Women Who Changed Their Lives

Women who changed their lives
Source: www.islamreligion.com
Aminah Assilmi, Ex-Christian, USA (part 1 of 4)
Description: Ending up in a theatre class filled with heathen Arabs, Aminah is
bent upon saving them from Hell.
By Aminah Assilmi - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 13 Aug 2006
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Category: Articles > Stories of New Muslims > Women
I was completing a degree in Recreation when I met my first Muslims. It was
the first year that we had been able to pre-register by computer. I
pre-registered and went to Oklahoma to take care of some family business. The
business took longer than expected, so I returned to school two weeks into the
semester (too late to drop a course).
I wasn’t worried about catching up my missed work. I was sitting at the top
of my class in my field. Even as a student, I was winning awards in competition
with professionals.
Now you need to understand that while I was attending college and excelling,
ran my own business, and had many close friends, I was extremely shy. My
transcripts actually had me listed as severely reticent. I was very slow to get
to know people and rarely spoke to anyone unless was forced to or already knew
them. The classes I were taking had to do with administration and city
planning, plus programming for children. Children were the only people I ever
felt comfortable with.
Well, back to the story. The computer printout held one enormous surprise
for me. I was registered for a Theatre class...a class were I would be required
to perform in front of real live people. I was horrified! I could not even ask
a question in class, how was I going to get on a stage in front of people? My
husband was his usual very calm and sensible self. He suggested that I talk to
the teacher, explain the problem, and arrange to paint scenery or sew costumes.
The teacher agreed to try and find a way to help me out. So I went to class the
following Tuesday.
When I entered the classroom, I received my second shock. The class was full
of ‘Arabs’ and ‘camel jockeys.’ Well, I had never seen one but I had heard of
them.
There was no way I was going to sit in a room full of dirty heathens! After
all, you could catch some dreadful disease from those people. Everyone knew
they were dirty, not to be trusted either. I shut the door and went home.
(Now, there is one little thing you should know. I had on a pair of leather hot
pants, a halter top, and a glass of wine in my hands...but they were the bad
ones in my mind.)
When I told my husband about the Arabs in the class, and that there was no
way I was going back, he responded in his usual calm way. He reminded that I
was always claiming that God had a reason for everything, and maybe I should
spend some time thinking about it before I made my final decision. He also
reminded me that I had a scholar’s award that was paying my tuition, and if I
wanted to keep it, I would have to maintain my G.P.A.. Three credit hours of
‘F’ would have destroyed my chances.
For the next two days, I prayed for guidance. On Thursday I went back to the
class convinced that God had put me there to save those poor ignorant heathens
from the fires of hell.
I proceeded to explain to them how they would burn in the fires of hell for
all eternity if they did not accept Jesus as their personal savior. They were
very polite, but did not convert. Then, I explained how Jesus loved them and
had died on the cross to save them from their sins. All they had to do was
accept him into their hearts. They were very polite, but still did not
convert. So, I decided to read their own book to show them that Islam was a
false religion and Mohammed was a false God.
One of the students gave me a copy of the Quran and another book about Islam,
and I proceeded with my research. I was sure I would find the evidence I needed
very quickly. Well, I read the Quran and the other book. Then I read another
15 books, Sahih Muslim and returned to the Quran. I was determined I would
convert them! My studies continued for the next one and half years.
During that time, I started having a few problems with my husband. I was
changing, just in little ways but enough to bother him. We used to go to the
bar every Friday and Saturday, or to a party, and I no longer wanted to go. I
was quieter and more distant. He was sure I was having an affair, so he kicked
me out. I moved into an apartment with my children and continued my determined
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efforts to convert the Muslims to Christianity.
Then, one day, there was a knock on my door. I opened the door and saw a man
in a long white night gown with a red and white checkered table cloth on his
head. He was accompanied by three men in pajamas. (It was the first time I had
ever seen their cultural dress.) Well, I was more than a little offended by men
showing up at my door in night clothes. What kind of a woman did they think I
was? Had they no pride or dignity? Imagine my shock when the one wearing the
table cloth said he understood I wanted to be a Muslim! I quickly informed him
I did not want to be a Muslim. I was Christian. However, I did have a few
questions. If he had the time....Aminah Assilmi, Ex-Christian, USA (part 2 of
4)
Description: After discussing Islam with a faithful Muslim, she accepts Islam,
but with her own conditions!
By Aminah Assilmi - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 31 Jul 2006
His name was Abdulaziz Alshaikh, and he made the time. He was very patient
and discussed every question with me. He never made me feel silly or that a
question was stupid. He asked me if I believed there was only one God and I
said yes. Then he asked if I believed Mohammed, may God praise him, was His
Messenger. Again I said yes. He told me that I was already a Muslim!
I argued that I was Christian, I was just trying to understand Islam.
(Inside I was thinking: I couldn’t be a Muslim! I was American and white! What
would my husband say? If I am Muslim, I will have to divorce my husband. My
family would die!)
We continued talking. Later, he explained that attaining knowledge and
understanding of spirituality was a little like climbing a ladder. If you climb
a ladder and try to skip a few rungs, there was danger of falling. The Shahadah
was just the first step on the ladder. Still we had to talk some more.
Later that afternoon, May 21, 1977 at Asr’, I took Shahadah. However, there
were still some things I could not accept, and it was my nature to be completely
truthful, so I added a disclaimer. I said: “I bear witness that there is no god
but God and Mohammed is His Messenger” ‘but, I will never cover my hair and if
my husband takes another wife, I will castrate him.’
I heard gasps from the other men in the room, but Abdulaziz silenced them.
Later I learned that he told the brothers never to discuss those two subjects
with me. He was sure I would come to the correct understanding.
The Shahadah was indeed a solid footing on the ladder to spiritual knowledge
and closeness to God. But it has been a slow climb. Abdulaziz continued to
visit me and answer my questions. May God reward him for his patience and
tolerance. He never admonished me or acted like a question was stupid or
silly. He treated each question with dignity and told me that the only stupid
question was the one never asked. Hmmm... my grandmother used to say that.
He explained that God had told us to seek knowledge, and questions were one
of the ways to accomplish that. When he explained something, it was like
watching a rose open - petal by petal, until it reached its full glory. When I
told him that I did not agree with something and why, he always said I was
correct up to a point. The he would show me how to look deeper and from
different directions to reach a fuller understanding. Alhamdulillah [To God is
all praise]!
Over the years, I had many teachers. Each one special, each one different.
I am thankful for each one of them and the knowledge they gave. Each teacher
helped me to grow and to love Islam more. As my knowledge increased, the
changes in me became more apparent. Within the first year, I was wearing
hijab. I have no idea when I started. It came naturally, with increased
knowledge and understanding. In time, I even came to be a proponent of
polygamy. I knew that if God had allowed it, there had to be something good in
it.
“Glorify the name of thy Guardian - Lord Most High, Who hath created, and
further, given order and proportion; Who hath measured, and granted guidance;
and Who bringeth out the (green and lush) pasture, and doth make it (but)
swarthy stubble, We shall make you to recite (the Quran), so do not forget,
except as God wills: for He knoweth what is manifest and what is hidden. And We
will make it easy for thee (to follow) the simple (path).” (Quran 87:1-8)
When I first started to study Islam, I did not expect to find anything that I
needed or wanted in my personal life. Little did I know that Islam would change
my life. No human could have ever convinced me that I would finally be at peace
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and overflowing with love and joy because of Islam.
This book spoke of THE ONE GOD, THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. It described
the beautiful way in which He had organized the world. This wondrous Quran had
all the answers. God is The Loving! God is the Source of Peace! God is the
Protector! God is the Forgiver! God is the Provider! God is the Maintainer!
God is the Generous One! God is the Responsive! God is the Protecting Friend!
God is the Expander!
“Have we not expanded thee thy breast? And removed from thee thy burden the
which did gall thy back? And raised high the esteem (in which) thou (art held)?
So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every
difficulty there is relief!” (Quran 94:1-6)
The Quran addressed all the issues of existence and showed a clear path to
success. It was like a map forgiving, an owner manual for life!Aminah Assilmi,
Ex-Christian, USA (part 3 of 4)
Description: Ameenah discusses the various trials she faced after accepting
Islam, from having her children taken away from her to losing all friends and
family.
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How Islam changed my Life
“How much more we love the light...If once we lived in Darkness.”
When I first embraced Islam, I really did not think it was going to affect my
life very much. Islam did not just affect my life. It totally changed it.
Family life: My husband and I loved each other very deeply. That love for
each other still exists. Still, when I started studying Islam, we started
having some difficulties. He saw me changing and did not understand what was
happening. Neither did I. But then, I did not even realize I was changing. He
decided that the only thing that could make me change was another man. There
was no way to make him understand what was changing me because I did not know.
After I realized that I was a Muslim, it did not help matters. After
all...the only reason a woman changes something as fundamental as her religion
is another man. He could not find evidence of this other man...but he had to
exist. We ended up in a very ugly divorce. The courts determined that the
unorthodox religion would be detrimental to the development of my children. So
they were removed from my custody.
During the divorce, there was a time when I was told I could make a choice.
I could renounce this religion and leave with my children, or renounce my
children and leave with my religion. I was in shock. To me this was not a
possible choice. If I renounce my Islam....I would be teaching my children how
to be deceptive, for there was no way to deny what was in my heart. I could not
deny God, not then, not ever. I prayed like I had never prayed before. After
the thirty minutes was up, I knew that there was no safer place for my children
to be than in the hands of God. If I denied him, there would be no way in the
future to show my children the wonders of being with God. The courts were told
that I would leave my children in the hands of God. This was not a rejection of
my children!
I left the courts knowing that life without my babies would be very
difficult. My heart bled, even though I knew, inside, I had done the right
thing. I found solace in Ayat-ul-Kursi.
“God! There is no god but He - the Living, the Self-subsisting, Supporter of
all. No slumber can seize him nor sleep. His are all things in the heavens and
on earth. Who is there can intercede in His presence except as He permitteth?
He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures as) Before or After or Behind
them. Nor shall they compass aught of His knowledge except as He willeth. His
Throne doth extend over the heavens and the earth, and he feeleth no fatigue in
guarding and preserving them for He is Most High, The Supreme (in Glory).”
(Quran 2:255)
This also got me started looking at all the attributes of God and discovering
the beauty of each one.
Child custody and divorce were not the only problems I was to face. The rest
of my family was not very accepting of my choice either. Most of the family
refused to have anything to do with me. My mother was of the belief that it was
just a phase and I would grow out of it. My sister, the ‘mental health expert’
was sure I had simply lost my mind and should be institutionalized. My father
believed I should be killed before I placed myself deeper in Hell. Suddenly I
found myself with no husband and no family. What would be next?
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Friends: Most of my friends drifted away during that first year. I was no
fun anymore. I did not want to go to parties or bars. I was not interested in
finding a boyfriend. All I ever did was read that ‘stupid’ book (the Quran) and
talk about Islam. What a bore. I still did not have enough knowledge to help
them understand why Islam was so beautiful.
Employment: My job was next to go. While I had won just about every award
there was in my field and was recognized as a serious trend setter and money
maker, the day I put on hijab, was the end of my job. Now I was without a
family, without friends and without a job.Aminah Assilmi, Ex-Christian, USA
(part 4 of 4)
Description: “True, God has tested me, as was promised, and rewarded me far
beyond what I could ever have hoped for.”
In all this, the first light was my grandmother. She approved of my choice
and joined me. What a surprise! I always knew she had alot of wisdom, but
this! She died soon after that. When I stop to think about it, I almost get
jealous. The day she pronounced Shahadah, all her misdeeds had been erased,
while her good deeds were preserved. She died so soon after accepting Islam
that I knew her ‘BOOK’ was bound to be heavy on the good side. It fills me with
such joy!
As my knowledge grew and I was better able to answer questions, many things
changed. But, it was the changes made in me as a person that had the greatest
impact. A few years after I went public with my Islam, my mother called me and
said she did not know what this ‘Islam thing’ was, but she hoped I would stay
with it. She liked what it was doing for me. A couple of years after that she
called again and asked what a person had to do to be a Muslim. I told her that
all person had to do was know that there was only ONE God and Mohammed was His
Messenger. Her response was: “Any fool knows that. But what do you have to
do?” I repeated the same information and she said: “Well...OK. But let’s not
tell your father just yet.”
Little did she know that he had gone through the same conversation a few
weeks before that. My real father (the one who thought I should be killed) had
done it almost two months earlier. Then, my sister, the mental health person,
she told me that I was the most ‘liberated’ person she knew. Coming from her
that was the greatest compliment I could have received.
Rather than try to tell you about how each person came to accept Islam, let
me simply say that more members of my family continue to find Islam every year.
I was especially happy when a dear friend, Brother Qaiser Imam, told me that my
ex-husband took Shahdah. When Brother Qaiser asked him why, he said it was
because he had been watching me for 16 years and he wanted his daughter to have
what I had. He came and asked me to forgive him for all he had done. I had
forgiven him long before that.
Now my oldest son, Whitney, has called, as I am writing this book, and
announced that he also wants to become Muslim. He plans on taking the Shahadah
as the ISNA Convention in a couple of weeks. For now, he is learning as much as
he can. God is The Most Merciful.
Over the years, I have come to be known for my talks on Islam, and many
listeners have chosen to be Muslim. My inner peace has continued to increase
with my knowledge and confidence in the Wisdom of God. I know that God is not
only my Creator but, my dearest friend. I know that God will always be there
and will never reject me. For every step I take toward God, He takes 10 toward
me. What a wonderful knowledge.
True, God has tested me, as was promised, and rewarded me far beyond what I
could ever have hoped for. A few years ago, the doctors told me I had cancer
and it was terminal. They explained that there was no cure, it was too far
advanced, and proceeded to help prepare me for my death by explaining how the
disease would progress. I had maybe one year left to live. I was concerned
about my children, especially my youngest. Who would take care of him? Still I
was not depressed. We must all die. I was confident that the pain I was
experiencing contained Blessings.
I remembered a good friend, Kareem Al-Misawi, who died of cancer when he was
still in his 20’s. Shortly before he died, he told me that God was truly
Merciful. This man was in unbelievable anguish and radiating with God’s love.
He said: “God intends that I should enter heaven with a clean book.” His death
experience gave me something to think about. He taught me of God’s love and
Page 4
mercy. This was something no one else had ever really discussed. God’s love!
I did not take me long to start being aware of His blessings. Friends who
loved me came out of nowhere. I was given the gift of making Hag. Even more
importantly, I learned how very important it was for me to share the Truth of
Islam with everyone. It did not matter if people, Muslim or not, agreed with me
or even liked me. The only approval I needed was from God. The only love I
needed was from God. Yet, I discovered more and more people, who for no
apparent reason, loved me. I rejoiced, for I remembered reading that if God
loves you, He causes others to love you. I am not worthy of all the love. That
means it must be another gift from God. God is the Greatest!
There is no way to fully explain how my life changed. Alhamdulillah (All
praise is due to God)! I am so very glad that I am a Muslim. Islam is my
life. Islam is the beat of my heart. Islam is the blood that courses through
my veins. Islam is my strength. Islam is my life so wonderful and beautiful.
Without Islam, I am nothing, and should God ever turn His magnificent face from
me, I could not survive.
“O God! let my heart have light, and my sight have light, and my hearing
(senses) have light, and let me have light on my right, and let me have light on
my left, and let me have light above me, and have light under me, and have light
in front of me, and have light behind me; and let me have light.” (Saheeh
Al-Bukhari)
“Oh my Lord! Forgive my sins and my ignorance and my exceeding the limits
(boundaries of righteousness) in all my deeds and what you know better than I.
O God! Forgive my mistakes, those done intentionally or out of my ignorance or
(without) or with seriousness, and I confess that all such mistakes are done by
me. Oh God! Forgive my sins of the past and of the future which I did openly
or secretly. You are the One who makes the things go before, and You are the
One who delays them, and You are the Omnipotent.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)
Cindy Dry, Ex-Christian, USA (part 1 of 3): Life as a Christian
Description: After moving through various denominations of Christianity, Sister
Cindy (now Sanadee) describes how she found Islam after crying out to God for
guidance in her moment of despair. Part One: Life as a Christian.
By Cindy Dry - Published on 21 May 2007 - Last modified on 27 May 2007
I had never heard of Islam before 1998, except once when I heard a news
report announcing that pop singer, Cat Stevens, became Muslim and changed his
name to Yusuf Islam. I still didn’t know what this strange religious cult was
that he had joined, but I knew I would miss his beautiful singing.
In December 1998, I was surfing the internet, not for anything specific, just
surfing, when someone popped up on my instant messenger box.
He said he was Muslim and asked me if I knew anything about Islam, wherein I
replied, “Oh, yeah, they worship cows!” He abruptly replied, “No, we don’t
worship cows.” He said, “We worship the one GOD and in the Arabic language,
that means ALLAH.” He continued teaching me a little more about Islam,
mentioned that it was Ramadan and he was fasting. I told him how I used to
fast, drinking only juices and water all day, until the next day, sometimes for
several days in a row. I told him I don’t go to church anymore.
I was raised in a home where religion was not practiced per se. My parents
couldn’t decide between being Protestant or Catholic, so they would kick all us
kids out of the house every Sunday morning, instructing us to go to the nearby
church. Thomas Avenue Baptist Church was only a couple blocks away. I was a
good and obedient child, so I had to go to church, while my brothers and sisters
went about in the neighborhood doing only GOD knows what.
I remember hearing the Preacher speak of Jesus. He said this great man Jesus
died for my sins so that I might live. Wow, what a good person, I thought. I
listened attentively. The Preacher also said we were all going to “hell in a
hand basket” if we didn’t accept Jesus into our hearts, believe that he was the
Son of God, and that he died for us, then on the third day was raised from the
dead. The Preacher instructed us to get saved by walking down the aisle towards
him to accept Jesus today or go to hell. I was terrified. I, of course, ran up
that aisle, and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
The next step was to get baptized. That night, I went to late church to
receive my baptism and my certificate of proof. I was dunked, head and all,
into a pool of water above the choir at the front of the church, behind where
the Preacher had taught me that I was born a sinner, and I needed to be washed
in the blood of Jesus. Now I was to be a new and sinless creature, for the sins
Page 5
of the world had been laid upon the shoulders of the Son of God, Jesus.
I remember as a young girl of 12 years old, looking up into the heavens and
praising God for everything I saw. The world was so beautiful to me; the leaves
on the trees were so much greener now, and the sky so much bluer.
Everything seemed so much sweeter and safer.
Years went by. I had been a good kid, and grew up into a decent adult, but I
would sin from time to time and feel the need to go back to church, repent in
front of the entire congregation, which was a necessity in order to have your
sins forgiven, and get saved and baptized all over again.
I kept wondering why it wasn’t taking for me. I still kept sinning. I did
my best, but I was a failure. I must have been re-saved and re-baptized at
least a half dozen times. I must have been doing something wrong, because I
kept sinning and would have to go up that aisle regularly for years to get
re-saved.
When I was well into my adulthood, I began experimenting with different
denominations, in the hopes that I could find whatever it was that was missing
in my life. I was so in need of GOD, but I felt like I just wasn’t doing a good
enough job being a Christian.
I went to a non-denominational church where they teach speaking in tongues,
an evidence of receiving the Holy Spirit. That’s it! I thought. I didn’t have
the Holy Spirit, because I never spoke in tongues. I began ‘training’ for that.
I heard people in the church speak in unknown languages, and then someone
else would interpret it for the rest of the congregation. This was supposed to
be “gifts of the Holy Spirit.” There were also people with gifts of healing and
others with the gift of discerning and casting out evil spirits, while others
had the gift of prophecy. My gifts were apparently discernment of evil spirits
and prophecy, as I was told.
I always have had spiritual dreams. Sometimes I dream of hearing angels
singing and praising God. Other times I dream that the end of time is coming
and I am trying to warn people to be ready, but they don’t listen. Even today,
I pay close attention to my dreams, because they usually reveal something to me
that is useful in my awaken life. I have always felt that I need God in my life
and have spent my entire life trying to find out how to get to Him without a
middle man.
The more time I spent at churches, the more questions I had and the more
confused I would become. I would pray to God to give me understanding.
No one at the churches could answer my questions, and would throw it back on
me by saying, “Well, you just have to have faith.” That is the blind faith
Christians are compelled to follow without reason. I became confused about some
of the doctrine being taught in the Churches.
The Trinity was a big stumper to me. Who do I pray to? Do I pray to God,
Jesus or the Holy Spirit? From reading the Bible, I would read stories that led
me to think God was sort of mean and had a temper; Jesus was the nice one that
we could talk to and who would sympathize with us; and the Holy Spirit just kind
of hung around giving people power. I was thoroughly confused about the
Trinity.
I began seeing things in church that I couldn’t deal with. I saw things that
seemed to me were not from God. People were falling out in the floor because
they ‘got the Holy Ghost’. They would start laughing hysterically for no
reason; they said it was the Holy Spirit taking over their bodies and giving
them the feeling of being drunk, as spoken of by Paul in the Book of Acts in the
Bible. Well, I thought, I am close to God. I am striving to be closer to Him
every day, so why can’t I get the Holy Ghost? What am I doing wrong? I would
fast for as much as 2 weeks at a time sometimes. I fasted regularly in the
hopes of finding what was really right and truly from God.
I went up to the front of the church to receive the Holy Spirit like everyone
else. They would fall in the floor when they got it, but not me. I asked God,
“Ok, God, if this is really from you, then I want it too! I want the Holy
Spirit to come and live inside me and speak in tongues and be a better person
like them”. This thing never happened for me.
I will never forget the day I was on my knees beside my bed, crying out to
God, begging Him to show me what was right and true from Him. I cried and
prayed for hours. I decided at that moment I would not go back to church. I
would find God on my own. I prayed that He would bring someone into my life
that could guide me to the Truths of God. I prayed for a good and righteous
husband that would be a guide for me as well.Cindy Dry, Ex-Christian, USA (part
2 of 3): Learning About Islam
Description: After moving through various denominations of Christianity, Sister
Cindy (now Sanadee) describes how she found Islam after crying out to God for
Page 6
guidance in her moment of despair. Part One: Learning about Islam and
accepting.
By Cindy Dry - Published on 28 May 2007 - Last modified on 27 May 2007
It was a few years later before God answered my prayers, but I had no idea He
was even working in my life. This is when the man popped up onto my instant
messenger screen and began telling me about Islam. I was very intrigued by the
things he would tell me about this strange religion. It turned out that this
man lived only two blocks down the road from me! He sent me websites about
Islam, and the more I read the more intrigued I would become.
One of the first things I read was the Christian-Muslim Dialogue. If you
have not read that, I strongly urge you to read this fascinating piece of work.
One of the most important aspects of Islam that my friend shared with me about
Islam was that I didn’t have to give up anything about Christianity that I
believed. I was really interested to know that Muslims believed in the same
characters that are in the Bible. I was awed to know that they believe in Adam
and Eve, Moses, Noah, and even Jesus.
But then he told me they don’t believe Jesus is the Son of God. Oh, no, I
thought. I can’t believe that Jesus is not the Son of God. That is grounds for
going to hell. Christians are so terrified of hell by what they are told in the
Preachers’ sermons. That one was a tough one to swallow. I put that thought
aside and continued on with learning more.
Then my friend said they don’t go through an intercessor like Jesus when they
pray, but instead pray straight to God. Wow, that is an answer for me.
I could never figure out what part of God to pray to. They used to tell me
the egg theory to explain the Trinity. That story didn’t fly with me. I
couldn’t force it to make sense. Christianity teaches you only need the faith
of a mustard seed. I could have a cupful of mustard seeds and the Trinity still
didn’t make sense to me.
My friend taught me that Jesus was a great Prophet that came only to teach
the Israelites about God, as did Noah to his people, and Moses to his people.
He went on to explain that Muslims believe that Muhammad was the last
Messenger, and he came to deliver the same message as Jesus and the other
prophets, but that he came for all mankind. I was interested to know more about
Islam, about God, whom Muslims call Allah, and about the message of Prophet
Muhammad.
Then an amazing change happened in my life. My friend set up a meeting for
me with Dr. Kazi and Allia. Dr. Kazi would later become my legal guardian.
My friend told me how knowledgeable Dr. Kazi was, and that he and his wife
could teach me more about Islam. We were invited to their home. This was a new
experience for me, as I had never met people who take their shoes off at the
door. He didn’t make me take my shoes off though. They were so cordial to me
that it was all overwhelming. He taught me a little more about Islam.
He invited me to a class he teaches on Sunday afternoons to teach people
about Islam. I went to the class with my friend, and felt very excited about my
new experiences.
I felt a little nervous as I made my way to the front of the class where the
women used to sit, and the men in back. The first person I saw was Izziddin,
who, unbeknownst to me, would be my husband. For some reason, he gave me
chills. When I heard his voice, my heart would skip a beat, and, of course, I
thought he was very cute. Mind you, I wasn’t in the mindset I am now. That was
jahiliah (worldly thinking).
It was a very interesting class. Everyone was so friendly and made me feel
so welcomed. I never experienced such warmness from strangers, who were mostly
from other countries that I was unfamiliar with. They were such a neat group
of people. They left me wanting more; more involvement with this type of
people, and wanting to know more about their religion.
Dr. Kazi gave me a copy of a book he had written called, 130 Evident Miracles
in Quran. After the class, Izziddin came running to give me tapes about Islam.
I thought he liked me, but it turned out he does this for everyone he meets,
especially new people, to help them feel welcomed. Dr.
Kazi yelled at him, “Brother, don’t overwhelm her with so many tapes!” I
laughed, but I felt genuine concern from Dr. Kazi and his wonderful wife,
Allia. Izziddin was so excited to share his religion with anyone who would
listen.
I went home and watched those tapes, one of which was a debate between Sheikh
Page 7
Ahmed Deedat and Jimmy Swaggart. I was amazed and impressed with Mr. Deedat and
his knowledge of the Bible. I knew Jimmy Swaggart from his history of TV
evangelizing some years before. He, among other TV evangelists, admitted his
terrible sins on national television. At that time, lots of TV evangelists were
doing all sorts of bad things and, either getting caught or just outright
admitting their atrocities. This was another reason I quit going to church. If
you can’t trust the leaders, who can you trust.
The debate led me to more questions and a deeper desire to learn more about
this religion, Islam. I wanted to read the Quran but no one would give me one.
I wanted to know what was in their Holy Book, so I could compare it to the
Bible.
I read Dr. Kazi’s ‘130 Evident Miracles’ book. I was so shocked and
surprised by the scientific miracles that were in the Quran, which I still had
not had the privilege of reading. You would think it was a National Treasure
the way they were keeping me from it. After reading about all the miracles, I
thought, “Wow, if these miracles are in the Quran, then it truly must be a book
from God. My new internet friend gave me a book that had a few verses of Quran
in it, but it left me wanting more.
The following Sunday, I went to Dr. Kazi’s class again. At the end of the
class, he presented me with a copy of the translation of the Holy Quran by
Maududi. I was overwhelmed. I remember clutching that book like it was my
life. Little did I know at that time, but it was indeed my life. I couldn’t
wait to get it home and start reading it.
I began reading as soon as I got home. I started from the front cover. I
was enthralled with it, and it felt special to me. I had a difficult time
putting it down. I wanted to find all these miracles that were promised in Dr.
Kazi’s book. I was eager to read more. I remembered how confusing it had
always been to me, trying to figure out whom to pray to; Father, Son or Holy
Spirit. Was Jesus really the Son of God, and did he die for my sins too? I felt
like that if Dr. Kazi’s miracles were in this book called the Quran, then this
amazing book indeed was Holy and had to be from God, which would mean I had to
believe whatever else it said. I continued on reading.
I reached Surah Al-Nisa. Then, like a lightning bolt, my body was shocked,
and my knees hit the floor, with tears streaming down my face. I wept
uncontrollably, asking God to forgive me for all the sins I had ever committed
in my life, and for being angry with Him when I couldn’t find the truths. He
had now answered my prayer that I prayed by my bed all those many years ago.
I read the words that would forever change my life:
“O People of the Book! Commit no excesses in your religion: nor say of God
except but the truth. Christ Jesus the son of Mary was (no more than) a
Messenger of God, and His Word, which He bestowed on Mary, and a Spirit
proceeding from Him. So believe in God and His Messengers, and say not “Three
(Trinity)”. Desist! It will be better for you: For God is One God; Glory be to
Him (Far Exalted is He) above having a son. To Him belong all things in the
heavens and on earth. And God is All Sufficient as a Disposer of affairs.”
(Quran 4:171)
I was sobbing uncontrollable at this point, but couldn’t stop reading. Ayah
174: O mankind! Verily there hath come to you a convincing proof from your Lord,
and We have sent unto you a light manifest.
174: So those who believe in God, and hold fast to Him -soon will He admit them
to Mercy and Grace from Himself, and guide them to Himself by a straight Way.
My life was changed in that instant. I sent Dr. Kazi another of my many
emails and told him that I was ready. I wanted to be Muslim. On Sunday of the
following week, on February 24, 1999, I said my shahadah (Testimony).
Ash hadu un la illaha il ALLAH, wa ash hadu una Muhammdur RasoolALLAH.
(I bear witness that none is to be worshipped but God, and I bear witness that
Muhammad is a Messenger of God)
I met the most amazing people who accepted me into their lives and hearts,
and I was overwhelmed with joy.
Natassia M. Kelly, Ex-Christian, USA (part 1 of 2)
Description: A Christian girl finds it hard to come to terms with the tenets of
belief in Christianity.
By Natassia M. Kelly - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 10 Jul 2006
I was raised to believe in God from childhood. I attended church nearly

every Sunday, went to Bible school, and sang in the choir. Yet religion was
Page 8
never a really big part of my life.
There were times when I thought myself close to God. I often prayed to Him
for guidance and strength in times of despair or for a wish in times of want.
But I soon realized that this feeling of closeness soon evaporated when I was no
longer begging God for something. I realized that even though I believed, I
lacked faith.
I perceived the world to be a game in which God indulged in from time to
time. He inspired people to write a Bible and somehow people were able to find
faith within this Bible.
As I grew older and became more aware of the world, I believed more in God.
I believed that there had to be a God to bring some order to the chaotic world.
If there were no God, I believed the world would have ended in utter anarchy
thousands of years ago. It was comfort to me to believe there was a
supernatural force guiding and protecting man.
Children usually assume their religion from parents. I was no different. At
the age of 12, I began to give in depth thinking to my spirituality. I realized
there was a void in my life where a faith should be. Whenever I was in need or
despair, I simply prayed to someone called Lord. But who was this Lord truly?
I once asked my mother who to pray to, Jesus or God. Believing my mother to be
right, I prayed to Jesus and to him I attributed all good things.
I have heard that religion cannot be argued. My friends and I tried to do
this many times. I often had debates with my friends about Protestantism,
Catholicism, and Judaism. Through these debates I searched within myself more
and more and decided I should do something about my emptiness. And so at the
age of 13, I began my search for truth.
Humankind is always in constant pursuit of knowledge or the truth. My search
for truth could not be deemed as an active pursuit of knowledge. I continued
having the debates, and I read the Bible more, but it did not really extend from
this. During this period of time, my mother took notice of my behavior, and
from then on I have been in a “religious phase.” My behavior was far from a
phase. I simply shared my newly gained knowledge with my family. I learned
about the beliefs, practices, and doctrines within Christianity and minimal
beliefs and practices within Judaism.
A few months within my search, I realized that if I believe in Christianity I
believed myself to be condemned to Hell. Not even considering the sins of my
past, I was on a “one way road to Hell” as southern ministers tend to say. I
could not believe all the teachings within Christianity. However, I did try.
I can remember many times being in church and fighting with myself during the
Call to Discipleship. I was told that by simply confessing Jesus to be my Lord
and Savior, I would be guaranteed eternal life in Heaven. I never did walk down
the aisle to the pastor’s outstretched hands, and my reluctance even increased
my fears of heading for Hell. During this time I was at unease. I often had
alarming nightmares, and I felt very alone in the world.
But not only did I lack belief but I had many questions that I posed to every
knowledgeable Christian I could find and never really did receive a satisfactory
answer. I was simply told things that confused me even more. I was told that I
am trying to put logic to God and if I had faith I could simply believe and go
to Heaven. Well, that was the problem: I did not have faith. I did not
believe.
I did not really believe in anything. I did believe there was a God and that
Jesus was his son sent to save humankind. That was it. My questions and
reasoning did, however, exceed my beliefs.
The questions went on and on. My perplexity increased. My uncertainty
increased. For fifteen years I had blindly followed a faith simply because it
was the faith of my parents.Natassia M. Kelly, Ex-Christian, USA (part 2 of 2)
Description: After reading literature and discussing belief with various Muslim
girls, Natassia accepts Islam at age 15.
By Natassia M. Kelly - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 31 Jul 2006
Something happened in my life in which the little faith I did have decreased
to all but nothing. My search came to a stop. I no longer searched within
myself, the Bible, or church. I had given up for a while. I was a very bitter
parson until one day a friend gave me a book. It was called “The
Muslim-Christian Dialogue.”
I took the book and read it. I am ashamed to say that during my searching
Page 9
never did I once consider another religion. Christianity was all I knew, and I
never thought about leaving it. My knowledge of Islam was very minimal. In
fact, it was mainly filled with misconception and stereotypes. The book
surprised me. I found that I was not the only one who believed there was a
simply a God. I asked for more books. I received them as well as pamphlets.
I learned about Islam from an intellectual aspect. I had a close friend who
was Muslim and I often asked her questions about the practices. Never did I
once consider Islam as my faith. Many things about Islam alienated me.
After a couple months of reading, the month of Ramadan began. Every Friday,
I could I joined the local Muslim community for the breaking of the fast and the
reciting of the Quran. I posed questions that I may have come across to the
Muslim girls. I was in awe at how someone could have so much certainty in what
they believed and followed. I felt myself drawn to the religion that alienated
me.
Having believed for so long that I was alone, Islam did comfort me in many
ways. Islam was brought as a reminder to the world. It was brought to lead the
people back to the right path.
Beliefs were not the only thing important to me. I wanted a discipline to
pattern my life by. I did not just want to believe someone was my savior and
through this I held the ticket to Heaven. I wanted to know how to act to
receive the approval of God. I wanted a closeness to God. I wanted to be
God-conscious. Most of all I wanted a chance for heaven. I began to feel that
Christianity did not give this to me, but Islam did.
I continued learning more. I went to the Eid celebration (the celebrative
day following the fast of Ramadan and the rite of Hajj) and [Friday] and weekly
classes with my friends.
Through religion one receives peace of mind. A calmness about them. This I
had off and on for about three years. During the off times I was more
susceptible to the temptations of Satan. In early February of 1997, I came to
the realization that Islam was right and true. However, I did not want to make
any hasty decisions. I did decide to wait.
Within this duration, the temptations of Satan increased. I can recollect
two dreams in which he was a presence. Satan was calling me to him. After I
awoke from these nightmares I found solace in Islam. I found myself repeating
the Shahadah. These dreams almost made me change my mind. I confided them in
my Muslim friend. She suggested that maybe Satan was there to lead me from the
truth. I never thought of it that way.
On March 19, 1997 after returning from a weekly class, I recited the Shahadah
to myself. Then on March 26, I recited it before witnesses and became an
official Muslim.
I cannot express the joy I felt. I cannot express the weight that was lifted
from my shoulders. I had finally received my peace of mind.
...
It has been about five months since I recited the Shahadah. Islam has made
me a better person. I am stronger now and understand things more. My life has
changed significantly. I now have purpose. My purpose is to prove myself
worthy of eternal life in Heaven. I have my long sought after faith. Religion
is a part of me all the time. I am striving everyday to become the best Muslim
I can be.
People are often amazed at how a fifteen year old can make such an important
decision in life. I am grateful that God blessed me with my state of mind that
I was able to find it so young.
Striving to be a good Muslim in a Christian dominated society is hard.
Living with a Christian family is even harder. However, I do not try to get
discouraged. I do not wish to dwell on my present predicament, but I believe
that my jihad is simply making me stronger. Someone once told me that I am
better off than some people who were born into Islam, in that I had to find,
experience, and realize the greatness and mercy of God. I have acquired the
reasoning that seventy years of life on earth is nothing compared to eternal
life in Paradise.
I must admit that I lack the aptitude to express the greatness, mercy, and
glory of God. I hope my account helped others who may feel the way I felt or
struggle the way I struggled.
Lynda Fitzgerald, Ex-Catholic, Ireland (part 1 of 4)
Description: Feeling lonely and wanting something new in life, Lynda accepts a
job offer in Saudi Arabia.
By Lynda Fitzgerald - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 10 Sep 2006
Page 10
Introduction
Lynda Fitzgerald, now known as Khadija, is an Irish girl from a town called
Wicklow, close to Dublin. She hails from a very strict Roman Catholic family,
comprising of nine children. Her father is an Electrician and her mother a
Housewife.
Lynda was educated in Wicklow and then went on to Secretarial College. She
has worked in Dublin for nine years.
Khadija, as she is now called, reverted to Islam, after having come to Saudi
Arabia. She relates, in this article, the sequence of events that brought her
to this Holy Land and introduced her to the right path. May God Bless her.
How I Came To Saudi Arabia
I was in a young people’s club. We would meet every Monday and then go to
the pub afterwards. Sometimes I went, but mostly I went home after the
meetings. One night, a new girl had started in the club, and I decided to go to
the pub to talk to her and make her feel welcome. It turned out that she worked
for a recruiting agency that recruited for Saudi Arabia. She started to tell me
all about it. I was fascinated. I had hardly even heard of Saudi Arabia before
that. As the night went on I got more and more interested and by the time I
left the pub I really wanted to go to Saudi.
I applied for a job that year, 1993 but I didn’t get it. So, I didn’t think
about it for a while. I went home for Christmas and was very bored, and I
decided I just had to do something different with my life. All my friends had
boyfriends or were married and had moved on to different things. I suddenly
found myself with no ties. When I went back to the city after Christmas, I rang
that girl in the recruiting agency and asked her to put me forward for any job
that came up in Saudi Arabia. She said ‘You won’t believe it. I just got a fax
from the Security Forces Hospital looking for a secretary’. I was here by 15
March 1994.
My First Impressions of Islam
When you come to Saudi Arabia the first thing the other Westerners will tell
you is how terrible the Muslims are, how badly they treat their women, how they
all go off to pray and don’t come back for hours, how they all go to Bahrain to
drink and pick up women. You’re prejudiced right from the start…and you think
that’s Islam. But it’s not Islam. Unfortunately the majority of westerners
fail to see that.
How I Changed That View
For me, I was curious from the start. I’d see the people praying in the
mosque, and I thought it was great to have such strong faith to worship God so
much. I would see leaflets lying around and pick them up to read them, but then
my Western friends would say “what do you want to read that for, they’re only
trying to brainwash you,” and I was embarrassed and I stopped doing it. Then I
started taking Arabic lessons and the Arabic teacher, an Egyptian guy, really
impressed me. He was so different from a lot of the Muslims I’d met. His faith
was so strong. I got friendly with him because I was having some trouble with a
Muslim guy in work and I needed someone to talk to about it. I would get all
upset and blame it all on Islam, and he would be really patient and explain
things to me, and he helped me to see that it wasn’t Islam and that not all
Muslims behaved like this.
Another thing the Westerners will tell you is that all the Muslims want to do
is revert you, and that they’ll try and brainwash you. So, of course, you’re
very wary if anyone tries to talk to you about Islam, and you put up a wall
between you and them, and you won’t listen to anything that they tell you. So,
with Khaled, he never talked about Islam unless I brought up the subject first,
or I incorrectly blamed something on Islam; and sometimes I would practically
attack him unfairly about something that had nothing whatsoever to do with
Islam. He always remained calm and was very patient and it was very clear that
he just wanted me to know the truth, he just wanted me to see that I was being
unfair and I had been misinformed.
Then it was Ramadan. A lot of the Saudi guys in work were moaning and
complaining “we can smell food, you guys shouldn’t be eating in your offices,
you should have more respect for us”. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t even
have a cup of water on my desk, after all they were supposed to be making a
sacrifice for God, they shouldn’t care if I had a cup of water on my desk. The
following extract from my diary shows how I felt at the beginning of Ramadan.
“It’s Ramadan. My goodness, what a month. It’s so annoying. You can’t even
mention the word food. They’re all going around like mega martyrs and most of
them aren’t even working. They only have to do six hours a day so they just
Page 11
stay up all night and eat and make the rest of us feel like complete pagans
during the day.”
My friend, Khaled, tried to explain some of it to me. He explained about
praying late at night and trying extra hard to be good and not use bad language
or [complain] or backbite and how you had to give more in charity. He said that
some westerners tried fasting to see what it was like, and some of them liked it
so much that they did it every year. One morning I woke up and I decided, I’m
going to fast. So I did. I didn’t tell anyone about it, not even Khaled, at
first, but he realized it himself eventually.
One day, I went to see him and he said he had something he wanted me to
read. He brought a copy of the Quran to show me a passage about Jesus (PBUH)
and when he put it in my hands it was like he had given me a precious piece of
crystal. I felt awed. I didn’t want to give it back to him, but I felt stupid
and I was afraid he’d laugh if I told him how I felt. So I gave it back to him
but it burned inside me for days until finally he actually said it to me himself
“why don’t you read the Quran” and it was like a weight was lifted from my
shoulders and I brought it home and started reading it that night.Lynda
Fitzgerald, Ex-Catholic, Ireland (part 2 of 4)
Description: After reading the Quran, Lynda starts to struggle with the notion
of accepting Islam and leaving her prior beliefs and way of life.
By Lynda Fitzgerald - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 31 Jul 2006
The Quran
Two things happened to me while I was reading the Quran. Firstly, I was
reading the following Surah (Surah II (Al Baqara - 21) and I just stopped
reading. I shut my eyes and I thought about God. Suddenly I got a feeling of
the oneness of God, of the superiority of God. I could see that he would have
no reason to have a partner. I just couldn’t see anyone there with him on the
same level with him, why would he need anyone. He wouldn’t, I was so sure of
that. A strange peace came over me and I felt really sure that there is no God
but God. I just wanted that feeling to last forever, but it went within a
couple of minutes.
The second was when I was reading Surah Al Hajj (22-5). Again I closed my
eyes and I had a picture of the world, barren and new born. I saw a mound of
earth and a seed growing into a tree and I thought. “Where did that seed come
from?” Where did all the beautiful variety of plants that you find all over the
world come from. It could only have come from God. Again I felt peace, and I
felt the wonder of God.
The Months Before I Reverted
These had to be the hardest and the best months of my life. Sometimes I was
on a high and sometimes I felt utter despair. This is an extract from my diary
in April:
“Something weird is happening to me and I just don’t know how I feel about
it, whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing, whether my imagination is running
away with me or whether I’m just letting myself be brainwashed. Then again, it
could be what’s right and what’s meant to be.
The thing is, I’ve been studying Islam and I’m really thinking of reverting -
God help me. At the moment, I just don’t know what to think, the whole thing
scares the living daylights out of me. I never thought this kind of thing could
happen to me. I certainly didn’t want to be reverted. I always considered
myself a catholic, I always believed in God and I always believed that Jesus was
the son of God. Now I’m questioning all that, I’m questioning everything I was
brought up to believe in and my whole way of life.”
I would think about Islam from the time I got up in the morning until I went
home in the evening. After a while, when I’d hear the adhan, I would get a
really strong desire to pray, and in the beginning I would pray in the old
Christian way. Then, I asked one of the guys in work for a book on how to pray
and he gave me one. I read that book, I watched the people praying on TV, and I
asked a lot of questions. Then I started praying. Still, no one knew about it
except two guys at work. The Egyptian guy and another Jordanian guy who is also
a really good Muslim.
In the beginning, I would pray without covering my hair. I didn’t know that
I was supposed to, and when someone finally did tell me I just couldn’t figure
out the reason why. I had a long argument about it with Khaled one day in work,
and I still couldn’t fathom it. Then, when I was going home that evening, I was
walking up to catch the bus and I got a feeling of the superiority of God and
Page 12
how small and insignificant I was compared to him, I felt as small as an ant
with the whole world stretched out before me, and I knew that I should cover my
head when I was praying, because he could see every movement that I made, and I
had no right to be proud, and I should do everything I could to please him. I
never doubted again that I should cover my head whilst praying.
My diary 23 April 1995
“Well, I’m still not sure what I’m doing. Some times it seems so clear and I
think ‘Yes, I believe and I want to shout it out.’ Then other times I feel
really unsure and doubtful and afraid, and I just don’t know what I’m doing.
The thing is though. Besides anything else, it is a really good religion. The
Quran is quite beautiful and everything is in there - how to behave, how to
pray, what to do, what not to do. There’s none of that in the Catholic church,
besides the fact that they change it from time to time to suit themselves. If
you follow this religion you can’t be bad, not to anyone. You can only be kind
and patient and tolerant and you can never forget God because you are
worshipping him five times a day. I love to pray, I always did. It helps you
to remember all the good things you have in life and where they came from and
you should be grateful for that always. It brings peace in to your life.”
Sometimes, I was really glad that I had found out about Islam, and sometimes
I wished I’d never heard of it, because now that I knew the truth, I realized
that I had no choice but to revert, but I was still hanging on to the old life;
even though I had given up drinking and going to parties, I was afraid of
loosing my western friends and the prejudice I would have to face once I started
covering my head. I talked about it to Khaled so many times, and each time I
said, ‘I’ll never have the courage to wear the hijab’ and each time he said,
‘when God wills it, you’ll have the courage.’
My diary: My problem is I’m a natural born coward. I dread the thoughts of
people’s reaction when I start covering my head. How could I ever tell my
mother or Liz in Australia. How can I go to Australia or even Ireland and cover
my head - I don’t think I can face it you know. God give me strength.Lynda
Fitzgerald, Ex-Catholic, Ireland (part 3 of 4)
Description: Lynda discusses her internal battle about wearing the Hijab.
Changing My Job
There had been a freeze on recruitment at my hospital, and then in June they
suddenly opened up for recruitment, and there were two jobs that I could go
for. One was in the Personnel Department, and the other was in the Education
and Training Department. I had a choice of both jobs, and both Directors were
really pushing me to take their department. If I went to the Personnel
Department I would be right in the middle of things, and I would know everything
that was going on in the hospital, and I would have more chance of getting a pay
rise in the future. If I went to Education, I knew there was more chance that
people would find out about me being a Muslim, and I would have to start
covering my head. For weeks I worried and fretted about what to do. Suddenly
it became very important for me to be in the middle of things and to know what
was going on in the hospital and to be in such a strong position, but still
something was stopping me. Finally my Jordanian friend told me to say two extra
Raka’s after my prayer in the evening and to ask for God’s guidance. I did that
for days and it just didn’t seem to be working. I think I knew that I had to go
to Education but there was a constant battle going on inside me, I was afraid of
people finding out, I was afraid of having to face them and thoughts kept
creeping into my head about what a powerful position I’d be in if I went to
Personnel. Then, one night I was reading the Quran, and it occurred to me that
all those things didn’t mean anything to me, money, gossip, power. They never
had. So why had they suddenly become so attractive and I thought, it’s Shaytaan
trying to convince me, because he knows if I go to Education, then I’d have more
support, because there were more Muslims in the department, and I’d get more
involved in the religion. And it was like a cloud had lifted, and I made up my
mind, and I couldn’t wait for the next day to come so that I could tell my boss
my decision. Of course, I went to Education.
Wearing the Hijab
After that things moved pretty rapidly. I started going to the mosque to
pray and I had a lot of support in the Education department. Then my boss, who
is (strictly religious), found out and started pressing me to cover my head. So
I had to think about it seriously. I didn’t want to do it for the wrong
Page 13
reason. I wanted to do it because I was ready and when I knew that I could put
it on and never take it off again. Then my boss went on Holidays, and I felt
the pressure was off me, but still I was thinking about it all the time. I had
constant arguments with my friend about wearing it and the reason why and I
still wasn’t convinced.
One weekend, I was at a friends house on the compound, and some new girls had
arrived and I got talking to them. They were really nice, and I felt I could be
friends with them, but then I thought, ‘OK, new people are coming and it is only
going to get harder and harder. Maybe if they see me with the hijab from the
start, then they will accept it and not question it as much.’ I decided to
start wearing it the next day. Here’s an extract from my diary:
“So I think I’m going to cover my head tomorrow. One half of me feels it’s
the right time, the other half is screaming at me not to. I’m trying to ignore
that half. It’s just so hard to know what to do. What if I hate if after a
day, or a week; or I realize I made a mistake after a week or a month. There’s
no turning back, not unless I want to loose all respect. When am I ever going
to be 100% sure, when will I ever be any more sure than this. I have to take
that chance, I have to believe that if it’s what God wants, then I’ll get
through it.
I’m having a panic attack now. Help! Do I really believe in this religion?
Do I really want to live my life like this? Do I want to spend every night and
every weekend alone? Help! Help! Help! Oh God, why is this so hard? Why am
I such a wuss? 29 years of age and still acting like a 5 year old. How have I
made decisions in the past when I can’t seem to get it together on this one at
all? I’m not even a really good person, I have to work hard at being even half
way good. Right now, I’d like to get out of this country, go to a disco, dance
wildly, get drunk, scream, shout, and sing. Can I face the rest of my life
knowing I can’t drink, can’t have a boyfriend, and can’t go outdoors without
covering my head. If Kate was here right now, I think I’d ring her and ask her
to make me a marguerita. But she’s not! I think the Devils working overtime on
me right now. And people think I’m a sensible person you know. It’d make you
laugh, wouldn’t it?
I’m determined I’m going to do it. I’ve got to do it. At least, if nothing
else, I might come to my senses and realize what a fool I am, at most I’ll
realize that I made the right decision, and I’m on the right track – enshallah
[God-willing].”
I didn’t sleep a wink that night. Right up to the last minute I didn’t think
I’d have the courage to do it. But just before I went out the door I put it
on. I never looked back.
It was like all the doubts were gone. It was like Shaytaan had left me. I
felt proud. I felt like I was walking ten feet tall. I wanted everyone to know
that I was a Muslim. I was proud to be a Muslim. I knew that I had made the
right decision and I would never regret it. Subhan Allah [May God be
glorified], He made it very easy for me.Lynda Fitzgerald, Ex-Catholic, Ireland
(part 4 of 4)
Description: Lynda finally accept Islam and tells of some internal conflicts she
struggled to overcome after doing so.
Reverting
Two weeks later I went to the Dawa center. I was really frightened and I was
afraid I would say something wrong. My friend Khaled and his wife brought me
and it was very emotional. At the end, all of us had tears in our eyes. I
cried all the way home in the car.
Up to Date
Still, everything wasn’t as it should be. In changing my lifestyle, I had
become a complete TV addict. My whole life now revolved around prayer and TV in
the evening. I wasn’t happy about it, but I was too lazy to do anything about
it. I would try to read my Islamic books, but I just felt that I couldn’t take
in any more. Then rumors about me were going around the hospital, and they
started to get back to me. This really upset me, because I hated my life to be
the subject of every ones curiosity, and I hated to be the brunt of backbiting
and rumors. I went home from work one evening, and I felt that I just couldn’t
face it any longer. I hated coming in and watching TV all night and seeing and
talking to no one, and the weekends had become a nightmare. I might not see
anyone all weekend. I felt lost and alone. It came time for Isha prayer that
Page 14
night and I just didn’t want to do it. This had never happened to me before and
it really upset me. I cried solidly for two hours.
The next day my eyes were really swollen and I cried on and off all day.
Khaled kept asking me what was wrong and at first I just couldn’t tell him,
because I felt so ashamed, even though I had done the prayer because I knew I
had to. Eventually I told him and he reassured me that even he felt that way
sometimes and not to feel bad about it or get upset about it. What I needed was
to change my lifestyle, play tennis, go shopping, read a book. I kept arguing
that that wouldn’t help because I still needed people to talk to, I would still
be lonely.
That night I went home, and I felt I was really loosing it, I felt I just
couldn’t go on. After my prayer I prostrated myself and I prayed really hard
“Please God, don’t let me loose you, please don’t let me loose you.” I sat up
and turned to the short verses in the back of the Quran and I found
Al-Taakathur, and after reading it I realized that I had to let go of all these
things I was still attached to, like the TV and worrying about people and what
they thought about me. I had to learn to let go. And I felt all my worries
leaving me as if they were coming out of my back and floating away.
The next day at Fajr, when I finished my prayer, I got a feeling that I
should put my hands in front of me while I was saying my Du’ua. I had seen
people doing this but I never understood what it was for. I put out my hands
and I prayed for God to help me to let go and to try harder to be a better
person. Then I put my hands up to my face and I felt a tingling sensation and a
sense of well being and peace and for ages. I was afraid to move in case it went
away. But it didn’t.
That day at work, I had a visit from a guy in the Computer department -
Anwer. I had never met him before but he had heard about me. He told me about
the Rajhi mosque, and that there were lectures in English on a Friday. I
decided that I would go that Friday. That week I didn’t watch any TV, and I
played tennis and then I asked one of our limo drivers that I trusted to bring
me to the mosque.
Friday morning, I got very nervous and at the last minute, I felt that I
didn’t want to go. What if I went to the wrong Mosque, what if I did everything
wrong. Just as I was going out the door, I prayed to God to guide me and to let
everything turn out OK. And, everything did turn out OK. I met the Sameers’,
an expatriate family from Sri Lanka, living and working in Saudi Arabia, my new
family, and they took me in to their home and treated me like one of their own.
May God bless them and reward them and I thank Him every day for choosing them
and for letting me meet them.
Sophie Jenkins, Ex-Catholic-Protestant, UK
Description: Fed with many misconceptions about Islam, Sophie finally decides to
see for herself.
By Sophie Jenkins - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 25 Sep 2006
I was born into a lower middle-class English family; my mother was (and is) a
housewife and my father worked at an electronics firm (he is now a lecturer in
electronic engineering). My father came from a Catholic background, and my
mother from a Protestant one. They had both shared a short spell in the Quaker
church in the early 1970’s, but by the time I came along, they were strong
atheists and religion was never mentioned in our house, let alone practiced. My
parents had decided that if we wanted to be religious when we grew up, they
would support this.
From a young age, I believed in God, despite not being brought up with this
belief, but still I got the feeling that what they were teaching in the
Christian school I went to was not right, somehow. I didn’t believe in Jesus or
the Holy Spirit, it all seemed false, but at school they told us this was the
only right way, all other religions were wrong, so I was VERY confused. When
you’re a small child, you assume adults are always right with no exceptions:
what they say, goes. Still, I could not let this go, so I probably, quite
wisely, decided to keep my belief in only one God private. I felt guilty for
believing something that was ‘wrong’. I felt ashamed and I hoped and prayed
that I would stop being a heretic soon. When I was young, I was exposed very
much to the fear of ‘Islamic Fundamentalism’, especially with the Salman Rushdie
affair at the front of people’s minds, I was very frightened of the Muslims in
general. There were two Muslim children at my primary school, but they kept
their beliefs to themselves, except for the fact that the younger child Ali
Page 15
refused to pray in Assembly.
I had always prayed for God to show me the right way, I always turned to God
for help. There was no doubt in my mind that God existed by the time I was 11
or 12 years old, and in high school I began to realize that perhaps my belief in
one God wasn’t wrong. At this time, I had not really heard of Islam, all I
‘knew’ about it was that it was a violent religion that treated women like
dirt. We were actually taught in SCHOOL that Islam was spread by the sword (in
other words by violent and forceful means), that women in Islam were chattels
symbolized by their dress, and that Muslims worshipped Mohammed (Salalah Alaihi
Was Sallam). I was really disgusted, every time I saw a Muslim lady when
shopping in Manchester (there are few Muslims in my area) I thought, ‘how can
you do that to yourself?? I was really incensed. They did teach us one true
thing though, that Muslims believe in only one God, which was something I
honestly did not know before then.
I looked into all manner of other religions, Judaism, Hinduism and Buddhism,
but they all appeared so man-made and contradictory. However one day, I don’t
know what hit me, but I just felt I had to check whether what I had been taught
was true or not. I was also curious because I had been told Muslims believed in
one God, and I wanted to see if it were true or not. I saw a book called
‘Elements of Islam’ in the local library, and secretly I took it out. I turned
straight to the section on Muslim women, and I was absolutely astounded by what
I read. It was contrary to what I had been taught about Islam and women, and
better than anything else I had ever heard of. I didn’t doubt what I read, I
knew it was true, I knew deep in my heart that all of my prayers had been
answered. Islam was the truth that I had been searching for all of my life!
Still I felt bad for feeling this, the old guilt from my primary school days
came creeping back; how could I believe in this ‘wrong’ religion? I tried to
find evidence to ‘prove’ to me that Islam was not the truth, but it was
impossible: all books that said negative things about Islam, I already knew they
were lying. All books that said positive things about Islam, I knew they were
telling the truth.
I decided I must be a Muslim, although I couldn’t come to terms with it, and
I didn’t tell anyone. I read every book I could get my hands on, I got a
translated copy of the Quran from the library but I couldn’t understand it, it
was all in Middle English. This didn’t put me off - I knew it was only a
translation, and what I did gather from it, I liked very much. I knew Islam was
for life, that there was no turning back, so I really had to make sure. I ended
up studying for two and a half years before chancing upon a chat room in January
1997 that was to change my life. It was the chatroom at [a Muslim website], and
the people there were very helpful. The second time I went there I took
Shahadah (declaration of faith that makes One a Muslim) in front of people from
all over the world.
Margaret Marcus, Ex-Jew, USA (part 1 of 5)
Description: Margaret discusses her early childhood of Sunday school, leaving
and scorning all organized religion, and a class she took about Judaism and
Islam in university.
By Margaret Marcus - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 15 May 2007
Q: Would you kindly tell us how your interest in Islam began?

A: I was Margaret (Peggy) Marcus. As a small child, I possessed a keen
interest in music and was particularly fond of the classical operas and
symphonies considered high culture in the West. Music was my favorite subject
in school in which I always earned the highest grades. By sheer chance, I
happened to hear Arabic music over the radio which so much pleased me that I was
determined to hear more. I would not leave my parents in peace until my father
finally took me to the Syrian section in New York City where I bought a stack of
Arabic recordings. My parents, relatives and neighbors thought Arabic and its
music dreadfully weird and so distressing to their ears that whenever I put on
my recordings, they demanded that I close all the doors and windows in my room
lest they be disturbed! After I embraced Islam in 1961, I used to sit enthralled
by the hour at the mosque in New York, listening to tape-recordings of Tilawat
[Quran recitation] … by the celebrated Egyptian Qari, Abdul Basit. But on Juma
Salat (Friday Prayers), the Imam did not play the tapes. We had a special guest
that day. A short, very thin and poorly-dressed black youth, who introduced
himself to us as a student from Zanzibar, recited Surah ar-Rahman [A chapter of
the Quran]. I never heard such glorious Tilawat even from Abdul Basit! He
Page 16
possessed such a voice of gold; surely …Bilal [a companion of the Prophet, may
God exalt his mention, who was charged with announcing the call to prayer 5
times a day] must have sounded much like him!
I traced the beginning of my interest in Islam to the age of ten. While
attending a reformed Jewish Sunday school, I became fascinated with the
historical relationship between the Jews and the Arabs. From my Jewish
textbooks, I learned that Abraham was the father of the Arabs as well as the
Jews. I read how centuries later when, in medieval Europe, Christian
persecution made their lives intolerable, the Jews were welcomed in Muslim
Spain, and that it was the magnanimity of this same Arabic Islamic civilization
which stimulated Hebrew culture to reach its highest peak of achievement.
Totally unaware of the true nature of Zionism, I naively thought that the
Jews were returning to Palestine to strengthen their close ties of kinship in
religion and culture with their Semitic cousins. Together, I believed that the
Jews and the Arabs would cooperate to attain another Golden Age of culture in
the Middle East.
Despite my fascination with the study of Jewish history, I was extremely
unhappy at the Sunday school. At this time I identified myself strongly with
the Jewish people in Europe, then suffering a horrible fate under the Nazis, and
I was shocked that none of my fellow classmates nor their parents took their
religion seriously. During the services at the synagogue, the children used to
read comic strips hidden in their prayer books and laugh to scorn at the
rituals. The children were so noisy and disorderly that the teachers could not
discipline them and found it very difficult to conduct the classes.
At home, the atmosphere for religious observance was scarcely more
congenial. My elder sister detested the Sunday school so much that my mother
literally had to drag her out of bed in the mornings, and it never went without
the struggle of tears and hot words. Finally, my parents were exhausted and let
her quit. On the Jewish High Holy Days, instead of attending synagogue and
fasting on Yom Kippur, my sister and I were taken out of school to attend family
picnics and parties in fine restaurants. When my sister and I convinced our
parents how miserable we both were at the Sunday school, they joined an
agnostic, humanist organization known as the Ethical Culture Movement.
The Ethical Culture Movement was founded late in the 19th century by Felix
Alder. While studying for rabbinate, Felix Alder grew convinced that devotion
to ethical values as relative and man-made, regarding any supernaturalism or
theology as irrelevant, constituted the only religion fit for the modern world.
I attended the Ethical Culture Sunday School each week from the age of eleven
until I graduated at fifteen. Here I grew into complete accord with the ideas
of the movement and regarded all traditional, organized religions with scorn.
When I was eighteen years old, I became a member of the local Zionist youth
movement known as the Mizrachi Hatzair. But when I found out what the nature of
Zionism was, which made the hostility between Jews and Arabs irreconcilable, I
left several months later in disgust. When I was twenty and a student at New
York University, one of my elective courses was entitled Judaism in Islam. My
professor, Rabbi Abraham Isaac Katsh, the head of the department of Hebrew
Studies there, spared no efforts to convince his students-- all Jews, many of
whom aspired to become rabbis - that Islam was derived from Judaism. Our
textbook, written by him, took each verse from the Quran, painstakingly tracing
it to its allegedly Jewish source. Although his real aim was to prove to his
students the superiority of Judaism over Islam, he convinced me diametrically of
the opposite.
I soon discovered that Zionism was merely a combination of the racist,
tribalistic aspects of Judaism. Modern secular nationalistic Zionism was
further discredited in my eyes when I learned that few, if any, of the leaders
of Zionism were observant Jews, and that perhaps nowhere is Orthodox,
traditional Judaism regarded with such intense contempt as in Israel. When I
found nearly all important Jewish leaders in America supporters for Zionism, who
felt not the slightest twinge of conscience because of the terrible injustice
inflicted upon the Palestinian Arabs, I could no longer consider myself a Jew at
heart.
One morning in November 1954, Professor Katsh, during his lecture, argued
with irrefutable logic that the monotheism taught by Moses (peace be upon him)
and the Divine Laws reveled to him were indispensable as the basis for all
higher ethical values. If morals were purely man-made, as the Ethical Culture
and other agnostic and atheistic philosophies taught, then they could be changed
at will, according to mere whim, convenience or circumstance. The result would
be utter chaos leading to individual and collective ruin. Belief in the
Hereafter, as the Rabbis in the Talmud taught, argued Professor Katsh, was not
Page 17
mere wishful thinking but a moral necessity. Only those, he said, who firmly
believed that each of us will be summoned by God on Judgment Day to render a
complete account of our life on earth and rewarded or punished accordingly, will
possess the self-discipline to sacrifice transitory pleasure and endure
hardships and sacrifice to attain lasting good.Margaret Marcus, Ex-Jew, USA
(part 2 of 5)
Description: Margaret discusses how a fellow Jewish classmate accepts Islam, and
later accepts Islam herself.
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It was in Professor Katsh’s class that I met Zenita, the most unusual and
fascinating girl I have ever met. The first time I entered Professor Katsh’s
class, as I looked around the room for an empty desk in which to sit, I spied
two empty seats, on the arm of one, three big beautifully bound volumes of Yusuf
Ali’s English translation and commentary of the Holy Quran. I sat down right
there, burning with curiosity to find out to whom these volumes belonged. Just
before Rabbi Katsh’s lecture was to begin, a tall, very slim girl with pale
complexion framed by thick auburn hair sat next to me. Her appearance was so
distinctive, I thought she must be a foreign student from Turkey, Syria or some
other Near Eastern country. Most of the other students were young men wearing
the black cap of Orthodox Jewry, who wanted to become rabbis. We two were the
only girls in the class. As we were leaving the library late that afternoon,
she introduced herself to me. Born into an Orthodox Jewish family, her parents
had migrated to America from Russia only a few years prior to the October
Revolution in 1917 to escape persecution. I noted that my new friend spoke
English with the precise care of a foreigner. She confirmed these speculations,
telling me that since her family and their friends speak only Yiddish among
themselves, she did not learn any English until after attending public school.
She told me that her name was Zenita Liebermann, but recently, in an attempt to
Americanize themselves, her parents had changed their name from “Liebermann” to
“Lane.” Besides being thoroughly instructed in Hebrew by her father while
growing up and also in school, she said she was now spending all her spare time
studying Arabic. However, with no previous warning, Zenita dropped out of
class, and although I continued to attend all of his lectures to the conclusion
of the course, Zenita never returned. Months passed and I had almost forgotten
about Zenita, when suddenly she called and begged me to meet her at the
Metropolitan Museum and go with her to look at the special exhibition of
exquisite Arabic calligraphy and ancient illuminated manuscripts of the Quran.
During our tour of the museum, Zenita told me how she had embraced Islam with
two of her Palestinian friends as witnesses.
I inquired, “Why did you decide to become a Muslim?” She then told me that
she had left Professor Katsh’s class when she fell ill with a severe kidney
infection. Her condition was so critical, she told me, her mother and father
had not expected her to survive. “One afternoon while burning with fever, I
reached for my Holy Quran on the table beside by bed and began to read and while
I recited the verses, it touched me so deeply that I began to weep and then I
knew I would recover. As soon as I was strong enough to leave my bed, I
summoned two of my Muslim friends and took the oath of the “Shahadah” or
Confession of Faith.”
Zenita and I would eat our meals in Syrian restaurants where I acquired a
keen taste for this tasty cooking. When we had money to spend, we would order
Couscous, roast lamb with rice or a whole soup plate of delicious little
meatballs swimming in gravy scooped up with loaves of unleavened Arabic bread.
And when we had little to spend, we would eat lentils and rice, Arabic style, or
the Egyptian national dish of black broad beans with plenty of garlic and onions
called “Ful”.
While Professor Katsh was lecturing thus, I was comparing in my mind what I
had read in the Old Testament and the Talmud with what was taught in the Quran
and Hadith and finding Judaism so defective, I was converted to Islam.
Q: Were you scared that you might not be accepted by the Muslims?
A: My increasing sympathy for Islam and Islamic ideals enraged the other Jews
I knew, who regarded me as having betrayed them in the worst possible way. They
used to tell me that such a reputation could only result from shame of my
ancestral heritage and an intense hatred for my people. They warned me that
even if I tried to become a Muslim, I would never be accepted. These fears
proved totally unfounded as I have never been stigmatized by any Muslim because
Page 18
of my Jewish origin. As soon as I became a Muslim myself, I was welcomed most
enthusiastically by all the Muslims as one of them.
I did not embrace Islam out of hatred for my ancestral heritage or my
people. It was not a desire so much to reject as to fulfill. To me, it meant a
transition from parochial to a dynamic and revolutionary faith.
Q: Did your family object to your studying Islam?
A: Although I wanted to become a Muslim as far back as 1954, my family
managed to argue me out of it. I was warned that Islam would complicate my life
because it is not, like Judaism and Christianity, part of the American scene. I
was told that Islam would alienate me from my family and isolate me from the
community. At that time my faith was not sufficiently strong to withstand these
pressures. Partly as the result of this inner turmoil, I became so ill that I
had to discontinue college long before it was time for me to graduate. For the
next two years I remained at home under private medical care, steadily growing
worse. In desperation from 1957 - 1959 my parents confined me both to private
and public hospitals where I vowed that if ever I recovered sufficiently to be
discharged, I would embrace Islam.
After I was allowed to return home, I investigated all the opportunities for
meeting Muslims in New York City. It was my good fortune to meet some of the
finest men and women anyone could ever hope to meet. I also began to write
articles for Muslim magazines.
Q: What was the attitude of your parents and friends after you became Muslim?
A: When I embraced Islam, my parents, relatives and their friends regarded me
almost as a fanatic, because I could think and talk of nothing else. To them,
religion is a purely private concern which at the most perhaps could be
cultivated like an amateur hobby among other hobbies. But as soon as I read the
Holy Quran, I knew that Islam was no hobby but life itself!Margaret Marcus,
Ex-Jew, USA (part 3 of 5)
Description: Margaret discusses how the Quran had impacted her life.
Q: In what ways did the Holy Quran have an impact on your life?
A: One evening I was feeling particularly exhausted and sleepless, Mother
came into my room and said she was about to go to the Larchmont Public Library
and asked me if there was any book that I wanted? I asked her to look and see
if the library had a copy of an English translation of the Holy Quran. Just
think, years of passionate interest in the Arabs and reading every book in the
library about them I could lay my hands on but until now, I never thought to see
what was in the Holy Quran! Mother returned with a copy for me. I was so
eager, I literally grabbed it from her hands and read it the whole night. There
I also found all the familiar Bible stories of my childhood.
In my eight years of primary school, four years of secondary school and one
year of college, I learned about English grammar and composition, French,
Spanish, Latin and Greek in current use, Arithmetic, Geometry, Algebra, European
and American history, elementary science, Biology, music and art--but I had
never learned anything about God! Can you imagine I was so ignorant of God that
I wrote to my pen-friend, a Pakistani lawyer, and confessed to him the reason
why I was an atheist was because I couldn’t believe that God was really an old
man with a long white beard who sat up on His throne in Heaven. When he asked
me where I had learned this outrageous thing, I told him of the reproductions
from the Sistine Chapel I had seen in “Life” Magazine of Michelangelo’s
“Creation” and “Original Sin.” I described all the representations of God as an
old man with a long white beard and the numerous crucifixions of Christ I had
seen with Paula at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. But in the Holy Quran, I
read:
“God! There is no god but He,-the Living, The Self-subsisting, Supporter of
all. No slumber can seize Him nor sleep. His are all things in the heavens and
on earth. Who is thee who can intercede in His presence except as He permiteth?
He knoweth what (appeareth to His creatures as) before or after or behind
them. Nor shall they compass aught of His knowledge except as He willeth. His
Throne doth extend over the heavens and the earth, and He feeleth no fatigue in
guarding and preserving them for He is the Most High, the Supreme (in glory).”
(Quran,2:255)
“But the Unbelievers,-their deeds are like a mirage in sandy deserts, which the
man parched with thirst mistakes for water; until when he comes up to it, he
finds God there, and God will pay him his account: and God is swift in taking
Page 19
account. Or (the unbelievers’ state) is like the depths of darkness in a vast
deep ocean, overwhelmed with billow topped by billow, topped by (dark) clouds:
depth of darkness, one above another: if a man stretches out his hand, he can
hardly see it! For any to whom God giveth not light, there is no light!”
(Quran,24: 39-40)
My first thought when reading the Holy Quran - this is the only true religion
- absolutely sincere, honest, not allowing cheap compromises or hypocrisy.
In 1959, I spent much of my leisure time reading books about Islam in the New
York Public Library. It was there I discovered four bulky volumes of an English
translation of Mishkat ul- Masabih. It was then that I learned that a proper
and detailed understanding of the Holy Quran is not possible without some
knowledge of the relevant Hadith. For how can the holy text correctly be
interpreted except by the Prophet to whom it was revealed?
Once I had studied the Mishkat, I began to accept the Holy Quran as Divine
revelation. What persuaded me that the Quran must be from God and not composed
by Muhammad (may God praise him) was its satisfying and convincing answers to
all the most important questions of life which I could not find elsewhere.
As a child, I was so mortally afraid of death, particularly the thought of my
own death, that after nightmares about it, sometimes I would awaken my parents
crying in the middle of the night. When I asked them why I had to die, and what
would happen to me after death, all they could say was that I had to accept the
inevitable; but that was a long way off and because medical science was
constantly advancing, perhaps I would live to be a hundred years old! My
parents, family, and all our friends rejected as superstition any thought of the
Hereafter, regarding Judgment Day, reward in Paradise or punishment in Hell as
outmoded concepts of by-gone ages. In vain, I searched all the chapters of the
Old Testament for any clear and unambiguous concept of the Hereafter. The
prophets, patriarchs and sages of the Bible all receive their rewards or
punishments in this world. Typical is the story of Job (Hazrat Ayub). God
destroyed all his loved-ones, his possessions, and afflicted him with a
loathsome disease in order to test his faith. Job plaintively laments to God
why He should make a righteous man suffer. At the end of the story, God
restores all his earthly losses but nothing is even mentioned about any possible
consequences in the Hereafter.Margaret Marcus, Ex-Jew, USA (part 4 of 5)
Description: Margaret continues to discuss how the Quran had impacted her life,
and her views about Jews and Arab relations.
Although I did find the Hereafter mentioned in the New Testament, compared
with that of the Holy Quran, it is vague and ambiguous. I found no answer to
the question of death in Orthodox Judaism, for the Talmud preaches that even the
worst life is better than death. My parents’ philosophy was that one must avoid
contemplating the thought of death and just enjoy, as best one can, the
pleasures life has to offer at the moment. According to them, the purpose of
life is enjoyment and pleasure achieved through self-expression of one’s
talents, the love of family, the congenial company of friends combined with the
comfortable living and indulgence in the variety of amusements that affluent
America makes available in such abundance. They deliberately cultivated this
superficial approach to life as if it were the guarantee for their continued
happiness and good-fortune. Through bitter experience I discovered that
self-indulgence leads only to misery, and that nothing great or even worthwhile
is ever accomplished without struggle through adversity and self-sacrifice.
From my earliest childhood, I have always wanted to accomplish important and
significant things. Above all else, before my death, I wanted the assurance
that I have not wasted life in sinful deeds or worthless pursuits. All my life
I have been intensely serious-minded. I have always detested the frivolity
which is the dominant characteristic of contemporary culture. My father once
disturbed me with his unsettling conviction that there is nothing of permanent
value because everything in this modern age accept the present trends inevitable
and adjust ourselves to them. I, however, was thirsty to attain something that
would endure forever. It was from the Holy Quran where I learned that this
aspiration was possible. No good deed for the sake of seeking the pleasure of
God is ever wasted or lost. Even if the person concerned never achieves any
worldly recognition, his reward is certain in the Hereafter. Conversely, the
Quran tells us that those who are guided by no moral considerations other than
expediency or social conformity, and crave the freedom to do as they please, no
Page 20
matter how much worldly success and prosperity they attain or how keenly they
are able to relish the short span of their earthly life, they will be doomed as
the losers on Judgment Day. Islam teaches us that in order to devote our
exclusive attention to fulfilling our duties to God and to our fellow-beings, we
must abandon all vain and useless activities which distract us from this end.
These teachings of the Holy Quran, made even more explicit by Hadith, were
thoroughly compatible with my temperament.
Q: What is your opinion of the Arabs after you became a Muslim?
A: As the years passed, the realization gradually dawned upon me that it was
not the Arabs who made Islam great but rather Islam had made the Arabs great.
Were it not for the Holy Prophet Muhammad, the Arabs would be an obscure people
today. And were it not for the Holy Quran, the Arabic language would be equally
insignificant, if not extinct.
Q: Did you see any similarities between Judaism and Islam?
A: The kinship between Judaism and Islam is even stronger than Islam and
Christianity. Both Judaism and Islam share in common the same uncompromising
monotheism, the crucial importance of strict obedience to Divine Law as proof of
our submission to and love of the Creator, the rejection of the priesthood,
celibacy and monasticism and the striking similarity of the Hebrew and Arabic
language.
In Judaism, religion is so confused with nationalism, one can scarcely
distinguish between the two. The name “Judaism” is derived from Judah - a
tribe. A Jew is a member of the tribe of Judah. Even the name of this religion
connotes no universal spiritual message. A Jew is not a Jew by virtue of his
belief in the unity of God, but merely because he happened to be born of Jewish
parentage. Should he become an outspoken atheist, he is no less “Jewish” in the
eyes of his fellow Jews.
Such a thorough corruption with nationalism has spiritually impoverished this
religion in all its aspects. God is not the God of all mankind, but the God of
Israel. The scriptures are not God’s revelation to the entire human race, but
primarily a Jewish history book. David and Solomon (peace be upon them) are not
full-fledged prophets of God but merely Jewish kings. With the single exception
of Yom Kippur (the Jewish Day of Atonement), the holidays and festivals
celebrated by Jews, such as Hanukkah, Purim and Pesach, are of far greater
national than religious significance.Margaret Marcus, Ex-Jew, USA (part 5 of
5)
Description: Talking to Jews about Islam, and the impact of Islam on Margaret’s
life.
Q: Have you ever had the opportunity to talk about Islam to the other Jews?
A: There is one particular incident which really stands out in my mind when I
had the opportunity to discuss Islam with a Jewish gentleman. Dr. Shoreibah, of
the Islamic Center in New York, introduced me to a very special guest. After
one Juma Salat, I went into his office to ask him some questions about Islam,
but before I could even greet him with “Assalamu Alaikum”, I was completely
astonished and surprised to see seated before him an ultra-orthodox Chassidic
Jew, complete with earlocks, broad-brimmed black hat, long black silken caftan
and a full flowing beard. Under his arm was a copy of the Yiddish newspaper,
“The Daily Forward.” He told us that his name was Samuel Kostelwitz, and that
he worked in New York City as a diamond cutter. Most of his family, he said,
lived in the Chassidic community of Williamsburg in Brooklyn, but he also had
many relatives and friends in Israel. Born in a small Rumanian town, he had
fled from the Nazi terror with his parents to America just prior to the outbreak
of the second world-war. I asked him what had brought him to the mosque. He
told us that he had been stricken with intolerable grief ever since his mother
died 5 years ago. He had tried to find solace and consolation for his grief in
the synagogue but could not when he discovered that many of the Jews, even in
the ultra-orthodox community of Williamsburg, were shameless hypocrites. His
recent trip to Israel had left him more bitterly disillusioned than ever. He
was shocked by the irreligiousness he found in Israel, and he told us that
nearly all the young sabras, or native-born Israelis, are militant atheists.
When he saw large herds of swine on one of the kibbutzim (collective farms) he
visited, he could only exclaim in horror: “Pigs in a Jewish state! I never
thought that was possible until I came here! Then, when I witnessed the brutal
treatment meted out to innocent Arabs in Israel, I know then that there is no
Page 21
difference between the Israelis and the Nazis. Never, never in the name of God,
could I justify such terrible crimes!” Then he turned to Dr. Shoreibah and told
him that he wanted to become a Muslim but before he took the irrevocable steps
to formal conversion, he needed to have more knowledge about Islam. He said
that he had purchased from Orientalia Bookshop some books on Arabic grammar and
was trying to teach himself Arabic. He apologized to us for his broken English:
Yiddish was his native tongue and Hebrew, his second language. Among
themselves, his family and friends spoke only Yiddish. Since his reading
knowledge of English was extremely poor, he had no access to good Islamic
literature. However, with the aid of an English dictionary, he painfully read
“Introduction to Islam” by Muhammad Hamidullah of Paris and praised this as the
best book he had ever read. In the presence of Dr. Shoreibah, I spent another
hour with Mr. Kostelwitz, comparing the Bible stories of the patriarchs and
prophets with their counterparts in the Holy Quran. I pointed out the
inconsistencies and interpolations of the Bible, illustrating my point with
Noah’s alleged drunkenness, accusing David of adultery and Solomon of idolatry
(God Forbid), and how the Holy Quran raises all these patriarchs to the status
of genuine prophets of God and absolves them from all these crimes. I also
pointed out why it was Ismail and not Isaac who God commanded Abraham to offer
as sacrifice. In the Bible, God tells Abraham: “Take thine son, thine only son
whom thou lovest and offer him up to Me as burnt offering.” Now Ismail was born
13 years before Isaac but the Jewish biblical commentators explain that away be
belittling Ismail’s mother, Hagar, as only a concubine and not Abraham’s real
wife, so they say Isaac was the only legitimate son. Islamic traditions,
however, raise Hagar to the status of a full-fledged wife equal in every respect
to Sarah. Mr. Kostelwitz expressed his deepest gratitude to me for spending so
much time, explaining those truths to him. To express this gratitude, he
insisted on inviting Dr. Shoreibah and me to lunch at the Kosher Jewish
delicatessen where he always goes to eat his lunch. Mr. Kostelwitz told us that
he wished more than anything else to embrace Islam, but he feared he could not
withstand the persecution he would have to face from his family and friends. I
told him to pray to God for help and strength and he promised that he would.
When he left us, I felt privileged to have spoken with such a gentle and kind
person.
Q: What Impact did Islam have on your life?
A: In Islam, my quest for absolute values was satisfied. In Islam, I found
all that was true, good and beautiful and that which gives meaning and direction
to human life (and death); while in other religions, the Truth is deformed,
distorted, restricted and fragmentary. If any one chooses to ask me how I came
to know this, I can only reply my personal life experience was sufficient to
convince me. My adherence to the Islamic faith is thus a calm, cool but very
intense conviction. I have, I believe, always been a Muslim at heart by
temperament, even before I knew there was such a thing as Islam. My conversion
was mainly a formality, involving no radical change in my heart at all but
rather only making official what I had been thinking and yearning for many
years.
Zainab, Ex-Christian, USA (part 1 of 2)
Description: A young girl involves herself greatly with Christianity but still
feels something missing.
By Zainab - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 01 Oct 2006
This is a very long, detailed description of the topics I am most questioned

about; my spiritual life, my conversion, my familial response to my conversion,
and my future plans in Islam.
“No, a guy did not convert me”
My Spiritual Life:
I have been enamored with God since I was young. Like many children, I would
stare into the clouds or stars and wonder who, what, where, why, and how was
God. Trying to verify His presence, I would set up quasi-experiments to find
proof. For instance, setting a glass on a table, and ask God to move it, to
prove His existence. With no result, I would vary the object, time, and tried
not watching (maybe God did not want me to see Him move it?). Another time, I
tested different methods of prayer to see which ones “worked.” Among many other
things, I tried praying on my face, on my knees, standing up, lying down,
closing my eyes, having good posture, straightening my fingers, begging Him,
offering a sacrifice, i.e., “God if you help me get a bicycle, I will never eat
Page 22
ice cream again.” After a while, I realized that if God did what I asked Him to
do to prove Himself to me, or if there was a prayer method that guaranteed my
desired result, then I would have been God, not He.
I was raised as a Christian, and as I grew up, I would go to different church
denominations and ask the ministers how they knew, for sure, that God existed.
Now, I would think, that this would be the question they are asked most often,
but as it turns out, they are almost never asked this question, and even more
surprisingly, for the most part, they do not appear to like being asked this
question. Eventually, I met a pastor who was not afraid of this question, who,
in fact, loved it, and who enjoyed and appreciated the genuine honesty of a
searching soul. He was an intellectual - Rice University - Suma Cum Laude, but,
more importantly, he was a highly spiritual individual. He answered every
question I ever had, introduced me to many spiritual theories and principles,
and helped me transform my prayer life from the childish behavior of asking God
for everything, as if my prayers were a holiday presents wish list, into the
more mature meditative prayer and follower that listens for God’s guidance and
follows His direction. My life was blessed by having known both he and his
wife.
I began teaching Sunday School to children when I was age sixteen. I love
teaching children about God more than any other activity in the world, and
believe that through God, this is my best talent. I have many funny stories
about my experiences in teaching, however, if I go into it now, this already too
lengthy page will be even longer.
A year later, I was asked to begin Christian Leadership Training. It was a
very valuable experience, because besides learning additional worthwhile
spiritual principles, I learned what pastors are taught in terms of the
strengths and weaknesses of the argument for Christianity. This gives me a
uniquely strong basis for arguing Islam over Christianity.
The next year, I was asked to serve on a Healing Ministries Team to aid those
going through physical, spiritual, or emotional difficulty. I felt very
fortunate to serve in this capacity because I was surrounded by the best people,
in the best church that I had ever attended. I was much younger and
inexperienced than the rest of the group and completely out of my league. Yet I
stayed with it, because they possessed a knowledge that I desired. I always
wanted to know “what to say,” and “what not to say,” to those in dire
circumstances. I decide that unless the rest of the team figured out that I was
in over my head, I was not going to tell them. Once again, I felt my life had
been undeservedly blessed by getting to hang out and learn from those I most
admired. Sometimes though, since I was not even close to their advanced level,
I would look around the room and start thinking of the song from “Sesame
Street,”
“One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just
doesn’t belong.”
I also have many funny and interesting stories from working on this Healing
Team, but again, it would make this much longer.
At some point, I began to consider my fellow team members - the people I
thought the most spiritually elite and wise. Although they were superior to me
in every way, I thought to myself that they were not where I would like to be
when I reach their age. I perceived a distance from God in Christianity. I
discussed this with my pastor, stating that I wanted to develop my relationship
with God. He suggested I might try praying more often during the day,
mentioning that Muslims pray five times daily which is suppose to aid in this
matter. Of course he was not trying to peek my interest in Islam. Yet he did.
I had other difficulties with Christianity. The concept that heaven can only
be obtained through having Jesus as your Savior with good and bad deeds having
no relevance in the scheme of things, was an idea that always defied common
sense to me. Theoretically, in Christianity, a person who sins all day, every
day of his life, will go to heaven if he accepts Jesus as his Savior, one second
before he dies. The man that does all good, every day of his life, who does not
accept Jesus as his Savior in his lifetime, is sentenced to eternal hell. How
much sense does that make? There are many additional problems with
Christianity, but I will not go into them at this point.Zainab, Ex-Christian,
USA (part 2 of 2)
Description: Zainab finds more in common with Muslims friends than Christians,
and finally decides to read about Islam.
By Zainab - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 31 Jul 2006
Page 23
I was also involved in Christian Student Ministries. I always preferred
having Christian to non-Christian friends because we thought more alike. And,
although I had many nice Christian girlfriends, I also felt a lack of closeness
with them because of a difference in opinion as to what constituted Godly
living, as far as, dating, alcohol, clubbing, etc. I was constantly asked if
there was something wrong with me and made fun of when I turned down invitations
to clubs, drinking, etc. It made me feel terrible inside.
One day, I met several Muslim sisters, and I felt an instant kinship, unlike
any I had previously held. Like myself, they did not date, swear, drink, and
the long list of other common vices. It was such a great feeling to meet
others, with whom I held so much agreement about so many matters. I was
surprised to learn that there was any other person on the planet so similar to
myself. I had no idea such a creature existed.
Since this was the second time Muslims had been brought to my attention, I
decided that I should at least investigate Islam, so I called a Mosque and went
to it for direction. I was given a copy of the Quran, and so I started to
read. Slowly my focus began to shift from Christianity to Islam. At first I
stopped teaching the “Christ as Savior” part in my Sunday School lessons, and
opted for morality lessons each week. However, soon I was not able to look the
children in the eyes when I taught because I felt I was a hypocrite to them and
their parents, who were expecting me to be a Christian role model.
Next, during my prayer, I felt that God was guiding me to stop teaching
Sunday School, and go to different churches on Sundays and study church growth.
For instance, when two churches are located on the same street, why does one
have 50 members, and one have 5000 members? At the time it made no sense to me
to do this, but I felt strongly urged by God to do this, and I had learned that
if you are sure God is guiding you in a certain direction, and you are positive
it is God and not your own instinct or desire, than you had better do it if you
want to have the best life. I have ignored His guidance in the past and failed
too many times. (More funny stories there for another time.)
I did not discuss Islam with anybody, because I felt I was betraying all my
Christian family and friends, and I did not even discuss it with my Muslim
girlfriends because I did not want my decision to have any pressure applied.
Slowly, without my actually realizing it, I began to shift my beliefs from
Christianity and towards Islam. It was not a quick or easy transformation,
because my whole foundation of life was Christian based, yet, it, nonetheless,
transformed.
One day, a Muslim friend at school had asked me what I enjoyed doing when I
was not at school. I told her that my very favorite activity was teaching
Sunday School. She asked me where I taught, and I told her I was not teaching
anywhere. She asked, if that was my favorite thing to do, why I was not doing
it? It was at this point that I realized that had changed, without my even
realizing it had been taking place. I knew I would never go back to teaching
Sunday School, because I was no longer Christian, but instead, maybe, possibly,
Muslim. My beliefs were now solidly Islamic. It was one of the hardest things
I ever had to admit to, I guess I was somehow hoping that I would eventually
turn back to Christianity so that my life would be easier, but it had not. So I
slowly replied to her, that I did not believe in Christianity any more, stunned
and sad at this realization. It was very hard to utter those words. She asked
why, so I explained that I had been reading the Quran and believed in its
contents, as opposed to those contained in the Bible. She asked, “So, are you
Muslim?” I said, “I do not actually know what defines someone as a Muslim.”
She asked me a number of questions about my beliefs, and then told me that I
was a Muslim, and that I only needed to convert. I asked how a person converts,
so she said you just need to repeat these words after me, and so I did. So, I
experienced the death of my Christianity, and the birth of my Islam in a few
minutes time. Needless to say, this moment is etched into my brain permanently,
InshaAllah [God-willing].
I was so excited, but I had to be positive, that what I thought had happened
actually did happen. I did not want to make a wishy-washy decision about this
conversion, i.e., be Muslim one day, and Christian the next, Muslim the day
after, and back to Christianity, so I made appointments with four Imams to find
out exactly what it meant to be Muslim, concluding with the same realization
that I was Muslim.
In the following month, I was overwhelmed with the sense that I was home. I
felt that what I had been looking for all my life had been found, and for the
first time I was home where I belonged. Often, I feel as though I was always a
Muslim, but God decided that I best served His interest by being born into a
Page 24
Christian environment, as it places me in a position to serve Him from a much
different angle than the born and raised Muslim. There are many things I have
to learn from my Muslim brothers and sisters, yet there are many areas where
Muslims can learn from those raised as Christian. InshaAllah, I hope I never
forget the day that I converted, because once I did, the world suddenly looked
different as if everything was suddenly in color. I know that sounds so silly,
but that is the only way I know to describe the change I experienced. Things
looked different, smelled different, sounded different, etc. I really cannot
put it into words.
Angel, Ex-Christian, USA
Description: From a broken family and society, a woman finds support from some
Muslim friends.
By Angel - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 31 Jul 2006
Every Muslim has a story about their journey to Islam. Each one is
interesting and curious to me. God truly guides who he wants and only who he
wants. I feel so blessed to have been one of the chosen. Here is my story.
I always believed in one God. My entire life during hardship, I asked God
for help even as a child. I remember crying on my knees in the kitchen,
screaming and crying all around me. I was praying for God to make it stop.
Religion on the other hand never did make sense. The older I got, the less it
really made sense to me. People thinking they were the negotiator between you
and God.
I felt the same about Jesus, [may God praise him]. How does it work that
this man would save us all from our sins? Why do we have the right to sin just
because of him? I refused the bible in all of its versions, believing something
translated and rewritten so many times could not to be the real words of God.
Around the age of fifteen I had given up on the idea of finding God.
Growing up, my family was the average American family. Everyone I knew had
similar problems growing up. My dad was a hardworking blue collar alcoholic.
As time progressed his condition worsened, and so did his perversion. Sexual
abuse, physical abuse, and fear made an imprint on my childhood that would
reflect the rest of my life. He passed away when I was in the sixth grade. My
parents had divorced by then. I was the youngest of eight children. My mother
would go to work to support us, and I was home alone a lot.
Here I was, one of those kids who pull from society, who scare people when
they walk into a room. I began wearing black clothing and the dark makeup. I
listened to the gothic music and fantasized about death. Death seemed to be
less of fear and more of solution to this growing problem. I felt alone all
time, even around friends. I tried to fill the gap with cigarettes, then
alcohol, sex, drugs and then anything that would take me from my own thoughts.
I tried to kill myself at least fifteen times. No matter what I tried this pain
inside of me never seemed to subside.
I was in college when I became pregnant with my son, I feared for my son’s
health and could not dream of giving him away. I worked endlessly to provide
for my son. Squeezing all the pain and anger into my heart, I changed my life
some. By this time, I trusted no one. Three years later, I started to date
again. I got engaged. I truly wanted to have the something more. As with all
of my past experiences, my world came crashing down. I was 25 and pregnant with
my daughter and ended the relationship with my fiancé after he repeatedly
cheated and physically hurt me. I had no idea what was next.
During this time I was working for a Pakistani guy who was Muslim. I never
watched the news or even cared really what was going on. Being Muslim to me was
no different than any other religion. As time moved on I became friends with
several Muslim men. I began to notice something dramatically different. They
had these unquestionable morals. A devotion to God in a way that required them
to pray five times a day. Let alone the fact that they did not drink or do
drugs. For my generation this was old school morals, maybe your grandparents
might have followed.
When my daughter was born, you can’t imagine my surprise when one of these
guys came in and brought gifts. I was shocked stupid he held her and spoke to
her. I had never seen men behave this way over a baby. The kindness only
increased with time over the next four months. I can’t express the love that
was shown to us. Slowly my interest in their religion grew. I was curious as
to what kind of religion could instill these kinds of values into people.
I was sharing a home with seven people when one night I decided to borrow my
Page 25
roommate’s computer. I was too afraid to offend my friends by asking them
questions, so I turned to the internet. The first site I opened was
http://www.islam-brief-guide.org. I was dumb founded. It was if a black cloth
had been lifted from my body, and I swear to you that I had never felt so close
to God. Within twenty-four hours, I took my Shahadah.
To this day the majority of my time is spent on research. For the first time
in my life something had stopped the anger, and the pain. I truly felt the love
and fear of God. God had replaced the pain inside of me with his light, and
faith in him. Since my conversion, God has truly blessed me. God gave me the
strength to quite smoking, drinking and have not used drugs in almost two
years. I am married to a wonderful Muslim man. He has taken my children and
made them ours. I have something that I always wanted - a family, [all praise
is due to God].
Noor, Ex-Hindu, UK (part 1 of 2)
Description: Pondering the status of women in today’s society leads Noor to
accept Islam.
By Noor - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 15 Oct 2006
I came from a purely Hindu family where we were always taught to regard
ourselves (i.e. women) as beings who were eventually to be married off and have
children and serve the husband - whether he was kind or not. Other than this, I
found that there were a lot of things which really oppressed women, such as:
If a woman was widowed, she would always have to wear a white sari (costume),
eat vegetarian meals, cut her hair short, and never re-marry. The bride always
had to pay the dowry (bridal money) to the husband’s family. And the husband
could ask for anything, irrespective of whether the bride would have difficulty
giving it.
Not only that, if, after marriage, she was not able to pay the full dowry,
she would be both emotionally and physically tortured, and could end up being a
victim of “kitchen death” where the husband, or both the mother-in-law and the
husband, try to set fire to the wife while she is cooking or is in the kitchen
and try to make it look like an accidental death. More and more of these
instances are taking place. The daughter of a friend of my own father’s had the
same fate last year!
In addition to all this, men in Hinduism are treated literally as among the
gods. In one of the religious Hindu celebrations, unmarried girls pray for and
worship an idol representing a particular god (Shira) so that they may have
husbands like him. Even my own mother had asked me to do this. This made me
see that the Hindu religion, which is based on superstitions and things that
have no manifest proof but were merely traditions which oppressed women, could
not be right.
Subsequently, when I came to England to study, I thought that at least this
is a country which gives equal rights to men and women and does not oppress
them. We all have the freedom to do as we like, I thought. Well, as I started
to meet people and make new friends, learn about this new society, and go to all
the places my friends went to in order to “socialize” (bars, dance halls,
etc.), I realized that this “equality” was not so true in practice as it was in
theory.
Outwardly, women were seen to be given equal rights in education, work, and
so forth, but in reality women were still oppressed in a different, more subtle
way. When I went with my friends to those places they hung out at, I found
everybody interested to talk to me, and I thought that was normal. But it was
only later that I realized how naïve I was and recognized what these people were
really looking for. I soon began to feel uncomfortable, as if I was not myself:
I had to dress in a certain way so that people would like me, and had to talk in
a certain way to please them. I soon found that I was feeling more and more
uncomfortable, less and less myself, yet I could not get out. Everybody was
saying they were enjoying themselves, but I don’t call this enjoying.
I think women in this way of life are oppressed: they have to dress in a
certain way in order to please and appear more appealing and also talk in a
certain way so people like them. During this time, I had not thought about
Islam, even though I had some Muslim acquaintances. But I felt I really had to
do something to find something that I would be happy and secure with and would
feel respected with. Something to believe in that is the right belief, because
everybody has a belief that they live according to. If having fun by getting
off with other people is someone’s belief, they do this. If making money is
Page 26
someone’s belief, they do everything to achieve this. If they believe drinking
is one way to enjoy life then they do it. But I feel all this leads to nowhere;
no one is truly satisfied, and the respect women are looking for is diminishing
in this way.Noor, Ex-Hindu, UK (part 2 of 2)
Description: Noor explains how Islam has raised her status as a woman.
By Noor - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 02 Feb 2006
In these days of so called “society of equal rights”, you are expected to
have a boyfriend (or you’re weird!) and to not be a virgin. So this is a form
of oppression even though some women do not realize it. When I came to Islam,
it was obvious that I had finally found permanent security. A religion, a
belief that was so complete and clear in every aspect of life. Many people have
a misconception that Islam is an oppressive religion, where women are covered
from head to toe and are not allowed any freedom or rights. In fact, women in
Islam are given more rights, and have been for the past 1400 years compared to
the only-recently rights given to non-Muslim women in some western and some
other societies. But there are, even now, societies where women are still
oppressed, as I mentioned earlier in relation to Hindu women.
Muslim women have the right to inheritance. They have the right to run their
own trade and business. They have the full right to ownership, property,
disposal over their wealth to which the husband has no right. They have the
right to education, a right to refuse marriage as long as this refusal is
according to reasonable and justifiable grounds. The Quran itself, which is the
Word of God, contains many verses commanding men to be kind to their wives and
stressing the rights of women. Islam gives the right set of rules, because they
are NOT made by men, but made by God; hence it is a perfect religion.
Quite often Muslim women are asked why they are covered from head to toe and
are told that this is oppression - it is not. In Islam, marriage is an
important part of life, the making of the society. Therefore, a woman should
not go around showing herself to everybody, only for her husband. Even the man
is not allowed to show certain parts of his body to none but his wife. In
addition, God has commanded Muslim women to cover themselves for their modesty:
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers
to draw their cloaks (veils) over their bodies (when outdoors). That is most
convenient that they could be known as such (i.e. decent and chaste) and not
molested.” (Quran 33:59)
If we look around at any other society, we find that in the majority of
cases, women are attacked and molested because of how they are dressed. Another
point I’d like to comment on is that the rules and regulation laid down in Islam
by God do not apply just to women but to men also. There is no intermingling
and free-running between men and women for the benefit of both. Whatever God
commands is right, wholesome, pure and beneficial to mankind; there is no doubt
about that. A verse in the Quran explains this concept clearly:
“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and protect their
private parts (i.e. from indecency, illegal sexual acts, etc.); that will make
for greater purity for them. And God is well aware of what they do. And say to
the believing women that they should lower their gaze and protect their private
parts (from indecency, illegal sexual intercourse, etc.); and that they should
not display their beauty and ornaments.” (Quran 24:31)
When I put on my hijab (veil), I was really happy to do it. In fact, I really
want to do it. When I put on the hijab, I felt a great sense of satisfaction and
happiness: satisfied that I had obeyed God’s command, and happy with the good
and blessings that come with it. I have felt secure and protected. In fact
people respect me more for it. I could really see the difference in behavior
towards me.
Finally, I’d like to say that I had accepted Islam not blindly, or under any
compulsion. In the Quran itself there is a verse which says
“Let there be no compulsion in religion.” (Quran 2:256)
I accepted Islam with conviction. I have seen, been there, done that, and
seen both sides of the story. I know and have experienced what the other side
is like, and I know that I have done the right thing. Islam does not oppress
women, but rather Islam liberates them and gives them the respect they deserve.
Islam is the religion God has chosen for the whole of mankind. Those who accept
it are truly liberated from the chains and shackles of mankind, whose ruling and
legislating necessitates nothing but the oppression of one group by another and
the exploitation and oppression of one sex by the other. This is not the case
Page 27
of Islam which truly liberated women and gave them an individuality not given by
any other authority.
Steinmann, Ex-No-Religion, UK
Description: One persons reasons for accepting Islam in relation to statements
made by certain renowned individuals.
By Steinmann - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 27 Aug 2006
No other religion professed by a large community have I found so
comprehensible and encouraging. There seems no better way towards tranquility
of mind and contentment in life, no greater promise for the future after death.
The human being is part of a whole; man cannot claim more than being just a
particle of creation in its magnificent perfection. As such, he can only
fulfill his purpose of living by carrying out his function in relating himself
to the whole and to other living parts. It is the harmonious relationship
between the parts and the whole that makes life purposeful, that can bring it
nearest to perfection, that helps a human being to achieve contentment and
happiness.
What place does religion occupy in this relationship between Creator and
creation? Here are some people’s opinions on religion.
“A man’s religion is the chief fact with regard to him; the thing a man does
practically believe ... the thing a man does practically lay to heart, and know
for certain, concerning his vital relations to this Universe, and his duty and
destiny there ... that is religion.” (Carlyle Heroes and Hero-worship)
“Religion is the sense of ultimate reality of whatever meaning a man finds in
his own existence or the existence of anything else.” (G. K. Chesterton, Come To
Think of It)
“Religion a daughter of hope and fear explaining to ignorance the nature of
the Unknowable.” (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary)
“The body of all true religion consists to be sure, in obedience to the will
of the Sovereign of the world, in a confidence in His declarations, and in
imitation of His perfection.” (Edmund Burke, Reflections on the Revolution in
France)
“All religion relates to life, and the life of religion is to do good.”
(Swedenborg, Doctrine of Life)
“Every man, either to his terror or consolation, has some sense of religion.”
(James Harrington, Oceana)
At one time or another every human being is confronted with the Unknown,
Incomprehensible, with the purpose of his existence. Questioning himself he
creates a belief, a conviction --- ‘Religion’ in its widest sense.
Why do I consider Islam as the most perfect religion?
First and foremost, it acquaints us with the Whole, the Creator:
“In the name of God, the Beneficent, the Merciful; Say: He, God, is one, God is
He on Whom all depend; He begets not, nor is He begotten; and there is none
similar to Him.” (Quran 112:1-4)
“To God is your return and He is Possessor over all things.” (Quran 11:4)
“I, God, am the best Knower.” (Quran 2:1)
Again and again throughout the Quran we are reminded of the Oneness of the
Creator, “Indivisible”, “Eternal”, “Infinite”, “Almighty”, “All-Knowing”, the
“All Just”, the “Helper”, the “Merciful”, the “Compassionate.” So the Whole
becomes a reality; again and again we are asked to establish a satisfactory
relationship between Him and us;
“Know that God gives life to the earth after its death. We have made messages
clear to you that you may understand.” (Quran 57:17)
“Say I seek refuge with the Nourisher of mankind.” (Quran 114:1)
One might argue that in order to recognize and believe in God and to live
happily in a community, it is necessary to believe in Divine messages. Does not
a father guide his children? Does he not organize his family’s life so that it
may live together harmoniously?
Islam claims to be the only true religion that rehabilitates the truth of its
predecessors. It claims that the guidance provided by the Quran is clear,
comprehensible and reasonable. By guiding our way towards achievement of a
satisfactory relationship between the Creator and the created, it brings about a
co-operation between physical and spiritual forces enabling us to equalize
internal and external forces in order to be at peace within ourselves - the most
important factor to establish a harmonious state between one living part and
another and an important condition towards our striving for perfection.
Page 28
Christianity stresses the spiritual side of life; it teaches a love that puts
a heavy burden of responsibility upon every Christian. The perfect love is
doomed to failure if its achievement does not lie within the reach of human
nature and contradicts reason and understanding. Only someone who has a deep
knowledge of human conflicts and combines it with sympathy, understanding and a
sense of responsibility may come near to the perfection of the Christian
principle - and, even, then, he will have to bury his reason with his love.
S.T. Coleridge says in his Aids To Reflection: “He who begins by loving
Christianity better than Truth will proceed by loving his own sect of Church
better than Christianity, and end in loving himself better than all.”
Islam teaches us to respect God, to submit to His laws entitling and
encouraging us to use our reason as well as our emotions of love and
understanding. The commandments of the Quran, the message of God for His
creatures, regardless of race, nation or social standard:
“Say: O people, the Truth has indeed come to you from your Lord; so whoever goes
aright, goes aright only for the good of his own soul; and whoever errs, errs
only against it. And I am not a custodian over you.” (Quran 10:108)
No other religion professed by a large community have I found so
comprehensible and encouraging. There seems no better way towards tranquility
and contentment in life, no greater promise for the future after death.
Kristin, Ex-Catholic, USA (part 1 of 2)
Description: A former Christian discusses the things she found illogical with
Christianity and her interest in Judaism.
By Kristin - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 20 Aug 2006
My search for a religion began in high school when I was 15 or 16 yrs old. I
had been associating with a bad group of people whom I thought were my friends,
but in time I realized these people were losers. I saw what direction their
lives were heading in, and it wasn’t a good one. I didn’t want these people to
have any affect on my success for the future, so I cut myself off from them
completely. It was hard in the beginning because I was alone without friends.
I started to look for something to associate myself with and something that I
could rely on and base my life on....something that no person could ever use to
destroy my future with. Naturally, I turned to seeking God. Finding out who
God was and what the truth was wasn’t easy, however. What was the truth
anyway?! This was my primary question as I began my search for a religion.
In my own family, there have been many shifts of religion. My family has
Jews and a few kinds of Christianity in it, and now, Alhumdulilah (all praise is
for God) Islam.
When my Mom and Dad were married, they felt the need to decide what faith to
bring there children up in. Since the Catholic Church was really the only
option for them (our town just has 600 people) they both converted to
Catholicism and raised my sister and I as Catholics. Going back through the
stories of conversions in my own family, it seems that they are all conversions
of convenience. I don’t think they were truly seeking God, but just
manipulating religion as the means to achieving an end. Even after all these
changes in the past, religion was never of extreme importance for my Mom, Dad,
sister or I. If anything, ours was the family you saw at church during
Christmas time and Easter. I always felt that religion was something separate
from my life, 6 days a week or life and one day a week for church, on the rare
occasions when I did go. In other words, I wasn’t conscious of God or how to
live according to His teachings on a day to day basis.
I didn’t accept some Catholic practices including:
1) Confessions to a priest: I thought why couldn’t I just confess to God
without having to go through a man to get to Him?
2) The “Perfect” Pope- How can a mere man, not even a prophet, be perfect?!
3) The worship of saints- wasn’t this a direct violation of the first
commandment? Even after 14 years of forced Sunday school attendance, the
answers I received to these questions and others were, “You just have to have
faith!!” Should I have faith because someone TOLD me to?! I thought faith
should be based on the truth and answers that appealed to logic, I was
interested to find some.
I didn’t want the truth of my parents, or friends, or anyone else. I wanted
God’s truth. I wanted every idea I held to be true to me because I believed it
entirely, heart and soul. I decided if I was to find the answers to my
questions, I would have to search with an objective mind, and I began to read...
Page 29
I decided that Christianity was not the religion for me. I didn’t have
anything personal with Christians, but I found that the religion itself
contained many inconsistencies, especially when I read the Bible. In the Bible,
the inconsistencies I came across and the things that made no sense at all were
so numerous that I actually felt embarrassed that I had never questioned them
before or even noticed them!
Since some people in my family are Jewish, I started to research Judaism. I
thought to myself the answer may be there. So for about a year I did research
on anything concerning Judaism, I mean in DEPTH research!! Everyday I tried to
read and learn something (I still know about Orthodox Jewish kosher laws!). I
went to the library and checked out every book on Judaism within a two month
period, looked up info. On the internet, went to the synagogue, talked with
other Jewish people in nearby towns and read the Torah and Talmud. I even had
one of my Jewish friends come visit me from Israel! I thought maybe I had found
what I was looking for. Yet, the day I was supposed to go the synagogue and
meet with the rabbi about possibly making my conversion official, I backed out.
I honestly don’t know what stopped me from leaving the house that day, but I
just stopped as I was about to go out the door and went back in and sat down. I
felt like I was in one of those dreams where you try to run but everything is in
slow motion. I knew the rabbi was there and waiting for me, but I didn’t even
call to say I was coming. The rabbi didn’t call me either. Something was
missing...
After learning that Judaism was also not the answer, I thought (also after
much pressure from my parents) to give Christianity one more try. I had, as I
said, a good background in the technicalities from my years of Sunday schools,
but I was more concerned with finding the truth behind the technicalities. What
was the beauty of it all, where was the security of it and how I could accept it
logically? I knew if I were to seriously consider Christianity, Catholicism was
out. I went to every other Christian church in my town, Lutheran, Pentecostal,
Latter Day Saints (Mormon), and non-denominational churches. I didn’t find what
I was looking for - answers!! It wasn’t the environment of the people which
turned me away; it was the discrepancies between denominations which disturbed
me. I believed there had to be one right way, so how could I possibly chose the
“right” denomination? In my estimation it was impossible and unfair for a
Compassionate and Merciful God to leave mankind with such a choice. I was
lost...Kristin, Ex-Catholic, USA (part 2 of 2)
Description: After being introduced t Islam in a chat room, Kristin finds
herself crying while reading the Quran in a library while researching the
religion.
By Kristin - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 02 Feb 2006
At this point I was just as confused and frustrated as when I began my
search. I felt like throwing up my arms to God and shouting, “What now?” I
wasn’t a Jew, I wasn’t a Christian; I was just a person who believed in one
God. I thought of giving up organized religion all together. All I wanted was
the truth, I didn’t care what holy book it came from; I just wanted it.
One day I was reading on the internet and decided to take a break and find a
chat room. I noticed a “religion chat”, which of course I was interested in, so
I clicked on it. I saw a room called “Muslim chat”. Should I go in? I was
hoping no terrorists would gain access to my e-mail and send me computer viruses
- or worse. Images of huge men dressed in black with big beards coming to the
door and kidnapping me flashed in my brain. (You can tell how much I knew about
Islam - zero!) But then I thought, C’mon, this is just an innocent
investigation. I decided to go in and noticed that the people in this room
weren’t as scary as I had imagined they would be. In fact, most of them called
each other “brother” or “sister” even if they had just met! I said hi to
everyone and told them to fill me in on the basics of Islam - which I knew
nothing about. What they had to say was interesting and coincided with what I
already believed. Some people offered to send me books so I said okay. (By the
way, I never did get any viruses and no men showed up at my door to take me
away, except my husband but I went willingly!)
When I logged off the chat, I went directly to the library and checked out
every book on Islam, just as I had done with Judaism. Now I was interested to
read and learn more. Before I could even get the huge stack of books home, I
wanted to look through a few. This was a turning point for me.... The first
few I looked through explained the basics in more detail, some were scholarly
Page 30
and some had pictures of huge beautiful mosques with women in scarves. Luckily
I also checked out a Quran...I opened it up at random and began to read. The
language was what hit me first, I felt an authority talking to me, not a man
talking as I had with other “sacred” texts. The passage I read (and
unfortunately I don’t know what it was) talked about what God expects you to do
in this life and how to live it according to His commandments. It stated that
God is The Most Gracious and Merciful and The Forgiver. Most importantly, unto
Him is our return. Before I knew it, I could hear each of my tear drops as they
hit the pages that I was reading. I was crying right in the middle of the
library, because finally, after all my searching and wondering I had found what
I was looking for- Islam. I knew the Quran was something unique because I had
read a lot of religious literature, and NONE of it was ever this clear or gave
me such a feeling. Now I can see the wisdom of God…for letting me explore
Judaism and Christianity so thoroughly before I found Islam, so I could compare
them all and realize that NOTHING compares to Islam.
From that point on I kept researching Islam. I approached it by looking for
inconsistencies as I had done with Judaism and Christianity, but there wasn’t
any to be found. I scoured the Quran, searching for any discrepancy; even to
this day I haven’t been able to find ONE inconsistency in it! Another great
thing I love about the Quran is it challenges the reader to question it. It
says about itself that if it wasn’t from God surely you would find a lot of
inconsistency in it! Not only was Islam free of inconsistencies, it had an
answer for any question I could think of - an answer that made sense.
After three months, I decided that Islam was the answer and made my
conversion official by saying the Shahadah. However, I had to say my Shahadah
over the speaker phone with an imam from Pennsylvania because there were no
Muslims or mosques near me (the NEAREST was about 6 hours away). I have never
regretted my decision to convert. Since there were no Muslims living near me, I
had to take initiative and do much learning on my own, but I never grew tired of
it because I was learning the truth. Accepting Islam was like an awakening of
my spirit, my mind and even how I viewed the world.
I could compare it to someone who has bad eyesight; they struggle to keep up
on class, can’t concentrate and are constantly challenged by their handicap. If
you just give them a pair of glasses everything becomes clear and in focus.
This is how my experience of Islam is: like receiving a pair of glasses, which
have allowed me, for the first time, to really see.
Penomee (Dr. Kari Ann Owen), Ex-Jewish, USA
Description: Due to various life experiences, Dr. Owens feels a lack of
belonging to American and Western Society and this looks elsewhere for Guidance.
By Dr. Kari Ann Owen - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 31 Jul 2006
“There is no god but God, and Muhammad, may God praise him, is his
messenger.”
These are the words of the Shahadah oath, I believe.
The Creator is known by many names. His wisdom is always recognizable, and
his presence made manifest in the love, tolerance and compassion present in our
community.
His profound ability to guide us from a war-like individualism so rampant in
American society to a belief in the glory and dignity of the Creator’s human
family, and our obligations to and membership within that family. This
describes the maturation of a spiritual personality, and perhaps the most
desirable maturation of the psychological self, also.
My road to Shahadah began when an admired director, Tony Richardson, died of
AIDS. Mr. Richardson was already a brilliant and internationally recognized
professional when I almost met him backstage at the play Luther at age 14.
Playwriting for me has always been a way of finding degrees of spiritual and
emotional reconciliation, both within myself and between myself and a world I
found rather brutal due to childhood circumstances. Instead of fighting with
the world, I let my conflicts fight it out in my plays. Amazingly, some of us
have even grown up together!
So, as I began accumulating stage credits (productions and staged readings),
beginning at age 17, I always retained the hope that I would someday fulfill my
childhood dream of studying and working with Mr. Richardson. When he followed
his homosexuality to America (from England) and a promiscuous community, AIDS
killed him, and with him went another portion of my sense of belonging to and
within American society.
Page 31
I began to look outside American and Western society to Islamic culture for
moral guidance.
Why Islam and not somewhere else?
My birthmother’s ancestors were Spanish Jews who lived among Muslims until
the Inquisition expelled the Jewish community in 1492. In my historical memory,
which I feel at a deep level, the call of the muezzin is as deep as the lull of
the ocean and the swaying of ships, the pounding of horses’ hooves across the
desert, the assertion of love in the face of oppression.
I felt the birth of a story within me, and the drama took form as I began to
learn of an Ottoman caliph’s humanity toward Jewish refugees at the time of my
ancestors’ expulsions. God guided my learning, and I was taught about Islam by
figures as diverse as Imam Siddiqi of the South Bay Islamic Association; Sister
Hussein of Rahima; and my beloved adopted Sister, Maria Abdin, who is Native
American, Muslim and a writer for the SBIA magazine, IQRA. My first research
interview was in a halal [meat regarded as lawful in Islamic law] butcher shop
in San Francisco’s Mission District, where my understanding of living Islam was
profoundly affected by the first Muslim lady I had ever met: a customer who was
in hijab, behaved with a sweet kindness and grace and also read, wrote and spoke
four languages.
Her brilliance, coupled with her amazing (to me) freedom from arrogance, had
a profound effect on the beginnings of my knowledge of how Islam can affect
human behavior.
Little did I know then that not only would a play be born, but a new Muslim.
The course of my research introduced me to much more about Islam than a set
of facts, for Islam is a living religion. I learned how Muslims conduct
themselves with a dignity and kindness which lifts them above the American slave
market of sexual competition and violence. I learned that Muslim men and women
can actually be in each others’ presence without tearing each other to pieces,
verbally and physically. And I learned that modest dress, perceived as a
spiritual state, can uplift human behavior and grant to both men and women a
sense of their own spiritual worth.
Why did this seem so astonishing, and so astonishingly new?
Like most American females, I grew up in a slave market, comprised not only
of the sexual sicknesses of my family, but the constant negative judging of my
appearance by peers beginning at ages younger than seven. I was taught from a
very early age by American society that my human worth consisted solely of my
attractiveness (or, in my case, lack of it) to others. Needless to say, in this
atmosphere, boys and girls, men and women, often grew to resent each other very
deeply, given the desperate desire for peer acceptance, which seemed almost if
not totally dependent not on one’s kindness or compassion or even intelligence,
but on looks and the perception of those looks by others.
While I do not expect or look for human perfection among Muslims, the social
differences are profound, and almost unbelievable to someone like myself.
I do not pretend to have any answers to the conflicts of the Middle East,
except what the prophets, beloved in Islam, have already expressed. My
disabilities prevent me from fasting, and from praying in the same prayer
postures as most [Muslims].
But I love and respect the Islam I have come to know through the behavior and
words of the men and women I have come to know in AMILA (American Muslims Intent
on Learning and Activism) and elsewhere, where I find a freedom from cruel
emotional conflicts and a sense of imminent spirituality.
What else do I feel and believe about Islam?
I support and deeply admire Islam’s respect for same sex education; for the
rights of women as well as men in society; for modest dress; and above all for
sobriety and marriage, the two most profound foundations of my life, for I am 21
1/2 years sober and happily married. How wonderful to feel that one and half
billion Muslims share my faith in the character development which marriage
allows us, and also in my decision to remain drug- and alcohol-free.
What, then, is Islam’s greatest gift in a larger sense?
In a society which presents us with constant pressure to immolate ourselves
on the altars of unbridled instinct without respect for consequences, Islam asks
us to regard ourselves as human persons created by God with the capacity for
responsibility in our relations with others. Through prayer, charity and a
commitment to sobriety and education, if we follow the path of Islam, we stand a
good chance of raising children who will be free from the violence and
exploitation which is robbing parents and children of safe schools and
neighborhoods, and often of their lives.
Indrani and Chandara, Ex-Hindu, Singapore (part 1 of 3)
Description: A Hindu girl marries a pious assistant of a swami, but one who
Page 32
later looks to other religions for enlightenment.
By Muneerah Al-Idros (Interviewer) - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on
23 Oct 2006
Category: Articles > Stories of New Muslims > Men
Sister Nishani (previously known as Indrani) and her husband, Brother Rafiq
(previously known as Chandara) shared with Sister Muneerah Al-Idros, their path
toward embracing Islam.
Indrani was 6 years old when her father died. Her mother stopped praying as
she felt that god had been unfair to make her a widow with 5 little children.
Indrani and here brothers and sisters were brought up as nominal Hindus. They
had neither an altar nor pictures of gods in their house, as many Hindus do.
When Indrani was 10 years old she began to love god. She collected pictures
of Hindu gods and goddesses and worshipped them at home. She felt the need to
pray and thought it was odd that, unlike other Hindu families, her family
performed few Hindu rites.
During her teenage years, Indrani started going to temple thrice weekly. She
encouraged some of her friends to go to the temple with her, as she quickly
became more interested in Hinduism.
She participated in bhajanai (devotional singing) activities and became a
committee member in Ayyapan Group in Perumal Temple for several years.
One day, Indrani became very ill. She consulted several doctors but was
informed that there was nothing wrong with her. However, her illness
persisted. She later consulted a Swami (a Hindu priest) so that he would clear
the sevanai (evil spirits) that she suspected were dwelling inside her. The
Swami and his assistant came to visit her. The assistant was Chandara, who was
involved in her temple’s religious rites, and who had also organized religious
trips to Malaysia for Indrani and her friends.
Indrani was very impressed with the knowledge the young man demonstrated
while assisting the swami.
After that visit, Chandara dreamt of his favorite goddess, Kaliamma, telling
him to take Indrani as his bride. After much persuasion, his family asked for
Indrani’s hand in marriage. Indrani and her family were pleasantly surprised by
the marriage proposal. Indrani could not believe that her dreams of marrying a
pious Hindu had come true.
Unlike Indrani, Chandara was brought up in a religious Hindu family. On top
of that, Chandara was the most religious in his family. He would often slip
into a trance, reciting the holy mantras in praise of the gods and goddesses who
would [supposedly] possess him and speak through him. In Hinduism, it is
considered an honor to be possessed by the gods or goddesses.
Chandara and other members of the group often got together to listen to the
teachings of the swami. They would also make house visits to chase evil spirits
out of other people’s houses and bodies. This is how Chandara was appointed to
be the swami’s assistant.
Indrani had never entered into a trance but had seen Chandara [supposedly]
being possessed by the elephant god, Vinayagar. Chandara would behave exactly
like an elephant, eating the fruits that the elephant ate.
When in a trance, Chandara would be approached to solve problems. Those who
approached him would prostrate before him, for they regarded him as “God”. The
vibuthi (white ashes) used to anoint the forehead would be brought to Chandara
to be blessed.
Despite all this, Chandara did not feel complete. Dissatisfied, he knew
there was something not right in his life. He failed to see the light and
always felt that his path was blocked by some kind of darkness which he wanted
to clear so he could reach the light. He knew that were 3360 Hindu gods and he
prayed to several of them.
Whenever he felt confused, he would go to the library to find out more about
Hinduism. He learned from the elders but knew there was still a lot more to
learn. Many of the Hindu priests did not want to share everything that they
knew; knowledge was their rice bowl, and they did not want their source to be
taken away.
It was difficult to learn on your own about Hinduism, as most of the writings
were in Sanskrit. Chandara could not find any holy books that satisfied his
quest. All the books were written by different authors and each of them had
different ideas about how and when Hinduism started. Even the Bhagavat Geeta
(which emphasized more on Vishnu), Ramayana and Mahabrahta were very limited.
Page 33
These holy scriptures were more literature books, teaching that we should do
good and pray to the gods. Above all these gods is the female god, who is the
Aadhi Parasakhti. She controls the whole universe. The essence of Hinduism is
to strive at getting a good reincarnation and to worship God and to pray to God
through demigods.
During this search for enlightenment, Chandara was approached by a Christian
missionary worker in Toa Payoh. He got involved in Christianity in the hope of
enlightenment. However, he did not like Christianity, mainly due to the
behavior of the people in the church; he noticed that young men and women were
behaving indecently. Christianity was not what he was looking for and he
withdrew.Indrani and Chandara, Ex-Hindu, Singapore (part 2 of 3)
Description: As her husband becomes increasing involved with Islam, Indrani at
first rejects Islam but later reads the Quran and starts to see strange dreams.
31 Jul 2006
Still, Chandara could no longer bring himself to pray to so many gods. He
could worship only one God spiritually and worship the other idols physically,
but he did not know who the One God was. Chandara occasionally still got into a
trance.
Chandara had curious Malay friends asking him about Hindu worship. They did
not tell him about Islam but they told him that unlike him they pray to one God:
God.
Chandara, who was the leader among his working mates, would go along with
Malays when they performed their Zuhr prayer, waiting while they prayed. At the
same time, he would pray to God in his heart, and ask for the right path.
Chandara was very impressed with the adhan, which had a soothing effect on
this. The adhan touched his heart so deeply, especially when it was followed by
the prayer that his friends and other Muslims never failed to fulfill. He felt
like it was so simple to recognize the true God. “Just worship him. Why does
one need all these idols and mediators?” It did not take long before he felt it
was Islam and God that he had been searching for.
After their marriage, his wife Indrani was still quite active in her temple
activities. She became puzzled when her husband, a more pious Hindu than
herself, used to hint repeatedly at the existence of one Almighty God, about
praying to one God and that a true religion should not have many gods. Her
mother-in-law felt that her previously pious son might have offended the gods.
Even after marriage, Chandara continued his search for enlightenment. He was
trying to search for his One God in Hinduism, trying to know the One God he was
praying to spiritually. He was no longer interested in any of the temple
activities, no longer got into a trance. His mother, while in a trance, pointed
out that her son’s change in behavior was due to his being under a charm.
Chandara did not know anything about Islam except that in Islam, God is One.
He would meditate daily and Uthrachamale (… rosary) Usually, he would be
chanting the various god’s names. However, this time when he called out their
names he felt something was wrong so he just said in English, “Almighty God,
Almighty God...” In his meditation, he knew Muslims are praying to the true God.
Chandara’s biggest problem in practicing Islam was Indrani. She didn’t like
Muslims and was active with her temple activities. He tried to influence his
wife on the teachings of Islam by turning on to the Malaysian Islamic programmed
on televisions, like “Pedoman.” Indrani would complain that it was not necessary
for her husband to take so much interest in Islam. He took this opportunity to
express to her that he no longer believed in Hinduism, reasoning that it does
not have a holy book and a basis of belief. Failing to find out how Hinduism
started it merely seemed a culture full of complexity brought down by their
ancestors.
He bought a translation of the Quran by Yusuf Ali and was deeply impressed
when he read about the Prophets, of the beginning of mankind and of heaven and
hell. He found many things that are necessary for every human bring to know and
he encouraged Indrani to read it. When he read that idol-worshippers will be
thrown to hell, he had all the idols and pictures removed from their home.
Chandara now concentrated on learning more about Islam from various sources.
He tried to learn more about Islam from his Malay friends. However, they
usually could not give him answers to his questions. They suggested that he
should seek help from … a religious teacher).
Page 34
Chandara started bringing home books on Islam, as well as on Christianity,
Sikhism and Hinduism, telling his wife to read and make a comparison of these
religions. Indrani was not interested she was very satisfied with her belief
and with Hinduism. She told herself that there no way he could influence her
with his idea of One Almighty God and swore in her heart that she would bring
him back to her way.
Indrani had no intention of reading the books her husband brought home. Yet
when she had trouble sleeping at night, something made her pick up the Quran and
read it. Again and again, when she could not sleep, it was the Quran that she
picked up and read. She felt so lost because since her husband removed the
Hindu deities from their home, she could no longer pray to them.
Indrani began to have dreams. During her first pregnancy, she dreamt of the
Kaaba. She related her dream to one of her Muslim colleagues, who the related
Indrani’s dream to her father. He told her that she was fortunate to have
dreamt of the Kaaba.Indrani and Chandara, Ex-Hindu, Singapore (part 3 of 3)
Description: After much thought, Indrani accepts Islam along with her Husband.
31 Jul 2006
She also dreamt of Hindu gods giving her warnings and threats but she had
more dreams about Islam and pious Muslims. She continued to pray to Hindu
idols, but wondered about her dreams. When she was expecting her third
daughter, she had another strange dream. She heard a voice coming from the open
window of the bedroom window. The voice said, “I am Muhammad, the Messenger of
God. Follow my way and all evil will go away. If you want to know more, ask
your husband.”
She awoke after this dream but fell asleep again. She had a second dream.
In this dream, she saw herself telling her husband about her first dream. She
asked him what the “way” was and he told her to look out the window. When she
did, she saw Yusuf Islam dressed like an Arab giving a talk on Islam, surrounded
by other people dressed like him. Indrani had never seen Yusuf Islam before but
she had heard of him. Somehow, in her dream, she knew it was him.
These dreams had a very strong impact on Indrani’s belief. She became
increasingly drawn toward Islam and wanted to follow the way of Muhammad, the
Messenger of God, may God praise him. She recalls that she wanted to accept
Islam, but was afraid as she was expecting her third child. She feared
something would befall her baby as she thought of the threats the Hindu deities
had made in her dream. After her delivery, Indrani told her husband that she
was ready.
They were told about Dar-ul Arqam - The Muslim Converts’ Association of
Singapore, where they could register their reversion to Islam. Chandara
initially refused as he thought Dar-ul Arqam was affiliated to [another strange
organization]. They went to Jamiyah (Islamic Theological Society of Singapore)
instead, and registered their names as Mohamed Rafiq and Nishani.
When they announced their reversion, they encountered many problems. This
was especially so when Indrani started wearing the hijab. Their parents,
siblings, relatives and friends who used to hold them dear, now chided them.
All the friends Indrani guided to Hinduism now refused to have anything to do
with her, for fear that she may succeed in bringing them to Islam. They were
especially surprised because Indrani used to dislike Muslims more than they
did. Indrani’s parents warned her that her husband must have a hidden interest
in having more than one wife.
Indrani and her husband, ostracized by their parents, missed the affection
they previously received from them. Indrani repeatedly told herself that since
God loves her so much, the sacrifice she was making in losing her family was
nothing. She knows that no one loves her more than God Himself.
Learned Hindus and gurus tried to bring Chandara back to Hinduism but he
turned them down politely. They then severed their relationship with him.
Indrani’s family swore to see that he children Nisha, Nafeesa and Natasha be
brought back to Hinduism when they grow up, refusing to acknowledge their
grandchildren’s Muslim names. The children, now studying at the Madrasah
(Islamic school), are very pleased with their religion. Chandara encourages
them to wear the hijab, even though they are still young, with the intention of
getting them used to veiling. The parents observed that the children like the
hijab so much that they themselves refuse to remove it.
Page 35
Despite being rejected by their families, Indrani and Chandara never gave up
trying to improve their relationship with them. Today, both Indrani’s and
Chandara’s mothers have expressed that they have a filial son and a filial
daughter. Alhamdulillah [All praise is to God].
Amber Acosta, Ex-Catholic, USA
Description: A young lady raised and schooled as a Catholic finds in Islam what
she was searching for in Catholicism.
By Amber Acosta - Published on 22 Jan 2007 - Last modified on 21 Jan 2007
Why did I become Muslim? I can clearly remember the day I officially
converted at Al-Azhar Mosque in Cairo, I came right from the state of
Connecticut (US), but what lead up to that day remains as a somewhat
subconscious, yet continuous quest for God.
As a child, I was always sure of religion and God, but never in the way it
was presented in Catholicism. I could never grasp how God could be three (with
the Trinity), how we could pray to many people such as Jesus (peace be upon
him), Mary and assorted saints, the concept of original sin, how priests could
just “forgive” your sins, or why there were hundreds of completely different
bibles.
Consequently, these are just a few of the things that anyone, including
priests, could ever address or even explain. It was amazing that I went to
church and religious education but came out without knowing exactly what I
should be doing to be a good Christian. I learned I was supposed to be “good,”
“giving,” “caring,” “merciful,” and many other desirable traits, but there was
never any practical application for how I should go about doing that.
Without knowing it then, I was searching for a way to connect with the One
God I knew and always prayed to, as well as a structure from God that would
teach me exactly how I should be carrying out my life. But life went on, and
with pressure from my family and objection from me, I went through the
initiations into the Catholic Church. Up until college, religion was nothing
more to me than a bother on Sunday mornings. God though, was still present.
I happened to go to a Catholic college and thought I would give Catholicism
one last chance. I wanted so desperately to reach God. I tried my best once
again to find my way through the only means I knew possible and it did not
work. I finally renounced Catholicism, so that meant it was time to explore
other options.
Catholicism and Christian denominations were out because of my previous
troubles with them and so was Judaism because of its disbelief in Jesus.
Although I had issues with Christianity, I was always sure Jesus had a powerful
message to humankind — the message of worshiping one God. I could never
understand how Christians ended up worshiping Jesus himself. I felt sure that
he would have never wanted that. This left me with one more option — Islam.
I happened to be familiar with Islam through previous travels in Egypt, so I
was open to the possibility of this faith. It was not alien to me, although at
the time I did not know any Muslims other than a friend or two in Egypt.
I began reading the Quran and searching for information on Islam through the
Internet. I remember my first feeling about the Quran was that I knew
instinctively it could never have been written by a human hand; it was simply
beyond that. This was in sharp contrast to my reading of the Bible, which
seemed like just a collection of stories written by a man. This love of the
Quran’s words and the fact that there was and is just one, unchanged Quran since
its revelation to Prophet Muhammad, may God praise him, was not the only thing
that impressed me.
I felt good about everything I learned about Islam. This feeling meant a
lot, so I kept digging, learning, and liking. Most importantly, I found answers
to my two main religious issues of the past (only wanting to worship one God and
structure). Islam is strictly monotheistic in that Muslims worship of God alone
without any partners, and the Quran and Sunnah (the sayings and actions of the
Prophet [may God praise him]) give a complete way of life to follow. I finally
knew exactly what I had to do to be a good Christian, I had to become a Muslim!
During the last two years of college, I held the beliefs of Islam, not really
sure what to do with them in a Catholic college environment. I knew in my heart
that I was Muslim, but I did not know how to break that news to family and
friends.
After college, I was offered an internship in Egypt and happily returned. I
made many good Muslim friends, including my husband-to-be, who helped me
Page 36
officially convert and learn so many things that are important in the religion.
I was lucky to have all the wonderful support I received.
It was not easy telling people that I was Muslim. Although some people were
glad I found a religion I loved, I have not always received congratulations or
even polite responses, but I have become strong because of it. I can defend my
faith and I thank God every day that I am Muslim. I remember growing up
confused about God and religion. I finally feel complacent and simply happy
each day that goes by because I now understand the truth.
Diane Charles Breslin, Ex-Catholic, USA (part 1 of 3)
Description: A strict Catholic loses faith after reading the Bible, but her
continued belief in God leads her to explore other religions.
By Diane Charles Breslin - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 31 Jul
2006
When I am asked how I became a Muslim I always reply that I always felt
myself to be a believer in the ONE AND ONLY, yet I first realized what that
meant when I heard about a religion called Islam, and a book called Quran.
But let me first start with a brief synopsis of my American overwhelmingly
traditional Irish Catholic background.
Catholic I was Indeed
My dad left the seminary after a three-year stint to train as a missionary.
He was the oldest of thirteen children, all born and raised in the Boston area.
Two of his sisters became nuns, as was his aunt on his mother’s side. My dad’s
younger brother was also in the seminary and quit after 9 years, just before
taking his final vows. My grandmother would wake at dawn to dress and climb the
hill to the local church for early morning mass while the rest of the house was
sleeping. I remember her as being a very stern, kind, fair, and strong woman,
and rather deep - unusual for those days. I’m certain she never heard mention
of Islam, and may God judge her as to the beliefs she held in her heart. Many
who never heard of Islam pray to the One by instinct, although they have
inherited labels of various denominations from their ancestors.
I was enrolled in a Catholic nursery school at the age of four and spent the
next 12 years of my life surrounded by heavy doses of trinity indoctrination.
Crosses were everywhere, all day long - on the nuns themselves, on the walls of
the classroom, in church which we attended almost daily, and in almost every
room of my house. Not to mention the statues and holy pictures - everywhere you
looked there was baby Jesus and his mother Mary - sometimes happy, sometimes
sad, yet always classically white and Anglo featured. Various and sundry angels
and saints pictures would make their appearances, depending on the holyday
approaching.
I have vivid memories picking lilacs and lilies of the valley from our yard
to make bouquets which I placed in the vase at the base of the largest Mother
Mary statue in the upstairs hallway next to my bedroom. There I would kneel and
pray, enjoying the pleasant scent of the freshly picked flowers and serenely
contemplating on how lovely was Mary’s long flowing chestnut hair. I can
unequivocally state that I never once prayed TO HER or felt that she had any
powers to help me. The same was true when I would hold my rosary beads at night
in bed. I repeated the ritual supplications of the Our Father and the Hail Mary
and the Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, all the
while looking upward and saying with my true heart—I know its only You, one
almighty You-I’m just saying this stuff because it’s all I ever learned.
On my twelfth birthday, my mom gave me a Bible. As Catholics we were not
encouraged to read anything except our Baltimore Catechism, sanctioned by the
Vatican. Any comparative introspection was denied and disparaged. Yet I
fervently read, seeking to know what I hoped would be a story from and about my
creator. I got even more confused. This book was obviously the work of men,
convoluted and difficult to grasp. Yet, once again, that’s all that was
available.
My prior faithful church attendance dropped off in my mid teens, as was the
norm for my generation, and by the time I reached my twenties, I had basically
no formal religion. I read a lot on Buddhism, Hinduism and even tried out the
local Baptist church for a few months. They were not enough to hold my
attention, the former too exotic and the latter too provincial. Yet all through
the years of not formally practicing, a day never passed when I didn’t “talk to
god” especially as I fell asleep I would always say thanks for all my blessings
and seek help for any problems I was experiencing. It was always the same
Page 37
certain ONE AND ONLY whom I was addressing, sure He was listening and confident
of His love and care. No one ever taught me anything about this; it was pure
instinct.Diane Charles Breslin, Ex-Catholic, USA (part 2 of 3)
Description: Diane’s readings of Islam cause her to again love Jesus and Mary,
but a true love in a new light.
2006
The Others
It was in my preparation for my master’s degree that I first heard of the
Quran. Up until then, as most Americans, I knew only of “the Arabs” as
mysterious, dark predators out to plunder our civilization. Islam was never
mentioned – only the surly, dirty Arabs, camels and tents in the desert. As a
child in religion class, I often wondered who were the other people? Jesus
walked in Caana and Galilee and Nazareth, but he had blue eyes — who were the
other people? I had a sense that there was a missing link somewhere. In 1967
during the Arab-Israeli war, we all got our first glimpse of the other people,
and they were clearly viewed by most as the enemy. But for me, I liked them,
and for no apparent reason. I cannot to this day explain it, except to now
realize that they were my Muslim brothers.
I was about 35 when I read my first page of Quran. I opened it with the
intention of a casual browse to get acquainted with the religion of the
inhabitants of the region I was majoring in for my Master’s Degree. God caused
the book to fall open to Surat al-Mu’minun (The Believers) verses 52-54:
“Verily, this your nation is one nation and I am your Lord so keep your duty to
Me. But they broke up their command into sects, each one rejoicing in its
belief. So leave them in their error until a time.” (Quran 23:52-54)
From the first reading, I knew that this was certain truth- clear and
forceful, revealing the essence of all humanity and verifying all I had studied
as a History major. Humanity’s pathetic rejection of the truth, their unceasing
vain competition to be special and their neglectfulness of the purpose for their
very existence all set forward in a few words. Nation states, nationalities,
cultures, languages – all feeling superior, when in fact, all these identities
mask the only reality which we ought to rejoice in sharing- that is to serve one
master, THE ONE Who created everything and Who owns everything.
I Still Love Jesus and Mary
As a child I used to say the phrase “Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us
sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen,” found in the prayer “Hail
Mary”. I now see how much Mary has been maligned by the misrepresentation of
her as the mother of the godhead. It is quite enough to view her as chosen
above all women to bear the great prophet Jesus by the Virgin Birth. My mom
would often defend her constant pleas for Mary’s help by explaining that she too
was a mother and understood a mother’s sorrows. It would be far more useful for
my mom and all others to contemplate how the most pure Mary was slandered by the
Jews of her time and accused of a most despicable sin, that of fornication.
Mary bore all of this, knowing that she would be vindicated by the Almighty, and
that she would be given the strength to bear all of their calumnies.
This recognition of Mary’s faith and trust in God’s mercy will allow one to
recognize her most exalted position among women, and at the same time remove the
slander of calling her the mother of God, which is an even worse accusation than
that of the Jews of her time. As a Muslim you may love Mary and Jesus, but to
love God more will gain you the Paradise, as He is the One whose rules you must
obey. He will judge you on a day when no one else can help you. He created
you, and Jesus, and his blessed mother Mary, as He created Muhammad. All died
or will die – God never dies.
Jesus (`Isa in Arabic) never once claimed to be the godhead. Rather, he
repeatedly referred to himself as being sent. As I look back on the confusion I
experienced in my youth, its root lay in the church’s claim that Jesus was more
than he himself admitted. The church fathers formulated a doctrine to invent
the concept of Trinity. It is this confused rendering of the original Torah and
Injil [Gospel] (scriptures given to Moses and Jesus) which is at the core of the
issue of Trinity.
In honest fact, it is enough to simply state that Jesus was a prophet, yes, a
messenger who came with the word of the One Who sent him. If we view Jesus, may
God praise him, in this correct light, it’s easy to then accept Muhammad, may
God praise him, as his younger brother who came with the very same mission – to
Page 38
call all to the worship of the Almighty ONE, Who created everything and to whom
we shall all return. It is of no consequence whatsoever to debate their
physical features. Arab, Jew, Caucausian, blue or brown eyes, long or short
hair – all totally irrelevant as to their importance as bearers of the message.
Whenever I think of Jesus now, after knowing about Islam, I feel that
connectedness which one feels in a happy family – a family of believers. You
see Jesus was a “Muslim”, one who submits to his Lord above.
The first of the “Ten Commandments” state:
1. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not have false gods before me.
2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy god in vain.
Anyone who knows the correct meaning of “la ilaha ill-Allah” (there is no god
but God) will immediately recognize the similarity in this testimony. Then we
can really start to bring together the real story of all the prophets and put an
end to the distortions.
“And they said the Most Merciful has taken a son. Indeed you have brought forth
a terrible evil thing. Whereby the heavens are almost torn, and the earth split
asunder, and the mountains fall in ruins.” (Quran 19:88-90)Diane Charles
Breslin, Ex-Catholic, USA (part 3 of 3)
Description: Diane discusses her acceptance of Islam, her new life, and a prayer
for America.
2006
My Journey to Islam
It took three full years of my searching and studying Quran before I was
ready to proclaim that I wanted to be a Muslim. Of course I feared the changes
in clothing and habits, such as dating and drinking to which I had become
accustomed. Music and dancing were a big part of my life, and bikinis and mini
skirts were my claim to fame. All the while I had no chance to encounter any
Muslims, as there were none in my area except a few immigrants who could barely
speak English an hour’s drive away at the only mosque in the state at that
time. When I would go to Friday Prayer to try and check out what I was
considering, I would receive furtive glances as I was perhaps suspected of being
a spy as was the case, and still is, in most Islamic gatherings. There was not
a single Muslim American available to help me and, as I said, all the immigrant
population were rather chilly to say the least.
In the midst of this phase of my life, my dad died of cancer. I was at his
bedside and literally witnessed the angel of death remove his soul. He was
gripped by fear as tears rolled down his cheeks. A life of luxury, yachts,
country clubs, expensive cars … for both him and mom, all a result of interest
income, and now it’s all over.
I felt a sudden desire to enter Islam quickly, while there was still time,
and to change my ways and not to continue blindly seeking what I had been raised
to believe to be the good life. Shortly thereafter I came to Egypt, and
involved a long slow journey through the miracle of the Arabic language and the
discovery of the clear truth – God is One, the Everlasting Eternal; Who never
was born or gave birth and there is nothing at all like Him.
It is also the resulting equality between humans that attracted me most to
that religion. The Prophet Muhammad, may God praise him, said that people are
like teeth of a comb – all equal, the best being the most pious. In the Quran,
we are told that the best are the pious ones. Piety involves love of and fear
of God alone. Yet before you can really be pious, you must learn who God is.
And to know Him is to love Him. I started learning Arabic to read the word of
Allah in Arabic as it was revealed.
Learning the Quran has changed every facet of my life. I no longer wish to
have any earthly luxuries; neither cars nor clothes nor trips can lure me into
that web of vain desires which I was so caught up in before. I do enjoy a
fairly good life of a believer; but as they say… it is no longer embedded in the
heart...only at hand. I don’t fear the loss of my former friends or relatives –
if God chooses to bring them close, then so be it, but I know that God gives me
exactly what I need, no more – no less. I don’t feel anxious or sad anymore,
nor do I feel regret at what has passed me by, because I’m safe in the care of
God - THE ONE AND ONLY whom I always knew but didn’t know His name.
A Prayer For America
I pray to Almighty God to allow each and every American the opportunity to
receive the message of the Oneness of God in a simple, straightforward fashion…
Page 39
Americans are, for the most part, grossly uninformed in regards to correct
Islamic theology. The stress is almost always on politics, which focuses on the
deeds of men. It’s high time we concentrated on the deeds of the prophets who
all came to lead us out of the darkness and into the light. There is no doubt
that darkness is prevailing in the malaise affecting America now. The light of
truth will serve us all, and whether or not one chooses to follow the Islamic
path, there is no doubt that the blocking of it or the hindering of others from
following it will surely lead to further misery. I care very much for the
healthy future of my country, and I’m quite certain that learning more about
Islam will enhance the chances of my hopes being fulfilled.
Akifah Baxter, Ex-Christian, USA
Description: Strolling through a bookstore in search for guidance, Akifah finds
a book about Islam.
By Akifah Baxter - Published on 16 Jan 2006 - Last modified on 31 Jul 2006
I have always been aware of the existence of God. I have always felt that He
was there. Sometimes that feeling was distant, and often times I ignored it.
But I could never deny this knowledge. Because of this, throughout my life, I
have been searching for the truth of His Plan.
I have attended many churches. I listened, I prayed, I talked to people from
all different faiths. But it seemed that there was always something that didn’t
feel right; it felt confusing, like there was something missing. I’ve heard
many people in the past say to me, “Well, I believe in God, but I don’t belong
to any religion. They all seem wrong to me.” This was my feeling exactly,
however, I didn’t want to just let it go at that and just accept it. I knew
that if God exists then He wouldn’t just leave us with no direction, or even a
warped version of the truth. There had to be a plan, a “true religion.” I just
had to find it.
The various Christian churches are where I concentrated my search, simply
because that is what I grew up with, and there seemed to be some truths in some
of their teachings. However, there were so many different views, so many
conflicting teachings on basic things like how to pray, who to pray to or
through, who was going to be “saved”, and who wasn’t, and what a person had to
do to get “saved.” It seemed so convoluted. I felt I was near giving up. I
had just come from yet another church whose views on God and the purpose of our
existence, left me so completely frustrated because I knew what they were
teaching wasn’t true.
One day, I had wandered in the bookstore and I went over to the religious
section. As I stood there gazing over the vast array of mostly Christian books,
a thought occurred to me to see if they had anything on Islam. I knew virtually
nothing about Islam, and when I picked up the first book, it was solely out of
curiosity. But I became excited with what I was reading. One of the first
things that struck me was the statement ‘There is no god but God,’ He has no
associates, and all prayers and worship are directed to Him alone. This seemed
so simple, so powerful, so direct, and made so much sense. So from there I
started reading everything I could about Islam.
Everything I read made so much sense to me. It was as if suddenly all the
pieces of this puzzle were fitting perfectly, and a clear picture was emerging.
I was so excited my heart would race any time I read anything about Islam.
Then, when I read the Quran, I felt like I was truly blessed to be able to read
this. I knew that this had come directly from God through His Messenger [may
God praise him]. This was it, the truth. I felt like all along I had been a
Muslim but I just didn’t know it until now. Now as I start my life as a Muslim,
I have a sense of peace and security knowing that what I am learning is the pure
truth and will take me closer to God. May God keep guiding me. Ameen.
Page 40

Women Who Changed Their Lives

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I was raised to believe in God from childhood. I attended church nearly

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