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YOU ARE THE ONE YOURE LOOKING FOR: Relationship Tools, Reinvention Strate ies, !

"e#o$in Yo%r "est Yo%&

'ONTENTS
INTRO(U'TION )ART I RELATIONSHI) SA**Y +Tools,

'HA)TER - YOUR ATTRA'TION )RIN'I)LES..........-/

* What You Believe is What You Attract *Express Your Personal Style * Create Your Power Image * 7 Steps to p!scale Your Image *Coul" You use an Image #verhaul$ * %ow to &now What You Want * 7 'aws o( Attraction
'HA)TER 0 1HAT2S LO*E GOT TO (O 1ITH IT3....45

)he *ee"s %ierarchy + Yours , %is * Why You Shoul" 'earn to -rive * Are You .ea"y /or Your Prince$ *Being Single versus Being Alone
'HA)TER / O1N YOUR FE6ININE 6YSTI7UE........89

*Woman + A Wor0 o( Art * Your Image I"entity * Poise"1 Polishe" an" #n!Point *You Are a -esigner!#riginal1 ni2ue an" Special * I"enti(y Your Secret Weapon

'ONTENTS 'ONT2(
)ART II THE )O1ER OF REIN*ENTION +Strate ies,

'HA)TER 4 1HO (O YOU THINK YOU ARE3..........-:0

* n"erstan" the Purpose , Power o( Woman * As a Woman )hin0s333 *4etting to &now You * Are you a 'a"y!In!Waiting$ *5ove (rom )houghts )o Action * %ow Your Inner Image Shapes your #utsi"e Impact
'HA)TER ;

1HAT 6AKES YOU < YOU3 THE =OY OF SELF>(IS'O(IS'O*ERY.............-0/ *Who Am I$ Exercise * )ap Into )he Essence o( Y# %ow to Slay the Enemies Within * Are You a Sel(!Sa6oteur$ * Why Wise Women Win *Step #utsi"e Your Com(ort 7one YOU CAN REIN*ENT YOUR LIFE&...-;4 *Be the Change you See0 *8 Ways to )une Into your )rans(ormation *BE!-#!%A9E *Watch your -ream &illers * See0 the Wis"om o( Intention *You Can Co!Create Your Worl": *Your Personal 5ission Statement

'HA)TER ?

'HA)TER 8

YOUR "EST YOU < Enli htene@ A E$poBere@ A ECtraor@inarD...-50 5aximi;e Your 4ame * <= Characteristics o( Extraor"inary Personal Power * Em6race the 5agic , Brilliance within you *%one Your Personal 9alues System$ *Sel(!Con(i"ence ! )he *ew Sex Appeal

Chapter Five
What Makes You You? - The Joy of SelfDiscovery
>A woman can 6e two things? Who an" What she wants3@

'o#o 'hanel
>You get what you want1 not what you as0 (or@ Barbara Stanny, author Secrets of Six-Figure WomenE

He really pulled out all the stops that night!

The first

part of the evening Beverly didnt even pay any attention to him. She wasnt attracted to him that way. She didnt even remember how she happened to be in his apartment. She was, however, very attracted to what she perceived as his fabulous lifestyle.

His apartment stretched a full city block with a !th floor view overlooking "hicagos #ake $ichigan. The way he had orchestrated the evening was brilliant! The %aluha and "r&me flowed lavishly and eventually turned into white 'ussians with the addition of vodka. Somehow as the evening turned into night, what was originally a small gathering of friends, suddenly turned into (ust the two of them. )s she prepared to leave, he must have reali*ed her penchant for partying, and this allowed him to insist on one last drink in the intimate piano bar downstairs. He never gave an inkling that his plans did not include him being alone that night. There was no enlightened conversation to speak of + only cold white castle burgers at the bar and more white 'ussians. She had completely lost control of who she thought she was and what she was doing there, some three hours ago.

,t was the oldest scenario in the world. -et astoundingly drunk and end up in bed with a stranger. Beverly vividly remembered however, some two to three hours later, him hastily shaking her awake declaring the had an important meeting and had to leave + and so did she! She barely had time to dress in the clothes she had worn to work the day before, pat her hair and rush off to work. He didnt even offer her a toothbrush. )s he left her on the side walk in front of his lu.ury apartment, her dignity in tatters, Beverly reali*ed that it was a good thing that shed never see him again.

YouAve pro6a6ly hear" the ol" saying1 >clothes "onAt ma0e the man@3 )he 'esson that applies here is that what you see on the outsi"e Bluxury apartmentC provi"es a6solutely no clues to a personAs character1 integrity or his

plan (or you:

)hereAs a lot to 6e sai" (or a woman

learning how to thin0 li0e a man "oes3 ItAs o0ay to 6e (ascinate" 6y the prospect o( having a goo" time + 6ut itAs "um6 to 6e so impresse" with what a man chooses to show you1 while you lose yoursel( in the process3 )his man ha" a plan (rom the 6eginning o( the evening + 6ut Beverly "i"nAt reali;e it + nor "i" she have one o( her own3

)he Dourney towar" sel(!"iscovery is a spiritual one3 It lea"s you towar" "e(ining your purpose an" mission in li(e an" inventing or reinventing yoursel(1 i( necessary3

)o"ayAs woman plays a much more visi6le role in shaping our worl" than in the past3 An" it 6egins with "etermining your purpose3 -e(ining your purpose means

0nowing your passion1 an" i"enti(ying what you enDoy "oingEthen "oing it: %owever1 ac0nowle"ging your sel(! worth comes before purpose3 5any o( us spen" our lives su((ering (rom low sel(!esteem an" insecurity 6ecause we never come to reali;e our own sel(!worth3 When all is sai" an" "one1 ma0ing the most o( yoursel( is the most signi(icant purpose o( all3

Each o( us came with a prior "esign1 a 6lueprint that ena6les us to ma0e the most o( our possi6ilities3 You have 6een gi(te" 6y your Creator with unlimite" treasures o( a6ility speci(ically "esigne" an" tailore" to accomplish everything your 4o"!given purpose "eman"s3 You are e2uippe" with all you nee" in or"er to "o all you were create" to "o3

-o you 0now who you really are/

)ry the

(ollowing exercise to 0now more a6out yoursel( an" help you answer that 2uestion3 WHO AM I? EXERCISE se the rating scale on the .I4%) to rate yoursel( in all areas 6elow3
Rate Yo%rselF Fro$ - to -:
%ealthy <

Rea@D
F G H I 8

Not Rea@D
7 J K <=

Ratin S#ale
Coul"nAt Be Better

Sel(!con(i"ent Sel(!love Sel( Worth 'oving .elationships 4oo" Income Lo6 4rati(ication /inancial In"epen"ence )ime to EnDoy 'i(e Spiritually *urture"

So1 what "i" you learn a6out yoursel( in "oing this exercise$ Are you rea"y in some areas an" not rea"y in others$ Start GD #on#entratin on @evelopin those

oo@ H%alities in Bhi#h Do% are @eFi#ient. You will notice that the areas o( sel( worth1 sel(!love1 sel(! con(i"ence are in the top (our3 Sel(!con(i"ence is at the top o( the list right a(ter your health3

A con(i"ent woman is a sel(!su((icient woman who 6elongs to hersel(3 )he 6est way to "evelop the highest level o( sel(!con(i"ence is to learn to 6e a little 6it more sel(ish + not sel(!centere"1 6ut to ac0nowle"ge your uni2ueness an" reali;e that you are important3 )his all 6egins with "eveloping a assure" sel(!image3

I( the maDority o( your scores were in the Mnot rea"yA column1 that is1 (rom NI to N< you su((er (rom some lac0 in your li(e3 )he 6ottom line is1 i( you lac0 anything in your li(e that woul" ma0e your li(e whole an" complete i( you ha" it1 you are P##.3 *ow when I say P##.1 it has nothing to "o with having a goo" income or enDoying (inancial in"epen"ence3 )he 6i6lical wor" (or MpovertyA is the

4ree0 wor" MpoucousA3 )his wor" "oesnAt mean you "onAt have anything1 it means you arenAt doing anything3

Wise people say that having what we want (rom li(e is 2uite simple + Dust choose it3 But i( li(e really is that simple1 why havenAt most o( us alrea"y chosen to live the li(e o( our "reams$

Actually1 there are several proGaGle reasons why some have not chosen to have li(e 6e that goo"?

Who you are Being now is 6loc0ing that changeO

)he 2uality o( living "oes not (it in with your current reality conceptO

%aving your "ream come true is outsi"e the limits set 6y your sel(!worthO

You lac0 the courage an" the con(i"ence (or choosing outsi"e the 6oxO

What you want out o( li(e is outsi"e o( your com(ort ;one an" therefore1 so is the "evelopment1 growth an" enlightenment that woul" allow you to know who you are an" to have what you want3

ItAs a har" lesson that anything you want that you "onPt now have1 can only 6e (oun" outsi"e the 6ox many o( us have 6uilt aroun" ourselves3 )here(ore1 whatever is missing in your li(e1 ac0nowle"ge it now an" "eal with it:

nmet nee"s consume FI + K=Q o( li(e3 I( you are nee"y1 you attract nee"y people3 )he evolve" woman has a highly "evelope" sense o( sel(1 an" there(ore sees to it that her personal nee"s are met 6ecause she is oriente" aroun" her values3

When nee"s are met1 values get clear3 Sometimes this woman a((ects others so pro(oun"ly that she o(ten unconsciously helps others "iscover who they are an" what they have to share with the worl"3

A maDor purpose o( experiencing con(lict is (or sel(!"iscovery3 As0ing yoursel( the 2uestion1 >who am I really@1 on a regular 6asis1 will at least give you a leg up when the time (or a new change comes aroun"3 An" youAll (in" i( you 0eep on living that the sel(!image an" i"entity you have o( yoursel( will constantly nee" to 6e re"e(ine"3

TAP INTO THE ESSENCE OF YOU

I( you are alrea"y1 or are see0ing to 6ecome a $ysti0ue woman1 you will "raw upon your inner essence1 which is who you are at the core level3 )his woul" inclu"e your thoughts1 (eelings1 personality an" your "esires3

Your inner essence is in(inite1 it inclu"es all things3 Your outer essence woul" inclu"e your physical 6o"y an" your (acial (eatures an" characteristics3 )he inner essence

an" your outer essence C#5BI*E- ma0e up the poetry through which you express your soul an" there(ore releases you to communicate who you are to others3 In other wor"s1 your image i"entity is an integration o( the inner personality an" "esires with the physical ma0e!up3 Simply put1 we are strong1 yet we are gentle1 we are aggressive1 yet we are receptive1 we are creative1 yet we are nurturing3

)here is a way to express every moo"1 (eeling an" inspiration you ever have as well as expressing your in"ivi"uality in every situation you (in" in your li(e3 )he 0ey is to always consi"er W%# you are (irst1 6e(ore you consi"er the sel( concept you want to express3

INNER ESSEN'E

OUTER ESSEN'E

Your venera6ility Your compassion Your humanity Your sophistication Your spirituality

Your strength Your creativity Your wit Your glamour Your intelligence

When you learn to com6ine your outer appearance with your inner spirit1 you can exhi6it everything you experience through the language o( your image i"entity without (or(eiting the special an" uni2ue woman that you are3 You will 6egin to (eel very excite" a6out yoursel(Eas well as excite those you come in contact with3 Irresisti6le attraction sets in when you have i"enti(ie" an" proDect your essence1 an" continue to per(ect your personal

uni2ueness3 When you ma0e yoursel( a Mclass actA ! the 6est you ! all o( your connections with others will re(lect the empowere" an" 6alance" you3

HOW TO SLAY THE ENEMIES WITHIN

Personal (ul(ilment can only 6e attaine" when the numerous levels an" elements o( ourselves are satis(ie"3 )his means that we can evolve into our extraor"inary potential 6y overcoming your negative sel(!perceptions an" sel(!impose" limitations3

)here are three things that 6rea0 us an" 0eep us (rom having all that we want (rom li(e3 +-, )ro#rastination? Putting o(( "ecisions an"

actions until a later time or never "eci"ing anything when a "ecision is in or"er1 wastes your a6ility an" )I5E1

which is 4o"As gi(t to us an" our most valua6le asset3 When you spen" your time trying to (in" out whatAs 6est (or you + youAre "oing Dust that + spen"ing your time3 %ow valua6le is time$ )ime properly investe" is worth a (ortune3 )ime waste" can 6e total "estruction1 so invest your time3 In"ecision ro6s you o( opportunity an" un"erta0ing3 )he secret to winning is action:

+0,

6ental laIiness? )his is the line o( least

resistance in 0eeping you (rom reaching your goals3 )he Y# that is in you is the Y# the worl" is loo0ing (or3

/orming the ha6it o( concentration1 strategi;ing an" "ownright har" thin0ing is vital to you having complete control over your li(e3 'istlessness is a "angerous enemy3 >%o!hum1 (orget a6out it1 IAll Dust "ri(t along@3 But guess what1 you canAt "ri(t yoursel( to the top o( the mountain3

+/,

1ron

talJin , an@ Ne ative thinJin ?

5ost o( us are li0e an ol" neigh6orhoo" + un"evelope"3 It shows signs o( 6eauty an" signi(icance1 6ut it is covere" up 6y "ilapi"ate" 6uil"ings an" "ecaying yar"s an" si"ewal0s that nee" to 6e reha66e"1 lan"scape" an" replenishe" to ma0e its real 6eauty shine through3 )he way you thin0 plays a large part in what you say1 an" what you say o(ten "etermines the actions that you ta0e3

.ecogni;ing an" "oing 6attle with these enemies will propel you towar" the "evelopment o( the (ertile resources within you as well as 6uil" up your courage to (ight whatAs hol"ing you 6ac03 Consistent an" repeate" acts o( courage are re2uire" in your pursuit o( what you want an" the person you want to 6ecome3 An"1 this starts with turning on your P#WE..

ARE YOU A SELF-SABOTEUR 7 SIGNS Si n K/#C SI*4 #* W%A) IS *#) W#.&I*4 #. *#) .I4%)3

)roGle$: /in"ing that you thin0 a lot an" spea0 a lot a6out what is going wrong can ma0e you (eel "issatis(ie" an" can su6"ue your sense o( purpose an" am6ition3 *otice how o(ten you spea0 a6out things that arenAt wor0ing3 A#tion: AsJ Do%rselF a neB H%estion: E1hats oin ri ht3L or E1hat IS BorJin 3L "e in to noti#e all the thin s, no $ater hoB s$all, that are BorJin Bell.

Si n K0

BEI*4 S) C& I* /EA.3

)roGle$: -o you worry a lot a6out the (uture an" what is going to happen or might happen$ Are you thin0ing a6out your (ears so much that you are paraly;e" an" ta0e no action 6ecause o( (ear o( what might occur$

A#tion: AsJ Do%rselF the H%estion E1hat is the Borst thin that #o%l@ happen3 1rite @oBn the thins Do% #annot #han e, the thin s Do% Bant #o%ra e to #han e an@ a##ept that Go@ is the %lti$ate %i@e an@ Do% are not aGle to #ontrol the F%t%re. Si n K/ /EE'I*4 Y# %A9E *# 9A' E -o you (orget all your

)roGle$:

accomplishments an" lac0 pri"e in who you are an" what you have accomplishe"$ I( you stew an" o6sess a6out the past or your lac0 o( success or lac0 o( goal achievement1 then youAll 6e stuc0 in noticing how much you lac0 as a person3 I( you o(ten critici;e yoursel( or canAt accept

compliments1 you arenAt allowing yoursel( to love yoursel(3 A#tion: A#JnoBle@ e Do%rselF For at least ; thin s ea#h an@ everD @aD that Do% @i@ Bell. Ea#h @aD, #o$pli$ent Do%rselF on so$ethin Do% @i@ that Do% Feel oo@ aGo%t.

Si n K4 #)%E.S.

C#5PA.IS#*

#/

SE'/

)#

)roGle$: -o you constantly compare yoursel( to others an" then (eel 6a"ly when compare" to them$ Comparison "oesnAt motivate us to "o more or 6e 6etter1 instea" it ma0es us (eel weAll never 6e goo" enough an" we arenAt right now3 A#tion: 1rite o%t the ; H%alities Do% liJe Gest aGo%t Do%rselF. Then Brite o%t Bhat Do% val%e $ost in Do%r liFe. "e in to #reate a list oF a@Me#tives that @es#riGe Do% < at least 0; positive Bor@s aGo%t Do%r reatness.

Si n K;

5EE)I*4 4#A'S A*- )%E* '#SI*4 )%E53

)roGle$: -o you not 6elieve that you "eserve to accomplish goals an" that you are entitle" to what you want$ What is the story un"erneath + may6e that you arenAt goo" enough to have it$

A#tion: List all the thin s Do% have a##o$plishe@ that then Fa@e@ aBaD. Si$plD noti#e these thin s Bith love an@ pri@e an@ @ont Fo#%s on the Fa#t theD @isappeare@. HoB @i@ theD Grin Do% satisFa#tion3 HoB @i@ theD $aJe Do% Feel3 1hat is the li$itin GelieF that Do% have that tells Do% insi@e BhD Do% #ant have Bhat Do% Bant3 Si n K? )roGle$: C%ASI*4 AWAY .E'A)I#*S%IPS3 -o you always (eel something is

missing in your relationships or (in" (ault with the other person$ Perhaps you are a(rai" o( intimacy3 n"erneath this is usually a (ear o( a6an"onment or exposure that causes you to "istance yoursel( (rom others3 A#tion: 'reate a list oF the H%alities Do% val%e in a relationship an@ the H%alities Do% Bant to attra#t in Do%r partners. ECpress Bhat Do% Bant an@ @ont Bant to the other person an@ alloB the$ to eCpress the sa$e to Do%. Fo#%s on Bhat Feels oo@ aGo%t the relationship.

Si n K8

%A9I*4 *# P .P#SE3

)roGle$: -o you (eel you have no reason (or 6eing$ *o purpose in li(e$ We all have some

purpose (or 6eing on the planet an" it is time to notice yours3 Action? 1rite @oBn all the thin s that are i$portant to Do% +in#l%@e possessions, people an@ Feelin s,. Then Brite o%t Bhat Do% Bant to #ontriG%te to the Borl@. A@@ spirit%alitD to Do%r liFe. Give to others, ive to the Borl@ an@ Feel reat aGo%t it. 6aJe re %lar #ontriG%tions to people an@ #o$$%nitD. To ive is to re#eive.

WHY WISE WOMEN WIN

Wis"om is the a6ility to use 0nowle"ge to 6ene(it us in all that we "o3 An" where "oes this a6ility come (rom$ 5ost o( us who have stu"ie" these matters are aware o( the limitations o( sense knowledge1 recogni;ing that we are spiritual as well as mental an" physical 6eings3 It ta0es wis"om to un"erstan" the limitations o( "epen"ing on what you see1 hear1 taste an" (eel to rule your li(e3 Spiritual things are as real as material things1 there(ore we shoul" plan on spiritual things Dust as we "o on material things3 )he /ive senses have 6een the tutors o( the 6rain3 )his is the only metho" the 6rain has o( ac2uiring 0nowle"ge3 Scientists have "iscovere" that the 6rain has

no creative capacity or a6ility3 It can comprehen" the messages o( the senses1 correlate an" categori;e them3 In other wor"s1 it can organi;e this 0nowle"ge so it can an" will 6e utili;e" to a"vantage3 )he min" cannot invent3 It can experiment as in chemistry1 6ut it cannot "evelop anything that the senses have not 6ought into it3 )he most astonishing thing

"iscovere"1 however1 is that the brain cannot provide wisdom3 )he (ive senses cannot provi"e wis"om3

Your character is shape" 6y wis"om an" un"erstan"ing3 What a6out your "ecision ma0ing capa6ilities$ Everything that you are to"ay is the result o( the "ecisions you have ma"e -o you allow your emotions B(ear1 "ou6t1 angerC to ma0e your "ecisions (or you$ Are you continually ma0ing the same mista0es or even (in"

yoursel( in the same place1 "oing the same things1 (ighting the same "evil year a(ter year$

ItAs never a goo" i"ea to ma0e a permanent "ecision a6out a temporary situation an" this is a6solutely the wrong time in your li(e to ma0e 6a" choices3

Why women nee" wis"om? <3 )o i"enti(y the unsupervise" areas o( your li(e3 F3 )o ma0e the right choices (or li(e1 (amily an" career G3 )o 6ecome a woman o( su6stance H3 )o sustain you an" cause you to get 6etter an" 6etter I3 )o get what you really want out o( li(e3

5ost "o not reali;e that when 4o" create" them1 %e "i" so in %is own image an" li0eness an" that their spirit is actually the real person3 When you allow 4o" to

recreate your human spirit 6y transmitting %is own nature into it1 you will have 4o"As nature1 a6ility an" %is wis"om3 Your recreate" spirit must then ta0e charge an" start to "ictate to the reasoning a6ility3 Wis"om will help you to expose the sha"owy areas o( your li(e and the unsupervise" areas o( your li(e3

>, live a life guided by wisdom + therefore , wont limp or stumble as , run.1 Prover6s H?<F You must "eci"e the conclusion o( your li(e that you "esire3 You must pursue the relationships that matter to you3 )he 2uality o( the relationships you have chosen mirrors an" exposes what matters the most to you3 'ove those who love you more an" "evote yoursel( less to those who "onAt3 Sometime you have to hang on to someone elseAs 6elie( until yours 0ic0s in3 But 6y all means1 "onAt allow those who 6ene(it (rom your time an" e((orts to stop

you (rom reaching your -ivine "estiny3 )his is how wise women win:

Comfort Zone , used to have a "omfort 2one 3here , knew , couldn4t fail The same four walls of busy work were really more like (ail. , longed so much to do the things ,4d never done before, But , stayed inside my "omfort 2one and paced the same old floor. , said it didn4t matter, That , wasn4t doing much , said , didn4t care for things like diamonds, furs and such , claimed to be so busy with the things inside my *one, But deep inside , longed for something special of my own. , couldn4t let my life go by, 5ust watching others win.

, held my breath and stepped outside and let the change begin. , took a step and with new strength ,4d never felt before, , kissed my "omfort 2one 6goodbye6 )nd closed and locked the door. ,f you are in a "omfort 2one, afraid to venture out, 'emember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt. ) step or two and words of praise, "an make your dreams come true. -reet your future with a smile, Success is there for you!

Author Unknown

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