Writers Name:Magid Samir Peer Reviewers Name:Jenna Mancini Unit 4 Peer Review #1

Whats working well? Introduction and Centra C aim Provides an introduction to the topic of the American prison system. Gives a general history of the situation and specifies the angle the paper will focus on. "ncludes a central claim that clearly indicates the overall topic and the specific position being argued in the paper. !na "sis #t$e %od" o& t$e 'a'er( #)rgani*ation(: #ow is the paper organi$ed? Write paragraph topics in order with paragraph numbers here. Then comment on the logic of that order and if something is missing.

What revisions do you suggest? ust be careful with your statement on slavery! " dont think its necessary to include in this essay.

The author describes the harsh conditions that prisoners face today.

The introduction overall talks about what will be discussed in the paper but there was no central claim.

The intro needs a central claim.

The first si1 body paragraphs are dedicated to %.& 'ental illness describing the mentally ill population in prisons rising in prisons and what type of (.& Prisons and )ails dont treatment they are properly treat mentally ill receiving and why prisons inmates are bad for them. The ne1t *.& ail and prisons only three paragraphs describe worsen the condition of the the treatment of prisoners mentally ill in general and why they +.& What type of people are need social interactions and placed in prisons ,such as outside activities while in the homeless because they prison. The last few body cant afford healthcare& paragraphs discuss the -.&treatment of the ongoing problem in the mentally ill in the %./0s American )ustice system

#+eve o'ment(: 2or each of the three body sections! comment on whether further analysis3development of their ideas is needed. 4id they discuss all the relevant topics in each paragraph? 4id they include e1amples? 55#int6 7ingle out specific paragraph numbers that need more development and also paragraph numbers that do the )ob well ,if this applies&.

8.& 9ffects of solitary confinement on the mentally ill /.&Prisons are becoming more active with inmates pushing them to be involved in activities :.&Why prisoners need interactions ..&9ducational services should be provided to prisoners %0.&"nnocent people are being sent to prisons %%.&4estruction of a wrongfully convicted inmates life

where innocent people are wrongfully convicted. The author included evidence and e1amples from either the readings from class or outside sources. Paragraphs / needs to be more developed and a more in depth analysis of why prisoners need educational activities or social interaction and how this could help them in the future.

What else would you as the reader like to know about this topic that the writer has not yet addressed? ;e as specific as possible. Conc usion 4oes the writer reflect on how the American prison system is in need of reform! of any benefits!

" would like to know more about innocent citi$ens being wrongfully convicted. <ike maybe bring up how 4=A testing is helping prevent this. >es the writer does reflect on why prisons need reform such as taking care of the mentally ill!

#owever! " believe that the issue dealing with wrongfully convicted citi$ens has to deal with the legal system rather than prisons.

and of the larger picture in society of how we view incarceration and punishment? 55"f this section is missing in the essay! please put =3A in both bo1es. )vera Presentation 9vidence is well documented! following '<A format for in?te1t citations. "ncludes Works @ited page include all necessary entries. Paper reads smoothly and logically. Title is specific and informative.

treatment of inmates! and wrongfully convicting innocent citi$ens.

>es evidence is well documented and a works cited page is included.

>es but needs improvement >es