newgen

Summer 2009

Win!
great S
napfish
prizes in
o
family ur new
compephoto
tition!
Inspiring and informing NCT supporters

© Disney
Bringing up baby
The latest on
parenting issues
Different rules
Learning to live
with autism
Making a splash
Swimming
with your baby

tv times
Making the most of watching together
supported by
 Photo: Mother and Baby Picture Library

2 newgen magazine summer 2009

 heading
Contents

Inspiring and informing NCT supporters

Inside
Summer 2009

cover
story

17

© Disney
Summer solstice 4 What’s new
Hello. It’s only my second Keep up-to-date with parenting and birth news
edition and already I’m 7 In the know
feeling part of the NCT Our departments talk to you
furniture – not least because 9 Come together
of all the great letters you’ve Find out about our event-packed annual conference
sent in about the new-look magazine. 11 Your say
In addition to the regular features, this issue You tell us about your experiences
has a fascinating item on children’s TV, a 12 Picture perfect
moving article about autism, news of the NCT We reveal our Flickr competition winners, plus
details on a new nationwide photo contest
annual conference plus the results of our
photo competition and news of a new one. 15 Music lessons
One proud father tells us what happens when you
We’re also delighted to be able to announce take a ten-month-old baby to a music festival
that Persil Non-Bio and Comfort Pure now
sponsor Newgen. Their support will help us to
17 Kids on film
We explore the representation of parenting
reach even more parents. Comfort Pure and and children on TV and in film
Persil Non-Bio are both specially designed for 20 Rewriting the rules
babies and are dermatologically tested. The highs and lows of raising autistic children
Enjoy the mag and have a glorious summer. 24 Going swimmingly
A look at a new initiative to get babies in the water
Cover photography: Dee Ramadan

27 Take two
John Pinching Tales on pregnancy while looking after a toddler
email: newgeneditor@nct.org.uk 34 First person
or write to John Pinching, Newgen, NCT, Alexandra House, Garance Lawrence on antenatal training
Oldham Terrace, London W3 6NH

Calls to 0844 numbers will be charged a maximum of 5p The NCT is a Registered Charity No. 801395
Pregnancy and Birth Line: per minute (+VAT) from BT phone lines. The price of calls from All advertisements submitted for inclusion in Newgen are checked for compliance
0300 33 00 772 mobile networks will vary. with our Sponsorship Commercial Relationships & Advertising policy. The NCT
Breastfeeding Line: Published by Axon Publishing, 11 Plough Yard, reserves the right to accept or reject advertising material. No correspondence will
0300 33 00 771 London EC2A 3LP www.axonpublish.com be entered into. Advertisements are accepted in good faith but the NCT cannot be
Advertising enquiries to Mongoose Media Ltd, 2 Lonsdale held responsible for any claims made by advertisers. Please note that none of the
Enquiries Line:
Road, London NW6 Contact: Ben Shoesmith food products advertised in this magazine is suitable for babies under six months
0300 33 00 770 Tel: 020 7306 0300 Email: advertising@nct.org.uk and some will only be suitable for older children and adults.

This product is printed on paper containing a minimum of 75% recycled fibres, Views expressed by contributors to newgen are not necessarily
with the remainder coming from fully traceable paper from sustainable sources. those of the NCT charity or of Axon Publishing.

Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 3

 email: newgeneditor@nct.org.uk
News
what’s going on in the world of the NCT
find out more
About the grant
You can listen and
download a free podcast at
hmrc.gov.uk/podcasts,
or visit direct.gov.uk/
money4mum2be, or call
the grant helpline on
0845 366 7885.
Birth bonus
Mums-to-be get £190 grant from the Government
Every month, around 65,000
women in England, Wales, Northern
Ireland and Scotland celebrate the
birth of a new child. Now there’s
another reason for mums-to-be to
celebrate as they can now claim a new
one-off, tax-free payment of £190.
Every pregnant woman will get the
Health in Pregnancy Grant, as long as
they receive health advice from a
Getty Images
midwife or GP. The grant will act as an
incentive for mums to seek out and
4 Newgen Magazine Summer 2009
telephone: 020 7846 4567
access this essential help. It’s easy to
claim. All mums-to-be can ask for a
claim form from their midwife at their
first antenatal appointment after the
25th week of pregnancy. All they need
to do is return the completed form to
HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC)
within 31 days and HMRC will then
pay the money directly into the
woman’s bank or building society
account. It is entirely up to the mum
how the money is spent.
The milk
of human
kindness?
Actress Salma Hayek sparks
off milk-sharing debate
While Touring a hospital in war-torn
Sierra Leone, the actress Salma Hayek
came across a mother who was unable to
provide milk for her malnourished one-
week-old son. Hayek took the stranger’s
baby and breastfed him. The event was
documented by the American news
network ABC, which was accompanying
her on the African charity mission.
Mexican-born Hayek, who at the time
was breastfeeding her own one-year-old
daughter, said: “The baby was perfectly
healthy, but the mother did not have any
milk. He was very hungry so I breastfed the
baby. I think my baby would be very proud
to be able to share her milk.”
Wet-nursing, or cross-feeding, was
common practice before the Second
World War. Hayek’s action has sparked off
much debate as to whether the practice
is becoming more acceptable. We’d like to
hear your opinions on the subject.
Email yoursay@nct.org.uk
Beginning at home
13-20 June is National
Childminding Week
Carrying the theme of ‘Home from
Home’, the aim of the week is to
promote the benefits of home-based
childcare to parents and parents-to-be.

Visit ncma.org.uk for details.
 News

Your voice counts!

Have your say at the 2009 NCT AGM
This years AGM will be held at
Brangwyn Hall, Swansea. It takes place on
Saturday 27 June 2009 at 9.40am and is
open to all NCT members (even those not
attending the conference), plus it’s free.
The Board governs the NCT on members’
behalf so this is a chance to hold our
Trustees and management to account.
You can get essential AGM info in the booklet sent with this issue. If you
can’t come to Swansea, use your proxy voting rights or submit a question to
the Board in advance. The 2007/8 Annual Report and Accounts are available
electronically on update.nct.org.uk/AGM. For a hard copy, please contact the
Board Secretary on 020 8752 2372 or email boardsecretary@nct.org.uk. Two’s the limit?
Environmental think-tank
calls for population control
Green adviser Jonathon Porritt
has labelled couples who have more
than two children as ‘irresponsible’.
Porritt, who chairs the Government’s
Sustainable Development Commission,
says curbing population growth must be at
the heart of policies to fight global warming.
The Optimum Population Trust, a
campaign group of which Porritt is a
patron, says each baby born in Britain will,
during their lifetime, burn carbon roughly
equivalent to two and a half acres of old-
growth oak woodland – an area the size of
Trafalgar Square.
Porritt, who has two children, says, “I

Pushing for change

The NCT calls for more midwife-led support
am unapologetic about asking people to
connect their own responsibility for their
total environmental footprint to how they
decide to procreate and how many children
they think are appropriate.”

There have been several articles in the media recently on

plans to cut down on the number of epidurals provided to women in
labour. The NCT is not opposed to epidurals for women who need them; it
recognises that while all medical interventions add risk, sometimes the
risk of not intervening is greater. However, in some maternity units, there
is early recourse to epidural anaesthetic, which involves unwanted side
effects, including an increased need for forceps or ventouse. The modern
‘mobile epidurals’ contain opioid drugs that cross the placenta. This can
make babies sleepy after birth and interfere with feeding.
The NCT recognises that as well as being safe, birth should also be
positive. All too often women do not get one-to-one midwifery support, After much preparation
the environment is unfriendly and there is a lack of access to a birth and planning, we recently unveiled
pool or shower to help women cope with contractions. The NCT wants to our new NCT signage at our
make sure every woman has a midwife by her side throughout her labour. Alexander House office.
It also wants to ensure that she is well prepared and has support in order So, how do we look?
to have a straightforward birth that leaves her feeling positive.

Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 5

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6 Newgen Magazine Summer 2009

 NCT Activities

Read all about us

Press column Campaigns column

Press gang Taking action

With Nicola Ryan
An enthusiastic ‘high five’ from the press team
here at the NCT. This year we’ve already made
our presence felt across a range of UK media
The NCT has been particularly noticeable
on TV where our opinion on baby
feeding bottles containing the potentially
harmful chemical BPA appeared on
several news bulletins. We are asking
manufacturers to stop producing bottles
that contain BPA in the UK. After initially
appearing on BBC Breakfast, the story
also surfaced on Channel 4 News, ITV News and in the Daily
Telegraph and The Scotsman.
There have also been several misleading articles in the
media recently regarding the NCT’s views on women’s access
to epidurals. These arise from a consensus statement; Making
Normal Birth a Reality, developed by the Maternity Care Working
Party (MCWP) and supported by the NCT, Royal College of
Midwives, Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists
and other academic researchers and concerned organisations.
The report includes recommendations on positive changes that
are needed to improve overall services. It is not opposed to
epidurals for women who want or need them.
On a brighter note the NCT has started a new campaign –
New Directions – to encourage more people to train with us
and become qualified breastfeeding counsellors, postnatal
leaders or antenatal teachers.
Keep a look out for our presence in the media as we invite
people to change their lives and make a real difference to their
communities. In the meantime, enjoy your summer hols!
With Elizabeth Somerville
As the summer approaches – and it looks like
we might actually get one – there is so much
to Look forward to on the campaign trail
Well done to everyone who has added
their support to our campaigns so far –
every voice really does make a difference.
We’re currently planning the
‘breastfeeding – access all areas’
campaign to establish breastfeeding
friendly signs all over the country. These
signs will send out a strong message and
raise the confidence of mums who want to feed their babies when
they’re out and about. Your knowledge and experience is pivotal to
our success so please send us your views to campaigns@nct.uk.
We’re also conducting a clean-up of e-active and NCT Active –
our electronic email vehicles. We can only achieve this with your
help so go to nct.org.uk/active/network and tell us about yourself.
Please answer as many questions as you can and, if there’s
anything you’d like to add email us at campaigns@nct.org.uk.
Your input makes our network stronger. We may use quotes from
the research but we won’t use your names.
The NCT is also supporting Jessica’s Trust, which was formed by
Ben Palmer after his wife Jessica died from childbed fever. Though
rare, if undetected, the illness can have serious consequences. The
charity campaigns for awareness of the condition among parents,
and greater diagnosis from health professionals. These provisions
will save many lives and, of course, we will be doing all we can to
get the message across! For more info go to jessicastrust.org.uk. If
you want to get involved in any of our campaigns or if you want to
start your own visit nct.org.uk/active.

Fundraising column
This year the fundraising team are confident 24 of us will be dusting off our plimsolls

It all counts of raising more money than ever. Each

penny helps the NCT provide the very best
With George Pearce information about pregnancy and parenting,
first class services to our members and
We’re looking campaigns that can really make a difference.
forward to a We’ll be doing our bit too with NCT
very successful members, staff and volunteers displaying their
year ahead, sporting prowess in a range of disciplines
thanks to including rowing, running, darts and even
everybody’s caber tossing! Some of us have completed the
energy, London Marathon, with many finishing ahead
enthusiasm and sheer physical of the usual motley crew of celebrities and
stamina over the last few months others wearing crazy attire, and no less than
for the British 10k run.
On that note I’d like to pay tribute to the
astonishing athleticism of the NCT’s Andy
Barnes. The finance guru and fitness fanatic
took part in the Paris marathon, raising a cool
£1,350 for our charity. Despite an extremely
impressive finishing time of three hours and
six minutes, however, he threw his stop watch
away in disgust after realising he hadn’t
beaten his personal best!
We always welcome fresh fundraising
ideas. So please share yours with us at
events@nct.org.uk.

Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 7

 LabeLs for every Tom,
Dick or HarrieT
anD everyTHing THey own...
As we all know, children have a habit of putting
things down where they don’t belong, so it is easy to
understand why mums worldwide love the fun and
practical solutions Stuck on You provides to labelling
children from top-to-toe. Designed especially for
children, Stuck on You labels are colourful, fun and
full of personality, just like children.

Stuck on You name labels will stick to everything

from books, sippy cups, and toys to lunchboxes,
baby bottles, and even soothers! These durable
name labels have been tested to withstand the rough
and tumble of the playground and are dishwasher
and microwave safe, so your child’s belongings will
stick around!

Stuck on You clothing labels bond permanently to

fabric. They’re guaranteed to stay put even after
frequent machine laundering and drying. They are
simple to apply so all of your children’s clothing
for pre-school, school or the weekend can be easily
labelled.

When we say we have got labels to cover every

situation from top to toe, we really mean it! No
more coming home with one shoe, or another
child’s shoes. Stuck on You shoe labels will save
lost property headaches and precious tootsies too!
Shoe labels are a must, especially for toddlers. The
bright colours and individual icons help little ones
recognise their own shoes even before they can
read their own names.

Stuck on You labels are great fun and help make it

easy to keep track of children’s belongings!

To check out the labels that combine

practicality, quality and fun, go to
www.stuckonyou.biz or call
0845 456 0014 for a free brochure.
8 Newgen Magazine Summer 2009

Call of the valleys
With interesting workshops, fascinating findings and lively discussions promised, why
not get involved and join the fun by coming along to our annual NCT conference…
The sound of NCT voices will soar
above the valleys as we celebrate our
53rd year in the delightful Welsh coastal
city of Swansea.
Come along for a range of fascinating
presentations, special guests – including
Penny Nicholls from The Children’s Society
– and a host of stimulating workshops.
Other notable highlights include the
brand new NCT strategy for the next
ten years, a panel discussion on labour
pain and, back by popular demand, the
Volunteer Awards.
There will even be a performance
of ‘The Father Monologues’ – a hugely
entertaining dramatisation of how
fathers can, and should, get involved
with bringing up their children.
Meanwhile, the Joint Forum will involve
discussions, a presentation from Rose
McCarthy on running courses for diverse
groups and debates about issues affecting
parents in all situations. We will also be
delivering the results of our three-year
POPPY (Parents of Premature Babies
Project) study and findings from the
evaluation of NCT antenatal classes.
We’ll also be announcing the winners of
our first ever Specialist Worker Awards,
sponsored by Medela.
Don’t miss out on your chance to
join this unique occasion. Please note,
just because it’s called ‘conference’ it
doesn’t mean it’s going to be a hall full
of ‘suits’ using management speak. Your
contribution is absolutely vital in shaping
Annual conference
supported by
Don’t miss
the NCT Ann
ual
Conference
and Joint Fo
rum
on Friday 26 to
Sunday
28 June, Brangw
yn
Hall, Swansea
the future of our charity. We’re looking
for record numbers of branch workers,
committee members, volunteers and
specialist workers.
It’s going to be an inspirational, fun,
educational and enlightening celebration
of the year gone by and, who knows, you
might even make some new friends!
After the serious stuff we’re going to
hit the conference party for some
intoxicating beverages and, no doubt, a
few spontaneous dance moves! We’re also
going to throw in a traditional Ceilidh band
for good measure.
If you’d like to come and join us for a
splendid weekend by the seaside, go
to update.nct.org.uk/conference
Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 9
Peace of mind before, during
and after pregnancy
Model and clothes by Isabella Oliver
www.IsabellaOliver.com

Pregnacare® supports

From Boots, Superdrug, Holland & Barrett,

leading supermarkets, chemists, health stores &
www.pregnacare.com www.nct.org.uk www.wellbeingofwomen.org.uk
 Letters

Your say
Win! £30 of
NCT Shop
Vouchers

Every issue, the

writer of Newgen’s
star letter will be As usual you’ve been keen to send us
sent a £30 NCT your views on the NCT and respond to
Shop voucher to
spend on whatever the spring Newgen – share your opinions
they like. Visit on this issue at yoursay@nct.org.uk
nctshop.co.uk

Breast is best! Support system

My reaction to Facebook’s banning of a group featuring photographs Thank you NCT for the wonderful support
star
letter of breastfeeding, is one of both annoyance and, unfortunately, a lack offered to me through antenatal classes
of surprise. It is a sad world that we live in when something as natural and my local breastfeeding counsellor. My
as breastfeeding is continuously slandered as being ‘inappropriate’. husband and I attended the NCT antenatal
It seems to me that the majority of these individuals offended by classes one month before my due
breastfeeding are finding it difficult to come to terms with the fact that date. I thought at this stage I’d prefer
they view the breast as a sexual object and therefore become uncomfortable to remain ignorant about the whole
with its presence in a public place. birthing experience, but I am so glad I
It’s as simple as this – if you don’t like it, don’t look! If it comes down to changed my mind! The classes were really
child-Facebook-viewer’s protection, I really don’t think that a picture of a informative about all aspects of the
mother feeding her child is going to cause them any harm. There are far more impending birth. The teacher ran the
harmful computer games and TV programmes within easy reach! course in an informal and inclusive way
I am planning to breastfeed my baby who’s due soon and will not resort and made everyone feel comfortable to
to anything less just because I am worried that a few may find it offensive. ask any questions – including the men!
Having spoken to my husband about our plans to ensure our baby is By the end of the day I felt genuinely
breastfed, I asked him what he felt about the issue. He confirmed that he empowered and fully informed as to the
did not find it at all offensive and saw it as a completely maternal act i.e. choices that would shape my birthing
the baby getting his lunch. experience. Without this class I would
Rhiannon not have had access to the information
or had the courage to go to a midwife
and ask about a water birth.
Thank you! work to be done to ensure that health Jill, Teesside branch
I just wanted to get in touch and say thank professionals recognise, and are able
you for highlighting the issue of antenatal to deal with, the illness. Look around
depression in the article ‘Alone With Jane, Bury and Rossendale branch I read with interest your article ‘Bumpy Ride’
Everybody’ in the winter edition of Newgen. in the spring issue of Newgen and must
I suffered with antenatal depression from admit I too was overjoyed the first time
the sixth week of my second pregnancy, I was offered a seat on the London
but was able to find out very little about it. Underground, only to be deflated when I
My GP and midwife were both flummoxed realised that I was being offered the seat
by the condition. I was six months pregnant by another pregnant lady, and could not
when I had an emergency referral to a possibly take the seat from her. I very loudly
psychiatrist at my local hospital. This thanked her for her kind offer and then said
was the first health professional I had “What kind of world are we living in when
encountered who was familiar with the only person willing to give up their seat
the illness, and was able to prescribe for a pregnant lady is another pregnant
medication and cognitive behavioural lady?” to which I was then offered the seat
therapy, which helped me to slowly recover. next to her that I took.
It was great to see the Pregnancy and The majority of the time I found that
Birth Line detailed as a place to go for help Rings around the world other commuters would either look away
with this issue, and I was also pleased to How great to see an article about From Bump from me throughout the journey or raise
see a reference to the website to Breastfeeding in the latest issue. It’s a shame, their papers so high as to obliterate their
depression-in-pregnancy.org.uk. though, that you didn’t mention that the DVD faces from view, seemingly operating on
If antenatal depression is, as your article is also voiced over in Welsh, Polish, Somali, the principle, ‘if you can’t see the pregnant
states, at least as common as postnatal Urdu, and Bengali. lady standing beside you, she isn’t there’.
depression, there is a great deal of Lindsay Jennifer, East Grinstead branch

Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 11

 sponsored by
1. Jonathan Bateman and
Judith Winters.
Baby Saul is pictured wearing
a headtorch illustrating the
NCT’s gentle guidance
2. Julia Duff and friends
A literal interpretation of how the
NCT brings mothers together
3. Bedtime
Both this image, and picture 4,
emphasise our charity’s
keenness to get dads involved
4. Richard and Mya Fowler
1 5. Halo Honey
2 Beautiful babies – enough said

3 4

Looking
Enter our new
competition!

good
Building on the success of spring’s
contest, the NCT has joined forces with
Snapfish to create the most fun and
exciting photo competition in the land!
This summer we’re staging a brand
new national photo competition. We’ve
a host of incredible prizes to give away,
so if your image seizes our imaginations,
you could win a state-of-the-art laptop or
We’ve been delighted with the response to our photo printer.
If you’re an enthusiastic snapper
spring photo competition – so much so that this is a great chance to show off your
we’ve now launched a new nationwide parenting photographic prowess. Alternatively, it
picture contest that’s open to everyone… could be an opportunity to dust the
cobwebs off your camera if it’s been
We had a great response to the photo competition in the last edition. in hibernation for the winter.
Thanks to everybody who emailed, posted or submitted images to our Absolutely everybody is welcome to
official Flickr Group on the theme of what the NCT means to you. The enter – even non NCT members – so
standard and variety of photos was very impressive. if you know someone who’s a bit flash with
Our judging panel had quite a task selecting the ten winners from a camera, spread the word! There are also
the entries we received. But, after much deliberation we’re confident no age limits for people who want to submit
that our top ten (showcased above) capture the essence of what it their shots but, beware of children who are
means to be a NCT member – and all in such different ways. better with technology than their parents!

12 Newgen Magazine Summer 2009


6 7
6. Melodious Williams
We felt this image reflected our
aim to support the whole family
7. Rachel Thomas
A precious parenting moment
8. Tina Dowell
Celebrating the NCT’s
commitment to breastfeeding
9. Sophie Kempe
We believe skin-to-skin contact
is essential, so it’s great to have
an image showing this
10. Dave and Roshi
We thought this illustrated the
countrywide nature of the NCT
The theme this time is ‘My Family’. We
want to see what you can encapsulate in
one frame that best illustrates your family.
This theme will conjure up a myriad of ideas,
so the concept is deliberately left open to
your own interpretation.
Family could mean how you spend your
time with loved ones, where you live, the
people you live with or even your extended
family – such as friends. The idea of family
may mean special occasions, getting back
in touch with relatives, helping each other
or having fun with other families. The notion
of ‘My Family’ will be different for everyone.
You can be as adventurous and imaginative
with the brief as you want. The competition
is already live and will close on 9 August – so
there’s plenty of time to get snapping if you
don’t have the perfect shot already. Get a
head start by uploading your favourite
photos onto Snapfish now.
Initially, your entries will be entered
into one of six regional sections (North
England, South England, Midlands,
9
Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland)
according to where you live (it doesn’t
matter where you take the shot – it could
be in Outer Mongolia but if your home is in
Dudley your submission will be made to
the Midlands region). You will be allowed
to submit three photos in total onto an
especially developed NCT and Snapfish
photo competition page on the Snapfish
website. A public voting system will decide
the regional winners, who will progress to a
national final where an expert panel of NCT
and Snapfish judges will decide the ultimate
winning photos.
To get you started, Snapfish are offering
all NCT members 40 free prints when they
sign up to the service. You can claim yours
at snapfish.co.uk/nctoffer.
It’s easy to take part. All you need to do
is register with Snapfish so you can
upload your photos and submit them to
the contest. The photo contest is live at
snapfish.co.uk/nctfamilycontest.
Photo competition
8
10
sponsored by
The rules
Enter between now and 9 August.
Each participant can enter up to
three photos. Winners of the
regional contests will be
determined by public judging and
will be announced by 20 August
2009 on the Snapfish site. Winners
of the overall UK contest will be
determined by private judging
and will be announced by
10 September on the Snapfish site
and the Autumn issue of Newgen.
Please make sure you check your
inbox because winners have to
accept the prize by 13 August
otherwise it will be assigned to
the next highest scoring photo.
No purchase necessary.
See complete rules at
snapfish.co.uk/nctfamilycontest
Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 13

Musical youth
Live music lover Matt Evans tells us about his first, very special, festival outing
with his ten-month-old daughter Freya and why it pays to be prepared...
When my partner Georgia and I met,
we immediately bonded over music –
particularly the projects of Faith No More’s
Mike Patton. So we nearly exploded with
excitement when it was announced that
he would be co-curating the Nightmare
Before Christmas (NBC) festival. However,
just one month before the announcement,
our beautiful daughter Freya was born. We’d
been to many festivals, but never as a trio…
NBC takes place in December, which
seemed eons away when we naïvely bought
the tickets. Freya would be ten months old
by then, surely old enough to spend a
weekend with Granny? By late summer,
Freya was still breastfeeding and waking
often at night. We had no desire to switch
to bottles, and expressing attempts had
proved fruitless. It wouldn’t be fair or
practical to leave her with Granny – and
besides, we’d miss her too much. To our
surprise, the festival website stated that kids
were welcome, and crèche facilities
would be provided. Excited but anxious,
we decided to take her along.
The festival would be a cacophonous
affair; tiny eardrums must be protected. I
tracked down baby ear defenders online.
A few clicks later, our bright-pink mufflers
arrived. Freya hated them – as soon as they
were on, they’d be yanked off again, hmm.
December soon came around. After a
long journey, we arrived at Butlin’s – and
things started to go awry. Freya’s presence
Out and about
confused and alarmed the staff, who didn’t
think babies were allowed. Managers were
summoned. They eventually let us in.
Butlin’s may not have been prepared,
but we were. Daytime was family festival
time; Freya riding in her sling or pushing her
trolley. At night we’d take it in turns to see
bands while the other stayed in the chalet
with the baby, watching DVDs in the dark.
The ear defenders were fantastic. Just
as she hates wearing a hat indoors but not
outside, Freya left them alone when they
were needed. And they were certainly
effective, as demonstrated when she
dozily breastfed through a frantic set of
experimental thrash metal.
I was concerned that Freya would be
bored, but she probably had more fun
than we did. Extremely sociable and a
show-off, she was the only baby there and
got a lot of attention. She couldn’t have
been happier, and she spread plenty of joy,
too. Then, one afternoon, between the
Butthole Surfers and Fantômas, she was
inspired to walk unaided for the first time.
A truly memorable time and place for such
a momentous achievement! I’m not sure
what she made of the music, but children
don’t have the cultural prejudices of adults.
Festival-going as a family was easier
than I anticipated. It just takes a little extra
planning. The biggest downside is that
your nocturnal activities are solitary, but
it’s a small price to pay. Freya’s presence
enhanced the experience immeasurably –
she loved it, and therefore so did we.
What’s your story?
Have you embarked on any
adventures, musical or otherwise,
with your baby? If so, we’d love to
hear from you.
Email us your account at
yoursay@nct.org.uk
Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 15
Photography: linda pelling

16 Newgen Magazine Summer 2009

 Media watch

cover
story

What’s on

the box?
As a parent you’ve no doubt thought about the influence mass-media has in shaping
your child’s outlook. We’ve spoken to mums, an academic expert and Nancy Kanter,
senior vice-president of Playhouse Disney, on the issue, and here’s what they think

T
he role TV and film has in our
children’s lives has often been
the subject of debate among
parents. What do you let your
children watch? Does TV and film
hinder or cultivate your child’s imagination?
Can TV and film really educate?
Lots of mothers say that one of the
nicest things to do as a family is to cuddle
up on the sofa and watch a movie. They say
it gives them a chance to relax with their
children, enjoy a shared experience and it
also provides an opportunity to discuss any
thoughts that come up during viewing.
Mum, Karen Nash sees film viewing as a
Getty Images
Thomas,” she says. “We never watch a film
all the way through – we’ll normally play
through it or pause it. Plus I get cuddles.”
Amy Aidman, Ph.D. Senior Research
Fellow in Media at Emory University and
contributor to the book Media and
the Make-believe Worlds of Children:
When Harry Potter Meets Pokemon in
Disneyland, recognises this. She also
exercises a note of caution:
“Some families develop rituals around
media use that bind them as a family,” she
says. “But some media habits, such as long
periods of viewing alone, isolate family
members from each other. Children can
messages. Just as there is good literature
for children, there are good films and video
content for children.”
TV monitor
So how do parents avoid isolating their
children and harness the positive aspects?
Aidman says parental control is the key:
“Parents should minimise exposure,
monitor content, and support industry
and governmental policies for a child-
friendly media environment. There are
ways to use TV and film to the family’s
advantage but even advantageous use
should be in moderation.”

time for valuable bonding with her two- learn positive messages from film and TV, Daska Davis, mum to Nancy, aged seven,
year-old son. “I love watching films with but they can also learn from the negative and Lily, aged three, maintains strict control

Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 17

 over her daughters’ viewing habits. “When
I was growing up, dad didn’t let me watch
ITV, only BBC kids shows, so maybe we
Children’s
repeat our parents’ behaviour,” she says.
“I have deliberately avoided pre-teen
film
programming because it overlays quite a lot
of ‘adult’ content – boyfriends, fashion, peer
and television
pressures – which, quite frankly, I can do
without. Nancy is going to be into the teen
programmes are
angst stage soon enough, so I don’t feel the
need to fan the flames before we get there
becoming more
naturally. Both kids love the classics – they’re
very safe too. I sometimes marvel that Snow
and more
White still entertains kids even though it was
made in 1937.”
innovative
Modern methods
In the modern world of the internet and production journey involves showing interaction, problem-solving, language,
on-demand, multichannel TV, children’s kids an early version of a new show in a teamwork and even maths.
films and television programmes are specially created viewing area. Producers, The organisation also aims to reflect the
becoming more and more innovative. meanwhile, busily analyse the reactions changing times, tackling subjects such as
Playhouse Disney are one of a growing behind two-way mirrors. It’s also fascinating green issues (with a revamped Pooh Bear’s
number of organisations that incorporate all to observe how different children react to adventures in Hundred Acre Wood
sorts of radical techniques to ensure that the programmes. Some sit quietly and encouraging pre-school learners to reflect
programmes are stimulating, interactive, intently, whereas others are inclined, on their own surroundings) and social
educational and attractive to young eyes. when prompted, to dance or sing. diversity. The latter issue is explored using
Perhaps most significantly, it relies on The producers also regularly liaise with the character Handy Manny (pictured right),
young children themselves to help develop notable child and educational experts to a Hispanic immigrant who lives in the
concepts. Part of Disney’s modern make sure shows encourage social multicultural community of Sheetrock Hills.

Are you for real?

A look at the NCT’s campaign to improve parenting programmes
There’s a wealth of TV programmes that show us a
multitude of parenting techniques. But can ‘good telly’
provide useful guidance for parents and when does
‘factual programming’ become exploitation?
It was precisely these questions that NCT
Campaigns Manager
Anne Fox and her team began
to ask after watching the Channel 4 reality TV show
Bringing up Baby. The programme took the guiding
principles of three of last century’s most influential
childcare manuals and observed six families as they
put into practice their chosen method for the first
three months of their babies’ lives.
Alarm bells had already started ringing when one of
the channel’s researchers approached the NCT for
advice. “We raised concerns but they weren’t listened
to. Then we’re listed in the credits as ‘organisations we
spoke to’. We thought this was a very dangerous show
so naturally we were worried about our association.”
Particularly troubling for Anne was the advice given
by Claire Verity, which was based on the philosophy of
Dr Truby King that was widely practised in the 1950s.
The advice recommended parents feed babies at strict
four-hour intervals, to not make eye contact with the
baby and ignore the child no matter how much it cries.
“The NCT is an evidence-based charity and in the
light of years of scientific evidence, what Verity was
recommending is potentially harmful to small babies.
We were not objecting to looking at different parenting
methods but we felt it was wrong that very young
babies and new parents were subjected to theories
that have long been disproved. There are other
programmes too that raised similar concerns.”
The NCT wishes to ensure that all reality TV shows
featuring young children and their parents are
produced with the best interests of parent and child in
mind. Anne is at pains to point out that the campaign
certainly isn’t anti-television. “We all understand that
TV is a very powerful medium and has an enormous
influence on parents. In fact we’d like to see more, not
less, good quality parenting programmes, as we realise
for some parents it’s the only way they’ll access such
information and feel supported in their decisions.”

18 Newgen Magazine Summer 2009


© Disney
Handy Manny – one of Playhouse Disney’s latest creations
According to Nancy Kanter, Playhouse
Disney’s senior vice-president, the
character “Illustrates how interesting and
fun living in a diverse community can be
and the importance of social interaction.”
Quality not quantity
The powerful influence of TV and its role as
an educational tool is acknowledged by
parents, as Lucy Callington illustrates. “My
two-year-old daughter Poppy’s love for
Thomas the Tank engine was a useful tool
in explaining what a train is,” she says. “It
sparked off a love of waiting at the bridge
in Walthamstow, watching the trains.”
Karen Nash agrees: “My son Thomas
does base a lot of his play around his
favourite TV and book characters and has
become interested in things like firemen
because of Fireman Sam. It’s a powerful
medium so it must be used wisely. When
children’s TV is good, kids are given the
chance to see programmes covering
different jobs, how to behave well (the
morality tale is alive and well) and get to
know characters with disabilities, or from
different cultures.”
According to Amy Aidman, TV and film
should be handled with care. She has the
following viewing advice for parents: “Babies
need human interaction and they need to
play in order to develop optimally. Young
children need to play and interact with
others as well. It’s vital to minimise screen
time with young children and, when they
watch, make sure it is age appropriate
programming and that you’re watching
with them and discussing content.”
Media watch
Box office
babies and
TV tots
John Pinching takes a
look at how babies and
their parents have been
represented on TV and
film in years gone by
Some Mothers Do ’ave ’em
(1974-78)
Frank Spencer went through life
causing chaos and losing jobs. However,
scenes with daughter Jessica proved
that Frank was a wonderful father. His
daft songs and imaginative stories
brought a new dimension to the
character and recognised the bond
between father and child.
The Likely Lads (1976)
Babies interacting with each other aids
social development and some people
are friends virtually from the day
they’re born – just like well-loved
characters Bob and Terry.
The Waltons (1972-81)
Set during the Great Depression, The
Waltons documents how a close loving
family can provide a good foundation
for the individual when dealing with
the most adverse situations.
The Omen (1976)
In a dubious last minute baby-switch,
orchestrated by monastery folk, baby
Damien is taken home by the affluent
Thorn family. It doesn’t take long for
the tiny infant to start instigating
merry hell, literally. This really does
bring new meaning to ‘little devil’.
Competition
Win HANDY Manny’s tools!
We’ve got four sets of Playhouse
Disney character Handy Manny’s tool
box to give away. To be in with a chance
to win, simply answer the following
question…Who owns the hardware
store that Manny and his tools often
visit? Send your answers to
interactive@nct.org.uk
Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 19
Parenting

“Autistic
children
rewrite
the rules”
With two teenage sons with autism, and one son without, Charlotte Moore,
the author of George and Sam: Two Boys, One Family and Autism, provides
her own very personal account of living with the condition…

I
belong to a reading group. We’re
all mothers, all roughly of an age;
we’ve met once a month for the
last 12 years. In theory we discuss
our chosen book of the month;
in practice, of course, we talk about
everything that concerns us – our
work, our men, our homes, our bodies,
our children. Maybe our children more
than anything else.
The focus of these conversations has
changed. In the early years the joys and
frustrations of parenthood affected us in
similar ways; how, in essence, could we
save a little time for ourselves amidst the
demands our adorable but exhausting
infants made on us? How could we salvage
some sense of the carefree young women
we once were from the maze of broken
nights, tantrums, sibling squabbles and
laundry mountains generated by these
enchanting but relentless little beings?
Now, more than a decade later, the
concerns are different. The toddlers are
teenagers; maternal worries focus on
drugs, sex, self-harm, use and abuse of

20 Newgen Magazine Summer 2009


money, gap years, university choices, first
jobs, broken hearts etc. Some of us now go
home to an empty nest. Not me, though.
I’m the only member of the group who still
needs to employ a babysitter.
Eternal childhood
I have three sons. George is 19, Sam is
17 and Jake is 11. Despite their ages,
childhood hasn’t ended, for them or for
me, because George and Sam are both
autistic. Jake, so much the youngest, will
achieve independence long before they
do – if, indeed, they ever achieve it. In
many ways, George and Sam are like a pair
of outsize toddlers. Physically they are fully
grown, but the forces that motivate most
boys of their age are almost absent. They
have no ambitions and few social instincts.
They’re not interested in money, status or
possessions. They don’t want to go to
parties or learn to drive (thank goodness).
They don’t know what’s in fashion and
they never look in the mirror. The special
schools they attend teach them to do
as much for themselves as possible, and
I try to encourage them to take control of
their own lives, but the urge that turns
most of us from children into adults just
isn’t there.
Small steps
I don’t mean to suggest there’s been no
change or progress. George, always the
more verbally able and sociable of the two,
is thriving; I had a ‘big’ birthday recently,
and George put on a suit and tie and acted
the part of a waiter in a way he couldn’t
possibly have managed a year or so ago.
Sam can’t cope with crowds and is very
much a loner, but he’s now able to occupy
himself with a range of activities – his
keyboard, picture books, jigsaws, colouring
books; time was when destroying things
was his only self-generated activity. I no
longer have to supervise their every
waking minute. But there’s still an absence
of common sense, a lack of intuition that
means that I can never leave them alone in
the house. In an emergency, it wouldn’t
occur to either of them to use the phone
or fetch a neighbour. They don’t recognise
danger. I have seen George sit with his
shoes propped on a burning log
contentedly gazing at the smoke curling
up from the smouldering soles. The other
day Sam, fed up with something, threw a
breadknife across the room. Cause and
effect is still a closed book to them.
What is autism?
Autism is a lifelong developmental condition. It is part of the autism
spectrum and is sometimes referred to as an autism spectrum
disorder, or an ASD. The word ‘spectrum’ is used because, while all
people with autism share three main areas of difficulty, their condition
will affect them in very different ways. Some are able to live relatively
‘everyday’ lives; others will need specialist support.
The three main areas of difficulty that all people with autism share are
sometimes known as the ‘triad of impairments’. They are:
• Difficulty with social communication
• Difficulty with social interaction
• Difficulty with social imagination
Difficulty with social communication
People with autistic spectrum disorders find it difficult to use or understand
facial expressions or tone of voice, jokes and sarcasm. They also find it difficult
to ‘get’ common phrases. So sayings such as ‘it’s cool’ – which people often
say when they think that something is good, but, strictly speaking, means that
it’s a bit cold – are confusing. It helps if other people speak in a clear, consistent
way and give people with autism time to process what has been said to them.
Difficulty with social interaction
People with autism often have difficulty recognising or understanding
other people’s emotions and feelings, and expressing their own.
This can make it more difficult for them to fit in socially. They may
not understand the unwritten social rules that most of us pick up
subconsciously: they may stand too close to another person, or start
an inappropriate subject of conversation. People with autism can
also appear to be insensitive because they haven’t recognised how
someone else is feeling and prefer to spend time alone rather than
seeking out the company of others. Difficulties with social interaction
can mean that people with autism find it hard to form friendships:
some may want to interact with other people and make friends, but
are unsure about how to go about this.
Difficulty with social imagination
Social imagination allows us to understand and predict other people’s
behaviour, make sense of abstract ideas, and to imagine situations outside
our immediate daily routine. Difficulties with social imagination mean that
people with autism find it hard to understand and interpret other people’s
thoughts, feelings and actions. They will also have difficulties engaging
in imaginative play and activities: children with autism may enjoy some
imaginative play but prefer to act out the same scenes each time. People
with autism will find it hard to understand the concept of danger, may
struggle to cope in new or unfamiliar situations and find it difficult to prepare
for change and plan for the future. Difficulties with social imagination should
not be confused with a lack of imagination. Many people with autism are very
creative and may be, for example, accomplished artists, musicians or writers.
For help and advice?
Our Autism Helpline offers confidential information and advice on autism
and related issues. Tel: 0845 070 4004
(open 10am-4pm, Monday-Friday) or
email: autismhelpline@nas.org.uk.
Source: The National Autistic Society, nas.org.uk.
Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 21
 Parenting
Observe the child you have and try to
see the world from their point of view
Then and now
Understanding and awareness of autism
has increased enormously since George
was born back in 1990. Certainly I knew
little about it then, and what I thought I
knew was mainly wrong. I had no reason
to suspect that my bright-eyed baby boy
had a life-long condition that would
affect every aspect of his experience of
the world. I was aware that George slept
much less than other babies, but I
decided that was because he was
extra bright. I think it’s just as well that
I couldn’t foresee that he wouldn’t
sleep through the night for 13 years.
Even now, with increased knowledge,
it’s very hard to detect autism in young
babies. There’s as yet no blood test, no
prenatal screen. It’s genetic, but subtly
so; we had not known autistic members
22 Newgen Magazine Summer 2009
in our families, though when we looked
more closely we realised that there were
clusters of eccentricities possibly related
to autism. Most autistic babies are
physically healthy; many (mine included)
are exceptionally good looking, though
angelic cuteness should not to be taken
as a symptom! So what are the signs to
look out for?
Identifying autism
Autism is, above all, a social disability.
It’s not about academic intelligence –
autistic brains cover the whole IQ range,
from severe impairment to genius level.
But it is about social intelligence, social
connectedness. Most babies learn social
behaviour from watching and interacting
with their carers; they are programmed
to do so. Autistic babies are not. An early
sign is the absence of the “shared point”.
If I asked George or Sam at about ten
months “where’s the light?”, no problem
– they would point at it. But they never
drew my attention to things that
interested them by pointing. Long
before Jake could talk, he was pointing
out everything to me, eager for my
participation and approval. George
and Sam, aloof and apparently self-
sufficient, did not.
With George, I religiously consulted my
babycare book. It slowly dawned on me
that nothing in it applied to him. Autistic
children rewrite the rules; if you have
one, forget everything you thought you
knew about child development, observe
the child you have, and try to see the
world from their point of view – a key
feature of autism is that they can’t see it

from yours. I learned to accept that a
treat for Sam was a trip to the
launderette, because he developed
an obsession with washing machines;
however, a birthday party was torture
for him. George hated being given a
present, because he was afraid of
surprises; it was therefore much kinder
to leave the toy lying around, unwrapped,
where he could discover it for himself.
I became so familiar with my boys’
peculiarities that they became second
nature to me. Therefore it was a shock
– a pleasant one – to find that Jake did
everything a little boy was supposed
to, making friends, loving team sports,
joining in. But the “otherness” of George
and Sam has its own compensations.
When I listen to my book group friends
talking about their teenagers, I realise
Clockwise from left: Charlotte,
George, Sam and Jake; George,
aged ten, blocks his ears due to his
sensitive hearing; Charlotte and a
seven-year-old Sam on the garden
wall (which he spent a lot of time
running on top of); Charlotte with
George aged seven and Sam aged
five – Sam is holding his owl, which
he carried everywhere, and George
holding his ‘flapper’; according to
Charlotte “George always twiddled
something”.
there’s a lot I’ve been spared. With autism
goes an innocence, a lack of malice.
George and Sam don’t compete, or put
each other down; they don’t lie or insult
or undermine.
My evenings are still dominated by the
age-old routines of feeding, bathing and
putting them to bed – left to themselves,
none of this would happen – but at least I
don’t lie awake at night wondering where
they’ve got to.
My two autistic sons are complete
individuals, as different from each other
as either of them is from Jake. My job is
to balance three sets of contrasting,
often conflicting, needs, while still finding
a little time for my own. It’s a constant
challenge, but keeping our bizarre show
on the road brings its own rewards and
satisfactions.
“Different”
An NCT member on life
with her autistic child
When my son Edward was born he
was a joy. Watching him grow and
change, I gradually became aware
that he was different. I realised that he
didn’t seem to need me in the usual
ways. He never showed affection and
didn’t seem to be comforted by me
when he was scared or in pain.
He’d become more distressed if I
tried to touch and reassure him. I
learned that distraction was a way to
avoid terrifying tantrums during which
he lost all sense of danger. In his fury,
he’d try to throw himself downstairs,
onto roads and against walls.
Nothing in the baby books seemed
to make sense for us, but I learned
that humour was vital in keeping him
relaxed in high stress situations. No
matter how stressed I might feel, I had
to smile and keep all tension out of
my face and voice so that he might be
calm. This was a way I could love him.
He was diagnosed with autism
when he was three. After that followed
the awful realisation that I’ll never
have a spoken conversation with him,
he’ll never ask me about myself and
that he’ll never tell me he loves me.
There are so many contrasting
emotions… The joy of seeing him
happy, the fascination in watching
him work things out, the pain in
seeing his frustration when he
doesn’t understand, the hurt seeing
someone afraid of him because he’s
different, my joy when someone
smiles at him. There’s also the
absolute delight of knowing that
when he shows pleasure it’s genuine
and the terrible worry of knowing that
he cannot tell me when he is in pain.
This is not what I planned, but I
have a child I love and I am grateful,
which I think makes me the same as
any other mum.
What’s your story?
Does your child have a condition that
affects your day-to-day life? We’d like
to hear about your experiences,
so please write in to:
newgeneditor@nct.org.uk
Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 23
 Building confidence
Water babies
We look at a new project that gets babies from as young as six weeks old into the water,
building their confidence and strengthening the bond between parent and child
A I want
fter stepping on to the
medal rostrum so many
times during her career
you’d think four times
world champion swimmer
Karen Pickering MBE would feel she’d
given everything she could to the sport.
However, after retirement, Karen still
wanted to give something back.
That’s why Karen founded the Baby
Swim Foundation, which encourages
parents to introduce their babies to water
at the earliest opportunity – even as early
as six weeks after being born.
Getting involved in this exciting activity
has given Karen a chance to use her
experience to help produce the swimmers
of tomorrow. “This is my passion – I want
to get as many people as possible to enjoy
swimming,” she enthused. “It’s really
important that babies have fun at the
swimming pool and, as they get older,
24 Newgen Magazine Summer 2009
associate it with enjoyment. There are so
many pools now where these classes are
to get
available and attending them is a great
foundation for learning. Swimming will
as many people
give children an appreciation of exercise
that will last as they grow older, making
as possible
them healthier and happier.”
to enjoy
In a class of their own
The Baby Swim Foundation programme is
swimming
administered by fully trained professional
instructors, at pools located all over the
country. During the sessions they take the
tiny students and their parents through a
wide range of stimulating activities. turned round and once again greeted
The exercises start with a sing-song by the sight of their mum or dad (this
while the parents move their babies is absolutely essential to maintain
around in the water. The babies are baby’s confidence).
then encouraged to pursue a shiny toy. With confident babies it is sometimes
This enables them to focus and form a possible to briefly propel them through
kind of stroke as they attempt to reach the water on their own. Using the
the object. The baby’s reward is to be momentum and the movements that

Mums and babies get into the swim of things on the Baby Swim Foundation
programme. Founded by Karen Pickering (pictured top left and bottom right), the
scheme enables babies to get swimming from an early age through gentle exercises,
including floating babies on their back while getting them to focus on a mirror
they have subconsciously learned they will
happily ‘swim’ and keep their head above
the surface for several seconds.
Another tried, tested and hugely popular
part of the session is to float the babies on
their backs while holding a mirror above
them to help them watch their reflection.
This is another method to get babies to
appreciate the water in a relaxed way.
The babies are also encouraged to turn
around and reach up for the side whenever
they get into the water. A simple instruction
followed by physically moving them to the
side will be repeated until it is second
nature. The results of this practice recently
came into sharp focus when a baby girl,
who had been on one of the courses, fell
into a pool and immediately grabbed the
side without panicking and waited to be
retrieved by her grateful parents.
However, the classes don’t just answer
a practical need. “It’s a very moving and
emotional experience – the child is entirely
dependent on its mother or father,” says
Karen. “While splashing around the babies
look at their parent for security and this
enhances the bond even further. From a
parent’s point of view it’s also a great way to
meet other people, exchange parental
experiences and get some exercise,”
Karen continues.
Basic instinct
Those with concerns about babies being
overwhelmed or scared in this environment
can rest assured. When a baby enters the
pool for the first time it’s normally a joyful
experience. They are so young that the
concept of fear is not developed enough for
the water to be as scary as it may be when
they reach one or two years of age.
Up until about six months old, babies
can deliver an amphibious kick when
temporarily set adrift by a careful
parent. The instinctive movement is an
evolutionary echo from a time when ‘we’
were sea-dwelling creatures, millions of
years ago. Babies also have the ability to
go underwater for a short while without
swallowing water. These prehistoric
techniques are all extremely useful in
this very modern venture!
If you’re interested in getting in the pool
visit babyswimfoundation.co.uk. For
more on Karen’s swim schools go to
karenpickering.co.uk/swim.
PICKERING PROFILED
Karen was born in Brighton in 1971
and began swimming at a very
early age. By 14 she had been
selected for the British team.
The fearlessness of youth and her
exceptional talent produced some
memorable performances, signalling
the beginning of an illustrious career.
Over the next 19 years she secured
no less than 73 titles including four
World Championship gold medals
and more precious metal at the
Commonwealth Games and
European Championships. Karen
also represented Great Britain at the
Barcelona, Atlanta, Sydney and
Athens Olympics before finally
retiring in 2005. In 1994 she was
awarded the MBE.
Karen reflects: “I loved being a
professional athlete. You had to eat
and drink the right things and train
constantly, but making sacrifices was
worthwhile, because I was always
determined to win.
“It was difficult at first when all that
came to an end and I had to think for
a long time what I wanted to do. It
would be impossible to replicate the
feeling of winning major medals but I
can use the knowledge and passion I
have to make a difference to people’s
lives and that’s really rewarding.”
As well as supporting the campaign
to get babies in the water Karen
runs her own swim schools and
commentates on BBC Radio 5 Live.
What’s your story?
Have you had any memorable
experiences in the pool with
your baby? Why not let us
know by writing to:
newgeneditor@nct.org.uk
Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 25
 Plan your
pregnancy
online
www.nhs.uk/
pregnant

26 Newgen Magazine Autumn 2009


Two’s company
Three mums tell us about their experiences of pregnancy second time around
and their thoughts and feelings on the impact it’s having on their toddlers
Maura Gilliespie, mum to Zak, aged
21 months and Zara, aged 12 weeks
I found out I was expecting when I was 16 weeks pregnant. I’d fully
breastfed my son Zak and must have conceived when weaning
him. I didn’t have the crippling tiredness that I’d had during the first
trimester of my first pregnancy but I had no time to think about
being pregnant this time so once a week I’d go to pregnancy yoga
so I could focus on my second baby.  splitting my time, working out what to do when I had a
I wanted to take more control for my second birth – the first
time around I thought a midwife would help and support me
during the birth. This was not the case. It was a very lonely and
Experiences
“I was excited that Zak
would be having a baby
sister or brother”
scary experience and, rather than having support, my
husband and I were left alone. I had no idea how to cope with
the pain so I ended up asking for an epidural. It then surprised
me that I had a midwife allocated to me full-time to watch
the monitor – I’d have preferred that attention when I was
labouring naturally! My waters broke at 36 weeks this time
around and, while I didn’t get the water birth that I wanted, I
did have a positive birth experience.
At 11 months old, my son Zak was too young to understand
that I had a baby in my tummy when he was first told but he did
enjoy rubbing cream on it as I grew. At first I was scared that
when I carried my son or when he leaned on my stomach
during story time he’d squash the baby, but my midwife allayed
my fears and explained that the baby was well protected. 
To help prepare Zak, we got a picture book called My New
Baby by Annie Kubler that we looked at together to explain
what would happen when we brought home his little baby
brother or sister. I also got him a baby doll so we could play
babies – but with the baby coming a month early we didn’t do
as much role-play as I thought.
When I was pregnant I was excited that Zak would be
having a baby sister or brother to play with but I was also a
little sad as Zak was still a baby himself and would now have
to share my attention. I need not have worried, as the first
time my husband brought him to see me and baby Zara in the
hospital he was so excited with her. His third word was her
name – well ‘Rara’ to be precise. I am sure this will now
stick as her nickname.
It took me a few weeks to get used to having two babies;
newborn and a toddler both crying at the same time,
but 12 weeks down the line I can’t remember what it
was like just having one.
Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 27
 Experiences

Kathryn Holme, 35 weeks pregnant Myfanwy Thomas, 37 weeks pregnant

and mum to Reuben, aged three and mum to Finn, aged 15 months

My husband and I were six

months into a two-year “We felt it I have always felt assertive about asking medical
professionals for what I wanted, but second time around
placement as VSO volunteers
in Eritrea when I found out I was a good I am much more confident that I’ll get the best care
possible. I had a wonderful midwife with my first child
was pregnant the first time.
We made the decision to time to try Finn who kept me calm throughout the whole process,
even though I had to be transferred from having a lovely
come home at the end of the
academic year when I’d be just for another water birth at the last stages to the consultant-led unit
because of meconium in my waters.
over three months pregnant.
The first ten weeks were baby” Finn is a bit young to know that my growing bump is unusual.
However he sometimes laughs and pats my tummy, which is
difficult as I had morning quite sweet. If he sees me getting dressed he sometimes does a
sickness, which made work very hard. It was also hard for my double take!
Eritrean colleagues to understand why we wanted to return to I’m worried about coping with two children so close in age.
the UK rather than have the baby there. We wanted to make Financially I’m concerned about whether to go back to work or
sure we had the best possible health care provision so did not not. If we had them both in nursery it’s doubtful whether in my
consider for a moment staying in East Africa for the birth. current job I could earn enough to cover the cost – so we may
Luckily, everything worked out OK and I spent the six need to look for alternative arrangements.
months before Reuben’s birth sorting out our new house I am expecting Finn to be upset and jealous, but I’m hoping that
and relaxing. I particularly remember taking a nap and a as he’s still so young he will very quickly forget what it used to be
bath every day as well as tuning into Diagnosis Murder. like with just him. We have made some practical arrangements
This time our pregnancy was planned. With Reuben in the house like moving him into a much bigger and more fun
approaching his third birthday and being completely toilet room with lots of toys to keep him entertained – we did this well in
trained (even at night) we felt it was a good time to try for advance so that he doesn’t

“I am
another baby. Again the first ten weeks were difficult but with associate it with the new
tiredness this time, not sickness. I found myself unable to do baby ‘pushing him out’ of his

expecting
very much, which Reuben found distressing as he’s used to old baby bedroom. Once the
me playing with him most of the time given that I am a baby is born my husband is

Finn to be
full-time mum. Reuben has, however, been incredibly excited going to take quite a bit of
about the baby who he’s named Susie (we don’t know the time off work so that Finn

upset and
sex). Whenever we go into a shop he picks things up and says will always get attention
“Oh, shall we buy this for Susie?” He also talks to ‘her’ and from one or the other of us

jealous”
asks her when she will be coming out. I am confident that when he wants it – at least
he will be a caring, loving big brother. in the first few weeks!

28 Newgen Magazine Summer 2009

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Summer 2009 Newgen Magazine 29

 holidays

VILLA PIA Lippiano

www.nctsales.co.uk

Let us take the stress out of holidays with young children

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Our beautiful barn conversions are situated in a quiet
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Relax in ½ acre ofhadenclosed
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Domaine For more infomation or to make a booking
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A wonderful holiday

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Heated
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Home-cooked meals for all the familythe family
family Contact owners Lara
Contact:
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Contact: Helen Humphrey
Helen
Contact:Helen Humphrey
HelenHumphrey
on 00
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on00
00
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8383
1683 have fun” or Mark on (01273) 249617
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Family Farm Holiday Cottages

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ourrural
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Feed the ducks on our wildlife pond. Well equipped and safe for children. Easy access to Easy Large gardens, play room, games room.
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family and many family attractions.
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Very special * child friendly * relaxing * Highly recommended. VisitBritain 4 & 3 stars
Torridge House Cottages
Little Torrington, Devon 01805 622542 www.torridgehouse.co.uk

3030newgen
newgenmagazine Summer2009
magazineSummer 2009
 holidays
CHARENTE MARITIME, FRANCE
Pre-school toddlers and babies need a holiday as well!

www.nctsales.co.uk
NORTH
NorthNORFOLK’S
North
Norfolk’s
Norfolk’s
BestBest BEST CHILD-FRIENDLY
Child-Friendly
Child-Friendly
Cottages
Cottages COTTAGES
North Norfolk’s Best Child-Friendly Cottages
* South West France – second sunniest region in France after the Côte d’Azur
* Only 4 hours from St Malô, one hour south of La Rochelle airport
* Self Catering holiday complex 20 minutes from beaches
* All have fitted kitchen with dishwasher, DVD player, and Laundry room on site
* Large heated pool with toddlers’ pool alongside all enclosed
Big SkyBig Big
Barn, SkyBrancaster
Barn,
SkyBrancaster
Barn, Brancaster The Stables,
The Stables, Thornham
The Stables,
Thornham
Thornham Manor
Manor Manor Norton Cottage, Burnham Norton * Children’s swings, sand pit, tree house, safely enclosed in large grassy field,
HaveHave
a realaa“home
Have real“home
real “home
fromfrom from
home” home”home”
experience experience
experience
and enjoy and
and enjoy
the enjoy
unspoilt
the the beauty
unspoilt
beautyunspoiltandbeauty
and wide wide and wide sandy beaches of separate covered play area
the North ofNorfolk thecoast between Old between
Hunstanton and Wells-next-the-Sea.
sandy sandy
beaches
beaches theofNorth North
Norfolk
Norfolk
coastcoast
between Old Hunstanton
Old Hunstantonand Wells-next-the-
and Wells-next-the- * Licensed bar, fun wine tasting, BBQ for all, evening floodlit swim, family fun night
Sea. Sea.
Based in Burnham Market we have around 120 of the best holiday cottages in the area, most of which are
BasedBased
in Burnham
in Burnham MarketMarket
we have
we have
aroundaround
120 of120
theofbest
the holiday
best holiday
cottages
cottages
in theinarea,
the area,
much-loved second homes. All are very well-equipped and furnished to a high standard, with bed linen DUE TO REPEAT BOOKINGS AND POPULARITY ONLY AVAILABLE MAY,
most most
of which
ofBrancaster
which
are much-loved
are much-loved
secondsecond
homes.homes.
All are
Allvery
are very
well-equipped
well-equippedand furnished
and furnishedManor
Big Skyand
Barn,
to a high
towels
to a standard,
provided. We can provide cots and high chairs
high standard,
with with
bed linen
bed linen
and towels
and towels
provided.
provided.
We can
Weprovide
in all ofThornham
The Stables,
can provide
cots and
the cottages, arrange experienced
cotshigh
and high JUNE AND SEPTEMBER
baby-sitters, offer advice on the best child-friendly places to eat and suggest local places worth
chairschairs
in allin
visiting.
ofall
theofcottages,
the cottages,
arrange
arrange
experienced
experienced
baby-sitters,
baby-sitters,
offeroffer
adviceadvice
on theonbest
the best * Reduced ferry prices and out of season rates
Have a realplaces
child-friendly “home
child-friendly places from
to eattoand home”
eatsuggest
and suggest experience
local local
places
places
worthworth and
visiting. enjoy
visiting.
PleasePleasethe
contact unspoilt
contact
us andus and beauty and wide
sandy beaches
help help
us Please contact
find
us the
find right
the of theusNorth
right
place place
for and helpNorfolk
your
for your us find thecoast
family:
family: between
right place for your Old Hunstanton
family: and Wells-next-the-
Telephone: 01328 730880 Contact Henry and Janet Wilce (direct) 0871 717 4105
Website : www.chezbelliveau.com
Telephone:
Telephone:
01328
E-mail: 01328
730880730880
info@sowerbysholidaycottages.co.uk • www.sowerbysholidaycottages.co.uk
Sea.
E-mail:
E-mail:
info@sowerbysholidaycottages.co.uk
info@sowerbysholidaycottages.co.uk
Based in Burnham Market we have around 120 of the best holiday cottages in the area,
www.sowerbysholidaycottages.co.uk
www.sowerbysholidaycottages.co.uk
most of which are much-loved second homes. All are very well-equipped and furnished

Elmfiin alleld
of theFarm
cottages,Cottages
North Norfolk Cottages
to a high standard, with bed linen and towels provided. We can provide cots and high
chairs arrange experienced baby-sitters, offer advice on the best
Near Canterbury Kent
child-friendly places to eat and suggest local places worth visiting. Please contact us and To advertise
help us find the right place for your family:
Telephone: 01328 730880 in this space,
E-mail: info@sowerbysholidaycottages.co.uk
www.sowerbysholidaycottages.co.uk please call
Looking for a child-friendly Two adjoining brick and flint cottages sleeping 8 each
plus cot. Recently restored to high spec with range cookers,
Lucy O’Neill on

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Children can meet our friendly guinea pigs,
chickens and ducks and have plenty of space
to play. Close by are beaches and many
family attractions including castles and safari
parks. Each cottage sleeps 4 + cot.
Tel: 01227 709404 or visit
For everything you need for pregnancy, birth and your baby visit
holiday in Spain?
0207 306 0300
GCH and log fires, child friendly gardens. Ideal holiday
base for families with young children - beach (Brancaster)
4 miles, playground 2 minutes walk, lots to do with
ext 206
pool. Situated on Costa Dorada, 3 minutes from under 5’s. Child friendly pubs and restaurants.
the beach. Near Barcelona and Reus airports Dogs welcome. Bed linen, cot, steriliser, high chair.
(cheap flights) Family friendly, fully equipped for
babies and toddlers. Tel: 01438 821962
www.norfolk-lettings.co.uk
For info call 01932 782 050 or
email enquiries@villafleur.eu.com

baby & you

www.elmfieldfarmcottages.co.uk www.villafleur.eu.com

Le Vieux Café
Pretty, 3 bedroomed cottage in SW France.
Sleeps 8. Comfortable and child friendly.
Coombe Mill
From £250/week
10% discount to NCT members

Child friendly farm holidays on

m
m

idyllic Cornish 30 acre estate.

www.holidaycottageinfrance.com m 01208 850344 www.coombemill.com

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Summer
Summer2009
2009newgen magazine 31
newgenmagazine 31
 baby & you
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3232newgen
newgen Summer
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magazine 2009
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 Experiences

Learning curve
Helping patients has always motivated nurse Garance Lawrence, so it’s no surprise
she’s training to become an NCT antenatal teacher. She tells us how she got there
I’ve been interested in women’s health
for as long as I can remember. In fact,
this passion became my career when
I worked on a gynaecology ward as a
staff nurse.
After four very rewarding years on the
ward I decided it was time for a change
so I moved into district nursing. I enjoyed
visiting and caring for people in their own
homes and I also got a lot out of working
with patients – teaching them to care for
themselves and giving family members
advice on how to give care to their relatives
when I wasn’t there. However, I missed my
specialist involvement with women’s health
and wellbeing.
Initially I’d considered training to be a
midwife, but it’s a big commitment and,
with a young family, I knew that I would be
putting unrealistic pressures on myself. So I
began to research other avenues. Poised at
the computer, I began to search for other
specialities that were connected with
pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding.
It was during this search that I stumbled
across the NCT website and discovered its
specialist worker training. I downloaded the
information pack on becoming an antenatal
teacher and began to read; it sounded ideal
– a perfect combination of providing care
and guidance to people that needed it and
a chance to get involved in an area I was
passionate about.
The next step was to talk to the tutor for
my area, Ann Roberts. She was enthusiastic
and encouraging. I spoke to her about my
worries regarding juggling my training while
looking after a young family. She reassured
me by explaining that yes, the diploma
will be hard work, but I’ll be able study
at a steady pace. Most importantly, she
explained that the training is ‘family friendly’
with the additional bonus of a huge amount
of support from Ann and fellow students.
After that phone call, I attended the next
monthly tutorial to meet the other students
and to ensure I’d made the right decision
– I haven’t looked back!
Prior to this I had no involvement with
the local NCT branch and I was unaware
that such specialities existed. Indeed, in
my area there is a shortfall of antenatal
teachers and these classes were hard
to source when I had my children. We’re
working hard to change this.
Preparing for the course has been
In my fascinating – I’ve had to learn to leave my
experiences of pregnancy and childbirth
area to one side. This has been difficult. It’s very
hard not to talk about such a monumental
there is a event in one’s life. I realise it has little place
when teaching parents-to-be, as they will be
shortfall of coming to learn about their pregnancy and
how to prepare for their own birth. But my
antenatal experiences will allow me to be empathic
and understanding.
teachers. We’re I’m really enjoying researching different
working hard to births (homebirths and waterbirths for
example), which, sadly, I didn’t do when
change this I had my children. I am extremely lucky
to have my friend Lizzie, who is a very
experienced senior midwife at our local
midwife-led birthing unit, who has given me
lots of advice and help. Thank you Lizzie!
At the end of this month I am taking on
the role as class supporter at one of the
local NCT antenatal classes. I am really
excited about this; it will give me an insight
into what I am really letting myself in for.
It will be an absolute privilege to be part of
these people’s lives and their momentous
road to parenthood.

Coming up in Newgen Don’t miss the next exciting edition! We’ve got a
Illustration: Greta Dickmann

complete review of our annual conference, an extraordinary study of baby’s names

– and all the trends and curiosities that go with that! Additionally, we will be featuring
some of your amazing fundraising efforts, the results of our incredible summer photo
competition and finding out what our cheeky monkeys have been up to…

34 Newgen Magazine Summer 2009

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Splash About International Ltd is a UK registered company number 5581094 Photography © daniellaboutin.com; waterbabies.co.uk; ABCbaby.co.uk; Firstfocus.co.uk; Swimbabes.co.uk