B.- Do the exercises as described ..

EXERCISE 5:
1. If your supervisor tells you your introduction is too long, what are you likely to have too much of, in terms of the parts of introductions given in this tutorial? If your supervisor tells you your introduction is too short, what are you likely to have too little or none of, in terms of the parts of introduction given in this tutorial? In both cases, too long or too short, that might happen in the historical background. For instance you might have plenty of previous research relevant to your topic that you might want to use, or on the other hand, it might be that when you look for previous investigations you will find out that there is none or just very few. Furthermore, another case where you might include too much text in your introduction is when you relate your own experience with the thesis research or what it motivated you to write about the topic and then you write many irrelevant ideas which you could easily avoid or use for somewhere else in your thesis. 2. Many supervisors emphasize that you should give your own opinion, or include your own voice in your thesis. Do you think an introduction is a good place to do this? Why or why not? If you do, where would you give your own opinion/include your own voice? Provide examples. Yes, I think an introduction is a good place to present our own opinion or voice to the reader. I think so, because it is important that our readers are confronted from the beginning with the approach (es) we are adopting in the research. Then, I would give my opinion or my own voice in the thesis statement due to the fact that this must show the emphasis I am putting and the direction in which I will lead the argument. Furthermore, the thesis statement should show my perspective and make reference to the ways I am going to support it. For example, in a text on how accurate the first bible translations are, I would point out my perspective or approach on this issue, whether I approach the subject from a religious or a semantic viewpoint. Here, there is an example taken from a thesis paper on Assessing English Pronunciation. The use of predefined criteria in assessment thus seems a good choice, but warrants the question as to which criteria should be used, as pronunciation teaching covers so many aspects that it seems impossible to tell which ones are mainly used in assessment. In the example above, we can see how the writer introduces her own point of view. 3. In your experience with writing introductions, what issues have arisen for you? Have you been c consciously aware of the way you structured your introductions?

Actually, I do not have much experience writing introductions. I still remember myself writing my bachelors thesis introduction. First of all, I did not know that the thesis introduction chapter is the last one you write (in my bachelors thesis I tried to start writing it first). Now I understand why it was so difficult. By means of this tutorial I have learnt that first I write the body, then, the conclusion and then the introduction. Since this will permit you to analyze the whole work, and discover the best way to introduce your thesis to your readers. Secondly, I did not take into account the structure of an introduction, now when I look back at my bachelors thesis I realize it is very different from the structure we were given in this tutorial. For instance in this tutorial is shown that the introduction chapter with regards the thesis statement is composed of eight parts, what it makes it easier for us to formulate our introduction or at least part of it. Another issue that has arisen is related to the primary and secondary aim. When analyzing some of the theses, I have found out that we do not always need to place the aims of our thesis in a sub chapter. For instance, I had learnt that it was always better and easier for our reader if we placed the aims in a sub chapter so that we conveyed clearly what we aim to prove with the research. Therefore, if I now had to choose where to place the aims of my research I would not place them in a sub chapter.

EXERCISE 6:
1. Why is there often no need to explicitly state your topic? It is important to attract the readers attention to our thesis paper; therefore we do not need to state our topic explicitly because they can discover it over the reading. 2. In what way would you show that your topic is interesting or relevant? I would show that my topic is interesting or relevant by means of a quotation. 3. When discussing a field of research, when would you use the present perfect tense? The present perfect is used when the research continues into the present or in case we think that there are more recent studies in such field. 4. When discussing the conclusion of a study, when would you use the present perfect tense? We would use the present perfect when in first instance we have started the paragraph with a sentence in the present tense, then, this is followed by a sentence in the present perfect tense. For example: The new theory adopted by Russell starts with a model that has been 5. What could you put in your introduction instead of previous research when there is no or little previous research in your topic? When there is no or little previous research in my topic I would use a history of events. 6. In what way would you motivate your own thesis? For instance, I would motivate my thesis by addressing questions that still need to be answered in that field or by writing about a gap in previous research. 7. In which part of the introduction could you include your own personal experience with your topic?

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The beginning of the introduction could be a good place and moment to relate ones personal experience with the topic in case there is. In the focus section of your introduction, you say what your thesis is not going to include. True or False? True. There you can also establish which specific area you are going to work through. Would you prefer a suggestive or neutral thesis statement? Why? I would prefer a neutral thesis statement because I think it calls the readers attention more than a simple declarative sentence or a simple question. I know that a suggestive one can be also effective when commencing with If, however I am more inclined to the neutral thesis statement since this is likely followed by a balanced discussion. Give an example of a primary aim and a secondary aim. Primary Aim: The aim of this research is to get to know the methods used by English as a Second Language Teachers in the Primary Schools in Rotterdam. Secondary Aim: Additionally, I wish to identify which methods are more effective in the learning process. Would you find it difficult to state a value of your thesis? Why? No. First of all I think my thesis will contribute to have a precise knowledge of how the speech system works in order to perceive and produce sounds in the two different languages such as English and Spanish. Why is it a matter of debate whether you should include your principal findings or an outline of your text in your introduction? It is a matter of debate because the principal findings are also stated in the concluding chapters of your thesis.

C.- Find four theses that have a preamble and/or acknowledgements. Describe /compare them.
The four theses that have a preamble or acknowledgements are the following: Thesis N 4 Courtship and Conduct in Jane Austens Pride & Prejudice Thesis N6 How English are the Non-Natives? Thesis N 7 Are we at Sixes and Sevens? Thesis N13 Travels through the Letters of no Commonplace Man The authors of theses 4 and 13 decided to include an acknowledgements page. There, they thanked the ones who supported them during the writing process of the thesis. They both were short, they used less than the half of a page. Theses 6 and 7 contain both pages acknowledgements and preamble. The author of thesis 6 followed the same patron of the acknowledgements page as the authors of 4 and 13, with a variation in the text length. However the author of thesis 7 has used the acknowledgement page to also add information of his first steps elaborating the thesis paper. Regarding the preamble page augmented by authors 6 and 7, I might say that they made use of this optional page because they wanted to give a more general understanding and background of the subject matter to their

readers. For instance, in thesis 6, the preamble page started with a subtitle which takes the reader to a brief background of the investigation subject and to the previous research. In case of thesis 7, the preamble is part of the introductory chapter. Here, the author gives reasons for the elaboration of his thesis paper; he also let the reader know how the thesis has been developed, as well as the connection between him and the investigation. I like the way thesis 4 has been structured, the author only added the acknowledgements page, followed by the introduction chapter where he presents his topic. In my opinion this structure is more direct and goes to the point, to what the reader wants to know. However, as in the tutorial, every author has the right to choose if he wants to make use of one of both of the pages mentioned above.

D. - In detail, analyse the Introduction of the five theses you have selected. Juxtapose them, draw parallels and indicate what the differences are. Comment on the clarity (in detail, with examples) and indicate why certain structure choices were made by the authors. Answer in some detail: analyse thoroughly, using the information given in item a, as well as your own insight and intuitions.
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My analysis of introductions 1, 6, 7, 8 and finally 9. Reply Quote Set Flag Author: R.A. Horna Sanchez Posted Date: Friday, November 5, 2010 3:36:37 PM CET Edited Date: Friday, November 5, 2010 3:36:37 PM CET Total views: 4 (Your views: 3) Dear fellow students, Hereby, I submit my analysis of the second assignment. Greetings D. to be posted in blackboard.docx (62.925 KB)

I will analyse thesis N 1, 6, 7, 8 and 9. N 1 The English of Ethnic Minorities. This introduction chapter was divided in five parts: Overview, Research Variables, Research Questions Purpose and Thesis Outline.

Overview Paragraph 1: In my experience as a teacher, I have noticed that especially pupils who are from a Turkish or Moroccan background often seem to be having trouble when it comes to reading and listening tests. These pupils are good at studying grammar and vocabulary and perform well in tests in which they have to reproduce what they have learned. However, they seem to be having difficulties with producing sentences in English that are grammatically correct and also with reading and understanding English texts. It is a fact that these students often start their Secondary School career with a language deficiency. (Gijsberts & Dagevos, 2009). Analysis: Authors connection with the thesis subject. Comment: She relates how her experience as a teacher led her to do this research. Paragraph 2: In this research, the underlying factors that contribute to this language deficiency will be studied. It could be that these factors influence the acquisition of a third language as well. The written English of students in the fourth year of a school for intermediate general secondary education was analysed, to see if there are any differences in the number of mistakes and the kind of mistakes that are produced by students from a Turkish/Moroccan, Hindu or Dutch background. The results of the analysis were then compared with what was found in the literature regarding the acquisition of second and third languages, as well as theories on the situation of ethnic minorities in The Netherlands and the factors that determine their success in the educational system. Analysis: Focus of the thesis (in gray colour). Furthermore, she explains briefly the content of the thesis. Comment: In the highlighted sentence she presents the areas of the subject she is going to deal with. However, the sentence is cumbersome and awkward. It fits perfectly with a bad example of a focus sentence given in this tutorial. She leads the reader attention to what it seems the thesis statement by stating: It could be that these factors influence the acquisition of a third language.... She does not waste time describing what she is not dealing with. Paragraph 3: It is important to understand what the exact problems are that pupils from ethnic minority groups come across when they learn English because this information might help to enable their teachers to adapt their teaching methods accordingly. This will hopefully result in better problem solving for teachers who have pupils with these specific problems. Analysis: Importance of her topic and secondary aim. Comment: She attempts to show why her research is worthwhile by using words such as the highlighted above. However, she also uses words which indicate probabilities and no certainty,

such as: might help, will hopefully. In my opinion, instead of using words like might, she should be more emphatic and assure that her research will accomplish something important. It also seems that her secondary aim is to identify the problems pupils are confronted with when learning English. However, she does not clarify if she is certainly doing that in the research. Clarity of the 3 paragraph above: In my opinion, she uses the Initial and Final position mistakenly. For example, the last sentence of the first paragraph gives information from a previous text, in other words information that is inferable to the reader. Then, that sentence should not be placed at the end as a final position. I assume that she did not place that sentence at the beginning, as it would correspond, because she started telling her relation with the subject. With regard to paragraph 3, I have noticed that she used the verb to be in her first sentence when she could easily avoid using it and make her sentence clearer to the reader. For instance, she could have written it using only an action verb, and then the sentences would read like this: It is important to know the exact problems that pupils from ethnic minority groups come across .. or It is important to know what problems the pupils from ethnic minority groups face when .... Research Variables Paragraph 1: In order to find out if students from ethnic minorities perform less than Dutch students when writing English, an error analysis was performed on the written English of Dutch students from different ethnic backgrounds. All of the mistakes were categorised as either a transfer mistake, a spelling mistake or a grammatical mistake. These three categories were also divided in several sub-categories. Mistakes that were labelled as transfer mistake were split into 5 separate categories: Dutch transfer mistakes, false friends, semantic mistakes, Dutch sentence constructions and non-existent words and phrases. The first two categories consist of mistakes that are made because of transfer of form, mistakes in the latter categories occur because of transfer of meaning. Ringbom (2001) has made this distinction as well. All spelling mistakes that were found form one separate category. Mistakes in verbs were labelled as tense mistake, while all other grammatical mistakes were put into one category. By analysing the data, information was obtained about the number of mistakes that students from different ethnic minorities make, as well as information about the kind of mistakes they have produced. After having analysed the data, the information that was obtained was used to see if it could be connected to theories on second or third language acquisition or theories on the factors that determine the success of students from ethnic minorities in the educational system. Analysis: Methodology Introduction Comment: It seems that this paragraph should better go to the Methodology chapter. I have seen other theses whose introductions explain briefly the method they are using to prove what they stated previously, but in this case the writer is telling the reader in detail what her methodology is. Then, I insist that this paragraph would fit better the Methodology chapter since it is too explicit.

Clarity: The first sentence is quite tangled and long. It strikes me as an example of frontal overloading. I think this version of the sentence would be easier to read and understand. An error analysis on the written English of Dutch students from different backgrounds was conducted in order to find out if students from ethnic minorities perform less than Dutch students. I omitted the last part of the original sentences when writing English because that is already mentioned when she says analysis on the written English. I have also noticed that she used the verb perform twice in a sentence, which is not bad at all, but I have replaced it for another verb. Research Questions Paragraph 1: This research looks at students of ethnic minorities in the Netherlands and their proficiency in Dutch and English. The overall aim of this research is to gain an understanding of what the underlying factors are that cause the language deficiency that pupils from ethnic minority groups are often experiencing in the Netherlands and to see if these influence learning a third language. In order to find this out, the following questions need to be addressed: When learning English, do students of ethnic minority groups learn this as a second or as a third language? What are the underlying factors that are the cause of the language deficiency that pupils from ethnic minority groups experience? Do children from ethnic minorities produce more errors when producing written English sentences than Dutch students? What are the differences in mistakes that are being made by pupils from a Turkish, Moroccan or Hindu minority when learning English compared to the mistakes that Dutch pupils make?

Analysis: Primary aim Comment: The sentence in gray tells what the primary aim of the research is. I would say that when she says and (in the same gray sentence), it sounds like a kind of second aim but I am not sure of that. Clarity: The sentences within the paragraph are clear. So far in the paragraph, I have not found any problem regarding the initial or final position. Purpose Paragraph 1, 2, 3, 4: The aim of this research is to get an insight in the factors that determine the success of minorities students when acquiring a second language, more specifically, English. This information could be useful for English teachers, and could provide them with ideas for new approaches to their lessons.

Pupils from an ethnic minority background are often bilingual, and this could be a factor that has a substantial influence on their acquisition of the English language. Many of these pupils speak the native language of their parents when they are at home and therefore will only start learning Dutch when they first go to school. Some of these pupils have difficulties with the acquisition of the Dutch language when they are in primary school and often continue to struggle with this when they are in secondary school. This could make it more difficult for these particular pupils to learn other foreign languages when they are in school, especially given the fact that the instruction is given in Dutch. Dutch pupils will learn English as their second language, but for bilingual pupils it is possible that they are not experiencing second language acquisition like their Dutch peers are experiencing, but third language acquisition. According to Cenoz and Jessner (2001), third language acquisition is more complex than second language acquistion because the process of acquiring a second language and the second language itself can influence the acquisition of a third language. If this is the case, then there will also be a difference in transfer from the first language to the target language, as in third language acqusition elements of the second language are also transferred to the third language. The sort of mistakes that pupils make when they are producing sentences in English will be looked at. If mistakes that Dutch pupils make are different from the mistakes that pupils from ethnic minority groups make, then this could lay bare specific areas of learning a foreign language that teachers might not yet necessarily be paying attention to at the moment. Hopefully, this information will help them improve their lessons. To acquire a better understanding of the position of pupils from ethnic minority groups in schools in the Netherlands, the position of ethnic minority groups as a whole will be looked at, with a particular focus on language. As said before, many pupils from ethnic minority groups have a language deficiency when they start primary school, and this might influence their acquisition of the English language. That is why it is useful to find out what the underlying factors are that are the cause of this language deficiency. Furthermore, theories on the success of students from ethnic minorities in the educational system will be studied. Apart from any problems with language deficiencies, these will also help detect any other problems that students from ethnic minorities encounter in the educational system. Analysis: Redundancy of the primary aim, restate the thesis statement and focus. Comment: In the first paragraph of this section, the writer only paraphrased the primary aim, the same that has been already mentioned in the preceding paragraph. In the second paragraph, she restates the thesis statement. At the same time, at the end of the paragraph it seems that she attempts to state another thesis statement. In the third paragraph, she shows again what she is going to be dealing with in her thesis and she also tries to set up another thesis statement almost at the end of the paragraph. The features of the fourth paragraph are almost the same as the ones mentioned in paragraph 3. We see again repetition of the focus of the study and therefore it makes the reading tedious and boring.

Clarity: The sentences seem to be a translation of her original language. There is overloading in most of the paragraph. She tried to explain something using long sentences instead of making them shorter and more understandable. The paragraphs above look like paraphrasing of the former sections. Thesis Outline Paragraph: In chapter 2 of this thesis the theoretical background of second language acquisition and third language acquisition will be discussed, as well as the difference of transfer in second language acquisition and third language acquisition. The position of minority groups in the Netherlands will also be looked at, as well as some theories on the factors that determine the success of ethnic minorities in the educational system in The Netherlands. The methods of the research done among students of a secondary school will be outlined in chapter 3. In chapter 4 the results of the research will be analysed and discussed. Chapter 5 will deal with the conclusions of the research, and recommendations for English teachers will be made. Analysis: Outline of the thesis structure Comment: She explains how the thesis is organized even though the reader is already familiar with it since the thesis organization is already settled in the table of contents. Well, I think this is optional because some readers tend to read the introduction first. Clarity: Based on the information given by the instructor, I would say that the paragraph conveys her objective, a little bit cumbersome though. Overall Comment: I think the author of this thesis decided to divide the introduction chapter in five sections so that the reader would find it easier and clearer the reading. However, she used the same information too much. The introduction shows evidence of lack of previous research. As far as clarity is concerned, there was not used the principles of Initial and Final position wisely and there was overloading in many cases.

N 6 How English Are the Non-Native?

Preamble: Historical Background & Previous Research English Pronunciation Teaching in the Netherlands Paragraph 1, 2, 3 and 4

In the Netherlands, English as a second language (ESL) teaching has up until today almost exclusively focused on British English (BrE), as it has in the rest of Europe. There are various

reasons for this: geographical proximity, active British involvement in ESL practices (Van der Haagen, 1998, p. 2; Graddol, 1997), and historico-political causes, such as the British academic tradition and the Commonwealth (Dalton-Puffer et al., 1997). These reasons have all contributed to the establishment and perpetuation of British English as a model for second language learners. However, the balance is shifting. While British English has been the dominant variety for centuries, American English (AmE) slowly but surely seems to be taking its place if it has not already done so. As much is evident in, for example, a dominant presence of American English in media; Ladegaard & Sachdev (2006) found that in any given week on Danish television, 43% percent of all television programs were American, versus a meager 6% of British ones. Van der Haagen cites similar numbers for Dutch television: for every 35 hours of television, she found, 17 were English, of which 15 were American (43% of the whole). The rise of American English and its supplanting of British English as the dominant variety of English as the unchallenged world lingua franca (Celente, 1997, p. 298; cited in Jenkins, 2003, p. 206) is a development which has been taking place rapidly since, roughly, World War II (1939-1945). Reasons for this shift include increasing globalization (Graddol, 1997), which has diminished the relevance of geographical proximity, and a leading US role in fields such as global politics, science, technology and commerce, all of which have further established the leading role of Americans and, by extension, American English (Celente, 1997, p. 298). It may nonetheless be debated whether the shift from BrE to AmE as the 5 dominant English variety is still taking place or has already happened; while AmE is omnipresent and widely-used already, outsider attitudes toward this variety seem not to have shifted as rapidly, and AmE is still met with antipathy by great numbers of those who do not speak English as their native language. Graddol (1997) is even careful to note that, despite AmEs apparent predominance, an (ambiguous) orientation to British English (cited in Jenkins, 2003, p. 206) is still prevalent in the majority of ESL countries, and that much of the negative reaction to English in the world is directed towards the US (ibid.). At the same time, it is impossible to outrightly dismiss AmEs cultural and social omnipresence and widespread use; Bayard et al. (2001) reinforce this observation, noting that the prestige model of RP is being replaced or at least supplemented by Nam *North American English+ (p. 24). They perceive, for example, an increasing influence of AmE on New Zealand English (NZE) lexicon, idiom and pronunciation, which they chalk up to the inexorable influence of American global hegemony (p. 41). This hegemony, as attested, is multi-faceted and complex, and it is difficult to gauge to what extent and in what way it influences actual language use and attitudes. Ladegaard & Sachdev (2006) seek to translate the various influences into a unified concept: ethnolinguistic vitality. A languages or varietys vitality is defined by matters such as institutional support *and+ its high status (p. 93), in addition to the relative prosperity and size of the region or country the language or variety is spoken in. Following Giles & Coupland (1991), Ladegaard & Sachdev see fit to assume a more or less direct correlation between a languages or varietys ethnolinguistic vitality, and the attractiveness to outgroup members (p. 93). Thus, a languages or varietys vitality assures its own dispersion; the more prevalent the language or variety is, the more readily it will be adopted. At the same time, contradictory forces are at work. While especially popular culture is increasingly being permeated with all things American, including American English

6 language, BrE is still the variety of choice for language teachers in the Netherlands (Van der Haagen, 1998, p. 2). Dutch learners are constantly bombarded with AmE, yet in classrooms the focus lies on BrE. ESL practices seem fairly conservative and resistant to change; furthermore, they are highly susceptible to historico-political motivations, as laid out before, and the status quo; teachers seem little inclined to yield to linguistic trends taking place outside of scholarly contexts. To aid teaching practices, it needs to be investigated to what extent this dual influence affects the variety of English that learners actually speak, and whether the context in which the variety is learned and taught is the only relevant factor, or whether other factors are also at play. Analysis: Historical Background and motivation of the thesis. Comment: In the first paragraph we can see clearly that the author explains what has been found in previous researches and at the same time she uses that information to motivate her thesis by showing a gap in it. The adverb however highlights the gap in previous research. On the other hand, he presents the focus of the thesis. As we can see in the last part of paragraph four, the author conveys the areas she is going to work on but at the same time that sounds like a primary aim. As we know the historical background should be organized chronologically. In the four paragraphs she uses descending chronological order. This can be seen in the yellow highlights. In regard to the use of tenses in the historical background, I must confess I do not understand why she uses the present tense (in red) when she is suppose to use the present perfect tense in that case. Clarity: The paragraphs do not have any problems concerning normalization nor unclear pronounce references. Attitudes Towards BrE and AmE Paragraphs: 1 - 6 Learner attitudes to different languages, dialects and accents have been the subject of many language studies, and native and non-native attitudes towards different varieties of English specifically have received much attention (see e.g. Giles, 1970; Dalton-Puffer et al., 1997; Bayard et al., 2001; Scales et al., 2006; Hakala, 2007; Llurda, 2009). In these studies, most often learners are presented with audio samples of speakers of different languages or language varieties and are asked to rate them according to any number of (subjective) criteria, such as, for example, cleverness, honesty or naturalness. By doing so, one can quickly gauge how learners by and large regard different languages or language varieties, and how each of these scores on different traits as well. The studies that have focused on English have generally shown that both AmE and BrE are highly regarded varieties, receiving high marks on any number of traits, but, usually, different traits. Giles (1970; cited in Van der Haagen, 1998) investigated language attitudes toward different English varieties among British English schoolchildren. A total of 177 schoolchildren rated 13 varieties of English in all, among which RP (for BrE) and GA (for 7AmE), on three 7-point scales: aesthetic, communicative and status (p. 5). On average, RP scored the highest, followed by affected RP and then GA. Less standard varieties scored lower by default. RP scored especially high on aesthetic value; however, it scored lower than

other varieties on other traits. For instance, GA scored highest on communicative value. Thus, while RP was by and large considered to be the most beautiful variety, the schoolchildren considered it less apt for communication. This may raise a question of how communicative value needs be interpreted; whether it is about general intelligibility how easy it is to the ear or aptitude for everyday conversation. However, in either case it suggests that RP is a more elite variety, and by extension a less accessible one. Such conclusions can certainly be indicative of how non-natives may evaluate BrE and AmE. More recently, Bayard et al. (2001) conducted a study in the same vein among subjects from New Zealand, Australia and America, comparing AmE, EE (English English; BrE), New Zealand English (NZE), and Australian English instead (AusE) for both male and female speakers. On six-point semantic scales, the subjects rated recorded texts from eight different speakers on thirteen traits to do with character, five to do with voice quality and four to do with status. They found that Americans rated the AmE speakers highly, as might have been expected; additionally, the American subjects assigned high points the male EE speaker on traits such as competence and solidarity. Notably, the EE speakers trailed in the majority of status and power variables. Australians rated the majority of accents highly, with the exception of NZE; however, different accents were assigned high points on different traits. For instance, the male EE speaker was ranked highly on status, power and competence but scored low on solidarity; both AmE speakers, by contrast, did score high on solidarity. Likewise, the New Zealand subjects rated the EE male highly on competence but low on solidarity; the American voices again received high points on solidarity. These results are largely indicative of stereotypes associated with the British and the Americans and their 8respective accents: the British are considered competent and learned, but BrE may sound affected and fake to non-British ears. Americans, by contrast, are not particularly considered as competent and learned, but do sound much more genuine. Bayard et al. note that individual traits of speakers not to do with accent may have influenced the results; the NZE male, for instance, spoke particularly monotonously. As such, the results must be considered bearing in mind that the likeability of the speakers, rather than their accents, determined the assessments. Investigations into attitudes towards different varieties of English have been conducted among non-native speakers as well, yielding similar results to the NS studies. Van der Haagen (1998) found that several groups of Dutch high school students, from different regions and school types, considered speakers of BrE to have a high social status, and they considered British English as the norm variety. However, Britons were considered to be less dynamic than speakers of AmE, with Britons being regarded as typically stiff upper lip people. Americans are also considered to have a high social status; the key difference, however, is that AmE is not considered to be the norm variety. Additionally, AmE is judged to be a more laid-back variety of English than BrE. Learners responses to the survey question of which variety they would like to speak and why so voice the same sentiments: those who prefer BrE consider it as more polite, friendly, distinguished and educated than AmE. Meanwhile, those who prefer AmE consider it to be cool, tougher, more relaxed and real (which resembles the higher points being awarded to AmE on solidarity in Bayard et al.s (2001) experiment), describing BrE as posh, stupid and rigid. These qualifications mirror the stereotypical views expressed in NS research. Ladegaard & Sachdev (2006) conducted a similar experiment among Danish students, having them rate RP (BrE), Scottish English, Cockney, AusE and SA (AmE) on a number of

traits. They found similar results. Danish students rated both speakers of BrE and AmE highly though on different traits. Overall, the students considered BrE to be the most prestigious of 9 the tested accents: it received the highest ratings on all dimensions relating to status and competence (p. 100). Additionally, it was considered by the subjects to be the most apt model for learning the language. However, BrE received considerably lower ratings on traits to do with integrity and solidarity, and it was found to be little socially attractive. The AmE speaker, by contrast, was generally perceived as having greater personal integrity and social attractiveness than the RP speaker (p. 101). These results, in combination with subjects responses to open-ended questions about their preferred accents, suggest that to many of the subjects, AmE is in fact the more appealing accent. While only 12.5% of the subjects indicated that they preferred British culture over others, 36.5% indicated that they preferred American culture. At the same time, several of the learners explicitly remarked that they aimed for British English in their pronunciation, even if they found Americans more exciting, more appealing and more relaxed (p. 102). As in other investigations, this confirms the traditional and stereotypical view learners have of BrE as the norm variety; moreover, this consideration also motivates them to aim for this variety, even if they find it less appealing personally and socially. This somewhat conservative notion, then, is not only deeply ingrained in teachers but in learners as well. The found non-native attitudes which show no full-fledged preference for a variety and are even paradoxical here and there raise the question of what accent learners actually speak. As may be evident, both BrE and AmE receive as many positive as negative evaluations, which means that the scales are not automatically tipped in either direction. Additionally, many learners seem to be more attracted to Americans in terms of culture, personal integrity and social attractiveness, yet indicate that they aim for BrE still, since they consider it the norm variety. However, even if they prefer BrE as a model for their own English, they are barely confronted with it outside the school confines, as numbers cited earlier indicate. BrE is prevalent within scholarly confines but is, basically, the minority 10 variety outside of educational environments. Even if learners wish to aim for BrE, the omnipresence of AmE as an inevitable influence on L2 pronunciation cannot be readily dismissed, and it is in fact likely to influence their English a great deal. Analysis: motivation of the thesis and thesis statement. Comment: The sentences in gray convey the motivation of the thesis by raising a question. The yellow highlights set out the thesis statement. This thesis statement implies that a discussion is about to follow. Clarity: In my opinion, the writer has used the thematic patterning principle: Continuous Progression in order to organize his paragraphs. For example the second sentence of the first paragraph draws inferences from the theme of the previous sentence. This is good to some extent, because it formulates accumulative picture of the topic in presenting a descriptive or analytical message. Non-Native Language Attitudes and Acquisition Paragraphs: 1 5 As of yet, little research has been conducted into learner attitudes and acquisition of different L2 varieties. Instead, SLA and sociolinguistic research has long focused primarily on ultimate

success in the acquisition of L2, and how ultimate success and motivation are related, though the balance is shifting. Clement & Gardner (2001, cited in Ladegaard & Sachdev, 2007), among others, have suggested that success in second language learning is critically influenced by the students identification with the target language group (p. 93). If a learners ability to identify with the target language group influences the ultimate level of attainment to any extent, it seems far from unreasonable to suggest that it also lies at the basis of other types of intra-learner variability, such as the acquisition of different varieties. How exactly learner motivation influences acquisition, then, can be gathered from the numerous investigations into ultimate attainment. However, to simply suggest that a match or mismatch of a learners identity and the target language groups (perceived) collective identity is or can be a simple predictor of level of attainment would be too blunt a generalization. Ongoing research into (social) identity has established that identity is anything but fixed: Norton (2000) characterizes it as, essentially, unfixed, variable and even paradoxical and, crucially, as a construct. It is then not so much a mismatch between the identities of the learner and of the target language group that would affect learning, but rather an unwillingness to change (that, in turn, may be caused by any number of things), since a mismatch of identity can be solved by a change in identity. Learners, then, seem to be active and selective agents (Watson-Gegeo, 2004, p. 339). If they are willing to, they can adapt to the practices and customs of the target language group, but they can just as well decide not to do so (see, e.g. Duff, 2007). What defines whether or not learners are willing to adjust is, needless to say, a complex yet important matter; why some learners are eager to acquire the L2 (and its culture), whereas others straight-out refute the L2 (and the culture) altogether (see Norton (2000) and Bremer et al. (1996) for two different accounts), is an essential question in SLA research. There are two essential factors in SLA, namely the non-native learner, and the native target community. Each of these variables exerts some influence on the acquisition process. What must then be noted here is that a learners motivation (or lack thereof) is not the only relevant variable; additionally, the motivation of the target community (for instance, to adopt new members) is also highly relevant, in part because it co-defines a learners motivation. As may be obvious from this, SLA is highly dependent on the interplay between learner and target community. A learner may be initially willing to acquire the L2; however, a target community may be indifferent or even hostile to learners (more complexly, the learner may only perceive the target community as such it need not be so). Regardless of the learners motivation, then, the unwillingness of the target community to adopt learners and offer them ample opportunity to participate and, through participation, acquire) may debilitate, halt, or revert the acquisition process. Additionally, the target communitys disinterest or hostility may also exert an influence upon the learners motivation the learner may (or will) feel disinterested him- or herself as a result, and may choose to reject the target community and the L2. Target communities seem rarely if ever genuinely hostile to learners. Nonetheless, some learners do successfully acquire the L2, whereas others still choose to refute it altogether. Toohey & Norton (2001) suggest that learners willingness to invest in the L2 ultimately stems from their anticipation of being able to enhance their conception of themselves and their desire of the future (p.312). In other words, learners seem generally unwilling to invest in the L2 (and are, as a result, unsuccessful) if there is nothing to gain. These gains, of course, are variable, and can (and will) differ per learner. McKay & Wong (1996, cited in Mitchell & Myles, 2004), for instance, found that the Chinese learners of L2

English in their study had a large variety of goals set for themselves: whereas some would only desire to be good students, others were intent on acquiring conversation skills to converse with (English-speaking) peers, and so on. While these types of motivation may seem, in themselves, unsurprising (the notion that learners who learn a language only for the sake of learning it are rarely successful is already widespread), it is Toohey & Nortons interpretation of their workings that is insightful. Learning the L2, they argue, offers the possibility for the learner to reshape his or her identity as desired; firstly, this reinforces the idea that identity is flexible as argued by Norton (2000). Secondly, it also confirms the idea that a mismatch of identity between learner and target community can, simply, be resolved by reconstructing that identity. As attested, the theoretical emphasis so far has been on ultimate acquisition: whether learners are successful at acquiring the L2. However, adaptations for other types of variability within L2 acquisition, such as the acquisition of different varieties, also seem possible. Varieties such as BrE and AmE may, in themselves, not constitute different languages for learners to acquire, but they certainly have their own respective language communities, each with unique customs, culture and *+. As such, the choice learners make for one or another variety may be closely related to their (possibly stereotypical) view of the target varietys community. Indeed, this is exactly what seems to happen: Van der Haagen (1998), in addition to mapping learner pronunciation, also conducted a survey in which learner motivation was assessed. It appeared that acquisition of different varieties on the one hand, and attitudes towards these varieties on the other, were indeed related: those who perceived BrE as a polite 13 and esteemed variety leaned towards BrE in their pronunciation; those who thought higher of AmE leaned towards that variety. Intuitively, this seems obvious, yet the empirical truth of it confirms and validates intuition and hunches and can so guide language teaching practices. For instance, teachers could attempt to improve learner pronunciation not only through drills and formal linguistic descriptions, but also through cultural asides and image building. Marketing a variety as such is exactly what, as Graddol (1997) describes, British governments are doing; yet their canvassing certainly seems to yield results, as the dominant variety, at least in academic and scholarly contexts, still is BrE. Further major influences on accent choice are pragmatics and language aptitude. Pragmatics can be defined as what the learner finds easiest or most convenient; language aptitude as a learners inherent ability to learn a language or an aspect of it, including pronunciation. It is tempting to think that accent preference, and subsequently pronunciation, is motivated by ideology. While this may hold true for perception, production is a different matter altogether. Perception requires no action on behalf of the learner; production, on the other hand, requires a learner to produce. However, if what needs to be produced an L2 sound, for instance proves difficult to attain, ideological convictions may prove not to be very strong. Here, pragmatics will come into play: rather than clinging hard and fast to an unattainable norm, a student will instead opt for a variant that is easier to produce, such as a variant from the L1, or a variant from a different L2 variety that is closer to an L1 sound. However, whether the attainment of an ideal L2 variant will prove difficult is highly dependent on a learners language aptitude, which is unrelated to general aptitude or intelligence (Parry & Stansfield, 1990). If a learners language aptitude is particularly high, learning an L2 will prove relatively easy for them; much easier than for those with low aptitude. As a result, they will be able to pursue the norm they choose fairly successfully, and their success in attaining native-like L2 pronunciation will not be constrained by pragmatics

or other considerations outside of what they consider their ideal or norm. It may thus be expected that learners will behave differently depending on their language aptitude, especially concerning success and inter- and intra-variable variability, i.e. variability between variables (AmE for one, BrE for another) and variability within variables (AmE for one word, BrE for another). Analysis: More background, previous research of the study and more thesis statements. Comment: Once again, the author starts motivating his thesis by writing about gaps in previous research. Lets see for example what the initial sentence of the first paragraph says (in gray). There, she uses the word little to highlight the gap. Later on in the last paragraph, as we can see highlighted in red, the writer sets out two sentences that have the structure of a thesis statement. Clarity: I have noticed that the writer makes use of quite few parentheses when he wants to add something to a sentence. I am sure she wants to make the sentences clearer. However, she makes them a bit confusing. Overall Comment: After reading the whole introduction chapter, I believe that this thesis has more than one thesis statements and lacks of a clear primary and secondary aim. It is true that the reader should be confronted with thesis statement along the reading and that it is nicer if the latter implies rather than state but in this case it was hard to find out if they were thesis statements or simply the focus of the thesis. N 7 The English of Ethnic Minorities. Preamble Analysis: Background information about the subject in question. Comment: First of all, I think this section should have been placed out of the introduction chapter. I believe this a good piece of a preamble page, she only needed to add the part corresponding to acknowledgements. Clarity: While reading, you can see that it has flow. Therefore, the reading is enjoyable. She used simple but clear sentences. She mixed both continuous and linear progression. In the second paragraph, the second sentence exposes an example of continuous progression. It makes inference from the first one by alluding inconsistencies in grading. Then, we can also observe linear progression in the third sentence of the same paragraph mentioned above. That sentence refers to computer based pronunciation, which is the focus in the preceding sentence.

Introduction Paragraphs: 1 -5 If you wish to be confronted explicitly with grading differences, this thesis will do just that as it investigates the issues that underlie the grading of pronunciation. Specific emphasis is put on the evaluation of English pronunciation by Dutch students of English, a procedure which is tested via a listening experiment.

Acquiring a certain accent and level of pronunciation has more importance in the Netherlands than in most other countries, where mutual intelligibility with other nonnative and with native speakers is often the most prominent aim and where native-like pronunciation does not often have high priority. This makes the evaluation of pronunciation a relevant object of study, since teachers beliefs about varieties of English may cause a bias in their grading.
Dutch students of English Language and Culture are set a norm which they are required to approximate in order to pass their pronunciation tests. It is in these tests that problems arise, because the students pronunciation is graded by such a heterogeneous group of people that grades can vary enormously depending on the teacher. For students, this is problematic, because they assume that their grades are based on set criteria1, and that the more their pronunciation resembles that of a native speaker, the higher their grades will be. This controversy is not just common to language studies; in various disciplines grading problems have been a topic of debate. Ganiel & Hofstein (1981), who studied the grading practices of teachers of physics felt that achieving a better consensus amongst teachers when evaluating a particular student was necessary, and that it should be solved that the personal preferences and biases of each teacher play a major role, and [that] different teachers may tend to emphasise different components in their assessment (p. 582). Indeed, in their study, the use of well defined criteria led to a significant decrease in the standard deviation of the grades of the students that were assessed. The use of predefined criteria in assessment thus seems a good choice, but warrants the question as to which criteria should be used, as pronunciation teaching covers so many aspects that it seems impossible to tell which ones are mainly used in assessments. As Jenkins (2004) summarises, pronunciation teaching typically covers any or all of the following: consonant and vowel sounds, changes to these sounds in the stream of connected speech, word stress patterns, rhythm, and intonation (p. 109), but it would be a stretch to assume that to all these features equal attention is paid when pronunciation is evaluated. The current research determines how grading practices differ among faculty and which errors cause lower grades. A hierarchy of the most important pronunciation errors is constructed on the basis of criteria as they are reported by faculty. Via a listening experiment, teachers from various universities across the Netherlands were asked to explain in detail on the basis of which criteria they assigned a certain grade to the pronunciation of a student. Furthermore, they were asked questions in order to clarify their views on pronunciation in general. Analyses of the data reveal certain trends, which make it possible to determine for what reason it is that a student may get a pass when judged by one teacher but a fail when evaluated by another. Analysis: Focus, announcement and explanation of the thesis Comment: The first paragraph presents the angle that the writer is going to adopt in the thesis. She says that she will be evaluating the English pronunciation from a grading perspective. She also makes a quick reference to the instrument she will use in order to accomplish her objective. The second paragraph begins with the explanation of announcement of the topic, followed by the focus of the thesis. Focus of the thesis: evaluation of the pronunciation; in other words, she is going to deal with that subject along the thesis process.

In regard to the third chapter, I can see that she brings out an inadequacy in previous pronunciation test so that she can call the readers attention. The fourth paragraph has to do with previous research in the thesis paper. Finally, the last paragraph directs the attention to the thesis statement, the same that is placed at the beginning. Clarity: From my point of view, she makes good use of subordinate sentences. For example, the last sentence of paragraph 4 shows the subordinate sentence in a final position. Therefore, the use of clear made the paragraph understandable. Research Themes Paragraph: The key theme underlying this thesis is the influence teachers personal ideas and ideals have on their opinion of what good pronunciation of English is for a Dutch student of that language. Educators can focus on teaching their students a language as a means of communication, in which case they pay little attention to factors that do not disturb intelligibility. Others may feel that they should teach their students the English language, which causes these teachers to focus in detail on segmental issues. Yet other teachers may want to convey to their students a means of gaining a new identity, of gaining access to a new group in society. Either, if any, of these possibilities raises the question of which norm these various types of teachers set for their students. Gaining more insight into the norm that is set is therefore the second theme that is of interest. Whereas Smakman (2006) rightfully argues that in language, standard can be defined as meeting the most dominant linguistic norm within a speech community (p. 5), our speech community is not very neatly defined, and thus the norm might become hazy. Analysis: More focus of the thesis. Comment: Here, the author brings out the focus of the study again. She says that the thesis will be dealing with the influence teachers per Once more here, she motivates her thesis by rising a question hat is followed by the other area she will be dealing with during the research. Clarity: So far as it concerns the paragraph clarity, there is no comment. Other Relevant Themes Paragraph: As indicated in the previous paragraph, personal beliefs may influence grading practices, but these in turn could well be influenced by personal factors, such as gender, teaching experience and native language. Gender influence is noticeable in many fields of study, and the educational sciences have successfully proved its importance in many areas of teaching, including assessment. Gender will therefore serve as a sub-theme throughout this thesis. Teaching experience is also a theme that is of importance to this study. Self-confidence may be greatly enhanced by having extensive experience in the teaching profession. This expertise, which inevitably only grows over the years, will influence the way in which teachers grade. Teachers may develop intuitions over the years which their inexperienced colleagues lack.

Speaking a language as your mother tongue will influence your perception of the pronunciation of students of that language, because you know like no one else what it should sound like, and how the students pronunciation influences how they are perceived by native speakers. Additionally, native English speakers who teach in the Netherlands are also aware of what it feels like to learn a new language and how that influences their identity and sense of belonging. On the other hand, non-native speakers of English are more likely to have been taught pronunciation rules than their native English colleagues. This, too, could influence perception and grading. Analysis: Part of the Introduction subtitle Comment: In my opinion, this section could have been easily summarized and placed at the beginning of the chapter. Research Questions: Two main research questions form the basis for this thesis, namely: 1. Is there a correlation between teacher-related variables and pronunciation grading practices? 2. How are the various pronunciation features judged by different groups of teachers? Comment: This is very direct way of stating the research questions.

Purpose of this study Paragraph: Although some have argued that communicating effectively with native speakers is the main objective second language (L2) learners of English should have and that therefore their opinion is most important, their teachers are the ones who judge their pronunciation in the first place, which is why students should know what their norms are. By modifying those elements of pronunciation that are believed to be most important to faculty, students can achieve higher grades, which in turn may increase their self-esteem and dedication to acquiring an even better level of pronunciation. It is therefore one of the main purposes of this study to determine which speech features are deemed most important by faculty. Additionally, an aim of this study is to determine why and how differences between teachers cause a disruption in grading. This will provide the necessary clarity that is needed for teachers to see what they can change if their aim is to send out a coherent message to their students. A description of variation in grading will illustrate to students of English which aspects of the English language are judged most severely and will cause a deduction on the grade if present in the students speech. Education The most important area for which this research may be of interest is education. Because of this, the main purpose of the current study is to clarify the differences that exist between teachers, and which are the cause for the problems that currently exist with regard to the way in which pronunciation is at present evaluated at Dutch universities. Knowing there are problems will not solve them, but creating more awareness will stress the need for change. Giving insight into evaluation methods will help students feel more confident that their grades do not depend on

anything but their level of pronunciation. Teachers, too, will feel more confident if the grades they assign are objective and clear to their students. Analysis: Primary and secondary aim Comment: The primary and secondary aims are founded in the end of the first paragraph. In the second paragraph, there is a late attempt to show the importance of her thesis. Clarity: There is frontal overloading in the two initial sentences of the second paragraph. Overview Paragraph: This thesis consists of two parts; Part One will discuss the context as well as the literature which is needed to contextualise the data, the methodology and a discussion of the results of the pilotstudy that was undertaken as a basis for this thesis. Part Two discusses the data and results, and will give a conclusion, as well as recommendations for further research. In Part One, Chapter 2 introduces the relevant literature. Sections 2.2 and 2.3 will each deal with one of the main themes that underlie the study. In sections 2.4, 2.5 and 2.6 the literature relevant to the sub-themes will be discussed. The design of the test and the way it was administered to the respondents, together with a description of the way the data were analysed, form the topic of Chapter 3. In Chapter 4 an overview of the pilot study will be given. The results will be discussed so as to make clear how it influenced the core experiment with regard to the selection of the speakers and the design of the listening experiment. In Part Two, Chapter 5 will present and discuss how grades differ among teachers. These results will be related to the themes that are important for this study; as such this discussion will contribute to an answer to the research questions. Chapter 6 will discuss how teacher-related variables influence which criteria are used and Chapter 7 will focus on the creation of a hierarchy of most important errors. Finally, in Chapter 8 conclusions will be drawn with regard to the results presented in Chapters 5, 6 and 7. Also, recommendations for future research will be made. Analysis: Thesis structure outline Comment: In this case, the author considered convenient to explain how her thesis is organized. I assumed that she wanted to make it easier for the reader to understand the content of her thesis. Nevertheless, I would have avoided this last section, since the table of contents reaches the same purpose. Clarity: Since the structure of the thesis follows an order, this paragraph is well organized. Overall comment: In general, I think this introduction satisfies its purpose and it is well structured. I would have avoided some information though.

N 8 Whats in a word but what we call an infix? Introduction Paragraph 1:

Infixation is a topic familiar to students of linguistics in terms of usage: they have probably heard phrases such as (1), taken from the television series Sex & the City (first broadcasted in 1998). (1) Carrie: Do you believe in love at first sight? Mr. Big: Absofuckinglutely. Analysis: Explanation of the topic. Comment: Use of example to establish what her topic is going to be about. Clarity: The paragraph is clear and easy to understand the message of the author. Paragraph 2: At the same time, infixation is still unfamiliar; they may not be aware that it is a systematic linguistic process, moreover the term is overshadowed by the well-known and much more frequent processes in English word formation: prefixation and suffixation. Even the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) fails to define infix without referring to these other processes (2).1 (2) A modifying element inserted in the body of a word, instead of being prefixed or suffixed to the stem. Analysis: Justification of her research. Comment: She explains why she came out with the research. Clarity: There is connection between the first paragraph and the second one.

Paragraph 3 and 4: Infixation itself is a rare process (Ultan 1975) not at all immediately associated with English. Indeed, Sapir (1921: 75) goes even further and claims that this very curious type of affixation known as infixing *...+ is utterly unknown in English.2 Nonetheless, the OED lists absobloominglutely (1909) as an actual entry under absolutely: with an expletive infixed *into the word+ for humorous emphasis. This is the first record in the OED of an expletive infix. The date of the second entry is very close: the first record of absoballylutely is dated only five years later in 1914. This proves that the process of (expletive) infixing must be at least over a century old. Taboo might skew older studies of English word formation, but it is seems likely that infixes, or at least their productivity, are a relatively new addition to the English word forming processes. At the moment, their popularity seems to be rising, though mainly in spoken language. A recent example is (1), in which Mr. Big adds emotional intensity to his response. However, unlike what the OED claims, the infix does not merely add humorous emphasis: this suggests that either a new meaning has emerged or the meaning of the infix has changed. Furthermore, Snoop Dogg released a single called Tha Shiznit (an izz-infixed form of Shit) in 1993, and Kidd Chris released his song My Biznitch is the Shiznit (where both bitch and shit appear with izz as an infix).3 This was not their attempt of being humorous, but being tough. Analysis: Historical background of the topic. Comment: She describes what it has been achieved in the field of her study.

Clarity: She has organized this component in ascending order. First she mentions some studies from 1975 and then she continues showing more recent studies. Paragraph 5: However, throughout (English) morphology learning books, the process of infixing is an unpopular topic, although speakers of English, having heard the infixes mentioned above, are able to productively create new words with them. Carstairs-McCarthy (2002) and Pinker (1999) both discuss forms of affixing in English, but fail to mention the process of infixing. Plag (2003: 101) only mentions an approach of infixing in a short paragraph, but also says that *m+orphologists usually agree that English has no infixes. However, Ruszkiewicz (2002: 133, 164) argues that infixation in modern English *...+ makes use of free morphemes and that English has never used bound morphemes as infixes. My own research shows that English does have a process that can be called infixing, and crucially, it does also use bound morphemes. It is a process that has become more productive over the last decades. I will illustrate this by discussing the traditional accounts of infixation, and recent additions popularised by (contemporary) slang and television. Furthermore, my research will provide an historical overview of the origins of the different infixes, as well as discuss their meaning and sociolinguistic background. However, the main goal is to propose a uniform model for the different kinds of infixation in English. Analysis: Motivation of her topic, thesis statement and primary and secondary aim. Comment: I highlighted with gray colour the motivation, with red the thesis statement, green for the primary aim and yellow for the secondary aim. The thesis statement does not imply. She presents the secondary aim before the primary. Clarity: The paragraph clear. Paragraph 6: I will start out with the historical linguistics of the infixes in section 1, followed by a discussion of the meanings in section 2. In section 3, I will focus on the users and productivity of the infixes. Section 4 and 5 will deal with the traditional accounts of infixing, and my proposal for a uniform infixation model respectively. Analysis: Brief outline of the Thesis structure. A late attempt to show the focus of her research topic. Comment: First, she sets out the content of the thesis paper and then she tries to expose the focus of each section in order to call the reader attention. Clarity: No observation in this chapter. Overall comment: I like this introduction. I think it is small and it still fulfils its purpose. The author could have just put in order some information and the introduction was perfect.

N 9 Contact induced vs. externally induced language change.

In this thesis paper, the introduction chapter has been divided into 6 parts:

1. Introduction In the first paragraph, the author shows what she the objective of her research is. She also provides the reader with a background of the topic, a bit of the content of the thesis paper and previous research as well. In the second paragraph, we are confronted with the focus of the thesis. I mean it seems to be that but I am not sure, since it is quite confusing. The third paragraph has to do with the primary and secondary aim. There, she also motivates her thesis my highlighting a gap in a previous research. Analysis: Historical background, primary and secondary aim and motivation of the thesis. Comment: The last paragraph is quite clear to the reader

1.1 Overview In this section, the readers make clear her variables of study. Comment: She begins this section describing the historical background again. The, almost at the end, she explains what it is related to variables. From my view, this section is quite entangled and makes the reading unpleasant. Clarity: First of all, she uses difficult sentence constructions. For example, in the first sentence of the second paragraph, she could have expressed that with a simple sentence. Secondly, there is frontal overloading in the paragraphs.

1.2 The slovenian language situation in a nutshell 1.3 Short historical recap 11 Comment: These two sections are basically historical background and previous research information. I understand that we might find a lot of previous research related to our topic but we need to select information which is appealing to our readers. 1.4 Theoretical background and research questions 13 Once again, more previous investigations. She also sets out what the topic is not going to deal with. If I was here, I would have stated clearly what the thesis is going to deal with instead of making the reading more tedious with information that is not super relevant. This section concludes with the questions that will be answer along the research. 1.5 Hypotheses. Here, we find the secondary aim. 1.6 Research variables

Explanation of the variables that will be used on order to fulfill the purpose of the thesis paper. Overall Comment: This introduction conveys what it will be discussed further in the research. However, all that information is widely spread along all the section analyzed. I know that it is nicer if we give our reader the information little by little in order to make the reading more appealing. However, that is dangerous when the information is not really well organized.

Similarities and differences of the analyzed thesis:

All the theses that have analyzed belong to the linguistics field. Thesis 1, 7 and 8 contain long introductions, while theses 6 and 9 are long. Theses 1, 7 and 9 are similar regarding the structure of the introduction. I think this is because the authors wanted to give a clear overview of what the thesis itself was going to be about. On the other hand, the author of thesis 6 based all the introduction chapter in historical background and previous research. In case of thesis 8, I can say that it has a very short introduction. However, we can find the fundamental components in it. With regard the clarity, I can conclude that the longer the introductions were the more mistakes in frontal overloading were founded.

F. - In the discussion board, comment on one other students introduction analyses of the theses. These are the titles of theses of the other students analyses:
analyses theses 1, 2, 3, 6, 9
Reply Quote Set Flag Author: B. Bergmann Posted Date: Friday, November 5, 2010 3:24:25 PM CET Edited Date: Friday, November 5, 2010 3:24:25 PM CET Total views:

10 (Your views: 4) Hi guys, Better late than never: my analysis. If anyone reads it: have fun! Bloeme

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

The English of Ethnic Minorities (1) Refusal Strategies of Chinese Englishlearners(2) Language Shift of the Qingdao Dialect(3) How English are the non-natives(6) Contact induced vs externally induced language change(9)

Comment on your analysis

Reply Quote Set Flag Author: R.A. Horna Sanchez Posted Date: Friday, November 5, 2010 4:20:57 PM CET Edited Date: Friday, November 5, 2010 4:20:57 PM CET Total views: 2 (Your views: 2)

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I will basically comment on your comparison -conclusion of your analysis of theses 1, 9 and then I will go further with thesis 6. First of all I disagree with you in these two points. 1. Thesis 6 does not have an introduction at all. 2. Thesis 9 has only a few mistakes. While you affirm that 6 dont have an introduction at all, I say that it has. I based my statement on the basic parts of an introduction found in such thesis. For example, in the last paragraph of the section Attitudes Towards BrE and AmE, we find the thesis statement of the topic. At, the beginning I was also a bit confused, but after reading twice I could recognize it. I think we might say that thesis does not count with a well organized nor structured introduction either but I could not affirm that it lacks of an introductory chapter. Furthermore, from your point of view thesis 9 does not have many mistakes. However, I found quite a few mistakes. First of all, the writer uses too much information, information that could be easily summarized and placed in only one section. She does not mention the aims of the research clearly either. I have also found sentences that are ambiguous and difficult to understand. Finally, I agree with you on your analysis of thesis 1. I also think that the author has quite few mistakes on the clarity, but almost all the authors have made the same mistakes. I think it is important to highlight those mistakes that can help us to avoid making the same mistakes when elaborating our thesis paper. However, from the theses I chose to analyse, I could understand this much easier than number 9.

I would like to say that this tutorial has also taught me that I do not need to write difficult sentences in order to convey an idea. The more simple and clearer the sentence is, the nicest the reading is.