**** Amazon Edition **** Breathe into Me Copyright 2013 by Amanda Stone

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Table of Contents
Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four Chapter Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Chapter Twenty-Seven Epilogue Acknowledgments About the Author

To my husband, sister, and friends for pushing me to do something I never thought myself capable of doing.

I couldn't believe it. Here I was, standing outside the dorm room I'd be living in with my best friend, Jessi. I took a deep breath as I stared at the grain in the wooden door that held the room I would call home for the next ten months. Looking back six years ago, I never thought I'd make it to this point, but I was ready to begin my new chapter. Balancing the box that held the last of my belongings on my hip, I slowly turned the brass colored knob and made my way into the room. Setting the box on the bed, I took a minute to take in my new

surroundings. The room was larger than you would expect for a dorm. We each had our own twin-size bed and desk sitting straight across from one another. The closets were a fairly decent size and I could detect a light scent of fresh paint, as though they had just finished painting the pale yellow walls. There was a closed door to my left that I knew led into the adjoining bathroom. I wasnt too keen on the idea of having to shower in a room full of strangers, so the fact that this dorm had adjoining bathroomsinstead of a community bathroomwas already a big plus on my list. The first being that Jessi and I were actually able to room together. I dont think I could have handled living with a complete stranger for almost an entire

year either I was seriously lacking in the people skills department these days. Walking over to my bed, I sat down and smiled when the sun coming through the window reflected on the silver bracelet on my slender wrist. Out of habit I flipped through the tiny charms, each one holding a special meaning. I hadnt taken this bracelet off in six years. It was the only thing I had left of her. I couldnt help but smile at the thought of how proud she would be of me at this moment. Making it to collegedoing something that she had not been able to do herself. Over the past six years I had changed from the carefree, outgoing girl I had once been, to being a shell of my former self. While I missed that part of me and wished I could get her back, I couldnt help but

think she was gone forever. That girl had been stolen from me. Jessi never gave up hope that I would find my way back to the person I used to be. She was constantly dragging me around with her to a few parties and gettogethers with the people I used to call my friends. But I could always tell the atmosphere would change the minute I stepped into the room. No one knew how to act around me anymore. Jess always tried to tell me it was in my head, but I knew the truth. They all felt sorry for me. The door to the room flew open and connected with the wall with a loud bang causing the room to slightly vibrate and pulling me from my thoughts. I turned to find Jessis back standing in the doorway, her tiny frame trying its best to drag one

of the four hot pink suitcases she had packed full of God knows what through the door. Little help here? she grunted as she tugged on the suitcase, which must have been hung up on something because even with all her efforts the heavy case didnt budge. I told you not to bring all that crap, I huffed as I got up from my bed. Where are you even going to put it all? Blowing a piece of her strawberry blonde hair from her forehead, she glared at me. In your closet duh. I saw how much you packed up and believe me girl; youre going to be thanking me for being overly accessorized, she finished with a wink. I wrapped my hand around the handle

next to hers and pulled. With both of us pulling, the case finally hopped over the small piece of trim that separated the tile floor in the hallway from the hardwood in our dorm allowing Jessi to continue to roll it into the room. I rolled my eyes and went about unpacking my things. She was kind of right, I didnt bring much, but, really, what would I need? I was here thanks to a couple scholarships, which meant I would need to buckle down and make sure I studied hard. Studying attire didnt really consist of more than an old comfy hoodie and sweat pants if you ask me. Hey, after we get all this stuff put away you wanna go get a bite to eat? Im starving, Jess grunted as she tried forcing a tote that was completely full of shoes

under her bed. Knowing it would be months before we could eat at our favorite hometown pizza place again, wed stopped to enjoy it one last time before heading out of town. And other than a quick potty break, we didnt stop again on our five-hour drive here. With Jessi mentioning food, and it being hours since Id last eaten, my stomach decided to growl so loud that I wouldnt be surprised if the whole dorm heard it. Ill take that as a yes? She raised her eyebrow at me and laughed. I nodded. If I didnt get something to eat soon I would probably be tempted to eat the umpteen amounts of flavored lip gloss I knew Jessi was packing somewhere in this disaster of a mess we I mean she created.

I walked across the room and grabbed one of her totes, sending up a silent prayer this one would not hold the lip gloss I was just thinking about. Even though pia colada flavored gloss was extremely tasty, I was quite positive that it was not meant to be digested. Let me help you or Ill die of starvation before you get all your stuff away.

Not knowing where the local hotspots were, we decided to try a caf wed passed on our drive in. It was just around the corner from campus and the weather was perfect for the short walk. Mmm, mmm. Oh God. Is your

sandwich as good as mine? Or am I just that hungry? Looking around, I found Jessis sandwich moans had earned us a few pleased looks from a table of guys sitting across the caf. Leaning in across our table I whispered, Could you please keep your sandwich orgasms down to a minimum? Youre giving that table over there a free show. I slightly nodded my head in the direction of the delighted audience still staring at us. Having no shame, Jessi spun all the way around in her chair and stared straight at a table of decent looking guys sitting across the caf and winked. Gah, Jess? Really? What? The one in the blue is super

cute. She shrugged and turned back to face me again, popping a potato chip into in her mouth. Glancing back to the table I could see the one in the blue was actually quite attractive with his dirty blond hair styled to look like he had just crawled out bed. His blue shirt was a perfect match to his eyes, eyes that were currently starting straight at the back of Jessis head. I slightly raised my chin in his direction and lowered my voice, Well, I think you made a fan over there. He hasnt stopped looking at you. Jessi glanced over her shoulder. She and Mr. Blue Shirt exchanged smiles before she suddenly stood and made her way toward him. This didnt surprise me at all. Jessi has never had a shy bone in

her body. We used to be alike in that aspect, but my past had changed me so much. It was hard to be around people after the incident, with all their stares and whispers. I began to seclude myself and everyone found that to be just fine. No one went out of their way to talk to me and I pretty much kept to myself, with the exception of Jessi. But finally being here at college, hundreds of miles away from that place and all its history, maybe there was hope that I would be able to find my way back to the person I used to be. While Jessi flirted, I plucked at the label on my water bottle until I heard the door chime signaling someone had come in. Out of habit, I look up to see a nice set of broad shoulders in a tight black t-shirt. My eyes slowly slid down his body to his

muscular armsarms that were covered from his wrist up, disappearing under his shirt, in tattoos. Id never really given much thought to tattoos before, but here in this moment I couldnt think of anything hotter. I watched him walk over to the table Jessis new friend and the other guys were occupying. Mr. Blue Shirt saw him coming and stood to give him one of those weird guy-handshake-hug things. When he finished greeting the rest of the guys, he grabbed a chair from a nearby table and sat down. Spinning the black ball cap he was wearing around to the back, the tattooed guy slid his aviators down his nose and our eyes connected for a moment before he continued his conversation with the rest

of the table. I hadnt miss the fact that he had the most blinding set of gray eyes I had ever seen. These werent just gray; they were almost silver. It was almost as if they shined. I had never in all my life seen a set of eyes like his. I had been so distracted by his eyes that I didnt notice Jessi walking back to our table until she started waving her hand in front of my face. Earth to Kelsey. You ready to get outta here? Uhyeah, yeah. I was just waiting on you, I lied. I was still distracted by those tattoos and eyes. Well, come on. Lets get out of here, she said, pulling me from my seat and toward the exit. I chanced a glance over my shoulder and found a set of gray eyes

watching me as I walked out the door.

We explored the campus the rest of the afternoon and made sure we knew where all our classes were, and the quickest route to the little coffee stands in between each class, before heading back to the dorm. On the walk back, I took in all my new surroundings. The campus really was beautiful. The sidewalks were lined with colorful flowers, and there were sparsely placed trees throughout the courtyard. I found that most of the classes were held in the older buildings while the majority of the dorms were in the newer ones. You could tell they built the newer buildings to match the older ones with their high

pillars and light red brick exterior. I was surprised campus wasnt all that crowded yet. We had wanted to come as early as possible today and get settled in so we could take the afternoon to explore campus and get a feel for things before classes started on Monday. But with yesterday being the first day students were allowed to move into the dorms, my guess was people would start showing up this afternoon or early tomorrow morning. Jessis parents anniversary had fallen on the weekend that we were able to move in, and since it was the two of us we figured we could handle the move ourselves. Jessis mom, Carol, wasnt thrilled about missing out on helping us decorate our dorm, but her dad, Jay, had planned a surprise trip for their 25th

anniversary months ago and there was no way we were letting them miss it just to help us get settled. I was glad we had made the decision to come a little earlier so that I had an extra day to get all the books and supplies I might need. My course load was pretty heavy but nothing I couldnt handle. I knew it was going to be hard and would take a lot of dedication but thats what I was here for. When we had fully explored every part of the campus, we headed back to the dorm. The car ride here had been the most uncomfortable five hours of my life due to the fact that I had to scoot my seat up as far to the dash as possible to allow enough room in the back seat for all of Jessis crap. So to say I was tired and in need of

a catnap was an understatement. I couldnt stop yawning while we waited for the elevator. I think Im going to crash when we get to the room. I covered my mouth as yet another yawn escaped me. Better make that a power nap. Were going out tonight, she replied with a mischievous smile. Seriously, Jess? Its our first night here. Cant we just have tonight to lie around and be lazy? I was not feeling like having a night out. Truthfully, all I wanted to do was throw on some sweats and sleep until tomorrow morning. Well you see, heres there thing. You know the hottie from the caf? Well, he asked me to meet him at some bar tonight called Shots.

I rolled my eyes. This involves me how? And why did you wait so long to tell me? You have had all afternoon to let me know that you were planning this bar rendezvous yet you wait until now? I didnt want to fight about it all afternoon. She shrugged. I knew you would be all, No I think I will just stay at the dorm and dont you give me that look! You know its the truth! She had a point. It would have been a fight all afternoonher trying to convince me to go, me being stubborn and saying no. Please, Kels, please? Do this for me? she begged. How could I say no to her? She was my best friend and had been there with me every step of the way through the worst

times in my life. Always dropping anything she was doing to make sure she was there for me if I needed her. Going so far as canceling some of her own dates just so I wouldnt have to sit at home alone, and all she was asking me to do was pull the stick out of my ass and enjoy a night out with her. All right, fine. But I still want my nap! You and all your crap had me in the dash for five hours so you owe me that much. I wasnt sure if she even heard the rest of my sentence because as soon as I said fine she squealed and did a little jump right there in the dorm lobby. I held back my laugh at her excitement over this. Was it really that hard to believe I would agree? Had I really became that much of a sour puss?

We stepped inside when the elevator doors finally opened, and Jess pushed the button to our floor. Maybe tonight would be just what I needed. Lord knows I could use some fun in my life. When we made it back to our dorm room, I rid myself of my jeans and threw on some sweats. I was beyond tired but found that sleep wasnt coming as easily as I thought it would. My bed with its nice, cool sheets had only brought me back to a cool set of gray eyes. Would I ever be able to forget them? This was all so crazy to me; here I was lying in bed daydreaming about a stranger. How much more stalker could I get? But it was true, those eyes would forever be burned into my brain and I drifted off to sleep still thinking about them.

Kelsey! Wake up! I couldnt understand why my bed was shaking so much and for a minute I thought there was an earthquake. But, no, it was just Jessi hovering over me, shaking the mattress with her tiny arms. To be so little, she sure was a strong one. Im up! Now stop shaking me before I get motion sickness and throw up all over your pretty little outfit. Of course Jessi was already dressed. She was wearing her tiny black shorts that she swore made her butt look perfect, and her blood red halter top that had her girls

on full display. Her makeup was fixed to perfection, like always. Jessi could do a smokey eye like no ones business, and it made her green eyes pop. Looking at the clock I saw it was already 9:30 P.M. and we had been planning to leave around 10:00 P.M. That only left me thirty minutes to get ready. I was going to kill her for letting me sleep so late! Jess! Its already 9:30! How could you let me sleep that long? Shrugging, she turned around to the mirror to put yet another coat of gloss on her perfectly plump lips. I was trying to let you rest. Then I got distracted by what I should wear. Perfect. Just perfect. I hated getting ready in a rush.

Jessi, how in the world am I going to get ready in thirty minutes? Maybe we should just stay in tonight, I said as I pulled the covers back up around my neck and rolled to face the wall. Come on Kels. I told that guy I would meet him there. Hes gorgeous too. You saw him! I cant just stand him up. She pouted. I really was torn. While I wanted to go and try to have a good time, I had become so accustomed to staying in and letting Jessi go do her own thing, but I couldnt just let her go to a bar all by herself. This was a new town. We didnt know anyone else here. So I grumpily sat up in my bed and sighed. Fine, let me throw something on real quick. Since I obviously wont have time to get all dolled up like you.

YES! Thats my girl! Here, let me help you pick something out, she said as she went to her closet and began to dig around. No matter what you wear youre gonna look hot, girl. You could wear those old nasty sweats and tank you have on now and the boys would still be falling at your feet. I rolled my eyes. I wouldnt consider myself ugly, but I was not all that attractive. I had my moms lean body and long, light brown hair that always had a nice curl on the ends so I never really had to worry about styling it too much. Looking down at my sweats, I actually considered keeping them on for the night. They may be stained, but they were the most comfortable pair I owned and I would never part with them. The stains

were actually from when Jessi and I painted the spare bedroom in her house where Id lived these last six years. For the first couple years I lived in that room, I refused to change anything. Not the wall color, not the pale flowery bedspread that screamed guestroom nothing. It wasnt my home. Not to me anyway. It wasnt until my sixteenth birthday that Jessi and her mom surprised me with a trip to the hardware store and Bed Bath and Beyond for all the supplies to make that room my own. I told them it wasnt necessary. That I wanted them to still be able to lend out the room to family that would come in from out of town, but they insisted that the room was mine and mine alone. That it was time that I started living like a member of their family, and not a

guest. The bedspread I bought that day was the one I brought with me to college. Being it was only a few years old and finally losing that new bedspread stiffness, I passed when they offered to take me out to buy a new set just for my dorm. Jessi was still raddling on and I pulled my eyes away from my sweats and their special memories to look at her. Youre going to have a great time. Just wait til all the hotties there see you walk in. Youre going to be thanking me by the time we leave and you have a nice piece of man candy to play with. OneI ticked off on my fingerIm not looking for any hotties. Two, Im just doing my best friend duties and accompanying my promiscuous friend to a

bar so that I can be sure shes not slipped a date rape drug, and carted off to be sold as some sex slave. Sex slave? Really, Kels? Jessi said, rolling her eyes at me. I shrugged. I just call em like I see em. I finally got up and walked over to her closet to help her find me something to wear. I wanted to look good but I didnt want to look like I was parading my girls for everyone to see. Jessi and I used to be alike in so many ways except when it came to fashion. Where my fashion tastes were more along the lines of leave-themguessing hers were a little on the stripper side. My God, Kelsey! Would it kill you to actually have a good time? Jessi huffed and stepped out of my way to pull her

long, red locks up into a high ponytail. She had already perfectly curled it so that when she pulled it up it framed her face nicely and stuck out in all the right places making it look all messy chic. Im sorry, Jess. Just with classes starting tomorrow, and now that Im going to have to keep my grades up to keep my scholarships. Im just stressin I guess. Plus, you know how long it has been since I have actually gone out. I probably dont even remember how to have a good time anymore. I hated being the stick in the mud, but it was true. I was so used to keeping to myself that Id probably lost all the social skills Id once had. And my scholarships were the only thing keeping me here so I couldnt go crazy and have too much of a

good time like most college kids. Jess didnt have to worry about anything like that though. Her parents had saved for her brother and her to go to college since they were born. Mine not so much. I didnt work my ass off all through high school and take AP classes to get here and flunk out. Kels, if anyone can do this its you. You have always been the most driven person I know, Jessi said as she crossed the small dorm room and wrapped me up in a tight hug. It will all work out. I promise. She held up her pinky and I wrapped mine around it. From as far back as I can remember, we had being doing this. It was always our way of letting each other know it was going to be all right. Okay! Thats enough of all this mushy,

stressful talk. Bring on the boys and the booze! And with that, my Jessi was back, and it made me smile. Never too serious for too long. I was sure this bar was going to be full of touchy, drunken, frat boys but what the hell. I could use a drink.

Jessi had called a cab while I finished getting ready, and it pulled up the minute we stepped out of the dorm. We climbed in, and she proceeded to tell the driver the address to the bar we would be going to. I played with my charms out of habit on the short drive over. We ended up in front of black building with a blue and purple neon sign of the word Shots with a shot

glass tipping back forth at the end. Classy, I muttered under my breath as we got out of the cab and went toward the door. Thank God there wasnt a long line, and wed made it to the doorman within a few minutes. Im not one hundred percent sure if he couldnt actually tell our IDs were fake, or if he just didnt care. Either way, he gave us a nod to go on in. We stepped into a dimly lit hallway that led to the actual bar. With each step we took, the music that was playing grew louder and louder. We finally made it to the end of the dark hall and emerged into a sea or different color flashing lights. The bars back home were nothing like this. They were more along the lines of dive bars just an old wooden bar with

everyones uncle sitting around smoking cheap cigars, and drinking cheap beer. Shots to me was more along the lines of nightclub rather than a bar, with its huge dance floor and lounge areas. There are a lot of people here, I shouted into Jessis ear so she could hear me over the music. Yeah, Shots is the closest bar to the college. Everyone always ends up here. Or so I was told. You want to get a drink before we do some dancing? She smiled. I nodded my head. Drinks then dancing. Lets go do this. If I was going to be cramped around all these people for the next few hours, the sooner I got some alcohol in my system, the better. I had always loved dancing. Losing myself in the music. What I didnt love was the

grabby pervs that thought any female dancing alone was fair game to pretty much sexually assault. There were so many people here tonight that I was sure I was going to end up kneeing someone in the balls before the night was over. We walked around the edge of the dance floor and made our way toward a long black bar. Jess waved one of the bartenders over and ordered us a strawberry long island iced tea. After the bartender handed me my drink, I turned around to face the dance floor. It was really hard to tell who was dancing with whom; it just looked like one big, body mass with everyone grinding against each other. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone come up beside Jessi. A quick

glance confirmed it was the guy from the caf earlier that day. I never did ask her his name. I wonder if she even asked him? He leaned down to say something in her ear, and put his hand on her waist, and I watched as she smiled up at him before saying something back in his ear. The music was so loud I couldnt hear what they were talking about, but he smiled back down at her. When she started running her finger back and forth across his chest, I decided Id seen enough. I knew all of Jessis moves, and knew exactly where this was going. But when I went to turn, I found myself face-to-chest with someone. I slowly dragged my eyes up a black vneck shirt, to a small silver hoop wrapped around a lip, and then up to a set of clear,

gray eyes. I remember those eyes. I havent been able to get them out of my mind all day. I had been so distracted by them earlier; Id never even noticed that his lip was pierced. Another thing I never thought I would find attractive but I was beginning to believe this man could make mud look good. Now that he wasnt wearing his ball cap anymore, I could see he had short, dark hair. It was probably black, but I couldnt be sure in the dim lighting of the bar. All I knew was his dark hair was a nice offset to those light gray eyes. Easy there. he said as he reached out to steady me by wrapping his large hands around my upper arms. IIm so sorry, I stutter. Stutter? Ive never stuttered. How can someone

who has literally said two words to me have me acting like a complete moron? Not a problem, he replied with a wide smile causing two deep dimples to sink into each of his cheeks. Oh the dimples. Ive always been a sucker for dimples. My name is Kane. Kane Riley. Kelsey Rien, I told him as I tried not to stare, but it was proving to be impossible for me to do. Hes probably the best looking guy Ive seen in a while. Who am I kidding? Hes probably the best looking Ive seen in all my life. His shirt fit tight on his massive toned arms, and with him standing this close, I could get a better look at the tattoos covering them. I couldnt really make out what any of them were, but I could see that there

wasnt one bit of color to them. Im no tattoo expert, but Im pretty sure that style would be considered black and gray. He finally let go of my armsthat I had forgotten he was holdingand as his arm dropped, it caught a flash of light from the dance floor and I wouldve sworn I caught a face staring back at me from his forearm before it fell to his side. I was still checking out his tattoos when I heard a sultry voice. There you are, Kane. Long time no see, the voice cooed. I dragged my eyes away from his tats to find a very pretty, very angry looking, dark-haired girl glaring at me. Katie. He nodded. Where have you been lately? I havent seen you in a while. She continued her

attempt to carry on the conversation as if I wasnt even standing there. Kane didnt even take his eyes off mine as he replied, Around. Just out tonight with Landon. He nodded to something behind me, so I turned just in time to see Jessis tongue make its way into the mouth of the guy from the caf; but at least I finally have a name for this kid. Id kind of worried I would have to refer to him as Mr. Blue Shirt for the rest of my life. When I turned back around and away from my friends massive form of PDA, I found Kane still staring at me. I felt a blush creep up my chest and gave him a slight smile. Something that didnt go over too well with this Katie. Her eyes narrowed at me as she leaned up to

Kanes ear. Well since its been a while, why dont we get out of here and I rolled my eyes and suppressed a gag as she went on to tell him her great plans in his ear. Kane gave her a little shove but then replied with a smug smile, Sounds like a plan. Ill find you a little later. All right? The Katie girl seductively smiled up at him, and then glared at me before she sashayed off through the bar. He turned to rest his elbows on bar and sighed. Definitely not going there again, he mumbled before taking a swig from a bottle of water. I gave him a questioning look. Didnt he just tell her he would find her later? Sorry about that. He looked over at me and said, She can be a bit clingy.

No need to apologize, I told him. Ill let you get back to your girlfriend. I was just going to get another drink anyway. I twisted around to the bar, ready to flag the bartender over, when I felt a hot body press against my side. Let me get it for you. It can be hard to get the bartenders attention sometimes, He said, leaning in close to my ear. My body involuntarily shivered, and I prayed to God he didnt notice. When I finally composed myself again, I looked down to the other end of the bar, and, sure enough, I see the bartender playing with a strand of blonde hair that belongs to a girl leaning over the bar, giving him full view of her cleavage. Really, Im fine. You better go. She seemed to have big plans for you. I

nodded in the direction the little hussy walked off in. Hussy? Who am I to call this girl a hussy? I dont know her from Eve. But I cant ignore the awful feeling swirling around in my gut that I can only classify as jealousy. Except what do I have to be jealous over? I just met this guy. I dont even know him. The only thing I know is his name is Kane, and that I am no doubt completely attracted to him but I cant for the life of me figure out why. Hes nothing like the type of guys Im used to swooning over. Really, I insist. I could only stare at him and wonder why he would want to make a girl who was obviously ready and willing to roll around in the sheetsprobably dirty

sheets at thatwait on him just to get me a drink? But I didnt linger on that question long, because honestly I didnt want him to go yet. I wanted him to stay there with me, and stay far away from her. Thanks. I nodded and he curled two fingers into his mouth and let out a loud whistle. DAVE! he shouted and threw his arm up in a come-here motion. The bartender raised his head in our direction and gave Kane a smile, before turning back to his lady to tell her what I guessed was goodbye, and made his way to us. So, youre new? I dont think Ive ever seen you around here before, Kane asked, obviously trying to make small talk while we waited for the bartender to get to us.

Yep. Just got here today actually. I start classes Monday at the U with my friend, Jessi I pauseshe would be the one who is currently sucking face with your friend over there. We both looked over to see that they were indeed still going at it. Man, Jess, dont you ever come up for air? She seems nice? he laughed and I couldnt help but also giggle. Jessi was a nice girl but she was also a spitfire and fiercely loyal to the people she loved most. She was a few inches shorter than me, standing around five foot two, but dont let her height fool you. Jessi could beat the shit out of girls twice her size. Believe me, Id seen it. Most of her more recent fights came from defending me in some wayeven though she didnt need

to. It wasnt like I couldnt fight my own battles. That was just Jessi though. You didnt mess with the people she cared about. Well, anyway, they seem to be hitting it off pretty good. If things keep going this way, we may be seeing a lot more of each other. he said as he bumped my shoulder with his. I couldnt help the little smile I got at the thought of seeing more of him. Um, I dont think your girlfriend would like that too much, I said, remembering the evil glare Id gotten earlier just from talking to him. He scrunched his brow and gave me a truly puzzled look. What girlfriend? I waved my arm in the direction that shed strutted off in. The one who is waiting for you to come find her so she

can get you somewhere and get all naked for you. Just thinking about that girl all cozied up to his side made me feel uneasy. I didnt know what it was about him, but I couldnt stop thinking about how those tattooed arms would feel wrapped around me. Holding me tight. And how it would feel to pull that lip ring between my teeth and give it a little tug Who, Katie? he asked, again jarring me from my train of thought that was headed in a seriously steamy direction. I blushed just at the thought of him knowing what I had been thinking about doing to him. Huh? Oh yeah. That was her name I think. I so didnt think. I knew, but I didnt want him to know I was paying

such close attention to anything that involved him. He threw his head back and let out a long laugh, taking me by surprise for a minute. Oh shit, could he see my blush? Did he know what I had been thinking about doing to him? Katie is not my girlfriend, he stated strongly. I narrowed my eyes at him. Oh, dont give me that crap. By the way she had her nails dug into you, I would beg to differ, I argued. If she isnt his girlfriend now, she must have been at some point. You dont get fiercely protective over someone you dont have, or have never had, feelings for. Whether hed had them for her or not, was not the point. Shed clearly had some claim staked on him, and

was not going to let him go without a fight. No really. Shes not. Shes a close friend that I used to have. He finished with a chuckle and I rolled my eyes at his attempt to get out of coming right out and saying she was or used to be his fuck buddy. Well still, I dont get involved with guys who whore around. Which was true. I had never been attracted to the player type. I believed in commitment. I believed in love. And I never understood how some people could give their whole body to someone without knowing for a fact, that person was fully committed to them. He took a step back and grabbed his chest. Im shocked you would make such accusations about me. After all, we did

just meet. He winked. Oh god, did he have to wink? This man oozed enough sex appeal without kicking it up a notch with a sexy-as-hell wink. So are you going to tell me you dont? I held firm in my argument. I was going to figure out as much about this man as I could. This crazy attraction had shaken me up, and I didnt want it leading me down a dead-end road. No, actually, I dont whore around as you so crudely put it. He bumped my shoulder in a joking manner. I guess letting me know he wasnt truly offended by my statement. I simply take enjoyment in the company of beautiful women from time to time, and they take enjoyment in me I might add. He finished with a big smile. Ugh. Youre impossible.

Oh, come on. You have to get to know me. You might find out that Im actually a pretty good time. He waggled his eyebrows and I felt the need to slap them right off his face. Who did he think he was? I am so NOT having sex with you, perv! I all but shouted, and then glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention to us. I couldnt believe I had just shouted that out like that. He was downright infuriating. He seemed to find my outburst quite amusing and laughed back to me, I never said anything about sex. Now did I? I just thought we could be friends. You took that to a whole new level. He paused then cocked his head sideways. Now whos the perv? He finished, taking another

long sip from a bottle of water. I could feel my face heat up. Damn he had me there. He never said anything about sleeping together. I had made that assumption on my own. Maybe wishful thinking on my part? Just being around him for five minutes had me dunking my mind in the gutter. Who am I becoming around this stranger? Okay then, how about we start over? I said, flipping my brown locks over each of my squared shoulders and stuck out my hand. Kelsey Rien. Nice to meet you. He looked at my hand for a second, then back up to my face. He knocked my hand away, and then scooped me up in a bear hug. Friends dont shake hands. Friends hug! I laughed and returned the hug. When I

pulled back and smiled up at him, he was looking down at me with a smile on his fa c e . Damn, there are those dimples again. What am I getting myself into? Before the embrace had ended, a shouting and shoving match had started up behind me. Kanes head whipped up fast, and before I knew it, I was standing behind him. Taking a peek around his arm, I could see two guys shove at each before one took a swing. Kane automatically grabbed my hand and led me through the crowd, toward the hallway and front entrance. I need you to go outside. Its going to get crazy and you dont need to be here. He squatted down a little so he could look directly into my eyes. But my friend is still in here! I cant

leave without her! I was franticly scanning the crowd looking for any sign of Jessi or the Landon guy she had been checking the tonsils of earlier. Kanes head shot up to search for our missing friends in the crowd too. Having no luck locating them, he grabbed a chair and hopped onto it, craning his neck searching the crowd. After a few seconds, he brought two fingers up to his mouth and let out another long, loud whistle. Yo! Landon! Over here! he shouted. My head jerked in the direction hed yelled because I still couldnt find Jessi. Suddenly, I felt the impact of a body colliding with mine, knocking me to the ground on my tail. I immediately felt sharp pains shoot from my tailbone up my spine, and I couldnt stop the yelp that came from

my mouth. Kane was off his chair in seconds, scooping me up off the floor. Holding me tight to his chest, he carried me over to the chair he had been standing on and gently sat me down. Crouching in front of me, he lightly placed his hands on my knees. Oh my god, Kelsey, are you okay? I never should have left you standing there alone. Are you hurt? Do you have a lot of pain? He kept bombarding me with questions, never really giving me time to answer before he would ask another. Finally, I just decided nodding was the best thing to do in this scenario. He must have been okay with that, because he stood and stalked over to the very intoxicated guy that had bumped me and grabbed him by his collar.

Watch where youre going next time, asshole. I ought to just teach you a little life lesson right here and now. When you cause harm to a female, you apologize, he seethed. Kane, stop! Its okay! Im fine, really! I shouted at him. His head turned to me and I saw fire in his eyes. He was clearly still fuming. Luckily for the other guy, the bouncers came running in and dragged the man away before Kane could do more than just yell at the guy. Kane, dude. You cant be doing that shit, one of the bouncers said to him. Do you want to get fired? No confrontation. Just get them out the door. You know this, he added. Fired? Fired from what? I lost it, Eddie. Im okay now, he said

to him before turning back to me. All the fire that had been in his eyes was slowly diminishing. Almost as if he flipped a switch on all that rage and it was now gone. I watched him take a few deep breaths before coming back over to me. Look, Im sorry about that. He glanced around the bar, which seemed to finally be emptying out. Things seem to be under control now. You should have no problem getting out of here and Ive got to get back to work. Maybe Ill see you around sometime, he said, before walking away toward a black door that was labeled Staff Only. That is so weird. He works here? I couldnt ponder on that question long, because another body assaulted me, but this one was much tinier and smelled a

hell of a lot nicer. Oh. My. God. Kels! There you are! I was worried sick! I lost you in all the commotion. Are you all right?! Jessi was frantically giving my body a once over. Im fine, Jess, just got knocked down by some drunk guy. Not like I havent seen worse or been in a worse situation. I watched as all the color drained from her face and I immediately regretted my statement. Boy, I shouldnt have said that. Now she would start her worried best friend bit and I would see no peace tonight. Really, Jess. Im fine. I tried to assure her. Hoping with everything in me she would let this go. Where did that guy go? I attempted to change the subject. It always seemed to help. Bring a guy into

the scenario and Jessis mind would wonder. For a second she didnt seem like she would take the bait but sure enough, Oh, Kelsey! Isnt he gorgeous? I told you he was totally gorgeous! She let out a high pitched squee. Yes, Jess hes a cutie. But where did he go? Oh, right! He left, she said as she backed away from where I was sitting so I could stand. Said he had to go check on his friend. He went in that door over there that says Staff Only but Im pretty sure he doesnt work here. She shrugged and we began to make our way toward the hall that led to the entrance doors. Kane? I questioned. What? His friend. Was his name Kane? I

asked again, even though I was quite positive I already knew the answer. I dont know. I didnt ask. He just told me he would call me later and went off through the barshe pausedWhy would you ask? Oh no, Ive done gone and done it now. No reason, really. I was just talking with this guy before the fight broke out. He said he was a friend of the guy you were swapping saliva with. He seemed kind of upset before he left. There, maybe that will be enough to pacify her so she wont ask any more questions. And you just met him, right? Short chat you say? Not buying it. SPILL! You wouldnt have even brought him up if there wasnt some interest there. She

grinned knowing she had caught me. Damn her and how well she knows me. So what if I hadnt stopped thinking about this guys eyes all day and he just so happened to show up at the bar and we ended up hitting it off pretty well. He obviously wasnt really interested since he had just taken off like that. Really, Jess, it was no biggie. I got knocked down. He picked me up. Got pretty heated at the guy who knocked me down. Then left. End of story. When I replay it all back, it really didnt sound like a big deal at all. Why am I obsessing over this guy so much? He probably changed his mind after seeing what I klutz I am and went running over begging for that good time with Katie. Im just sayin, Kels. You never really

talk to guys. Let alone have a conversation with one then go on to talk about them later. Youre finally coming around to the world of make outs, hookups, and all around awesomeness that is MEN. She said as she threw her arm around my shoulder and we walked out into the night air, back toward school. I rolled my eyes at her, but did feel a slight smile pulling at the side of my mouth. No, I had never really been one to hookup, or even date for that matter, but if I was ever willing to think about changing my mind on the subject, Kane would be a perfect candidate to try it out on. Come on, slut puppy. Lets get back to the dorms so I can get out of these clothes and you can go on to tell me all about how your new friend tastes. Cause Lord knows

Im going to hear all about it til I fall asleep. And I did.

I was actually awake before my alarm went off the next morning. For some reason I had slept very sound the night before. Must have been all the commotion from the bar. Wore me out I guess. At least I was up before Jessi, which meant I got first shower and could stand in the steamy water and let it wash away all the soreness from the fall I had taken the night before. Today was the last day of freedom before classes started tomorrow morning. I needed to make a run to the bookstore. Then we needed to get a few items for the

mini fridge. Our plans for the day really didnt consist of much more than pizza, girly movies and being lazywhile we still could anyway. When I finally emerged from my nice steamy shower, I wrapped a towel around my body, and then headed into the room. I found Jessi sitting up in her bed, her back resting against her headboard, with a big cheesy smile on her face. She was staring down at her phone typing out a message. When she finished, she sighed and scooted to the edge of the bed. Hes so sweet, Kels. Look at the text I woke up to from him this morning. She started waving her phone around in the air, never actually holding it still long enough for me to read anything on the tiny screen.

Yeah, hes a real sweetheart, I said as I walked over to my closet and pulled out my favorite Rolling Stones t-shirt. It had been my moms and I had worn it so much that it was becoming threadbare, but I could never bring myself to part with it. I paired it with a dark pair of denim shorts and my black Chucks. I had always been a Chuck girl. While I did enjoy being girly, wearing makeup, and getting dolled up from time to time this was normal style. I had Jessis closet to raid for all other occasions. Speaking of Jessi, who was still sitting on her bed gawking at her phone, I threw my towel at her head. You better get up and start getting ready. I know its going to take you forever and I would like to make it to the bookstore before it gets swamped

with people. She let out another long sigh before finally heading toward the bathroom. After a minute or so, I heard the shower start and I finished getting myself ready. The trip to the campus store had been an adventure all by itself. While I was worried about getting all the books I was required to have, and trying to anticipate the supplies I might need, Jessi was too busy looking at cute hoodies and pajama bottoms. Not like she was in any short supply of clothes, though. She was currently using half of my closet and drawers. After finally getting my essentials, we made a quick stop at a local grocery store, stocking up on water and snack foods before heading back to our dorm to order

some pizza. We planned on pigging out and watching movies til we crashed. We had watched a few of our favorite Channing Tatum movies before I decided to call it a night. I wanted to make sure I got plenty of sleep so I wouldnt be dragging for my first day of classes. As I crawled into my bed, the ping of Jessis cell alerting her of a text caught my attention. For a minute I questioned who she was texting so much but my gut told me it was Landon. She had managed to put her phone down while we watched our movies, but every time it would vibrate, her eyes would shift to look at it, and I knew her palm had to be itching to pick it up and see what he had said. That had been another reason I decided

to call it an early night. Who was I to keep her from sexting some guy she barely knew? At least I would be asleep shortly and wouldnt have to listen to her giggles every time a new text came in. But every time her phone chimed I couldnt help but wonder, if she was talking to Landon where was Kane? Where is Kane? Why in the hell did I even think that? He was probably off playing doctor with that girl from the bar, or any other girl for that matter. He was attractive enough to probably have his pick of anyone in this whole town. I was surprised he had wasted any of his time talking to me. While Kane was everything I thought I would never want, there was still a nagging at the back of my mind telling me I

couldnt be sure of what I wanted. It wasnt like I had a whole lot of past boyfriends to know what my type was. Here I waseighteen, and I had never even had a steady boyfriend before. Dont get me wrong. I wasnt a prude. It wasnt like I had never been kissed. But it was hard to find a relationship when everyone in town pitied you. Another reason I withdrew from everyone I once knew. I didnt need their pity. What I needed was my mom. And I didnt have her anymore. I hated thinking about my mom before falling asleep, because almost every time I did, the nightmares of what had happened that night would follow. The guilt that almost consumed me daily, and the grief I hadnt truly let myself feel, were enough to nearly cripple me. I didnt need to add

exhaustion on top of that from staying awake all hours of the night, for fear that every time I closed my eyes I would be back there, in that moment, living it all over again. I couldnt handle that. Not now. Tomorrow was a new beginning. I needed this. I would start over freshfor her.

I had managed to make it through the night without any nightmares and awoke the next morning before Jessi, again. I softly crept across the floor, trying my best not to wake her. I wanted to shower first like I did yesterday, but this time I didnt take my time in the shower. I was too full of nervous energy and anticipation

for my first class. I just wanted to get ready and get this day started. My nerves had me hoping I hadnt bit off more than I could chew with the classes I had picked. All the AP courses I had taken in high school had given me a slight advantage, making me feel a little more at ease about what was in store for me. But I knew nothing would compare to the real deal. This was college after all. There would be no second chances. It was up to me to make something of myself now. Classes for the first part of the morning had gone as smoothly as I could have hoped for. The professors seemed to be really nice, but still had that no nonsense air about them. We, the students, of course got the expected speeches on how we

were no longer in high school, and how they would not baby us and so on and so forth. By midday I was starving. I had never been a breakfast person. A piece of toast every now and then was my breakfast of choice and I could usually make it all morning on that and not be hungry. But classes ran a little longer now then what they did in high school, and by the time I had I had a break it was a little past one oclock and I was famished. I made my way to the cafeteria, knowing Jessi would already be there waiting for me. Our tour the day before had shown us that her class was closer to the caf and let out earlier than mine, so we agreed that we would just meet there and eat together as soon as my class was over.

I was hurrying along, looking down over the syllabus from the last class when I collided with something hard. Great! The first thing that ran through my mind was that I had just walked into a door like an idiot. I slowly raised my head, expecting everyone around to be rolling with laughter. But with my head fully elevated, I saw that I had not just crashed into a door. No, instead of a door I was staring at a broad back in a white shirt. I automatically ducked my head again and began apologizing to the poor person I had just plowed into. Im so sorry; I wasnt watching where I was going. Glancing up when I didnt get a response, I watched as the person I had

run into turned around and slowly pulled his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose until they were resting on the tip. Man that seemed familiar. So we meet again, beautiful. Ya know, just because you got run over the other night, that does not justify mowing down anyone you come in contact with today, Kane laughed. I should have known, that was just my luck. I would go crashing into him to further prove my klutz-like tendencies. Wait. Did he just call me beautiful? Oh please, if I could mow you over with you being four times my size, then I would say its well deserved. I needed to be snarky with him. If I wasnt, I would probably end up stuttering like a mad woman and make an even bigger fool of

myself then I already had. Now that I was standing this close to him in the clear light of day, I could see all his glorious features. He wasnt wearing a ball cap again and even though his hair was cut pretty short I could still tell the color was black. And in the bright sunshine his eyes gleamed like someone had poured mercury into his irises. They were completely mesmerizing. Are you calling me fat? He questioned, pulling my attention away from his eyes. What were we talking about again? I dont take to kindly to that. This school has zero tolerance when it comes to bullyingdo I need to report you? He raised one eyebrow at me, and our earlier conversation came rushing back.

I leaned in close, glaring at him from under my lashes. Tattle tale, I whispered. It was so nice to be able to banter with him. It had been so long since I was able to cut loose with someone other than Jessi or her family. Like I said, people back home tiptoed around me. I tried to make everyone more comfortable so they wouldnt feel the need to do so, but no matter what I did, I never changed anything so I eventually just gave up trying. Seeing him again reminded me about how hed rushed off the other night, and I blurted out, Hey, how are you? You were pretty heated at the bar and then you just took offI was kind of worried about you. I could slap myself for divulging

that last little bit of information. Sure, it might have been true, but now he was going to run off screaming into the night thinking I was some sort of stalker freak. Worried about me, huh? One side of his mouth pulled up into a sly smile and I watched as a lone dimple sank deep into his cheek. Usually when you think of dimples you think cuteness, but on a man like Kane, they were far from cuteHe was the epitome of sex appeal. I rolled my eyes at his question and stepped around him, continuing on to the cafeteria. I was still very hungry and now I wasnt going to have a lot of time to eat before my next class began. Kane fell into step with me, but as we reached the doors to the caf, he paused. I turned to look at him, and watched as the smile he had been

wearing slowly slid from his face. Im sorry I ran off like I did. It was a dick move. He rubbed the back of his neck and his gray eyes held mine. Sometimes I lose hold on my temper. I really dont like to do that and to do it around a female, well, thats unforgiveable. My Paw would have my head for it. It was best I just removed myself from the equation. God, I didnt even make sure you got home safe. I could see guilt written all over his face, and it surprised me. Why would he be so worried about seeing to it that a random girl he had just met made it home safely? Its not a problem, really. Jess and I walked home right after. No bad guys jumped out of the shadows and snatched us up, or anything like that, I

joked to try and bring back the lighthearted mood from earlier. He nodded, but something told me it was just for showbut he was willing to drop the subject and I was fine with that. After a minute, I turned back toward the doors, but before I could pull one open, his voice stopped me. Hey, let me at least get your lunch to make up for that night, all right? he asked, and pulled one of the doors open so we could both enter. As soon as my eyes adjusted to the dimmer lighting in the caf, I immediately spot Jessi. She also had some company at the table with her in the form of Landon. Well, seeing as we are more than likely going to be sitting at the same table todayI nodded in the couples

directionI guess Ill take you up on that. I smiled at him, pulling my long hair over one of my shoulders, and watch his eyes as they glance down at my now exposed neck, but he quickly jerks them away and begins looking around the room. An odd feeling forms in the pit of my stomach from the way he was looking at my neck, but I write it off to being completely famished. We made our way around the various different foods being offered that day. As hungry as I was, everything sounded and smelled remarkably good. I finally decided on a nice, juicy, greasy, burger and fries and called out my order to the cafeteria lady. I stepped back, giving Kane room to make his order. When he didnt proceed to tell her what he wanted,

I looked over at him and see him just staring at memouth slightly open, just staring away. I started feeling a little uncomfortable and finally bark at him, What?! Do I have something on my facein my hairin my teeth?! What is it?! Why are you looking at me like that? He shook his head slightly, almost as though he was trying to bring himself out of a daze, and then grabbed his stomach and laughed. His laughter did nothing to help with the fear that I did in fact have some kind of gunk somewhere on my body. Immediately, one of my hands went to my hair and I started running my fingers through it, making sure to smooth it down and feel for whatever filth must have been stuck in therethe other began rubbing at

my face, trying to wipe away whatever had him howling with laughter. When his laughter finally halted, he slowly reached over and took my hand into his. First, there is nothing in your silky hair, on your beautiful face, or in your perfectly straight teeth. Bringing my hand away from my head, he dropped our arms, but didnt let go just yet. I was simply in a state of shock from your order. And before you go and get all selfconscious, I dont mean that in the way you are thinking. Usually when you offer to buy girls lunch, they get nervous about what they eat in front of you. So they order a green salad just because they think that will make them look skinnier or some shit, when really, all they want is that cheeseburgerhe winked at meSo,

you skipping over the bullshit is really refreshing. He let go of my hand, and the cool air hitting it made me miss the warmth of his. You ask to buy me lunch right? Well, thats exactly what youre going to do. Grass doesnt really constitute as a meal, in my opinion. If Im going to eat, then damn it I want some meat in there. My belly growled further proving I say exactly what I mean. Well then, beautiful, lets get that food and get some seats before you go all ravenous beast on me over that burger, huh? he laughed. I realized then that I love his laugh. He had one of those contagious laughs that you couldnt help but smile when you heard it. It was so deep and full, like he

always means it when he laughs about something. Means it when he laughs? Really Kelsey? What does that even mean? Being close with Kane was going to make me question my sanity. I had the most idiotic thoughts whenever he was near. We got our food and headed over to the table that Jessi and Landon were already seated at. The table had quite a few more people seated at it than what it had when we first came in, but there were still two empty seats saved directly across from Jess and Landon. We walked to the seats, and before I could set my tray down, Kane was pulling my chair out for me. You never see men pull chairs out for women these days and you definitely wouldnt expect it from someone who looks like

Kane. With his facial piercing and tattoos, he looks more like a person who would be jerking the chair away as you went to sit so that your ass would hit the floor. I gently sat down in my chair and cast quick glances in his direction as he gave the chair a little push in toward the table. I watched as he grabbed his chair and spun it around backward before straddling it, and going about separating the ginormous amount of food he had piled on his tray. When I finally pulled my eyes away from Kane, I saw Jessi staring at me with a questioning smile on her face. She ever so slightly tilted her head in Kanes direction, and I gave her leg a swift kick under the table. Ow! Shit! What the hell? Landon let out a wail, and reached under the table to

rub his leg. Oops. So much for kicking Jessis leg. I was mortally embarrassed and didnt know how I was going to explain that one. Luckily for me, I had a kickass best friend who was fast to swoop in and cover for me. Im so sorry! That was me. I had a little cramp and went to stretch and I guess reflexes kicked in and bam! Shin kick. She batted her eyes, and the look on his face clearly showed that he was so infatuated with what she was sayinghe didnt really care what his shin felt like anymore. This is my friend, Kelsey, by the way. Only then did he take his eyes off her and turn them toward me. I gave him a slight wave and smile that he returned and

I watched his eyes shift between Kane and me for a split second before coming back to rest on me. Kanes body went ridged beside me, and I pulled my eyes away from Landon to look at him. He was glaring at Landon, but when he caught me looking acted as if nothing had happened and continued to eat his food. So, how were classes this morning, Kels? Is college everything you ever dreamed it would be? Jess sarcastically clasped her hands together and pulled them up to her neck, fluttering her eyelashes as she did so. Knowing Jessis playful nature, I played right back, throwing both hands against my heart before sighing, Oh you wouldnt believe it, Jessica! There are so many new things to learn here! My

goodness, I didnt believe such a place existed! I drawled in my best Scarlett O'Hara accent. We both laughed and I shrugged. No seriously, classes were okay. The professors are trying to play hard asses but I think I can handle it. I dipped my fry into some ketchup and popped it into my mouth. Mine were so boring, Jess flung her tiny body back against the chair and sighed, If they stay this way all year I dont know how Im going to make it. For serious, when the first teacher was speaking, all I head was wha wha wha you knowjust like that teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoon! No joke, I cant handle a year of that and its only the first day! Jessi had never been the studious one in

our duo. Not saying Jessi wasnt smart, she was brilliant and she always made good grades. She just lacked the drive to apply herself fully when it came to school work. At that moment I would just chalk her attitude up to first day blues and the fact that she had been up late texting Landon. I knew she would regret not getting enough sleep, but honestly, Jessi could sleep half the day away and it still wouldnt be enough sleep for her. Im just glad we are at least in the next class together. Maybe you can keep me awake in this one. She winked. I was really excited to have a class with her. In high school I had taken all the AP courses I could, while Jessi had taken only the classes she was required to in order to graduate.

Oh, by the way who is your friend here, Kels? Caught up in the distraction of class talk, Id totally forgotten to introduce Kane. UmI cleared my throatThis is Kane. Kane, this is my best friend, Jessi. I waved my hand in the air back and forth between them. Nice to meet you. Kane extended his hand toward Jessi, and I watched her check out his tattoo sleeve as she shook his hand. Nice tats. Kels and I were supposed to go get one together but havent made it there yet. Maybe you can recommend a place for us, Jessi throws out there. We had never fully agreed on this matter. Sure we discussed getting them, but never actually said the words, yeah lets do

this. His brother does all mine. Kane nodded toward Landon. I can set you all up with a consult if ya want. Landon shrugs. Before I could even open my mouth to tell him no thanks, we were not fully committed to even getting the tattoos Jessi squealed and threw her arms around his neck. As soon as she began thanking him, I knew anything I said to her right now would fall on deaf ears. Someone bumped my shoulder, and I turned to see Kane watching me. Whats wrong with you? You look like someone just ran over your dog. Im not sure hes even noticed how his body has gravitated toward mine. But right now, Im so focused on him and the warmth of his

body pressed against me, I can hardly think about anything else. We just hadnt really agreed on getting them yet is all. Jessi and I had always thought it would be the cool best friend thing to do, and get our first tattoos together. I wanted one but knew I had to get something I would never regret. I had bounced around tattoo ideas often, but there was one I always went back to. So how is this weekend for yall? Landons question caught me by surprise and my eyes bulged. This ... this weekend? I managed to squeak out. Its perfect! Jess exclaimed, slapping her hand down on the table and causing me to jump. Gives chicken shit over there

less time to change her mind. She looked at me and gave me a quick wink. Yeah, she knew I was going to kill her for that later. All right then, Ill text him after my next class to set it all up. Landon beamed at Jessi. That boy was completely smitten with her and I really hoped she felt the same. It wasnt hard to see that if she didnt, it would crush him. I finally glanced down at my watch and saw that I had ten minutes before my next class began. It wasnt far from the cafeteria, but being the first day, I wanted to get there early and get a good seat. I wiped my hands on a napkin and scooted my chair back as I grabbed for my tray, but it was swiped away at the last second by Kane who was standing beside me with

a big goofy grin on his face. I got it for ya, he stated and started walking off in the direction of the trashcansnot even waiting for my response. I grabbed my bag and looked over to see Jessi trying to hold back a laugh. See you in a few. Save me a seat! she called out to me. Shaking my head, I started making my way through the tables and people, following the ginormous tattooed man who insisted on carrying my tray for me. In the last hour, Kane had shown a side of him that just from his outwardly appearance I would have never known existed. Who could have guessed that someone with Kanes appearance, would have such good manners? I guess the saying Dont

judge a book by its cover was one hundred percent true. Kane was a walking, talking example of that. After dumping our trays, he turned around to face me. So where is your next class? Wickham Hall, I said as I adjusted the strap of my bag on my shoulder. Reaching over, Kane slipped the strap down my arm, taking my bag and placing the strap over his shoulder instead. I can do stuff on my own you know? I glared at him and placed one hand on my hip. This doing stuff for me before asking me was going to get real old, real fast. I know that. I just want to do this for you okay? He shrugged and pushed open the door, signaling for me to head out in front of him.

We silently made our way to class, but it wasnt an awkward silence that you would usually you get walking side by side with a person you barely knew. Kane had this way about him that made me feel completely at ease when he was near. Jessi had been my best friend all my life, and I didnt get the calm and comforting feelings with her like I got while I was around Kane. Which made this whole situation even crazier. Id known this man all of five minutes. Didnt you have to get to know someone before you were even the least bit comfortable around them? Finally deciding to break the silence, I asked, So what are you majoring in? Smooth Kelsey real smooth. Way to pick the most obvious and boring topic ever!

Pulling his trusty aviators from the collar of his white V-neck shirt, he slid them on before answering me, Business. I want to open my own bar someday. Wow. I was a little taken back at first. Really? I would have never pegged you as a business major actually now that Im thinking about itI dont know what I really pegged you as. I finished with a laugh and prayed I didnt offend him in some way. I mean, just from his outwardly appearance, you wouldnt even really expect him to go to collegelet alone already know what he is majoring in and what he plans to do with that major. I know it was just my first day of actual classes, but the fact that I wasnt sure what I wanted to major in was driving me crazy. All my life my one goal was just to

make it to college. There wasnt much thought beyond that point. I just knew I needed to get here and now that I was here I wasnt sure what was next. Although, child services had always been in the back of my mind. Not living in the best environment growing up may have played a big part in that. I wanted children that were growing up in an environment like I had, to get help sooner. Memories of my past came rushing back and chilled me to the bone. No one should ever go through what I did. If I could keep just one childs life from becoming what mine had been, that would give me a sense of accomplishment. The horrors of my past were not something I liked to focus on these days though. No matter how hard I wished for it, what had been done could

not be undone. So who is your professor? Kane asked, pulling me from my painful trip down memory lane. Um, Hanson. I hear shes a real hard ass. Im actually a little nervous, to be honest. We had finally made it to the door of the class and I took a quick peek inside to see if the notorious teacher was inside. I didnt see her, but I did see a few people already taking their seats. Ah, shes not all that hard. Ill let you in on a little secret, but you are sworn to secrecyHe leaned in so close to my ear that his hot breath tickled the small hairs on the side of my neckits all an act. He pulled back and my eyes flew open funny how I never even noticed they had

closed in the first place. He crossed his arms and leaned against the door facing the class. She likes to be all tough and give hard lectures the first few days making people think they are in for one hell of a hard class. Then she lets up after all the ones panic and drop her class because they think itll be too rough. Her class was actually one of my favorites. Well, at least that calmed my nerves a little bit. I had heard some horror stories about this woman and her obscene amount of work she gave out. Now that I knew it was all a ruseall I could think was, well played madam well played. Feeling better about how this class was going to go, I held my hand out for my bag that Kane was still holding. Thanks for walking me to class, and carrying my

bag. I mean, really, what else can I say? This is moving into first datekiss or dont kiss on the doorstepterritory. Before things could get any more awkward, Kane handed over my bag and I turned to head into class. I had made it all of two steps in before I felt a light baseball-type slap right on my ass. Whipping around, I caught sight of Kane walking backwards out of the class, holding up both hands with a smile on his face so huge both dimples were clearly visible. Go get em tiger. Give that class hell! He winked before turning and disappeared from the doorway. I could feel the biggest smile on my face as I shook my head; I might not have known him long, but he was sure growing

on me. I couldnt remember smiling this much in such a long time. There was just something about him that pulled you in and made you comfortable around him. And it was refreshing to finally meet new people and have them get to know Kelsey not that girl Kelsey with the fucked up past.

After deciding on a seat, I slid in and began pulling my laptop from my bag, when my ink pen fell out and rolled across the floor. I stretched as far as I could, trying to catch it before it rolled too far; but when it was almost in my reach, I started to slip from the chair. Oh, no. This is going to be embarrassing. One cheek slipped from the edge of the chair, before the rest of my body followed suit. I braced myself for the impact of my body colliding with the floorbut it never came. All I felt was two large hands

sliding under me and catching me mere inches from the floor. And Im so embarrassed that I dont even want to look up at the person who was now cradling me like a small child. Only after I heard his voice did I raise my head. That could have been bad, A deep voice lightly chuckled. With me still in his arms, I could feel the vibrations from his chest as he laughed. It also reminded me that I was being held by a stranger making the whole situation completely awkward. Finally turning to face him, I was met with his gorgeous eyes. They were so blue and clear, I almost questioned if they were even his real color, or if he was wearing colored contacts.

People had always told me my eyes were beautiful and unique. While their golden honey color was not very common, I hated them. They served as a reminder of what he did to me, to u s . I had contemplated colored contacts for myself from time to time, but contacts would not change the fact that I had his eyes. Realizing I was still in this guys arms, I untangled my body from his hold and hurried to stand. Who just lets some stranger hold them for an unknown amount of time like that? Oh yeah, thats right, me! Because obviously Im all kinds of weird like that. When we were both vertical, he held out his hand to me. My names Nate, by the way. I tentatively reached out my hand to

shake his, and take a good look at him. Hes extremely good lookingas are most the boys Ive met here so far. What, did I sign up to go to Abercrombie College, and didnt know it? Sheesh. How was it possible that every guy here looked like he just stepped right out of a GQ magazine? Perfect hair, perfect teeth, and perfect clothes. This was beginning to be just a tad bit ridiculous. Kelsey. I nodded. Completely mortified, I began to collect my things and throw them back into my bag. When I finally took my seat again, I buried my face in my hands to hide my embarrassment and sent up a silent prayer that this class would pass quickly. I slowly lowered my hands to the desk when I felt a light tap on my shoulder, and

turned to find Nate standing therewith a tampon in his hand. At first Im a little taken aback, not really understanding why he would be holding a tampon and then I feel my heart drop to my stomach when I realize its the same brand I use. Fuck my life. Clearing his throat, he leaned down close to whisper in my ear, I believe this belongs to you. Really? Is this really happening right now? What is my deal today? Are the Gods out to get me and curse me as the girl who would forever go around doing embarrassing shit and making a fool of herself in front of good looking men for the rest of my life? Well, it couldnt get any worse. Might as well suck it up and get it over with. I

mean, what else did I have to lose? The man was standing there holding my tampon, after all. Thanks, I said as I retrieved the tampon from his hand, dropping it into my bag. I was never going to live this down. I just knew it. And thanks for, um, catching me, I added. Not a problem. He smiled. He had a nice smile. I bet money it had taken years of orthodontists appointments to get a smile like that. So, youre not from around here are you? he questioned. Obviously, he was trying to change the subject away from the fiasco that was my life. No, Im not. Im actually from a town a few hours away. My best friend Jessi and I dorm over in Hager.

Nice. Thats one of the nicer dorms here. He winked. So, is this your first year? It was apparent it wasnt if he knew which dorm buildings were better than the other but might as well ask to keep the conversation going, right? Nah, this is my third year. I dont live in the dorms though. Im part of the KZB fraternity, so I live in the frat house. Fraternity boy, huh? To me, fraternity boys always signified drunken, assgrabbing, Neanderthals. Nate, however, didnt look that part by any means. He looked more along the lines of a trust fund baby who probably drove a Lexus or BMW. Definitely not as though he would be doing keg stands every other night in what was, quite possibly, a filthy house

surrounded by a crowd of fellow drunken Neanderthals cheering and fist pumping him on every step of the way. Im sorry, but you dont really strike me as the fraternity type, I admitted. Really now? Why is that? He crossed his arms over his chest and smiled. He smiled, thats good. Smiling is good. It means I didnt offend him. I should really walk around with a warning that says, Hi, my name is Kelsey. Let me go ahead and insert my foot in my mouth before our conversation has even begun. I dont know, really. When I think frats I think National Lampoon's Animal House. I shrugged. He surprised me by barking out a laugh and grabbing his stomach. Oh man, thats a good one. I could get offended but I am

enjoying the fact that you have actually s e e n Animal House too much for that. Actually, my frat is nothing like that. We are more along the lines of, join the frat because your father was in it. It also helps you gain great connections to further your schooling and career. Like in my case, one of my brothers fathers has the in for a med school I plan to attend. Every little connection helps, right? That did make sense. Id also seen the movi e The Skulls, so I guess I could understand that all frats were not full of raging horny guys, hell bent on seeing how many beer cans they could crush against their skull before passing out. So you said youre not from around here right? I saw you walk in with Kane Riley. You know him before enrolling

here or something? While I didnt see how my knowing Kane had anything to do with him, I figured there was no point in questioning it. No I didnt know him before starting here. We just met the other night actually. Thats cool. Kane and I are friends. We actually rushed together, but he dropped us last year. He still comes to some of the parties every now and then, though. If picturing Nate in a frat was hard, picturing Kane in oneespecially the one that Nate had describedwas almost down right impossible. Kane and Nate, appearance-wise, were polar opposites. Kane with his tattoos, piercing, biker boots andfrom what I had seen so far

monotone wardrobe, didnt fit the whole frat-for-connections type. Nate, on the other hand, in his baby blue polo, tan slacks and Sperry Top-Siders, I could see. Jessi decided to come rushing into class at that time. I could tell from the blush on her face and swollen Ive been making out hard lips, that she had been putting off coming into class until the very last minute to spend as much time with Landon as possible. She came bouncing up to me with a massive grin on her face. So, wheres my seat, chick? Did I miss anything? She pulled a small mirror and tube of lip-gloss from her purse, and began touching up her makeup. Yep, she really needed it too, a smearing of pink gloss covered the areas around her lips from her extra-curricular sucking face

activates. When she was finally done putting herself back in order, she glanced up at me, and then Nate. Well hello there, she purred at him. Yes, Nate was good looking, any girl in her right mind would agree so Jessis flirting was to be expected. Nate. He nodded and reached out his hand to shake hers like he had done for me. This is my friend, Jessi I was just telling you about. I went ahead and introduced her. Just telling him about, huh? So you have been talking about me? Jess bumped her hip with mine. Yes, Jessi. He now knows your date of birth, social security number, and first

pets name.I pausedI was just telling him how I came to school here with my best friend. Oh, I see. Well, I hope that you also told him that your best friend was super hot and had a winning personality. She smiled We all took our seats when the teacher finally came in to class and called our attention to the front of the room. Less than a minute later, I felt Jessi lean over toward my desk. We have been here a few days, Kels a few days, and you already have all the boys falling over you. Damn girl, didnt I tell you. I rolled my eyes. She was crazy. So I had made a few new friends and they just so happened to be male. That didnt mean

anyone was falling over me. Hush, and get back in your seat before you get us in trouble on our first day of class, I hissed back at her while never taking my eyes off the front of the room. She held up both hands as she leaned back into her seat. Im just saying, Kels. These boys want them some Kelsey. Bad. I rolled my eyes again. Sure they did. Even if that were true, once any guy really got to know all about me and my past, things would eventually change. You cant carry around baggage like I have and there not be repercussions for it. I wasnt like your average eighteen year old. I had seen things that had changed me, broke me. It would take a special kind of man to love a person as broken as me. But even if I found that man, I wasnt so sure my

damaged heart could give him that love in return.

When class was over, I shut down my laptop and placed it in my bag. Overall, the class had been just as Kane described. Her syllabus and standards were pretty high, so I was praying he was right about it getting easier after a few classes. I really wanted to take her class, but I was already feeling a little overwhelmed. As Jess and I headed out the door, I felt someone fall into step with me and turned to find Nate. Well what did you think about the class? She seems like shes going to be pretty tough, huh? He playfully bumped

my shoulder and smiled. Well I happen to have the inside scoop on her, and I believe we can handle anything she throws at us, I said to him. Well, if you have the inside scoop, it looks like well be spending a lot of time together in there then. We may need to partner up on a few projects, he joked back. As we exited the class, we ran into Landon who quickly whisked Jessi away while she giggled a farewell to me, and something about catching up with me later. I shook my head and laughed at the two. You would never have known they just met a few days ago from the way they were with each other. When I looked away from Jessi and Landons retreating figures, I saw Kane.

He was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his broad chest. His arms completely fascinated me, thanks to the intricate designs of the tats adorning them. I couldnt believe Id never really noticed tattoos before Kane. Each one was like its own miniature work of art. Kind of like when you see people go to art shows and stand there and stare for long periods of time on one particular painting. I could do that with Kanes tattoos. I wanted to know all about them. I wanted to know if each one held a secret story behind it, or represented something special in his life. And if I was being completely honest with myself, I just wanted to know Kane. All about him, every detail. When we finally locked eyes, Kane pushed off the wall and strode toward

Nate and me. His eyes kept shifting back and forth between the two of us, before finally settling on me as he finished his short walk. Hey He scratched at the back of his neckI thought Id see if you wanted to grab a cup of coffee or something. If this is your last class, I mean. He cast his eyes back toward Nate, who was currently glaring at Kane. Man, boys could be so weird sometimes. Clearing my throat to get Kanes attention again, I said, Um, sure. That sounds great. I just need to run back to the dorm and drop my things off. I should also tell Jessi where Ill be. You want to meet me on the front steps in fifteen minutes or so? A small smile tugged at the corner of

his lips, eliciting a smile from me too. Sure. See you in fifteen. Once again being caught up in Kane, I forgot about Nate standing right beside me. Man, Ive got to stop doing that. Not really knowing what else to do, I blurted, Oh! This is Nate, by the way. Then I paused, remembering my earlier conversation with Nate. But wait, I guess you already know each other, dont you? I glanced back and forth between the two of them. Yeah, we know each other, Kane stated flatly as he glared at Nate. Weird. Id just figured they were friends. Looking at Kane and the way he was staring at Nate, I was quickly retracting that thought. Long time no see, bud. Hows it

going? Nate nodded toward Kane. Acting as if Kane wasnt scowling at him as he spoke. Kanes eyes looked Nate up and down, almost as if he were sizing him up. Kane had a good two to four inches on Nate and was definitely more built. If they were to ever go toe to toe, my money would definitely be on Kane. Good, he clipped out before turning back to me. Go put your things away. Ill be waiting out front. He turned and headed back down the hall, toward the exit doors without even a goodbye nod toward Nate. Well, that went well I think, Nate chuckled at Kanes retreating figure. Yeah, what was up with that? I questioned. Kane obviously didnt care

too much for Nate; but Nate, on the other hand, was acting as thought Kane didnt just blow him off. I dont really know. We used to be brothersas in fraternity brothers. We actually were pretty close a few years ago. Thats why we rushed together. Then Kane started to change and pull away from us. We let him have the space he needed, but after a while he came to us and told us he was leaving the frat. Kind of shocked us all to be honest. He would have been president if hed stayed. After he dropped the frat, he got his own apartment and kind of kept to himself after that.He pausedWell, I guess kept to himself isnt the right term. He stopped again and looked around the now emptying hall. How do I put this? He still

has plenty of company these days, but only in the form of women. Its not surprising to see a different girl leave his apartment every night. I could see Kane being the ladies man type. With looks like that, Im sure women were always throwing themselves at him but that didnt excuse douchebaggery behavior. It was kind of weird though, hed never given off those vibes to me. Hed never actually hit on me either. Flirted a little here and there, but never actually came on to me, I dont think. Maybe he didnt find me as attractive as the company he usually kept. Which I couldnt lie, that stung a little bit, even though it shouldnt. I barely knew him and never got hung up on guys anyway. I dont know what my deal was lately. One look

from a pair of gray eyes and I was completely flipped upside down. That wasnt me. I needed to put a stop to whatever was happening, like now. This coffee date was going to go a whole different direction then what ol Kane probably had planned out in is head big or little one. Nope, Kelsey Rien was not the type to do the walk of shame out of someones apartment. This was something that I was going to make pretty damn clear.

After a quick goodbye to Nate, I headed off toward the dorms. The sooner I was rid of this bag, the better. At least in high school you had lockers. Lugging this stuff around was going to take some getting used to. Not feeling like waiting on the elevator which always seemed to take forever I decided to take the stairs. Our dorm room was just a few doors down from the stairwell and was a whole hallways walk from the elevator bays, but ascending three flights of stairs with all my books and laptop might not have been the

brightest idea on my part. With each step I took, waiting on those damn slow elevators sounded better and better. Finally making it to our floor, I walked the short distance to our room and turned the knob. Jess should already be back, she was probably taking a mid-afternoon nap to be honest. Waking up early and Jessi never did go well together. Slowly pushing open the door, I fully expected to see Jess lying in her bed, softly snoring away after a hard first day of class. What I did not expect was a pale, bare ass as it pumped away at my best friend. I yelped and slapped my hand over my eyes as I fumbled around for the doorknob. Sorry! Sorry! Im leaving! Carry on doing that. I waved the hand that wasnt currently shielding my eyes

from the horrific sight, wildly in the air before finally landing it on the doorknob and slamming it shut. Good Lord, I muttered under my breath as I slid down the wall beside our door. I could still hear Jessis giggles. Shaking my head, I pulled my headphones out of my bag, plugged them into my cell and settled in to wait. Surely she would hurry it along and finish since she knew I was waiting I hoped she would anyway. After about two songs there was a light tap on my shoulder and my eyes flew open to find Jessi standing there with a pretty pleased look on her face. As she should have after what I had just walked in on. Landon walked out of our room and into the hallway as I started to stand, looking

just a tad bit embarrassed. Leave it to the guy to go get all discomforted and Jessi be the one going on as if I walked in on them playing a game of Go Fish instead of bumping uglies. I swear, sometimes I honestly think shes part man. Poor Landon was just standing beside Jessi, with his eyes cast down toward the floor as if he was trying not to make eye contact with me. At least hes not just the average jerk that gets what he wants and hurries on his way but that doesnt mean I cant use his discomfort to have a little fun myself, right? No need to go get all shy now, I told him. I have seen your bare ass and all. He scratched at the back of his neck and let out a nervous chuckle. Yeah, sorry

about that. No problem. I was just coming to put my things away before heading back out, I said to them. Out? So where are you going? Jess questioned me. I knew she was probably a little thrown off by the fact that I had plans to go out, and that those plans didnt involve her. Usually the only places I went to lately are the places she drags me. So this was a whole different ball game for her. Kane asked me if I would like to grab a cup of coffee. I told him I would. Hes probably waiting out front for me now actually. I didnt think the room would be occupied. I winked at Landon because I knew he was feeling pretty uncomfortable right now, and I cant lie, I

was enjoying teasing him and watching him squirm. So, can I get in there now? Id like to finally get rid of these heavy books if you dont mind. I pushed past Jessi into the room and dropped my bag on my desk. Ahh, yes. Relief. It felt so good to be rid of that weighty thingfor a while at least. I rushed off to the bathroom to freshen up a little bit, and had to stop myself from doing too much. Im not worried about impressing himor am I? Shaking the thought from my head, I finished brushing my teeth and applied a fresh swipe of deodorant. I may not be trying to impress the guy too much, but smelling good is a given, right? I stepped out of the bathroom and found Jessi sitting in a desk chair that she had

pulled up so that it was directly in front of the bathroom door. She had one of her mischievous smiles plastered across her face. Stop smiling like that. Youre giving me the creeps. Smiling like what? She grinned bigger while twisting back and forth in the desk chair. You know like what. Like the cat that ate the canary or whatever it is your grandpa used to say. I turned and took one last glimpse in the mirror. You look fine. I heard Jess call from over my shoulder. What? Oh Im not checking how I look. Im just making sure I dont have any junk on my face? Yeah, even I heard the questioning tone I had in my last statement.

I guess I was busted. So whats the deal with you two? she questioned as she kicked off the ground, giving the chair a complete spin like some five year old playing in their parents work chair. Nothing, Jess. I just met the guy. I just figured it would be a good idea to have more than one friend, ya know? Its obvious you and Landon there are getting a little serious. What will I do when youre off with him if I dont finally come around and attempt to make some new friends? She stopped her spinning and stared at me for a few seconds before getting up from her chair and hugging me. Kels, you will always have me. No boy will every change that. Youre my

number one, babe. Sisters before misters and all that. And what in the world gave you the impression Im starting something serious with Landon? She let me go and took a step back. Oh I dont know, Jess, could it be the fact that I just walked in on the two of you having full-blown rabbit sex in our dorm after knowing each other a couple days? She giggled. Oh, Kelsey honey, that boy sure knows what hes doing in the sack, let me tell ya. But that doesnt mean Im ready to settle down and get serious with him. She looked down at her hands and started to pick at her fingernails. Yeah, keep spitting out whatever you want, Jess. I dont believe it either. This boy had Jessi spinning and she was just too damn scared to admit it. My

friend was used to boys falling quickly for her. She was mixed up about falling so fast, but I knew it would do her some good. She needed more than just a quick lay. Jessi deserved a guy that would treat her like the little princess she thought she was. Maybe finally being here at college would be a fresh start for us both. And if she just so happened to find love with the first guy she actually met while being here, so be it. Youre impossible, Jess. Just admit you actually like him, like him. I playfully shoved her shoulder. All right, Miss Wants to Point Fingers, you know I have ten I can point right back at you. Kane. She placed both hands on her hips. Admit you like him, like him. She threw my statement back in my face.

I dont even know him, Jess! From the few conversations weve had he seems like a pretty laid back person. I will admit I do feel more comfortable around him than I should, having just met him and all. But today after class, I heard some things that throw up red flags. Oh, Kelsey dont let gossip make you doubt your gut feeling about him. I mean, look at the shit storm we just got away from. I know, Jess. Thats why Im going to be straight with him when we go out for coffee. Well, dont be too rough on him. Give him a chance to clear the air. She smiled then grabbed me by my shoulders and pointed me toward the door. Now scoot! Didnt you say he was waiting?

Thanks, Jess. Love you! Be back later! I called over my shoulder as I grabbed my purse and headed out the door.

When I stepped into the lobby of our dorm, I could see Kane through the glass doors just outside leaning against a lamppost. He was talking on his cell phone. I took a minute to just look at him, he seemed to be enjoying the conversation he was having. The smile on his face was evidence of that. He threw his head back, as if he was laughing at whatever the person on the other end was saying, and I couldnt help but wonder who he was talking to. Could it be one of the many

girls that were supposedly seen leaving his apartment at all hours of the night? What the hell, Kelsey? What does it even matter to you? Youre just going out for coffee! Shaking the weird jealousy-induced thoughts from my head, I pushed open the door and stepped outside. When Kane looked up and saw me coming, he turned his head as if to throw this voice in the other direction. If that was his attempt, he failed because I could clearly hear him tell the person on the other end of the call that he would come over later that night. Well, so much for wondering whom he was talking to. Homeboy hasnt even had coffee with me yet, and is already setting up his plans for after. Figures. Hey, you ready? He pushed off the

lamppost and walked my way. His smile still plastered across his face. Those must be some great plans he had for later. Yeah, Jessi was, uh using the room so I had to wait for her to um, well, finish before I could get in, I stammered. He let out a low chuckle, Yeah, I kind of heard about it. I looked up at him and cocked my eyebrow. He had heard? The questioning look on my face made him continue. While I was waiting for you, Landon came out. He told me that he had been up to see Jessi and that you would be down in a minute. Ah yes, Landon. I didnt think about him. So, you wanna get out of here? The coffee shop is just around the corner and

its nice out so I thought it would be a good afternoon for a walk. Sounds perfect. We walked about a block from the campus to a very small, but quaint, coffee shop. We placed our orders, and then found a nice quiet table off in the corner by itself. That was probably for the best. I was going to question him about the things Nate had told me, and I wasnt exactly sure how it would go. He could get totally offended and go off on me for all I knew. Hell, now that I was thinking about it, if things were reversed, I would probably be offended if he were to be asking me personal questions that I I mean he, had no business asking. But I had to do this. I had to know what kind of person I was being drawn to. I had never had someone

get to me the way he does. Never had I been hung up on someone like I was him. This was all so new to me and I needed to be sure that if nothing else, I could have a friendship with Kane. That he wasnt out to bang the new quiet college girl. Before I could even grab hold of my chair, Kane reached around me and pulled it out just like he had done at lunch earlier that day. He stepped back a little so I could sit down before he gently pushed it back in, and then walked around the table and took the seat in front of me. I lightly blew into my cup to cool the coffee down a bit, but honestly, I was merely stalling. I wasnt really sure how I was going to start this conversation. I mean how exactly does one tell someone else that they are not just a warm body?

That they are not interested in being a quick lay and then being cool to pass them on campus without so much as a hello? I sucked in the boy department. Maybe I should have pumped Jessi for some tips before I ran off and agreed to set myself up for disaster. Sensing my awkwardness, Kane cleared his throat and began to speak, So, how did you feel about your first day as a college student? It was okay. I shrugged and sat my coffee down on the table. You better not have been lying about Professor Hanson either. That lady looks like she means business. I was right to only worry about her. Her syllabus is crazy hard, and Im not going to lie, she kind of scares me just a little bit.

He laughed and took a drink of his coffee. Believe me, I wouldnt lie to you. The woman is a softy and she really does care about helping you further your education. Unlike some of the other nononsense professors, she gets that sometimes things happen in life that you have no control over, and she will work with you on getting extensions and sometimes a little extra credit if youre behind. The woman is a godsend. She helped me out big time when I had her. I wasnt having the best year when I had taken her class. In all honesty, she probably should have failed my punk ass but she never gave up on me. He sat his cup down on the table and stared at the cardboard sleeve around it. I could tell he was lost in his own thoughts.

Maybe about whatever had been going on with him that year that would cause him to fall so far behind like he hadbut I wasnt going to press it. I had my own secrets that I wasnt willing to share just yet, so I was in no position to ask about his. So, anyway, I started. Might as well get this over with. Just like ripping off a Band-Aid. You have quite the rep around here, ya know. I tried to make my tone light so that I wouldnt come off as a judgmental bitch. Is that so? He leaned back in his chair and casually draped one arm over the back. I cleared my throat before I began again, Seems to be. I hear you are quite popular with the ladies.

He rolled his eyes and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table as he stared straight into my eyes. I could only guess the person you might have heard that from; but yes, I cant lie, I have done some pretty terrible things in my past. I used a lot of innocent girls and treated them a hell of a lot worse than they deserved. But I can assure you that I have grown a lot in the past year or so. Im not the same person I used to be. But none of these assholes around here believe it. His stare was so intense. As if he wanted more than anything for me to believe him. Looking back down at my cup, I shrugged. Its not really of my business, Kane.

Then why even ask? His statement made me look up at him. I wanted to be honest with him because hed been honest with me. Letting me know that in his past he wasnt a real stand-up guy, and may have used some girls in the process, couldnt have been easy. But I couldnt be one hundred percent truthful with him. I couldnt tell him that I have zero experience with guys and the pull I felt toward him scared the living daylight out of me. That his abundant amount of experience with women had me ready to run scared for the hills. So instead, I settled for as close to the truth as I could get and prayed that it was enough. I just didnt understand why. If you can get all these other girls, why would you

even be wasting any time with me? Why bother taking me out for coffee? Because I can tell you right now, Im so different from your average girl that is my age. Im not ready to go into detail about anything just yet, but Im not the type to hook up. There. I said it. Now lets see how he reacts to the fact that hes not going to be getting any extras from me. He took a minute to respond, though that minute seemed like an eternity. Kelsey, I can promise you now that I have no illintentions toward you. There is something about you that I cant shake and I honestly just feel the need to be close to you. I know that sounds completely creepy, but its the only way I know how to explain it. He shrugged. I knew all too well what he was trying

to explain. It was the same pull I had felt toward him from the moment I saw him in the caf. Well, I am looking for new friends. I glanced back down at my coffee because the way he was staring at me was a little intense. Can you do that, Kane? Can you be my friend? Im so embarrassed that I let all that fall out of my mouth like that. Could I have sounded anymore babyish? Can you be my friend? I felt the need to bang my head on the table in front of me, but I refrained. Kane surprised me by reaching across the table to gently lay his hand on my wrist. I looked up at his face and am confused that he seems upset. Kelsey, I would never try to coerce you into sleeping with me. That was never

my style anyway. And why would I not want to spend time with you? I wont lie about it, your beauty is the first thing that attracted me to you. But in just the short time that we have got to talk, I have enjoyed our conversations and cant help but feel I want to know you better. I would never pressure you into anything, and when I say anything, I mean it. Even about your past. When you feel comfortable with talking to me about it, know that I will be here to listen. Friendship is something I need at the moment too. So I should be asking you the same question. Can you be my friend, Kelsey? His lips turned up into a tiny smile and I smiled back. Im glad he didnt think I was a complete dork for asking for friendship. Things like that used to come

so easy to me before. I never had to ask someone to be my friend. If it werent for the incident that changed my life forever, I would like to think that I would still have the same group of friends. But things change people change, and life doesnt always work out the way you think it will. Taking my free hand, I laid it on top of his. Friends it is. While I was so happy to have finally made a new frienddeep down in my gut, I found it hard to actually believe that one could stay just friends with someone who looks like Kane. I could be setting myself up for disaster, but at the moment, Ill take friendship with him over nothing at all.

The first week of classes had gone by as smoothly as one would expect college to. I was comfortable with my classes and the work that each professor assigned and Kane had been right about Professor Hanson. After that first class, more than half the people in attendance dropped her class and she was a lot friendlier and less stern than she had presented herself to be originally. Jessi and Landon were still spending every ounce of free time they had together, which in turn, left me spending a lot more of my time with Kane. Every day we ate

lunch at the same table, and every day after lunch, Jessi and Landon would run off to steal a few minutes of alone time before the next class began. Leaving Kane and I alone. And Kane, being the good guy he was, refused to ever let me walk to class alone. I was beginning to form a friendship with Nate, also. We usually only had short chats inside the class while we waited for Professor Hanson to come in, because he seemed to always avoid walking out of the class with me like hed done that first day. I think it was because Kane was now always waiting for me outside the door and Nate wanted to avoid another confrontation. But I was finding out that Nate was quite enjoyable to be around. Though his family probably had more

money than God, Nate never seemed entitled to me. His future involved following a plan that his father had picked out for him. He was to graduate med school and become a physicians assistant in his fathers practice. The way he talked about it, he had no say in the matter, but he seemed to be okay with the general idea of how his life was already planned out for him. I wouldnt be able to follow a set idea that someone had made for me, but to each his own. If he was happy following his fathers perfectly laid plan, then so be it. It was finally Friday and as I was packing my things up, I saw a shadow fall over me. I looked up to find Nate standing there. His million dollar smile beaming at me.

So she said we could pair up in groups for this next project. I thought I might see if I could work with you and your friend. Everyone else seems to have already teamed up. I glanced around the room, and sure enough, you could see little groups clustering and exchanging contact information. I looked over at Jessi, who just shrugged, letting me know she was okay with the partnership. Sure, that sounds fine. Why dont you give me your cell number? That way we can text each other to go over what times and days would be best for all of us to meet up and start planning out this project. Sounds great. He tore a corner piece of paper from the notebook he had been

carrying, and scribbled his number on it before handing it to me. Just text me whenever you want to meet up. He smiled, then turned and headed for the door. The way I see it, the more people in the group the less I have to do, right? Jessi asked as she rose from her seat. We walked to the door, and as usual, Landon and Kane were waiting. I looked at Kane who was watching Nate head down the hall. When he finally turned to look toward me, I smiled at him and the scowl on his face immediately disappeared and turned into a full dimple smile. The fact that he was giving Nate that look didnt escape me though. Hey, whats up? I placed my hand on Kanes arm. I really wanted to know

where the animosity toward Nate came from, but I didnt want to pry. He glanced at me, and then back down the hall before he spoke. So you and Nate talk a lot? He nodded his chin in the direction Nate had exited. SometimesI shruggedJessi and I are doing a project with him, though. Oh. Even only knowing him for a short time, I could tell something was off about Kane. We had been spending a lot of time together this week, and this Kane was not the usual happy, carefree Kane that I had gotten used to. He was tense now, and you could tell his body was strung tight by the way he kept clenching and unclenching his fists. I studied him for a brief second, trying to figure out what was actually

wrong, but was suddenly dragged away by Jessi before I could figure it out. Come on, chick! We have an appointment to get to! she said enthusiastically. It took me a minute to grasp what she was talking about, but when I finally did, I dug my pink Chucks into the ground and jerked my arm free from her grasp. Jessi whirled around to face me, red hair flying like wild angry flames. I change my mind! I stated as I crossed my arms over my chest. Oh, no! No youre not! We ARE doing this Kelsey! We have talked about this far too long to back out now. She placed her tiny hands on her hips and glared. This is all happening so fast, Jess. We just got here. We are finally getting settled

and making new friends. Now were going to get tattoos?! Cant we just slowly move into the next phase of this whole Jessi and Kelsey free as birds, Thelma and Louise life you have planned? Thelma and Louise, Kels? Really? They die at the end of that movie! We are just getting a tattoo! She was so not getting it. I was all up for change, I really was. That was the whole plan for going off to a college in a different state. I was ready to get away from the place that held so many bad memories, that for the past six months I had counted down the days til our move here. I wanted this clean slate hell I needed it. But I had sheltered myself for so long, that I didnt know the fear and uncertainty that would come with the

changes I was making in my life now. And honestly, now that I was finally living out everything I had said I couldnt wait for, I was just a little overwhelmed with it all. The look Jessi was giving me was enough to make grown men cry. She could be kind of scary when she was determined, and she was damn determined for us to finally get these tattoos. I huffed and stomped around Jessi, heading toward the parking lot. Fine! Lets do this. Lets go see a man about some tattoos. I didnt turn back to look at her, but I could hear her squee and then her heals clicking against the ground as she hurried to catch up with me. Lopping her arm in mine, she asked, So did you finally make up your mind

about what you wanted to get? I shrugged. I had a general idea of what I wanted. I could see it in my head so clearly, but when it came to describing it to someone for them to draw up, I wasnt so sure I could make them understand what I wanted. The tattoos I had picked out held a special meaning to me and it needed to be perfect. I think Im pretty set on what I want now but I guess we will see when we get there. Landon said his brother is an amazing artist. That he started out drawing and painting before someone suggested tattooing. When he finished his first tattoo hed found a passion he never knew he had before. Well that was a nice story and all. I was really hoping this guy lived up to his

reputation. Since Id become better friends with Kane and was actually getting to secretly study his tattoos up close, the detail in them did amaze me. Tattooing really should be seen more as art and less as stereotyping the people that have them. If people would take the time to actually look closely at other peoples tattoos, then maybe they would see that not everyone goes and gets a tear drop for murdering someone, or gets a butterfly when they turn eighteen just because they want to rebel against their parents. Some people put a lot of thought into their tattoos. Making each one reflect a certain time in their life. Or maybe an event that held so much significance to them, they want it to be remembered forever. So far, the things I could make out from

Kanes tattoos were the very realistic portraits of an attractive man and woman on the inside of each of his forearms. An extremely detailed fish was also on the forearm with the man, and some roses and script were on the arm with the woman. I hadnt been able to read the script as of yet, though. I was still daydreaming about Kanes tattoos when we approached Jessis car, and it hit me that we were really about to do this. Climbing inside, I began to fidget with my seatbelt and Jessi placed her small hand on my arm. Kelsey? Yeah? I gave the seatbelt one last tug before finally getting it adjusted to where it was most comfortable. Youre going to be fine. You know that

right? This is just first tattoo jitters. Believe it or not, when Landon and I were talking the other night WaitI interrupted heryou and Landon do more than just swap spit? You actually throw some conversation in there? I joked. She smiled before playfully punching me in the arm. ANYWAY, as I was saying when Landon and I were talking the other night after watching one of those tattoo shows that have been coming on TV lately, I started to panic that I wouldnt be able to handle the pain. You know me, Ive never really been good with pain, and that show we had watched had some of the people passing out and getting sick and I made a choking noise and she hurried to reassure me. No, no, no! Its not going to

be like that for us. These people were getting these huge detailed tattoos that the tattoo artists had only a few hours to complete. Landon said the longer the tattoo session, the more raw your skin gets so it begins to hurt a lot more. But it almost had me in a full-blown panic attack worrying that I would freak out like some of those people. You know, that I would not be able to stand the pain and walk around with an unfinished tattoo for the rest of my life. Jess, youre really not helping me, ya know. Seriously, Kelsey, if anyone has this its you. You are the strongest person I know. I may talk a big game, but honestly, when it comes down to it you may have to baby me and walk me though this, she

laughed. I hugged my best friend tight before throwing myself back into my seat and letting out a loud sigh. Lets get this over with then. Who knows, we both might surprise ourselves and think it tickles when the tattoo machine finally breaks through our skin. YEAH RIGHT! Jessi stared out the windshield a second or two before starting the car. It was nice to know that shed had second thoughts about this before, too. I knew I wanted this and she wanted this so dammit, we were going to do this!

Jessi pulled her car up in front of an old, red brick building with a black awning and big, blocky, white letters that read Inner City Ink. Even after the pep talk wed just had, I couldnt shake the nervous feelings that were swirling around inside me. I mean, there was a guy in there somewhere, holding a little humming machine with a needle attached to one end that was about to go plunging over and over into my skin. You see my dilemma now, dont you? Seriously, what kind of person can think up something like this? Was it some

crazy individual who went to the doctor when he was sick, got a shot and decided, Hey, that felt fucking amazing! How about we do it over and over again at about 10,000 revolutions per minute, add some ink, and make some art! Yeah, I bet it all went down a little something like that. A tap on the window jolted me out of my panicked musing, and I turned to see Jessi standing on the other sideI hadnt even heard her get out of the car. Come on, chicken shit. Were here now. Lets do this. I considered locking the door and pouting until she gave in and took me back to the dorm, but she had the key fob for her car, and I knew my fight would be in vain. We were already there, and Jessi had her

mind set on getting those tattoos. Wed talked about getting them for years; she would make sure we followed through. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the door handle and opened the car door. A warm breeze washed over me when I placed one foot on the ground, and my eyes closed as my mind drifted back to warm summer dayslying on a blanket with my mom, blowing dandelion after dandelion, and watching the seeds fly and swirl above us. Where do you think they will go? I asked her. I was talking about the seeds, but she knew that. She always knew everything. If I was sick, she always knew what would make me feel better. If I was hurt, she knew the right song I

needed to hear to make me forget about my pain. She placed her warm hand over mine, and I turned to face her. Anywhere and everywhere my sweet, Kelsey. They are free now to go off and have adventures of their own and do you know who set them free to do so? I shook my head. You did, my sweet girl. They were stuck here on the ground with us and just one tiny breath from you has them flying high and free as the birds. She smiled. I wish I could fly like that, I sighed as I turned to watch the tiny little seeds flitter off into the distance. Me too, baby, me too. I crooked my head to look at her again. For a brief second, I could have

sworn I saw a hint of sadness in her eyes; but it was gone as soon as I noticed it. Her bright smile was back, and I didnt think about anything else except her, the dandelions, the birds, and me. I opened my eyes to the dingy, red brick building. What I wouldnt have given to go back to times when all I had to think about was setting those tiny seeds free. With the memory fresh in my mind, I was more sure than ever about the design Id chosen to mark my body with forever. There was still nervousnessbut it was due to the fear of the pain, not the fear of making a mistake. Im going to do this Im going to do this for her. The shop was cleaner than I had

imagined it would belike, it was impeccably clean. There was a scent of disinfectant in the air, and the whole place had a sterile feel to it; making me feel a great deal more relaxed. The hum of the tattoo machines could be heard from down a hall that was just off the waiting room, and a dark-haired girl with bright purple streaks running through her hair was sitting behind the desk. She glanced up at us and smiled. Welcome to Inner City Ink. My name is Melody. Can I help you ladies with anything? Her voice was so light and sweet, again, not what I had been expecting. I need to stop being so judgy all the time. I mean, isnt that how my life was before I came here? People always

judging and assuming they knew me, just because they knew what had happened to me? Yes, Landon sent us. We have appointments with Lucas. JessiShe pointed her well-manicured finger at her own chestand Kelsey. Jessi then leaned a little closer to Melody, Kelsey being the one hiding back there. She chucked her thumb in the direction where Id been standing a few feet behind her. Melody glanced down at the book lying on the counter in front of her. Yeah, I see it right here. If you want to have a seat for just a few minutes, I will go let him know you ladies are here and he will be right with you. She smiled again before heading out of the room. I walked over and sat on one of the

black sofas they had in the waiting area and began scrolling through my phone absentmindedly, needing the distraction. Jessi plopped down beside me, and nudged my shoulder with hers. You ready for this girlie? If youre really not sure about this, Kels, we dont have to do it. You know I was joking, dont you? I would never force you to do something you are uncomfortable with. You know that right? The smile shed had all day began wavering just a bit. I took her hand in mine and tried to assure her. I know, Jessi. And, yes, Im sure about this. At first I wasnt, but Im happy with the tattoo I have picked out. I know I wont regret this in the long run. She nodded, wrapped her arms around my neck, and squeezed. I love you, Kels.

Youre my best friend. I wish so hard that I could change so many things in your past, but I cant. The only thing I know that I can give you is me and my friendship. She paused and pulled back, looking me in the eye. I will always be here for you, Kels. I know you think youre all alone in the big ol world now, but youre not. You never have been. Where you go, I go til the end, babe. I looked at my best friends faceI mean really looked at her. Shed meant every word from the bottom of her heart I knew she did. While I loved her and her family dearly, they werent my real family. I would be forever grateful to them for taking me in when they didnt have to, but I had no family. Just shattered memories and regrets.

You must be Jessi and Kelsey, a deep voice drew our attention, and we twisted to see a man standing in the doorway. With the exception of him being covered in tattoos, and the fact that he had an eyebrow piercing, I would have sworn it was Landon standing there looking at us. Oh boy, to have been in his head when he came into the room and saw two girls just sitting on the couch in his waiting area, hugged up together and staring deeply into each others eyes. Yeah, he probably thinks were ten kinds of crazy right about now. We stood and walked over to him, and he extended his hand for us each of us to shake. My names Lucas. What can I do for you pretty ladies today?

We are wanting some ink, Jessi stated the obvious. I was thinking I would get some music notes going along the outside of my foot. Nothing too crazy. He nodded in acknowledgement to Jessi, and then looked at me. And what is it you have in mind? I cleared my throat, I want a dandelion on the back of my right shoulder and I want the seeds blowing off it, flying to the left and traveling toward my neck. But I also want the seeds to turn into birds as they reach the base of my neck. He stared at me for a minute as he absorbed what I had just told him. Nice. I think I can do that for you. He stepped back and glanced at the both of us. If you want to have a seat for a few more minutes, I can draw this up real quick, and

then we can get started. We walked back over to the sofas and waited for Lucas to come get us. It had only been about thirty minutes or so when he came walking back through the doorway. All right, girls, take a look at what I have for you. He held out what he had drawn up from our requests. Jessis was just beautiful, and fit her well. When it came time for him to see mine, I was full of nervous excitement. I wasnt sure how he would interpret what I had told him, but my hand flew straight to my heart when he laid that paper out in front of me. It was perfect. Exactly how I had imagined it. I love it, my voice cracked on the last

word. I was so happy Jessi talked me into doing this now. I couldnt wait to have this beautiful piece on my body in remembrance of my mom. All right then, follow me this way. We will throw some stencils on ya and get to work. We followed Lucas down the hall to a room with dark blue walls covered in gorgeous, vibrant paintings. Each one in a thick black frame. I walked up to the nearest painting and took it all in. It was beautiful. The girl in the painting was crouched on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest. She was surround by a room full of faceless, blurred people. And even though they encircled her, the emotion on her face, in her eyes, let you know she was alone.

Like me. It was beautiful, and my chest tightened when I looked back at her sad eyes. She stared at me like she knew what sorrow was in my heartand for some ridiculous reasonI knew she felt the same pain as me like she understood me. You like? Lucas voice drew my attention away from painting. Yes, very much so. Who is the artist? They are beautiful. He laughed softly, I am. Oh, that was right. Landon had told Jessi that his brother started out drawing and painting. I should have known he would have some of his own work displayed in his shop. They are really beautiful, I told him again as I turned to take one last glimpse

at the painting. He thanked me, and then started getting everything set up for the first tattoo. I had decided Jessi would go first since this was all her idea; but after Lucas had prepped and the stencil was on her foot, she began nervously tapping that foot against the table. She quickly scooped my hand up in hers and squeezed. Jess, I love you, but youre kind of hurting me. I glanced down at our locked handsmine was turning a deep shade of red from the death grip she had on me. She immediately let go. Oh, sorry! Im a little nervous. ObviouslyI smiled at herIts going to be fine, Jess. Remember? She nodded her head profusely before taking a deep breath and looking at Lucas.

You ready? he asked as he wheeled his chair over to where Jessi was sitting on the table. Lets do this! she exclaimed as she flung one hand over her eyes, the other reaching out for me again. The second the needle touched her I felt her tense up. She was taking it well though; at least there was no screaming or moaning on her part. Just the occasional squeeze to my hand that was strong enough to make me flinch. We were about halfway through Jessis tattoo when we heard loud voices coming from the front of the shop. A few moments later, Landon and Kane appeared in the doorway to the room we were in. Hows she doing? Landon looked at me and smiled.

I gave Kane a small smile when he followed Landon silently into the room, before turning to look at Landon. Ready to switch? I dont know how much more my hand can take, I joked and pried my hand from Jessis, earning me a glare, as Landon made his way around the table to take my spot. Damn you werent kidding. She has one mean grip. Landon cringed at the force of Jessis hold making everyone in the room laugh. I walked over to Kane and leaned against the wall like he was. He looked down at me and absentmindedly flicked his lip ring. I loved and hated when he did that. Loved it because it was so hot, and hated it because it was so damn hot. Kane messing with that lip ring made my body

tingle in places I never knew it could. So you still getting one? he asked and raised an eyebrow at me as he waited for my response. Yup. I dug my hands in my pockets. Really now. What did you decide to get? Cant tell you. Its a secret. You will just have to wait and see. I playfully bit my lip. I noticed his eyes zero in on my mouth, and that also for some reason made me tingle all over. Oh my. Youre going to get my name tattooed on your ass arent you? he said, and gave a sly smile. HA! Keep dreaming big boy, I laughed. At least he seemed to be in a better

mood than when Id seen him earlier. This was the Kane I had come to know. All done, Lucas voice filled the room. He wiped the excess ink from Jessis tattoo, and we all gathered around the table to take a look. Its beautiful, Jess. And its so you. Yeah, I guess it was worth the pain, she said as she twisted her foot back and forth to get a better look at her new tattoo. Let me go over the care instructions with Jessi for a quick second, and then we will get your stencil on you, Kelsey. I nodded and began to gather my long hair into a messy bun on the top of my head. It was a good thing itd been a warm day and Id happened to wear a halter-top. This way I wouldnt have to take my shirt

off. After Lucas had gone over the care instructions with Jessi, he placed the stencil on my shoulder and neck and handed me a small hand mirror. After agreeing on the placement of the tattoo, I laid down on the table and braced myself for the pain. I heard the wheels of Lucas stool get closer and held out my hand for Jessi to take, but the hand that grasped mine was much larger and rougher than Id been expecting. I glanced up to find Kane smiling down at me. I got you, Kelsey. Its going to be okay. His words soothed more than just the nervous jitters I was feeling about the tattoo. When he said those words, I felt

them to my core. Like he already knew all about my past, and was telling me it would all be okay in the end. I smiled at him before laying my head back down on the table for Lucas to begin on my tattoo. The sting when the needle first penetrated my skin wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be. Dont get me wrong, overall, the whole experience hurt like hell Im not even going to play like it didnt. But every time I thought the pain was beginning to be too much, Kane was there whispering words of encouragement in my ear. Letting me know that it was almost over and that it would be worth it in the end. After what seemed like forever, the tattoo machine finally shut off and I felt Lucas pour the cool, cleaning solution

over my raw skin before applying ointment to the fresh ink. I couldnt wait to finally see it. When he was finished, Kane helped me slowly rise from the table to a sitting position, and made me take a few minutes to sit there and make sure I wouldnt take a dizzy spell and come crashing to the floor. After a few minutes of insisting I was fine, Kane finally let me stand and walk over to the larger mirror in the room. Thats when I noticed Jessi and Landon were missing. Kane must have seen me looking for them because he answered my unspoken question, She saw you bleeding a little and kinda freaked out. Landon took her to get something to eat. They are waiting for us at the restaurant now. That made sense. Jessi never had been

good with blood and she kept her hand over her face throughout her entire tattoo. Lucas followed me to the larger mirror and placed the smaller one in my hand again. Taking a deep breath, I lifted the mirror to take a look at my back. When my eyes landed on my new tattoo, I felt the tears well up in my eyes. It was beautiful perfect. I looked at Kane and then Lucas; both were smiling at me as I tried to find the words to tell them how much I loved my tattoo but all words seemed to fail me at that moment. I took one last look before handing the mirror back over to Lucas. Lucas I love it. Really. Its like you saw right into my head and how I pictured it, and put it on my body. You really are amazing at what you do. Thank you so

much! Really, Kelsey, it was nothing. I enjoyed doing this tattoo too. Ive never done one like it before so its always fun to do something different and you did great by the way. You sat like a rock through the whole thing. For this being your first tattoo, thats something. After Lucas went over the care instructions with me, I thanked him again, and Kane and I exited the shop into the cool night air. The temperature had dropped quite a bit from when we first went into the shop, and my halter-top wasnt so perfect for the weather anymore. I shivered from the cool night breeze as we walked to the restaurant where Jessi and Landon were waiting for us.

Cold? Kane asked, and I nodded. A little, but its not too bad, and we should be there in a few minutes anyway. Kane stopped and began to pull the black long sleeve shirt he was wearing over his head. As he pulled it up, his gray undershirt went up part of the way with it revealing a flat, toned stomach, and the top of gray boxers. If I wasnt mistaken, I thought Id caught a glimpse of a tattoo peeking over the top of his boxers. After pulling the shirt all the way off, he tugged his undershirt down before holding up the other shirt for me. Kane, really, you dont have to do that. We will be there in a little while anyway. Kelsey, I insist. He gave the shirt a little shake to let me know he was waiting.

I stepped closer to him, but he didnt hand the shirt over to me. Instead, he held it above me and pushed my head through the collar before telling me to slide my arms into the sleeves. Anyone passing us on the street may have found it odd to see him dressing me right there on the sidewalk, but my stomach was so full of butterflies that I really didnt care what anyone else thought at the moment. Now that I was dressed in his shirt, we continued on our walk to the restaurant. I couldnt help but secretly lean my nose closer to my shoulder to get a whiff of the sweet smell that was Kane. That smell would forever be burned into my memory. Just like his eyes were.

That night after dinner, Kane and Landon walked us back to Jessis car before they headed off to Landons truck. When I offered to give Kane his shirt back, he refused and I smiled, secretly loving the fact that I was going to get to keep it for a few more hours. By the time Jessi and I had made it back to the dorm I was so ready to crash. As soon as we stepped inside our room, exhaustion overtook me, and I flopped down on my bed. I didnt bother to take Kanes shirt offand honestly I was enjoying the fact that I would be able to

drift off to sleep with his sweet smell all around me. I awoke to the sounds of blood-curdling screams, and it took me a second to realize that the screams were coming from me. By the time I opened my eyes, Jessi was hovering over me concern etched all over her face. Kelsey, oh thank God you finally woke up! Finally woke up? How long had I been screaming? My raw throat and hoarse voice let me know that I must have been screaming for quite some time. About five minutes. You woke me up with your screams. I tried to wake you up but no matter what I did, you just wouldnt open your eyes. It was so scary. I didnt know what to do. Usually youre so easy

to wake up when you have your nightmares, but there was something different about this one. I couldnt get you to come out of it. I felt so bad for putting my friend though my many years of night terrors. It had been a few months since my last one, though, and I wasnt sure what would just bring them on again. This one was just like the othersI was back in my old house, reliving the whole thing all over again and again. The last thing I remembered when Id woken up was those eyes staring back at me. It was the same eyes I looked at day in and day out. The warm, honey color would make you believe the person who wore those eyes would be full of warmth and love when in reality he was as

cold as ice, and as evil as the days were long. My eyes were the only things my father had given me; but he had taken everything. He had taken my mother from me the night he murdered her. The night I did nothing but sit there and watch. Jessi sat back on her heels, giving me room to sit up on the edge of my bed. I pulled my hair at the roots, hoping the pain radiating from my scalp would dull the pain I felt at my core after reliving that night through my dream. But honestly, nothing ever soothed that ache and it never would. Throughout the years, the guilt had lessened a bit but I knew it would never fully go away. Some days it was easier to deal with, some days the pain and guilt

was so crippling it was hard for me to even get out of bed. Thats why I would forever be in debt to Jessi and her wonderful family. I wouldnt have made it through the last six years without them. I know this is a stupid question, but are you okay now? Jessi whispered. I nodded. Yeah, Jess, I am. But could you do me a favor? Will you sleep with me tonight? This wasnt a strange request to her. For the longest time after I had moved in with her, the images of that night came back so strong and real that she slept most nights in bed with me. I couldnt stand to be alone. Every time I was alone, I was left with only my thoughts, and at that time my every thought was of that night. Being alone was just a reminder that I wasin

every sense of the wordalone. Sure, silly. Now scoot. These beds are a lot smaller than the ones we have at home though. So just know if my ass ends up on the floor sometime throughout the night, Im going kick yours when I climb back in bed with you, she joked, trying to lighten the mood. Deal, I said and scooted as far as the wall would allow. Thank you, Jess. For everything, I whispered to the dark room, and her tiny hand grasped mine. Youre my best friend, Kelsey. Ill always be here. Exhaustion from the dream finally took over and I drifted off to sleep again, holding tight to my best friends hand. I slept through the rest of the night in a

peaceful, dreamless sleep.

A thump that I assumed was Jessis body hitting the floor, was our wakeup call the next morning. After the thump, I heard muffled curse words being thrown around before Jessis wild red hair popped up over the side of my bed. Good Morning. I sweetly smiled at her. She grunted at me before returning my greeting with a quick, Mornin. before she crawled over to her bed, climbed in, and went back to sleep. I silently laughed before making my way to the bathroom for a quick shower. Lucas said it would be okay to shower the

next morning, just as long as I tried to keep my more fragrant-filled soaps away from the tattoo as much as possible. I hopped in the shower and began washing my hair, making sure to keep my hair away from my new tattoo. After I was done, I used a clip to hold my hair on top of my head as I began to wash my body. All and all I think I did a pretty good job keeping my tattoo out of harms way, but I was stilling going to have to wake Sleeping Beauty in there to help me clean the tattoo and reapply the ointment Lucas had given us for them. After finally waking Jessi, and more or less pushing her into the bathroom so she could take her shower, we doctored our tattoos and set out for the day. We started the morning off with a cup of coffee and

small breakfast at the coffee shop Kane and I had gone to that first day after class to have our talk. We then decided a little girls day to celebrate making it through the first week of classes was in order. After finding a salon that could fit us both in, we got our hair washed, trimmed, and styled. There was nothing like having someone else wash your hair. Even if wed already had showers that morning, there was something about salon shampoos that made your hair shine and bounce like no other shampoo could. We both had perfectly-styled, fullbouncing, curls when we came out of the salon. Mine were swept to my left side by a French braid that way I could wear it down, and still keep it off my tattoo. Jessi wanted to go out tonight and of

course she had to have a brand new outfit for the occasion, so we stopped by a few local clothing stores before heading back to the dorm. I was tighter on money than Jessi, so I figured I would just look around and not really buy anything. Well, that had been the plan at least, until I found the cutest pink, off the shoulder dress. The material was so soft and was made to fit you tight and show off all your curves. I was lovingly petting the material when Jessi came up behind me and squealed. Oh mah God, Kelsey! You have to get that dress for tonight! With your tan skin and brown hair, that pink will just pop! she exclaimed. She had a point. I had always been naturally tan, and bright colors always stood out best on me. But bright colors

also drew attention, and attention was something I just wasnt so comfortable with anymore. I dont know, Jessi. I already have some stuff that I can wear. Theres really no point in wasting money for this. At least try it on, Kels. Please pretty please! I want to see how hot you look in it. I stared at the dress for another second or two before conceding there really wasnt any harm in just trying it on. Fine. Let me see if there is a changing room open. I walked into the first open room and hung the dress up on one of the hooks. I stood there staring at the dress for another minute. It had been a long time since I had actually bought myself anything as nice as

this dress. After sliding the soft dress over my body, I looked at myself in the mirror. Trying on this dress might have been a mistake because now that I saw it on me, I really wanted it. It came down to midthigh, a little shorter than what I was used to, but the dress was so beautiful I didnt mind. The one strap that was going across my left shoulder was embossed with tiny silver jewels that glittered when the light hit them. I was in love with the dress and it fit me like a glove. Kelsey! Jessi banged on the door to my changing room. Dont you even think about taking that dress off before Ive had the chance to see it on you! She knew me so well. If I was trying on clothes and didnt like the way they

looked on me, there was no way I was stepping out of those tiny rooms to let the whole store see me in it. But that wasnt the case with this dress. I loved this dress and had a feeling once Jess saw me in it, she would be adamant that I buy it. I slowly twisted the lock, and then the knob to the changing room door before stepping out. Jessis swift intake of air was all I needed to hear to know she also thought the dress was perfect for me. Kelsey you HAVE to buy that dress for tonight! And I have a pair of silver heels that will go perfect with it! I took a look at myself in the large three-sided mirror they had set up outside the changing rooms. She was right. I had to buy this dress. It hugged my body in all

the right places without looking sleazy. I think Im gonna do. Im gonna buy it. I smiled. Great! You can wear it tonight when we meet Landon and Kane at Shots! she pausedOh mah God! I cant wait to see Kanes face when you walk in wearing it! Eeep! Hes going to die! Or get a serious stiffy. She winked. Kane and I were just friends. I doubted he would be interested in what I was wearinglet alone have that other problem. The guy had probably seen girls in skin tight, lacey red lingerie. There was no way he would get turned on by plain little me in a dress. It was official. My best friend had lost it. But now I was feeling a little self-conscious in this dress that five minutes ago, I had been in love

with. But a small tremor of excitement worked its way through my body when I stopped to think about Kanes reaction to seeing me in this dress tonight. He had never seen me dolled up before so this would be a big surprise for him. Will he like it? Hold it right there! Will he like it? Did I seriously just ask myself that question? Since when did I worry about what I was wearing before meeting Kane? I could feel a shift in the way I viewed Kane, and I wasnt sure how I felt about it. If these feelings for him continued to grow, I could possibly mess up the closest friendship I have had since Jessi. I needed to lock this down, now. Jessi insisted she do my makeup when

we were back in the dorms and getting ready. Shed wanted to give me a smokey eye to bring out the bright honey color; and when she was done and I looked at myself in the mirror, I found myself staring at a girl I didnt recognize at first, but in a good way. Jessi had really done a number on my eyes. They were dramatic and seductive looking, and I loved it. If it hadnt taken so long to get all glammed up like this, I would even consider doing it on a regular basis. But seeing as how my butt hurt from sitting in my desk chair for so long while Jessi worked her magic, I would have to pass. Once I was back in my beloved pink dress, Jessi handed me her silver heels and I immediately began shaking my head.

No way, Jessi! You know how big of a klutz I am. I will kill myself in those before the night is over with. You have to wear them, Kelsey. The go perfect with your dress, and, besides, heels make your legs look all toned and hot and stuff. They may hurt like a bitch when the night is over but at least you look fucking incredible while you have them on.She thrust the shoes at me again Now. Put. Them. On. I yanked the shoes from her grasp and slipped them on my feet. Already I could feel the pinch in my toes, and when I stood, my ankles started to wobble. Yeah, this was not going to end well. I just knew it.

We had taken another cab to Shots, and when the driver pulled up there was no mistaking the tall, tattooed man standing outside laughing with the doorman. Kane was wearing a dark pair of blue jeans and a dark blue button-up shirt that had the sleeves rolled up mid forearm. The shirt fit him nicely, hugging his chest and arms in all the right places. His lip ring glinted in the lights and made me go warm all over. Who would have ever thought I would be so attracted to a lip piercing? Not me, thats for sure. Jessi opened the door to the cab and

climbed out, but I had to take my time sliding across the seat and shimmying my way out of the car so that I didnt flash my coocah at everyone. I mean I was wearing panties, but still, how trashy. My dress had ridden up a good inch or so on my thighs by the time Id finally emerged from the car, so I quickly tugged it back into place before looking around to make sure no one had noticed. Kane was staring at me with a look on his face I had never seen him use before. I had seen that look before but it had been never directed toward me. It was a look of hunger. He was looking at me like I was the last piece of triple chocolate cake and he had deprived himself of sweets for years. I felt a tremor run though my body just from the intensity of his stare.

I took my sweet time making my way toward him in one of those slow-motion effects you see in movies and also because I still wasnt used to the death traps on my feet; and eating it right now would ruin the vibe I had going for me at the moment. Jessi and Landon were standing next to Kane by the time Id reached him, and everyone just stood there gawking at me for a second. I was beginning to feel a little insecure at the way they were all staring until Landon let out a long whistle, looking me up and down. Damn girl. You look good! he howledearning him a soft punch to the gut from Jessi. What about me, jerk? She glared up at him.

Baby, youre so beautiful all the time that you knock the words right out of me. Jessi rolled her eyes and muttered Kiss assMaking us all laugh, but when I looked at Kane, he wasnt laughing. He was still starting at me. All right, kids. You ready to get in there? Jessi said and looped her arm around Landons waist. We all nodded and made our way into the building. The boys offered to get our drinks after we found a table, and other than asking what I wanted to drink, Kane didnt say a word to me. Nothing about how I looked, or even a quick hello when I first walked up. Maybe he doesnt like the change in my appearance like I thought he would. Jessi laid a hand on mine and leaned in

close when she noticed my quietness. Whats wrong chick? Nothing. I shrugged. She gave me her spill it look and I sighed before leaning in close to her ear so she would hear me over the music. Its so stupid, really, but I dont know I kinda hoped that maybe Kane would like getting to see a different side of me or something. Jessi looked at me for a while before busting out laughing. What, Jess?! I know its stupid to want him to notice me, but do you really have to laugh at me right now about this? Kelsey, honey, Im not laughing about him not wanting you. Im laughing because you dont realize that he does. What in the world was she talking

about? Kane looked at me as nothing more than a friend, and we had agreed on being exactly that just one week ago. One week. It really seemed like I had known Kane so much longer than a week. The boys returned to the table before I could question Jessi more about her last statement. Kane slid in beside in me but never uttered a word to me. He placed my drink in front of me and began sipping from his bottle of beer. This night was shaping up to be one of the most pathetic nights of my life. I was about halfway through my drink when Nate approached our table. He smiled at everyone before looking to me. Wow, Kelsey. You look amazing. I felt a blush creep up my neck to my face. At least someone had noticed and

commented on my new appearance. I just wished it had come from a different person. Thanks, I said, managing a small smile at him. So, could I bother you for a dance? Everyone at the table was deathly quiet while they waited for my answer. They all stared at me, including Kane, who was staring at me so hard you would think he was trying to look through me. I shook my head. Maybe later? We just got here. Im still not finished with my drink. Ill hold you to that. Nate nodded and winked before walking away. I cant tell if its the music playing, but I could have sworn I heard Kane growl at Nate before he left.

We sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before Jessi drug Landon out onto the dance floor. Kanes actions tonight were making me nervous and I began fidgetingmessing with my hair, pulling at my dress anything to distract me from the awkward tension between us. After a few moments, Kane cleared his throat and I looked at him through my lashes. You really do look amazing, Kelsey. Thank you, I clipped out. I knew I sounded bitchy, but I was a little hurt. I couldnt figure out if he was only telling me because Nate had said it. Because if he had meant it, why in the world would he have waited so long to tell me? He let out a loud sigh and began scrubbing his face with his hands. I

watched him for a second before he turned in the seat to completely face me. Look, I know I should have told you earlier but I was stunned when you stepped out of the cab. Ive never seen you in anything other than jeans, and, honestly, those sexy legs of yours had me floored. I loved what I was seeing, but it also made me jealous that other guys would be seeing it enjoying itjust as much as me. And for that I am a complete ass. It took me a moment to fully grasp what he was saying. He liked how I looked and the reason he was so quiet about it all this time was because he didnt like the idea of other guys checking me out? So did this mean No he couldnt. Could he? I took a good look at Kane. His eyes never wavered from mine. Could the

feeling that I have been feeling for him actually be mutual? Just as I opened my mouth to ask him that question, he surprised me by speaking first. Can we just start this night over? Will you dance with me? I couldnt seem to make my brain function enough to form words so I just nodded. Kane slid from the booth and took my hand to help me out of it as well, and we made our way to the dance floor. A slower, more relaxed song was playing, and I was so thankful for the change of pace in the music. I wasnt really sure I could handle any bumping and grinding at the moment. Not with the realization that Kane may actually be as attracted to me, as I was to him.

Kane held tight to my hand as he led us through all the bodies to the middle of the dance floor. We stood surrounded by people, but I was so focused on Kane that they began to blur from my vision, and then it was like they werent even there at all. When he took me in his arms and began to sway to the beat of the song, I cleared my mind and lost myself in the music. I slowly ran my hands up his arms, feeling every indention from every muscle and I could feel them flexing under my touch. When I finally made it to the top of his arms, I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck and stared into those gray eyes I couldnt get enough of. The song playing was an older Lenny Kravitz song, and when Kane began to whisper the

lyrics in my ear, I knew I would never be able to listen to this song again and not think of Kane and this exact moment. He released his hold on me long enough to reach up and tuck my hair behind my ear before slowing running his fingers through it and laying it over my shoulder, exposing my neckline. Leaning in, he placed his lips on my bare shoulderfirst kissing, and then giving a little nibble. He continued lightly running his nose and lips along my shoulder to my neck. I felt my eyes drifting close and my knees beginning to weaken. I wasnt even sure if we were still dancing. I was too caught up in Kane and what his soft kisses and caresses were doing to my body. He made his way to my ear and pulled my lobe into his mouth,

catching my diamond stud between his teeth before releasing it to nibble on the sensitive spot just below my ear. I couldnt stop the moan that escaped my lips when I felt his warm tongue touch my skin. My whole body was on fire. If his lips felt this good touching my neck, I could just imagine what they would feel like pressed against my own. I slowly pulled back enough for him to look at me, and pled with my eyes for him to understand what I wanted... needed in this moment. His eyes were hooded leading me to believe he was feeling the same desire I was feeling. From the moment I had met Kane, he had sparked something in me that was undeniable. The attraction I had felt for him was no longer just attraction. I couldnt deny the

feelings that were laced within all the want I had burning inside for him. Kelsey, he whispered, Im sorry I just did all that, Im not. I want to kiss you so fucking bad right now. I have wanted to for so long, and I dont think I will be able to tell myself no any longer. But if you say no, then I will somehow find the strength to not crush my mouth to yours and make you forget every problem you have ever hadmake you forget even your own name. Just say the word Kelsey and I will back off. But I cant go another moment without letting you know that right now, all I can think about is how good your skin tastes, and its driving me crazy. I need to know how those lips taste, how soft they are, how they would feel moving against

my own. Please, Kels I couldnt catch my breath, let alone pull enough air into my lungs to speak and tell him that I wanted nothing more than his lips on mine. All I could do was hope the look I was giving him was enough to convince him not to stop. He stared at me for a minute, and when it was obvious that I wasnt able to speak just yet, he went ahead and leaned in ever so slightly, touching his lips to mine. I could feel the cool metal from his lip ring against my lips, and it made a fire inside me come alive. It was the lightest kiss, but it had my body feeling like a live wire. Like an electric current was rolling off me. I felt him pulling away, and disappointment from the loss of contact of our lips filled

me. But that feeling was short livedhe came back in hard and fast, crushing his lips to mine once again. His eager tongue traced my lips, begging for entrance into my mouth, which I happily obliged. His warm tongue slid into my mouth and massaged my own. I could taste beer from his kiss, but it only made me want to devour him that much more. My breathing was shallow and ragged when he pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. At this point, I wasnt sure if I would ever really breathe right again. He finally pulled his head back and lightly ran his thumb across my cheek bone. I automatically leaned into his touch and realized I didnt know if I would ever

really be able to be without his touch ever again. Kane was addicting, plain and simple. He was like a hard drug I couldnt get enough of. That was better than all the times I have dreamt about it, he finally whispered. Deciding I would have to try to converse back before he thought I was a lunatic, I did my best to gather the strength to speak. Youve dreamt about kissing me before? Ive dreamt about a lot more than just kissing you, Kelsey. He stared into my eyes as he said this, and I could feel my chest grow warm and tight just from the thought of him dreaming about me. Ive dreamt about you too. I couldnt believe I had been so bold as to tell him

that. My dreams were far from just kissing him. In my dreams we knew each other on intimate levels. This friendship thing was nonexistent when I was sleeping. Kane slowly closed his eyes. Kelsey, you shouldnt tell me stuff like that right now. Not when all I want to do is drag you out that door and up the stairs to my apartment so I can. Before Kane could finish his sentence, a shouting match interrupted him and another fight broke out. People were pushing and shoving and I could hear a few girls screaming. This was nothing like the fight that had taken place the first night we had met. This fight was much larger. When I scanned the room, it looked as though everyone was throwing punches

left and right. More girls were screaming and crying by the minute, and I was scared that maybe a few of them were receiving some of those blows in all the chaos. Come on, he said as he began dragging me away from the madness, but in all the commotion, the grip on our hands broke and we lost each other. Kane! I screamed. I didnt want to be left in the middle of all this. It brought back way too many memories. I could feel the panic ceasing up my lungs. Kane! I yelled again, but I couldnt see him anywhere. I felt am arm wrap around my waist from behind, and I thought, finally Kane has found me. It wasnt until the face of the person holding me leaned in, and I could feel the scruff of his facial hair

against my cheek did I realize this person was not Kane. Here now little darlin. Its gonna be all right, let ol Rick getcha outta here, he breathed into my ear. His breath alone was enough to turn my stomach, but the thought of him holding me was making it worse. I grabbed hold of his forearm and tried to pry myself loose but there was no use. He was too strong. You just keep real quite now, and we will slip on out this door over here where its less crowded. I tried to remember some of the selfdefense moves I learned in a class that Jessi and I had taken our sophomore year in high school; but with the panic and adrenaline coursing through my veins, it was making it harder to clear my head and

think. When he started pulling me back toward the door, some of the smoke in my head finally cleared. Thinking quickly, I brought my knee up and stomped as hard as I could on his foot. This caused him to loosen his hold on me, enough for me to break away and run. Pushing my way through body after body, I just kept going. Terrified that he was right behind me coming after me. I heard my name being called about the time that I was scooped up into another set of arms. Panic flooded through me again before the smell of Kanes cologne filled my nose, and I took a deep breath. With my face buried into his chest I tried to control my breathing. I lost you, Kels, Im so sorry! I tried to

get back to you, but you werent there and I have been calling out your name trying to find you. Are you okay? I shook my head no into his chest unable to form words right then. He placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back a little bit so he could get a good look at my face. What happened, Kels? What is it? Did someone hurt you? His voice was calm and steady, but I could hear the pure rage laced within it. Some some guy grabbed me. Said he was going to slip me out some back door. He immediately started to walk away from me, but I hurried to grab hold of his hand and stop him before he could get too far.

Where are you going? I asked him. Not wanting him to leave me alone for another second in this madhouse. People were still shouting, and I wasnt even sure if the bouncers had put a stop to the fight yet. Im going to find him, Kels. And when I do, Im going to beat him within an inch of his life. He went to turn again and I gave his arm another tug. Please dont leave me again, Kane. You dont even know what he looks like. Just get me out of here please, I begged him. His face softened and he paused before nodding. I know what he really wanted to do was find that man and follow through with all of his threats, but the night had been a roller coaster of emotions and I

really just wanted to get out of there. Kane gently took my hand and began leading me back toward the doors. He pulled his phone from his pocket, and tapped the screen a few times before putting it to his ear. Hey, I have Kelsey. Im going to take her up to my apartment for a little while. Some dude tried to grab her in all the commotion and shes pretty shaken up, he said to the person on the other end. Okay. See you guys in a few. He slid his phone back in his pocket, and then looked at me. Landon. He and Jessi are going to meet us at the stairs to my apartment. I just live above the bar. Well there was a fun fact I didnt know. I never really thought to ask him where he lived. Even though the thought should have

crossed my mind after the story Nate had told me about Kane leaving the frat and all. We exited the front doors to the bar and made our way down the sidewalk. When he started pulling me down a dark alleyway, I paused and started to pull my hand from his. There was no light except for a small, yellow bulb at the top of a stairway attached to the side of the building that the bar was located in. It wasnt as though I was scared of the dark, but places like this creeped me out and it would creep out any sane person really. Weve all seen those movies where the dumb girl goes off into the dark hallway and the killer is lurking in the shadows somewhere before he jumps out and grabs her. It was that type of darkness.

Chills ran down my spine at the thought of the man from the bar hiding somewhere in the shadows. Kane stopped when I pulled my hand from his, and turned to look at me. What is it? he asked. I nodded toward the alley. Its really dark. He took my hand in his again. Im so used to it that I guess I dont realize that it could be a little freaky for others. Its okay, Kelsey. Im here with you now. I would never let anything happen to you. If I hadnt been such a dumbass, what happened in the bar would have never happened. But I can promise you now that I can make damn sure it never happens again. He was brushing his thumb over my

knuckles so vigorously that they were starting to feel a bit raw. Out of instinct I reached out with my other hand and placed it against his cheek. His expression softened and he covered his hand with mine. Im fine, Kane, really. I feel safe with you. It may be crazy but I have since the moment we met. He smiled as he pulled my hand from his cheek and laid it against his chest where his heart was. Even through his shirt I could feel its steady beat. Im so glad I met you, Kelsey. From the moment I saw you in the caf that day, your face has been stuck in my head. Even when I closed my eyes to sleep all I saw was your beautiful face. I thought it was crazy since I didnt even know you.

Oh I knew exactly what he was talking about. Since the moment I had laid eyes on Kane, he had consumed my every thought. I had been just chalking it up to him being so different from any other guy I had ever met before. Back home, tattoo sleeves and facial piercings were just not the norm, but he sure wore them well. This past week with Kane had really shown a side of him I would have never known existed had I not taken the time to get to know him. It was the little things he would do; like holding the door open for not only me, but for anyone else who would also be behind us. And one day we had gone to the market closest to campus so I could restock mini fridge in Jessis dorm room and mine, I had been talking my time browsing over every pop tart

flavor known to man when Kane walked away from me. At first I thought he was tired of standing there waiting on me to finally make my decision, but I was surprised to find he had actually just walked the short distance to the front of the aisle to help an older lady who was desperately trying to reach a box that was placed on one of the higher shelves. Guys who took the time help others like that couldnt be the awful womanizer type that some people were portraying Kane to be, could they? The sound of giggles and then someone clearing their throat pulled me away from the memories from this last week. When I looked to where the sound had come from, I saw Jessi and Landon standing off to the

side of the ally, staring at Kane and me. I realized then why they had those shocked, yet pleasantly surprised looks on their facesKane and I were still standing toeto-toe with one of my hands in his, and my other pressed against his chest. I nervously took a step back away from Kane. For a few more seconds he continued to hold my hand until I gently pulled it free from his grasp. I didnt miss the way his expression turned slightly irritated before the corners of his mouth dipped down into a frown. We were just checking to see if Kelsey might want a ride home. Landon wavered a bit, as if he were nervous. I heard Kane sharply inhale before Landon went on. I was taking Jessi back to the dorms,

and we thought we would go ahead and take Kelsey. Save you the trouble and all. Kane stood there in silence for a few secondsseconds that felt more like an eternitybefore answering. I dont mind taking her but she can do whatever she wants. He finally turned to look at me. There was something about his expression, as if he was testing me. But, stupidly, when I opened my mouth to speak, my insecurities got the best of me. Well since they are already on their way there, I guess I will just catch a ride with them. No sense in dragging you out. The disappointed look on his face let me know I had failed his test and the whatever he huffed before turning and heading up his stairs, was the bright red pen marking my forehead with a huge F.

I watched him stomp up his stairs, but before he entered his apartment, he gave me one last look. There was no mistaking the hint of sadness in his eyes, and right there, in that ally I wanted to die.

The next morning when I woke, I laid in my bed and stared at my ceiling. My dreams of what might have happened had I actually made it up to Kanes apartment, had made me restless. Was I even ready for something like that? I didnt want to be those type of girls that fall so hard and fast for a guy they just met, but here I was falling for Kane. His experience scared me though. I wasnt ready to go and jump in his bed. Was he expecting that from me? Was he expecting that if he had actually got me in his apartment last night? I would like to

think no. When I was with Kane, I was one hundred percent comfortable. But when I was away from him, the little thoughts of doubt crept into my mind and it was hard to get rid of them. Doubts about his true intentions with me. Doubts about if I would even be enough for him. I laid there for a few more minutes, having an internal tug of war with myself over Kane before deciding a nice hot shower might help calm the struggle going on inside me. After stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around me and walked over to the mirror. With my hand, I wiped the condensation from it and stared at the girl reflected back at me. I still looked like the scared twelve-yearold girl from six years ago. If my mom were still here, she would

know exactly what to do about the Kane situation. My mom always knew the right things to say but she wasnt here, and it was partially my fault. Not being able to stomach looking at myself any longer, I grabbed my hairbrush from the countertop and headed back to the room to finish getting ready. I sat on my bed and began brushing the tangles from my hair when my phone chimed that I had a text. I looked at the screen and saw Kanes name. I couldnt seem to make my fingers slide across the small screen fast enough. I had contemplated texting him before I went to sleep last night to make sure he was okay. I should have just let him bring me back to the dorms. We had shared a kiss after alla hot one at thatbut Id

let my insecurity talk me out of it. Kane: Will you meet me tonight? I took a deep breath before typing out my response. Just tell me when and where. I held my breath waiting for his response. He was taking his time messaging me back. What if the text had been meant for some other girl and now hed realized his screw up? Kane: Pick you up at 7. Seven? That was more than twelve hours from now. I would drive myself crazy all day waiting for seven oclock, but I texted him back with an okay and went about brushing my hair again. When I was almost finished drying my hair sometime later, my phone chimed again taking me by surprise and making

me jump. Grabbing my phone, I saw it was actually a text from Nate. Nate: So study partner. You guys ready to get this project started? Shit. I forgot all about having to meet up and discuss our assignment. But now that I was thinking about it, I needed to do something to pass the time while I waited for seven. I texted him back letting him know I would wake Jessi and we would meet him in the library in a couple of hours. I had to say hours because Jessi was still sleeping there was no way she was going to be ready in less than two hoursnot counting how long it was going to take me to finally coerce her from her bed. Just as I had thoughtit had taken me about forty minutes, and a lot of bouncing

on the bed to actually stir her and get her ass in the shower. We ended up not getting to the library until around one oclock. Nate was already there, waiting at the front desk tapping away at his cell phone. Im sorry, I apologized to him. Have you been waiting long? He smiled and slid his phone into his pocket and shrugged. Nah, just got here myself actually, and I didnt expect you to get here on time anyway. Girls like to be fashionably late or whatever they call it. He winked. Amen to that! Jessi chimed in from behind me and I sent her a glare. She knew I hated being late. She had grown used to me always being on her ass about making it to places on time. Well, anyway, you ready to get

started? I asked them both and we found a quiet table and began to discuss ideas for what we were going to do. Before I knew, it the hours had passed and it was already 6:45 P.M. We had been on a roll with brainstorming and setting up who would handle which parts of the project. Jessi had even been throwing ideas around. I think we had made the right decision to include Nate into our group. He was set on what he was going to do, so there would be no sitting back and letting the girls handle all the work. Which was different then what I was used to. In high school most boysand well lets face it Jessiwould just throw their names on the finished project at the end. With it being so late, there was no way

I was going to have time to make it back to the dorm and freshen up before Kane came; so I texted him and told him to just pick me up at the library. Jessi left a little before Nate and myself to meet Landon. They were going to go to some party that Nates frat was throwing tonight. He had invited me during our study time, but I declined, just saying I had plans for the night. When we finally had everything organized, Nate offered to take it all with him to keep up with it until the next time we got together to go over the project. Worked out perfect for me considering I had Kane meeting me as soon as I left here. We exited the doors to the library, and I found Kane climbing the short steps to the

entrance. My heart did a small flutter when I saw him, and the memory of last nights kiss came flooding back. He had been looking down at his feet as he came up the steps, but as if he felt my gaze on him he, looked uplocking eyes with me. At first I was worried that things might have been a little awkward for a tiny moment, due to how we left things last night. But when he looked at me, he gave me one of his full smiles, the ones that always caused his dimples to sink deep into his cheeks. His smile wavered a bit though when he looked over my shoulder and saw Nate. I was really going to have to ask them both about this one day. Nate seemed to be fine with Kane. It was Kane who seemed to be holding some sort of grudge against, Nate.

Whats up Kane? Nate smiled at him, and again Kane didnt return the smile. You ready or do you need to go back to the dorms for anything? Kane asked me, fully ignoring Nate all together. Um, no Im good. I stuttered. This whole situation was becoming uncomfortable. Ah, so youre the plans Kelsey has for the night that made her blow off my party. Kanes head jerked so fast to glare at Nate, but he didnt say anything back to him. He simply took my hand and began to lead me down the steps. I threw a quick goodbye over my shoulder to Nate. I hated how rude Kane was being, but when he wrapped his hand around mine and the butterflies in my stomach started to flutter, it made it pretty

easy to overlook the rudeness and just go with it. Where are we going? I asked as we walked around the corner to the side of the librarystraight to a black motorcycle with neon green flames. Its a surprise, he said as he swung his leg over the bike and looked at me, obviously waiting for me to hop on. What? he asked with a puzzled look on his face. Ive never been on one before. I nodded toward the motorcycle. Its just a bike, Kelsey. Yeah, just a bike, and a bike has no air bags or seat belts, I added. I would never let anything happen to you. I promise. He held up two fingers like a boy scout.

I seriously doubt you were ever a boy scout, I huffed as I placed one hand on his shoulder and threw my leg over the bike. Man what a smart move it had been to wear jeans tonight. When I was finally on the seat and had my feet on the pegs, I grabbed the sides of his shirt but he took my hands and pulled them around to rest on his chest. Thats not tight enough, he laughed as he kicked the kickstand up and took off. The evening air while riding the motorcycle was a lot cooler than I had thought it would have been. I shivered and buried my face into Kanes back to warm my nose and cheeks up. He must have felt me shiver, because he took one hand from the handlebars and placed it on my arms that were clinging to his chest.

While the warmth felt pretty amazing, my eyes grew wide when I finally realized if he was holding one of my handsthen that meant he was driving the motorcycle with only one hand! KANE! I screeched. Youre going to kill us! Put your hand back up there! I could feel the rumble in his chest from him laughing at me. Im serious! I tried to pull my hand out from under his. Kels, believe me. Ive got this. He turned his head to look at me behind him. That didnt help the unease I felt. If he insisted on driving us with one hand, then by God he would at least keep both eyes on the road. Kane, seriously Im kind of freaking out a little back here. It is my first time

being on a motorcycle and all, so if at all possible, could you please at least keep BOTH eyes facing forward? Again I felt the reverberation in his chest. Stop laughing! Im glad you find my moments of sheer terror humorous. Chill. We will be there in a minute anyway. And where exactly is there? Its a surprise, I told you. I dont really do surprises though, I retorted. I had a feeling you were the type who didnt, he responded. But Im also the type of person who loves to give surprises, so you will learn to love them or deal. Either one. Great.

We cruised through a neighborhood which I would have assumed to be one of the richest in town due to the sizes of the huge houses that lined the streets. Kanes motorcycle roared down the quiet street before coming to a stop in the parking lot of a small park. He pulled the bike into a spot and turned the key. The rumbling beneath me automatically stopped and I sat there for minute trying to let the vibrations in my backside subside before I made any attempt to stand. It was then I noticed I was still clinging to Kanes chest. Clearing my throat, I unclenched my fists from his shirt and tried to smooth the wild mess that I knew my hair had to have been. I really should have pulled it back before agreeing to this ride. I had no clue

what I looked like at the moment, but what was coming to mind with the small light we were getting from the lamp posts in the park, was that my wild tangles sticking out like snakes were coming off a bit Medusaesque. When I finally tamed what I could of my hair, I slid from the bike and waited for Kane to do that same. But he didnt immediately follow suit. He sat there for a minute just staring off into the tree line. Ive never brought anyone here before, he almost whispered, and I stood there in silence not really knowing what to say. He finally turned his head to look at me. I used to come here with my dad from the time I was six. We would always tell my mom we were going to do man stuff. Then we would usually end up here

talking about things like fishing and cars. It always made me feel more grown up, more like a man to be out here just talking with my dad. He softly laughed before continuing, As time went on, our talks got to be more serious. We would talk about my future plans and how when I was finally interested in girls, I should respect them and treat them right. He dropped his gaze to his feet and pushed a small rock around with the toe of his boot. I let him down on that last part. I didnt follow through with how I was supposed to treat women for so long; but I was so caught up in my own self-pity I didnt care about anyone else but myself. Those girls, he paused and looked at me. Im sure you have heard the stories about me.

He wasnt really asking a question, but I nodded anyway. I hated to let him know that I had been clued into the gossip that was Kane Riley; but if he was willing to come clean about his past, then I would be truthful to him. One hundred percent truthful. Thats what I figured. I deserve it really. But I promise you, Kelsey, Im not that way anymore. A few years back when I still belonged to the frat, I hit my lowest point. I was constantly drinking, and if I wasnt drinking, I was trying my hand at a few drugs. I was sleeping with all these random girls, not even bothering to find out the names before or after the fact. I loathed myself and knew that if I couldnt even love me, then there was no way I could love anyone else. So I shut myself

off from everyone. When I was fourteen. My parents had decided to go away for a weekend for their anniversary. I had a football game that weekend and I had it in my head that my dad had to be there like all the other dads. So I gave them this huge guilt trip about going away until they decided to leave their trip early and come home. I had stayed that weekend with my grandparents and half way through the gamewhen I was completely pissed because they still hadnt made itI saw a police officer walk over to my Paw. Then I watched as my grandmothers knees buckled and my paw caught her before she hit the ground. I just stopped playing and stood there and watched what was happening. In that moment I knew my

parents were gone and I knew it was all my fault. I wanted to reach out and touch him. The pain in his voice as he completely came clean about everything hurt me to my core. I knew what it felt like to know the loss of a parent and to believe that it was partially your fault they were not here anymore. I also knew that no matter what anyone said, that guilt would stay with you. So I didnt even try to console him with words. I gathered myself and walked over to him and gently cupped his face in my hands. I placed the lightest kiss on his mouth and when I pulled back, I looked deeply into his eyes. Thank you. For being honest with me. I then took a deep shaky breath. And because of your honesty, I guess now its

my turn.

It had been so long since I had talked about that night. I tried so hard to keep those memories buried deep within me. They usually only slipped out in my sleep. But I knew I needed to do this. I needed to let Kane know about what had happened to me, and what I had done. He had laid it all on the line for me, and I would do the same. Before you start, there is something I want to show you. He finally stood from his bike and took my hand. He started leading us into the tree line, but this time I didnt pull away when the

darkness engulfed us. I trusted that if Kane had me, everything would be okay. When we made it through the thickest portion of the trees, a small path became visible in the moonlight. Still holding my hand, he slowly pulled me down the path. The wildlife called all around us. Its going to get a little tricky up here. The path is blocked off by a boulder and we have to scoot around it but I will have hold of you at all times so you wont need to worry. I nervously gulped and nodded. It sounded sketchy, but even in the dark; Kane walked this path with a purpose. His footsteps fell strongly, as if he was confident in every step, so I trusted he would be able to navigate us even in the dark.

After walking a short distance, the path became blocked off by a huge rock like he had said it would. I didnt see how we would get around it. This rock was huge. It was about as wide as an SUV and taller then Kane. Kane veered to the right and began scooting his way along the edge of the rock. I stood there for a minute, nervous that even if Kane had hold of me, I would still fall to my death and bring him down with me. All right, Kelsey, your turn. Just give me your hand and keep as close to the rock as you can, and you will be fine. Um, okay, I said as I timidly took a step closer and placed my hand in his waiting hand. Thats it. Now just scoot your body

along the boulder and keep holding my hand. Youre doing just fine. I plastered my body against the rock. I could have had five feet behind me for all I knew, but I couldnt tell in this darkness. Not taking any chancesshirt be damned I began sliding my body along that rock. Thats it. Almost there, Kane encouraged me. I had reached the curled edge of the boulder with my fingertips, when I was yanked the last few steps around the rock. Kane pulled me into his arms. His warm embrace had my heart fluttering and I did the only thing I could think to do at that moment. I looked up into his eyes and said ... Hi. He looked down at me and chuckled. Hey.

If I could face palm right now without coming off as a complete spaz, I would. Before I could die of any more embarrassment, Kane turned, unwrapped his arms from around me, and took my hand before leading me on down the path. It didnt take long before we got to the area Kane had wanted to show me. The view was breathtaking. It overlooked the college and the town. The twinkle of the lights from the cars traveling below and the street lights made the town look almost serene. Like something out of a movie. Wow, Kane, this is beautiful, I said as I slowly made my way to the edge of the rock to take a quick peak down. Yep, just as I thought. High, we were very high. My stomach flipped from the sight, and I slowly backed away from the

edge, yelping when my body connected with something. Is this how we are going to spend the rest of our lives? You always bumping into me? We both smiled and Kane nodded toward a smaller rock off to the side. You wanna sit for a little while? Take in the view? Sure. We both had a seat, and Kane threaded his fingers through mine. I smiled down at our hands. It was like they were made for each other. They fit together like a piece of a puzzle. I havent been here in months, Kane said as he looked out over the view. I dont know why, and up until this morning I hadnt really given this place much thought. But then you were the first thing

that came to my mind when I woke up this morning and it felt right to bring you here. Thank you for sharing your special place with me and for your honesty back there. I took a deep breath before I continued. But since you were so open with me its only fair that I do the same. Kelsey, I told you that because I wanted you to know me. The real me. Not the things that you would hear about me around school. You dont have to tell me anything youre not ready to. Thats not what this is about. I held up my hand to stop him. I want to tell you, Kane, because honestly there may be times that I might try pulling away from you; and what I am about to tell you might explain why. All I have wanted for

the past six years is to get away from my past and start over where no one knew anything about me. But I cant keep this going with you like we are, and not be honest with you. It wouldnt be fair for either of us. All my life I grew up watching my father beat my mother. She always tried to keep it hidden from me when I was younger. She would play it off like mommy and daddy were just playing, but as I got older I began to understand what was happening. None of my friends moms had bruises on them from playing with their daddies, and as I got older the beatings began to get worse. At first he would only hit or grab her in the places she could hide the marks, but over time he began to get angrier more often and started hitting her anywhere he could land a hand.

She was so brave, though. I dont want you to think she was weak because she never turned him in. My mother was the bravest person I know. She put up with him because of me. She never said it, but I know its true. She didnt want to risk having to share custody with him. So as long as she was taking the beating she stayed. My voice began to crack but I kept going. One night when I was twelve I wanted to go out with Jessi and her family for her brothers birthday dinner. They had already invited me and my mom said I could go, but when my dad got home he was in a pissed-off mood and began cursing at my mom about how our spotless house was never clean enough and how she was lazy. I couldnt take it anymore,

and I finally snapped and started arguing with him. I began telling him how be better leave my mom alone or I would call the cops and tell them all the things he had been doing to her all these years. My mom was telling me to be quiet and to just go to Jessis; but once I got started I couldnt stop. All my hatred for him was spilling out of me, and I just kept telling him exactly what I thought of him and how he would end up in jail and we would finally be rid of him. He came at me with his hand drawn back to hit me, and when I cowered away from him, my mom stepped up between us and slapped him straight across the face. It was the loudest crack I had ever heard, and right away my mom knew things were going to get bad. She

turned to me and told me to run. To get out of the house and get help and not look back. I didnt want to leave her, but I didnt know what else to do. So I ran. When I got to the door, I looked back and saw my dad grab my mom by her hair and yank her head back. The tears were spilling from my eyes and I didnt try to stop them. There was no point. He grabbed her by her neck and began to squeeze. He was shouting but I couldnt hear any of it. All I could hear was my pounding heart and my mother gasping as she tried to pull air into her lungs. I just stood there and watched as he squeezed her neck so tight and so hard that her face started to turn blue. I just stood there and watched as her body went limp in his arms and her eyes became unfocused. I

just stood there and watched as my mother was murdered. My breathing was uncontrollable now as I tried to finish the rest of the story. My father dropped to his knees with my moms body and began shaking her. Her limp arms flopped and her head fell to the side. When her empty eyes stared back at me, I knew in that second that my mom was gone. I couldnt stop the scream that erupted from my body and that drew my dads attention away from my mom, to me. He laid my moms lifeless body on the floor, got up and began to stalk toward me. I scrambled to get the door open before he made it to me. I had just jerked it open when I felt him grab for my shirt but I rushed out the door screaming for help until my throat was raw. Some of our

neighbors had been outside and raced over to me. I told them what had just happened and collapsed in the middle of the street. When I looked back toward my house, my father was standing in the doorway. There was so much talking going on around me. People were asking me if I was okay, if my mom was okay, and calling 911 but I couldnt answer any of them. My fathers stare was all I could concentrate on. I didnt look away until one of my neighbors picked me up and began carrying me toward his house. When I looked over his shoulder toward my house, my father was gone. I looked at Kane. So now you know my shame. I stood there and watched my father murder my mother. It was my fault he was so

angry, and she sacrificed herself to save me and I just watched as he choked the life out of her. Kanes hand was squeezing mine, not too tightly as to hurt, but more like tight enough to let me know he was there. Kelsey I know you have probably heard this a million times but there was nothing you could do. I huffed and rolled my eyes. He was right. I had heard that a million times, and each time I heard it made me sick. It was my fault he was so angry and I could have done something, anything but I didnt. I was a coward and I would have to live with that for the rest of my life. As I should. KelseyKane grabbed me by my shoulders, making me look at himyou

were twelve. There was no way you could have stood up to a man like that. You were lucky to make it out of there alive. Im sorry about what happened to your mom but there was nothing. You. Could. Do. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. I hated talking about that night. I hated bringing those memories back. It had been years since I had even spoken about that night. It never got any easier to talk about it. Kane didnt try to talk to me about it anymore. Instead he just sat there and held me til my eyes couldnt manage any more tears.

After I had expelled the last tear from my eyes, I wiped the moisture from my cheeks and looked at Kane. The small circles he had been rubbing on my back while I had my breakdown were comforting. I couldnt believe that I had just spilled my guts like that to him, but I felt unbelievably better about the whole situation. I couldnt deny the feelings that were growing for him anymore, and I would not be comfortable keeping that part of my life hidden from him. Thank you. His voice startled me and I gave him a questioning look. For

trusting me enough to tell me that. I couldnt imagine growing up with a coward like your father. If you dont mind me asking what happened to him? I shrugged. He went to prison and I have not seen or spoken to him since. He could have died in there for all I know. Which was true. The last time Id seen my father was when the court officers were escorting him out of the courtroom the day he was sentenced for my moms murder. I remember feeling his cold stare on me. I had made it all through the trail, not wasting one single look at him, but Id made the mistake of looking up just before he had fully exited the courtroom. He was, of course, staring at me. His face had no expression, but his eyes said it all. He hated me, he probably always had.

Not once do I ever remember hearing my father tell my mother or me that he loved us. How could he after the way he had treated my mother? But the way his eyes looked in this moment, there was no mistaking it. He hated me. Hated me for what was happening to him. There was no sorrow or guilt about what he had done. Just the rage and the anger because now he was no longer in control and in that moment I silently prayed he would never make it out of prison alive. That the prisoners he would now be living with would show him the same treatment he had shown my mother all those years. My father ended up being convicted of murder in the 3rd degree. The bastard was a quick thinker and had actually taken the

time to run back to the kitchen, grab a knife, slice his arm and plant it on my mother, claiming she came at him with it with intent to kill him and that he was only defending himself. I, of course, told my side of what had happened that night, and the jury ultimately found him guilty in the end. After walking out of the courtroom that day, I vowed I would never think of him again and went straight to file papers to legally change my last name to Rienmy mothers maiden name. I had become so used to it now that his last name was all but a distant memory. The only people who knew that my last name was not Rien were Jessi, her family, and the people from my hometown and that was the way it would stay. This was

one truth I wouldnt even tell Kane. I would no longer be tainted by that man. I wanted no part of anything that had to do with my father and I never would. So I would never acknowledge having that name ever again. Kane sat there silence for another second or two before standing. He held both hands out for me and I laid my hands in his to let him pull me up. He gently rubbed my knuckles with his thumbs. Im so glad I met you Kelsey and Im so glad I brought you here. This place has always been special to me and now that I have you here with me, its perfect. I smiled up and he slowly lowered his head to mine, kissing me so softly and so deeply that the rest of the world and the memories melted away into the dark night.

Kane drove me back to the dorms shortly after that. He waited on his motorcycle until I had made in safely inside. When I was safely inside my dorm building I turned and gave him a small wave through the window. He nodded his head at me before he took off into the night. As I waited for the elevator I couldnt stop touching my lips. They were still slightly swollen from the heavy make out session wed had on his bike before I finally climbed off to come inside. As I stepped onto the elevator, my phone chimed with a text from Jessi letting me know she was staying with Landon. So that meant there would be no walking in on any nakedness tonight. Thank God. I was still drained from telling Kane about

my past. Crying always made me sleepy and all I could think about now was taking a shower, crashing, and waking up tomorrow and pretending it never happened. After showering and drying my hair because my mom always said dont go to sleep with wet hair or you will get sickI climbed in my bed. I had no more pulled the covers up over my body when my phone vibrated from the night stand. Kane: Cant stop thinking about tonight... Kane. My cheeks immediately pulled up into a smile. Me neither. <3 I nervously bit my lip, waiting for him to reply. Maybe I shouldnt have put the heart?

Kane: I can still taste you on my lips, and its making it hard for me to keep myself from throwing on my boots and coming to you. What have you done to me Kelsey? I sighed. Probably the same thing he had done to me. I always hated watching movies where the couple falls so hard and so fast. I had always thought that was too good to be true. Things like that didnt happen in real life. But here I was so wrapped up in a guy that I had known for a little over a week. Kane: Get some sleep, beautiful. I just wanted you to know I will be falling asleep tonight thinking about you. Goodnight. Goodnight.

I reached over to lay my phone on the nightstand beside my bed. The charms on my bracelet jingled as they dangled from my wrist. I wished so bad that my mom could meet Kane. She would have been able to see through all the bullshit from the start. She was always good at reading people. I dont know where she went wrong when it came to my dad. My mom had met my dad when she turned seventeen. She had instantly fallen in love with him and she told me about all the sweet little things he used to do for her when they first began their romance. Right after my moms eighteenth birthday she found out she was pregnant. She was still a senior in high school and had to drop out because I would due in the middle of the school year. She and my dad

married shortly after, and thats when things began to change with him. I dont think we will ever know what changed inside him causing him to become such an evil person. Women are abused by their husbands every day for no reason. I honestly believe some people are just born evil and grow to be good at hiding it. My dad was a master manipulator and my mom didnt stand a chance. He sucked her in then trapped her by getting her pregnant with me. She probably would have been better off had I never been born. Maybe I was the trigger for my dads rage. That was something we would never know. That man was dead to me now. As far as I was concerned I hate no father. I didnt want to think about him

anymore, so I thought back to happier times with my mom. Like when she had taken me to pick out a new charm for my bracelet. It was my tenth birthday and she had made such a big deal about me finally being in the double digit numbers. She had taken me to the jewelry store and told me I could pick out whatever charm I wanted. I browsed all the glass cases hoping the one I was meant to have would become evident the moment I saw it. I was beginning to think I would never find that special one, when in the very last case, sat a charm of two interlinked hearts. I knew right away that that was the charm I was meant to have. It had always been me and my mom against the world. She was my best friend. My rock. The two

linked hearts were me and her. Always together. Or so I thought. I drifted off to sleep studying the tiny charms, but sleep didnt last long before I jolted awake. My body and clothes were drenched in sweat and when I wiped my face, I found moisture there. I must have been crying in my sleep. I thought back to the dream I was having. I was back in my old house. It was that night again. Only this time my father stood back leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and I was there with my hands wrapped around my mothers neck, her eyes turning cold and empty all over again. I pried my eyes from the scene and looked to my father, who with a sinister smile on his face, was looking straight at me. Not the me that was in the dream

the me that was watching it all. See, sweet pea. Youre just as guilty as I am, hed laughed. I tried screaming no, that this was all his fault. That he did this, not me. But no words would come out, only air. Maybe I couldnt say anything because there was some truth behind his words. I was just as guilty as he was. He may have been the one to do the deed, but I set the whole plan in motion. If only I had kept my mouth shut that night. If only I had listened to my mom when she told me to leave, and had not kept standing there fighting with him like I had. She wouldnt have needed to protect me from him and he wouldnt havent have lost it like he did, and maybe I would still have my mom here.

I jumped from my bed and ran to the bathroom to expel what little contents I had in my stomach. The nightmares had not been this bad in a while. I would go months in between each one but now I was having them more frequently again. The only thing I could think that would have triggered this one was the fact that I had told Kane about that night just a few hours ago. When the heaving finally subsided, I hunched over the sink and rinsed my mouth, making sure not to look in the mirror as I did, in fear of the eyes that would stare back at me. I made my way back to my bed, but couldnt find sleep again. I was scared to close my eyes and risk being brought back to that night. So I grabbed my phone and headphones from

the nightstand, and listened to music to pass the time until the sun finally came up.

When the sun finally filled my tiny dorm room, I pulled my headphones from my ears and laid my phone back on the table to get ready for the day. I decided to take another shower even though I had taken one the night before. I wanted to wash away the icky feeling that the sweat caused from my nightmare and I figured another quick shower couldnt hurt. While shampooing my hair there was a light tap at the bathroom door before I heard it open and then close. Um, hello? I called and my fingers stopped massaging the shampoo into my

scalp. Its me, stupid. Who else would it be? Jessis voiced carried over the rushing water of the shower. Well you never know these days! I finished washing, then rinsing my hair and turned the water off. I blindly felt along the outside wall for my towel before it was placed in my hand by Jessi. After I had wrapped it around my body I pulled back the shower curtain to find Jessi perched on the sink, her legs crossed at her ankles with a smile on her face. Spill it, girl. I didnt bug you for details last night because I was a bit occupied myself but youre giving me all the juicy details now. Where did you go? how far did you go? She waggled her eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes at

her. You know me better than that, Jess. I didnt go far at all. I paused and bit my lip. But I will say this he is an AMAZING kisser. Jessi jumped from the sink with a squeal. I KNEW IT! Gah, how is it kissing someone with a lip piercing? Ive always wondered. I bet its super-hot. She fanned herself and I smiled. Oh yeah, its most definitely hot. I was getting a little tickle in my belly from the memories of the kisses Kane and I had shared. So, do you like him? I paused for a second before shyly nodding. I do, Jess. I dont know what it is about him but he kinda just gets me. Landon said that hes never seen Kane

behave the way he does when hes around you. That he has never actually seen Kane show more than a full days worth of attention to any girl in general and that Kane isnt really the relationship type. And I cant lie, Kels, that scares me a little for you since youre my best friend and you have never shown this much attention to any guy before. Im scared that you are going to fall hard and fast and that Kane wont be there to catch you when you do. Do you think that maybe he might just be a little too good to be true? I looked at my friend. I dont know what I had done to deserve her friendship but she was always there for me. She was there before my whole world came crashing down, she was there after, and she would be there til they laid us both in

the ground, side by side with matching tombstones that read best on one, and friends on the otheryeah it was morbid that we had this all planned out, but that was just us. I know all about what he used to be like, Jess, but hes changed. I know it sounds crazy for me to say he has changed when I didnt even know him before, but he came clean about the stuff he has done and the people he has hurt in the process and I honestly believe him. It couldnt have been easy for him to admit to me that he used girls for sex at one point.I pausedI really do believe him, Jess. Which is why last night I came clean about my past too. Jessis eyes widened. You told him about your mom?

I nodded. Kelsey, thats such a big deal. I cant believe you told him about that so soon. You never talk about your mom and what happened. I know, believe me I never expected to do so, but he opened up to me. Telling me about his past. Not only the part about the women but also some stuff about his parents too and it just didnt feel right not be as open and honest with him as he was with me. I told you, Jessi, I dont know what it is about him, but I feel so close to him. Kelsey, Im so glad you have found someone you can connect with. Believe me I truly ambut please, please be careful. I dont want to see you hurt. I mean Kanes a big guy and all but if he

were to ever hurt my girl do not doubt the fact that I would be all over him like spider monkey. I laughed and hugged her. That was my Jessi. She may have been the size of a Chihuahua but she had the attitude of a Pit Bull. After we got ready, we headed out to grab a quick bite to eat before classes. We were laughing about some crazy story that Jessi had just told me when I looked up and found Kane at the bottom of the stairs to our dorm. He was leaning against his motorcycle with a coffee tray in one hand and a small bag in the other. He comes baring gifts. I like him already, Jessi said as she playfully bumped my hip with hers. Kane smiled as we approached and

held the tray out for Jessi to take. I figured you ladies could use some coffee and a couple of muffins this morning, he said, but he never took his eyes off me. My cheeks were becoming sore from the obscene amount of smiling I had been doing these past few days. Taking me by surprise, Kane leaned in a placed a slow kiss on my cheek. My eyes shifted to Jessi who mouthed the words so cute back to me. Well, since Im feeling a little third wheel-ish here, Im going to go and see if I can meet up with Landon before class. Ill see you guys later. Love you, Kels, Jessi said as she handed me coffee from the tray. She blew me a kiss, then retreated in the other direction. Thank you for the coffee. We were just

headed out for some before class actually. Well why dont I walk you to your class while you drink your coffee? I nodded and we began the short walk to my first class. Half way there I felt Kanes hand slide down my arm before he interlaced his fingers with mine. The butterflies erupted in my stomach like a volcano and I suppressed the huge grin on my face with a quick sip of my warm coffee. The walk to class had seemed a lot shorter than normal, but a lot of that may have had to do with the fact that I wasnt ready to let go of Kanes hand yet. Approaching the door to my class, Kane gave my hand a small tug, pulling me back to him where he immediately covered my

mouth with his. I could taste the coffee on his tongue. Best way to have morning coffeeever! When the kiss was over, Kane rested his forehead against mine and sighed. I had to do that. I couldnt wait any longer. After the dream I had last night all I could think about doing was getting to you this morning and kissing you. Well that must have been some dream, I joked. You have no idea. He finally pulled back to look at me. As I stared into those beautiful gray eyes of his, I couldnt help but wonder how did I get here? How could someone as attractive and as personable as Kane want anything to do with sheltered and broken me? I didnt want to dwell on

those thoughts too much because I wanted him. I wanted him to want mebut for this to actually be happening was all a little surreal. One final kiss from Kane and I made my way into class. He waited at the door until I was seated at my desk before sending a sly smile my way. He then slowly backed away from the door, disappearing from my sight. I shook my head trying to clear the thoughts of soft lips and lip rings from my mind, but it was no use. This was going to be a long class.

After class I packed my things up and walked out the door. I was grabbed from behind and let out a yelp, but when the

familiar coolness of metal touched my neck, I knew exactly who had me. How is it that you always manage to walk me to class and still be waiting for me when class is over? I asked as I turned in his arms to face him. He shrugged. What can I say, my professors love me. I rolled my eyes at him. Cocky much? Slinging his arm around my shoulder he shrugged. Nah. Just confident. We made our way to class after class. Kane always walking me to them, and waiting for me after. We were always touching each other in some way on the walks. Whether it be holding hands, or his arm around my shoulders and mine around his waist. I caught a few dirty looks from some girls and noticed some of the guys

checking us out. I know what they were all thinking. What was Kane doing with her? Lunch was pretty much uneventful. Kane had me go ahead and take a seat at the table while he went and filled a try for us. Surprisingly, he actually picked out food that I would eat. How did you know what I would want? I raised my brow at him. Shrugging, he said, I got what sounded good, and honestly you dont really eat like a girl, remember? You kinda eat like a dude, so I got what I would eat. I laughed at the memory of that first lunch day. I guess he was right, I did kind of eat like a guy. After lunch, Jessi and Landon actually fell into step with Kane and me on the way to class. Jess kept sending me secret looks

that screamed Oh mah God! So cute. Which earned her a death glare from me. Kane and Landon talked about some big game that was happening this weekend, but sports were the one thing you would find me completely girly about. I didnt understand them and I didnt try to. Every time I tried to watch football I ended up losing the ball in all the commotion and just cheered when my section would cheer. When we made it to the door to my class, Kane stopped and glanced inside before scooping me up in his arms, deeply kissing me. By the time he was done, I was a little kiss drunk and couldnt even find the words to tell him goodbye. I just stood there feeling like my head was surrounded by tiny stars and swirls, like

those old cartoons when the characters would get bumped on the head. When I finally gathered my composure I entered the class and went right to my seat. Well, well, well. You two seem to be pretty cozy. Jessis voice called to me and I turned in my seat too look at her. She had her chin perched on her fist and was batting her lashes at me. Hush, I mumbled. What? Im just stating the obvious. I have never even seen you kiss anyone since, what, freshman year when you kissed Walker Philips at Katy Allens pool party? I gasped and leaned closer to her. You said you would never bring that up again! You know he pretty much assaulted me. Practically licking my entire face in the

process! I cringed from the memory. Jessi had begged me go to that party. Before everything had happened with my mom, Jessi, Katy, and I used to have sleepovers every other weekend. A few nights before the party when her and her parents thought I was sleeping, I overheard them talking down the hall from my room. They were talking about how they were worried about me. How since my mothers death I was secluding myself and I was holding in all my grief because I wouldnt talk about that night with anyone. Not them, not Jessi, and not the stupid therapist everyone said I should see. I didnt want to relive that night, and every time I talked about it I did. Every time I closed my eyes I saw my mothers

cold blank stare and her purple lips gasping for air. No, living through it once was enough. I would talk about that night as little as humanly possible for the rest of my life. But the next day when Jessi asked me to go with her to the party, I had agreed so maybe they would stop worrying. I was sitting there, contemplating leaving early when Walker came over to talk to me. I was a little surprised hed done so because this was around the time that people began to pull away from me. I was sitting on one of the lounge chairs in the back of the pool area picking at the pink polish on my nails when I felt a body plop down beside me. I thought it was Jessi at first but was met with the slight smell of alcohol and Walkers lopsided

grin. Hows it going, Kelsey? Havent seen you around much lately. Im at school every day, Walker. Just like you. I was trying to play nice and converse with him, but in all actuality I was annoyed. It had been months since he had even attempted to speak to me and now that he had a few beers in his system, he decided it was a good time to approach me? Yeah, but youre not the same you that you were before. I glared at him. He had no idea how I was not the same me that I was before. He placed his clammy hand on the bare skin of my thigh just below my shorts. I tried shaking off his hand but his sticky

palm wouldnt budge. Remember how it used be, Kel? Remember when you were dying to oh shit. Maybe I shouldnt have used that word. I had heard enough. I loved Jessi and her parents, but I couldnt put up with this or these people for another second. I quickly got up, but when I tried to step around Walkers legs he grabbed my wrist and tugged me down onto his lap. Oh come on, Kel, you know I didnt mean it that way. All Im trying to say is before all that went down, I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend. Walker, believe me when I say this. You may have been planning on asking me to be your girlfriend, but you are quick to forget that doesnt mean I would have

said yes. I made a move to stand again but he held firm to my waist and covered the bottom half of my face with his open mouth. It only took him about a minute to realize he was making out with my chin and by that time the damage was done. Someone saw us and yelled, Kelsey and Walker is getting it on! I never thought I would live that day down. Thankfully, shortly after that is when everyone decided to avoid me like the plague and it was never spoken of again. Well, other than when Jessi would have a horrific make out experience and would always refer it to a Walker Wash. I know, I know. I couldnt resist! she laughed and held up both of her hands.

I huffed and turned around in my seat, vowing I would give her a silent treatment for the rest of class. We were still waiting on Professor Hanson to come out of her office when Nate knelt down on the other side of my desk. Hey, he said with a nod. When is the next study session? Ive got a busy week and I just wanted to make sure that it wouldnt fall on a day that I have something planned. Oh, um, I think Jessi is pretty busy this week too. Im free whenever though. So why dont you just text me and we will work something out? Sounds good. I will text you sometime this evening with the days and times I am free. He paused for a minute and looked down at the floor. So you and Kane,

huh? I started at him for a minute, what kind of question was that? Um, Im not sure what you mean? I was truly puzzled as to why he would even bring it up. Sure he had tried to warn me about Kanes past indiscretions, but I was a big girl and could handle myself. Nothing. I just thoughtya know what? Never mind. Ill talk to you later, Kelsey. Then he got up and made his way back to his seat. When I looked at Jessi, she was starting at me. I shrugged letting her know I had no clue what any of that was about and tried not to think about it the rest of class.

Nate texted me later that afternoon letting me know that he wouldnt be able to study at all through the week. Something had come up, and the only day he would have free would be Sunday morning. That was one of the days that Jessi wouldnt be available, but considering we still had a lot left to doand lets face it, Jessi wasnt a huge contributor to the project anywayI agreed to just meet on Sunday and work with Nate. I would just catch Jessi up on everything before we were to meet again. Kane had stuff to do that afternoon so I

spent my time catching up on some reading. I had always loved reading. It was a passion I had gotten from my mom. As far back as I could remember she had been reading to me. I was reading full-length novels but the time I was in middle schoolnot those momma type novels, but ones based for my agebut my mom would always read whatever book I was reading, no matter how juvenile they were to what she was used to reading, just so we could talk and gush over our favorite parts and the people we hated most in the books. After she died, I didnt think I would ever be able to pick up a book again. The first book I finished after her death, I had laid in bed and cried for hours because I didnt have her to talk to about

it. I wanted to know what she would have thought when the heroine of the book found herself in a situation she never thought she would have. And I wanted to know when the lead couple shared their first kiss, if it gave her butterflies like it did me. Reading was something I had to slowly work my way back to. I knew I needed to continue reading, no matter if it did hurt every time I finished a book. It was something we had shared a passion in and it was one thing that could keep me close to her in a way. So I spent the afternoon lost in a fictional world where no matter how bad things got, they always worked out in the end. Nothing like real life, but it was always nice to get away for a while.

I hadnt noticed I had fallen asleep until I opened my eyes and found the dorm room in complete darkness. I blindly felt for my phone and slid my finger across the screen to unlock it. I had a few text messages and a missed call from an unknown number with a voicemail. I decided to read the texts first. The first one being from Jessi letting me know she wouldnt be back until sometime later tonight. The next was from Kane telling me how work sucked and all he could think about was me. He had to go to work at the bar and get everything stocked up and ready for the big game this weekend. Because he was working through the week helping them prepare for the large numbers they would have this weekend, he was able to have Saturday off.

I tapped out a quick reply to both of them, and then listened to the voicemail. It was weird because I never got unknown number calls. Maybe it was a telemarketer and the voicemail would be asking me if I wanted to subscribe to their home security system. After putting in my passcode I listened to the robotic female voice tell me I had one new message. I pressed one to hear the new message but there was nothing there. Only the slight muffled sound of breathing that lasted a good minute or so before I heard a raspy chuckle and a click. I didnt recognize the voice but it had sent chills down my spine and I immediately erased the message and went for a shower. After my shower I was sitting at my

desk in my pink robe, contemplating ordering a pizza when there was a knock at the door. I slowly made my way across the room, still leery after that creepy voicemail. I slowly pulled back my door just enough to peak at who was on the other side. Sighing with relief, I drew the door the rest of the way open and took in Kane standing there in a black wife beater which left his tats on full display. He was wearing a pair of lighter jeans that hung low on his hips and he had his black ball cap covering a black bandanna and his trusted aviators perched on top of them. In his hands were two take out boxes. I smiled and leaned against my door. Thought you would be working late? He shrugged and returned my smile. I

worked my ass off to finish up early. Thought you might be hungry. Oh boy was I ever, and the smell coming from those tiny bags in his hands was enough to make me rub my chin and check for drool. I stepped back a little and motioned for him to come on in. Kane came in and went and had a seat on my bed. After I closed the door I realized I had a boy in my room ... all alone. And on top of that, I was standing here with said boy, wearing nothing but a fluffy pink robe. Automatically I clutched my already tightly closed robe just a little bit tighter. Cleaning my throat I said, Um, Im just going to throw some close on. I rushed over to my dresser for some yoga pants and realized that I was going to

have to get in my underwear drawer and actually pull a pair out in front of Kane. This could not get any more awkward if I tried. But just as I thought that, the pair of black panties I had been trying to discretely pull from the drawer got caught on something causing them to sling shot into the air and come crashing down right at Kanes feet. I stood there for a minute, not wanting to even glance over at Kane for fear that I would just drop dead of embarrassment right there at his feet, right beside my undergarments. I heard the bed creak and the heavy thumps of his foot falls. I closed my eyes tight; I didnt need to see him to know that he was standing behind me now. I felt his head lower, his rough cheek resting against the side of my head. I

believe these are yours. I slowly turn my head keeping my eyes tightly closed. When I finally found the courage to open my eyes, I was met with my black panties, dangling from one of Kanes fingers. I slowly reached up and took them from his finger I mean whats the use in trying to hurry and snatch them away? The damage had already been done. I clutched my panties to my chest and finally made eye contact with Kane. I could see humor in his eyes, but there was also something else there. Something that may have been lust? I wasnt one hundred percent sure, but I know that just that look from him had me feeling all kinds of lust like to the umpteenth power. Thanks, I squeaked and swiftly turned

back toward my dresser to dig out some clothes, because the fact that I was only wearing a thin piece of cloth over my entire body and the way my body was humming all over right now, was not a good combination. I needed to be fully clothed and about five more feet away from Kane so I could clear my head. Without so much as another word to Kane, I grabbed the first articles of clothing that my hands touched, not caring if they even matched. I rushed off to my bathroom, slamming the door in my haste. When I was safely in the bathroom, I leaned back against the door and was finally able to catch my breath. That was intense. I had never had anyone make my body feel like that before and he hadnt even really touched me, but it felt like he

had. It felt as if every surface of my skin was on fire and dipped in ice at the same time. And I dont even want to get into the tingles that were happening, well everywhere. I had never been so turned on in my life and I dont even know what I had really been turned on about. Didnt he have to at least touch me to do that? God, I sounded like a complete moron. Could it be any more obvious that I knew absolutely nothing about sex? I walked over to the sink, gripping the sides for support. I needed to get a hold of myself before I embarrassed myself even further. I splashed some cool water on my face and applied just a touch of makeup; I needed to try to cover the flush in my face just a little. After I was finally dressed in actual

clothes, I slowly turned the knob to the door and crept back inside my dorm. Kane was still there on my bed, but this time he was starting down at his cell with a smile on his face. That damn cell again. I tried my best to not let it get to me, but dammit, I was curious who he was always talking to on that thing that made him smile so much. Sensing my presence, he looked up at me. I shyly sat down on the bed next to him and he surprised me by holding his phone out where I could look at the screen. There was a text message pulled up. My first thought was that he had texted on of his friends to let them know what a complete spaz I was, but the contact name at the top read Maw. She recently got a cell and now shes trying to learn how to text. Its funny as

shit, he laughed. I read through some of the messages well actually Im not sure you could really call them messages because most were random letters or half words. Finally at the bottom she did manage to get out one full sentenceCan you hear me? I busted out laughing, I felt bad for laughing at his grandmother like that but he was right, it was pretty funny. I dont know why she doesnt just call me. She says she wants to keep up with the times and be able to text, but if its going to always be like this I think Im going to have to step in at some point and put a stop to the madness. I loved watching him talk about his grandparents. You could tell he loved them and respected them. It made me wish

I had known my grandparents better. I never knew my dads parents. He never really talked about them much but my mom had told me that my grandfather had died when my dad was young, and that my grandmother had died shortly after they were married. I did get to meet my grandparents on my moms side once, though. I dont remember it because I was a baby but there were pictures of them holding me. They lived across the country and had also died before I was even old enough to remember. Thats why after my moms death I was sent to live with Jessi since I didnt have any other immediate family. Shes pretty excited to meet you this weekend. Kane bumped my shoulder, reminding me that I was in fact going to

his grandparents house this weekend to watch the game. I guess it was a big tradition for everyone in their neighborhood to show up for a big cookout and watch the game there. At least I would have Jessi with me. She was going with Landon, who apparently never misses it or the chance to eat Kanes grandmas deserts. Have they met a lot of your, um, friends? I didnt really know what to call us. Sure we were holding hands and kissing and spending more time together than ever, but he had not officially said what we were, and I was so new to this I honestly wasnt sure. I would have been considering him my boyfriend but I knew that guys didnt like to label things so quickly, so it was probably best if I just

sat back and played it by ear until he was ready to make that decision. He took my hand is his. No, no they havent. I really dont even take anyone there, well, besides Landon, and he has been my best friend since we were in diapers. I kind of got stuck with him since our parents had been best friends since college, he laughed and I knew he was joking about getting stuck with Landon. They were as close, if not closer than Jessi and I. But no, to answer your question I dont take people to meet my grandparents unless they are special and you, you are more special than anyone I have ever met. I have never met a more awkwardly cute, yet stunningly beautiful girl in all my life. Youre smart and funny, and

ridiculously sexy and you dont even know it. He lightly placed his hand on my cheek and I immediately leaned into his touch as though I had known it all my life. You, Kelsey, are special. You are so strong and so brave. There will never be another person in this world that would ever compare to you, and I cant believe you actually choose to waste your time with a loser like me. I wont argue about it though, because now that I have you in my life I cant imagine going through every day without you. Im a selfish bastard, Kelsey. There is probably someone out there who would be better for you, give you all the things you deserve but I just cant let that happen. I want you. I want you to be mine. The thought of you with someone else is something I honestly cant

even stomach. I know we have only known each other a short time and people might think we are crazy or rushing this, but this feels right. It feels as though I had been unknowingly searching for something and then that day in the caf when I saw you, it all clicked. I didnt know you, hell I didnt even know your name, but I knew that I was drawn to you and wanted to know all about this beautiful stranger with the silky brown hair and warm eyes. I covered his hand with mine and looked deeply into his eyes. Honestly I feel the same way. I have never had someone I didnt know consume me the way you have. My life has been so messed up. I never wanted to let anyone else in. Never thought I actually would, but from the moment I met you there was this pull

that I couldnt deny. I thought it was just me, and that I was just having some serious crushing issues because, lets face it, you could honestly have your choice of anyone on this campus and you choose to spend your time with me. Its so crazy to me, but like you said, I dont want to question it. I know I want you in my life. Kane leaned in slowly, pausing for a minute right before our lips touched. Close enough that I could feel his hot breath on my face. He lingered there for a moment, almost making me think he had changed his mind about kissing me, but then he softy placed his lips against mine. The kiss was so soft and sweet but still held so much strength and passion. He took his time, making sure I was fully kissed on the outside before I felt the

warm sliver of his tongue caressing my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I happily obliged. Kane brought his other hand up and buried it in the hair at the back of my neck. Between the feel of his light tugging on my hair and the way he was kissing me, before I knew it, my body was moving, climbing onto Kanes lap. When I had my legs straddling his hips I took control of the kiss. I was exploring his mouth the way he had done mine so many times. I knew if felt good to me but I wasnt really sure I was doing it right until I heard him growl in between kisses and he brought his hands down to firmly grip my hips. My shirt had ridden up a tad bit, just enough that parts of his hands were touching my bare skin, and the heat from

his hands on my skin sent me into a frenzy. I was gripping at his arms so tight and I could feel my breathing becoming uneven and almost panting. I hadnt even noticed that my hips had begun rocking on his lap. I had never in my life taken it this far with someone. Hell, I had hardly even kissed boys, but I just got so caught up in Kanes kisses that my body took over and it was going to do what it wanted to to make itself feel good. No matter how crazy it made me look in the process. Kanes grip on my hips grew tighter and I noticed he was helping me move now. I could feel a warmth grow hotter and hotter in my stomach, and before I knew it there was an explosion, or what felt like an explosion anyway. It felt as though every hair on my body was standing straight on

end and my toes were curled so hard I was a little scared of the Charlie horse that would follow. I then realized how my chest was heaving right in Kanes face. I was so embarrassed that I had even climbed on his lap in the first place. Now how was I even going to face him after pretty much dry hump raping him when all he was after was a kiss? I scurried off his lap and made my way across the room, putting some distance between us. I hugged myself, mortified about what had just happened. Kelsey. Im so sorry. I dont know what that was about. I have never done anything like that before. I chanced a glance at him and saw that he was getting up from my bed. Great. Way to go Kelsey. You have

really scared him away now. But Kane didnt make his way toward my door like I thought he might. Instead, he took a few long strides and wrapped his arms around me. Kelsey, that right there was one of the hottest things that has ever happened to me. You completely took control there and believe me, I was more than willing to let you use me in any way you saw fit. He turned me in his arms to face him and I wanted to bury my face in my hands. I was a complete freak right there. Im so sorry. I damn near assaulted you. He barked out a laugh and pulled me closer to his chest. No. Kelsey, you didnt. I am a guy after all. I would never push you into anything youre not ready to do, but believe me if you ever feel like

you are ready to maybe test the waters a little, I am more than willing to help you out with that. He winked to try to lighten the mood. I smiled up at him but still felt like a compete spaz. I couldnt believe I had just orgasmed like that in front of him. Kane cleared his throat and kind of shifted from foot to foot. As much as I would love to stay and spend some more time with you, I think Im going to have to call it a night a little early and, uh, take care of something. He glanced down. I followed where his eyes had gone and my hand flew to my mouth when I noticed the huge bulge in his pants. It was obviously pushing against his jeans and probably had to be quite painful. Poor

guy. I was even worse than I thought. Um, maybe I could help you out with that? I questioned, but my voice was noticeably shaky. He shook his head. No its all right. Nothing I havent dealt with before, but I will say this, it was the best way it has ever been brought on. He gave me a sly smile. Ill text you later, okay? I nodded. Honestly I was a little relieved that he hadnt taken me up on my offer because I would have had no clue what to even do with it had he said yes. Kane gave me a quick kiss goodbye and headed out the door. After he was gone I noticed the still-untouched food lying on my bed. If I hadnt been starving, I would have probably felt bad about devouring half of it within five minutes after hed left

with the problem he did. But it smelled so good and like I said, I was starving, so I ate my fill and put the rest in our mini fridge with a note for Jessi, letting her know there was more left over if she wanted it. Then I climbed into my bed and read some more while I waited for Kanes text letting me know he had made it home safely.

Over the next few days, Kane and I had fallen into a pretty steady routine. We spent as much time as we could together when he wasnt working. We made out a lot, but there were no mishaps like beforenot that the urge didnt hit to jump him when we kissed, I was just becoming more in control of myself around him. The day of the cookout, I stressed all day over what to wear. I mean I was meeting his grandparents after all, and they were important to him so I wanted them to really like me. This would be the

first time I had ever met the family of a guy I was interested in, so I was freaking out a little bit. Usually people had high school to get used to that awkward first time meeting the family thing, but since my high school years were mostly spent hiding out, I never had the chance. Now here I was eighteen years old and scared to death to meet someones grandma. Kelsey, would you just pick something already? Landon will be here in a minute, Jessi huffed from where she sat perched on her bed. I need to find the perfect thing to wear, Jess. I have to make a good impression on them. Kane really looks up to his grandparents, and if they dont like me, well maybe it would be a deal breaker for him, I said as I tossed yet another shirt

over my shoulder where it landed in the pile with the others that I had already deemed not worthy. I guess Jessi had finally had enough of my mini melt down because she hopped off her bed, made her way to me, gripped my shoulder and gave me one firm shake. Snap out of it! They will love you! Everyone loves you. You need to give yourself more credit sometimes. I sighed and looked down at my feet. I just feel like I need to build myself up so high, Jess, that way when the darkest side of me becomes known, maybe it wont matter so much to people because I will have already established myself with them and they will be able to absorb that awful side and not hold it against me. Jessi firmly grasped my chin and made

me look into her pale blue eyes. No, you listen to me Kelsey Makinzee Rien. Oh no, she pulled the full name card. I was in trouble now. What happened six years ago was. Not. Your. Fault! The person whose fault it is, is rotting in a jail cell somewhere probably getting raped daily by his celly. I raised my eyebrow at her and she shrugged. We can hope right? After what that personI will not call him a man, and I will not call him your dad he lost that rightbut after what he did to your mom, and after what you had to grow up witnessing every day, he deserves all the hell that he can go through on this earth before he rots for the rest of eternity in a different kind of hell. She loosened her grip on my chin and took my hands in her

tiny hands. I hate that you do this to yourself, Kelsey. You are the only person who cant see how special you are. Lord knows you have had it rough, and I cant imagine what it is like for you. But as your best friend, it hurts me to see you tear yourself down the way you do. You of all people deserve happiness now. So, please, Im begging you. Let it in. Let Kane in. Let me in. I grabbed my best friend in a tight hug. I felt the warmth of a tear slowing slipping down my cheeks. I knew what Jessi was talking about, but it was easier said than done. She didnt know how my mother looked at me for help and I just stood there and watched all the life drain from her. It was something I didnt think I

would ever forgive myself for. H e may have been rotting in a prison somewhere, but it didnt help with the fact that some small part of me believed that maybe I should probably be sharing the cell right beside him. Im sorry, Jessi. I know how difficult it is to have me as a friend. You have no idea how much your friendship means to me. I will try to work on it, okay? You deserve that much from me. Jessi shook her head, her wild red curls flying everywhere. No, Kelsey, I dont want you to do this for me, I want you to do this for you. I will be here for you no matter what. You will never get rid of me but you need to forgive yourself. Your mom wouldnt want you to go through life hating yourself for something you had no

control over. You were stuck in a horrible situation and there was nothing you could have done. I dont care how many times the world would tell me that, I couldnt make myself believe it. I had taken the cowardly way out and I would have to carry that with me for the rest of my life, but I would do as I promised Jessi. I would work on me. Shit. Now Im going to have to redo your make up on top of finding you something to wear, Jessi said as she ran her thumbs under my eyes to try to clear my cheeks of the little black streaks that I know had to be running down due to my crying. Im sorry to have brought that up like that on a day that I know you are already stressing over. Not a good move on my

part, Jessi sighed. No Jessi, its okay. I need you to give me a kick in the ass every now and then to make me remember I do have to go on living. That no matter how much it hurts, I am still here and I have people who gathered around me and loved me when they didnt have to and I need to be thankful for that. Which was true. With all my shame and guilt over my mom, I rarely took the time to be thankful for Jessi and her family extending their home and their love to me when they didnt have to. They could have let me go off into the system, but they took me in and cared for me as if I was one of their own and the way I repaid them was to mope and feel sorry for myself for the six years I had lived with them. I ached

every day for my mom, but I needed to find that happy medium of being thankful for what I still had and learning to live with what I had done. I wanted to be happy again, I really did. I just hadnt figured out how to be that way yet.

After many different wardrobe changes, Jessi helped me decide on a nice summer dress and a light sweater. Her reasoning for the choice being, His grandparents are old, old people grew up in a time where girls wore a lot of dresses. Though her reasoning may have been a little crazy, I went with it and then let her reapply my makeup. She was just finishing up when there was a knock at the door.

Thats probably Landon. Ill get it, Jessi said as she hopped over the pile of clothes that still lay in the middle of the floor. I was going to have to clean up this mess when I got back. As I made my way to the door to leave, Jessi, stepped back in the room closing the door behind her. In her arms was a large arrangement of flowers. Was that Landon? Are those from him? I questioned. She shook her head. No there was no one at the door. Just these sitting on the floor. I looked down the halls but didnt see anyone. The card has your name on it. Maybe they are from Kane? She handed me the flowers and I plucked the card from the plastic stem. The top of the card did read my name but

the message was very vague. There was no name stating who they were from, only a message saying, Be seeing you. Be seeing you? Jessi read aloud over my shoulder. Who do you think they are from? The handwriting on the card was obviously female, so I assumed the lady at the flower shop had filled it out, but I honestly had no clue who they were from. It wasnt as if I knew a bunch of people but I couldnt understand if they were from someone I knew, why they wouldnt sign their name. I dont know. Maybe it was meant for a different Kelsey in the dorms or something and they got the rooms mixed up, I said as I placed the flowers on my desk. I hated the thought that someone

might have spent their money, and that the other Kelsey would never know she had these beautiful flowers. Or maybe you have a secret admirer, Jessi teased as she poked me in my ribs, and I rolled my eyes at her. What?! Youre hot, girl. I wouldnt be surprised if half the guys on campus want them a little piece, but they have enough sense in their heads to not approach you because Kane would more than likely flip his shit. Flip his shit, Jessi, really? For starters I have had no guys approach me the entire time we have been here other than Kane and well Nate. So I highly doubt anything you just said. She was crazy. It wasnt as though I had guys lined up at my door, I never had.

Oh believe me, honey, they are all looking, but the thing you dont realize is that Kane is like a shadow. He doesnt know it, but I watch him around you sometimes. He is always so focused on you and you just have no clue about anything. You dont know that when he catches people checking you out that he gives them this look that can be sometimes downright scary, but hot all at the same time. Well hot for me, scary for the poor fool whose eyes linger just a bit too long on you. Did that really happen? Did Kane really scare off anyone that looked my way? While that would be a little annoying, it also made me a little giddy. It was kind of a turn-on to have him claiming me as his in a dont touch AND dont look kind of

way, and I was smiling at the thought. There was another quick knock at the door and Jessi and I looked at each other. Oh no. You get it this time. If there are more gifts out there for you I might just get a little depressed. I laughed at her and went to the door. This time on the other side stood Landon. I pushed the door open wider so she could see who was out there. See, this time it is for you. She walked right into his arms and gave him a quick kiss. This time huh? What am I missing here? Landon asked as he wrapped his arm around Jessis waist. Nothing, just Kelsey getting a large flower arrangement from an unknown source. You wouldnt know anything about that would you?

Landon glanced around me and saw the flowers on the desk and shook his head. Nope. Are they from Kane? I dont think so. The card didnt say who they were from, but you would think if they were from Kane he would have left his name, right? Landon shrugged. I guess that makes sense. I dont know anything about it if he was planning on surprising you with flowers, but I know one thing, if they are not from him its going to be pretty entertaining when he finds out who they are from, he chuckled to himself. There it was again. More people sensing Kane had this possessiveness over me. How was I the only one not to see it? Well if you ladies are ready, we have a barbeque to get to. I havent eaten all

day just preparing for it. So if you dont mind I would like to get our asses over there. With one last glance at the flowers, I followed them out the door. I didnt know who they were from, but if the message on the card held true I guess I would be seeing them soon.

Landon drove us to a neighborhood that seemed so familiar. I couldnt put my finger on what it was at first, but then I realized I had been here before. Only the last time I was here it was dark and I was on the back of a motorcycle. This is the same neighborhood Kane had driven us through the night he had taken me to his spot and I spilled my guts to him. We pulled up in front of a large house and I could see Kanes bike sitting in the driveway. If I looked close enough to the end of the street, I could see the park. He

never told me his grandparents lived on this street, but then again why would he? But still, Kane was pretty much raised by his grandparents so that meant he was raised in the ginormous house setting in front of me. I could see someone like Nate growing up here. He screamed rich and proper lifestyle. Not Kane though. With his tattoos and piercings you would never expect to see him walk out the front door of a house like this, but there he was, stepping out onto the porch making his way down the perfectly manicured lawn to Landons truck. I was still a little awestruck when Kane pulled the door to the truck open and helped me out. I couldnt take my eyes off this house. Now I was really nervous to meet his grandparents. What if they were

like those old time people on TV that already had who their children and grandchildren were going to end up with picked out and they would look at me as no more than a threat to their plans. Glad you could make it. You look beautiful. Kanes words finally drew my attention away from the house and I looked at him and saw he was slowly running his eyes up and down my body. She ought to! She went through every damn piece of clothing both she and I own to get that look, Jessi said as she slid across the seat of the truck and hopped out behind me. When Landon made his way around the truck to her she gave his stomach a hard slap. Ugh! What the hell was that for?! Landon grunted and grabbed his stomach.

Did you see what Kane did there? He opened the door for Kelsey and helped her out. You need to take note, dummy. We all started laughing but mine was more of a nervous laugh. I still couldnt shake the feeling that there was a chance his grandparents would hate me. Thanks a lot man, Landon growled and pushed past us all, playfully dragging Jessi toward the house. We are going in to get some grub. Im not sticking around you and taking a chance on you making me look bad in front of my girl anymore. Brother, you dont have to have me to do that, Kane yelled, earning him a middle finger from Landon as he disappeared into the house with Jessi. So you ready to head in? Kane asked as he gave my hand a slight tug, but it was

like my feet had taken root in the front yard and they wouldnt budge. He turned back to me; the smile that was on his face was now slipping. Whats wrong? he asked, and I could hear the concern in his voice. I took a deep breath. What if they dont like me. I know how important they are to you and honestly I have never met a boy anyones parents before now, well besides Jessis. I couldnt believe I had almost slipped and called Kane my boyfriend. I wasnt sure what we were. Sure the things Jessi had told me about him not liking other guys looking at me might have been true, but that didnt make him my boyfriend. Kane sighed and cupped my cheeks making me look into those mesmerizing

gray eyes. Out here in the sunlight they were reflecting back at me so bright. Kelsey, they will love you. I havent been able to stop talking about you to them since we met, so its pretty much like they know you anyway. You make me happy and they love to see me happy. I promise youre going to be fine. I took a deep breath and nodded. I was here now anyway so there was no turning back. He lightly kissed my lips, then took my hands in his again and led me to the house. Once we were inside I heard several conversations happening and the loud barking laughs of some men. But the smell it was like I had died and gone to heaven. I could smell the familiar smell of food cooking on the grill, and then there was this sweet smell in the air.

I couldnt put my finger on what exactly the smell was. Maybe it was butter? I dont know, all I knew was if it smelled that good, I could only imagine what it would taste like. Now I could see why Landon was so eager to eat. My stomach was growling at that moment and I prayed the noise level in the house was enough to mask it from Kane. This way. Kane began pulling me through the foyer to the living room. The far wall was made of three sets of French doors put together. Every door was open, allowing the smells of the grilling meats to make their way through the house. Once we stepped outside, I scanned the yard that was full of people standing around talking and little kids running around playing tag. He wasnt joking when he

said the neighborhood got together for this. There were so many people here I wouldnt doubt if all their neighbors were here in this one backyard. He continued to lead the way over to a very large outdoor kitchen. Mastering the grill was an older man, his hair was gray and he had a large smile on his face as he talked with a few other men. I could see the resemblance of his smile with Kanes. This must have been his grandpa. Hey, Paw, Kane said as we approached the old man, who turned in our direction at Kanes greeting. His smile never wavered. Well now, who do we have here? he said as he glanced back and forth between Kane and me. Kane pulled me up beside him and

wrapped his arm around my waist. This is Kelsey. The girl I told you about. The old man looked at me for another second or two before barking out a laugh and pulling me from Kanes side into a tight hug. Its about damn time, boy. Me and your maw were beginning to think you had done lost your mind and made the whole thing up. He pushed me back at arms length, then looked over my shoulder at Kane. I will tell you this, she sure is a pretty one. I blushed at his statement and I could hear Kane laughing behind me. Now you tell me, sweetheart, what in the world is a pretty little thing like you doing with that ugly mug back there? The old man nodded in Kanes direction. I tried to tell him when he went and put that dang thing in his lip that there

was no way he would ever get a girl now. And I told you, old man, that the ladies love it. Makes me look all hard ass, Kane said as he pulled me from his grandpas arms. Now gets your hands off my woman. You got one of your own and then some. Kane playfully punched his grandpas shoulder. What can I say, the ladies love me. He shrugged. But that little ol gal in there cooking away stole my heart when I was about your age, and the little thief never gave it back. I loved the way his grandpa lit up when he talked about his grandma. I hadnt grown up seeing love like that. Sure my mom loved me, but there was never any love that I could see between my parents.

Just control and fear. Seeing the way Kanes grandpa was still so deeply in love with his grandma after all these years had me hoping that I would be that lucky to have someone love me like that. My name is Ralph. Ralph Riley. He smiled and held out his hand. Kelsey Rien. I smiled back and placed my hand in his, and he gave my arm a good, firm shake. Boy, dont just stand there like a stick in the mud. Take her on in there to your Maw and get her something sweet to eat. I will have these steaks done shortly, Ralph ordered Kane. I gave him a slight wave goodbye and then Kane led me back into the house. Okay, that wasnt so bad. One grandparent down, one to go. If his

grandma was anything like Ralph I think I would be just fine. When we were back in the house Kane started leading me down a short hall. With each step I took, the smell of baked goods grew stronger and stronger. I wonder if their house always smelled like this. No need for scented candles if you could bake I guess. At the end of the hall was a massive kitchen. I guess it would have to be massive though to fit into this huge house. There were a few women exiting the other side of the room, but then there was one short, plump woman with short, dark hair and flour on her apron running all around the large room. Maw, Kane said, but the woman didnt stop what she was doing. She had her back to us and was running back and

forth from the oven to what looked like pie dough on the counter. Maw! Kane yelled, and the little old woman abruptly tuned to us and grabbed her chest. Kane Matthew! Are you trying to give your maw a heart attack?! Dont sneak up on me like that. Kane laughed and let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around his grandmother. She hardly came up to Kanes shoulders so I could tell she was very short. How are you, sweetie? I put two apple pies in the back of the fridge for you to take home with you later. Thanks, Maw. I have someone I want you to meet. He glanced over at me and her eyes followed suit. This is Kelsey. He smiled and so did his grandma. I nervously made my way to them. Its

so nice to meet you. You have a beautiful home. Thank you for having me. Oh God, Kelsey. Stop rambling. His grandma continued to smile at me, even with all my awkwardness. We are so happy to have you, honey. I could tan Kanes hide for not bringing you around sooner. He picks a time when he knows we are going to be swamped with people to bring you around. She reached up and firmly grasped Kanes chin. I love you, but sometimes you are not very bright. She pulled his face down by his chin and placed a kiss on his cheek. Ha! Thanks, Maw. You see what she did there? Kane glanced at me. She insults me, but because she loves me and kisses me it makes it okay. You women. He shook his head and I giggled.

Boy, just because you are a man now dont think I wont take a wooden spoon to your hide. Dont sass me. I know what you were thinking. You thought if you bring her when we have the big cookout she would get lost in all the commotion, but Maw knows how you think. Thats why Kelsey is going to help me finish up these pies and youre going to go out there and help your Paw with the grill. Go on now, scoot. We have girl things to do. I sent Kane a panicked look, but he just smiled and kissed his grandmother on the cheek. He then came over to me and whispered, You will be fine, in my ear and left the room. Now it was just me and his grandma. What in the world did she want to be alone with me for? I just stood there knotting my hands together. Not sure

what to do next. Well, come on over here, girl. I wont bite. She sweetly smiled at me, but it didnt help my unease. I slowly made my way toward her and she handed me the rolling pin. You ever roll out pie dough before? I shook my head. No, maam. Oh, honey, youre going to have to cut the maam stuff out right now. My name is Emma. You best learn to use it. I noticed then she said everything with a smile. This woman could be insulting you, but her smile was so sweet that you would never realize it was an insult. The trick is, you have to make sure you have enough flour so that the pin doesnt stick to the dough. Like this. She said as she sprinkled the flour over the ball of

dough in front of us and began to roll it out. See? Now you try. I have a couple pies I need to get out of the oven. She handed the roller back to me and I went about rolling the dough out just like she had. My mom had never made pies from scratch before. We always bought the frozen kind or the ones already baked from the deli. My mom was a hell of a cook, but she could not bake to save her life. The cookies were always burnt, the one time she tried to bake me a birthday cake the middle of the cake was still wet. We had laughed about it for hours and she vowed to never try baking again. Lost in my memory, I didnt notice Emma had returned to her position beside of me. Am I doing this right? I asked, the

dough was rolling out easily but I had no clue if I was rolling it too thin or if it was too thick. Thats perfect. Ill grab a pan and let you lay it in it. She laid one of those aluminum pie pans in front of the dough I had just rolled flat. Now what you have to do here is fold the dough over the roller and then lay it over the pan. Yeah, that would be easier said than done because when I tried to lift the dough from the countertop it began to tear. I immediately stopped what I was doing. Im going to mess it up. Maybe you should do it. She just shook her head. Its okay. Just quickly move it and we can worry about if it tears later.

I took a deep breath and did as she said. When I finally had the dough in the pan, there was only a slight tear. Now heres how we fix that. Just take your fingers and pinch the tear closed. Then lightly press down on it til it is even with the rest of the dough. I did as she said and had the hole closed in no time. She then dumped a bowl of cut apples into the pan with the dough, sprinkled some sugar and cinnamon on top, then placed the dough she had already rolled out on top of the now-full pie pan. She then cut off the excess dough, pinching the edges to seal the two doughs together before placing the pie in the oven. Now that thats done, come sit and talk with me.

She led the way to a small corner table that had a pitcher of lemonade sitting there. We both took a seat and she filled up two glasses that sat beside the pitcher. That grandson of mine has not stopped talking about you. I think he might be in love. I choked on my lemonade. Kane love me? That was just crazy. Though I had some crazy strong feelings for Kane, I wasnt even sure the feelings were mutual. I could always hope they were, but until he said the words to me I would never know. Kane has never brought a girl here or even talked about one to us before. You must be something special. I could feel the blush creeping up my neck. I was nothing special. It made me

happy to think that she believed I was but when she found out about my past it would be a hard fall. I should probably set her straight about it now, but I didnt want to. For just a little while I wanted to be someone different. I wanted to be special. Kane is something else. I have never met anyone like him before, I said in between sips of my lemonade. He sure is. That boy has not had an easy life. Losing his parents so young changed him. He went through a faze for a while where he wouldnt let anyone close to him. He was out of control. The rage that was inside him about things he could not change, and the fact that he wouldnt let himself grieve over the loss of his parents, had me fearing he was ruined. His first instinct was to react with his fists. I

dont know how many times I had to go to the school and talk to the principle about him fighting with the other kids. He actually broke one poor boys nose with a locker door once. We tried to talk to him, but he wouldnt let us in. As soon as he graduated he moved out and hardly came around for a while. I couldnt believe the things she was telling me. This didnt sound like the Kane I knew at all. Oh, sweetie, I didnt mean to scare you. I can tell by that look on your face that you never expected to hear all of this. He is nothing like that boy anymore. From time to time we would hear the rumble of that dang motorcycle go by and we would see him park at the park down the street. His daddy used to go there when he was a

teenager and had been taking Kane there pretty much since he was born. Then one day instead of driving right by our house he surprised us and pulled in. Ralph and I had been sitting on our porch and he walked right up to us and hugged us, apologizing for everything. He said that he knew that his parents would be disappointed in the way he had turned out, and it made him sick to think of the way they would look at him now and from that day on he has been a completely different person. He goes to school, he works, and he still takes time to come see his old Paw and Maw. Now that was more like the Kane I had come to know. Considerate and kind. I knew Kane had a past, everyone does. Lord knows my past is far from fairytale

perfect, but it hurt me to know that he went through so much pain and fury over his parents the way he did. It also made me hope, though. Looking at where he had been to where he is now sparked some faith that I too would one day heal. That I would be able to come to terms with what had happened. He has also changed since he met you. Her words jarred me from my thoughts and she placed her hand on mine. He has seemed happier these last few weeks. When he talks about you he lights up. I havent seen him light up like that since he was a boy. Sure he has come to terms with his parents death and has learned to live again, but you my dear, you make him happy again. And I thank you for that.

I just smiled back at her. I didnt really know what to say. Kane made me happy too. I never thought things would end up here but I was glad they were. I was glad Kane was in my life. I was surprised when I felt a set of warm lips brush against my cheek and when I turned, I found Kanes gray eyes and his wide smile. Can I have her back now, Maw? Paw is pulling the steaks off the grill and everyone is already sitting at the tables out back. I came in here to get the two prettiest women I know. Emma got up from her chair and patted Kane on the cheek. Such a kiss ass, but I love you anyway. I covered my mouth with my hand to hold in my laugh. I never thought I would

hear the word ass come out of that little old lady, but boy was it funny. Emma headed out back where everyone was waiting, leaving Kane and me alone in the kitchen. So how did it go in here? he asked as he jumped up on the counter and popped some kind of Emmas sugary goodness that was sitting in a basket on the counter into his mouth. I got up from my chair and went to stand between his legs. I just wanted to be near him, to hug him for a minute because of all the pain hed gone through in his past. I was so happy that after some time he was able to find peace with it all. When I was tucked between his legs, I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest. I hadnt had a

home in quite some time, but whenever I was in Kanes arms, I felt at home. I felt comfort and peace. Not that I am complaining about this, but did something happen? Did my Maw say something to you? I just shook my head. I didnt want to tell him she had revealed some of his past to me. When he was ready to tell me about it, he would. No. I just missed you and I am happy you brought me here today. Your family is great and I can see why you care about them so much, and its obvious they adore you. He smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. When he pulled back he looked me in the eyes. But come on, who wouldnt adore me though? I laughed and shoved his chest hard,

catching him by surprise and almost knocking him off the counter. What? I was being serious. He winked. Come on, lets go see if we can eat enough to fill our bellies as big as that head of yours. Kane hopped from the counter and wrapped his arms around my waist before lifting me into the air. I dont know how I ever went without you in my life, Kelsey Rien, and I sure as hell never want to be without you now that I have you. I softly kissed his lips as he held me suspended in the air. I knew exactly what he meant and I made myself a promise right there in his grandmothers kitchen that I would learn to live again. There was too much good happening in my life right

now for me to keep dragging everyone down with me. Like the tiny dandelion seeds, I had longed to be set free. Free from the memories, free from the pain and the shame. Maybe Kane was that tiny puff of wind I had been waiting for to come and set me free.

We took our seats at the table out back with everyone else. I glanced around and finally spotted Jessi sitting a few seats down from me beside Landon. I had almost forgotten about them being here. There was a clatter and Kanes grandpa stood up with his cup in hand. Just want to take a minute to welcome everyone and say how much we love having you people here for this every year. He warmly smiled at everyone around the table. We have been grilling out for this game as far back as I can

remember. Probably since Paulmay god rest his soulwas a baby, and over the years some of the faces we were used to seeing would dwindle off and new ones would come. I couldnt miss his eyes glance in mine and Kanes direction. But Emma and I would just like to thank each and every one of you from the bottom of our hearts for finding the time to spend with an old man and woman, and making these years more enjoyable. Now Ill stop flapping my jaws and let you people eat. Im pretty sure Landon down there is having a hard time keeping the drool running down his chin wiped away. The entire table erupted in laughter and you could hear Landon throwing a Har har har over all the commotion as Ralph

sat back down. I kept my eyes on him and I could have sworn he might have winked at me, but Kane began piling my pate full of food and Ralph and I lost eye contact. After the gamewhich we won everyone started to say their goodbyes and go home. When most of the crowd had gone, it was just Kanes grandparents, Jessi, Landon, Kane and myself left. The men were outside putting away all the tables and chairs, and Jessi and I were in the kitchen helping Emma clean up and put away leftovers. We were just finishing up when the guys came through the back laughing and shouting at each other about what their favorite parts of the game had been. No, man, youre wrong. He sacked the kid so hard I swear I could hear bones

breaking through the TV. Landon was shouting over Kane and Ralph. Yeah, Landon, we hear ya. Kane rolled his eyes, then they landed on me and he gave me one of his deep dimple smiles. You laugh but I am serious! I would not want to get tackled by that dude. Hes a fuc he stopped what he was saying and glanced at Emma who had a wooden spoon pointed in his direction. You want to rephrase that last comment? She narrowed her eyes at him. Sorry, Miss Emma, just a little caught up in the moment. He sweetly smiled and came over to wrap her up in a hug. Good. Cause I had a pie all ready and waiting for you to take home. I would hate to have to take it away from you as

punishment for using that ugly word. She patted his cheek. Oh, Maw, I dont know what youre all worked up about. Didnt you just call me a kiss ass not more than five hours ago? Kane raised his eyebrow at her and in return got the wooden spoon pointed in his direction. Boy dont you sass your Maw. I may be old but I will still wear your tail out with this spoon you hear me? The F word is just an ugly word, and the way you kids spill it out of your mouth all the time she stopped and began shaking her head back and forthSoap! All of you need a good bar of soap in the mouth and you would think twice about using such ugly words. I know, Maw, I know, Kane cooed as

he walked over to her with his arms open wide for a hug; but instead he received a quick thump to the forehead with the spoon she had been threating everyone with. Ow! Maw! That hurt! he said as he rubbed the top of his head. That was just for good measure. Let me hear the word fall from your lips and I will give you more than just that one little tap. We all couldnt hold in our laughter at the sight of Kane rubbing his head and his grandma still pointing that spoon at him. All right, Em, I think you have given the young people a good enough life lesson. Ralph cut in. Yeah, dont use the F word or you will have little old ladies chasing you around

with bars of soap and wooden spoons, Landon finished and took off out of the room when Emma turned to look at him, throwing a thanks for the food over his shoulder. Jessi and I thanked Kanes grandparents for having us and told them goodbye, but as Jessi walked out the door I felt a hand touch my arm and I stopped. I dont know what pain you have gone through in your life, but I can see it all over your face. It was Ralph that had stopped me. Kane was still in the kitchen with Emma. Kane used to have the same hurt about him. There is nothing anyone can say to make that kind of pain go away. You either learn to deal and move on, or you let it consume you and you shut down. I dont think its just coincidence that you

and my grandson have found each other. Maybe he is what you have been needing all along to finally let go of the things that haunt you. I looked into his eyes and noticed they were the same gray as Kanes; they just didnt shine as bright. His looked duller from age and sadness. All the thoughts of Kane losing his parents had made me completely overlook the fact that these people had also lost a son. I found myself flipping the charms on my bracelet and Ralph gently took my hand to stop my nervous habit. All I am saying is when the time comes for you to finally let it all go let it. Let Kane be there for you. We will be there for you too, Kelsey. It doesnt take an idiot to see you are a special young

woman. Even my grandson who can be a complete fool was smart enough to see it and scoop you up. He smiled, which made me smile. Thank you. For everything. I meant more than just his hospitality and for welcoming me into their home, but I think he knew exactly what I was thanking him for without me having to say the words. He nodded and Kane came out of the kitchen with a bag of the leftovers Emma was sending him home with. You ready, beautiful? he asked me and I nodded. He then gave his grandfather a quick hug. Ill be back over in a day or two to change the oil in Maws car. Ralph nodded. I told you I can handle it but if you insist, go right ahead. You can be the one to get your hands dirty and I

will just stand back and boss. What? Like you dont do that already? Kane joked back and they both laughed. Youre exactly right, boy. Now get this pretty girl home before it gets any later. I gave Ralph a quick wave and Kane and I headed down the sidewalk. We were making our way to Landons truck which was still waiting on the curb. I figured since I rode over here with them I would just catch a ride back since he was taking Jess back to the dorms anyway; but when we got to the truck, Kane handed his bag of leftovers through the window to Jessi. Can you drop this off at my apartment for me after you take Jessi to the dorms? he spoke to Landon. There is somewhere I want to take Kelsey before the weather

starts to get too cold. Sure thing. See ya later, bro. Thanks, man. I watched as Landons taillights disappeared into the distance. Um, Kane? I turned to face him. Yeah? I am in a dress you know. How in the world am I going to ride on the back of the bike? His smile beamed and he walked over to the garage door to his grandparents house. After putting in the code, the doors slowly crept open. Sitting inside was an older model blue pickup truck. It was my dads, he said. He was in the process of restoring it when he died. When I got old enough and pulled my head out of my ass, I finished it. Its what I

drive when its too cold for my bike. He walked to the passengers side and opened the door for me, then took my hand in his and helped me hop into the truck. Once I was in I watched him walk around the front and couldnt help but be amazed that I was here now. That I was with someone as attractive as Kane and that I was finally learning to live life again. So, where are you taking me now? I asked. Kane turned the key and the truck roared to life. You will see. He smiled and slowly pulled us out of the garage and onto the street. I knew better to even question him any further. He wasnt going to tell me anything so I might as well just enjoy the ride.

We had been traveling for what seemed like thirty minutes before he cut off the main road and onto a small dirt road. It looked like it had been cut right through the middle of the forest because thick trees and darkness lined each side. We slowly crept down the small path a short ways before he pulled the truck into a clearing. It was simply beautiful. The moon was full and reflecting off some form of water in the distance. We had the windows down in the truck and the warm nightly breeze filtered into the cab. It was quiet even though we were out in the middle of the woods. My guess was the loud noise from the trucks engine had scared off all the wildlife.

It was a clear night and you could see every star in the sky. There were obviously no lights around, but everything was lit up due to the full moon and all the stars. I never thought places like this even really existed in real life. You only read about places like this, or saw them in some movies. But then you knew it was all staged and they are probably really in some studio with a green screen behind them and all the stars and sounds were edited in later. But not here, this was the real deal. Kane stopped the truck, put it in park and shut the engine off. Another secret spot, huh? I asked and tuned on the bench seat to look at him. I found this one after my parents died. I like to come here when the memories

from the other spot are just too much. This spot is just mine. He paused. I had been out driving around for hours when I found it. I had been having a bad day, back then it didnt take much to set me off. I was so angry all the time that if I thought someone was looking at me wrong, my first instinct was to connect my fist with their face to stop the stare. I sat and silently listened to him. I had just been kicked out of school for another fight and had gotten into a huge argument with my maw about it and I just took off. I had been driving down that road when I caught out of the corner of my eye the path that led out here. And have been coming here since. Its actually a good place to fish and swim when Im not here thinking. Swim? You cant be serious. You just

said that you fish here. That means there are fish in that water. You actually get in there? He raised his eyebrow at me. Yeah I do. Have you ever been in the ocean Kelsey? Well, yeah, but You do know that there are more fish in the ocean, right? Big ass fish too, he said with a slight amount of humor in in tone. I paused for second. Well, thats just completely different! I didnt know exactly how it was, but the logic in my head right now was screaming it was so. He laughed and popped his door open. Come on. He held out his hand and I just sat there looking at it. Kelsey, Come. On. He repeated with a sly smile.

I violently shook my head back and forth. No way, Kane. I am not getting out of this truck. I crossed my arms over my chest and turned my nose up in the air. There was no way I was getting out and chancing him doing something crazy like throwing me in that water. He let out a rough sigh and before I knew it, he was making his way around to my side of the truck. He opened the door and lifted me out and began striding toward the water. Put me down! I swear Kane if you throw me in there I will come at you with fists and finger nails flying! Do not push me! He laughed, but set me on my feet. I swear I wasnt going to throw you in. I just wanted you to see it up close.

I stood there and shook my head no. I knew what up close to water was in boy talk. It usually ended up with the girl drenched like a soaking rat while they howled with laughter. Come on. Just put your feet in. I promise nothing is going to get you. Do it for me? he asked and stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. The craziest thought crossed my mind to just pull that lip between my teeth and I felt a warmth grow in my belly thinking about it. Kane that water is probably freezing, I stated. After thinking about it though, a douse in some cold water might actually be what I needed at the moment. No its been too warm these past few weeks. My guess would be that the water feels about like a lukewarm bath.

I glanced at the pond and I could see what looked like a very small amount of fog rolling off the surface. Maybe dipping our feet in wouldnt be so bad. I nodded. Okay, I will put my feet in. But Im warning you now, if I feel something so much as brush past my foot Im screaming like a little girl and locking myself in the truck. He smiled. Deal.

I slowly edged toward the water, still a little nervous that Kane would push me in. When I made it to the waters edge I could see by the moonlight that the water was very clean and clear. I could see the tiny pebbles that led down the shallow surface disappearing as the water got deeper. Looking around, I could see toward the back of the pond that there was a small stream that connected into it, then flowed right back out the other side. I think this used to just be a stream and that someone dug out the part over here

creating the pond. Kane said. I slipped off my shoes and Kane kicked off his boots and rolled the bottom of his jeans up. After he was done he held out his hand to me. Sometimes the rocks can be a little slippery. I dont want you to fall so hold on to me. I placed my hand in his. Yeah, but what happens if you go down and I dont? He thought for a second. I guess we will both be going for a swim then. I playfully slapped his chest and he laughed as we slowly edged into the water. Kane was right, the water was warmer than what I thought it would be. It actually felt pretty good on my bare feet and legs. See, not so bad is it? he asked. No, its not. You were right. This

temperature is perfect. Its too bad we didnt bring swim suits. I cant remember the last time I went night swimming, I said and slowly kicked around in the water. When Kane never said anything back to me, I glanced up at him and could see him pondering an idea. What is it? I couldnt take his silence anymore. Well, we could go swimming. If you really wanted too. I gave him a questioning look. How? We would have to ride home in soaking wet clothes. Not if we lost the clothes. My eyes went wide. Was he saying what I think he was saying? Are you talking about skinny dipping? He smiled. Well, not actual skinny

dipping. I was going to suggest keeping on our underwear but if you want to go naked Im game. He gave me a playful wink. You cannot be serious. You said it would be fun to go night swimming. I just thought if you really wanted to, we could. I swear I would be on my best behavior. I wont touch you if it will make you more comfortable. What he was suggesting really wasnt that crazy. I had on a bra and my panties were boy shorts so they would have me covered. There really wasnt much difference in a bathing suit and the undergarments I was currently wearing. So whats it going to be? You going to walk on the wild side with me? He waggled his eye brows. I had never been swimming in my bra

and panties before. Im sure there were a lot of people my age that had done it numerous times. Sometimes I felt like I missed out a little on the fun, reckless, teenage years by secluding myself the way I did. I didnt have any exciting stories or memories to look back on. Just the horrible ones I was trying to get away from. Maybe I needed this, to make some crazy new memories to cancel out some of the bad. Okay. Kane looked at me stunned. Okay? Yes. Lets do it. He stood there for a minute in silence just starting at me. All right. But a second ago I was sure you were completely against the idea. Can I ask what made you

change your mind? Wait, I know what it was. You just wanted to get me naked didnt you? I laughed. I dont remember a time I have ever laughed so much after my mom died until I met Kane. It was a nice change from crying. God, could you get any more full of yourself? I teased back. Its like you said. I need a good walk on the wild side every now and then. You know, to live a little. I am ready to make some new memories, and what better way to start then to strip down and get to it? Strip down, huh? I like the way you are thinking already. He flashed me a smile then gave his lip ring a flip. Oh boy, when he messed with that lip ring it was like instant turn on for me. Im glad he didnt listen to what his grandpa

Ralph had said and kept it. I was growing fonder about body piercing every day. We walked the few steps back out of the water and onto the bank. The tall grass rubbed my legs when we reached the bank. Ready? Kane asked as he crossed his arms at the bottom of his shirt, grabbed the hem, and lifted it effortless over his head. I watched all the muscles in his abdomen twitch and ripple as he tossed the discarded shirt to the side in the tall grass. I raked my eyes slowly up his toned chest and saw that in addition to his tattoo sleeves, he had one that twisted and scrolled across the top of his chest from shoulder to shoulder that read, Honor thy Father and thy Mother. His gray eyes reflected in the moonlight, looking as if

they were glowing, and I stood in awe of him. When I finally realized I was staring at him, I quickly glanced away. I guessed it was my turn to lose some clothing. I nervously unbuttoned the sweater I had been wearing and slid it off my arms, tossing it into the pile with his shirt. I then grasped one of the straps to my dress and slid it down my shoulder, doing the same with the other shortly after. When I looked back at Kane, he was just watching me. His eyes were on my straps, then he slowly brought them up to connect with mine. We stared at each other as I let my dress fall to the tall grass at my feet. I kind of expected Kanes eyes to immediately drop and begin checking out my body, but they never wavered from

the intimate hold they had on my eyes. I lifted one foot and stepped out of my dress and in the one small step I found myself almost chest to chest with Kane. I could see the quick rise and fall with each breath he took. I noticed then that my breathing was just as fast. We kept up the staring match until Kane had rid himself of his jeans. I kept my eyes locked with his like he had done for me. It was kind of surreal. Here I was standing in the middle of an open field in just my bra and panties, with a guy who was just in his underwear and we had made no attempt to sneak a peek at each other. Not that I didnt want to, but this moment was too intimate to go there. I felt Kanes hand connect with mine and he laced our fingers together. My eyes

fluttered shut and my body lit up like a flame from just that tiny bit of contact. If I didnt get in that water soon, I felt like I was going to combust and burn the whole world down with me. Kane pulled my hand and I opened my eyes as he walked backward to the edge of the pond. He slowly retreated into the water pulling me with him, never taking his eyes off mine. When we were waist deep into the water he took my other hand in his and interlaced our fingers before pulling our locked hands to his chest. I know I said I wouldnt touch you, Kelsey. That I would give you your space so you would be comfortable but right now all I can think about is your lips, and your body, and how incredibly beautiful you are. He let go of one my hands to

tuck a small piece of hair behind my ear, then he slowly ran his fingers down the side my neck. I couldnt stop the way my head fell back and the sigh that escaped my lips. As good as it felt for him to run his fingers down my neck, it did nothing to compare to the way it felt when he touched his lips there. He had taken me a little by surprise, I hadnt been expecting him to begin kissing my neck but I didnt want him to stop. I let my hands fall from his chest and into the water. He slid one had around my slick waist and cradled the back of my head with the other and tilted my body slightly back so he could have better access. Kane kissed and nibbled and sucked just about every surface of my neck before

running his nose up the side to my ear. Once at my ear he gave my lobe a soft kiss. If you want to stop, please, stop me now, he breathed into my ear. I didnt want him to stop, though. Why deny my body what it was screaming that it wanted? I ran my now-wet hands up his bare chest, slipping easily along his taut skin. I couldnt help myself when I reached his nipples, lightly running my finger over them, playing with them. I watched him shudder and felt him grip my waist tighter, and it made me give them a little pinch. Kane responded by pulling me deeper into the cool water to where my feet could no longer touch the ground, so I wrapped my legs around his waist. His arousal was evident as it was pressed against my

belly. I thought I would be scared since I had never been this far before, but I wasnt. Need and desire had possessed my body and all I could think about was more. I wanted so much more. I found Kanes lips and began kissing every inch of them before that too was not enough and I urged him to open his mouth to me. It was obvious Kane was letting me take the lead here. He didnt want to be in control right now for fear of pushing me into something I wasnt sure of. But what he didnt know was I had never been surer. How could this be wrong when it felt so right? After I explored Kanes mouth to my liking, I pulled back to look at him. How did I end up here? I would never understand it. Things with Kane may not

be for forever, but if I was going to have him now, I wanted to make the most of it. I slowly reached behind my back to unlatch my bra. Kanes eyes widened. Kelsey, I promise, I didnt bring you here for this. I just wanted you to be part of this place with me. Its special to me, youre special to me. It just made sense. We dont have to go any farther. I placed one of my fingers on his lips, then kissed him. With my lips still pressed against his I whispered, I want to, Kane. Please. I pulled back to look into his eyes. I could still see indecision swirling in them but I quickly unlatched my bra anyway. The straps fell down my shoulders getting caught in the crooks of my arms. He looked at the straps and then

looked up into my eyes. I nodded, assuring him that this was okay, that I did want this. He slowly pulled one hand from around my waist and placed it against my cheek. He didnt say anything to me before he leaned in and softly kissed my lips. When he pulled back he began to run the hand that had been pressed against my cheek down my jaw, then my neck and on down to my chest. My breathing was shaky. Not from fear, but from anticipation. He hooked his index finger around the small part of my bra that connect the two cups and slowly began pulling it away from my body. I took one last deep breath and held it in. I had never been topless in front of a guy before. I watched Kanes face closely. Not even really sure what I was looking for.

Disappointment maybe? Disappointment that I would be lacking where Im sure a few of the other girls he had been with had been in abundance. I didnt want to feel that way, but I was a girl after all. But when I truly looked into Kanes eyes, all I saw was desire. The same desire I myself was feeling. He ran his hand down between my breasts and I all but orgasmed right there. I had never had this part of my body touched by someone else before. Not even through clothes, so the closeness of his wet skin touching my skin was the most intimate thing I had ever experienced. Kane kept his eyes on mine as he lowered his head to my chest. When his mouth connected with my nipple my body bucked and then

shuddered, and the water rippled around us. I had never experienced anything quite like this before. I could feel the tingling in my belly growing. Is this possible? Can this alone send me over the edge? My question was answered about two seconds later when Kane raked his teeth across my nipple and my body exploded into a million different pieces. My head fell back as I called out his name to the night sky. Kane kissed me deeply as I came down from my high. Little did he know but the slow strokes of his tongue against mine was only working me up again. I wasnt sure I had any control over my own body anymore. It wanted Kane. It wanted what my head wasnt sure it was ready for, but what my heart was screaming it needed.

I reluctantly broke away from Kanes lips. He first looked at me as though he wasnt sure if he had done something wrong. I mustered all the courage I could and whispered. I want it to be you, Kane. He slowly closed his eyes before responding, Kelsey, baby, please dont say things like that. Im not worthy of that. Believe me. He reopened his eyes and I could see the turmoil swirling within them. How could he not see how perfect he was? How could he not realize that, to me, his past and his reputation didnt matter? All those people could think what they wanted about Kane. I knew the truth. I knew he wasnt that person anymore. That alone was all I needed to know that I was

meant to be here, in this water with him right now. Our lives had been so riddled with sadness and ugliness that we were destined to find each other. I felt it in every fiber of my being that this was right. Please, Kane, I need it to be you. Before I met you I was a shell of who I used to be. I wanted desperately to find her again, and you have helped me do that. I know that its not a mistake that we are here, in this moment right now, together. I placed his hand over my heart so he could feel how strongly it was beating. You feel that? You make it do that. When my mom died I never thought I would be able to breathe again, let alone have my heart beat again, but then I met you and you stole that last amount of breath I had and breathed a new life into me. You are a

part of me now. This is right, please dont question that. Kane let out a low growl and attacked my mouth again. I felt his hands slide under my knees and began to pull my legs away from his waist. I was about to protest but he didnt drop my legs and put me down like I thought he was going to. He swung my legs together and cradled me in his arms, carrying me like a husband carries his wife over a threshold after they have been married, out of the water. When he made it to the shore I thought he was going to set me on my feet again but he kneeled with me in the tall grass and he used his hand that was wrapped around my back to spread his shirt out before gently laying me back on it. His scent that clung to his shirt engulfed me

and I knew I would remember this smell for the rest of my life, and it would always bring me right back here, in this moment with him. He lightly kissed my lips just once, then held himself above me with one hand using his other to caress my cheek. I need to know you are one hundred percent sure about this. I will never be able to forgive myself if you are not sure. I cupped both his cheeks in my hands. I am. He nodded and leaned in to kiss me, but pulled away at the last second. Kelsey, I dont have anything. I wasnt expecting this. I couldnt believe I had forgotten to even think about protection. In the moment of passion, all I could think about was

him. I thought for a minute. I had been on the pill since I was sixteen to regulate my periods. So I knew we would be safe from pregnancies, but I knew that Kane had slept around. His reputation had said so, and he had told me himself. I am on the pill so there are no worries there, but I have to ask, have you been checked before? You know, since you have, um, done this before? I felt like a bitch for blurting it out there like that, but I had to be sure. He nodded. I have never, ever, touched a girl without one before, but a few weeks after I had stopped sleeping around I had myself checked just to be sure and it came back clean. Youre the first person I have been with in a while. It made me happy to know that after he

decided he wasnt going to be sleeping around anymore that he was willing to do this with me. I was so worried about what my body and I wanted that I never really thought about the fact that I could have been pushing Kane into something he wasnt ready for. Kane, I know I am sure about this, but are you? If you dont want to, thats completely fine. He barked out a laugh. Kelsey,he looked down to where his underwear was fully tentedis that sure enough for you? He gave me his full-dimple smile and I bit my lip and nodded. The smile slipped from his face as his eyes zeroed in on my mouth. You really shouldnt bite your lip like that. he said huskily. I cant think straight when you do, and right now I need

to calm down and take my time with you. I dont want to hurt you, Kelsey, in any way, physically or mentally, but this will hurt. He looked at me, a hint of sadness in his expression. I knew this was going to hurt. I had heard stories and read books about girls losing it for the first time, but I was going to be going through this with Kane. I could deal with the pain as long as I had him. My heart fluttered at those last words and I knew it was because those words held more meaning than just about tonight. I pulled my knees up around Kanes hips where I could grab the hem of his boxers between my toes and gave them a little tug. Obviously they didnt come down, but Kane took the hint and reached down between us, pushing them down

himself before settling himself between my legs. I lifted my hips, letting him know I wanted him to do the same to me. He sat back on his knees and ran his index finger along the inside band of my panties. My back arched and eyes fluttered. My body was humming all over with anticipation of what was to come. Kane used that index finger he was teasing me with to slowly pull my panties down my legs. As soon as they were free from my feet Kane covered my body with his again, shielding me from the night breeze. He slowly wrapped his hand around my knee and pulled it up over his hip. He then, ever so lightly, ran his fingers up the outside of my thigh, continuing up to my side. His hand brushed against the side of my breast as he

made his way down the inside of my arm until he got to my hand. He interlocked out fingers and brought that hand above my head. We stared into each others eyes, neither of us saying a word. I felt him position himself at my opening and I fought the urge to close my eyes. I didnt want to be in the dark for this. I didnt want to miss it so I kept them open. Kane slowly and carefully began to push himself inside me. Right away I could feel the discomfort and sting from my body experiencing something it never had before. Gradually he inched himself deeper and deeper until I couldnt help but wince from the pain, causing him to immediately stop his movement. Are you okay? Do you want to stop?

Concern laced his every word. I wildly shook my head back and forth. No. I just need a second to get used to it, is all. I tried my best to give him a reassuring smile. After a few seconds the overwhelming feeling passed and I nodded for him to continue. He seemed a bit apprehensive at first but I lifted my hips causing him to sink just a tiny bit deeper to let him know I was sure. He closed his eyes and lowered his head and began his slow push again. I held my breath. I wasnt really in any pain; it was just all so overwhelming. I could feel my body stretching to accommodate him, and even with all the discomfort, I felt at peace. Kane was propped on his elbows and I could see the trembling of his arms out of

the corner of my eye. Was this uncomfortable for him? I didnt know what else to do so I turned my head to the side and kissed his bicep. I didnt want this to be uncomfortable for him. I wanted him to feel the peace I was feeling. I gave his arm another slow kiss and when I turned my head back he was staring at me. His breathing was shaky and uneven, but he didnt say anything as he drew in a breath and gave one last, long, final push. My hands shot to his back and I gripped his skin with my fingertips. He lowered his head to my shoulder then let out his breath. Everything around us was still. I couldnt hear any sounds other than my wildly beating heart and our unsteady breathing. It seemed like hours passed with us just lying there, not moving but I

knew that couldnt be the case. My body had finally adjusted to him and I was dying for him to move. Even though my body had never experienced this before, it was like an old memory and it knew exactly what it wanted and how to get it. I lifted my hips again but Kane placed a hand on them to still them. Now Im the one who needs a minute to adjust, he huskily laughed. You feel so incredible, Kelsey, and its taking all my will power to not do what my body wants to do. And what my body wants is to pull back out and slam right back in. I gaped at the open sky. As horrible as it sounded to be slammed into, it also lit me on fire at the thought. What was with me? My mind and body were having an internal tug of war and I didnt know who

to listen to anymore. I kissed Kanes cheek to let him know I was comfortable, that I was ready whenever he was. He slightly pressed his cheek harder into my kiss then began slowly pulling back out. I felt discomfort again but this time it was different. This time is was discomfort about his body leaving mine. Now that I had had him there it felt different to be without him. It felt lonely. Those feelings didnt last long though because as soon as he withdrew to the point that I couldnt take it anymore, he pushed right back in. It was faster and harder than the first time but it was nowhere near slamming like he talked about. It was just right, just enough to make my toes curl and a sound to tear

from my throat that I had never heard before. He did it again, the slow pull out and the fast thrust in. My breathing was becoming uneven and I was sure at any moment I would hyperventilate from my erratic breathing pattern. But I couldnt stop, and I didnt want him to stop. My hands were still on his back and I could feel his skin becoming sticky and then slick. He was sweating and he was trembling. I knew he was holding back from what he really wanted to do for my sake, but I wanted more. I was right at that point where I knew what was coming, but it just wasnt enough to make me fall over the edge yet. So out of instinct I took Kanes earlobe into my mouth, lightly caressing it with my tongue before giving

it one hard suck and then a bite and that was all it took. Kane grunted as his thrusts became erratic, faster, and harder it was just what I needed. I pulled my knees high up around his hips as my orgasm rocketed through my body. I could feel my insides bearing down on him. Gripping him and squeezing him because it knew that it didnt want to let him go either, like it was trying to hold on to Kane and keep here there forever. His name tore from my throat, out into the open air and echoed throughout the field. With one final thrust Kane threw his head back and roared, releasing himself inside me before his body collapsed on top of mine. I had already come down from my high

and I took the time to rub slow circles on his back while he composed himself. When his breathing had finally become normal, he looked at me. I couldnt contain the huge grin that was on my face, and after seeing my smile the same huge dimple-sinking grin that I loved so much appeared on his face. I started giggling for no reason. I guess I was just so happy at that moment I didnt know what else to do. Kane that was that was Unbelievable, he finished for me. Yes. Unbelievable. I smiled and he kissed each of my cheeks, my forehead and then my lips. His cool lip ring touching the heated skin of my face each time he did. When he stopped kissing me I just

looked at him and I was struck with a certaintyone I wasnt ready to say to him, but I knew in my heartthat I was falling in love with Kane Riley. But as happy as I was about that it also scared the life out of me.

Kane helped me slip my dress back on. I had to go braless and panty-less since they were still soaking wet from our swim. I was thankful we had taken a truck out here tonight. I couldnt imagine how horrible the ride home on the back of a motorcycle would be. But after what had just happened I wonder if I would have really minded. I was still flying high when Kane pulled the truck back onto the main road. Neither of us had spoken much but neither of us could hide the smiles on our faces either.

We were both casting secret glances at each other across the cab of the truck until Kanes hand latched onto my thigh, pulling me across the seat to sit next to him. Thats better. He winked at me and interlaced our fingers before bringing them up to his lips. So much had changed in such a short time. A few months ago I couldnt wait to get out of my home town, get away from the place that held the darkest memories that I thought would swallow me up and drag me down, holding me in their darkness forever. Finally away from that place, I was learning to breathe again. Learning to be myself again. This would make my mom happy. She wouldnt have wanted me to live out the rest of my life the way I had been living

well, living probably wasnt the right wordthe way I had been existing these past six years. I glanced at Kane through my lashes, my mom would have loved him. She would have loved the tattoos and probably even the piercing because it showed he didnt care what others thought of him. That he did things because he wanted to. That he wasnt afraid of what people thought. She wanted to be that way she just found herself in a situation that she couldnt get out of without there being repercussions that she would never be able to live with. Sharing custody of me with my dad, her not being able to protect me if he were to ever try to abuse me the way he had her, was not an option to her. So my mom staying in an abusive relationship

protected me, in a weird way. Kane cleared his throat, jarring me from my thoughts. I know I said I would take you back to the dorms, but Im not ready to say goodbye to you yet. Its fine if you dont want to, but would you like to spend the night at my place? I will take you back to the dorms first thing in the morning if thats what you want but I just want to hold you tonight. I want you in my bed, with me. He glanced at me to see if I was considering this, but, really, what was there to consider? I was already dreading the goodbye when he dropped me off. The thought of spending the night in his arms sounded like the perfect way to end this perfect day. Yes. I enthusiastically nodded my head. I would love to spend the night

with you. I smiled when I heard the engine rev a little louder, obviously he was speeding up a little to hurry and get us home.

We pulled into the parking lot of Shots and Kane cut the engine. He opened his door and held out his hand for me. I slid across the seat, careful so that my dress didnt ride up too high. I was, after all, going commando at the moment. We held hands as we made our way to the stairs that lead to his apartment. When we made it to the door Kane bent down and picked something up. I then realized it was the leftovers Emma had sent home with him that he had asked

Landon to drop off, which reminded me I needed to call Jessi and let her know I wouldnt be back to the dorm tonight. Kane let go of my hand to pull a small, silver key from his pocket and slid it in the lock. After a little twist he pushed open the door and motioned for me to step in ahead of him. Everything was black; there was no light at all, not even one of those little plug-in night lights. I heard the door close behind me then a click. The room lit up and I turned to see Kane with his finger still on the light switch. Well, this is my place. He nodded toward the open room. I turned and took it all in. It wasnt bad. It had an open floor plan. There was a long bar that separated the kitchen from

the living room and I could tell the kitchen had been recently updated. It had dark granite countertops and sleek stainless steel appliances. The walls were painted a cool electric blue and was accented with black throw rugs and vases. I bet Emma helped him decorate. It was too put together for a bachelor pad. The living room had a large flat screen TV hanging from the center of the wall and a dark leather U-shaped couch sat across from it. Again there were accents of burnt orange throw pillows and a bowl of orange and brown globes that sat in the middle of the coffee table in front of the couch. Now I was certain Emma had her way with decorating. What guy would think to buy that? I stood there, not really sure what to do

next. I had never spent the night with a guy before so I didnt know protocol on these sort of things. Did I just go sit on the couch and get comfortable? Did I wait for him to offer me a seat? Since I didnt know, I just stood there like a huge idiot. Kane walked around me and into the kitchen. He began pulling the left overs out of the bag and placing them in the fridge. If youre hungry I can heat some of this up for you. He peeked around the fridge door at me. I shook my head no and continued to stand there taking in the rest of the apartment. Directly in front of me I could see a very small hall and what looked like three closed doors. I guess thats where the bedroom and bathroom were. Speaking of bathrooms, I really needed to pee.

Clearing my throat I asked, Can I use your bathroom? Well, that came out a little dumber than I thought. Of course I could use his bathroom. If was going to be staying here all night, Im pretty sure I would have to use it sometime throughout the next few hours. Kane didnt seem to notice the stupidity in my question. He only came around the bar and took my hand. Its right over here. Hey, do you want to take a shower? Wash some of that pond water off? You can wear my clothes and I will throw yours in the wash. A shower actually sounded like heaven right now so I nodded. Kane showed me where the bathroom was and I took one look in the mirror and just about face palmed. My hair was a

mess! It was actually sticking up on the left side like I had stuck my finger in a light socket. How could I not notice that my hair looked this bad? How could Kane not laugh every time he looked at me? I was trying to get my fingers through my unruly hair when Kane came back into the bathroom with some folded clothes in his hands. These will probably swallow you, but at least they are clean. I will have your clothes washed in no time though. I smiled and took the soft cotton shirt and boxers from his hands. Thank you. Kane smiled and lightly flicked his lip ring with his tongue. The sight of that one simple move had my belly fluttering and I quickly turned to set the clothes down on the sink.

Well, I will let you get to it then. Ill be right in the living room if you need anything. All the soaps and shampoos are in there. I turned back around to look at him and could see a sly smile on his face. Did he know what the lip ring did to me? Was he doing it on purpose? I had no time to ask not that I was sure I wouldbefore he stepped back out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. I sat down on the closed toilet lid and tried to compose myself. It was a good thing he left when he did because had he still been playing with that lip ring when I turned back around, I probably would have drug him in the shower with me. I couldnt believe I was spending the night and that I would also be spending the

night in his arms. Speaking of spending the night, I really needed to call Jessi. I got up and walked over the countertop where I had laid my cell. It had been on silent and the screen was already lit up with two texts. The first from Jessi. Trying to wait up for you! Where the hell are you?! I want to know what happened. Text me back bitch! The next one was a bit of a surprise. It was from Nate. Still on for meeting to work on the project in the morning? Let me know, Ill bring coffee. Shit. I had forgotten all about meting up with Nate tomorrow. That meant Kane would have to take me back to school a little earlier then I thought. I tapped out a quick response to Nate letting him know

we were still on and that he could bring me whatever he was having. I got an almost immediate response back from him saying he would be at the library at nine. I decided to call Jessi instead of texting her. There was so much I wanted to tell her and I didnt think my fingers would keep up. After one ring, she picked up. Spill it, hooker! Where the hell are you?! You are never out later than me. I took a deep breath. Im at Kanes. I wont be coming back tonight so you dont have to wait up. The high-pitched squeal she let out had me holding the phone away from my ear. It was so loud I wasnt sure that Kane didnt hear it all the way in the living room. I knew it! Youre going to have sex arent you?!

I bit my lip and ran my finger back and forth across the counter top. About that, I paused then looked up at myself in the mirror. I didnt look any different did I? I sure felt different, but I still looked like me but I wasnt a virgin anymore. I felt like there should be some neon sign above my head flashing she swiped her v-card, folks! But there was no sign, just me. Just Kelsey, but I knew I was different. That fact was evident from the dull ache I still had between my legs. The ache that was the reminder that Kane had been there. We kind of already did There was silence on her end before another squeal. Oh my God! Kelsey! How could you not tell me right after it happened? Where did it happen? When?! How was it?! I bet it was good. Kane

looks like he would be good. Tell me, does he have piercings anywhere else? My cheeks felt like they had been lit on fire, Jessi! No he doesnt have any more piercings! I cant believe you would ask me that! I dont think it was the question that had really embarrassed me, it was the fact that I was kind of turned on thinking about Kane having more piercings and wondering if he would ever consider it. Stop! I needed to stop thinking right now. Look, I cant go into details with you right now. I am getting ready to hop in the shower. I heard her inhale and I knew the question that was getting ready to pop out of her mouth. Alone, Jessi. Before you even ask. I am taking a shower alone. Well thats just boring, she said. You know you could conserve water and

shower together? she giggled. She knew she was killing me. I rolled my eyes even though she couldnt see. I just wanted to let you know not to wait up for me. I am supposed to meet Nate at nine to go over the group project. You sure you cant make it? Nope, sure cant. You crazy kids have fun with that. Ill just play catch up. Like always? Dont you start with me, Kelsey Rien. Just because you are a woman now doesnt mean you are the boss of me, she giggled again and I huffed. I knew later she was going to want every single detail about what had happened tonight, and because she was my best friend, I would tell her. Okay, maybe I wouldnt tell her everything. It was special. I wanted to

keep it something that was just between Kane and me, but I would give her enough to pacify her. Just know that it was special and that he made me feel comfortable. He was tender and great and it was everything I could have hoped for. I smiled at the memory of tonight. Jessi let out a deep sigh, Im so happy for you, Kelsey. I bet it was romantic and Im glad it was special for you. You deserve good memories like that. This is why she was my best friend. Even though we had never spoken about making new memories to cancel out the old ones, she understood exactly what I was doing. I love you, Jess. I will see you tomorrow. Love you too, Kels. And just think, if it

was good the first time when its supposed to be awkward and uncomfortable, just imagine how its going to be the next time, she laughed. Bye, Jessi. I shook my head at my friend. Later, babe. She replied and I hit end. Could she be right? Could it get better than what it had been? This time was pretty great, when it had not been painful. Maybe she was right, maybe the next time would be even better. I felt a heat rise up from my chest and I knew I needed to get in the showera cold one at thatand stop thinking about a next time. Who even knew if there would be a next time?

When I finally emerged from the bathroom, Kane was sitting on his couch watching his huge TV. I quietly walked to the end of the couch and stood. He must have heard me anyway because he picked up the remote, pointed it at the TV and turned it off. He leaned forward placing the remote on the table, then stood and made his way to me. I swear it had probably been twenty minutes since I had seen him last, but it felt like it had been an eternity because all I wanted to do was throw myself at him and kiss him hard. Hi, he said as he stood in front of me. I looked up at him through my lashes and bit the corner of my lip out of nervous habit. He smiled and used his thumb to pull my lip free from my teeth. You really have to stop doing that. He smiled,

then leaned in to kiss me. The kiss started out soft and sweet, but quickly grew as I wrapped both arms around his neck and ran my hands over his short hair. I broke from the kiss, needing some air, or so I thought. But the lightheadedness I was feeling had nothing to do with lack of oxygen, it was all simply due to Kane and what he did to me. With his mouth now free from mine, he began kissing along my jawbone up to my ear. You should really just wear my clothes all the time. He seductively breathed in my ear and my body automatically responded. I tightened my arms around his neck and he let out a throaty laugh. You call Jessi and tell her you werent coming back tonight? he asked.

I nodded because honestly I didnt think I could form any words at the moment, but bringing up my phone call with Jessi also reminded me that I needed to tell him I had to be at the library at nine. But when he began kissing my neck, I lost that thought and could only focus on his lips and what they were doing to me. Kane slid his hands around my waist, pausing to grip my backside before sliding down to hook his hands under my knees. He lifted me off the ground and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I didnt realize we were moving until I heard the click of a door being opened. At first I thought someone had come in his front door, but when I opened my eyes I found myself in a different room. I quickly took in my surroundings. I couldnt see much because

the light was off, but Kane had left the door open so the light from the hall filtered in enough for me to get a feel for the space. All the furniture looked dark. Either it was dark wood or it was black, I couldnt tell for sure with the little light I had. Beside the bed was a small night stand and there were two picture frames sitting atop it. There was a large bed in the middle of the wall and a chest at the foot of the bed. Just your standard room. I guess he didnt let Emma get ahold of this space. Kane walked over to the bed and gently laid me down and all thoughts of the room went out the window. He laid me on his pillows and his scent engulfed me. I could get used to this. Being able to fall asleep

smelling Kane. He laid down beside me and his mouth found mine again. He was playfully kissing me, giving my lips tiny little teasing licks or bites, never fully kissing me the way I wanted. Finally fed up with his teasing, I grabbed the back of his neck and held him still while I took control. I could feel him laughing around my kiss but he finally gave in and kissed me how I wanted to be kissed. We laid there kissing for what seemed like hours. Im surprised the kissing didnt lead to more considering what we had just done a few hours ago, but to be honest, I didnt know if I would be able to handle more so soon. I was still a little sore. Kane pulled away from me and stopped me when I leaned back in for more.

As much as I hate to stop doing what we are doing, I still have to take a shower. He smiled. I couldnt help the pout face I gave him. Kissing Kane was just too enjoyable for me to be okay with stopping. He tucked a strand of my now-damp hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. I will back in a few minutes. I gave him a look letting him know I would rather him just stay in bed with me, but he started to get up anyway. I will hurry. I promise. He smiled as he excited the room. I sighed and rolled to my side, facing the only window in the room. They must have been slightly cracked because a soft white glow was just barely showing through. I touched my lips and smiled.

Yep, they would definitely be swollen the rest of the night and maybe even tomorrow. Just another reminder I would have of Kane. I let out a long yawn. I guess now that all the excitement had died down and all the endorphins I had being running high on had ceased, my body was finally starting to feel how tired I was. I could still hear the shower running but I thought I would just close my eyes for a little while. Just rest them for a minute. I would hear when he came back in the room and it would wake me up anyway. Only that didnt happen. Once I closed my eyes exhaustion took over and it felt like I had fifty pound weights holding them closed. I barely recall being lifted and then slid under the covers. I also faintly

remembered Kane sliding in behind me and wrapping me up in his arms, but the last part I couldnt be certain if it had really happened or if it was a dream. But if it was a dream, it was one I hoped I remembered tomorrow because I didnt want to forget the feel of Kanes lips on the back of my head as he kissed me, and the way his breath felt on my ear as he whispered goodnight. But out of all of that I didnt want to forget what he said after that. I never thought I would have someone like you in my life, Kelsey. Maybe there was a reason for me waking up and becoming a better person. Maybe it was because all along I was meant to find you and the person I was before wasnt worthy of having you. But I swear, now that I have you, Im

never going to let you go. His words echoed through my head before the blackness of sleep engulfed me and I drifted off.

I went to stretch my body and was immediately aware that I was not alone in my bed. Better yet, I was not alone in someone elses bed. The memories of yesterday and last night came rushing back to me and I smiled. I turned onto my back, I could feel Kanes heavy arm draped across my torso. I slowly ran my fingers along some of the tattoos on his forearm. Beautiful. Each and every one of them just beautiful. When I had traced and fully memorized most of Kanes tattoos, I took a good look

at his face. He was soundly sleeping and had a peaceful look on his face. His long lashes rested on his cheeks. The sun was shining through the tiny cracks in the window blinds and reflecting off his lip ring. You know, I could say that its really creepy for you to be watching me sleep. His eyes slowly opened to look at me. I was a little embarrassed I was caught. But youre so damn cute I dont think you could make anything really creepy. He smiled and I could see the dimple in his right cheek sink in. How long have you been lying there awake? I asked. Since you started tracing patterns on my forearm, which I might add is an excellent way to be woken up. Way better

than my annoying-ass alarm clock. I may just have to keep you around, he said as he leaned in to nuzzle my neck. Im sorry I crashed on you last night. I guess I was more tired than I thought. I sighed as he ran his nose up the side of my neck. If he thought me tracing his tattoos was a great way to wake up, he had no idea how much better this was. When he finally reached my ear he lightly kissed my lobe. Why dont we stay here, just like this, all day? Mmm, that sounds like an amazing plan. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he kissed along my jaw til his lips finally connected with mine. It was only a brief kiss before I realized I had not brushed my teeth yet this morning and jerked away, immediately covering my

mouth with my hand. Kane chuckled. What are you doing? he asked as he held himself above me on his elbows. I havent brushed my teeth yet. I have morning breath, I said with my hand still shielding him from any type of odor that may or may not come from my mouth. You tasted fine to me, he said, leaning back in and I automatically sank my head further into the pillow to get away from his attempt to kiss me. Kane, really. Do you have an extra toothbrush I can borrow? I asked as I slinked my way out from under him to the edge of the mattress. He huffed and rolled to his side to give me the room I needed to stand. In the bathroom. Top drawer. There should be a

couple in there. Maw stocked it in case I ever had guests, but I have never had anyone stay the whole night so they never got used. No one has stayed the whole night before? But I thought I stopped. I shouldnt have opened my mouth. I could see the expression on Kanes face darken before he scooted to sit on the edge of the bed. He took my hands and pulled me between his knees. Yes, as you know I have had girls over before, and as you also know I am not proud of my past. What I did with those girls was satisfy my needs and then send them on their way. Letting them stay the night would have complicated things and I didnt want complicated. I wanted what I wanted and

nothing more. You are the only person I have ever let spend the night. The only person I have held in my arms all night. You, Kelsey only you. While the thought of him being with another girl tore me apart, and knowing that he was so cruel as to kick them out after getting what he wanted, horrified me. The fact that I could be his first in anything sent a tiny thrill through me. He would be my first of many things. I wanted him to at least have that with me too. I leaned down and kissed his cheek still aware of my morning breath, I wasnt going for his lips right now. I know youre not like that anymore, Kane. While I dont approve of the person you used to be, I cant change the past. Lord knows I would if I could. The only

thing to do is move forward, and if you want, I would love for you to do so with me. He gave me a slight smile. I really dont deserve you, Kelsey Rien. Yes, you do. I smiled as I turned to leave the room to finally take care of this morning breath problem. When I came back from the bathroom I was more than ready to pick right back up where we left off, but Kane was still sitting in the same position I had left him in. His head was slightly bent and he was looking at something in his hand. When I rounded the corner, I could see that it was my cell phone he was holding. He looked at me with a blank expression, at first I felt my heart drop to my stomach. Did Jessi texted me? Is

something wrong with her? Whats wrong? I blurted out. Your phone lit up with a text. Nate wants to know if you are still on for this morning. His tone was so flat. I couldnt understand what had made his mood change so quickly. I cant believe I forgot about that! What time is it? I bet I am late, I rambled. I hoped it wasnt really late and that he hadnt been waiting on me for long. I cant believe I had totally forgotten like that. Okay maybe I could believe it. When I was around Kane he did have a tendency to consume my every thought. Kane sat there still as a statue as I ran around the room looking for my clothes. Then I remembered he washed them for me. Do you think my clothes are dry?

His eyes finally met mine and I could see a storm swirling in that beautiful gray. It made me stop dead in my tracks. Whats wrong? I asked. Is there anything you want to tell me? I thought for a second. No? I was supposed to meet Nate to go over this project we are working on in class at nine this morning, and I completely blanked. I could see his shoulders slump, then he stood from the bed and made his way toward me. He held out my phone and I took it. He was acting so strange. Im an ass. I gave him a puzzled look, Okay? First of all, I shouldnt have looked at your phone. Second, I should not have jumped to the conclusion I did when I read that text.

Which was? That you were leaving here to go spend time with Nate. He hung his head for a second then brought his beautiful gray eyes back up to mine. I smiled at him and rested my hand against his cheek. Kane, believe me when I say this. From the second I met you, you were the only guy I have ever thought about as more than a friend. And after last night I hope that you might feel that way too? I didnt want to jump the gun and say I was his girlfriend. I wanted to be though. I wanted that so badly but I wouldnt push him into it. He lightly grabbed my cheeks and kissed me. He pulled away but still cradled my face in his hands. Kelsey, after last night I would consider you

nothing else but mine. I looked at him. Do you mean... I mean you are mine now. You are my girlfriend, Kelsey. I dont want anyone but you and I hope you dont want anyone other than me. Girlfriend. He had finally said it. I was Kane Rileys girlfriend. I smiled so big I thought my jaw was going to lock in place and wrapped my arms around Kanes neck. He lifted me off the ground where my legs were just dangling in the air and kissed me so hard the rest of the world faded away. After some coaxing, I finally talked Kane into taking me to the library. He was more than willing to call off work and just keep me locked away in his apartment all day, but I needed to be finishing up this

project and he couldnt just be flaking on work like that because of me. I texted Nate the minute I got in the truck to let him know I was coming and apologized to him for being as late as I was. In the beginning I thought working with a boy would be hard, that he would be the flake, but nope that would be me. I was so embarrassed. Kane pulled his truck up in front of the library and I could see Nate leaning against one of the low walls outside. He glanced up when he noticed the truck and I gave him a quick wave through the windshield that he returned with a stiff nod. WellI turned to KaneI guess I will talk to you later? I wasnt sure what time he would be off work tonight and I

needed to study for a test I would have the next day. So my plans after working with Nate included me in my dorm, in sweats with a text book in my lap, and I wasnt going to look up until I memorized and knew that book by heart. I will text you when I get off tonight. It will probably be pretty late though. Im going to help them get things stocked back up and cleaned after the rush they had last night. I smiled and kissed his lips. I will wait up for you. I want to be able to tell you good night. I started to slide across the seat to get out, but Kane grabbed my hand and pulled me back for a long deep kiss. He took his time thoroughly kissing the outside of my mouth before sliding his tongue across my

lips in a teasing manor, as if to see what I would do. Like always when with Kane, my body took over and I had no control anymore. I took over the kiss, teasing him the way he had been teasing me, only I couldnt help but press my body as close to him as I could get without actually climbing on his lap right there in the cab of the truck in front of the library. Library! Oh shit! We are in public! I quickly pulled away from Kane before things got any more out of hand. The low growl that came from his chest when I put a little distance between us did nothing to help with my internal battle of staying in the truck and begging him to just take me back to his apartment and never let me leave. The look in his eyes at that moment

told me he would be more than willing to take me up on that plan. All I had to do was say the words, but I had things to do and he needed to get to work. So I used what willpower I had left to scurry all the way to the other side of the cab and press myself against the door. I really need to go, I said, but even I could hear the question in my tone. He caught it too because he raked his teeth along his bottom lip, and I think I might have let out a moan when he did so. I can promise you, Kelsey, that if you left with me right now, you wouldnt regret it. His eyes were roaming my body and I knew he was imaging just what he could do to make me change my mind. I quickly felt behind me for the door handle and popped it open just as he was

leaning in for another kiss that I was sure would seal the deal in me ditching Nate and leaving with Kane. I slammed the door shut and giggled at him through the open window. Not fair, he growled. Whats not fair is you trying to lead me astray with temptation. I winked at him. Now get out of here and go to work. I have to get some serious work done on this project if we are going to finish on time. Maybe if I work really hard we might finish early and then I will have all kinds of free time for other things. I lowered my voice for the last part. Hopefully it came out as seductively as I meant for it too. The fact the he stared at me for a second, gave that lip ring a flip, then

threw himself back against the seat was my confirmation that it did and I laughed. Look I really, really need to go now. Be safe on your drive back, and remember, I will be waiting up on that text from you. He nodded and then smiled. Go learn things. I will text you later, beautiful. My heart did a little flutter when he said beautiful but I managed to drag my eyes away from his and turn to head up the steps to where Nate was still waiting. I could hear the truck pull away, but I didnt turn to watch. I was already feeling sad enough about not being near him. Seeing him pull away would not help with that. I finally topped the stairs and stood in front of Nate. Morning! Again, Im so sorry you had to wait on me like this. I am

usually so good about being on time and stuff. There was just a lot going on yesterday and it just slipped my mind. I promise it will never happen again. I really hoped I could keep that promise. I would just have to make sure if we had a group session I needed to stay far away from Kane and his distractions. Nate took a second before he looked up at me. He was plucking a piece of what I thought was invisible lint on his dark designer jeans. So, what? Are you and Kane officially a thing now? I couldnt miss the annoyance in his tone, but I wasnt sure where it was coming from. Mhmm. Just since this morning actually. I smiled. Even his weird mood couldnt bring me down about the fact that Kane and I were a couple now.

He huffed and pushed himself off the wall he had been leaning on. There were two cups sitting beside him. He reached for one and handed it to me. Heres your coffee. I cant guarantee its still warm though. I may be high on my newfound relationship status, but I could still feel the guilt over being so late today. I reached out to catch his arm before he headed toward the door to the library. I am truly sorry I am late, Nate. I understand completely why you are pissed. He slowly turned and gave me a look I couldnt even read. Kelsey, Im not pissed about you being late. Shit happens. I understand that. He stopped and took a deep breath. Look, I know youre a big

girl and youre going to do what you want to, but I cant stand back and not at least warn you not to get in too deep with Kane. I know he can be a smooth talker, believe me, I have seen him in action numerous times when he lived with the frat. I dont know what it is about you, Kelsey, but I dont want to see you hurt in the end. It has never bothered me to watch Kane use girls before you. But with you I cant keep quiet. I just had to let you know. It was obvious that no one knew Kane the way I did. He wasnt that person anymore, but once you set a reputation like that for yourself, its hard to get away from it. I had nothing to do with the one I had back home but it still followed me wherever I went, so I knew some of what Kane went through.

I will be fine, Nate. Honestly, the Kane I know and the one you know are two completely different people. That may be true, but who is the real one? he sighed and gently tugged his arm free from my hold, continuing on into the library. I stood there for a few seconds pondering what he had just said. My Kane was the real one. I was just sure of it. Sure I didnt have a lot of experience in the dating scene, but I hoped I would at least know when I was getting played. Plus, everything in me screamed it was right when I was with Kane. Wouldnt there be some tiny hint of doubt otherwise? I shook those thoughts from my head. I was in a good place now. I was making new friends, I had a hot-ass boyfriend

who had an amazing family, and school was going really well for me. Dammit things were good now. I was finally living and breathing again. Not walking around like a zombie just trying to make it day by day. This is how it was supposed to be but didnt Sir Isaac Newton himself say, What goes up must come down? Hopefully that was just a reference to gravity and not my life in general.

Nate and I had worked most of the morning on our project, only stopping for a thirty-minute lunch break, then getting right back to it. He never brought up Kane again and I was glad. His whole mood had changed from what it was this morning, and by the time we said goodbye he was back to the fun carefree Nate I had come to know. I left the library early that afternoon and headed back to the dorms. I still had that other test to study for. As I was waiting for the elevator, I

could hear a few girls laughing in the lounge area around the corner from the elevator bays. Hes so hot, right? Those tats and that lip piercing? Gah, I just want to jump him every time I see him at Shots Their discussion caught my attention and I couldnt help but edge closer to the corner so I could hear their conversation better. Shots? Tats? Lip piercing? I knew there was a chance they could be talking about someone else but those chances were slim. They were talking about my Kane. Didnt he blow you off though, Katie? I mean, ever since school started I havent seen him around as much, and when I do see him he is either with Landon or that skinny girl with the long, brown hair. I

think shes a freshman. I started fiddling with the charms on my bracelet. Now they were talking about me. Yeah, I have seen him with her too. Shes actually pretty. Another voice said. Please. She is so not pretty, and Kane is just checking out the new meat on campus, like he always does. You know how our relationship works. Relationship? I wouldnt call what you and Kane have a relationship, Katie. One of the other girls snickered and I found the urge to fist pump. The only relationship Kane was in was with me. Oh, really? Who does he always end up coming back to when hes bored with the others? Me, thats who. He goes out and has his fun but he always ends up

coming right back to me in the end. I just look at it this way, its obvious Kane and I will end up together. Hes just being a typical male and trying to sow all the wild oats he can before he settles down. And when I say before he settles down, I obviously mean before he settles down with me. She gave a girly giggle and the others followed suit I wanted to gag. How can this chick possibly think she is in any type of relationship with Kane? Either she is delusional or just flat out crazy. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. I quickly hopped on it, I wanted to be away from their convo before I did something stupid like march in there and set them straight like a crazy person. I finally made it to my room and threw

my things on my desk with more force than I had intended. Katie. Why did that name sound so familiar? I didnt know that many people around campus yet, but I didnt think I had met a Katie yet. Then it hit me. She was the girl who practically dry humped Kane that first night at Shots. I was trying to remember exactly how that night went. Did he really not seem interested in her? Or was it all just a front because he was talking to me? He did rush off that night. Maybe he did meet up with her later? I needed to stop this now. What was wrong with me? I trusted Kane, didnt I? I needed to just stop thinking about this right now. It would eat me alive if I didnt. I found the text book I needed to be

studying and threw myself on my bed. I cant believe I was letting what those girls where talking about get to me like this. I needed to trust my gut on this and my gut right now was telling me that I was being paranoid. It was obvious that Kane had never had an actual girlfriend before me, or else those girls would have talked about that. Why would he ask me to be his girlfriend when he had never worried about asking anyone else? I sighed. There, that was better. Just had a moment in crazy-town. I was Kanes girlfriend. He had chosen me out of all those other girls. That was something I needed to hold on to when all those other doubts crept into my head.

I was lost in my textbook, actually feeling the words sink into my brainI was going to ace this test tomorrow. I was sure of itwhen my cell alerted me of a text. I smiled when I saw Kanes name on the screen. Kane: I miss you. I missed him too. Had it really only been this morning since I last saw him? I looked up at my alarm clock at the time. It was already ten? Wow, I had been studying for six hours straight. No wonder I was feeling so confident about tomorrows test. I rubbed my face with my palms, now feeling the burn in my eyes from all the studying I had been doing. I picked up my phone to text Kane back.

I miss you too. Did you have a good day? I closed my book and set it on my desk. I think I had done enough studying tonight. I was pulling my hair up to go wash my face when he texted me back. Kane: I was without you, so no. My day has not been good. Did you learn anything new today? Boy did I ever. But I was sure he wasnt referring to the gossip I had overheard. I learned enough. Its a good thing you texted me when you did or I probably wouldnt have gotten any sleep tonight. I have been studying the past six hours and didnt notice. I could see he was typing out his

response, so I rushed off to the bathroom to wash my face before he finished. I was drying my face when I heard my phone chime twice from the other room. The first was from Jessi letting me know she would be home shortly and asking if I wanted her to grab me something to eat. Considering the fact that I hadnt eaten since lunch with Nate, I told her swing by a fast food place and get me something, then I opened Kanes text. Kane:Overachiever. ;) Im just finishing up here then Im headed up stairs. It would be nice if you were up there waiting on me. I dont know how Im going to sleep tonight after sleeping with you in my arms last night. He was right. After spending the night in his arms, sleeping alone in my bed just

didnt sound comfortable at all. I didnt want to be one of those girl that got a boyfriend and spent every waking minute together but I did miss him and wanted to be near him. I guess I understood now how couples could seclude themselves like that. Dont remind me. My bed is not as comfortable as yours anyway. ;) Kane: I could swing by and steal you away. Jessi is on her way back and she is bringing me some food. I guess Im going to eat and try to get some sleep. See you in the morning? I played with the charms on my bracelet while waiting for him to respond. I had noticed a tiny crack in one of the links the other day that I would need to get fixed as

soon as possible. I would hate for something to happen and it break. My phone lit up again. Kane: I will probably be waiting for you when you wake up. Cause as soon as I see day light Im coming to kiss those beautiful lips. Again his use of the word beautiful made my heart flutter. Promise? Kane: Promise. Goodnight, baby. Goodnight. <3 I clutched my phone to my chest for the next couple minutes. I couldnt stop smiling at the fact that he had called me baby. No one had ever called me baby before. Well, beside my mom, but obviously coming from Kane it held whole new meaning.

I was still holding my phone and smiling like an idiot when Jessi walked through the door. I immediately smelled the food and sat straight up. My stomach started growling and I was ready to tear into the bags she was holding. She held out one of the bags to me but jerked it back last minute before I could grab it. Hey! Give me that, Jessi! Im hungry! I whined like a baby but I really had not realized how hungry I was until she walked in with that food. Oh you are, huh? Then I bet you would be willing to do just about anything for this food, right? Like maybe even tell me all the juicy details about last night? She finished with a sly smile. Shit. I should have known.

I crossed my arms over my chest. You are an evil little person. You know that? She giggled and fanned the smell of the food toward me. I know. Spill. I sighed, Jessi, its kind of private you know. Um, hello?! I am your best friend. I know every dirty secret about you. This is no different. Plus, I told you all about my first time! I didnt ask you to! Actually, I am pretty sure I tried to get you to shut up numerous times. I never could look at Paul the same after that day. I shivered at her very detailed description of her first time. Come on, Kelsey. You know you are dying to tell me. She pouted. Fine! I will tell you some parts but Im not going into details, Jess. There are just

some things that are sacred and should be just for Kane and I. Got it? Got it. Now how was it? Was it romantic? Did he have it planned out? I rolled my eyes. She asked me to tell her, then she bombards me with questions. Yes, it was romantic, and, no, he didnt have it planned out. It sort of just happened. ActuallyI hung my head and fiddled with a puppy charm on my bracelet. I had wanted a dog so bad but my dad would have never allowed it, so the charm was my moms way of still giving me a puppyit was my idea. I kind of suggested we do it. Jessi was quiet and I finally drug my eyes up to hers. She was staring at me with her mouth hung open. Shut. Up! Kelsey, you did?! I would have never

guessed it was your idea to get your freak on. I pushed her shoulder hard. Oh, hush! We were in the water, messing around Hold up! You were in water? Damn are you sure he didnt have this planned? She winked. No, Jess, he didnt. It just felt right. I shrugged and went back to plucking at my charms. Thats beautiful, Kelsey. Im glad it was your decision and not something you were pressured into doing. He would never pressure me, Jess. Thats not what I meant. She placed her hand on mine. I am just saying that I am glad you knew you wanted to share this with him. That you made this decision. So many girls do it because they

fell they need to do it to either keep their boyfriendlike I didor because they just want to get it over with. I know you, and I know that if you decided to do this that its because you have some strong feelings for him. Am I right? I nodded. She hugged me. I am really happy for you, Kelsey. It makes me happy to see some of the old you coming back. Sometimes I thought I had lost her forever. She has always been here, Jessi. Just hiding I guess. She pulled back and smiled at me. Now. You got what you wanted. Give me my food. I yanked the bag from her grasp before she knew what was coming. No fair, Kelsey! That wasnt enough

and you know it! I smiled as I crammed my mouth full of fries. Too bad. I mumbled around the food. Jessi got up and stormed off to the bathroom and my smile grew bigger. Dont pout, Jess. Its not lady like, I yelled to her and she popped her head out of the bathroom with her toothbrush in hand. You know what else isnt lady like? Talking with your mouth full! she yelled back at me as I crammed more fries in my mouth. I had just about finished all my food by the time she came back in the room. She climbed in her bed and pulled the covers over her. One of these days, Kelsey, you will

tell me all about it. One of these days, she said as she yawned and rolled over. Dont hold your breath best friend, I replied as I wadded up my trash and tossed it across the room, making it into the trashcan. Night. I told her as I wiggled and tried to get comfortable in my bed, but there just wasnt any use. The only way I was going to get comfortable was to have a nice, warm set of tattooed arms wrapped around me.

There was a soft pecking sound that woke me up the next morning. I looked over at Jessi to see she was still sound asleep, but the pecking noise continued. Finally realizing it was coming from the door; I dragged my body from my bed and cracked it open just enough to see what was making the annoying sound. I was pleasantly surprised that the annoyingness was coming from my boyfriend. I pulled the door open the rest of the way and rested my head against it. Can I help you? I said around a yawn but still

smiled at him. How could I not? He was so dang cute. Told you I would be over here first thing. I couldnt sleep without you. He gave me a full dimple smile. I couldnt wait any longer so I came on over. Its actually still pretty early. You wanna see if we can catch a few more hours of sleep before class? I hadnt really slept well either. The only reason I had slept what little bit I did was because exhaustion had finally taken over. I couldnt think of anything I wanted more at the moment then to be able to sleep in Kanes arms again, so I gave him a nod. He instantly scooped me up in his arms and carried me to my bed, with me giggling the entire way. He threw us down onto the bed,

wrapped me up in his arms and buried his face in the crook of my neck. This is more like it, he sighed and I lightly ran my fingers up and down his arm. It didnt take long before I heard his breathing become slow and steady and I knew he was asleep. I took a moment just to let everything that had happened over the last few weeks sink in. I had started over fresh. Away from that horrible place, and that town, and everyone in it. I had memorialized my mom with a tattoo I never thought I would have gotten. I was slowly starting to find my way back to happiness and the living again. I had met new, amazing people to fill my life with. And I had a boyfriend I was falling in love with. I contentedly sighed and I drifted off to sleep. Happy.

My alarm went off and I stretched my arm out to silence it before it woke Kane up. After rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I looked over to see Jessi sitting on her bed, rubbing lotion on her arms, staring at Kane and me. What? I hissed in a hushed tone. She shrugged. Nothing. You two just look cozy. When did he sneak in here? She nodded toward Kane. I shrugged the best I could because Kanes head was on my shoulder and his arm and leg were draped across my body. Any movement was difficult. I dont know. Just a few hours ago. He couldnt sleep so he came over. I then noticed that Jessi was actually up and ready before

me. Wow, how long have you been up? She got up from her bed and walked over to her desk where she kept all her jewelry. Oh, not too long. When your alarm went off and you didnt wake up to turn it off, it woke me up so I turned it off for you. She smiled. Plus you two looked so cute I didnt want to disturb you. She shrugged as she put on her earrings. I finally glanced at the time on my alarm clock and saw that it was thirty minutes later than I normally woke up and I shot straight up in a panic. Kane grunted at my abruptness and then sat up himself. What is it? Whats wrong? he asked, looking wildly around the room. I threw the covers off my body and they ended up flying over Kanes head. I

glanced back and threw a sorry his way before grabbing some clothes from my closet and rushing to the bathroom to throw them on. I couldnt be late for my first class. I hadnt done all that studying for nothing. When I came back out of the bathroom, Jessi was gone and Kane was still sitting on my bed, but he at least looked fully awake and ready to go. Sorry about waking you up like that. Jessi turned my alarm off and I have a huge test this morning so I cant be late. I said as I threw on some shoes. Im going t o kill her! I jerked my hair back in a ponytail. I really was going to lay into her when I saw her again. What was she thinking?! Kelsey, its okay. You still have plenty

of time. Kane said as he stood and stretched his arms above his head, his shirt riding up just enough for me to see the lower part of his toned stomach and I had to turn my head so that I wouldnt get distracted enough to decide to just skip class and lock myself away in here with him for the rest of the day. When I finally had my hair out of the way, I grabbed my bag from my desk and started cramming things in. I went to hoist it on my shoulder, but Kane took it from me at the last second. I got it. Lets get you to that test before you have an aneurysm. He kissed my forehead and I swatted him on the arm, but I didnt argue with him since he was kind of right. While we were waiting for the elevators, Kane brought our interlaced

hands to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. I smiled at him, then rested my head on his shoulder. I could get used to this. Well, look who it is, a voice cooed from behind us, and I didnt have to turn to know who it was. I remembered it perfectly from yesterday. Katie. Kane sighed, then slowly turned to look at her. Morning, Katie, he said flatly. I didnt bother turning around for fear that I might claw her eyes out. Which was completely unlike me, but I didnt like her thinking she had any sort of claim on Kane. Morning to you too. Its been a while. How come you havent been around to see me, Kane? I could hear the girly flirt in her voice and it was putting me on edge. I

really wished these stupid elevators were faster, but then again, did I really want to be locked in an elevator with this girl? Things would probably get very ugly if I were locked in such close quarters with her. Kane completely ignored her question and instead said, Have you met my girlfriend, Kelsey? I peeked up at him and he smiled down at me. Great now I was going to have to turn around and acknowledge this girl when I really didnt want to, but to be polite I glanced over my shoulder and gave her a tight smile. Hi, I chirped. Katie looked about as thrilled to be talking to me as I was to her. She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me a scowl before plastering a fake smile

across her face and exclaiming, Girlfriend?! I didnt know you had a girlfriend! She then paused and leaned in toward me. You lucked out with this one, doll. Hes a real catch. Enjoy him. She didnt have to finish her sentence for me to know what she really meant. Enjoy him while it lasts. I bit the inside of my cheek and smiled, then turned back around because the elevator had finally arrived. Kane and I stepped on. When the doors started to close and Katie still had not stepped inside, Kane shot his hand out and stopped them. Were you getting on? he asked her. You know what? I forgot something in my room. I will catch the next one. You two have a nice day. She gave us another

fake smile. Oh, and Kane, just because you have a girlfriend now doesnt mean you have to go ignoring your friends. Im sure Kelly wouldnt mind sharing you from time to time, she sneered. Its Kelsey, I said and knocked Kanes hand down and watched the elevator doors close in her face. Bitch, I mumbled. Kane laughed and I glared at him. What?! She was hitting on you! Right after you told her that I was your girlfriend! Who does that?! I was almost shouting. I was feeling very territorial at the moment and I didnt like the he was finding it amusing. Youre right. Shes a bitch, he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned in for a kiss that I pulled away

from. Why in the world would you even hold the elevator for her in the first place? I questioned. If he hated her so much, wouldnt he have just let the doors close on her like I had planned to do all along? He gave me a puzzled look. I dont know, Kelsey. Its just a habit I guess to hold the door or elevator door for someone. I wasnt really thinking about who it was for. I knew I was being silly, but I couldnt help it. That girl had me so annoyed right now and I was taking it out on Kane. Youre right, I sighed. I just dont like her. That makes two of us. He winked and leaned in again to kiss me. This time I let him.

Kane and I had begun spending almost all our time together. He was either coming to stay with me at my dorm or I was going to his apartment. After that first night when we both found it hard to sleep, we decided that it was best if we just went ahead and stayed together. Seeing as how both of us would be useless if we went every day on only a couple hours of sleep. Tonight was one of the nights we were staying at his apartment. We had gone bowling with Jessi and Landon earlier that night, and since his apartment was closer, we decided to crash here. I had just taken a shower and was now sitting on the edge of Kanes bed, wringing my hands

together. We hadnt had sex again since that first night. Kane had said he was giving me time to heal from the soreness, but I was more than ready to give it another go. I just wasnt sure how to approach the subject. Do I just come out and tell him? Do I try to seduce him into it? I heard the water in the bathroom shut off, and the butterflies that had been floating around in my stomach grew into what was more like an angry swarm of bumble bees. My stomach was flipping so hard, it was almost painful. I couldnt believe what I was about to do, but dang it, he gave me a taste of something then just took it away. Did he not know that he was being a super tease? If I wanted more, I was going to have to go after it.

I heard the bathroom door open and then close. The floorboards creaked under his weight as he began walking down the hall toward his room, where I was. He twisted the knob and pushed open the door, wearing nothing but a fluffy blue towel. The tattoos going up both his arms and across the top of his chest were clearly visibly in all their beautiful glory. I was never going to get tired of looking at those tattoos, or at him for that matter. I dont care what some people say, a man can be beautiful and Kane definitely was. He was simply stunning. What are you staring at? he lightly laughed as he walked over to his dresser and opened the top drawer. As he passed by me I could smell his sweet scent. There had been times I had wondered if he

actually wore cologne or if it was just body wash I smelled. I guess now I had my answer. Nothing. I shyly shrugged. If he only knew what was going through my head at this moment. My face grew hot just from the thought. Yeah, I dont believe you. He smiled as he pulled a pair of black boxer briefs from his drawer and slid them on under his towel, then dropped the towel into the hamper. What a shame. His smile grew even larger, causing those dimples I loved so much to deepen. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and gave his lip ring and quick flip. Ah hell, he was doing that on purpose. He knew what playing with that lip ring did to

me. Well, mister, two could play that game. I scooted back further onto the bed, keeping my eyes on his. I slowly laid my body back onto the middle, then stretched my arms above my head and faked a yawn. I could feel that my tank had ridden up around my belly button making a good two full inches of the bare skin of my stomach visible. My pajama shorts rested pretty low on my hips and I knew he could see my hip bones sticking out. Kane had this weird thing with my hip bones that I was becoming aware of. I had begun to notice that anytime we would lie together and my hip bones were exposed, he would constantly rub over them. It wasnt the most normal thing to fetish over, but hey, some people got off on

sucking other peoples toes. I would take a hip bone fetish over a toe jam sucker any day. Wow. I am so tired tonight. This day has gone by so slowly. I couldnt wait to get it over with so I could curl up in bed and finally get some sleep. I tucked my hands behind my head, and closed my eyes. Even with my eyes closed I knew he was still looking at me. I could feel it; I could feel the passion rolling off him, washing over me. I pointed the toe of my left foot and began lazily sliding it up and down the calf of my right leg, and faked another yawn. The bed dipped and I felt a warm hand begin caressing the inside of my calf, I smiled. I had him.

You can wipe that grin off your pretty little face right now. You got what you wanted. You have my full attention now, sweetheart. His hot breath tickled my neck and he lowered his head down to nuzzle the sensitive skin between my shoulder and neck. I sighed as his hand continued to rub up and down my leg, going a little higher with each trip up. He softly kissed a line across my shoulder and back before pulling back to look at me. I dont think I will ever get enough of you, Kels. Im addicted, and there is no going back for me. I never thought my heart was capable of these feelings until you. You shine so bright, and so warm, that you melted the ice I had around my heart and made me feel again. He leaned

forward, rested his forehead against mine and took a deep breath that he held for a minute before slowly blowing it out. I love you, Kelsey. I didnt know if it was possible for a heart to have butterflies, but at that moment, after he said those three words to me, my heart most definitely had butterflies. He finally pulled his face back to look me in the eye. I do, Kelsey. I love you so damn much. I placed my hand on his cheek. He leaned into my touch and I gently ran the pad of my thumb under his eye. I love you too, I softly whispered to him. My throat was so tight from the overwhelming emotions I was feeling for him, a whisper was all I could manage.

His smile beamed so bright after I whispered those words, and he crushed his mouth to mine, kissing me deeply as if his life depended on that one kiss. He wasted no time ridding me of my tank and pajama bottoms, and began exploring my body first with his hands, and then with his mouth. Placing feather light kisses on my most sensitive areas. I could feel his lip ring with every kiss that he placed. The cold metal against my heated skin was almost enough to send me over the edge. He kissed across my collar bone, then slowly down to the mounds of my breasts. I couldnt stop the quiver that ran through my body as his tongue ran across one mound and dipped down between the two. He must have felt my shudder, because he let out a throaty laugh

and cupped my other breast in his hand ever so lightly, massaging it with his palm and fingers. This man had magic hands, let me tell you. I arched my back, pushing my chest deeper into his touch. He responded by settling his body between my thighs, pressing himself against me, just the pressure of having his hardness against me had me gripping and clawing at his back. Take off your underwear, I said, and was shocked by the words that had just tumbled out of my mouth. I was usually not this outspoken, but when it came to Kane, all bets were off. He made me feel brave and alive. He was slowly bringing out a side of me I didnt know even existed. He chuckled at my demand. I will, just wait. There is time for that later. Right

now there are a few parts of your body I have been dying to get my mouth on. He looked up at me, his gray eyes full of lust and wanting. I kept my eyes glued to his as he slowly rained kisses down between my breasts, then to my stomach where he used his tongue to draw a lazy heart around my belly button before lightly blowing air across it. My hips thrust up of their own accord and Kane hooked his finger around the string of my pink panties before leisurely pulling them down my legs. Once he had rid them from my ankles, he raked his eyes up my body. Starting at my toes then slowly going up my legs, pausing a bit longer on my more intimate areas, before resting back on my eyes. I should have felt

a bit insecure being all exposed to him like that, but I didnt feel that at all. Seeing his desire for me actually made me feel empowered. Just knowing that I could make his breathing shaky and eyes gloss over the way they were, had my body humming all over. Every inch of you is perfect, Kelsey. He shook his head slightly as if trying to bring himself out of a daze. Lightly grasping my ankle in his big, strong hand, he brought it to his mouth and placed soft kisses there and then up my calf, murmuring sweet little words in between each kiss. When he finally made it to my thigh, I felt him sink down onto the bed, lying flat on his stomach. Oh Lord. I didnt know a lot about sex, but I knew what this meant and my body automatically went

ridged. Um, Kane I dont know if you should I broke off, not knowing if I could actually come out and say the exact words. Kelsey just shut up. He smiled up at me before placing a feather light kiss high on my inner thigh, almost, but not quite close enough to where I was throbbing. I laid my head back on the bed and closed my eyes. Still not really one hundred percent sure about this. Sure I had every intention of getting a little action tonight but I never expected this. Kelsey, relax. I heard Kane say, but didnt open my eyes to look at him. But but youre getting ready to put your face somewhere that faces shouldnt

really go! I blurted out. Oh, believe me, baby. They most certainly should go there, he laughed. Stop laughing at me, Kane. This is so not funny! I could still feel the small vibrations from his laughter shaking the bed when he asked, Do you trust me, Kelsey? I rose up onto my elbows and looked down at him. Yes. Yes, Kane, I do. Good. Then lay down and let me do this for you. But No, Kelsey. No buts. You say you trust me, right? I nodded. Then trust me. Youre going to enjoy this, baby. What the real question here is, whos going to enjoy it more? You or

me? One side of his mouth pulled up in a sly seductive grin. Sighing, I finally laid back down. Do as the man says, Kelsey. Relax. People do this all the time, right? I thought to myself. Before I could start to second guess my decision to go through with this, Kanes warm mouth covered me, making me forget any thought I had in my head about stopping what was happening, making me forget any thought I had in my head period, except for what he was doing and how good it felt. As if my hands had a mind of their own, they shot out and grabbed at Kanes head. Not sure if I was pulling him away because the feeling was too much, or pushing him harder against me because I never wanted him to stop what he was

doing, I felt his name fall from my lips in a blissful sigh, Kane. I know, baby. And Im just getting started. Just getting started? Oh wow. I didnt know how much more of it I could take before I fell over the edge, but one flick of his tongue had me seeing stars and hearing angels sing and I was pretty sure I knew the answer to his question. I was most definitely going to enjoy this more. Oh yes, I was.

I woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon. My stomach automatically started growling but I really didnt want to get out of bed yet. Good thing I didnt have to, because Kane walked through the bedroom door about that time wearing nothing but a pair of black, mesh shorts. His glorious, toned chest on display. He also had a coffee cup in one hand and a plate in the other. You finally awake? He smiled as he asked. Mhmm. I said as I sat up against his

headboard. Is that for me? I nodded toward the plate that I could now see was stacked full of heart shaped pancakes and bacon. Im pretty sure I could feel the drool running down my chin. Kane plopped down on the bed but made no attempt to give me the plate, only popping a piece of bacon into his mouth instead. Nope, this is mine. Get your own, he mumbled around the bacon in his mouth. I glared at him for a second, then pounced. When it came to bacon, I didnt play around. I threw the cover up and over the footboard, and had his hips straddled between my thighs and my hands on the plate before he knew what hit him. He looked a little shocked but also pleased. Wow. Didnt know you loved

breakfast this much. I may just have to wake you up with food all the time if it ends with us in the position. He looked down to where our bodies were pressed together. Before, this might have embarrassed me, but now all it did was make me tingle all over, and those tingles must have caused bravery because my response to him was to grind my hips down into his. He let out a long, low growl. Kelsey I couldnt help the shiver that ran though my body at the husky way he said my name. He must have felt it, because he set the plate that he had been holding on the night stand beside his bed, and then flipped me over onto my back before taking my bottom lip between his teeth and giving it a little pull. I gripped his large

biceps in my hands, squeezing them as the tingles in my stomach began to spread a little lower. Kane ran his nose along my jawline, then down my neck before lightly sucking where my shoulder and neck meet. Mmmhe sighedyou taste so much better than breakfast. He slowly licked a path up to my ear. I want to be inside you, Kelsey, but I can wait if youre still not ready. He breathed into my ear. Just hearing him say he wanted to be inside me had me feeling I like I was going to explode. I pulled my knees up around his hips and dug my heels into his backside to bring him closer to me. Then I began to rub my body against his letting him know exactly what I wanted. He groaned in my

ear and I decided then, that had to be the sexiest sound in the world. I put my feet back on the bed and pushed, causing him to roll over and for me to be on top again. I looked down at him and he smiled, probably liking that I was taking control this time. I wasnt exactly sure as to what I was doing, but I was going with what felt good. I grabbed the bottom of my tank top and pulled it over my head. My bare chest was on full display now. Kane sat up and began kissing my neck again. He lightly trailed his fingers up my stomach until he had my breasts in each of his warm hands. My head fell back and I sank my body deeper onto his. I really wished I had taken off our bottoms first, but we would get there soon enough. Kane nuzzled and

kissed his way down my neck to my chest before taking one of my nipples into his mouth. I ran my hand over his short hair, holding him in place. He was licking and sucking and had my whole body feel as though it was melting. Before I knew it, I was flipped on my back again and Kane was pulling my shorts down my legs. When I was completely naked, he covered my body with his again and began lightly kissing my mouth. He used his tongue to tease mine, barely grazing mine before retreating back into his mouth. I slid my hands under his arms to his back, pressing the tips of my fingers into his flesh as I made my way down. When my fingers finally reached the band of his shorts, I began to pull them down, but could only get them so far before he had to

help me. When we were both finally, completely bare, Kane stopped kissing me and sat up on his elbows. He ran his thumb under my eye along my cheekbone. I really do love you, Kelsey. My heart swelled. I would never get tired of hearing him say that. You own me now, you know that? Never in my life have I wanted or loved a person as much as I do you. I dont care that we havent known each other long. I know what I feel and this just feels meant to be. That everything is completely right when I am with you. I nodded. I know, I said as I took his face in my hands. I think my heart knew it wanted you from the moment I first laid my eyes on you. I couldnt get you out of

my head, and we literally kept bumping into each other. I have never really believed in signs, or fate, before, but I have to now that I have you in my life. All the bad things that have happened to us had to happen for us to find each other. It was true. I had lost my mom, but in losing her I had also found Kane. I probably would have never left that town had she still been living there. I wouldnt have been able to leave her. And while I wished more than anything I could have them both, I knew my mom would be happy that I had found love. I never want to know what life is without you, Kelsey. Not. Ever. Again, he finished as he slowly slid inside me. I gasped. I could feel the tightness of my body stretching, allowing him to fit inside,

but it was nowhere near the pain of the first time. This time it was a pleasurable pain and I could already feel the building of my orgasm. Kane surprised me by leaning back into a sitting position pulling me back on top, our faces nearly touching. I took advantage of the new position and began kissing him. I wanted to lose myself in this moment, in this kiss. Kane gripped my hips and began to show me how to rock myself back and forth on his lap. This new position was making him rub me in new ways, and I knew my climax was coming quicker than I had expected it to. When the feeling became too much, I began to rock myself harder and faster, gasping in his mouth while we were kissing. My nails were digging into his back and I was scared I

was probably breaking skin, but I couldnt help myself. The feeling was too intense and I felt like I was going to fly away if I didnt hold on to him. Kane pulled my bottom lip between his teeth again, and that was all it took to send me splintering into a million different pieces. I gasped and lost the rhythm I had going, but Kane took my hips and pushed on through until he found his release as well. When he was finished, he rested his forehead on my chest while we both tried to control our breathing. I lightly rubbed Kanes back until he raised his head to look at me. We both smiled at each other before Kane laid us back down on the bed. Please tell me I will get tired of this

eventually, because, honestly, I think I am becoming addicted, I giggled. Kane laced his fingers with mine before bringing our joined hands to his mouth to kiss each of my knuckles. I became addicted to you a long time ago. We ended up staying in bed for a good part of morning. We talked about his plans for the bar he wanted to open, and how he couldnt wait to run his own place. His excitement about his plans were contagious and I couldnt help but picture Kane in his own bar. He would make a great boss. He was always in control of himself and level headed most of the time. I had only seen him lose his cool a couple times, but both of those times had been when the fights had happened at the bar, and, honestly, that was enough to

make anyone go a little off the edge. Later that evening, Kane had to work and I decided to just stay upstairs at his place. I had some studying to do, and there was no way I would want him dragging himself out so late to run me back to the dorms. Nate, Jessi, and I had finished our assignment a few days before and had made an A on it. I was so glad to finally be finished with it. It hadnt been a hard assignment, but now that it was over I had more free time to spend with Kane. But I also felt bad, because since we had finished, I hadnt really spoken to Nate that much. Other than Kane and Landon, Nate had been one of the closest friends I had made here, and now that I had a boyfriend I had

completely dropped him. Maybe I should text him and see if he wants to meet up for coffee one day? I wasnt sure how Kane would feel about it, but he would just have to get over it. I knew he had nothing to worry about when it came to Nate, he would just have to trust me. I had done all the studying I could handle for one night, and it was still pretty early. Kane wouldnt be off work for at least another two and a half hours. And after not finding anything good to watch on TV, boredom got the best of me and I decided to walk down to Shots to see what Kane was up too. I went ahead and changed out of my study sweats and threw on some more people-friendly clothing. It was Friday night, and even though it wasnt Shots

most popular night, I didnt want to go down there looking like a complete slob. Jessi had been on a date with Landon, but they had talked about swinging by, so maybe I could pass the time with them while I waited for Kane to get off work. I approached the door and waved at doorman, whose name I learned was Jerry. Hey, Jerry. Busy night? I asked as I took in the somewhat-long line of people waiting to be let into Shots. Nah, not too bad. You here to see Kane? he asked. I nodded. Yeah, I finished my studying early and decided to come down and visit a while. No point in sitting upstairs all alone when my boyfriend is just down here right? I smiled at him as he stepped back to let me enter the bar.

I guess youre right. He should be in there somewhere, darlin. Have a good night. I gave Jerry a small wave and made my way into the bar. It wasnt super crowded. I had seen it busier, but I was glad for the small numbers tonight. It would make it easier to find Kane. I approached the bar to order a drink while I looked for him. While standing there waiting for the bartender to take my order, a few people stepped away from the bar and I was able to see Kane leaning against the far wall on the other end. I automatically smiled at the sight of him, but that smile was short-lived when I saw Katie sway her way up to him. I stood there and watched as she placed her hand

on his arm and I fought the urge to go break every one of her fingers, but this was a turning point for me. This would be the point where I could put every doubt I had ever had about Kane to rest. I stood there, the rest of the bar, and everyone in it, melting away until it was just Kane, Katie, and I left. I held my breath waiting for him to shake her hand off his arm but that didnt happen. What happened next was Katie pressing her body against my boyfriend before she wrapped her free hand around the back of his neck and brought his lips down to hers. My stomach dropped to my feet as I watched Kane kiss Katie, and when I couldnt stomach it anymore, I turned and ran out of the bar. I had made it to the sidewalk when I heard someone calling

my name. I couldnt make out the voice of who it was over the pounding of my heart in my ears, and I didnt want to turn around in case it was Kane. I didnt want to see him. I didnt want to look at him and remember seeing his lips pressed to Katies. I felt a warm hand touch my arm and I immediately jerked away. The pounding in my ears had let up enough by now, though, that I could hear Jessis voice talking to me. I looked at her, but her face was all blurry. It was then, I realized, I was trying to look at her through my own tears. Kelsey, what the hell is wrong? Youre scaring me! She firmly took my elbow him her hand. Where is Kane? Did something happen? Just hearing his name wrecked me. I

wanted to be away from here, away from him. Jessi can you take me back to the dorms? I managed to ask, though my throat closed off on the last couple of words. I was begging my body to go ahead and sob, just go ahead and let it all out right here on the sidewalk, but I wouldnt do that. Sweetie, you have to tell me whats wrong. You are really scaring me now, Jessi pleaded with me. I need to get out of here right now, Jessi, and I swear I will tell you everything. Just please, take me back to the dorms. She nodded and wrapped her arm around me and began walking me toward the parking lot. I then noticed Landon standing a few feet behind her. He was

flipping his keys back and forth on his finger. Clearly not knowing how to handle the situation. Just before we walked past him, Jessi paused. I need you to take us back to the dorms. Landon nodded, then pointed over his shoulder with his thumb toward the bar. Okay, do you want me to run in real quick and let Kane know whats up? No! I said a little too loudly but I didnt want him to tell Kane anything. He had lost the right to know any of my business the minute his lips touched Katies. No. I just want to go to the dorms now. If you guys are wanting to stay, I will walk back. Jessi shook her head. No, its fine. We will take you. She then glared at Landon and he hurried along to unlock his truck

for us. I climbed inside Landons truck and shut the door. Jessi laced her fingers with mine and gave me a small smile. I wasnt looking forward to telling her what had happened tonight. She was going to flip her shit and try to kill Kane, I just knew it. But I didnt want that. I just wanted him out of my life. I cant believe I had been so stupid to just give him everything like I had. I guess Nate had been right. I didnt know the real Kane after all.

As soon as we were back in our dorm, I began telling Jessi everything that had happened that night. How I had finished studying and went to Shots to surprise Kane, and how I had found him with Katie. Like I knew she would, she was ready to head over to Shots and castrate him. I loved my best friend. She was always willing to do whatever it took to make me happy, but there was no fixing this. This was a broken heart. I had been stupid enough to trust Kane with the most fragile

part of myself, and he had let me down. My heart had already gone through so much when I had lost my mom, that I wasnt sure if it would ever be right again after what Kane had done to it tonight. While I had been telling Jessi about what I had seen Kane do, the screen on my cell phone lit up. We ignored it. I didnt have to look to know who it was from. Finally, after the third time it lit up, Jessi grabbed my phone from my nightstand, You want me to text him back? Tell him he can go straight to hell and take that whore with him? I shook my head. No. I can handle him. I took my phone from her hand. I need to do this alone, though. I said as I got up and went into the bathroom for some privacy.

When I was in the bathroom, I locked the door then turned to rest my back against it. I stared at my phone and the unopened text messages before I slid my back down the door to sit on the bathroom floor. The first text from him read. Kelsey, where are you? Shortly after he sent that one, he sent another. Baby, I dont know what happened. Landon just stopped by and told me that Jessi and he found you outside of the bar crying? What is going on? And then finally... Talk to me, baby. Please. I took a deep calming breath before tapping out my reply. My hands were already shaking from the fury I was feeling about what he had done tonight.

Do not text me again. Do not call me. Forget you ever met me, Kane. Im done. I am SO done. I took another deep breath to try to calm my nerves, but it didnt help. My phone shook in my trembling hands, and I could see that Kane was typing out his reply. Not that it mattered . There was nothing he could say that would change what hed done tonight. My screen lit up again and I looked down. I am coming over. This is just crazy. I dont know whats going on. I leave you, go to work and the next thing I know my best friend is telling me he finds you in the middle of the sidewalk crying your eyes out? I dont get it Kels.

WHAT HAPPENED? ...... Im on my way now. We are going to talk about this. My breathing became erratic. He cant come over. I cant face him right now! He had crushed my entire world, and I wasnt sure what I would do to him when I came face-to-face with him again. I quickly tapped out a response. No, Kane. We are done. I dont want you to come over. I never want to see you again. You can tell Katie I said Hi I hope she was worth it... The tiny box that showed he was typing out a response to me popped up, but then quickly disappeared. I waited a few more seconds on him to respond, but he never did. He knew he had been caught and he had nothing left to say.

I picked myself up off the bathroom floor and turned on the shower. I wanted to cry, needed to cry. So I decided the shower was the best place to let it all out. It would mask my sobs from Jessi, and it would hide the obscene amount of tears from myself. When the hot water of the shower was washing over my body, I sank to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees. How could I have been so stupid? I wanted to give Kane the benefit of the doubt, that he had changed from the person he used to be but I guess in the end he was just a good liar. He had lied to me, fooled me into believing he was someone that he was not; and I was an idiot to think that I would ever be enough to be able to hold onto a person like Kane Riley.

No. In the end, the temptation of other women won out, and I was left looking like a fool. I dont know how long I has sat in the shower before muffled voices carried over the beat of water. I stood up and turned it off and listened for a second. I could hear Jessis high-pitched voice as she yelled, followed by deep rumble of someone calling my name. I know she is here, Jessi, and I am going to talk to her about this! Kane shouted. I didnt want to face him, but I couldnt let him keep screaming in the dorms like that. All it was going to do was cause Jessi and I trouble from the RA in the end. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body. As I turned the knob on the door to the

bathroom, I could hear Jessi loud and clear. You asshole! How could you! And how dare you show up tonight after what you have done! I paused and waited for his reply. Jessi, you dont get it. Im not exactly sure what Kelsey saw but I have to talk to her and explain I dont want, nor do I need, an explanation from you, Kane, I said as I stepped around the bathroom door. My eyes immediately locked with his beautiful, gray eyes. I would miss staring at those eyes. Baby, listen, we have to talk about this. I dont think you understand... I held up my hand to stop him. Oh, I understand completely, Kane. I understand

that I should have listened to what the people around here, the people who know youknow you better than I dohad to say about you. You never changed. You were just looking to have a good time with the new girl in town. Well, you have had your fun, and now I would like for you to leave. He took one step toward me with his hands extended. I smacked his hands away and took a step back. Dont touch me, Kane. Dont ever touch me again. Dont contact me, dont think about me, and dont come back here again. We are over. You did this. You did this to us. I cant forgive you, I wont. I need you to leave now. My voice was becoming shaky and I knew the tears were about to fall, but I really didnt want to cry in front of him.

I looked at Jessi, who I had forgotten had been standing there this entire time, and gave her a look for help. She immediately understood and began pushing Kane back toward the door. He didnt fight her. He could probably see how broken I was about this whole situation all over my face. I couldnt stop the one, lone tear that fell from my eyes and rolled down my cheek just before Jessi pushed him out the door, slamming it in his face when he was finally back in the hallway. When the door was closed, she locked it but it didnt stop the one, loud thump that came from the other side. I would assume it was from Kane hitting the door. Kelsey, I love you. I am going to fix this. You will see. I will fix this.

I stood there a minute hugging myself. When it was finally quiet again, and it had seemed like Kane had finally gone home, I went to my bed and crawled in, pulling the covers up to my neck as I did. I didnt even bother to shed my towel and put on some actual clothes. I was mentally exhausted, and I just wanted to go to sleep and pretend I had never met Kane Riley. Pretend I had not given him a part of me that I could never get back. My heart.

When I woke the next day, my eyes burned from the ridiculous amount of crying I had done throughout the night. I had cried over the loss of my first relationship. I cried over the loss of Kane, and the fact that I wouldnt have him in my life anymore. He had become a regular part of my everyday life, and now I was going to have to find something new to distract me from thinking about him. But most of all, I cried over the fact that I was beginning to lose the me that I had worked so hard to find again.

When I finally sat up in bed, I saw that Jessi was already awake. Was I in a parallel universe? Jessi waking up before me Jessi having a committed boyfriend oh, how times had changed since we started college. Morning. She gave me a small smile and came to sit on my bed with me. I pulled my legs up to my chest, then rested my chin on my knees. Morning. How long have you been awake? I cant believe you are up so early. I gave a small smile and she rested her hand on my arm. Kelsey, its not early. Its already two in the afternoon. I glanced at my alarm clock sitting on my nightstand. She was right. I had slept most of the day. I sighed and flopped my

body back onto my bed, What is with me lately? I sleep all day. I make bad judgment about people. I pulled the cover up over my head, Im just going to stay right here for the rest of my life. I obviously suck at life so why bother trying to fake it. Jessi jerked the cover away from my face and hovered over me. You listen to me, Kelsey Rien. You are going to get through this. I know you have had a shitty hand dealt to you your whole life, and what Kane did just added to that, but you are stronger than this. You will get through this. She was right. I was stronger than this stupid break up. I refused to let Kane and this whole situation drag me back into the dark place I had found so hard to get out

of. Youre right, Jessi. You are so right. I am going to dust this off. Kane who? She smiled. That is exactly right. Kane who? You just wait, babe. If you thought relationship sex was good, wait until you have tried your hand at rebound sex. She winked and I cringed. There was no way I was going to go that far. I just wanted to be happy. The sex with Kane was not what had been making me happy. It was just him, but that had been a lie, so I needed to move on. I hopped up from the bed and looked at Jessi. Im going to get ready. Then we are going to go out and do something fun. Sitting in the dorm room will not help matters any, and why should I have to hide away? I didnt fuck up. He did. Jessi stood and hugged me. Atta girl!

You get ready. I will go get us some coffee, then we will go get manis and pedis. She grabbed her purse and headed toward the door. With her hand on the knob, she paused. Im really glad you are not going to let this get you down, Kels. Im glad to finally have some of the old you back, and Im not ready to lose her again. I smiled at Jessi and she continued on her way to get our coffees, and started getting ready foranotherfresh start. Jessi and I had spent the first part of the day getting manis, pedis, and massages. It felt so good to have someone rub all the sorrow away from my body that it had been feeling the night before. Walking out of the spa that day, I felt like a new person. I could do this. I could be happy

without Kane. Now that all our problems had been rubbed and soothed out of us, we were left with limited options for what to do with the rest of our night. The town our college was in wasnt all that big, so the things we could do were sort of limited. The only thing we knew was we wanted to go dancing, but the only place we could do that was Shots. I had known that Kanes schedule had him off tonight because we were supposed to go out. So I at least knew he wouldnt be working as a bouncer, but that didnt mean he wouldnt be there. Jessi had said that she would drive as far as we needed to, to go to a place to dance, but there was no point. I couldnt avoid Kane forever. We went to the same

school. Our best friends were dating. It was better to just rip the Band-Aid off now and just get that first time being in the same vicinity over with. We went straight from the spa to Shots. Landon was helping his parents with something for the night, so it would just be Jessi and me. Just like it always had been. When we approached the door, Jerry gave me a knowing look. I know he had seen me run out last night even though he had made not attempts to stop me or talk to me. He also didnt bring it up as we walked past him and into Shots. We made our way to the bar where Jessi ordered double shots of Patrn that we tossed back as soon as they were set in front of us. I welcomed the burning sensation the alcohol provided as it went

down. Woo, I said, shaking my head back and forth. Its been a while. I know right?! she shouted back. You are going to have so much fun tonight, Kels. I just know it. Nowshe said clapping her hands togetherlets get out there and find you some hot piece of tail to play with, she said, pulling on my hand and dragging me toward the dance floor. With the alcohol from the shot, I felt my body loosening up more than it already had been. All I really wanted to do was dance. I wanted to lose myself in the beat of a good song. A new Kelly Clarkson was blasting, and the lights were flashing and I let my body flow to the beat. I felt someone come up behind me and

begin to dance with me. My body automatically stiffened, and I turned to tell the person to back the fuck off because I really didnt want to be pawed at tonight. I wanted to dance by myself and just not have any worries. When I turned to tell the person dancing with me to get lost, I found a familiar set of blue eyes. Nate, I breathed a sigh of relief. I was so thankful it had not been some random stranger. I looked over at Jessi who signaled to me that she was going to go to the bathroom. I nodded at her to let her know I was okay and she began weaving her way through the crowd. Hey, Kelsey. Good to see you. It feels like since we finished our project you have been avoiding me. He leaned down and said into my ear.

Yeah, I know. Im sorry. I had just thought to myself last night that I should call you and see if you wanted to meet up for coffee sometime this week. But then some stuff went down and I never got around to it. I did truly feel bad at the way I had dropped Nate. He was one of the first people I had met when I started school here, and he had been the one to try to warn me about Kane. Though at times, Nates attitude had come off a little strange, or jealous of, Kane, he had been right in the end. We are friends, Nate. Im sorry I have been so distant lately. Nate smiled at me before leaning down to my ear to speak, Its fine, Kelsey. I know we are friends. You have a

boyfriend and a life. You cant be worrying about spending time with me. I was shaking my head before he could even finish what he was saying. One, I dont have a boyfriend anymore. Two, even though I had a boyfriend, that does not excuse dropping everyone in my life. Nate pulled back to look at me, a puzzled look on his face. You are Kane are no longer together? I shook my head. It hurt worse than Id thought it would to admit it to someone other than myself. No. You were right. I didnt know the real Kane. He gave me a sad smile before taking my hand in his. Im sorry, Kelsey. I didnt want to be right about that. I didnt want to see you hurt. But its probably for the best that it ended as soon as it did

before you let yourself fall too much for him. Little did he know I had fallen to the bottom with Kane, and it was going to be a hard climb back to the top, but I would get there. Nate smiled before he spoke again. You know what? You still owe me a dance. I owed him a dance? I looked at him confused. You remember. The night you wore that amazing pink dress? You promised me a dance and then left before I could get it from you. I thought back to that night. He was right. I was so worked up over Kane that night that I had forgotten about even talking to Nate. What a bitch he must have

thought I was. Look, I know things just went sour with you and Kane, but maybe this is what you need. A good night out with some good friends. He gave me his milliondollar smile, and I smiled back. That is exactly what tonight is about. So I would love to dance with you, Nate. Nate pulled my body closer to his and while I was genuinely happy to have a friend like Nate to dance with, I wasnt sure how I was going to react to all this. Kane was the only person I had ever been this close to, but since Nate was a close friend, I was going with it and hoping for the best. A new song started up and Nate placed one hand lightly on my hip, watching my face the entire time as if to make sure I

was okay with it. His hand, being where it was, sent a jolt through me at first. Kane was the last person who had touched me like this. I shook my head and pushed all thoughts of Kane away. Dance. I just needed to dance. I closed my eyes again and just felt the beat of the music and everything else faded away again. It was so crazy how music could take you away from all your troubles. How sometimes a certain song could tell your whole lifes story. I loved losing myself in music. I had been so lost in the beat that I hadnt noticed how close Nate and I were now. I was straddling one of his knees and had both my arms wrapped around his neck. I tried to pull back a little when I realized how close we were, but the grip

he had on my hips tightened. Nate I started, but he interrupted me. Kelsey, just go with it, he said with a slight begging in his tone. Nate, really, we need to put some distance between ourselves. I was not feeling the least bit of attraction to Nate, but I could now see that by the look in his eye, he was looking at this more than what it was just a dance with a friend. I glanced toward the bar and immediately locked eyes with Kane. I didnt think he would be working tonight. He was standing there glowering at me and Nate. He wasted no time shoving his way through the crowd toward us. Oh no, I mumbled. What? Nate asked.

Kane. I gave a nod. Nate turned his head and saw Kane stalking toward us. Dont worry, Kelsey. I wont let him near you. I gave Nate a questioning look. I wasnt scared for Kane to be near me. In all honesty, the way Nate was acting was what was scaring me. What the hell? Kane growled as he stopped in front of us. Twenty-four hours, Kelsey. It has been twenty-four fucking hours since our fight, and you are already dancing with this tool?! Kane shouted, and I couldnt help but cower at the intensity of his voice. Nate noticed and automatically jumped to the wrong conclusion. Look, Kane. You need to leave. Kelsey doesnt want to be around you. Cant you see you are

scaring her? Kanes eyes slowly slid to Nate, and I could see the hatred laced within them. Back. The. Fuck. Off. My girlfriend, Kane growled. Nate let out a slight chuckle and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to his side. Girlfriend, huh? Thats not what she was telling me a few minutes ago. Kanes eyes shot back to me. Kelsey? he questioned. We had a fight. A misunderstanding. We havent even had a chance to talk about it yet and you are already making moves on someone else? I could hear the hurt in his voice, but he also had an accusing tone and it pissed me off. How dare him! He was just pressing his lips to someone elses last night and

he wants to give me crap about telling someone else I wasnt his girlfriend anymore? Finally fed up with the pissing contest these two where having over me, I pushed through them. They both asked me where I was going and I spun on my heel and glared at them. Im leaving. Im not in the mood for bullshit tonight from either of you! I turned and made my way to the exit of Shots. I had made it to the parking lot before I realized I had ridden here with Jessi. I heard thunder, and lightning cracked across the sky as I stood beside Jessis locked car. Rain. Fucking great! I placed both hands on the roof of Jessis car and tried to control my emotions. Seeing Kane had be rougher than I thought it would. My

heart still fluttered when he was around. Funny thing since I knew it was broken. Kelsey can we talk? I didnt bother to look up. I knew who was standing behind me. Go away Kane. I. Do. Not. Want to talk to you, not now. Not ever. Kelsey! God damn it! Would you stop and talk to me! he shouted as he grabbed my elbow and turned me to face him, his gray eyes swirling with turmoil. Talk to you? What about, Kane?! Huh? You want to talk about how I knew I should have never taken the chance on you because I KNEW you would break my heart? You want to talk about how I cant stand to be near you because it hurts too damn much? Or do you want to talk about the fact

that you took my heart, and put it back together, only to smash it into a million pieces? I took a deep breath. Im completely and utterly broken now thanks to you. So, no, I wont talk to you! I could feel the tears welling, and before I could stop it, one fell down my cheek. I tried to break loose of Kanes hold so he couldnt see me cry; but who was I kidding, that arm was his until he decided to let go of it. Kels, if anyone is broken its me. He finally let go of my arm only to gently cup my cheeks into each of his hands. What happened last night is not what you think. You would know that if you will give me five minutes to explain. The storm in his eyes seemed to calm for a minute before it came back with a vengeance. He

immediately let go of my face and took a step back. But instead of talking to me about it, you come here and fuck around with Nate? Really, Kelsey? What are you even doing here tonight? I yelled at him. I wouldnt have come here had I known he would be working. I work here. Remember? But I mean what are you doing here now? I thought you were off tonight? Eddies kids are sick. His wife couldnt get out of work. So I said I would cover for him. Stop avoiding my question. What in the hell would make you do this to me? Of all people, you had to come here with Nate? I balled my hands into fists. He had no right to be asking me anything, so I

ignored his question and made an attempt to step around him but he grabbed hold of my arm, stopping me. Let go of my arm, Kane! I yelled and jerked my arm free from his grasp. This is all your fault! I screamed. The rain began pouring down on us. His black shirt became soaked through and was sticking to every inch of him, making it easy for me to see the muscles in his arms and chest twitch. He closed the short distance between us and looked right down into my eyes. My fault? Really? Thats rich, Kelsey, he sneered. My blood was boiling at that point. It was his fault! He was the one who couldnt keep his lips to himself! I was the fool who thought he could be true to me.

What are you trying to say? Thats its my fault?! I trusted you, Kane! I trusted you so much. You kissed Katie! You let me down you broke my heart. I hiccupped a sob. Im done playing these games, Kelsey. You say you trust me but then wont give me the chance to explain anything before you shut me out of your life and move on to the next person. His voice was hollow. It held no emotion anymore. I want you, Kelsey. I want you so damn bad, but its obvious I cant change your mind. I cant make you want me or love me. He turned and began walking away from me, straight to the stairs that led to his apartment. I had nothing left to say. I could no longer feel anything. Not the chill from the

rain, or my broken heart. So I just stood there in the rain and watched him go.

I finally decided standing there in the rain like an idiot would not help matters, plus I had the strangest feeling I was being watched, so I headed back in to Shots to find Jessi so we could leave. When I stepped inside, I began searching for Jessi, but I couldnt find her anywhere. She wasnt at the bar, I was searching the dance floor for her when someone stepped in my path. Nate. I really dont have time to talk, I said to him, still looking around the crowded dance floor for Jessi. Im trying

to find Jessi so I can go home. Have you seen her? I asked. When he didnt respond, I looked at up at him. He was staring at me with no expression on his face. His whole demeanor was beginning to scare me, so I made a step to go around him when he grabbed me and pulled me to his chest. I automatically tried to push off his chest, but he held firm and I was beginning to panic. I didnt like him holding me like. This wasnt the Nate I was used to. Let me go, Nate, I firmly said, hoping it would break through whatever haze was in. From day one I have been there for you, Kelsey. Day. One. Have I not? Why is it that you cant see what is right in front of you? I would treat you so good. So

damn good. You would want for nothing with me. Dont you realize that? I could see he was becoming agitated and I wildly scanned the room for Jessi. Where in the hell was she?! Nate, please, let me go and I promise you well talk about this. I tried to reason with him, but I could tell nothing I was saying was getting through. I couldnt smell alcohol on his breath, so I didnt know where this change was coming from. He had never even remotely acted interested in me as more than a friend. Do you know how much it kills me to watch you pine away after Kane? He spat Kanes name out as if it was a piece of garbage. I didnt like where this was going, and I needed to get awaynow. Youre too good for him, Kelsey. He

will never amount to anything. He doesnt even have parents. He would have been set if he hadnt screwed up any relationship that he had with his grandparents. And you see that he couldnt give up the women, even when he had something as good as you to call his. If you were mine, I swear, I wouldnt even be looking at other girls. My whole world would revolve around you. I would treasure you, Kelsey. He obviously didnt know about Kane and his grandparents reconciling, which now had me believing that he didnt know anything at all about Kane now. And I was pretty sure I had not told him the reason Kane and I were no longer together. It should have been you and me from the start. I didnt pursue you because I

thought you would be smart enough not to fall for Kanes shit, but you see now, dont you? You see how he deceived you and how he could so easily forget about you when it came to Katie. Now that youre not burdened by him anymore, we can give us a shot, though. I can show you how it feels to be spoiled and pampered. He smiled, but it had a disturbing edge to it now, and made my stomach turn. You are quick to forget, Nate, that you havent asked me what I want, and I dont want those things. Not with you, not with anyone! Im not the type of girl who can be bought into a relationship. You would have known that if you were really my friend, I hissed at him, then something else he had said sank in and I glared at

him, I never told you that I caught Kane with Katie. I never told anyone besides Jessi, and I am pretty sure she never told anyone. I jerked my body one last time, which broke the hold he had on me, and I turned to run and find Jessi. I made my way toward the back where the bathrooms were, still glancing over my shoulder to see if Nate was following me. I didnt see him, but I also didnt see him standing where I had left him on the dance floor. All the hair on my body stood on end. I needed to find Jessi and I needed to get out of here and away from him. I pulled out my phone and began typing out a text to Jess. I knew if I couldnt find her, she would at least get my text. Big trouble. Need you now. Nate is a psycho. Meet me at the bathroom.

There, now all I would need to do is wait by the bathrooms for her and then we could leave and I could forget about this whole mess. What the hell was that?! Had I given Nate the impression somewhere along the way that I was interested in him as more than a friend? Looking back I didnt think I had, so I didnt know what tonight was all about. I was looking down at my phone, willing it to chime with a text from Jessi, when someone grabbed me from behind. The person who had me placed one hand over my mouth, and knocked my phone out my hands with the other. Shh, we are just going to go talk, Nates voice hissed in my ear. You cant just walk away from me, Kelsey. No one

disrespects me like that. Now youre going to keep real quiet. Youre not going to put up a fight and youre going to come with me. I started to shake my head no when I felt a sharp poke in my side. I wasnt stupid, I knew what it was. It was a knife. The bastard pulled a knife on me. Please dont make me hurt you, Kelsey. I dont want to hurt you. I just need to talk to you. To make you understand, but know this, if you cause a scene I will hurt you and if I cant hurt you I will hurt the people you care about. Do you understand? I began to panic. Where was Jessi? Had he already gotten to her? There was nothing else I could do. I couldnt take a chance on him hurting anyone else, so I

nodded to let him know I would do whatever he wanted. Good. Now we are going to slip right out this door over here. Come on. He began pulled me to the back exit of Shots. I heard the door open and I felt a rush of wind. I looked around at the bar full of people, and no one seemed to notice what was going on. At the last minute I spotted Kane. He was standing tall above the other as if he was looking for something. I was praying he would glance my way and see what was happening but he never did and the door to Shots slammed shut along with any hope I had that someone would save me. He dragged me around the corner to where his car was. The rain had finally stopped, but there was now a fog drifting

along the ground. I could still feel the knife poking at my side so I tried not to put up too much of a fight. I obviously didnt know Nate as well as I thought I did, so it was hard to say what he was capable of and I didnt want to chance pushing him too far, so I went willingly. He opened the drivers side door and leaned down to my ear. Climb in this side. Im going to take my hand off your mouth to let you do this. Please dont make me do something we both will regret. I nodded and he released the hold he had on my mouth. I crawled my way across the drivers seat and into the passengers seat. This wasnt an easy feat to do, because he drove a small sports car. The thought had crossed my mind to

make a run for it while he climbed in, but I was already so cramped in the tiny car that I knew I would get tripped up in my attempts, and he would end up catching me and then there was no telling what he might do. So I thought to myself, maybe if I played along long enough, he would finally let me go. We had been friends or so I thoughtmaybe if I could get him to remember the friendship, he would be less likely to hurt me in the end. Nate climbed in and started the car. Where are you taking me? I asked him. He turned his head and smiled. Just somewhere to talk, Kelsey. We need to talk about this. I need you to understand where Im coming from. He put the car in drive and pulled out of Shots onto the main road.

He headed in the opposite direction of the college, toward a part of town I had never been to. The street lights became fewer and farther in between, as did the houses and businesses. He was taking me somewhere where no one would be able to bother us or find me, and I began to panic. Nate, really we can talk about this back at school, or maybe over a cup of coffee tomorrow morning when youre not so worked up. I was pleading with him. I didnt want to get to the destination we were headed, because I wasnt sure I would make it back. No. We are going to talk about this tonight and I have to get you away from all the noise and people that might cloud your judgment, he said as he turned on his

signal light and took a left onto a dark street. Through the darkness I could see a large mass, and as we got closer, I saw that I was an old abandoned building. What is this place? I asked as he slowly pulled the car to a stop. Just an old building my father owns. Its been closed for years and sometimes the frat comes here to party when we dont want to get in trouble with the university. He popped open his door and stepped out. With the help of the security lights, I could see him motioning for me to get out when he stepped in front of the car. I guess he figured there was no way I would run now, and he was right. Where would I even go? The last house we had passed was a good ten minutes back the other way. I was going to have to ride this out

and hope for the best. I slowly opened my door and stepped out, and took in the big dark building. Some of the windows were busted out, and it had the obvious graffiti that abandoned buildings seemed to accumulate over time. Dont worry. Its a lot better than it looks. We have lights and old couches inside. I told you, the frat uses this pace to party sometimes. He smiled. He obviously had no clue that I didnt want to be here, that I didnt want to be out here alone, with him. He began walking to the doors of the building, but turned to glare at me when I made no attempt to follow. He said nothing as he pulled the knife from his pocket, the blade glinting in the light from

the headlights of the car. I gulped as I took a step closer to him. He reached out and grabbed my hand, roughly pulling me closer to him. We are just going to talk, Kelsey. He smiled, but I couldnt fake a smile back. Nate pulled me inside the dark building. He let go of my hand long enough to plug in some security lights. The room flooded with the harsh lighting, and I could see that the walls were splattered with paint and more graffiti. There were a couple of old, worn couches and chairs spaced sparsely throughout the room, and huge sets of speakers in each corner. This place screamed squatter party house. I wrapped my arms around my torso, hugging my body. Nate, please take me home, I begged him. I didnt want to be

here. I wasnt sure what Nate was capable of anymore. Nate crossed the room to stand before me, he wrapped his hands around my upper arms. Kelsey, I told you. We have to talk first. Then I will take you home. A door slammed and both our heads turned to see who it was. I was elated at first because I thought finally someone had come to rescue me. But the person I found in the doorway was anything but a rescuer. It had been six years since I had come face to face with him, but I would remember those cold eyes anywhere. Who the fuck are you? Nate let go of my arms and turned toward the person standing in the doorway. I would be that pretty little thing you have theres father. My dads deep voice

echoed throughout the room chilling me to the bone. His face was hollow. He was much thinner than the last time I had seen him in the courtroom, but he still held this aura about him that screamed dangerous. Oh, Sir, we were just out here talking. Nate began to stutter. He didnt know anything about my past and what my dad had done. He probably thought my dad was here to save me. But now, more than ever, I knew I was never going to make it out of this old, dirty building alive.

My father held up one hand to silence anything else Nate had to say. He was staring straight at me with and ugly snarl on his face. My, my, how you have grown, my dad said as he walked along the wall, circling me like a wild animal stalking its prey. How did you get out? I asked. My voice barely about a whisper. You would know if you would have been at the hearing a few months ago, sweet pea. He grinned like the Cheshire

Cat. I shook my head. This wasnt possible. He was supposed to never get out that place. I was supposed to never have to face him again. Whats wrong? Not happy to see daddy? he asked as he pulled a black handgun from his back. My whole world stopped when he brought the gun up and pointed it straight at me. I closed my eyes. I heard the explosion of the shot and waited to feel the burn of the bullet piercing my skin. But it never came. I opened my eyes to see that my dad still had the gun pointed at me but Nate was no longer standing beside me. Instead he was lying on the floor, unconscious and bleeding from his abdomen.

Immediately I dropped to my knees and pressed my hand over his wound to try to stop some of the blood from flowing out of his body. Get up! my father screamed, startling me and causing me to fall back on my butt. I said, GET UP! The gun rattled in his shaking hand as he pointed it at me. I scurried to stand, but I couldnt stop watching the blood flow from Nates stomach. He skin was turning paler by the second. It was all your fault, you know. I looked at my dad. All of it. Everything that ever happened to her was your fault. We were fine before you came along. We were happy. Then she found out she was pregnant with you, he spat the word you like it was the most disgusting thing in the

world to him. I tried to talk her out of having you. I wanted her to have an abortion. She was MINE! I didnt want to share her with anyone, but she threatened to leave me and raise you on her own, and I couldnt let that happen. I couldnt let her go. So I let her have you as long as I could keep her. He paused for a minute, as if he was reflecting back on the memories. She loved you more than she did me. Thats why I did the things I did to her. She wasnt supposed to love anyone more than me. I loved her so much, his voiced cracked on his last sentence, and I wanted to throw up. How could he beat her and treat her the way he did, if he loved her? I had always known my dad was evil, but I didnt know

he was a lunatic. How did you get out? I asked him again. He chuckled. Smart thinking on your old mans part when I ran back in the house and planted that knife on your mother. I knew eventually they would believe my story about self-defense and have my conviction overturned. I just had to wait and find a lawyer that wasnt a complete moron to represent me. He smiled, clearly proud of his victory. It was more difficult to find you when I got out, than I thought it would be. Changing your name. That was clever. I didnt do it to hide from you! I wanted no reminder that you even existed! I screamed at him, causing him to stalk over to me and slap me in the face.

I can see that six years has not been long enough for you to learn some damn respect! he yelled at me, and I spit the blood that was pooling in my mouth onto his shoes. This enraged him and he tackled me to the ground. I fought against him, and in the struggle I felt a tug at my wrist and then a pop. My charm bracelet. I glanced at my wrist and could see it was no longer there. I started blindly slinging my fists in the air, hoping to connect somewhere on his face. He was stronger than me though, and grabbed my wrists in his hands before forcing them to the ground above my head. He then held them together with one hand while his other hand came down to grasp my throat. I immediately struggled to pull

air into my lungs. I could feel my eyes bulging with panic as I bucked my body to try to throw him off, but it was no use. I was going to die. And I was going to die just like my mom had. I wouldnt give him the satisfaction of looking me in the eye as I died, though, so I looked anywhere in the room but at him. My eyes eventually fell on the door to the warehouse. I wasnt sure if it was the lack of oxygen my brain was getting, but I could see Kane standing there. He put his finger to his lips in a Shh motion. I glanced at my father who was concentrating so hard on me that he didnt see Kane come storming into the room. Kane hit my father with his body. Tackling him like some pro football player. When my throat was clear of my

fathers grasp and I was able to breathe again, I scurried to stand. My dad and Kane were still rolling around on the floor in a struggle. I couldnt tell who was getting the best of who but then I saw the glint of metal in the light and I knew my father still had the gun. Kane! Watch out he has a The bang from the gun stopped any other words from leaving my throat. The commotion from the two of them ceased and I waited for what seemed like eternity for one of them to move. No! I screamed when my father stood and I caught sight of Kane lying on the ground bleeding. You bastard! Youre next, sweet pea. He raised the gun and pointed it at me again. This time I wouldnt close my eyes. I wanted him to

see how much loathed him before he killed me. But right as my dads finger rested on the trigger Kanes arm shot out, knocking my father s feet out from underneath him. When my father fell to the ground, his gun flew from his grasp and landed at my feet. I hurried and picked it up, and pointed it at where he now knelt in front of me. Kane was no longer conscious. He laid behind my dad, still bleeding, with his eyes closed. The fear that he might already be dead ripped through my body as I placed my finger on the trigger. My dad looked up at me. No fear in his eyes and said, You dont have it in you. You were always a coward. Thats why you did nothing to stop me that night from killing your mom.

Anger and hatred toward this man took over my every sense. It was now becoming so clear to me that everyone was right. HE had killed my mom. Not me. He was the evil one. I hate you, I said to him as I pulled the trigger and shot him square in the chest. His body fell back onto the floor. He blank eyes staring at the ceiling. I dropped the gun on the floor and rushed over to Kane. His eyes were still closed and his shirt was soaked in blood. I lifted his head to cradle it in my lap. Tears streaming down my face as I held him. Im so sorry, Kane. Im so sorry I came into your life and caused so much damage. Kanes eyes fluttered open and he

looked at me. I laid my hand on his cheek that was becoming cold from the amount of blood he was losing. I love you. I dont care about what happened with Katie. I love you so much. Please hold on. Please dont die on me. Stay with me. Kane slowly lifted his hand and rested it against my cheek. I didnt kiss Katie like you think I did. She kissed me. I pushed her away a few second after our lips touched, but I guess you had already turned away. Im sorry, Kelsey. Im sorry I didnt just tell you right away. You were mad and I wanted to give you time to cool off before I approached you again. Then I saw you dancing with Nate tonight, and I thought I had already lost you. He coughed and a tiny trail of blood ran from the corner of his mouth down his cheek.

Kane, please dont talk anymore. Save your strength. Im going to go see if I can find you some help. I started to lift his head from my lap but he stopped me. Called police before I came, he struggled. Found Jessi at bar said she had a text about Nate. He coughed again and more blood ran down the side of his face. Knew he would bring you here. Called police, he finished and his eyes closed. No, Kane! Wake up! Stay with me! I begged him through my sobs. His eyes fluttered open to look at me. I love you, Kelsey Rien. He said as he closed his eyes one last time.

I traced the name that was carved in stone over and over. It had been too long since I had been hereto my mothers grave. Kane stood a few feet behind me, letting me have a moment with her. I didnt like that he was standing back there like that. After the shot he had taken a few weeks ago, the doctors said he should be resting, but he insisted on coming here with me today. I loved him for that. He had almost lost his life trying to rescue me from my dad. I thought for sure he would bleed out

before the paramedics could get him to the hospital. They had rushed him into emergency surgery to repair the damage the bullet had caused to his most vital organs. It was touch-and-go a few times, but he had managed to pull through. Nate hadnt been as lucky as Kane. His injuries were far worse than the ones Kanes had encountered and he had bleed to death before the police had even gotten there. I would carry the guilt of Nates death with me forever, just as I had my moms. Nate hadnt been completely crazy. He was just spoiled and used to getting whatever he wanted, and what he wanted was me. I brought the evil that had taken Nates life right to him. My father had been after me and he was willing to end anyone who

got in the way of that. Nate taking me just so happened to present the perfect opportunity for my father to strike. I miss you, mom, I whispered and I traced the date, seven years exactly now. When she first died, I felt like I would never be able to truly be happy again. How could I, after the way I had lost her? I glanced over my shoulder at Kane, the right side of his mouth pulling up into a smile, causing that adorable dimple to sink deep into his cheek when it did. He slowly approached me, then knelt down beside me at my moms tombstone. I laid my head on his shoulder and he took my wrist in his hand. I looked up at him, not sure what he was doing until I felt a coolness being draped across my wrist. When I looked down, I found a charm

braceletno, not a charm bracelet. My charm bracelet. Tears immediately pooled in my eyes and I struggled to speak. I dont understand. How did you get this? I choked out. I was sure it had been lost when it was broken that night, but sure enough, here it was every charm there, plus one. I picked at the new charm, and Kane leaned in close. That one is from me. I know this was something from your mom, and I will completely understand if you want to take it off, but the jewelry store I had taken the bracelet to, to have it repaired, had this charm and after everything I couldnt help but take it as a sign that you were meant to have that charm.

I softly caressed the tiny dandelion with my fingertip. It was perfect. All this time the dandelion had represented my mom, and our longing to be set free from my dad, but it now also represented Kane. He had been the one to set me free, like the trapped dandelion seeds, all I needed was one tiny puff of air. Kane was my air. I looked at him and thanked God that I hadnt given up when I wanted to. That I chose to keep going even when it hurt too much. I was more certain now, than ever, that everything I had ever been through; I had been through for a reason. Because in the end, it had led me straight to him, to Kane. Straight to the one person who could help me find myself again. The person that would make me breathe again.

THE END

First and foremost I have to thank my husband, who has encouraged me to go after something that I never thought I would do. He has pushed me and made me believe in myself when I felt like giving up. Always cheering me on reassuring me that people would love Breathe into Me. I love you J. My 2 beautiful babies. They may be 6 and 4 years old but they understood mommy was writing a book and would give me a few quite hours out of the day to work on it. What more could I ask for? I

love you K & G! My sister Nikki for making me write Breathe into Me. Through her I developed my love for reading when I borrowed her Twilight books. When we were at a loss for the next book to read she suggested I write one. I never thought I actually would though. Thank you sister for reading every little piece I sent you and being there for me when I had my panic attacks about releasing. ;) To my best friend Molly. There are no words really. I cannot thank you enough for all you have done for me throughout this journey. I dont think I would have ever really gotten to this point in my journey without you! Im forever grateful and thankful for our friendship! <3 you so hard!

Janessa thank you for believing in me and BIM from the start and taking the time to read every little bit and piece I would randomly send you! There are a few authors that have shared my pages and my teasers and helped me gain the following that I have. You know who you are and I need you to know that from the bottom of my heart I will never be able to thank you enough for the support you have shown a newbie like myself. It means more to me then you will ever know! The blogs and bloggers that have supported me from day one, this book goes to you! Bloggers do not get the credit and acknowledgement for all the work that they do enough! Authors would be nowhere without bloggers!

Kim, Holly, Cris you have been there for me and pimped me from the day I made my pages for BIM. Thank you ladies! I <3 you so much! Stacey B. and Nichele R. Thank you girls for reading BIM and helping me watch for my goof ups and being completely honest with me about my story! I appreciate it so much! Tiffany F. and Heather C. you took the time to read BIM it its beginning stages to give me some honest feedback. Thank you girls! To the newbie authors that have been on this journey with me never give up! Look how far we have all come. Im proud of you. Im proud of me. If you believe in yourself enough you can make it happen! <3

When Amanda Stone is not writing she plays wife and mom to two wild kidlets. She lives in the beautiful state of Kentucky where she is a diehard University of Kentucky Basketball fan. At the end of the day when she is done being super mom you can find her curled up with a heating pad reading a good book. Friend her on Facebook www.facebook.com/amandastoneauthor Follow her on Twitter @AmandaStone_x

Goodreads www.goodreads.com/author/show/6622810 Email author.amandastone@gmail.com Playlist for Breathe into Me can be found on the authors Spotify. Find Amanda Stone on Spotify and subscribe! Amandas next book, Bittersweet, can be found on Goodreads. COMING Winter 2013.

Table of Contents
Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen Chapter Eighteen Chapter Nineteen Chapter Twenty Chapter Twenty-One Chapter Twenty-Two Chapter Twenty-Three Chapter Twenty-Four Chapter Twenty-Five Chapter Twenty-Six Chapter Twenty-Seven Epilogue Acknowledgments About the Author