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Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

If women didnt exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. I like my whisky old and my women young.

Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one.

Most women are not as young as they are painted.

What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.

From 40 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 40 feet away.

I love women. Theyre the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, thats fine.

Women: Cant live with them, cant bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.

To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.

A womans mind is cleaner than a mans Thats because she changes it more often.

No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

Id much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.

When a woman behaves like a man, why doesnt she behave like a nice man ?

Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: This looks much better on. On what? On fire?

Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, curre nt account, confidence, and good standing among your friends.

The mans desire is for the woman; but the womans desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man

What is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing.

A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.

Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions.

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.

A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.

Women are an alien race set down among us.

Women cant live with em cant shoot em.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good? Luckily, this is not difficult.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

Theres two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised.

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.

I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. Its the good girls men should be warned against.

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one timetheyre gone.

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

Show me a woman who doesnt feel guilt and Ill show you a man.

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

When women kiss it always reminds me of prize fighter shaking hands.

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, shell tell anything.

Love Quotes and Sayings


If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they dont, they never were. Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship never.

You dont love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, its what you are expected to give which is everything.

Love builds bridges where there are none.

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimesjust be an illusion.

The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me.

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

Love is like the sun coming out of the clouds and warming your soul.

Life without love is like a tree without fruit.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

A lawful kiss is never worth a stolen one.

Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age.

The greatest thing youll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

Only love lets us see normal things In an extraordinary way.

Theres always room for love; You just have to move a few things around.

Love means never having to say youre sorry.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

Flirting Quotes and Sayings


Come live in my heart, and pay no rent. Its not my fault that I fell for you, you tripped me!

Flirting is the art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

I would fly you to the moon and back if youll be . . . if youll be my baby.

All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.

Flirtation: attention without intention.

Flirting is the art of keeping intimacy at a safe distance.

Oops! I lost my mobile number! Could I have yours?

Are you lost maam? Because heaven is a long way from here.

I have had a really bad day today and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you please smile for me?

If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life.

Youre so sweet theres a wanted poster for you at the candy store.

Let make it short and simple, I love you.

Im an organ donor, need anything?

You remind me of my next girlfriend.

My friend wants to know if you think Im hot

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?

Beauty is power and a smile is its sword.

Its okay .. you dont have to stop staring .. that just means youre interested.

Did the sun just come out or did you just smile at me?

If nothing lasts for ever, will you be my nothing?

A woman will flirt with anyone in the world as long as other people are looking on.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet but nothing compared to you.

Single and looking anyone wanna be found?

Cant wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful everyday.

Can I borrow a quarter?

-What for?

I want to call my mother and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

Are you tired? Because youve been running through my mind all day.

Every night I go home crying because Ill have to wait until tomorrow to see you again.

Hi, Im Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me?

Alcohol Quotes and Sayings


Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. An alcoholic is someone you dont like who drinks as much as you do.

Dont drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Youre not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on .

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and dont drink too much. Then again, dont drink too little.

Time is never wasted when youre wasted all the time.

One reason I dont drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.

I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholics best friend !!!!

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me.

The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.

I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.

Reality is a crutch for people who cant handle drugs.

There is a devil in every berry of the grape.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

I drink to forget I drink.

I would take a bomb, but I cant stand the noise.

Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.

Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesnt hold water.

The first glass is for myself, the second for my friends, the third for good humor, and the forth for my enemies.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

The whole world is about three drinks behind.

I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

America Quotes and Sayings


In America any boy may become President and I suppose its just one of the risks he takes. The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.

How often we fail to realize our good fortune in living in a country where happiness is more than a lack of tragedy.

Americas one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.

I like America, just as everybody else does. I love America, I gotta say that. But America will be judged.

America is a tune. It must be sung together.

I love America more than any other country in this world; and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.

America is a nation with many flaws, but hopes so vast that only the cowardly would refuse to acknowledge them.

This country will not be a good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a good place for all of us to live in.

What the people want is very simple. They want an America as good as its promise.

An American is a man with two arms and four wheels.

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing after theyve tried everything else.

England and America are two countries separated by the same language.

America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar, and use it up in two weeks.

When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white man came, an Indian said simply, Ours.

If anyone attempts to hall down the American flag shoot him on the spot.

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

Sometimes people call me an idealist. Well, that is the way I know I am an American. America is the only idealistic nation in the world.

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.

The United States is the only country with a known birthday.

Not merely a nation but a nation of nations.

Ours is the only country deliberately founded on a good idea.

We need an America with the wisdom of experience. But we must not let America grow old in spirit.

The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth.

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but wont cross the street to vote in a national election.

America is the greatest, freest and most decent society in existence. It is an oasis of goodness in a desert of cynicism and barbarism. This country, once an experiment unique in the world, is

now the last best hope for the world.

There is nothing wrong with America that the faith, love of freedom, intelligence and energy of her citizens cannot cure.

Only Americans can hurt America.

America is a young country with an old mentality.

In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is. That is what makes America what it is.

America will never run And we will always be grateful that liberty has found such brave defenders.

By heritage and by choice, the United States of America will make that stand.

Whats right about America is that although we have a mess of problems , we have great capacity intellect and resources to do some thing about them.

In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.

Anger Quotes and Sayings


A man is about as big as the things that make him angry. We boil at different degrees.

Anger is what makes a clear mind seem clouded.

There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.

Never write a letter while you are angry.

No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.

Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.

Beware the fury of a patient man.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

One who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.

He who angers you conquers you.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech youll ever regret.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

Get mad, then get over it.

You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.

When anger rises, think of the consequences.

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.

A man is measured by the size of things that anger him.

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.

Anger is one letter short of danger.

Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding.

When a man is wrong and wont admit it, he always gets angry.

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.

Anger is short-lived madness.

Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.

Baby Quotes and Sayings


A new baby is like the beginning of all things, hope, a dream of possibilities. A baby is an angel whose wings decrease while his legs increase.

Children reinvent your world for you.

A baby is a blank cheque made payable to the human race.

A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.

A baby is born with the need to be love and never outgrows it.

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.

The hardest job facing kids today is to learn good manners without seeing any.

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last.

Every new born baby is Gods opinion that the world should go on.

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bank balance smaller, home happier, clothes dirty, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.

Babies are such a sweet and nice way to start people.

Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit. They hold the baby and I go out.

A baby is an in-estimable blessing and a bother.

Every child born into the world is a new thought of God, an ever fresh and radiant possibility.

Babies are always more trouble than you thought and more wonderful.

The worst feature of a new born baby is to have his mothers singing.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually dont have any.

I dont know whether they should say You have a baby Or The baby has you.

When I was born I was so surprised I couldnt talk for a year and a half.

All babies need a lap.

Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

Stop trying to perfect your children, but keep trying to perfect your relationship with them.

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.

Baseball Quotes and Sayings


When they start the game, they dont yell, Work ball. They say, Play ball. Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too.

The best possible thing in baseball is winning the World Series. The second best thing is losing the World Series.

I dont want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.

I swing big, with everything Ive got. I hit big or I miss big. I like to live as big as I can.

Managing is like holding a dove in your hand. Squeeze too hard and you kill it, not hard enough and it flies away.

Baseball is the only thing beside the paper clip that hasnt changed.

You dont save pitchers for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.

The saddest day of the year is the day baseball season ends.

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.

Pitchers, like poets, are born not made.

I dont care how long youve been around, youll never see it all.

When we played softball, Id steal second base, feel guilty and go back.

You owe it to yourself to be the best you can possible be in baseball and in life.

When you step into the batters box, have nothing on your mind except baseball.

It aint over till its over.

I remember one time going out to the mound to talk with Bob Gibson. He told me to get back behind the batter, that the only thing I knew about pitching was that it was hard to hit.

Baseball is a game of inches.

In baseball, you cant kill the clock. Youve got to give the other man his chance. Thats why this is the greatest game.

A hitters impatience is the pitchers biggest advantage.

Its hard to win a pennant, but its harder losing one.

More than any other American sport, baseball creates the magnetic, addictive illusion that it can almost be understood.

Baseball is the only place in life where a sacrifice is really appreciated.

Dont look back. Something might be gaining on you.

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the wo rld cant get you off.

Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.

I didnt get over 1300 walks without knowing the strike zone.

I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.

The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love.

It aint like football. You cant make up no trick plays.

There is no room in baseball for discrimination. It is our national pastime and a game for all.

Any person claiming to be a baseball fan who does not also claim to have invented the quickest, simplest and most complete method of keeping score probably is a fraud.

I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks in batting practice.

My pitching philosophy is simple keep the ball way from the bat.

A baseball manager is a necessary evil.

You cant hit what you cant see.

Looking at the ball going over the fence isnt going to help.

Hitting is timing. Pitching is upsetting timing.

People ask me what I do in winter when theres no baseball. Ill tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spri ng.

A hot dog at the ballgame beats roast beef at the Ritz.

Baseball is religion without the mischief.

All baseball fans can be divided into two groups: those who come to batting practice and the others. Only those in the first category have much chance of amounting to anything.

You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time.

Hitting is 50% above the shoulders.

Beauty Quotes and Sayings


Beauty lies in the specific looks of a person, rather than the object, because different people feel beauty in differnt things. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.

For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it.

Poetry lifts the veil from the hidden beauty of the world, and makes familiar objects be as if they were not familiar.

Beauty is one of the rare things that do not lead to doubt of God.

Im tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin -deep. Thats deep enough. What do you wantan adorable pancreas ?

It is not sufficient to see and to know the beauty of a work. We must feel and be affected by it

Beauty seen is never lost, Gods colors all are fast.

When a woman isnt beautiful, people tell her : You have lovely eyes, you have lovely hair.

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.

Beauty is not real. Beauty only exists in perception.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.

Beauty Parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.

The beauty of male has not yet been portrayed by the only one who can do so-the female.

By plucking her petals, You do not gather the beauty of the flower.

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

She was a beauty in her youth a fact which she alone remembers.

Best Friend Quotes and Sayings


A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walk out. - Walter Winchell

A best friend shares the good times and help you out by listening during the bad times.

Ones best friend is oneself.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

- Bernard Meltzer

Best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.

- Elbert Hubbard

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

- Anais Nin

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.

Never explain yourself. Your friends dont need it and your enemies wont believe it.

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldnt jump with them, Id be at the bottom to catch them.

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.

- John Leonard

There is nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends.

One who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

A friend is a gift one give oneself.

- Robert Louis Stevenson Good friends are like stars. You dont always see them, but you know they are always there.

My best friend is the one who brings out the best of me.

- Henry Ford

The medicine of life is to have true faithful friends.

True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.

A best friend can tell you things you dont want to tell yourself.

Lots of your friends want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

- Oprah Winfrey

The best mirror in the world is an old friend.

A true friend is someone you can disagree with and still remain friends.If not, they werent true friends in the first place.

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.

A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should.

True friends are very difficult to find, hard to leave, and impossible to forget.

A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Hold a true friend with both your hands.

A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.

- Jim Morrison

When you look around and your world is crumbling or when you think no one loves you, your best friend is the one to run to you.

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you dont say.

A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half cracked.

Thick and thin, tall and small, fast and slow. Tell me who is always there for you. I am sure you know. Your best friend, of course, dont let him or her go

Bible Quotes and Sayings


Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellers there is safety. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and never succeed.

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

And you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.

Wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

He that has pity on the poor lends to the Lord.

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.

The truth shall make you free.

The testimony of the Lord is sure making wise the simple.

Now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women.

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

The ear tests words as the tongue tastes food.

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.

But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night.

In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

He who sits in the heavens shall laugh.

You were united to your wife by the Lord. In Gods wise plan, when you married, the two of you became one person in his sight.

Birthday Quotes and Sayings


Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents and only one for birthday presents, you know.

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me.

Today is the yesterday you worried about tomorrow.

From our birthday, until we die, Is but the winking of an eye.

May you live all the days of your life.

The best birthdays of all are those that havent arrived yet.

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of you to the wo rld.

Hope your Birthday gently breezes into your life all the choicest of things and all that your heart holds dear Have A Fun- Filled Day.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a womans birthday but never remembers her age.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing Happy Birthday.

Youth is a disease from which we all recover.

The most effective way to remember your wifes birthday is to forget it once.

Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.

Break Up Quotes and Sayings


A break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it. No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, youll never get through it without your friends.

Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.

It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye.

Take away love and our earth is a tomb.

- Robert Browning Relationships are like glass. Sometimes its better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

The heart was made to be broken.

- Oscar Wilde Just give me time and Ill get over you.

Everyone tells me I should forget about you, you dont deserve me. Theyre right, you dont deserve me, but I deserve you.

When you break up, your whole identity is shattered. You are no longer alive.

I dont miss him, I miss who I thought he was.

Its hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was Youll never find anyone like me again! Im thinking, I should hope not! If I dont want you, why would I want someone like

you

Sometimes the person you really need is the one you didnt think you wanted.

Moving on is simple, its what you leave behind that makes it so difficult.

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

The pain of having a broken heart is not so much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live.

If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.

The scars you cant see are the hardest to heal.

- Astrid Alauda

Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours.

Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up.

As soon as forever is through, Ill be over you.

- Toto Theres a girl in my mirror crying tonight, and theres nothing I can say to make her feel all right.

I was born the day I met you, lived a while when you loved me, died a little when we broke apart.

The worst way to love someone is to sit next to them, knowing they dont love you back.

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.

- Lamartine I dont want to keep being the girl that keeps crying about the same things.

You dont realize how much you care about someone until they dont care about you.

I wish you werent in my dreams.

If you cant save the relationship, at least save your pride.

Christmas Quotes and Sayings


Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.

Theres nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.

Christmas, my child, is love in action.

A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world!

If there is no joyous way to give a festive gift, give love away.

Selfishness makes Christmas a burden, love makes it a delight.

A Christmas shoppers complaint is one of long -standing.

Christmas day is a day of joy and charity. May God make you very rich in both.

Do give books religious or otherwise for Christmas. Theyre never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.

The only blind person at Christmas time is he who has not Christmas in his heart.

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.

The best Christmas of all is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up with one another.

Christmas is the keeping-place for memories of our innocence.

Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide open heart that thinks of others first.

It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.

Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.

A little smile, a word of cheer, A bit of love from someone near, A little gift from one held dear, Best wishes for the coming year

These make a Merry Christmas!

We make a living by what we get but we make a life by what we give.

Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind; Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small.

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.

I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.

Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.

He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree.

Remember this December, that love weighs more than gold!

At Christmas play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year.

Every time we love, every time we give, its Christmas.

Clever Quotes and Sayings


A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it. A clever man commits no minor blunders.

How clever you are, my dear! You never mean a single word you say.

I am so clever that sometimes I dont understand a single word of what I am saying.

Its good to be clever, but not to show it.

God is clever, but not dishonest.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

Clever people master life; the wise illuminate it and create fresh difficulties.

They have to be clever, cunning, imaginative, dogged and wily, whereas society merely has to lean its weight a little.

To be clever enough to get all that money, one must be stupid enough to want it.

Clever men are good, but they are not the best.

Clever people will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness.

Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.

Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

If youre not very clever you should be conciliatory.

Two things are infinite : the universe and human stupidity; Im not sure about the universe.

Money cant buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Patience is not a virtue, it is a waste of time.

A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns.

Nothing shows a mans character more than what he laughs at.

Pressure makes diamonds.

Between thought and expression lies a lifetime.

You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.

Coffee Quotes and Sayings


A cup of coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent. Chocolate, men, coffee some things are better rich.

Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised.

Caffeine isnt a drug, its a vitamin !!

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee s frothy goodness.

Coffee has two virtues: its wet and warm.

Espresso is to Italy, what champagne is to France.

I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.

Coffee is not my cup of tea.

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.

My blood type is coffee.

All the coffee in Columbia wont make me a morning person

Coffee in England is just toasted milk.

There has never been a better office communication system than the coffee break.

I dont have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine.

Mothers are those wonderful people who can get up in the morning before the smell of coffee.

Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.

Retirement is one great big giant coffee break.

On the eighth day God created coffee.

Dont criticize my coffee. You may be old and weak one day.

Is there life before coffee? There is NO life before coffee. There is life AFTER coffee !!

Coffee in England always tastes like a chemistry experiment.

If youll excuse me a minute, Im going to have a cup of coffee.

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

No questions until Ive had my second cup of coffee!

Dont drink coffee in the morning. It will keep you awake until noon.

I make serious coffee so strong it wakes up the neighbors !!!!!!!!

Cowboy Quotes and Sayings


If you get thrown from a horse, you have to get up and get back on, unless you landed on a cactus; then you have to roll around and scream in pain. A cowboy is a man with guts and a horse.

It is easier to get an actor to be a cowboy than to get a cowboy to be an actor.

Dont squat with your spurs on.

Never slap a man whos chewing tobacco.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

Shirts that cost more than a weeks worth of groceries are like horseshoes that cost more than a horse

We all got pieces of crazy in us, some bigger pieces than others.

Boots, chaps and cowboy hats. nothing else matters.

An onion can make people cry but theres never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

Lettin the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin it back.

I took to the life of a cowboy like a horse takes to oats.

Save money on the bull, ride a cowboy.

Its the bulls and blood, dust and mud, and th e roar of a Sunday crowd.

Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.

Whoever said a horse was dumb, was dumb

When youre throwin your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

It dont take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Aint nothin like ridin a fine horse in new country.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.

Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat.

If you get to thinking youre a person of some influence, try ordering somebody elses dog around.

The cowboy is a patriot.

You can tell a true cowboy by the type of horse that he rides.

The cowboy must never shoot first, hit a smaller man or take unfair advantage.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse.

Always take a good look at what youre about to eat. Its not so important to know what it is, but its critical to know what it was.

Cute Sayings
No guy is worth your tears & the one who is wont make you cry. The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.

The worst way to miss someone, is to have them sitting right next to you & you know you can never have them.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheaper than medicine

Alter your attitude and you can alter your life.

All kids are gifted; some just open their packages earlier than others.

Men are like roses, watch out for all of the pricks.

Suicide is away of telling God, You cant fire me I quit !!!!!

Life is a lesson youll learn it when youre through.

Win as if you were used to it, lose as if you enjoyed it for a change.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. Thats why we call it the present.

Adults are just kids with money.

In order to be someone, you must first be yourself.

The worst kind of love is the one when you want someone but you know you cant have them.

If love isnt a game, then why are there so many players ?

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.

Dont waste your time on a guy that isnt willing to waste his time on you.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Count your age with friends but not with years.

Nothing improves the memory more than trying to forget.

Insanity is hereditary you get it from your kids.

A person who never makes mistakes never makes anything.

If you think you can, you can. And if you think you cant, youre right!

Never look back unless youre planning to go that way.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Half of the people in the world are below average.

If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were alwa ys yours. If they dont, they never were.

The best proof of love is trust.

Where there is great love, there are always wishes.

Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

Anyone can hate. It costs to love.

Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.

Having nothing, nothing can you lose.

Dont drown the man who taught you to swim.

Facebook Status Quotes


I like kids, but I dont think I could eat a whole one. I used to be schizophrenic, but were all right now.

I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen.

Who says Im not in shape? Rounds a shape, isnt it?

I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.

My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.

47% of all statistics are worthless.

Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (and in a big font)!

Im clea[ni.ng m'y' ke]yb36oa;rd.

James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.

Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! Im better at it.

Steven is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that Steven may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if Steven is right for you.

Josh thinks that if your relationship status says, Its complicated that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to Single

Jessie took the Are you spending too much time on Facebook quiz and the result is No You should spend much more time. Jessie shot the computer.

Cleo really wishes she could but, Im attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.

Linda notices that nobody ever says, Its only a game when their team is winning.

Lauren lives vicariously through herself.

Neal is nealing the neally neal with the help of his close neal.

Liz is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.

Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.

Sonia has found love in facebook. She is from Bangladesh and vhan day vill reesh amehica.

Claire is disturbed by abominable quadrupeds.

Sara couldnt myself have better it said.

James is for external use only. See your doctor before administering.

Erick is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore Im perfect.

Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but its better that I smoke thi s and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.

Jack will update his Facebook status for money!

Ruby says its been a business doing pleasure with you.

Ian just found out that they took the word gullible out of the dictionary!

James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They dont expect to be paid back.

Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?

Jolene understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.

Failure Quotes and Sayings


Failure is only a temporary change in direction to set you straight for your next success. Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.

Our business in life is not to succeed, but to continue to fail in good spirits.

If there exists no possibility of failure, then victory is meaningless.

A failure is a man who has blundered but is not capable of cashing in on the experience.

Remember, no man is a failure who has friends.

One must be a god to be able to tell successes from failures without making a mistake.

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.

Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.

The only real failure in life is the failure to try.

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.

Lifes real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.

Success builds character, failure reveals it.

There are no failures just experiences and your reactions to them.

Failure is the tuition you pay for success.

A man may fall many times, but he wont be a failure until he says that someone pushed him.

Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.

You cannot do wrong without suffering wrong.

He who fails to plan, plans to fail.

Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.

Notice the difference between what happens when a man says to himself, I have failed three times, and what happens when he says, I am a failure.

I have not failed. Ive just found 10,000 ways that wont work.

Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.

Fate Quotes and Sayings


I do not believe in fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in fate that falls on them unless they act. Fate leads the willing, and drags along the reluctant.

Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try.

If you cant change your fate, change your attitude.

Fate is not quite as strange as it appears.

What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate.

Mans character is his fate.

Every individual has a place to fill in the world, and is important, in some respect, whether he chooses to be so or not.

Chance is a word void of sense; nothing can exist without a cause.

Fate everything happens for a reason. And when fate happens look for the good in it as it is there.

Everything comes gradually at its appointed hour.

Fortune never crushed that man whom good fortune deceived not.

Do not worry about the future for it is not yet come. Live each day in the present and make it beautiful.

Fate is for those too weak to determine their own destiny.

Throw a lucky man into the sea, and he will come up with a fish in his mouth.

A true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate.

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.

The fate of a nation has often depended upon the good or bad digestion of a prime minister.

Every man has his own destiny: the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him.

Destiny has two ways of crushing us. by refusing our wishes and by fulfilling them.

Each man is the architect of his own fate.

Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.

It is a fundamental error to try to subject our own fate at call costs to our will. Our will is a function regulated by reflection; hence it is dependent on the quality of that reflection.

When fate hands us a lemon, lets try to make a lemonade.

He cannot complain of a hard sentence, who is made master of his own fate.

Find something you love to do and youll never have to work a day in your life.

Now is the dramatic moment of fate, Watson, when you hear a step upon the stair which is walking into your life, and you know not whether for good or ill.

Things and actions are what they are, and the consequences of them will be what they will be; why then should we desire to be deceived ?

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.

The man of the past is alive in us today to a degree undreamt of before the war, and in the last analysis what is the fate of great nations but a summation of the psychic changes in individuals ?

Fate is not an eagle, it creeps like a rat.

I do not know beneath what sky nor on what seas shall be thy fate; I only know it shall be high, I only know it shall be great.

The future was with Fate. The present was our own.

Resolved to take fate by the throat and shake a living out of her.

Friendship Quotes and Sayings


A friend is someone who is there for you when hed rather be somewhere else. Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.

The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.

- Abraham Lincoln Friends are Gods way of taking care of us.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.

Friendship isnt a big thing its a million little things.

A road to a friends house is never long.

Ive always said that in politics, your enemies cant hurt you, but your friends will kill you.

- Ann Richards

Count your age with friends but not with years.

One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.

A true friend sticks with you through thick and thin no matter what.

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.

- Henry David Thoreau

An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.

When a friend is in trouble, dont annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

- Edgar Watson Howe

Friendship is love without his wings!

- Lord Byron

Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows.

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.

- Euripides When you die, if youve got five real friends, then youve had a great life.

True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side.

If I had to sum up friendship in one word, it would be comfort.

- Terri Guillemets

Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still like you.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

- Walter Winchell

True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.

- Charles Caleb Colton

Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise.

Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life.

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.

- Aristotle

To be depressed is to be lonely; to have a friend is to be happy.

Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart.

In my friend, I find a second self.

- Isabel Norton

Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you.

Your friends are what will matter in the end.

Friendship Quotes and Sayings


A friend is someone who is there for you when hed rather be somewhere else. Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.

The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.

- Abraham Lincoln

Friends are Gods way of taking care of us.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.

Friendship isnt a big thing its a million little things.

A road to a friends house is never long.

Ive always said that in politics, your enemies cant hurt you, but your friends will kill you.

- Ann Richards

Count your age with friends but not with years.

One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.

A true friend sticks with you through thick and thin no matter what.

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.

- Henry David Thoreau

An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.

When a friend is in trouble, dont annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

- Edgar Watson Howe

Friendship is love without his wings!

- Lord Byron

Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows.

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.

- Euripides When you die, if youve got five real friends, then youve had a great life .

True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side.

If I had to sum up friendship in one word, it would be comfort.

- Terri Guillemets

Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still like you.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

- Walter Winchell

True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.

- Charles Caleb Colton

Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise.

Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life.

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.

- Aristotle

To be depressed is to be lonely; to have a friend is to be happy.

Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart.

In my friend, I find a second self.

- Isabel Norton

Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you.

Your friends are what will matter in the end.

Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings


My wife hasnt had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of . Lord -only-knows Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

Age is something that doesnt matter, unless you are a cheese.

Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

When I turned two I was really anxious, because Id doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time Im five Ill be 64.

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.

When I was born I was so surprised I didnt talk for a year and a half.

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I cant speak for my twin sister.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a womans birthday but never remembers her age.

Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

After 30, a body has a mind of its own.

If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.

Im at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood aroun d and sang, Happy Birthday.

Looking fifty is great if youre sixty.

The best birthdays of all are those that havent arrived yet.

Just remember, once youre over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty -seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Birthdays are natures way of telling us to eat more cake.

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

Old age isnt so bad when you consider the alternative.

If Id known I was going to live this long, Id have taken better care of myself.

There is still no cure for the common birthday.

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.

Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings


Golf is a funny game and today seemed to go my way, so it was nice to get off to a good start. It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.

If you watch a game, its fun. If you play it, its recreation. If you work at it, its golf.

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you cant see him laughing.

Im not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, theyd come up sliced.

Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards ?

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyones golf game. Its called an eraser.

I know Im getting better at golf because Im hitting fewer spectators.

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.

Dont play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

Golf is a game, not a sport.

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.

What a shame to waste those great shots on the practice tee.

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

The uglier a mans legs are, the better he plays golf its almost a law.

I dont want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Lay off for three weeks, and then quit for good.

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it wouldve been a great shot.

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly 40 years to disco ver that I cant play it.

Youve just got one problem. You stand too close to the ball after youve hit it.

Ive had a good day when I dont fall out of the cart.

I realized that the secret to golf isnt how low you shoot when its going good, its how to make your bad rounds better.

Golf is not a game of good shots. Its a game of bad shots.

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you cant improve your lie.

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.

I dont need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course ?

Im the best. I just havent played yet.

If you think its hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

Goal Quotes and Sayings


A goal properly set is halfway reached. Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

What you get by achieving your goal is not as important as what you become by achieving your goal.

Go as far as you can see, and when you get there you will see farther.

An archer cannot hit the bullseye if he doesnt know where the target is.

Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, youll land amongst the stars.

A goal without a plan is just a wish.

Goals are dreams with deadlines.

An goal in life is the only fortune worth the finding; and it is not to be found in foreign lands, but in the heart itself.

A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, its better than no inspiration at all.

I know what I want to accomplish and I know how to get there. The ultimate goal is to be the best. Whether thats the best ev er, who knows ? I hope so.

Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life.

Make your life a mission.not an intermission.

Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings.

This one step choosing a goal and sticking to it changes everything.

Life is full of obstacle illusions.

Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity.

Think little goals and expect little achievements. Think big goals and win big success.

God gives us dreams a size too big so that we can grow in them.

The impossible is often the untried.

Do or do not. There is no try.

My goal is simple. It is complete understanding of the universe, why it as it is and why it exists as all.

To solve a problem or to reach a goal, youdont need to know all the answers in advance. But you must have a clear idea of the problem or the goal you want to reach.

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

There are two things to aim at in life; first to get what you want, and after that to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind has achieved the second.

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.

When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past.

What keeps me going is goals.

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.

The future you see is the future you get.

Goals should always be made to a point that will make us reach and strain.

Fear melts when you take action towards a goal you really want.

If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.

God Quotes and Sayings


As the poet said, Only God can make a tree probably because its so hard to figure out ho w to get the bark on. The feeling remains that God is on the journey, too.

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.

It is easy to understand God as long as you dont try to explain him.

Before God we are all equally wise and equally foolish.

Everyone ought to worship God according to his own inclinations, and not to be constrained by force.

If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke.

Mathematics is the language with which God has written the universe.

I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.

God makes three requests of his children : Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have, now.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

God thinks within geniuses, dreams within poets, and sleeps within the rest of us.

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

As to the gods, I have no means of knowing either that they exist or do not exist.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

When a man takes one step toward God, God takes more steps toward that man than there are sands in the worlds of time.

There are no accidents. Gods just trying to remain anonymous.

One reason God created time was so that there would be a place to bury the failures of the past.

If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken Him completely by surprise.

God is a thought who makes crooked all that is straight.

I myself do nothing. The Holy Spirit accomplishes all through me.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Goodbye Quotes and Sayings


Sometimes you have to let go of the one you love to find out if there is really something there. Every goodbye makes the next hello closer.

How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to.

Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?

You know that you are in love when the hardest thing to do is say good-bye!!

Where is the good in goodbye?

There are no good-byes, where ever we are, youll always be in my heart.

Being strong sometimes means being able to let go.

A good-bye is never painful unless youre never going to say hello again.

Life wouldnt be the same without you and all the memories you have givin me.

Sometimes you have to let go of the one you love to find out if there is really something there.

Its all said and done, its real, and its been fun.

I can tell by your tears that you will remember it all.

Dont be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before we can meet again and meeting again, after moments or a lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.

Its something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life.

The loss of a friend is like that of a limb. Time may heal the anguish of the wound, but the loss cannot be repaired.

It is the end of something simple and the beginning of everything else.

Dont cry because its over. Smile because it happened.

Im torn between what was and what could be.

Saying goodbye isnt the hard part, its what we leave behind thats tough.

We only part to meet again.

Until this moment, I never understood how hard it was to lose something you never had.

You never leave someone behind, you take a part of them with you and leave a part of yourself behind.

True goodbyes are the ones never said or explained.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Why are the words goodbye, Im sorry and I love you, so easily pronounced, but so hard to say?

A part of you has grown in me, together forever we shall be, never apart, maybe in distance, but not in the heart.

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.

The real genius for love lies not in getting into, but getting out of love.

The song is ended, but the melody lingers on.

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

There is a time for departure even when there is no certain place to go.

You are the weakest link goodbye!

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

I dont want to wake up and realize what I was dreaming was right in front of my shut eyes. I dont want to stop saying hello s for fear of saying goodbyes.

When I see your smile, and I know its not for me, thats when Ill miss you.

Graduation Quotes and Sayings


Education make a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive, easy to govern, but impossible to enslave. Graduating college in four years is like leaving a party at 10:30

The man who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow is uneducated the day after.

Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

The important thing is the educational experience itself how to survive it.

The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future.

To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act.

College professorsomeone who talks in other peoples sleep.

Education is the best provision for old age.

You know that point at your graduation ceremony where everyone throws their caps ? Isnt it gr eat that we all celebrate how smart we are by throwing sharp pointy objects in the air.

You can lead a boy to college, but you cant make him think.

We know what we are, but know not what we may be.

Knowledge will forever govern ignorance: and a people who mean to be their own governours, must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives.

Learning is like rowing upstream; not to advance is to drop back.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that individuality is the key to su ccess.

He who learns but does not think is lost. He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger.

Education is simply the soul of society as it passes from one generation to the next.

Horse Quotes and Sayings


A lovely horse is always an experience.. It is an emotional experience of the kind that is spoiled by words. To me, horses and freedom are synonymous .

To ride or not to ride? What a stupid question!

No philosophers so thoroughly comprehend us as dogs and horses.

Being born in a stable does not make one a horse.

Theres nothin in life thats worth doin, if it caint be done from a horse

There is just as much horse sense as ever, but the horses have most of it.

The child who ran weeping to you with a cut finger is now brought home, smiling gamely, with a broken collar bone and incredible contusions-it wasnt Jezebels fault, Dad.

A horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle.

I can make a General in five minutes but a good horse is hard to replace.

Show me your horse, and I will tell you who you are.

It is not enough for a man to know how to ride; he must know how to fall.

Horses lend us the wings we lack.

My dear, I dont care what they do, so long as they dont do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

A stubborn horse walks behind you, an impatient horse walks in front of you, but a noble companion walks beside you.

In riding a horse, we borrow freedom.

All horses deserve, at least once in their lives, to be loved by a little girl.

There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.

In buying a horse or taking a wife, shut your eyes tight and commend yourself to God.

There are only two emotions that belong in the saddle; one is a sense of humor and the other is patience.

If your horse says no, you either asked the wrong question or asked the question wrong.

Your horse can only be as brave as you are.

The horse is prepared against the day of battle: but safety is of the LORD.

The best color on a horse is fat.

No ride is ever the last one. No horse is ever the last one you will have. Somehow there will always be other horses, other places to ride them.

My horses are my friends, not my slaves.

There is no secret so close as that between a rider and his horse.

Whoever said a horse was dumb, was dumb.

The air of heaven is that which blows between a horses ears.

Ask me to show you poetry in motion, and I will show you a horse.

I found one way to fly; on the back of an airborne horse !!!

To know the Arabian horse is to love him.

And God took a handful of southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse.

Horses change lives. They give our young people confidence and self esteem. They provide peace and tranquility to troubled souls- they give us hope!

Steeds, steeds, what steeds! Has the whirlwind a home in your manes?

If I had a horse, Id ride off in the sunset, where dreams, and shadows lie. To a life, where pain and sorrow dont exist, and to where hopes, and dreams become reality.

A horse is the projection of peoples dreams about themselves -strong, powerful, beautiful-and it has the capability of giving us escape from our mundane existence.

A canter is a cure for every evil.

Sell the cow, buy the sheep, but never be without the horse.

Through the days of love and celebration and joy, and through the dark days of mourning-the faithful horse has been with us always.

Inspirational Quotes and Sayings


Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true. - Leon Joseph Suenens Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.

Everyday is a gift, thats why they call it the present.

Never regret. If its good, its wonderful. If its bad, its experience.

- Victoria Holt Inspiration and geniusone and the same.

The future depends on what we do in the present.

- Mahatma Gandhi Put your future in good hands your own.

If you only do what you know you can do you never do very much.

- Tom Krause

Whatever you are be a good one.

- Abraham Lincoln Find something you love to do and youll never have to work a day in your life.

Misery is almost always the result of thinking.

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.

- Jimmy Johnson

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.

There are three words I like to repeat to myself: glass half full. Just to remind myself to be grateful for everything I have.

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no.

Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.

- Ralph Marston Dont waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door.

Wherever you go, go with all your heart.

- Confucius

You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

- Christopher Columbus

Happiness is the best face lift.

Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat.

- Ann Landers

Think of the beauty still left around you and be happy.

If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, youll never enjoy the sunshine.

- Morris West Whether you think you can or think you cant, youre right.

- Henry Ford

I never need to see the sun again, there enough light in your eyes to light up all the world.

People can live one hundred years without really living a minute.

Live your life in the manner that you would like your kids to live theirs.

- Michael Levine

No Matter what you do there will be critics.

There is dignity in suffering; nobility in pain; but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

- Woody Allen

A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.

Try and fail, but dont fail to try.

- Stephen Kaggwa

Many say I am just one to try. I say I am one less to quit.

- Diego Marchi

Insult Quotes, Insulting Sayings


Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. I dont know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldnt have given you worse advice

Hi there, Im a human being! What are you?

Your village just called. Theyre missing an idiot.

Shouldnt you have a license for being that ugly?

Im sorry, Im a little busy. Can i ignore you later?

Id agree with you, but then wed both be wrong.

Dont let you mind wander its far too small to be let out on its own.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyones feelings unintentionally.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

You cant fix stupid.

And I thought I had problems? Look at your face!

Sure, Ive seen people like you before but I had to pay an admission.

If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, Id love to help you outnow, which way did you come in?

The most effective comeback to an insult is silence.

Brains arent everything. In fact in your case theyre nothing.

Id love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you cant count that high.

I have met a lot of hard boiled eggs in my time, but youre twenty minutes.

All day I thought of you.I was at the zoo.

If you cant ignore an insult, top it; if you cant top it, laugh it off; and if you cant laugh it off, its probably deserv ed.

- J. Russell Lynes

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

If youre gonna be two faced.. at least try to make one pretty.

Dont hate me because Im beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.

He doesnt know the meaning of the word fear but then again he doesnt know the meaning of most words.

For the love of God, do you at least remember what you were doing the day they were passing out common sense?

I wont insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone.

If brains were taxed, youd get a rebate.

Even rabbits insult an dead lion.

There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble.

Youre so fake, Barbie is jealous.

An injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult.

Never insult an alligator until youve crossed the river.

I may be fat, but i can exercise, you cant fix ugly!

They just ran out of brains by the time you got there, so they gave you a nice wood carving instead.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

Never insult anyone by accident.

Well, they do say opposites attractso I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and culture d.

To force a man to pay for the violation of his own liberty is indeed an addition of insult to injury.

Lawyer Quotes and Sayings


The good lawyer is the great salesman. He is not a lawyer who cant take two sides.

A lawyer is a learned gentleman who rescues your estate from your enemies and keeps it himself.

Good lawyer is a bad neighbor.

A lawyer without books is like a workman without tools.

Make crime pay. Become a Lawyer.

If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.

No brilliance is required in law, just some common sense and relatively cleaner fingernails.

America is the paradise of lawyers.

A Lawyer can do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.

Hundred men with thier guns can steal as much as a lawyer with his briefcase can.

Laws should be like clothes. They should be made to fit the people they serve.

Divorce is one of the game that lawyers play.

Lawyers are always more ready to get a man into troubles than out of them.

Whoever tells the best story wins.

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place.

A countryman between two lawyers is just like a fish between two cats.

If there wasnt a penalty for laughing in court, the jury would never be able to hear the evidence.

A good lawyer is a great liar.

It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.

Sometimes even lawyers need lawyers.

Judge A law student who marks his own examination papers.

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke.

Only painters and lawyers can change white to black.

Life Quotes and Sayings


You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough. Life isnt worth living unless youre willing to take some big chances and go for broke.

- Eliot Wiggington

The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.

- Ben Stein Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while youre in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

God, if I cant have what I want, let me want what I have.

And in the end, its not the years in your life that count. Its the life in your years.

Our lives are like a candle in the wind.

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.

- Grandma Moses

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit.

- Kahlil Gibran

The purpose of life is a life of purpose.

- Robert Byrne Life is what happens to you while youre busy making other plans.

- John Lennon I love my past. I love my present. Im not ashamed of what Ive had, and Im not sad because I have it no longer.

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.

- Danny Kaye

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.

A life without cause is a life without effect.

- Barbarella

Life resembles a novel more often than novels resemble life.

- George Sand

Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you.

Man who waits for roast duck to fly into mouth must wait very, very long time.

In spite of the cost of living, its still popular.

- Kathy Norris

Our own life is the instrument with which we experiment with the truth.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

- Albert Einstein I hope life isnt a big joke, because I dont get it.

- Jack Handey There is only one success to be able to spend your life in your own way.

- Christopher Morley

May you live all the days of your life.

Missing You Quotes and Sayings


Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love. I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you.

Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.

Each time I miss you, a star falls down from the sky. So, if you looked up at the sky and found it dark with no stars, it is all your

fault. You made me miss you too much!

Life is so short, so fast the lone hours fly, We ought to be together, you and I.

A day without you is like a day without sunshine I miss you

When I see your smile, and I know its not for me, thats when Ill miss you.

A hug for you means I need you. A kiss for you means I love you. A call for you means Im missing you.

Im a fish out of water without you.

Its true we dont know what weve got until its gone, but we dont know what weve been missing until it arrives.

Love is missing someone whenever youre apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because youre close in heart.

I miss your love I miss your touch, But Im feeling you everyday.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

Love reckons hours for months, and days for years; and every little absence is an age.

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.

Cause I love you and I miss you, hearing your voice is the closest thing to touching you.

I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you.

Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too.

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.

You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back.

You may be out of my sight but never out of my mind I Miss You!

Although weve come to the end of the road, still I cant let you go, its unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you .

When I miss you, I dont have to go far I just have to look inside my heart because thats where Ill find you.

I think we dream so we dont have to be apart so long. If were in each others dreams, we can play together all night.

I heard someone whisper your name, but when I turned around to see who it was, I was alone. Then I realized that it was my

heart telling me that I miss you. When I miss you, sometimes I listen to music or look at pictures of you, not to remind me of you but to make me feel as if I m with

you. It makes me forget the distance and capture you. Nothing hurts more then waiting since I dont even know what Im waiting for anymore.

To me you are my rose; every day when I see a beatiful rose I think of you, and miss you, and hope to hold you in my arms.

Can miles truly separate you from friends. If you want to be with someone you love, arent you already there?

Why is it that when you miss someone so much that your heart is ready to disintegrate, you hear the saddest song on the radio?

Past Quotes and Sayings


One reason God created time was so that there would be a place to bury the failures of the past. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

May the dreams of your past be the reality of your future.

The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.

Genealogists live in the past lane.

I like men who have a future and women who have a past.

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.

One must always maintain ones connection to the past and yet ceaseles sly pull away from it.

You cant change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future.

Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

Every past is worth condemning.

If we open a quarrel between the past and the present, we shall find that we have lost the future.

Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter.

The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or to escape what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it.

Always choose the future over the past. What do we do now ?

I dont think of the past. The only thing that matters is the everlasting present.

There is a way to look at the past. Dont hide from it. It will not catch youif you dont repeat it.

If past history was all there was to the game, the richest people would be librarians.

No hand can make the clock strike for me the hours that are passed.

To what a degree the same past can leave different marks-and especially admit of different interpretations.

We cannot let the past cloud our perception of the future.

I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.

The farther behind I leave the past, the closer I am to forging my own character.

The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.

I think that we honor ourselves by honoring our past.

The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present

Who controls the past controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.

The past is a work of art, free of irrelevancies and loose ends.

Its in vain, Trot, to recall the past, unless it works some influence upon the present.

Ones past is what one is. It is the only way by which people should be judged.

Perfection Quotes and Sayings


Perfection is the child of time. Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

The true perfection of man lies not in what man has, but in what man is.

Imperfection clings to a person, and if they wait till they are brushed off entirely, they would spin for ever on their axis, advancing nowhere.

Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.

The condition of perfection is idleness: the aim of perfection is youth.

All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.

It is only imperfection that complains of what is imperfect. The more perfect we are the more gentle and quiet we become towards the defects of others.

True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

Perfection of means and confusion of goals seem-in my opinion-to characterize our age.

No one becomes perfect, but some become great.

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men.

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.

No one is perfect thats why pencils have erasers.

A designer knows he has achieved perfection, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

Fix your eyes on perfection and you make almost everything speed towards it.

The pursuit of perfection, then, is the pursuit of sweetness and light.

Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people cant accept your imperfections, thats their fault.

The principal mark of a genius is not perfection but originality, the opening of new frontiers.

Everything is perfect in the universe even your desire to improve it.

No good work whatever can be perfect, and the demand for perfection is always a sign of a misunderstanding of the ends of art.

Perfection is our goal, excellence will be tolerated.

A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault.

Perfect is determined in shortened measures of time, not over long periods of time or lifetimes. It would be unnatural.

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.

Only mediocrity can be trusted to be always at its best.

This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfection.

Be intent on the perfection of the present day.

The more perfect a thing is, the more susceptible to good and bad treatment it is.

I dont confuse greatness with perfection. To be great anyhow isthe higher achievement.

All things excellent are as difficult as they are rare.

Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.

Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything.

Pirate Quotes and Sayings


Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates. Life on the Mississippi The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great-grandfather was a pirate.

Heathens dont amount to shucks alongside of pirates, to work a camp-meeting with. Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

A love pirate ? I am no love pirate. What do they mean by that ?

It was a great experience for a kid, because it was a bunch of kids playing on pirate ships and water slides, so looking back on it, it was the fondest experience of my childhood.

You will always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow Pirates of the Caribbean

There is more treasure in books than in all the pirates loot on Treasure Island.

Lifes pretty good, and why wouldnt it be? Im a pirate, after all.

You are without a doubt the worst pirate Ive ever heard of. Pirates of the Caribbean

And dont they wear the bulliest clothes! Oh no! All gold and silver and diamonds, said Joe, with enthusiasm. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

Its not everyday you get to do a pirate movie, you might as well go for it.

Suddenly youre like a pirate, youre 65 years old and youve got an ear -ring.

My access to music when I was growing up was through pirate radio, you know, trans istor radio under the pillow, listening to one more and then just one more until your favourite track comes

on.

Merchant and pirate were for a long period one and the same person. Even today mercantile morality is really nothing but a refinement of piratical morality.

Ive been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, A poet, a pawn and a king; Ive been up and down and over and out, And I know one thi ng; Each time I find myself flat on my face, I pick myself up and

get back in the race

It is when pirates count their booty that they become mere thieves.

Where there is a sea there are pirates.

You can keep doing that forever, the dog is never going to move. Pirates of the Caribbean

The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man cant do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you cant. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so youll have to square with that some day. Pirates of the Caribbean

The existence of the sea means the existence of pirates.

Even pirates, before they attack another ship, hoist a black flag.

Racism Quotes and Sayings


Accomplishments have no color. To live anywhere in the world today and be against equality because of race or color is like living in Alaska and being against snow.

The white mans happiness cannot be purchased by the black mans misery.

Racism isnt born, folks, its taught.

You dont fight racism with racism, the best way to fight racism is with solidarity.

Prejudice is the child of ignorance.

Racism is when you have laws set up, systematically put in a way to keep people from advancing, to stop the advancement of a people.

The African race is a rubber ball. The harder you dash it to the ground, the higher it will rise.

To like an individual because hes black is just as insulting as to dislike him because he isnt white.

Laundry is the only thing that should be separated by color.

Racial superiority is a mere pigment of the imagination.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

Excellence is the best deterrent to racism.

Racism is mans gravest threat to man the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason.

Racism has been an integral component of American culture since its founding upon the genocide of Native Americans, and the forced slavery of Africans and Afro-Americans.

Religion Quotes and Sayings


We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. Thats my religion.

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.

If God doesnt like the way I live, let him tell me, not you.

I believe in God, but Im not too clear on the other details.

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.

Among politicians the esteem of religion is profitable; the principles of it are troublesome.

Most peoples religion is what they want to believe, not what they do believe.

God has no religion.

Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst.

True religion is real living; living with all ones soul, with all ones goodness and righteousness.

Religion is the fashionable substitute for belief.

If you have two religions in your land, the two will cut each others throats; but if you have thirty religions, they dwell i n peace.

Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics.

Religion is to do right. It is to love, it is to serve, it is to think, it is to be humble.

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.

A religion without the element of mystery would not be a religion at all.

A good life is the only religion.

I fear one day Ill meet God, hell sneeze and I wont know what to say.

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful.

A fanatic is someone who cannot change his mind and will not change the subject.

Religion is the human response to being alive and having to die.

My religion is simple, my religion is kindness.

Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.

Religion is nothing else but love to God and man.

One mans religion is another mans belly laugh.

The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.

Religion is a pill best swallowed without chewing.

I considered atheism, but there werent enough holidays.

A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.

Men will wrangle for religion, write for it, fight for it, die for it, anything but live for it.

Superstition is to religion what astrology is to astronomy; the mad daughter of a wise mother.

Religion Quotes and Sayings


We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. Thats my religion.

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.

If God doesnt like the way I live, let him tell me, not you.

I believe in God, but Im not too clear on the other details.

There is only one religion, though there are a hundred versions of it.

Among politicians the esteem of religion is profitable; the principles of it are troublesome.

Most peoples religion is what they want to believe, not what they do believe.

God has no religion.

Of all bad men religious bad men are the worst.

True religion is real living; living with all ones soul, with all ones goodness and righteousness.

Religion is the fashionable substitute for belief.

If you have two religions in your land, the two will cut each others throats; but if you have thirty religions, they dwell i n peace.

Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics.

Religion is to do right. It is to love, it is to serve, it is to think, it is to be humble.

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.

A religion without the element of mystery would not be a religion at all.

A good life is the only religion.

I fear one day Ill meet God, hell sneeze and I wont know what to say.

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful.

A fanatic is someone who cannot change his mind and will not change the subject.

Religion is the human response to being alive and having to die.

My religion is simple, my religion is kindness.

Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.

Religion is nothing else but love to God and man.

One mans religion is another mans belly laugh.

The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.

Religion is a pill best swallowed without chewing.

I considered atheism, but there werent enough holidays.

A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.

Men will wrangle for religion, write for it, fight for it, die for it, anything but live for it.

Superstition is to religion what astrology is to astronomy; the mad daughter of a wise mother.

Retirement Quotes and Sayings


Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked. Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard.

A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.

Retirement: Worlds longest coffee break.

Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

Retirement: Thats when you return from work one day and say, Hi, Honey, Im home forever.

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

Retirement is wonderful. Its doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them.

Life begins at retirement.

I will not retire while Ive still got my legs and my make -up box.

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.

Sooner or later Im going to die, but Im not going to retire.

To retire is to begin to die.

Im retired goodbye tension, hello pension.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

Old soldiers never die, they merely fade away.

Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap.

The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money.

Im now as free as the breeze with roughly the same income.

A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. We tell em to get a life.

The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Retirement: Its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement .

Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man cant retire his experience. He must use it.

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.

When I retire Im going to spend my evenings by the fireplace going through those boxes. There are things in there that ought to be burned.

There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working

The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income.

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.

When you see some people work you wonder what theyll do in retirement.

Sad Quotes and Sayings


Usually when people are sad, they do nt do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change. Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but its the middle that counts the most.

Dying seems less sad than having lived too little.

However long the night, the dawn will break.

Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad.

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

Behind my smile is everything youll never understand.

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, It might have been.

Theres nothing more depressing than having it all and still feeling sad.

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.

I had rather have a fool make me merry, than experience make me sad.

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

Nobody really cares if youre miserable, so you might as well be happy.

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.

Sadness flies away on the wings of time.

- Jean de La Fontaine I didnt want to admit it. It was easier to lie. Hide the hurt and empti ness to smile instead of cry.

A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.

I dont know if Im getting better or just used to the pain.

The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy.

We ask God to forgive us for our evil thoughts and evil temper, but rarely, if ever ask Him to forgive us for our sadness.

You can choose to be happy or sad and whichever you choose that is what you get. No one is really responsible to make someone else happy, no matter what most people have been taught

and accept as true.

Youll just never knowso many emotions I choose not to show.

Sarcastic Quotes and Sayings


If youre one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you. Dont be humble. Youre not that great.

I feel so miserable without you, its almost like having you here.

He was happily married but his wife wasnt.

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

If youre too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil.

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.

You were looking good from afar.. now youre far from looking good.

I like you. People say Ive got no taste, but I like you.

Are you sarcastic? Well no duh!

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.

We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.

Theres too much blood in my caffeine system.

I wont say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What Im going to be if I grow up.

Going to church doesnt make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Shut up, will you? Oh, Im sorry, Your Highness, should I go get you your coffee and tea now?

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.

Outside of a dog, a book is probably mans best friend, and inside of a dog, its too dark to read.

Im impressed, Ive never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.

Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Short Funny Quotes


I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it. Its not cheating unless you get caught.

Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. Ive done it dozens of times.

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.

I hope life isnt a joke, because I dont get it.

There is a light at the end of every tunnel.just pray its not a train!.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

Im knot a blonde! Im knot, Im knot, Im knot!

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

Ive got problem for your solution

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say Are you gonna drink that?

Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriends looks and vise versa.

Everyone has a photographic memory some just dont have film.

Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

When I was born I was so surprised I didnt talk for a year and a half.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?

Smile Quotes and Sayings


Smile dont frown Look up dont look down Believe in yourself Dont let yourself go Just be who you are And let your live flow. Im not a fighter. I usually smile and then go into my room and cry my eyes out.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

A smile confuses an approaching frown.

You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.

If youre not using your smile, youre like a man with a million dollars in the bank and no checkbook.

Even if I am in a bad mood I have to smile and be nice to the fans.

A smile is a language that even a baby understands.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Dont cry because its over, SMILE because it happened.

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.

Keep a smile on your face and let your personality be your autograph.

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.

If you havent seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you havent seen her smile her prettiest.

A smile of encouragement at the right moment may act like sunlight on a closed-up flower; it may be the turning point for a struggling life.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Ive got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when Im blue.

Smiles are great investments: the more you collect, the better you feel.

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesnt climb over it.

A smile takes but a moment, but the memory of it lasts forever.

A winning smile makes winners of us all.

Some people are too tired to give you a smile, so give them one of yours as no one needs a smile as much as the one who has no more to give.

A friendly look, a kindly smile, one good act, and lifes worthwhile.

Smile its the second best thing you can do with your lips.

To receive a smile, give one away.

The shortest distance between two people is a smile.

If I had a star for every time you made me smile, I would be holding the night sky in my hand.

So many languages in the world, and a smile speaks them all.

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. Thes e are but trifles, to be sure, but scattered along the lifes pathway, the good they do is inconceivable.

A smile is a light in the window of the soul, indicating that the heart is at home.

Smiles form the channel of a future tear.

Today, if a smile comes to you, a happy smile that perhaps you cant explain, its because in that moment I am thinking of you and smiling too.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. Source unknown A spark of kindness starts a fire of love.

No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggles through the tears.

Smoking Quotes and Sayings


Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholics best friend.

It is easier to stay out than get out.

Sooner or later, everyone stops smoking.

The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

A cigarette is the only consumer product which when used as directed kills its consumer.

I tried to stop smoking cigarettes by telling myself I just didnt want to smoke, but I didnt believe myself.

Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you cant find your cigarettes.

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I havent had time for tobacco since.

Cigarette: A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between.

To the average cigarette smoker the world is his ashtray.

Cigarettes are killers that travel in packs.

The best way to stop smoking is to carry wet matches.

Im not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.

Some things are better eschewed than chewed; tobacco is one of them.

To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because Ive done it a thousand times.

My smoking might be bothering you, but its killing me.

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

If we lose the battle against tobacco, we will lose the war against cancer.

If I cannot smoke in heaven, then I shall not go.

If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

Smoke your pipe and be silent; theres only wind and smoke in the world.

Smokers dont get to smoke. They have to smoke.

The only safer cigarette is your last one.

Soccer Quotes and Sayings


Soccer is not just about scoring goals its about winning. We lost because we didnt win.

If they are going to win this match, theyre going to have to score a goal.

Soccer is simple, but it is difficult to play simple.

Soccer is the ballet of the masses.

If you are first you are first. If you are second, you are nothing.

If you dont concede any goals youll win more games than you lose.

If youre attacking, you dont get as tired as when youre chasing.

As long as no-one scored, it was always going to be close.

Whoever invented soccer should be worshipped as a God.

I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in soccer.

Soccer is all very well as a game for rough girls, but is hardly suitable for delicate boys.

I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.

A million wouldnt buy him, and Id be one of them.

If you dont believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.

Its why we play the game. Anything is possible, anything can happen, and we proved that again tonight.

The more time you have, the more mistakes you will make.

We were a little bit outnumbered there, it was two against two.

Ive never wanted to leave. Im here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.

We didnt underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought.

I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.

The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesnt move, kick it until it does.

Hes one of those footballers whose brains are in his head.

My legs sort of disappeared from nowhere.

The Vision of a Champion is someone who is bent over, drenched in sweat, and the point of exhaustion, when no one else is watching.

Sometimes in soccer you have to score goals.

Every defeat is a victory in itself.

Soccer is the opera of the people.

The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.

If we played like that every week we wouldnt be so inconsistent.

Soccer is an art more central to our culture than anything the Arts Council deigns to recognize.

Winning doesnt really matter as long as you win.

The most important thing for a forward is speed of thought. Top players read the game.

The roots of our Soccer Tribe lie deep in our primeval past.

Sorry Quotes
Feeling sorry for yourself, and you present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn.

Saying sorry doesnt mean there isnt guilt and forgiving doesnt mean the pain is gone.

Doomed are the hotheads! Unhappy are they who lose their cool and are too proud to say, Im sorry.

Words will not be able to ever express how sorry I am for this, and I have profound regret and sorrow for the multitude of mistakes and harm I have caused.

I sort of feel sorry for the next man who gets me. I may just kill him with passion. Hed better be strong and have a good heart!

If youre going to do something tonight that youll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

More men are sorry for speaking, than keeping silence.

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

Vasectomy means not ever having to say you are sorry.

No one has the right to be sorry for himself for a misfortune that strikes everyone.

Love means never having to say youre sorry.

Being sorry is the highest act of selfishness, seeing value only after discarding it.

You may be sorry that you spoke, sorry you stayed or went, sorry you won or lost, sorry so much was spent. But as you go thro ugh life, youll find youre never sorry you were kind.

Play fair. Dont hit people. Say youre sorry when you hurt somebody.

Im sorry I cant speak very coherently.

Sorry Day falls on the eve of Reconciliation Week, giving us the chance to ask whether we are making progress in the wider challenge of reconciling Indigenous and other Australians.

I felt ashamed for what I had done. I dont have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldnt pawn this off on anybody. Im sorry it happened. And I

hurt people.

Being Politically Correct means always having to say youre sorry.

My wife heard me say I love you a thousand times, but she never once heard me say sorry.

I am sorry to say that I have those engaged with me in the service who are more savage than the savages themselves.

There is something so amiable in the prejudices of a young mind, that one is sorry to see them give way to the reception of more general opinions.

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.

Very sorry cant come. Lie follows by post.

I was very sorry when I found out that your intentions were good and not what I supposed they were.

Mostly I am sorry for the way I thought of other people. Like a good general, I had treated everyone who wasnt with me as ag ainst me.

I am sorry to upset my colleagues by saying we wasted four years in opposition, but if you do get so badly defeated as a party you do have to face up to some painful facts and you do have to

change.

In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry.

Stupid Quotes and Sayings


Its so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then dont say it. A lot of beautiful people are stupid. Theres a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good. Its frightening.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

Being stupid is its own reward

Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.

I say no to drugs, but they dont listen.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?!

The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet.

Sure, its going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and Im not sure about the former.

I have opinions of my own strong opinions but I dont always agree with them.

The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

Stop being so stupid.. its my turn.

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing

When your dad is mad and asks you, Do I look stupid? Dont answer him

You cant just let nature run wild.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am I am filled with humidity.

The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.

Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they dont compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

Stupid Quotes and Sayings


Its so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then dont say it. A lot of beautiful people are stupid. Theres a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good. Its frightening.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

Being stupid is its own reward

Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.

I say no to drugs, but they dont listen.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?!

The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet.

Sure, its going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and Im not sure about the former.

I have opinions of my own strong opinions but I dont always agree with them.

The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

Stop being so stupid.. its my turn.

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing

When your dad is mad and asks you, Do I look stupid? Dont answer him

You cant just let nature run wild.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am I am filled with humidity.

The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.

Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they dont compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.

Sweet Quotes and Sayings


It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage

The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.

Love waits for one thing, the right moment.

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched they must be felt with the heart.

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimesjust be an illusion.

You dont love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.

Drink to me only with thine eyes, And I will pledge with mine.

We can not do great things. We can only do little things with great love.

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

Where there is great love, there are always wishes.

My heart smiled when you kissed my lips. What a sweet surprise.

That it shall never come again is what makes life so sweet.

The truth is that life is delicious, horrible, charming, frightful, sweet, bitter, and that is everything.

Patience is bitter, but it bears sweet fruit.

It is terrible to be alone, and it is terrible to be in love, but one is cheaper than the other.

A man cannot reason with the woman he loves: he cares about her too much.

Dont hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love.

A woman either loves or hates; she knows no medium.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

There are some errors so sweet that we repent them only to bring them to memory.

Work like you dont need the money. Love like youve never been hurt. Dance like nobodys watching.

Love means never having to say you are sorry.

It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun.

Love is the compass of life.

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.

T-Shirt Quotes and Sayings


Im the person your mother warned you about. Im not as dumb as you look..

No sense in being pessimistic It wouldnt work anyway.

We should forgive our enemies, but only after theyve been taken out and shot.

Never kick a man unless hes down.

There is intelligent life on Earth, but Im just visiting.

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that youve got it made.

How can I love you if you wont lie down ?

I wear the brains in the family.

Theres no future in time travel.

Put on your seat belt I wanna try something.

Beat the 5 oclock rush Leave work at noon.

Im not unemployed, Im a consultant

Im sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

I dont have a license to kill. I have a learners permit.

Where theres a will I want to be in it.

All men are idiots And I married their king.

Alcohol and calculus dont mix. Never drink and derive.

My Dog Can Lick Anyone.

Out of my mind Back in five minutes.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

Theres too much blood in my alcohol system.

Smile, its the second best thing you can do with your lips.

A day without sunshine is like night.

Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

Do not disturb Im disturbed enough already.

The trouble with life is theres no background music.

I couldnt repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Im sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

Always remember youre unique Just like everyone else.

I dont have a license to kill. I have a learners permit.

If at first you dont succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

All men are idiots And I married their king.

In America Anyone Can Be President Thats One of the Risks You Take.

Alcohol and calculus dont mix. Never drink and derive.

No sense in being pessimistic It wouldnt work anyway!

Stop repeat offenders. Dont re-elect them!

I wear the brains in the family.

BEER Its not just for breakfast anymore.

Out of my mind Back in five minutes.

Theres too much blood in my alcohol system.

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDSBut it uses up a thousand times the memory.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Its hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

Whatever the questions is, Liquor Is The Answer

Your Boyfriend Thinks Im Hot.

Weapons Of Mass Distraction.

This is my drinking shirt.

I can resist everything except temptation.

Smile, its the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

Do not disturb Im disturbed enough already.

I dont know what makes you dumb But it really works.

Where theres a will I want to be in it.

Us blondes arent dumb.

Wasted All The Time.

Lifes Too Short To Date Ugly Women.

Blonde and proud of it.

Dont Annoy The Crazy Person.

Dont make me call out my Flying Monkeys.

Im with Stupid.

I dont need no Educashun.

Thank You Quotes and Sayings


No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks. Every time we remember to say thank you, we experience nothing less than heaven on earth.

I would thank you from the bottom of my heart, but for you my heart has no bottom.

The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.

I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks.

Thank you much more, Than a greeting can say, Because you were thoughtful, In such a nice way!

Gratitude is the best attitude. There is not a more pleasing exercise of the mind than gratitude. It is accompanied with such an inward satisfaction that the duty is sufficiently rewarded by the

performance.

The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.

One can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind.

Silent gratitude isnt much use to anyone.

Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say thank you?

How far that little candle throws his beams!So shines a good deed in a weary world.

Hem your blessings with thankfulness so they dont unravel.

I thank everyone that has caused me to suffer, without you I would have no reason to express myself.

Gratitude is the memory of the heart.

It isnt what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful, but what you have in your heart.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.

We cannot do great things on this Earth, only small things with great love.

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues.

If you cant be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped.

Its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice.

Just a thank you is a mighty powerful prayer. Says it all.

Victory Quotes and Sayings


We improve ourselves by victories over ourself. There must be contests, and you must win. In ourselves are triumph and defeat.

Individual glory is insignificant when compared to achieving victory as a team.

Victory is sweetest when youve known defeat.

If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.

Victory and defeat are each of the same price.

Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.

The moment of victory is much too short to live for that and nothing else.

Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.

Those who know how to win are much more numerous than those who know how to make proper use of their victories.

Be careful that victories do not carry the seed of future defeats.

The best policy is to declare victory and leave.

Who overcomes By force, hath overcome but half his foe.

The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.

Men talk as if victory were something fortunate. Work is victory.

Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

I look at victory as milestones on a very long highway.

The nerve that never relaxes, the eye that never blanches, the thought that never wanders, the purpose that never wavers these are the masters of victory.

Winning isnt everything, its the only thing.

The best victory is when the opponent surrenders of its own accord befo re there are any actual hostilitiesIt is best to win without fighting.

The greatest conquerer is he who overcomes the enemy without a blow.

Volleyball Quotes and Sayings


Once I got past my anger toward my mother, I began to excel in volleyball and modeling. Winners never quit and quitters never win.

We practice every day, either doing team stuff or working out as an individual. In the offseason we work out with weights, just trying to get stronger.

A lifetime of training for just ten seconds.

We dont have a World Series or a Super Bowl, so to be able to come home with a gold medal is amazing. I want to do it again in fou r more years.

If winning isnt everything, why do they keep score ?

Practice is The effort that makes winning possible.

Volleyball is the sport through which I am able to express my God-given talents of being an athlete. It is a sport which involves relating, pushing, and encouraging your teammates.

Actions speak louder than coaches.

Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.

Volleyball is my life, everything else is just details.

My wifeboyfriendhusbandgirlfriend OR volleyball? When do we play?

Sometimes, the best way you can find out about a player is what his fellow players have to say about him. An even better way to get a feel for a player is to see what he has to say about his

fellow players.

Its not whether or not you win or lose, its whether or not I win or lose.

A mere forty years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invente d it, and thats what freedom is all about.

It gives us a chance to be competitive in a friendly way.

Carnivorous volleyball, win or be eaten.

Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.

You cant win unless you learn how to lose.

Sports do not build character. They reveal it.

The setter, a hard working TALENTED volleyball player who receives NO GLORY!

They are very athletic and skilled players.

For every action there is an equal and opposite RETALIATION.

Lifes TOUGH and its gonna get worse AFTER I BEAT YOU!

You touch every other ball and, if you screw up, you only have one more person to back you up. You cant go hide in the corne r.

It takes a lot of hard work and dedication just like any pro sport. Especially for beach volleyball you do nt have to be tall or as fast as other sports. You just have to have the skills.

Title match game. Final Set. Down by two. Dig Deep.

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials

You weak spikin, no blockin,net servin,face diggin,no passing, 15 -0 losers.

Anyone serious about playing indoor, you should play outdoor.

Life is short, play hard

All it takes is a little sand and lots of balls.

Give it your all on the sprawl, Drop a pancake and keep it clean, Find the target, put em on the hook then dish it up, flare and catch some air, Check the set, bring some heat and watch them

bail!

Wedding Quotes and Sayings


To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever youre wrong, admit it; whenever youre right, shut up. In all of the wedding cake, hope is the sweetest of plums.

Marriagea book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

My Greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day

you loved each other the least.

Look down you gods, and on this couple drop a blessed crown.

Heres to the groom, a man who keeps his head though he loses his heart.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Heres to these beautiful bridesmaids.

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.

Its so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.

Love one another and you will be happy. Its as simple and as difficult as that.

Love is not singular except in syllable.

It took great courage to ask a beautiful young woman to marry me. Believe me, it is easier to play the whole Petrushka on the piano.

An anniversary says, Think of the dreams you have weathered together. They are intimate accomplishments.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that theyre on the same side.

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.

She knows all about me and loves me just the same.

May she share everything with her husband, including the housework.

Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we married.

Wise Quotes and Sayings


Knowledge talks, wisdom listens. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me ! Only the wisest and the stupidest of men never change.

Dont let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.

Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

Criticizing is easy, art is difficult.

Violence wont solve a thing. It makes it more challenging to solve, though.

I dont know what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.

When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.

Not to care for philosophy is to be a true philospher.

The mind is like a parachute. It doesnt work unless its open.

The best mind-altering drug is truth.

Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so.

- Lord Chesterfield Dont look where you fall, but where you slipped.

Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry.

- Henry Ward Beecher

A winner listens, a loser just waits until it is their turn to talk.

Guns dont kill people people do.

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

- Lao Tzu

If you are not part of the cure, then you are part of the problem.

The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them.

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

- Jonathan Kozel

The best things in life are not things.

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.

One should always play fair when one has the winning cards.

Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought.

Beware of a man of one book.

Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.

He who knows others is learned; he who knows himself is wise