic$ and 'enry are plotting.
+oderic$" Obviously we have to discredit him in some way so that when he does ma$e his
complaints he*s seen as a nuisance rather than someone with a legitimate point. ow how do we go
about doing that5
'enry" Lately /*ve just been as$ing myself what would ,ertie 4ooster do in a situation li$e this5
And you $now what5 /t*s been wor$ing.
+oderic$" 4ell that e0plains a lot. O= then, what would ,ertie 4ooster do in a situation li$e this5
'enry" 'e*d as$ Jeeves what to do.
+oderic$" /*m going to ignore you. 3ou are serving no practical purpose at this moment. O=, let)s
focus our minds on &r. @atty Tattle%Tale...what we have to do is...1he is thin$ing
deeply.2...somehow we have to...we should probably start by...hmmmmmm...O=, the thing is...
'enry" 4hy don*t we just $ill him5
1+oderic$ loo$s surprised.2
o, really. 'ow could it possibly matter5 They*re $illing people by the hundreds out there. 4hat*s
one more5 !specially if it saves us6 1'enry leans forward.2 /*m willing to be a pupil of Fon
#lauswitB and violently and ruthlessly wage war to achieve my objectives, even though they*re not
e0actly political...
1'e pauses, visibly getting more e0cited.2 2ut / am completely in%line with his philosophy of an
active defence, although, naturally / shall not be defending rivers and forests and fortresses, but /
shall assume the defensive position, and nonetheless apply the necessary methods. &r. @atty Tattle%
Tale attac$s, and my defence shall be brilliant6 / shall overthrow my enemy6
+oderic$ 1eyes wide2" 'enry6 3ou*ve obviously flipped out6 ,ut / li$e it. Let*s do it6
'enry" / haven*t flipped out. /t*s just survival6 4hen it comes to war the only rule is, it depends on
the situation. 4e are doing what has to be done in this situation. ,ut we have to $eep it a secret. /f
we survive this / don*t want to go on trial for war crimes, or anything.
1+oderic$ roars with laughter.2
83
+oderic$" Of course we*ll $eep it a secret6 4e won*t even tell &itchell. And when we do it, we*ll
forget we ever did it. 4e*ll pretend it never happened. #an you live with that5
'enry" /*m very good at self%delusion.
+oderic$" O=, now our 7uestion is, do we ma$e it loo$ natural or do we ma$e it loo$ li$e an
accident or do ma$e it loo$ li$e murder and try to pin it on the soldiers5
'enry" An accident sounds good. Something uncomplicated. Although really, we have a big
advantage with this being a war in that we could poison him and it*s not li$e they*d waste the time to
do an autopsy. -eople here are hardened to death. They won*t thin$ too much about it.
+oderic$" ,ut we definitely won*t cosh him on the head because they probably would investigate an
outright murder. ,ut / li$e that poison idea though it might be hard to actually give it to him since
we never eat with him.
'enry" 4hat would be perfect would be to push him off the top of building, or something.
+oderic$" .nfortunately, this is only a two%storey building.
'enry" And, of course, there*s the obvious difficulty of luring him to the top of a building.
+oderic$" 'ow *bout something electrical5
'enry" Ao you $now anything about electricity5
+oderic$" o.
'enry" 4ell there*s you answer.
+oderic$" Aon*t get snippy with me6
'enry" 'ey6 /*m the one who*s grown up reading John Aic$son #arr and Agatha #hristie6 /f
anyone*s going to come up with a good idea, it*ll be me6
+oderic$" Oh goodie6 / can hardly wait6 Strychnine in the tea6
'enry 1deep in thought2" 4e have some time to thin$ about it. /t*s going to be perfect. / can just
feel it. This is something / $now / can do.
+oderic$" /f you were anyone else you*d give me the creeps.
84
Scene @/F!
Setting" A couple of days later. The cafeteria. The group is all together. +oderic$ pulls a paper
bag out of one of his poc$ets.
+oderic$" Loo$, but don*t s7ueal6
1They all loo$ as he discreetly opens the top of the bag towards them. They gasp. /t is a mic$ey of
gin.2
#lio" +oddy, my love6 4here did you get it5
+oderic$ 1in a gangster accent2" ever you mind that, doll%face.
1'e returns the paper bag to his poc$et.2
/ suggest we meet later this evening in the utility closet in the hallway for a good old%fashioned
martini party. o olives and no vermouth /*m afraid, but the purists would approve, /*m sure.
!verybody bring their own glass.
#lio" The wonderful thing is it will ta$e absolutely nothing to get us drun$ since we haven*t had a
drin$ in so long.
'enry" / still get caffeine headaches from the lac$ of coffee around here.
!linor" / $now. / read somewhere that if you stop drin$ing coffee you*re supposed to become
naturally alert after awhile, but it hasn*t happened to me.
&itchell" 3ou*re probably supposed to substitute it with ginseng tea, or something.
#lio" / miss &idol. / never $new how much /*d miss it.
!linor 1mischievously2" 4e*ll have to address that topic at our ne0t meeting. Something about
learning to commune with our female self at the time of our menses. #elebrating it as an
affirmation of life amidst death.
#lio" / don*t see how we can get around the fact that in a place li$e this it*s just a bloody mess.
1The guys groan and loo$ away. #lio laughs and changes the topic.2
4ell, /*ve finally lost that ten pounds /*ve been trying to get rid of since / was, li$e, twelve. /f only /
had my little blac$ dress to show it off in.
1She loo$s down with disdain at her current outfit which loo$s li$e a dress made from a terry%cloth
85
bathrobe.2
86
EPISODE ELEVEN
Scene O!
Setting" A couple of nights later. The men*s dorms. 'enry and +oderic$ are conferring.
'enry" ...so after much thought, / thin$ the best way to do it would be to strangle him first and then
hang him to ma$e it loo$ li$e a suicide. The nice thing about that is, it*s virtually impossible
without an out%and%out forensic investigation to detect that a person had been strangled before they
were hung. /*ve given it a lot of thought and the chief difficulty with any other method is the
weapon. /n our situation it*s impossible to get a hold of a $nife or a gun and there*s no way to lure
our victim to the top of a cliff to push him over, so we have to just use our hands and a bed%sheet to
string him up in maybe the bathroom, or some place yet to be established.
+oderic$" ,ut can we really get away with ma$ing it loo$ li$e a suicide5
'enry" Oh absolutely. This is a horrible place. 4ho wouldn*t want to $ill himself5 4e*ll leave a
note just to be safe. / mean, those soldiers are so stupid they might not realise it was a suicide unless
we leave something behind that says, / couldn*t go on...
+oderic$" Or better yet, something really rude and scathing. 3ou $now, screw you, all you bastards
and / hope you lose the war.
'enry 1shrugs2" That would be just as fine. 4e*ll print it out on the computer, of course, because
there*s no way of getting a sample of his handwriting.
+oderic$" So, when5 4hen do you want to do this5
'enry" As soon as we can. @irst chance we get alone with him. Obviously, as soon as we $ill him
we have to string him up because as moronic as these guys are, /*m sure they probably have a doctor
for the soldiers who could establish time of death and might realise he hasn*t been hanging as long
as he*s been dead, or something li$e that.
+oderic$" 4ell, it*d be too hard to hide the body for any period of time.
'enry" /t*ll have to be in the middle of the night just because that seems li$e a logical time to $ill
yourself. -lus, it can*t be a time when we need to have an alibi, just in case they suspect it*s murder.
So if it*s in the middle of the night, we*ll have the same alibi as everyone else. 4e were asleep.
+oderic$ 1snaps his fingers2" / $now6 +ight before we go to bed, /*ll offer him some of the gin that*s
left. /*ll try to get something else to go with it, some mi0er li$e Sprite, so that he*s bound to have to
go to the bathroom sometime in the night.
87
'enry" ,ut why give him the drin$5 4hat e0cuse will you give5
+oderic$ 1shrugs2" A peace offering, of course. 'e*ll ta$e it just because it*s alcohol.
'enry" 4hat if he thin$s it*s a bribe to $eep his mouth shut and refuses to drin$ it5
+oderic$ 1laughs2" 'e won*t thin$ of it that way. 'e*s already opened his mouth up too many times.
'e thin$s he*s damaged us enough.
'enry" / don*t follow that logic at all, but as long as he drin$s it.
+oderic$" 4e*ll have to stuff our beds to ma$e it loo$ li$e we*re in them and then hide in the
bathroom until he comes because the soldiers would probably notice if we followed him into the
bathroom.
'enry" That means we*ll most li$ely have to stay in the bathroom all night because it*ll be hard to
snea$ bac$ into bed.
+oderic$" ,ut it*s essential that we get bac$ to our beds at some point because we can*t be found in
the morning sleeping beside the dead body.
'enry 1musing2" 3ou*re right. 4e*ll snea$ bac$ somehow. &aybe create a diversion, or
something. / dunno...
+oderic$" Of course6 /t*s obvious6 The gin again6
'enry" ,ut there*s barely any left, especially after you give the rest to @atty.
+oderic$" o, / mean, the gin gives me an idea. The soldiers on the night shift usually drin$ beer,
sometimes vod$a. /*ll get a hold of a bottle of vod$a, same place as / got the gin, and mic$ey%finn it
so they*ll be majorly out of it by the time we have to snea$ bac$ to bed.
'enry" 'ow do you get the bottle to the soldiers5 / mean, they can*t $now it*s from you or else
they*ll suspect us when they pass out.
+oderic$" /*ll drop it discreetly by their chairs before we go to bed. !ach guy will thin$ one of the
others brought it.
'enry" /t*s perfect then. Are you sure you can get a hold of what you need5
+oderic$" /*ll owe people for the rest of my life, but yeah, / can do it.
'enry" 4ell, that*s it then. As soon as you get the vod$a and fi0 it up, we do it.
88
Scene T4O
Setting" The same evening. The women*s dorms. #lio and !linor are having a meeting. The
women are singing.
4omen" ...&ngels in #right raiment rolled the stone away kept the folded gra"e clothes where thy
#ody lay. Thine is the glory risen con:uering 3on endless is the "ictory Thou o-er death hast
won...
14hen they are done.2
!linor" That was great6 / thin$ #lio will agree with me when / say that we both really enjoy and
need these meetings. /n a time li$e this, assembling together is the best thing we can do. Although
#lio and / both feel that we are unworthy vessels to be telling people the story of #hrist, it is our
hope that while we are clinging together we may also all be tasting the freedom that is #hrist. /f we
turn to him, we will find comfort. 4e may feel alone, there*s no point in denying it. ,ut being
alone, as awful as it feels, forces us to e0amine life. 4e*ve been put in a situation that really
re7uires us to as$ what life is all about. ,ac$ in the world we came from we could hide our
loneliness with friends and family and our jobs and by just $eeping busy, but here we have been
giving the opportunity to face life head on. 1She pauses for a few seconds, obviously thin$ing.2 /t*s
hard to $now what to say, beyond that. ! thin$ the answer is #hrist and that he provides a peace that
passes understanding. ! thin$ he hears my prayers and / thin$ he hears your prayers. 1Another
pause.2 O=, so let*s sing one more hymn. Aoes everybody remember The 3olid Rock5
1A few nod.2
O=, here we go...
4omen" ,y hope is #uilt on nothing less than %esus- #lood and righteousness...
1After the song, the group brea$s up and #lio and !linor are left alone.2
!linor" / still can*t help wondering whether there*s any point to all of this. / mean, would it ma$e
any difference what we sing5 #ould be get together and sing the wor$s of &adonna and still have
an effective group5
#lio" ?O$ !linor6 Aon*t underestimate the comfort this is providing6 / don*t $now whether these
people have the peace that you and / have, but at the very least we are providing them with a type of
peace. 4e are unworthy vessels, but we are the vessels6 ,esides, (od wor$s with everyone
differently. 'ell, !linor6 /f (od can wor$ with us, he can be wor$ing with anyone6 ,ut for the way
we handle this group thing, / thin$ we*ve got to assume that (od is wor$ing with all of these people
and act li$e he is.
!linor 1nodding2" O= then.
89
#lio" #onfidence, !linor6 The $ey is confidence. ot in ourselves. ,ut in what he)s doing through
us.
Scene T'+!!
Setting" A few days later. The bathroom of the men*s dorm. +oderic$ and 'enry are e0amining it,
obviously planning.
+oderic$" ...O=, that light fi0ture loo$s particularly sturdy...
'enry 1loo$ing up2" ,ut will it hold 9HH pounds5
+oderic$" / don*t see anywhere else we can hang him that would be plausible. / mean, he*ll be dead
anyway. !ven if it comes down they*ll thin$ it held long enough to $ill him.
'enry" ,ut if it comes down right away, we*re screwed. The whole thing collapses, crashes to the
ground, the soldiers rush in, and we*re standing beside a dead body.
+oderic$" o. /t*ll hold.
'enry" 4ell, that*s it then. As Juliet said, 'ome ci"il night thou so#er.suited matron all in #lack.
+oderic$" And as #harmian said in Antony and #leopatra, O e)cellent$ ! lo"e long life #etter than
figs.
1&itchell wal$s in.2
&itchell" Oh there you are6 #*mon6 / heard a rumour that there*s going to be a gastronomical treat
for dinner tonight.
+oderic$" / $now, / heard a rumour they*re pushing north and they captured a modest cachP of
froBen moose. Since the soldiers prefer their meat in sausage form we are the luc$y recipients of
some good #anadian cuisine...
1They e0it.2
Scene @O.+
Setting" The ne0t morning. The cafeteria. The room is filled with women and only a small
contingent of soldiers to watch them. 4hen the men finally arrive they are marched in by the
remaining 7uantity of soldiers but allowed to disperse to their regular tables after getting their food.
90
#lio 1practically standing up as the men join them2" =hat happened*$
+oderic$ 1airily2" Some guy $illed himself.
'enry" /n our bathroom.
#lio" O6
&itchell" 'e hung himself. 1'e glances at +oderic$ and 'enry.2 On the light fi0ture. @ran$ly, /
don*t $now how it held.
!linor" Aid you $now him very well5
+oderic$" 4e wor$ed with him, of course. Just one of the programmers.
&itchell 1glancing at +oderic$ and 'enry again2" Actually, to put it bluntly, we*re rather luc$y he*s
dead. 'e was on to us, so to spea$. +emember that guy that came up to the table awhile ago...
#lio" Oh him$ 3es6 / remember him6 Sort of plump and pale5
+oderic$" That*s the one.
#lio" Something about viruses in the computers. Aid he have a chance to report you5
+oderic$" o, luc$ily for us our supervisor is still sic$.
#lio" Aid he leave a note, or anything5
+oderic$" Oh yes. A moderately funny note, actually. 1There is a touch of modesty in his voice.2 /t
was taped to the bathroom mirror. /t said, ! got sick of looking at all your #a#oon.ass faces. &nd
you soldiers weren-t so good.looking either.
&itchell" /t*s strange how he never really struc$ me as a man with a sense of humour.
#lio" 4ho found the body5
+oderic$" Oh, one of the guys. / don*t $now his name.
'enry" -eter, / thin$ it is. 'e*s the coffee%ma$ing guy.
#lio" ,ut what $ept you guys so long5
+oderic$" Oh there was big hubaloo, of course, when the body was found. The soldiers had to call
91
their superior and their &ajor%(eneral, or whoever he is, had to call their doctor, and their doctor
had to proclaim him dead even though ! could have told you he was dead...
!linor" /t*s funny how they were so concerned about one person when outside they*re $illing them
by the hundreds. / don*t suppose that doctor goes out there and proclaims everyone dead.
&itchell" 4ell, in here they*re still operating it li$e it*s a vestige of civilisation. @unny how it
wor$s, isn*t it5 &urder is permitted out there, but not in here.
+oderic$ 1sharply2" 4ho said anything about murder5 This was a suicide.
&itchell 1giving him a strange loo$2" aturally / wasn*t saying he was murdered6 / was saying
everybody out there is being murdered6
'enry" The doctor said it was suicide.
+oderic$" 4ell, of course it was suicide. o one said it wasn*t.
1+oderic$ returns to his eating. They all continue tal$ing.2
Scene @/F!
Setting" The ne0t day. The computer lab. 'enry is typing furiously but happily.
'enry" ,oy6 This &#ort Retry Fail* deal is the best thing that*s ever happened to me6 ot a care
in the world for me6
&itchell" 3ou*re still getting that5
'enry" Oh, it comes and goes. Li$e yesterday my computer was normal. Today / turn it on and
here it is.
&itchell" / find that disturbing somehow. 4hat about the !arly 4arning System...5
+oderic$" Aon*t worry. /f our supervisor notices a lac$ of !arly 4arning System upon his return
we*ll just say that &r. @atty Tattle%Tale destroyed it and was so remorseful that he did himself in.
obody here*ll say otherwise.
'enry 1cheerfully2" And if they do, we*ll $ill them too.
1&itchell loo$s at him sharply. +oderic$ glares at him.2
+oderic$" Aon*t even jo$e about things li$e that, 'enry6
92
&itchell 1intensely staring at +oderic$2" Jo$e about things li$e what, +oderic$5
+oderic$ 1e7ually as intense2" About death, of course.
'enry 1oblivious2" /t*s really tempting to just sit here and type my memoirs, or something, but /
suppose that would give the whole show away if a soldier noticed. The one downside of this is that
/ have to sit here and type gobbly%goo$ which is psychologically disturbing. / suppose there*s
something about the human spirit that craves to e0press itself.
+oderic$ 1returning to his own computer screen2" &y advice to you is to save your memoirs for
until this is all over.
93
EPISODE TWELVE
Scene O!
Setting" Several days later. The women*s dorm. !linor and #lio are tal$ing. #lio is wearing a
gigantic flannel night%gown as a dress. !linor is in a s$in%tight suede shirt and leather pants.
!linor" ... ,ut what have we learned in life5 ot revealed $nowledge. /f we were to die tomorrow,
what would you say you had learned5 / mean, /*ve learned...1she pauses to thin$2 that a charming
woman li$es people rather than worries about whether people li$e her.
#lio" /*ve learned that if you $now who you are you won*t feel a need to constantly e0plain yourself
to other people.
!linor 1nods, loo$ing pleased2" /*ve learned that it*s better to be nice than to be mean.
#lio" 4hat you do isn*t half as important as who you are.
!linor" /*ve learned that a great woman doesn*t fall apart when she falls in love.
#lio" -oise is graciousness and a sense of humour. 1Loo$ing ruefully down at her outfit2 A good
wardrobe can ma$e up for a lot of shortcomings in life.
!linor" Listen to people.
#lio" Learn about love from your lover, not your friends.
!linor" /*m not loo$ing for a wise woman to follow. / want to #e a wise woman.
#lio" Time is not running out. -erfection doesn*t e0ist. / had to be unwise to realise / wanted to be
wise and / had to be perverse to realise / preferred purity.
!linor" +emember Adam5 That guy we went to school with5 'e lived at home but he was still
well%$nown on campus. !veryone had seen him around the student lounge, smo$ing his Firginia
Slim cigarettes, wearing his ridiculous toreador shirts, and loo$ing achingly pale and beautiful.
#lio" Of course / remember him6 3ou went out with him.
!linor" /*ve been thin$ing a lot about him lately. / suppose he*s dead now. 3ou*re right though. /
did go out with him although at the time it just felt li$e hanging out together. o one thought to
classify him as gay because, for one thing he wasn*t, and for another, / thin$ it was because
everybody, male and female, was in love with him. 'e was courteous and amusing and people were
always going out of their way to tal$ to him. The secret of his charm, /*ve figured out, was that he
94
was ase0ual. Se0, in practise, simply didn*t interest him. / should $now. / mean, everybody $new
he was interested in all the theories of se0 and the sociological implications within its historical
conte0t and he would entertain the frat boys with descriptions of positions from the =ama Sutra. /n
fact, he $new more about se0 than any other man on campus despite rarely having had it. /n much
the same way that a man can be an e0pert on dinosaurs without ever having owned one as a pet.
4hy Adam selected me to be his consort, /*m not really sure, though / suspect it was my
normalcy that gained me that prestigious position. +emember how people were always trying to be
eccentric around Adam5 Trying to outcool one another just to get his attention5 Those guys who
would ta$e up pipe%smo$ing, that girl who would wear a feather boa5 That one freshman even
started carrying a fluffy poodle everywhere in an effort to emulate Adam*s 7uir$iness, not realising
that Adam*s seeming eccentricity wasn*t e0ternal but the result of a genuine enjoyment of life. 'e*s
the only person /*ve met who li$ed people so much that it never occurred to him to wonder whether
or not they li$ed him, thus ma$ing him completely unselfconscious.
Adam was never attracted to anything that wasn*t authentic.
#lio" /s that what you li$e about &itchell5 That he)s authentic5
!linor 1blushing2" / didn)t $now you $newD
1#lio rolls her eyes.2
3es, he)s authentic. ot at all in the way Adam was. ,ut he)s not li$e +oderic$ and 'enry. 'e)s
honest. / trust him. 'e)s not a believer though.
#lio" 'e)s still searching. 4ho $nows, maybe this whole e0perience will ma$e him a believer.
!linor 1nodding2" ,ut it troubles me that he doesn)t understand what sustains me. /f we)re going to
have a relationship, that is. 1She laughs ruefully.2 A relationship6 Listen to me6 A relationship,
here.
#lio 1shrugs2" /t)s an affirmation of life. /t)s what we)re all about.
Scene T4O
Setting" The same day. The men*s dorms. +oderic$, 'enry, and &itchell are tal$ing.
+oderic$" ...definitely a virgin birth.
'enry" ,ut isn*t #hrist supposed to return on a white horse with thunder and lightening and great
tribulation and all that5
+oderic$" 4ell that*s e0actly why / don*t thin$ he will. / mean, the first coming wasn*t what people
e0pected. -eople e0pected a man to deliver them from +oman oppression and instead they got a
95
man dying on a cross.
&itchell" 'ave either of you read the entire ,ible5
+oderic$ 1pompously2" / am familiar with its overall themes and narratives.
'enry" / tried to. / was going to read a chapter or two everyday for, li$e, three years or however
long it too$ me, just to say / had done it. / thin$ / got about as far as Aeuteronomy. Of course, it
was no better with .lysses. / bro$e it down into one hundred page segments and was going to
finish it in a wee$. 4hen my sister Alycia found out, she said / was a -hilistine and that if / was
going to rush through it li$e that / shouldn*t even bother to read it. ,ut / said / wanted to be able to
say /*d read it. She said that / should just say go around saying /*d read it if that*s all great literature
meant to me. 1'e sighs.2
&itchell" / thin$ we*re living great literature right now. 4ar and destruction and all that.
'enry" 4hy does life have to be awful in order to render it great5
&itchell" One thing that*s struc$ me as poignant about all of this is that there*s no more normalcy to
preserve. Out there it*s just chaos which is what we constantly fight against. / mean, in a James
,ond movie, HH? is always fighting to protect the innocent citiBen from another world war.
+oderic$ 1almost sneeringly2" /t*s strange how we struggle to preserve normalcy. -eople go to war,
governments suppress alien spacecraft)s, spies ris$ their lives, all to preserve normalcy. To protect
the humdrum everyday life.
&itchell" 4hat*s so bad about wanting to preserve normalcy and everyday life5
+oderic$" othing. /t*s just funny how we hold it in such high esteem, as if civilisation just
carrying on is our highest achievement as human beings.
&itchell" ,ut it does contain pretty much everything we could want.
'enry 1suddenly2" /*ve had a new idea about life. / believe that (od was a novelist and that earth
was just one of his many creations. So, in essence, we are just one of many stories on a cosmic
boo$shelf simultaneously being played out. Li$e parallel universes.
+oderic$" ,ut there*s too many people. 4ho are the leading characters5
'enry" 4ell, it*s virtually impossible to determine who the leading characters are in (od*s novel.
/t*s probably li$e 4ar and -eace with -ierre and atasha at the front of a bunch of characters. The
rest of us have our tiny roles to play in moving history forward, which is another Tolstoian idea.
+oderic$" 3ou*re craBy.
96
'enry" o /*m not. /t*s a theory that e0plains the meaninglessness of life for some people. After all,
if you*re living in a novel li$e 4ar and -eace and your role is one of apoleon)s foot%soldiers,
although your presence is essential to the plot, it*s only your presence in one particular scene that
matters. !verything leading up to it and everything following is pretty much irrelevant. A bigger
role would be one of the +ostov*s maid. ,ut she too has to live a huge part of her life away from the
significant action. &y theory also e0plains the arbitrariness of life, li$e why the grass is green
and the s$y is blue and not the other way around. /n a novel an author has to create his world as best
suits the plot and in another novel he might create a completely different milieu.
&itchell" So, does that mean you don*t believe in #hristianity5
'enry" ot at all. The ,ible is obviously an important boo$ to the world and if it*s fiction, well so
much the better. / thin$ truth can be discovered through fiction.
&itchell" / agree in the sense that people are often more willing to be honest under the guise of
telling a story about someone else.
'enry" /f / ever get out of here, /*m going to write a novel. /t*s going to start with the dawn of
civilisation, e0cept that women aren*t going to have any biological desires to produce children and
thus, no desire to mate. So while men begin to build cities, woman build a wall to $eep the men out
and continue to live in mud huts foraging for berries and drin$ing a brewed tea beverage. Then /*ll
chronicle history from the two se0es perspectives. /)ll get #lio and !linor to help me.
&itchell" Sounds interesting. /t*s going to feel li$e we*re starting over when we get out of here.
+oderic$" 4omen built cities too, though. !ridu was built around O,HHH ,.#. but AmaBon warrior
priestesses may have founded !phesus and Smyrna a little later on. As a matter of fact, even in the
earliest cities there was a female influence. The Sumerians had their Lady of 'eaven, /nanna, who /
believe was also worshipped in the city of .ra$ as the goddess /nnin who was later e7uated with
/shtar...:
'enry" 4ell that*s what /*ll bring out in my boo$. 4omen*s establishment of religion. After all, in
ancient societies religion affected everything from architecture to art to agriculture. The gods and
goddesses were part of their everyday life.
&itchell" /*ve always thought it was interesting how there was no such thing as self%e0pression.
'enry" @or the men*s societies /*ll loo$ to the more warrior%li$e societies li$e the A$$adians and, of
course, the Assyrians.
&itchell" 3eah, but li$e /)ve said, some scholars feel the Assyrians weren*t as cruel as they made
themselves out to be but encouraged a reputation of ruthlessness in order to more easily subdue their
enemies.
97
+oderic$" That*s these boBos here. 1+oderic$ jer$s his head towards a cluster of soldiers.2 Aid you
$now they play games to $eep themselves amused5
&itchell" Li$e Scrabble5
+oderic$" o, more elaborate. Li$e for e0ample, there*re rumours that that guy who hung himself
was some sort of murder mystery game.
'enry" Really*
+oderic$ 1mimic$ing him2" 3es, really.
&itchell" So, will they do it again5
+oderic$" Ao what5
&itchell" &urder someone5
+oderic$" 4ell, not for awhile. o one*s solved this one yet and bottle of champagne is riding on
it.
Scene T'+!!
Setting" A few days later. The women*s dorms. #lio and !linor are sitting on their respective beds
with mud mas$s on. #lio is wearing layers of giant shirts over a pair of pyjama bottoms that are
three times her siBe.
!linor" This is really good. This is e0actly what / needed. /t*s probably psychological, but having
my pores cleansed seems to cleanse everything inside of me. 1She pic$s up the small container2
'ow did you get this5 This is #hristian Aior, for crying out loud. 4hat on earth did you have to
trade5
#lio 1airily2" &y last bo0 of tampons.
1!linor stares at her in horror.2
4ell, they were going to run out anyway. And in all of this voluminous disgustingly underwashed
material, who is going to notice a few e0tra stains5
!linor 1sighs2" The hygiene situation here has been rather poor.
98
#lio" The hygiene doesn*t concern me as much as the clothing. / really thin$ if / had a better
wardrobe /*d be enjoying this a lot more. 3ou $now how when you wear your favourite sweater and
oldest, most comfortable pair of jeans how you can do just about anything5 /*m so mad we were out
for afternoon tea that day.
!linor" ,ut at least we were together. And at least we*ve survived this far. / don*t thin$ people
hiding in their houses did as well...
Scene @O.+
Setting" The ne0t day. The computer lab.
&itchell" ...it still ma$es me nervous.
+oderic$" Loo$, don*t over%analyse this. /f his computer is acting normal let*s just act casual and
not thin$ about it too much.
'enry" /t obviously just fi0ed itself. /t*s obviously got nothing better to do with its time.
&itchell" /*d feel a lot better if we $new the e0tent of the damage that might have been done in the
last few days.
+oderic$" o, you probably wouldn*t.
'enry 1pleased with himself2" /t*s obvious /*m just a good computer programmer. /*ve probably got
a talent for it.
1&itchell sighs loudly.2
4hen this is all over, / may even get a part%time job wor$ing on these things. They)re not as hard as
/ first thought.
&itchell" Just don*t do anything too weird today, O=5 Aamage%control is what we*ve got to aim for
now.
Scene @/F!
Setting" The same day. @iling room. #lio and !linor are tal$ing 7uietly as they file at the same
cabinet.
#lio" .../t*s obvious he li$es you. o6 Loves you6
99
!linor" / know. That*s not the problem. / mean, / love &itchell too.
#lio" /t*s fantastic really. 'ere we are, in a wretched situation, no ma$e%up, hideous clothes,
impossibly ugly facilities, / mean it*s li$e being in prison, and you*ve found love.
!linor" /t sounds great but the problem is /*ve gone past the point where it ma$es me happy.
#lio" ,ut !linor6 4e*re tal$ing about an unconditional love...6
!linor 1interrupting2" !verybody*s love has conditions.
#lio" ,ut it just ma$es life so much better to be in love6 'ell6 /*d even fall for 'enry or +oderic$
to ma$e things a little more interesting...
!linor 1interrupting and spea$ing emphatically2" The problem is &itchell is treating this whole
place as if it is just an interlude before we go bac$ to our normal lives. ,ut / don*t thin$ we*re ever
going bac$ to our normal lives. 4hen it comes to men and women, right now the only state of mind
/ identify with is the pre%curse state in (enesis where it was obvious that men needed us more than
we needed them. 4here (od created women to be helpers to men.
#lio" Ao you really thin$ that*s the way it was5
!linor" Absolutely. 4hy else would Adam have eaten the apple so un7uestioningly5 ,ut then they
were cursed and men became tillers of the soil all wrapped up in their careers and women become
subservient to men all wrapped up in their relationships. ,ut it*s li$e somehow my brain is living in
that pre%curse state where / honestly don*t need a man...
#lio" 4ell, / don*t thin$ the 9H*s should be wasted on one man anyhow. The 9H*s are for using your
youth and loo$s to get what you want from men. The OH*s are for settling down and having
children...
1A chubby flushed soldier stomps over.2
Soldier" Shut up6 /*m sic$ of listening to you6 The only reason / don*t shoot you both is because the
other soldiers li$e watching you and would get mad at me. / personally thin$ you*re both dogs and
/*m sic$ of you6
1The other soldiers are watching with amusement.2
#lio 1haughtily2" o man is going to destroy my goodwill towards humanity. o man is going to
ma$e me shrivel up and die.
Soldier" One more word and you will be most brutally e0ecuted.
100
1'e stomps off.2
101
EPISODE THIRTEEN
Scene O!
Setting" A few days later. &en*s dorm. 'enry is scribbling notes onto a piece of paper when
&itchell comes in.
&itchell" 4hat*ya doing5
'enry" Outline for my boo$. 4ould you say that an acceptable career for a woman would be a
goddess5
&itchell" 4ell, goddesses are sort of difficult in that they generally live in heavenly places. 'ow
about priestesses5 -riestesses too$ care of the goddesses) temples. That would encompass a lot
since priestesses could also be dancers and poets and musicians and healers and shepherdesses and
prostitutes...Oh, but / guess with no men that would be a limited mar$et. 3ou could also have
prophetesses. Let*s see...what else...warriors6 Aon*t forget warriors. Some priestesses were
warriors, usually with e7uestrian s$ills.
'enry 1writing2" (ood. They*ll be the ones who defend the walls. 4hat about art and stuff5 Any
ideas5
&itchell" 4ell, before OHHH ,.#. only two types of two%dimensional art have been found, painted
pottery and stamp seals. /n .ru$, the centre of Sumerian civilisation, reliefs were used to decorate
cultic vessels and vessels often came in the shapes of whole animals. / don*t $now if this ties in in
any way, but nudity in art was only used to denote heroes and prisoners, the distinction between the
two no doubt would be seen in the siBe of the figures as the hierarchy in a relief would go from the
largest character to the smallest. Auring the Jamdat asr period, stones, such as lapis laBuli, were
often used to obtain colour contrast. &etals, such as copper, silver and gold were all used. / believe
in the &esilim period stone maces were decorated with reliefs...
'enry 1still writing2" 3ou*re showing off, &itchell.
&itchell" / $now.
Scene T4O
Setting" The same day. 4omen*s dorms. #lio and !linor are filing their nails as they tal$.
#lio" ...,ut !linor6 !verything /*ve learned has been a result of being in love6 Li$e remember
when / went out with JosP5 /t was li$e an /ntroduction to South American #ulture. And then how
=evin was a -oliSci major and / was always studying all that stuff about ,ritish /mperialism and
102
third%world democracies. And / mean, go out with any guy and it*s just a Liberal Arts degree in
@ootball Stats and Late KH*s #lassic +oc$ and #ontemporary Action @ilms...
!linor" ,ut that*s not what / learn from love. / learn about myself. / mean, ideally / should be
learning about the other person, but / only seem to learn more about myself.
#lio" 4ell, that seems practical. / mean, here you are and you*re still with yourself. /*m not with
JosP or =evin anymore so maybe all that stuff about ,raBil*s cuisine and .ganda*s government
wasn*t all that useful.
!linor" / thin$ love gives life meaning. / do agree with that. !specially when things are normal.
,ut things just aren*t normal anymore and / feel li$e life has to provide its own meaning.
#lio" ,ut you*re still going out with &itchell5
!linor 1starts to laugh2" /f you can call sitting in the hallway tal$ing going out. Of course / am. / do
lo"e him. And when this is all over, if it*s ever all over, / want to get married and have all his
children and live happily ever after. ,ut / just don*t see how that*s going to happen.
#lio" 3ou thin$ we*re all going to die, don*t you5
!linor" / don*t see how we*ll come out of it alive. There*s nothing special about us. There*s no
reason why all those people out there are dying and we*re alive in here filing their pieces of paper.
/t*s luc$, pure and simple, and to use a clichP, our luc$ is going to run out.
#lio" / would agree with you but for one thing. 4hen this is all over / want to help rebuild
civilisation and / want to ma$e it better. ot to sound li$e a sap, but / want to help ma$e a
civilisation that doesn*t allow for things li$e this to happen.
!linor" /*m confident that humanity will emerge from the muc$ with or without us. ,ut / agree, it
would be nice if it were with us.
Scene T'+!!
Setting" The ne0t day. #omputer lab. The head soldier is sitting on a chair, loo$ing ill, ta$ing open
swigs from a bottle of whis$ey. The other soldiers are $eeping 7uiet, either out of respect or fear.
All of a sudden, 'enry*s computer starts beeping. A message appears on his screen. Program
Failure. Program Failure. Program Failure. The head soldier loo$s irritated but remains seated.
'ead soldier" 4hat the hell is going on over there5
'enry 1struggling to contain his panic2" othing sir6 Just a test of the system6
103
+oderic$ 1hissing2" #ontrol, Alt, Aelete6
1The head soldier is struggling to his feet. #autiously, 'enry hits #ontrol, then Alt, then Aelete.2
All together, you banana head6
1'enry obeys and his screen mercifully goes blan$. The head soldier arrives at 'enry*s computer to
find numbers flashing by on the screen. 'enry smiles bravely at him.2
'enry" Just a test, sir6 /*m particularly concerned with $eeping the !arly 4arning System in pea$
condition.
1'ead soldier grunts and returns to his chair. 'enry loo$s terrified. +oderic$ loo$s furious.
&itchell loo$s concerned.2
Scene @O.+
Setting" The same day. The women*s dorms. !linor and #lio are leading their group through
Onward 'hristian 3oldiers. There are no soldiers present.
4omen" ...marching as to war6 4ith the word of Jesus6...
1A red%headed girl puts up her hand when the song is done.2
#lio" -lease feel free to spea$ out whenever you have something to say6 Spea$ as the Spirit moves
you6
1The red%headed girl loo$s uncomfortable.2
+ed%headed girl" .h, it*s not really about the Spirit. / was just wondering, because, /*m not sure, /
mean, /*m $ind of worried...
#lio 1encouragingly2" .h%huh.
+ed%headed girl" 4ell, it*s #ynthia.
1#lio glances at !linor.2
!linor 1whispering2" That really thin girl.
#lio 1turning bac$ to the red%headed girl2" #ynthia6 +ight6 1Loo$s around.2 She*s not here today.
+ed%headed girl" 4ell that*s just it. She was coming here li$e always and then / saw her tal$ing to
104
the group of soldiers that are normally here and well, / just got a bad feeling about it. / mean, why
aren*t the soldiers here5 They*re always here...
#lio" Oh, that*s nothing to worry about6 The soldiers $now by now that we*re harmless and they
can*t be bothered listening to us and they probably just stopped her to as$ her a 7uestion...
+ed%headed girl" / thin$ they were interrogating her. /t was more li$e they were 1she pauses to
thin$2, well, not casual. /t ma$es me nervous. Anything out of the ordinary here ma$es me nervous.
#lio" 4ould you say they initiated it5
+ed%headed girl" /t*s hard to $now because / didn*t see it from the beginning. / thin$ they must*ve
because why would anybody in their right mind go up to them and start tal$ing5
#lio" 'ow long ago was this and was that the last time you saw her5
+ed%headed girl" /t was just as we came into here. +ight in the hallway. She could still be tal$ing
to them for all / $now.
1#lio and !linor loo$ at each other.2
!linor" /*ll loo$ in the hallway.
1She wal$s down the long aisle bac$ to the door, opens it and loo$s out. She returns.2
o one*s out there anymore. Just a soldier at the end of the hall.
+ed%headed girl" That ma$es me nervous.
!linor" / thin$ we should pray...
Scene @/F!
Setting" The ne0t day. The computer lab. A piercing alarm has just started.
'enry 1shrie$ing to be heard2" /t*s just a false alarm6 othing to be worried about6 /t*s just a test6
Absolutely nothing / can*t handle...6
1umbers are flashing by on his screen. 'enry*s frantically typing but it*s having no effect on his
screen. The situation is obviously out of hand. &itchell and +oderic$ loo$ at each other hopelessly.
The head soldier, despite his illness, jumps to his feet.2
'ead soldier 1jer$ing his head towards 'enry2" (et him out of there.
105
1'is soldiers obey and 'enry is dragged from the room.2
3ou6 1'e is spea$ing to +oderic$.2 @i0 it.
1+oderic$ gets into 'enry*s seat and hits 'ontrol &lt Delete and the screen goes dead. The head
soldier watches this before stomping out of the room.2
+oderic$ 1almost to himself2" /t*s all over.
106
EPISODE FOURTEEN
Scene O!
Setting" Same as last scene. 1Same day. The computer lab. 'enry and the head soldier are gone,
but other soldiers still remain to guard the prisoners.2
+oderic$" &itchell, man, we*ve got to get out of here.
&itchell" / agree. 4e*ve got to get him bac$ somehow.
1+oderic$ just stares at him.2
+oderic$" Oh. 3ou mean 'enry.
&itchell" Of course / mean 'enry6 4ho else would / mean5
+oderic$" / mean we*ve got to get out of here. 3ou and /. 4e have to escape. 'enry*s going to
tal$. 'e*s going to tell him we*re all in it. 4e*re dead, &itchell. /f we don*t get out of here, in li$e
the ne0t >H seconds, those soldiers are going to come bac$ for us.
&itchell" 4hat you*re suggesting is disgustingly selfish. /*m not going to waste my breath telling
you what a rapacious bastard / thin$ you are. 'owever, from a purely pragmatic point of view, how
do you suggest we escape5 4e are still surrounded by soldiers. 4e are in an armed compound.
4e have never attempted to escape before, why start now5
+oderic$" ,ecause now we have no other option. ,efore we could bluff it to stay alive. Aon*t you
get it, &itchell5 4hen 'enry tal$s, we*re dead men. Aon*t you remotely get it5
&itchell" 4hy do you so 7uic$ly assume 'enry*s going to tal$5 4e*re his friends, for crying out
loud...
+oderic$ 1e0ploding2" (row up &itchell6 This is 'enry we*re tal$ing about6 +enry$ 'e panics
when his printer starts beeping6 'e sweats every time a soldier comes near him6 'e goes around
loudly wishing he were dead because the strain is getting to him...6
&itchell 1returning to his screen2" /n any case, / wouldn*t leave without !linor and #lio.
+oderic$ 1glancing over his shoulder at the soldiers who are now watching him2" /*m telling you
buddy, the first chance / get, /*m out of here.
107
Scene T4O
Setting" Same day. Same time. /n the filing room. The alarm, though 7uieter, can be heard. !linor
and #lio are surreptitiously tal$ing as they file.
#lio" ...They*re right, you $now. She isn*t here.
!linor" / hope nothing too awful has happened to her. / wonder if this alarm has anything to do
with it. -oor girl.
#lio 1suddenly2" 4hat was her name again5
!linor" #ynthia. / don*t remember her last name. 4hy5
1#lio wordlessly holds up a piece of paper. She and !linor just stare at each other.2
Oh dear.
1!linor bites her lip to $eep from crying.2
#lio 1as she files the paper2" 4hy do you suppose5 That*s what scares me. /t seems so arbitrary. /
mean, why her and not us, for e0ample5
!linor" /f we $new what she and the soldiers were tal$ing about...
1She is interrupted by the chubby flushed soldier coming up and grabbing both of the arm.2
Soldier" O= you two. 3ou*re coming with me6 /*m sic$ of you tal$ing and finally / get to do
something about it6
#lio 1realising the seriousness, spea$s earnestly2" -lease don*t6 / promise we won*t tal$ ever again6
+eally...6
Soldier" Shut up. / have orders. 3ou*re coming with me...
Scene T'+!!
Setting" Same day, in the evening. The whole camp is outside in the courtyard with soldiers
surrounding the prisoners to $eep them in order. /t is cold but is no longer the heart of winter.
&itchell*s voice" /t was an awful day. +oderic$ and / were huddled together for warmth. 'enry
had seemingly disappeared since being dragged away from his computer and / couldn*t see !linor
108
and #lio in the crowd... And then / saw them...
1@rom the edges of the crowd come three pairs of soldiers, each pair escorting someone.2
&itchell 1slowly2" Oh no. Oh (od no. ot this...
1/t comes into focus who the three people are, 'enry, #lio and !linor. 4ith their escorts they are
marched to the front of the crowd where the head soldier and his entourage are waiting.2
'ead soldier 1yelling to be heard2" Today you are going to see what happens to traitors here6 'ere
we have a man who had the audacity to thin$ he could destroy our !arly 4arning System and ma$e
us vulnerable to our enemies6 1'e slaps 'enry across the face. 'enry loo$s terrified.2 And here we
have two women who thin$ they can incite sedition among their fellow prisoners. 1'e glares at #lio
and !linor.2
&itchell*s voice" That*s the moment /*ll never forget. / loo$ed at !linor and there was no fear in her
eyes. There was a serenity there that /*ve never seen in anyone*s face since. They were all going to
their death as martyrs, / realised. 'enry was the unwilling sacrificial lamb, but !linor was the
willing &essiah. #lio, well you $now #lio, she was game for anything, even death, /)m sure. ,ut at
that moment she loo$ed tic$ed off.
1'enry, #lio, and !linor are shoved up against the wall. The head soldier reaches for his gun and
points it at 'enry.2
'ead soldier" This is what we do to traitors. 1'e pulls the trigger and 'enry crumbles. Then he
aims at #lio and pulls the triggers. She goes down. Then !linor and she goes down. The crowd is
silent. +oderic$ and &itchell are just staring. &itchell is crying silently.2
Scene @O.+
Setting" Just after the e0ecution. The hallway between the dorms. The alarms start going off again.
The head soldier ta$es 7uic$ control.
'ead soldier 1pointing to +oderic$ and &itchell2" (et these men to the computers6 1To some other
soldiers.2 (et the prisoners in their room6 The rest of you, follow me6
1The soldiers disperse to do their jobs. +oderic$ and &itchell are being dragged down the hallway
by two soldiers, but before they can ma$e it around the corner, a grenade e0plodes in front of them.
They are thrown bac$. @rom the smo$e emerges soldiers in a different uniform.2
+oderic$ 1joyfully2" They*re inside6 They*re inside6 #*mon6
14hile the two soldiers begin to fire the guns at the new invaders, +oderic$ grabs &itchell and
drags him into a utility closet. (unfire and bedlam continue outside.2
109
Scene @/F!
Setting" The camp compound, fifty years later. A stage has been set up, and rows and rows of
chairs are filled with people. &itchell, an old man, is in the front row. +oderic$, also old, is at the
podium in the middle of a speech.
+oderic$" ...And so on this fiftieth anniversary commemorating the liberation of this camp, / would
li$e to recall your attention to the great hero of that day, the closest friend / ever had, 'enry
Linnguard, who*s courageous obliteration of the enemies* !arly 4arning System enabled our brave
soldiers to storm and ta$e over this compound that was serving as the enemies) head7uarters.
Ta$ing over this compound turned the tide of war and we were able to at last liberate ourselves from
the tyranny that had fallen on our fair land...
1The camera focuses on &itchell.2
&itchell*s voice" +oderic$ had written his memoirs, of course. /t was a very lucrative enterprise
since he had intimately $nown the three greatest heroes of our day, 'enry, #lio and !linor. 'enry
was a war hero. /n his memoirs +oderic$ never let on that it was purely accidental that 'enry had
destroyed the !arly 4arning System. /n fact, there was a lot left out and a lot of embellishment.
,ut / didn*t really care. / had lost the only thing that meant anything to me and nothing else seemed
to matter. #lio and !linor*s names and wor$s lived on. They were remembered as courageous and
bold in their faith, bringing comfort in a godless place. +oderic$*s memoirs further inflamed these
ideas and / wouldn*t be surprised if someday they are made official saints.
As for me, / got my wish to entertain the lag.end of my life with :uiet hours. / have led a
peaceful life. The war was enough e0citement for me. 1There is a pause and he spea$s slower.2 /f
our liberators had only come an hour earlier, just one hour earlier, / would have had someone to
share my life with. ,ut for one little hour...
1The camera pulls bac$ further and further, turning into an aerial view of the compound and finally
turning into a view of the clouds.2
110