Documente Academic
Documente Profesional
Documente Cultură
shtml
1 of 2 8/3/2009 9:54 AM
Things People Said: Church Bulletin Quotations http://www.rinkworks.com/said/bulletins.shtml
"Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the
deterioration of some older ones."
"Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to
cripple children."
"The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility."
"The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on
Friday afternoon."
"The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for
the pancake breakfast next Sunday."
"Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch."
"Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered."
"Women's S.E.W. (Stitching and Encouraging Women)"
"He came down and saved my soup."
Church Anecdote:
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the
world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the
river."
And then, finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He
sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a pleasant smile, "For our closing song, let us
sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather At the River.'"
2 of 2 8/3/2009 9:54 AM