How To Find Your Dream Job

Foreword by Steve Linder, founder of SRI Coaching
12
TRADE SECRETS OF A HEADHUNTER
RON NASH
Copyright 2008 by Ron Nash. The Friend Zone is a registered trademark of The Nash Group, LLC. 1st printing 2008 United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this book may be produced in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in connection with the reviews, written specically for inclusion in a magazine or newspaper.
Design by Lindy Bostrom, Bostrom Graphics www.bostromgraphics.com Editors Chuck Brown Michelle Matisse Meredith Wade Web Expertise Charlie GrinWeb Expert www.webexpert.us Video Expertise Bob Laws
ISBN 978-0-557-02826-9 Printed in the USA http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/
Dedicated to:
Big Ron
If I dont see you no more in this world, Ill meet you in the next one and dont be late
Jimi Hendrix; Voodoo Child (Slight Return)
What People are Saying

Rons Friend Zone techniques were right on the money when it came to nding the job of my desires and closing the deal. Ron was able to translate my needs and the needs of the hiring company into a workable solution that beneted both parties. His creativity landed the deal; his techniques for the interaction between the parties closed the deal. Dr. P. Landesman, Allergan, Inc. My understanding and employment of the secrets disclosed in this book have caused my business to soar! With the Friend Zone approach, there are new possibilities that have come my way that I never even knew existed. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in taking their careersand livesto the next level! L. Bostrom, Bostrom Graphics Rons coaching and communication style has sent me on the journey of a lifetime to discover my dream job. Through the ups and downs of the entire process he instilled the courage and passion needed to uncover what was buried deep and even hidden in my heart. Everyone at ANY age should take the time to experience Rons process for forging their own career path that will ensure a lifetime of joy and fulllment. Susan Whalen, Assistant to Cesar Millan Ron is consistently in touch with the business world around him and always able to advise and guide his clients to become more successful. Ron brings a personal touch to his business, making his clients feel condent and relaxed in his abilities. He is willing to take calculated risks and create new opportunities to grow his business and his life. E. Ostrowski, Principal Engineer; Cardinal Health Ron is outstanding to work with, a master negotiator and creative opportunity strategist. Ron nds a way to add tremendous value in everything he does. M. Millen, VP of Sales, Anthony Robbins Companies Ron is a recruiting management visionary. He has perfected the methodologies of working smarter rather than harder. He has many full-cycle recruitment techniques, which when applied can make your job search easy and successful. Im a walking, talking example of how successful his Friend Zone techniques really are. He has a track record of providing outstanding service to clients and candidates. J. Schut, Executive Recruiter, Newport Search
(Click on titles to link to pages)
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I Foreword .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . V Introduction .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . XI
PART 1: THE FOUNDATION

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 The Secret of a Compelling Vision .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 The Secret of Understanding Yourself .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 The Secret of Language: Internal and External Dialogue .. . . . . . 27 The Secret of The Law of Attraction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 The Secret of a Dream Job Board .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 The Secret of Goal Setting .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
PART 2: THE TRADE SECRETS

Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 The Secret of Resourcefulness; The Power of Social Networking.. . 59 The Secret of an Enticing Resume.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71 The Secret of Clarity and Process. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
Day 10 The Secret to Phone Interviewing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85 Day 11 The Secret of Interviewing in Person .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Day 12 The Secret to Closing the Deal (The Oer) .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 Conclusion .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114 Exercise Addendum.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116 Additional Resources. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130 Final Note .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134 About the Author .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135
Acknowledgments
here are so many people Id like to thank for their love and support. Id like to send many thanks out to my wife. Michelle has been a con-
stant inspiration to me over the last many years. Thanks to my patient kids, lan and Sunnaya, who understand that when dad works too much, it is their responsibility to disrupt him so that he can remember that playing is also important! To my mother who has always reminded me that, The race is not given to the swift, but those who endure. To Mr. John Bancroft who has been a mentor and an angel to me in so many ways. To Mr. Steve Linder of SRI coaching (TheStrategyGuy.com,) who is a Master Neuro-Strategist. To my friend and bro Gene McNaughton for always believing in me. To Lindy Bostrom of Bostrom Graphics (Bostromgraphics.com) who always has my back (love you my friend!) To Mike McElroy (Videowantads.com) thank you so much for the shark analogy: I am only focused on dry land as opposed to the shark behind me. To Charlie Grin, our web expert (www.webexpert.us,) you are the best! To Bob Laws for his undying video
expertise. To my buddy for life, Ken Hamilton of Total Tech (1totaltech. com,) for taking the torch and running with it! To Mr. Chuck Brown, my editor and savior who is a groovy, talented musician as well. To my brother Gene-O who always gets the job done. To Mike (Curly) Bannan. To Mike Mitchell, his left brain/right brain introduction has done wonders for me. To Matt Carpenter for his contribution on interviewing. To all of my friends who have allowed me to coach them into the jobs of their dreams! Id like to thank you, the reader, for taking time to order my book. It is my hope that you thoroughly enjoy the information that I share with you and apply the techniques and exercises to attract the job of your dreams in any economy. Thanks to God for the wonderful gift of serendipitymay it be your guide in this amazing journey through our dreams!
The winds of greatness are always blowing; it is you who must raise the sail. Nor Shan
Important note from the author: Finding a job will be one of the most challenging journeys most people will take, however nding your dream job will be one of the most rewarding journeys if you take it. This book is a journey about discovering who you really are, because your greatest resource is you.
FOREWORD
Reader, its in your hands for a reason, at this very moment in time, at this very moment in your life, and fortunately, at this very moment in your career. Consider this a gift from the universe. The true question is, what will you do with this valuable gift? Will you simply put it down and choose to become like the average person who lets life lead them along or will you choose to accept the gift of insight and foresightand choose to lead your life by design? If you are reading this, youve already accepted the gift. Now what exactly is the gift youve just accepted? Many people want money as a giftthey may end up nancially rich yet emotionally impoverished. Many people want the gift of a hand outyet they will become dependent. Many people want the gift of things to be done for themyet they will never be self-sucient, let alone learn how to empower others. The gift you now hold in your hands is the gift of true insight and should
elcome to The Friend Zone. Consider that with the millions of books around the world, this one, this very book, is now in your hands.
be devoured by your eyes, mind, and soul. Again, consider this a gift from the universe. Thousands of people have created this gift for you. Through their triumphs and tribulations, they have spent years giving you all of the thousands of elements of this gift. The universe has also selected the ultimate gift giverRon Nash, author of this book. Youll nd Ron Nashs approaches and strategies extremely insightful. These insights are not just from Rons decades of matching an individuals unique gifts with the needs of an organization, but his true understanding of how and why we do what we do. Like Ron, I spent years working my way up from sleeping on a oor after being red from Sizzler Restaurant because I wasnt Salad Bar Team-Lead material, to ocer positions with companies like Charles Schwab, Montgomery Securities, Nations Bank, Bank of America, and E*TRADE. Everyone around me and in the media was so impressed with how I could accomplish all of this by the time I was 25 years oldheck, I was even stunned by it. Now, years later, I look back at the strategies I usedmany of which were learned not through a formal education, but from learning experiences in life. I failed many times. I had strategies that simply did not work. One year I had eight jobs and my only big accomplishment was that I had eight W-2 tax stubs while everyone else had just one. Luckily, I was able to learn from those experiences. I learned to transform those failures into learnings. Expressing these lessons at times was difficult because I could only see
from my perspectivenot both sides as Ron will share with you. As I grew into management and leadership roles, I began to recognize the strategies I was running that led to my past failures. I learned what worked and what didnt work. I also began to model those who had achieved what I wanted. I didnt know exactly how they did it at the time, but I knew they had a magical set of keys. In this book, you will nd the magical keys to nding a career of your dreams. Ron has taken decades of experience as one of the top recruiters in the eld and compressed his knowledge into 12 days of learning. His strategies are truly actionable. He urges you to implement them immediately. In looking back at my own career, I can see how, had I owned this book, it would not have just accelerated my career ten-fold, but it also would have added even more fulllment into my life. Rons passion exudes from every page. If youve ever had the opportunity to hear him speak from the stage, his electrifying persona kicks you in the *#@*! to step up and implement each of his strategies. What truly sets Ron apart, however, is his caring heart. As the reader, you feel his sincerity and warmth. You might think it would be dicult to get excited about a book on employment, but this is NOT a book about employmentits a book about fulllment. Get excited about that! You will not only learn how to attract a job, but also how to live your lifes purpose in a way that rewards you emotionally and nancially. This is not a
pump-you-up, feel-good book. This is a book about tapping into your personal power, and tapping into the needs of companies and organizations that need your gifts. You will also nd that this book is a form of protection for the most important thing in the worldyour life. What do I mean by protection for your life? Simple. Look at all of the people in rush-hour trac. Count how many are actually smiling in their cars. Youd be hard pressed to nd one in ten. Why? Because they are going to work. They are exchanging their lives for moneyalways a losing trade. They have essentially sold out to the dollar (or whatever your currency is.) They are stuck in jobs that they either dont like or that dont like them. They feel they have no choice. Theyve lost sight of their gifts (which are always there, just not explored.) They have given up on fulllment, let alone actually getting paid for living a daily life of fulllment. They have focused on what they wanted to avoidand attracted it. You wouldnt happen to know anyone like thatwould you? They (eh-hem, you?) took the best job with the resources they had at the time. They forgot how to dream. They werent exposed to the latest in personal development/fulllment psychology. They didnt have a coach. They didnt have someone who truly cared about them. They didnt have someone with over a decade of experience in matching personal fulllment with companies that need positions (full-)lled. They didnt have what you now have in your hands! They didnt have Rons caring, insights, years of experience, and
actionable strategies. Having this book is not enough to be fullled. Reading this book is not enough to be fullled. Using what you learn here is almost enough. Realizing your gifts, the value you add to the world is more than enoughit is the art of fulllment. Allow Ron to help you experience the art of fulllment and reap the rewards of nding the career of your dreams. Welcome to The Friend Zone! To your success and fulllment,
Steve Linder SRI Coaching TheStrategyGuy.com
INTRODUCTION
ver since I can remember, I wanted to be a rock star. At the age of four I can remember asking my parents for the toy drums I saw in a cata-
log for Christmas and getting them. I was so excited to get the drums that I banged on them everyday from sun up to sun down for several weeks. I actually played them so much that my oldest brother Michael decided he had heard enough drumming and proceeded to put his foot through the drums, which were made of heavy-duty paper. That was the end of my drumming career for a few years. I eventually got a new set of real drums, but nally became attracted to the guitar, which is still my primary instrument. My dreams of rock stardom are still very alive in my heart. I truly believe that we can imagine and attract any circumstance that we desire, including our dream job or career. The Law of Attraction is a major part of this feat, which I will talk more about later. My rst memory of consciously using the Law of Attraction was when I was
ten years old growing up in San Francisco in the hood. I asked my parents to
buy a guitar for me and their response was that I wouldnt stick with it, and a guitar was too expensive. At that time, I could have given up on my dreams and not pursued getting the guitar, which would have had lasting implications on my life going forward. Fortunately I was a motivated dreamer, so I decided to nd another way. Back in those days we had something called trading stamps and redemption centers. If you know what these were, you are showing your age! Trading stamps were like postage stamps, but used like coupons that could be redeemed for merchandisei.e., washers, dryers, household appliances, and guitars! They came in green or blue colors and were given out at gas stations, grocery storesvirtually any place you could spend money. The amount of money you spent would yield a certain number of trading stamps that could be redeemed at centers all over the United States. As serendipity would have it, the redemption center had a guitar and amplier combination in their catalog the same month I decided that I wanted a guitar. I was so excited that I literally slept with the catalog and looked at it every day. I spent most of my waking state imagining what it would be like to play my new guitar. I was so diligent in collecting the stamps that every time I went to the store or gas station with anyone, I would ask if I could have trading stamps. Fortunately, many people enjoyed seeing my youthful vigor and supported me by giving me their trading stamps. It took about 3 months to collect several thousand stamps, which was the amount necessary to get the
guitar and amplier. This was a monumental achievement for a ten year old! The feeling of standing at the redemption center knowing I was getting the guitar and amp of my dreams was priceless, but more importantly, I learned that I could imagine anything I wanted, and with action and clarity, achieve my dreams. This lesson has been a major part of my belief system ever since. I applied the Law of Attraction later in life as well. In 1998, I had worked for a recruiting company for three and a half years and had made them and myself quite a bit of money. However, my entrepreneurial spirit was getting restless and I was longing to be my own boss again. In addition, my wife was pregnant with our rst child. Our beautiful daughter, Sunnaya, was born in January, 1999. I took some time o from work to enjoy being a new father, and we also traveled to Europe for a while to visit with my wifes extended family. By the time we got back I had made the decision to be my own boss again and not to work for a company anymore. It was perhaps not the most opportune time to make such a decision, since my wife had stayed home with the baby, and we had depleted most of our savings. My wife and I went into a furious dream-mapping session outlining my new career. We mapped out everything about it: what I was going to be doing, how much money I was going to earn, the fact that I would work for myself, how I was going to feel about my work, what types of clients I was going to have, how happy I was going to be! I lived every day passionately with these images as though they
were real (this is extremely important.) Building ones business does not happen overnight. After about three months, no deal had closed. I was ready to give up and return to the company I had worked for. At that time my wifes encouragement and belief in me and our vision together bridged the gap to having a successful business. She went back to work to support us and I also had to ask my parents for a loan to keep us going. It was the rst time that I ever had to reach out to my parents for money in my adult life and I was quite humbled. I was used to giving and not receiving. I promised my parents that I would repay their loan by the end of the month. I had no idea how I was going to do this, but I believed that I was able to attract everything necessary to accomplish my goals. In addition, my wife and I decided to buy our rst home. We had no clue how we would accomplish this either. We started to describe in great detail the home that we wanted to live in, how it would feel to live there, how bright it was, how many bedrooms it had, how many bathrooms it had, how many square feet it was, the way the yard looked, the amount of light that came into the windows, the neighborhood, and the school our daughter would attend. We wrote down everything we could imagine which made the picture real in our minds. We also took extensive trips all over southern California looking for our dream home. The amazing part of this story is that after I decided to not give up on my dream of running my own business, everything started to improve. I got my
rst new clients and deals started to close. I was able to pay my parents back as promised, and it only took six months before my wife and I built the house of our dreams and were able to buy it. I tell you these stories not to impress you, but to impress upon you that we all have the ability to imagine anything we desire and materialize it. It is likely that there will be a period of time in your life when all things seem to fail and you want to give up. These are the times that will test your faith and also make you stronger. Keep pressing forward and do not give up. There is a great quote by William Feather: Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. It also helps to surround yourself with people who believe in you and have your back. I was fortunate to have my wife, my parents, and several good friends who supported me in my greater vision and who encouraged me when I felt like I might not make it. This brings us to now. Ive had my own business and have been a successful executive coach and headhunter for 15 years. I have also used the Law of Attraction techniques in recruiting, and as a result, Ive been one of the more successful headhunters in my industry. I decided it was time to share my experience in the form of a book and to create a user friendly Website (www.TheFriendZone.tv) which would allow me to assist and coach even more people to find their dream jobs or careers. Ive had the pleasure of working with Fortune 500 companies such as Microsoft, Cardinal Health, Allergan, Baxter, Tyco Healthcare, The Anthony
How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession
Robbins Companies, as well as various venture capital companies and a variety of smaller startups. The one thing that all of these companies have in common is their need for human assetsin other words they have to hire the right people. The challenge that job seekers face is in nding the right company to match their internal visions. Many times we know what we dont want, but arent clear on what we do want, which is why visualization is a must. I am extremely condent that when you take advantage of the information in these pages and on my Website you will not only learn to attract the job and career of your dreams, but you will also enhance the quality of your life. The only thing I ask is that when you start the 12-day workshop, you commit to completing the entire program. Do it with an open mind and the expectation of nding your dream job. The only other thing youll need is a fresh journal which Id like you to call My Dream Job Journal. Ive included one as part of the curriculum in the e-book series. You can also buy a printed one online at our store. The journal will be helpful in doing the exercises and tracking your progress.
Dont Lose Your Marbles!
any people leave their dreams behind when they enter reality. Some will choose to work in corporate America, some will start
families, and others will choose dierent paths. The thing I would like to encourage you to do regardless of your choice of paths, is to remember your dreams, stay close to your passions, and dont let them get so far away that you forget them. According to the story Peter Pan, when Uncle lost his mar-
bles, he no longer remembered who he wasso dont lose your marbles! Creating your dream job is not only about nding a job or career you love, its about being clear on what you want out of life and doing it. One of the many challenges that people face in pursuit of their dream job/career is lack of clarity. Without clarity, there is no compelling vision, without a compelling vision, there is no purpose, and without purpose there is no passion. I encourage you to live with a compelling vision until the day that you die. This is truly one of the secrets to living a fullling life. Additionally, I am reaching out to the people who have dedicated themselves to being out of the work force so that they could help raise their families. Thank you for your unselsh love and commitment to the backbone of our planetthe family! Many times the challenge of re-entering the workforce can raise our internal fears and sometimes paralyze us from taking action. Remember this: action creates motion; motion creates results. The old adage goes: If you give a man a sh, you feed him for a day; if
you teach a man to sh, you feed him for a lifetime. The Dream Job Online Coaching System is about learning how to sh. I truly believe that if you can learn the skills that Ive learned over the past few decades, youll be able to use them for a lifetime. I am committed to sharing the latest cutting-edge information with you to assist you in creating the job or career of your dreams. If you take the time and apply yourself to learning this system, you will attract everything you desire. I hope that the words on these pages cause ideas to spring from your mind, doors to open, and walls to fall. Your past is not your future. Look forward at times, and behind occasionally, but always remember, your path is always where you are: the present, your gift from God.
Ron Nash
YOUR COMMITMENT
This program is designed to stretch you, which means to help you grow. If youve made the decision to nd your lifes purpose and to Attract the Job of Your Dreams, make the following commitments right now: 1. I commit to completing the entire workshop and exercises in 12 days. I commit to taking this step because: ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 2. I commit to being totally responsible for what I get out of this program. I commit to taking this step because: ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 3. I commit to being open and trying things I havent tried before. I commit to taking this step because: ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 4. I commit to playing all out, even when I dont feel like it. I commit to taking this step because: ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ 5. I commit to using this information to better myself in every way. I commit to taking this step because: ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ Signed____________________________________ Date _______________
How to Use The Dream Job Online Coaching System

The FriendZone.Tv Website is lled with information and videos designed to enhance the topics in this book as well as provide other tools, training, information, and resources to enhance your personal development. If you have purchased this system through The Friend Zone website, youve automatically purchased access to the membership area of the site, which houses the videos, additional trade secrets and other valuable information. If you purchased this book through Amazon, Borders, Barnes and Noble, or another retail channel, or if this book was a gift, you will need to go to www.TheFriendZone.Tv and purchase the Dream Job Coaching System module, which is the interactive portion to the book and is a must to complete the program. By purchasing the Dream Job Online Coaching System, you now have access to The Friend Zone Website to assist you in your learning during the 12-day workshop. You also get a FREE Dream Job e-journal that is available for download on the site. The Dream Job e-journal is designed to follow the book, step-bystep, and allows you to record your progress. Today Id like you to go to www.TheFriendZone.Tv and familiarize yourself with the site and the navigation. Your password will give you access for 90 days from the time you register. There will always be new videos, content, links, and other useful information added to enhance what we are oering. Keep watching! Its also a social networking opportunity for job seekers and employees, executives, and people interested in career expansion and development. Please sign up to be a LinkedIn networking partner on the home page. I trust that you are a person of honor and integrity and will use this password for only your own personal development. Also, feel free to comment on the book and sitewe are interested in growth and constant improvement, therefore your feedback and participation are extremely useful and appreciated!
Part 1
THE FOUNDATION
Castles made of sand fall into the sea, eventually Jimi Hendrix
Day 1
Where there is no vision, the people perish; but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. Proverbs 29:18
that the rst group dwarfs the other based on their accomplishments. The rst group is very excited about life and approaches each day with passion and zeal. The second group is more focused on the challenges and problems of each day, and demonstrates a lack of passion and zest. One thing that Ive noticed that is a constant in people who are excited about life is that they have something that propels themsomething larger than a goala compelling vision. Ive also noticed that people who arent as excited about life dont have a compelling vision driving them. What is a com-
The Secret of a Compelling Vision
n my studies of human behavior, I have observed two groups that have more similarities than dierences, however, the dierences are so vast
pelling vision? Its something that is so large in scope that it takes a lifetime to achieve it. Take Walt Disney as an example, he had a compelling vision that we can all see and experienceDisneyland. This vision was so large that it literally possessed his being to produce a result larger than himself. Mohammed Ali is anotherhe set out to be the greatest boxer in history, and to this day, there hasnt been another who has matched his vision. The I Love Lucy show was one of the rst to be shown in over 70 countries, but more importantly, Lucille Ball achieved her vision of being a Hollywood mogul in a time when women werent regarded as equal business partners. Her company, Desilu Productions, became one of the most successful TV production companies of its time. Lucy became the rst woman to head a major studio, and one of the most powerful women in Hollywood. These are only a few examples of people with compelling visions, and Im sure you can think of more, but the real question that Id like you to ponder is what is your compelling vision? Can you think of something that excites you so much that youd have to take a lifetime to accomplish it? Ok, maybe thats a bit large to contemplate, however, a compelling vision is something that is massive, but realits a burning desire that has the capability of keeping you focused on it until it is manifested. Be mindful that this is not necessarily going to be a thought like starting Microsoft or Nike. It may be as simple as having a family and raising children, or having a ower shop where you can be around owers all day. You will discover your true inner desires when you
4
DAY 1
are aware of what your passions are. Additionally, your passions may never be something you make money from or a career out of, but you will never know until you try. Creating your dream job is not about standing on the sideline and only admiring people with the courage to tryits about jumping in and doing it. This comes with a high price. In the sales profession, there is an old adage: the higher the risk, the higher the reward. I liken this idea to the guard that stands outside of the gates to the Kingdom of Life; who asks everyone who dares to enter if they believe they can succeed. If you dont have the courage necessary, you will not write your name in the Book of Life. On TheFriendZone.Tv, I have included seven videos from friends who I consider outstanding in their lives and business endeavors. These are seven ordinary people who have done extraordinary things because they took chances on themselves regardless of the adversity they faced. They also tell the stories of their trials and tribulations in the process. I hope that these stories serve as inspiration to you in your journey to manifesting your own dream job or career. Most of us dont have a specic system we use to help us break through our fears and challenges in life, thus we leave our dreams abandoned on the roadside like old cars. We simply use our intuition, or gut, to establish whether we want to do something or not. While this is not right or wrong, its simply a system that has no science. When we approach things systematically, and use
5
all of our sensory acuity, we can be more eective in accomplishing what we set out to do.The Dream Job Online Coaching System is about bringing the best of personal and career development into the same arena. I truly believe that you cant have what you imagine unless you know who you are. You see, the only way you can inuence others, is by inuencing yourself. On TheFriendZone.Tv you will nd techniques that are tools to help you recognize your own lters and behaviors which, in turn. help you to identify others lters and behaviors. Once you have an understanding of how your brain processes information, youll be better prepared to use your sensory acuity and communication skills to achieve a desired outcomecreating your dream job!
Exercise:
All exercises require an Audio and/or Video Course that is only found in the Dream Job Online Coaching System. Please go to our website (http://tinyurl.com/n3yev3) to complete the daily exercise.
Online Coaching System
DREAM JOB
Day 2
Whose side is your brain on? Its either for you, or against you!
As many of you know, the brain is a very complex organism and is the central command post for every single thing that happens in our bodies and our lives. There are many books and studies on the brain and how it functions, however, it still remains a large mystery to the general scientic population. Dont let this chapter scare you away, this is the foundation of the book and the key to understanding how you view the world. This is by far one of the most important pieces of information that you will ever learn, so hang in there and get a dictionary if you need it! Never read past a word you dont understand. One area of study that Ive been extremely intrigued with is Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), which is the study of how our minds work and how we
7
The Secret of Understanding Yourself
oday we have a lot of work to do, so get comfortablegrab yourself a cup of coee or tea, or whatever your pleasure is, and lets get going!
can program our minds to work for us, as opposed to against us. I was so intrigued with the eld that I became a certied NLP therapist. Although Ive been a career strategist and headhunter for many years and have developed many intuitive coaching techniques, NLP has allowed me to create processes for implementing lasting change, which will be used in this book. I became an NLP therapist because of a phase I was going through in my marriage. I had somehow created the belief that I wasnt happy in my marriage after 11 years and that I wasnt sure if I wanted to continue being married. Now, the fact that I have two amazing children weighed heavily on my mind and my decision-making process. So when I heard about an NLP course that was being given by an incredible individual named Steve Linder, who is a Master Neurostrategist, I was ready. I didnt know what to expectI simply knew that he created one of the best NLP courses in the world, SRI Coaching. Steve actually teaches a hybrid of NLP called Neurostratology, which is one of the cutting edge incarnations of NLP and NAC (Neuro Associative Conditioning.) NAC was developed and made popular by Anthony Robbins. The information that I learned from this course not only helped me to salvage my marriage and family, but also helped me to understand myself and why I was asking questions that were causing me to spiral downward. I learned that the questions I was asking myself had nothing to do with my wife. As partners in relationships, whether they are marital, corporate, family-based, or another type, our ability to understand ourselves is the key to eective commu8
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nication. How do you think our world would benet if everyone on the planet communicated more eectively? The reason for going into depth on the brain is to give you some distinctions and insights into yourself.
The Six Senses

This is going to be slightly technical, but hang in there. I promise there is a method to my madness. The brain uses something called models. In essence a model is a blueprint or a map. Like a map, a model is not necessarily true, it is just a representation of reality. One of the major discoveries of the 20th century is the basis of personality and how to change it. This model, which is essentially a model from Cognitive Psychology, was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. It is called Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), and it explains how we process the information that comes into us from the world around us. One of the modern leaders in this eld is Anthony Robbins, who has created a series of programs using Neuro Associative Conditioning (NAC). He has created a number of audio, video, and live programs that create lasting change in our lives utilizing this technology which is rooted in NLP. In the NLP model, the process begins with an external event that we experience through our senses. Our cognition of the event occurs as we experience the information that comes in though our sensory input channels which are: Visual: The sense of sight. Some people are extremely visual by nature. For example, after youve spoken with someone who is very visual, they
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may respond with I see what you mean or I need to see what youre talking about. Visual people are more comfortable seeing things in order to come to conclusions, including what we see or the way someone looks at us. Auditory: The sense of hearing. Auditory people are more inclined to use terms like I hear what youre saying or I read the document, but can you explain what youre talking about please? Auditory people are more comfortable hearing the details. This includes sounds, the words we hear, and the way that people say those words to us. Kinesthetic: The sense of touch. Kinesthetic people are more likely to use terms like I feel you or I dont feel like this is right for me. They focus on external feelings, which include the touch of someone or something, the pressure exerted, and the texture. Olfactory: The sense of smell. This may be someone who has to smell their food before eating it. I used to do this quite a bit. (Important note: dont wear perfume or cologne to a job interview. Not everyone relates to the smells that you do.) Gustatory: The sense of taste. This may be someone who has to lick you before they determine whether they like youOK are you paying attention? This is someone who prefers tasting things before making decisions. For example, in a restaurant the person who is gustatory is going to want to taste things before making a nal decision. Have you ever been to din10
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ner with someone who wants to taste everything on the table including the food from everyone elses plates? Intuition: The sense of knowing or insightyour sixth sense. Many of us have developed a deep gut feeling or an instinct that if ne tuned might serve us well. This is an intangible sense that has been considered unproven or taboo for a long time in Western culture. However, we are now moving into a new era of a deeper understanding of ourselves and our minds. Thus, our sixth sense is the newcomer to the board of sensory input channels. In order to get in touch with your intuition, try the following exercises. During a meeting or an interview become present to the moment by redirecting your attention to your breath. Pay attention also to your surroundings, colors, pictures, or photographs, and plants. What do they tell you about the person or the organization? Are the plants well taken care of? Does the environment appeal to you? Is the space well organized? Do the people working there seem relaxed, happy, stressed, bored, excited? As you get better at picking up clues, you will also come upon the symbolic meaning of certain appearances. The universe uses signs as its language. However most of us have to learn how to understand this language. Have you ever seen the movie Bruce Almighty with Jim Carey? In one scene he drives down a street and exclaims God, just give me a
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sign! Meanwhile there are red lights ashing and stop signs everywhere. To get better at noticing the signs take some quiet time after a meeting or an interview and mentally walk through the experience again. Is there anything else that you might notice or think about; is there anything that feels right or alternatively wrong? By the way, as you become more intuitive you will notice that the veil between your own thoughts and those of others will thin. You will pick up on what they are thinking and if they have practiced their intuitive skills they will answer to your unspoken thoughts. Finally, get a nights rest to let your intuition be at work. Sometimes you might have a dream that will clarify your intuitive insight. Journaling your experiences and your dreams will further evolve your intuitive skills. Intuition derives from right brain activity. Everyone uses ALL of these sensory input channels, some more than others. There are dominant ones that each of us uses which determine our overall sensibilities, however, we all posses the same core sensory perceptions. After an external event comes in through our sensory channels, and before we make an Internal Representation (IR: your internal picture or interpretation) of the event, we lter the event. We run that event through our internal processing lters. Our internal processing lters are how we delete, distort, and generalize the information that comes in through our ve senses. For example, a candidate had a job interview and met with twelve people during the course of the day. Ten of the twelve people seemed to really like the
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candidate; the nal two people on the interview schedule were hard for the candidate to read, therefore the candidate thought the interview had taken a turn for the worse, and that there was no longer a chance to get the job. Is this assumption true?
The Human Filters: How We Filter the World

Deletion: Deletion occurs when we selectively pay attention to certain aspects of our experience and not others. Deletion means we overlook or omit certain sensory information. Without deletion, we would be faced with too much information to handle in our conscious minds, and would probably live in padded rooms! In the example of the candidate who interviewed with twelve people, the candidate chose to delete the previous ten positive experiences and focus on the last two people who were not as readable, according to his/her perception. This is neither right nor wrong, it is simply the way that we process information. Distortion: Distortion occurs when we make shifts in our experience of sensory data by making misrepresentations of reality. Distortion also helps us in the process of motivating ourselves. Motivation occurs when we actually distort the material that has come to us and that has already been changed by one of our ltering systems. Distortion is also helpful in planning. We distort to plan when we construct imaginary futures, for example, a candidate has a telephone interview scheduled for a job that s/he is interested in. Although the interviewer is scheduled to call
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at 3pm, the candidate begins to anxiously wait for the call at 2:30. The phone interview takes place and everything seems to have gone very well. The candidate now begins to construct an imaginary future of working at the company and gets very excited. This is part of the magic of visualization and distortion. Generalization: Generalization is one of the ways that we learn, whereby we take the information we have and draw broad conclusions about the world based on one or more experiences. Normally the conscious mind can only handle seven, plus or minus two, topics of information at any given time. Try this: can you name more than seven products in a given product category, for example, a brand of coee? Most people will be able to name two, maybe three products in a category of low interest, and usually no more than nine in a category of high interest. There is a reason for this. If we did not actively delete information all the time, we would end up with excessive amounts of information bombarding us. Try opening up a bunch of windows on your computer at the same time. The computer slows down drastically while trying to process the information, and, in fact, if you open too many functions at the same time, the computer might crash. That is why we lter informationit is a necessary function of the brain. Have you ever looked at the same event and come up with a completely dierent conclusion than your spouse, or friends? Why didnt they have the same
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response? The answer is: we delete, distort, and generalize the information that comes in from our senses, by using certain internal processing lters. The unconscious mind does the deleting, distorting, and generalizing; the conscious mind uses what is left over. Metaprograms: Meta means over, beyond, above, or on a dierent level, i.e., operating at an unconscious level. This is very similar to how a lower-language software program runs your computer, which is usually called System Level Software. They run on a dierent level so that MS XP and Vista can operate on top of them eortlessly. Metaprograms are deep-rooted mental programs, which automatically lter our experience and guide and direct our thought processes, resulting in signicant differences in behavior from person to person. They dene typical patterns in the strategies or thinking styles of an individual, group, company, or culture. You may have seen some of the tribes on the Discovery Channel who pierce their lips with huge pieces of material to expand their esh. It is considered beautiful to this culture, but may not so beautiful to another. These ideas are based on our strategies and thinking styles. Metaprograms are just one of the ways we maintain our identities by either preserving or breaking down the generalizations that we make over time. Knowing your metaprograms can actually help you closely predict your psychological states, behaviors, and actions. It is extremely useful to know whether you are a candidate interviewing for a job or an
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interviewer interviewing a candidate. In addition, we can change the ways a person lters information for a certain purpose. The purpose of metaprograms is not to put people into categories or for the purpose of determining right or wrong. Metaprograms are not good or bad. They are simply one way we all process information. VALUES AND BELIEFS How we encode (program) our most cherished values, beliefs and attitudes also has a profound eect on our personality. With background information on how values, beliefs, and attitudes are formed, how they are encoded in the brain, and how we judge good and evil, or right and wrong, we can also predict our internal states in reaction to certain situations, and therefore predict our behavior. For instance, if you believe that drinking alcohol is bad for people and you go to a job interview that you are completely excited about which takes place over lunch, and the hiring manager decides to have a few martinis, you may have a dierent perspective on the company and hiring manager based on your own values and beliefs. Values create the primary feelings that determine our motivation and therefore our actions. Values aect how we choose and evaluate our actions or the actions of someone else, i.e., the hiring manager. This is not good or bad, its just a way we use our lters to make sense of all of the information coming into our brains. However there is a way to use this so that it serves you.
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Inside the individual there are parts (minor personalities, or systems of values) that maintain the internal workings of the personality and tie all the elements together. It is believed that conicts among the internal parts are responsible for many personality problems, including simple incongruities, as well as more severe health problems and personality disorders. On a daily basis, there are voices in our heads that give us directions or suggestions which cause us to spiral up or down. For example, there was a time when I was very bothered by the fact that my wife didnt organize the refrigerator and cabinets in our home with the labels a certain way. While in my own mind, this was important, my wife had no idea what I was conjuring up, until the issue became a mountain in my head and I exploded! It was my own internal conict and voices that caused me to spiral downward. When I nally realized what I had done, it gave me some more insight into myself, since she had no idea that this mattered to me. I realized that it was part of a minor personality system that I devised when I was a child. Do you see how complex this brain stu is? Were almost done. These are the elements that make up the personality in a normal, healthy human being (and even in those who are not.) Values: A value is a hot button that drives a behavior. Values provide the primary motivating force behind our actions, whether our actions are good or bad or right or wrong. Values are arranged in a hierarchy,
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with the most important one being at the top and the lesser ones below that. Each of us has varying models of the world (an internal representation of how the world is,) and our values are interrelated with our models of the world. When we communicate with ourselves or someone else, if our model of the world conicts with our values or their values, there is likely to be a clash. A principle value is a foundation upon which other values and measures of integrity are based. Values are considered subjective and vary across people and cultures. Types of values include ethical/ moral values, doctrinal/ideological (political, religious) values, social values, and aesthetic values. For example, some people will only work for companies that create products or services that contribute to the overall well-being of humanity, while others think that creating weapons of mass destruction aect the overall well being of humanity. This is simply a value statement, which is neither right nor wrong. Another great example of the presence and use of values was very apparent in a discussion with my wife about something that was built into both of our lives. She and I are from families that put a large value on cleanliness and neatness of the home. Her grandmother was an amazing homemaker, as was her mother. As a result, my wife feels like she is constantly not living up to the mark that her grandmother and mom have set. I also come from a similar family and am even more of a fanatic than my wife when it comes to a clean home. There are times when Ive suggested that our
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kitchen cabinets were not in order, which would trigger her hot buttons. She and I have talked about this, and agreed that her extreme reaction is due to the fact that she feels so much pressure to keep up with the way her mom and grandmother have kept their homes, combined with their criticism of her not being as tidy as they think she should be. There has been an internal conict as a result of this for many years, and fortunately weve recently been able to discover it. Beliefs: Our beliefs are a very powerful force in our behavior. It is common wisdom that if someone really believes he can do something, he will do it, and if he believes something is impossible, no amount of eort will convince him that it can be accomplished. Beliefs are convictions or acceptances that certain things are true or real. For example, I grew up in a family that supported the idea that, As a man thinks, so is he. This is a core belief that I still possess and use in the creation of my world. Once again, people derive their own conclusions based on their personal value and belief systems. These systems are not right or wrong, neither good nor bad; they are simply values and beliefs that we each have and are entitled to. Attitudes: Attitudes are collections of values and belief systems around a certain subject. We are usually quite conscious of our attitudes, and may even tell people: Well, thats just the way I feel about that. For example, some hiring managers have the attitude that unless you have
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a college degree you are not qualied to work in a particular company, regardless of your experience. This is not true, its simply an attitude. However attitudes are substantially harder to change than values because of the level of abstraction. Memories: Memories deeply aect a persons perceptions and personality. They are who we are. Some psychologists believe that as we get older our reactions in the present are reactions to gestalts (collections of memories that are organized in a certain way around a certain subject) of past memories and that the present plays very little part in our behavior. This ties in to the work that Oprah endorsed author Eckhart Tolle has done in his amazing book, A New Earth. Eckart talks about the pain body and how it is a portion of the ego that establishes its own form and existence in our minds. Pain bodies are collection memories that the brain recognizes as independent or external, similar to an external hard drive. The ego has convinced the brain that it is in control and that the mind and body are the by-product of its existence, in essence the ego sees itself as the origin of consciousness. Pain bodies are profoundly present in our society and have formed massive groups of consumers who they feed on to keep them alive. Have you ever gone to see a horror movie or lm about death and destruction? Most likely you have your favorite ones. Our pain bodies feed on these types of thoughts and images, thats how they survive. Pain bodies are large bodies or collections of pain-based memories, (if you havent seen
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the movie, What the Bleep do We Know?, I highly recommend it.) Decisions: Decisions may create beliefs, values, attitudes and even life themes, or they may just aect our perceptions through time. The problem with many decisions is that they were made either unconsciously or at a very early age, since most of our programming occurred between zero to six years old. Also, we may make these decisions at one point in time and then not re-evaluate our decisions as we grow and our values change. Have you noticed how this echoes the fact that many of the laws that have been made over the course of history remain unchanged? These six lters then determine what information is retained as we make an IR (Internal Representation) of any event. It is our IR that causes us to be in a certain state and creates a certain physiology. State refers to the internal emotional state of the individual, i.e., a happy state, a sad state, a motivated state, and so on. Why is it that two people can attend the same event, and one will love it, while the other hates it? The reason is because an individuals IR is so dependent on their lters. In recent studies, researchers determined that in conversation, seven percent of what we communicate to others is the result of the words that we say (of the content of our communication.) Thirty-eight percent of our communication to others is a result of our verbal behavior, which includes tone of voice, timbre, tempo, and volume. Fifty-ve percent of our interchange with others is a result of our non-verbal communication, i.e., our
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body posture, breathing, skin color, and movement. The match between our verbal and non-verbal cues indicates the level of congruency (harmony) in our communication. OK, its time to tie it all together. Now that you understand that you control your focus, what will you choose to focus on? How will you choose to feel? Lets begin to examine the tools for attracting the things of your choosing into your lifein this case the job of your dreams. Ten Important Things to Learn and Remember: 1. Every second, it is estimated that your nervous system receives around two million bits of important sensory data about the events that are happening around you. You interpret this information via your ve senses: visual (sight,) auditory (hearing,) kinesthetic (feeling and touch,) olfactory (smelling) and gustatory (tasting.) 2. Of course, we are not aware of two million things happening every second (because wed go crazy!) so our mind lters the information into about seven bits. In order to lter two million bits into seven bits it deletes, distorts and generalizes some things. 3. Deletions are important because they stop us from being bombarded by information that isnt relevant in the moment. For example, as you read this you were probably not aware of your breathing until it was brought into your awareness. 4. Distortions are when we make things better or worse than they really
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are. An example is the distortion lter that a sherman uses to describe the one that got away: Boy it was the biggest sh Ive ever seen! 5. Generalizations help us to relate things we are learning to what we already know. It also prevents us from having to relearn something every time we do it, such as walking. Generalizations can be limiting though. If a bad experience leaves us with negative beliefs, it limits our world. For example, if someone had a bad experience in a panel interview, they may now have the belief that panel interviews are not fair. 6. Using the seven bits of information that we have ltered we recreate the outside event inside our mind. This is called an Internal Representation. This means that what we represent to ourselves inside our minds is never true to what is actually happening in the event (because we have deleted, distorted and generalized bits.) We all delete, distort, and generalize dierently, so we all have dierent experiences of life. 7. The things we create in our Internal Representation aect the way we feel. In NLP, we call this state. 8. Our state aects our physiology (what we do with our bodies.) This is why happy people have a much more upright posture, and depressed people slouch downwards. (Incidentally, regular exercise is a great natural remedy for depression.) 9. State, physiology, and Internal Representations are interlinked and affect each other. This is why lucky people seem to attract more luck and
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unhappy people seem to attract more problems. We are designed to attract more of what we focus onbecause the Law of Attraction is real! 10. Our state, physiology and Internal Representations account for the behavior we then exhibit, which aects the results we get. Good results or bad results, either way we get results. One way to change your state is to change your physiology. For example if you are in a foul or depressed mood, exercise! Do something that sends a dierent message to the brain. When you change your physiology, the body chemistry is aected almost immediately and the mood shifts almost instantly. In fact, my wife used to suer from severe anxiety attacks and has managed to control them by waking up everyday at 5:30 am and jogging Shes done this for the past several years and her anxiety attacks have gone away! Think about it, have you ever seen a depressed professional athlete? In conclusion, this is why it is necessary to make sure you know which side your brain is on. You see, the brain is a very complex organism that has the ability to operate with or without your permission. It also has the power to create images like the holodeck on Star Trek, and will show you whatever reality that you believe. Good or bad, its your choice, therefore, I highly recommend that you take the reins and guide the brain in the direction of your choice, and be careful of the emotional pitfalls that you create for yourself. Remember, you cannot inuence others unless you inuence yourself! Learn to control and monitor your thoughts by monitoring how you feel. Its easier
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than monitoring what you think. For example, if you are not feeling great, do something that changes your state. If youre on the way to an interview, do something simple like jumping jacks or side twists, because this drastically changes your physiology, which changes your state.
Exercise:
DREAM JOB
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The words from your mouth are a reection of the sounds between your ears.
represent the way the brain sends and receives commands. Language is a by-product of thinking, and feeds back into your brain through your internal dialogue. Naturally, what you manufacture with the brain is what you get out of it, whether it is positive or negative. Equally, what you think is what you get. For example, have you ever known someone who uses language to blame others for their own shortcomings? (i.e., Why do they always do that? It bothers me, or Why did they make this package so hard to open? Its dumb! or they wont hire me, Im too old, or they wont hire someone of my color! or Theres no way I could ever do something like that!do you know anyone like this?
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The Secret of Language: Internal and External Dialogue

ow that you understand how the brain works, it is equally important to know how language patterns aect your results in life. Language patterns
A True Story:
I once had a client who was an extremely qualied Ph.D. in a certain discipline with over 15 years of experience to add to the degree. I presented this candidate with an opportunity that was in a similar eld, with some slight differences. I spoke to the hiring manager in advance, preparing her to highlight the dierences; with a focus on the relevant experience the candidate had. The hiring manager was excited to speak with the candidate and very motivated to hire someone for the position. I then prepared the candidate for a phone interview. Before the phone interview the candidate said, Are you sure theyre going to like my background? I dont think I am qualied for the position. I then asked why she thought she wasnt qualied for the position. She replied, While I have the experience and education, my experience is slightly dierent and so far all of the people Ive spoken to have not been able to get over my differences. I told the candidate, While you do have slight dierences, your focus should really be on what you can contribute and how quickly you can learn to bridge the gap between the dierences. You should focus on the relevance of your experience as opposed to what you lack. I could tell prior to my clients interview that the candidate was still using language patterns which did not support a win. After the candidate spoke to the hiring manager on the phone, it was obvious the candidate had focused on what she lacked and therefore was not considered for the position. She sabotaged herself with her beliefs and language patterns. Have you ever done something like this?
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While coaching this candidate it was obvious to me that her beliefs andlanguage patterns were defeating her eorts to secure another opportunity. Not only was she not having success looking for another opportunity, she was also having challenges as a manager at the company where she was employed. This candidate had been using language patterns that were not positive, therefore aecting everything she believed about her abilities and her life. She looked at the world with a skewed perspective by thinking that she wasnt good enough, thus, her language supported her perspective. The moral of the story is: Listen to the words coming out of your mouth, they represent what you believe.
File Transfers
This candidate was a victim of what I call le transferring. We all are. If you recall the information from Day 1, most of our programming occurrs between zero and six years of age. When we are children, our brains are molded. We are told what we should or shouldnt do, that we are smart or dumb, what God we should believe in, and how to worship. These are le transfers which primarily come from our parents or guardians, and because they take place at such an early age, they are deeply rooted in our unconscious minds. People are always telling us what they believe to be true, whether its rooted in fact or not. And because we are auditory and visual beings, we tend to believe what we are told without any question. Take a moment to consider this: if you are a religious person, its probably because you either had a profound
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experience which caused you to take on your faith, or you grew up in a family that promoted religion. There is nothing wrong with either, and you might have experienced both! To further illustrate le transfers and how they work nish these commonly-used statements: 1. Plop, Plop, Fizz, Fizz, oh what a ______________________________. 2. There are some things money cant buy, for everything else theres _____________________________. 3. Polly wants a __________________. 4. Our father who art in ______________________. 5. Chicken Mc ___________________. STOP! Answer these questions in your Dream Job Journal: What do you really believe? What is your purpose? Do you believe you deserve the job of your dreams? Be honest with yourself, because this is the best way to gure out why you might not have it. Pay attention to your true inner voice and turn o the critical one. What are some of your limiting beliefs about your dream job? For example, I dont know how to nd it, or I dont have a degree, or I dont have a computer, or I cant aord to change jobs. Maybe you think your teeth look awful and so you would never interview at a company that has people with nice teeth. Now that youve answered the questions, where do you think these beliefs come from? There are a number of things that we believe and many of these beliefs are based on le transfers. Do you surround yourself with people who support upward spiraling, or
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are you surrounded by people who cause you to spiral downward more often? You are known by the company you keep! If you want to live a life where you give yourself a chance to truly enjoy your power, be with people who have the same purpose. Sometimes leaving a peer group or an unhealthy relationship can be emotionally challenging, but you only have one life. Do you remember my rule of 23? How much time do you think you really have?
The Spiral Eect

Id like you to consider this right now: there are two dominant voices in your headone that spirals up (supports you positively) and one that spirals down (supports you negatively.) You can also equate them to the left and right hemispheres of your brain. Starting today, you are going to listen to your inner voice and determine when you are spiraling up or spiraling down. When you catch yourself spiraling up, give yourself a big smile and think something good (i.e., I love me, I am my biggest support, I am successful, I am extremely happy, I will have my dream job, I deserve it, etc.) When you catch yourself spiraling down, say something good as well (i.e., I caught you, you cant fool me into believing your lies, Im worthy of anything that my heart desires, its a natural law and God promised it to me, therefore, Im going to spiral up right now!) Set a standard for yourelf. Start with something you feel or have felt great about. Use that feeling as your starting point to measure and determine how close or far you are to where you want to be emotionally. Also, notice where your eyes are when you spiral up or down. When you spiral up, your physiology is most
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likely erect and in a strong posture, and when you spiral down, your physiology is in a more depressed posture. Change your inner language and it will reect outwardly. This will also help to balance your left and right hemispheres so that they are eventually in harmony. How does that feel? This is a simple system that I developed to help create upward thought processes on a moment-to-moment basis. I also use it as a coaching tool when I see people spiraling up or down. Its also good with my children, who get it! (OK, youve been reading for a while, where is your brain spiraling?) To summarize, there is brain chatter that constantly plays in our heads, it is the constant dialogue between the two voices that are ever-present in our minds. The trick is to identify which direction the voices are causing your brain to spiral. Since humans can only focus on one thing, on average, for 22 seconds, this will require regular practice. In some religions, meditation has been instrumental in helping focus the brain and lower the chatter. Yoga is the latest newcomer in Western civilization that has introduced ways of focusing the mind. The more successful you are focusing your mind, the more you will be able to access your internal power. I also nd that closing my eyes and breathing slowly for one minute while listening to my breath works well.
The Downward Spiral of Fear

Fear is a feeling attached to an emotion that has the tendency to paralyze people in their tracks. Dont let it! If you are afraid to re-emerge in the job market after having been out, or if you want to start a new business after hav32
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ing worked for someone else, or whatever the circumstance, dont let fear be the reason why you are not successful at trying. The downward spiral of fear is actually a friend in disguise, but when you allow it to rule your life, it will rob you of life itself. Dont get me wrongthere are times when its good to be afraid and run for your life. Theres no sense in being foolish. However, most of us allow fear to paralyze us to the point of being afraid to ask for help or advice in a time when we really need it. Some of us wont apply for a position because we fear that our experiences are out of date or that we will be rejected. Fear of rejection is a massive condition that many people suer from. You can beat it by simply taking action. The voice in your head that spirals down is there to motivate you if you use it correctly. I have trained myself to use the downward spiraling voice to get myself to take action on things that I would not ordinarily do. Fear can be used in front of you, like a wall, or behind you, like a great white shark. The wall is designed to keep you from moving forward, the shark is there to keep you moving ahead. How do you use fear? The voice in your head that sounds the fear alarm is actually a protective mechanism in the brain that is there to push us along and to keep us safe, not to harness and imprison us. In fact, if you allow that voice to imprison you on a regular basis and fall prey to inaction because you are afraid, near the end of your life, when youve realized what a mistake it was not to go for it, the voice in your head will be your eternal tormentor, compliments of yourself. Thus, be aware not to allow your life to be stolen by fear.
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The Spiral Eect with Drugs and Alcohol

Many people use drugs and/or alcohol to feel connected, which could be an attempt to be more in the right hemisphere. However, many people use drugs and/ or alcohol to also feel disconnected, which could be an attempt to be more in the left hemisphere. A word of caution when using drugs and/or alcohol: they can affect your state severely because the chemistry in our bodies is extremely sensitive. Drugs and alcohol block the transmission of electrons owing to the neurotransmitters in the brain. Neurotransmitters are chemicals that are used to relay, amplify, and modulate signals between a neuron and another cell. The transmitters become more sensitive in attempts to receive the electrical impulse; once the blockage is clear the transmitters are hypersensitive. Ask your doctor about prescription drugs and their eects on your electron transmission as welldrugs are drugs. Basically what Im saying is that if you use drugs or alcohol, you should know how they aect your brain. This can give you clues or insights into why you feel the way you do. Depression, anxiety, and other mood swings can be induced by what you put into your bodybe aware! This is extremely important to consider when interviewing. Your feelings will be determined by your body chemistry, thus, if youve stayed up the night before partying, you may not be on top of your game.
Exercise:
Online Coaching System 34
DREAM JOB
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You will, whether you are conscious of it or not.
The Secret of The Law of Attraction
ttraction is one of seven natural laws. Just like gravity or the expanding universe, it just is! There are still people who like to speculate and
argue these matters, but there are better things to use your time and energy onnamely, attracting the job or career of your dreams!
Human Energy Fields

Human Energy eldssounds like physics, but dont get scared away. Its pretty cool stu to know. We all have the ability to attract or repel based on the energetic eld that is created by what we think. This is the essence of The Law of Attraction. Basically, what you focus on mattersliterally, things become material when you give them a certain amount of focus. Think about it this way, someone had to come up with the thought or idea that is now a table or a fork, it didnt just happen. Of course things evolve over the course
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of time, however, everything in our physical universe starts with the same thinga thought. Clothing, houses, automobiles, schools, everything you can think of is based out of someones initial thought. Thoughts are powerful things, which is why its important to monitor how you use them. Our bodies have enough energy within them to power a city; the energy eld that I speak of is real. In addition, we are very similar to atoms because we can generate more energy by using thought to create friction. For example, have you ever been in a situation where you had a lot of pressure on you to get something accomplished? Most of us have. That pressure or friction that was felt as a result of the external circumstance going against your internal posture created more friction, which in turn created motion, and the outcome was energy. This energy can create energy elds that are maintained by your belief systems. As an example, if someone believed that a co-worker or boss didnt like them, this would most likely cause them to act dierently around that person. That single thought has the ability to resonate in your brain which in turn shows up in your physiology in a way that supports your imagination to bring forth what you envisionsomeone who dislikes you. You can also energize something that is of a more positive nature, for example, nding the love of your life. This is done using the same energetic eld which attracts anything that you imagine. In this case we are obviously focusing on creating your dream job. The trick to being successful at controlling what you attract is by controlling what you think. This is extremely challenging due to the
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fact that the average human has between 50 and 70 thousand thoughts per day, and can only focus on one thing for 22 seconds, on average. It is hard to monitor all that you are thinking because youd have to be conscious of all of your thoughts, all of the time! The easiest way to do this is by monitoring how you feelits much easier. As an example, if you catch yourself thinking about something that doesnt feel good, change your focus. For most people, this is extremely challenging, and it takes practice. For some people, anger is a state they derive power from maintaining due the feeling of signicance they feel. On the same note, there are many people who choose to feel great regardless to external circumstances. Theyve done the work to maintain this state. Remember: the energy eld that is most present attracts its likeness and repels the opposite. In other words, how you feel is attracting or repelling your opportunities, therefore, be aware of how you feel!
An Overview of the Seven Laws:

1. The Law of Polarity: Everything in the universe has an equal and exact oppositemale/female, night/day, long/short, funny/sad, yin/yang, etc. 2. The Law of Rhythm: Everything is moving in perfect rhythm and at perfect speed. If you have a problem believing this, Google astronomy and look at the cosmos. 3. The Law of Relativity: Everything is relative. Einstein was credited for this idea, however, its a natural law. Einstein was able to communicate this idea in a way that people understood.
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4. The Law of Cause and Effect: For every cause there is an eect, for every eect there is a cause. What goes up must come down. 5. The Law of Gender: Both male and female energy are necessary for creation. Try having a baby without the male or female contribution. 6. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy: Energy is forever, moving in and out of dierent forms. This is seen throughout nature, such as when a rose petal falls to the ground beneath the plant, it goes into the soil and the soil becomes richer. We sometimes see passing away in the physical form as death, but only because we cant see the physical form anymore. Energy is eternal though. When our sun ceases to shine, the energy it has emitted will still be a part of the universe. 7. The Law of Attraction: Based on the principle of vibration, nothing rests, everything has motion, and everything is moving. For example, your skin is made up of dierent molecules than your bones, which are denser. There are organs inside your body that have an even dierent density, and are very dierent from each other. Your heart is extremely dierent from your liver but the common thing that they all have are the molecules and atoms that keep them hovering together as a mass of energy. These organs have energies that vibrate at dierent rates, holding them together in the same body for dierent functions, completely independent of each other but working together as one to create your body. The Law of Attraction is about understanding how energy and vibration
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work. Its actually quite simple. When you think of something, you naturally use visualizationits the way your brain is wired. Its part of our deletion and distortion process. For example, think of a car you want and you will see in your minds eye, a picture of a car. You begin to attract the car when you emotionally charge the image with desire. This may sound a little out there, but trust me, its something that you already doIm only asking that you be conscious of it. An amazing example of a person utilizing the Law of Attraction would be Tiger Woods. Tigers mother and father began training his young mind at an early age, which has led to him being a modern day example of a person who understands and uses the Law of Attraction in a profound way. Look at some of his miraculous moments captured on tape. On a number of occasions he has literally willed the ball to do things that seem to defy the law of gravity. Im sure he doesnt even call it the Law of Attraction, he just does it, hence the Nike endorsement Just Do It! Tiger consistently visualizes his outcome with such intensity and clarity, that he magnetizes what he visualizes. Some people say that he wants to be the best golfer who ever played. I believe that he simply wants to beat himself, which is his perpetual reason. Im also certain that Tiger does all of the physical and mental preparation necessary to ensure that his mind and body are in sync. How about your ability to attract things? Have you ever seen something
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that you really wanted to buy? Lets use a car for this example. When you saw the car, you were so excited that you went online and researched it, passionately knowing that you had to have this car. You even went out and test drove the actual vehicle in the color you imagined that you owned. Not only did you test drive the vehicle, but you also took all of the literature from a dealership and hung pictures around your home and oce and wherever you could. Now lets say that you had no idea how you were going to buy the car, but a burning desire inside told you that you would have it and all you needed to do was believe. Unbeknownst to you as you look back from the original impression that you put in your mind, several months later you were driving the exact car you visualized. Now in your particular case, this may have been something else, like a house, a wife, a husband, a child, a trip, or an outt you wanted to buy. It could be a number of things, but my point remains the same: when you use your brain to visualize anything that you want, and you do it with an energy that feels like you have it, you then set The Law of Attraction in motion. We do it all of the timeit could be something as simple as getting a candybar, or a cigarette in a place where you didnt even think youd nd one. We really have access to miracles on a daily basis. My job is to help you realize that you are more powerful than you think. It only takes 17 seconds of focusing on something before a matching vibration is activated, and only 68 seconds until the vibration
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becomes powerful enough to manifest. Do this as a practice with a focus on your dream job or career and you WILL have it. Its a natural law and promise of God.
Intentional Magic
This has been an interesting week, even as I write this book! Our cell phone carrier turned o our business phones for some odd reason and cancelled the account. This occurred during a business conversation I was having. I immediately called tech support to see what the status of my account was, knowing that the bill wasnt due for a couple of weeks. After bouncing around in the technical support arena, I nally asked for a supervisor to see if I could get some answers. The supervisor I spoke to had promised to call me back by the end of the day, which was only a couple of hours away. A couple of hours passed and I received no phone call. Mind you that this is my connection to the world. In our home, we only use a land line for emergencies. My state was denitely shifting and I was a little perturbed! I decided to wait until the following day to handle this and went on a bike ride with my son. The ride helped change my physiology and I felt better, but was still a little perturbed. The next day I called to see if any progress had been made and the tech support person Id spoken to told me that it would be at least 72 hours before I would receive any resolution. I then suggested that I would need to speak with a supervisor. A supervisor was summoned and I got the person who hadnt returned my call just by chance because this is a large cell phone carrier. He
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apologized and said that this was an unusual situation and that hed never seen anything like it. He promised to call me by the end of the day. I asked the supervisor what he was waiting for and he replied that there was someone in corporate he needed to speak with. I asked for that persons name at corporate headquarters so that I could help speed the resolution, but he refused to divulge the information due to policy. Thank goodness Ive been a headhunter for a long time and know some trade secrets for getting ANYONE on the phone, which Ill discuss later in the second part of this book. I waited for his resolution and by the end of the day, did not receive a call. My natural progression was to reach out to the president, which I did, successfully. I sent a really nice but rm letter outlining my concerns about their companys inability to gure out what had happened and most importantly to follow up with a matter that involved me entrusting my business service with their company. By midday, I received a phone call from someone suggesting that the president had him personally deal with my issue and to apologize for the drastic misunderstanding. They also suggested that they would rectify the problem and do whatever it took to make me happy again. Now, the second day into this problem, I went to the person who had sold me the service and he instantly gave me a loaner cell phone with no question. He also got on the phone and called the carrier to see if he could get an answer. By the way, his name is Rocky, he owns a Postal Annex on Paseo Del Norte in Carlsbad, California, and he knows the meaning of service. We are now in a global
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village where everyone can compete professionally anywhere in the world. In my opinion when competition is so sti, service is the only tie breaker. On the nal day of the situation, when I stopped by to see Rocky, he gave me a second phone to let me use, I didnt even have to ask for it. I then went to Starbucks to see if I could try their new Pike Place Roast, but didnt have any cash. I had a gift card that read, free on Wednesdays only, and of course this was Thursday. Well, I walked in and waited in line with the intention that I wanted a cup of this new coee and that I would buy a cup if I liked the taste. I asked for a sample and the wonderful person at the counter let me sample the brew in a short cup, but lled. I asked what the cost of the coee would be and she said, My treat! I tell this story to let you know that while I was perturbed in this process, I remained focused on using my power in a positive way. I asked the universe, What is it that I need to learn here? and remained open for guidance. In the process I also thanked everyone in the customer service arena who truly helped me. It was the nally the receptionist at the corporate oces of the cell phone carrier whom I thanked for getting my message heard. A lesson for anyone who hears it, the receptionist, a secretary, or executive assistant is one of your most valuable resources! They are overlooked quite often due to our perception of their position in companies, but that is just an illusion. Secretaries. receptionists, and executive assistants are powerful people. The cup of coee at Starbucks struck a chord with me. That moment caused
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me to look at everything that had transpired and to be thankful for all of the things that were going right instead of the things that appeared to go wrong. This takes practice, but is very rewarding when the seas of life are raging around you. So, intentional magic is about choosing the state you focus on. As a man or woman thinks, so they are. By staying committed to keeping my energy pure and focused, I attracted a set of circumstances that worked for me instead of against me, and was given a complimentary cup of coee by the universe. Thank you God for all you do and have done and thank you Starbucks!
Exercise:
DREAM JOB
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When you actively participate in practicing what you think, you increase the chances of seeing what you will.
you do? Well, I am here to tell you that its true. In this chapter, I will share a process using a more visual representation that helps to get it into your unconscious mind in a more eective manner and its called a Dream Job Board. You may ask, what is a Dream Job Board? Well thats a great question and youve come to the right place. A Dream Job Board is a collection of images and ideas placed on a sheet of paper or a painters canvas based on a particular theme. Some people call this a vision board. In this case, you are focused on your dream job, therefore, the images you are interested in will reect the job that you want to attract; your dream job. This is an exercise that may
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The Secret of a Dream Job Board
f someone told you that the secret to nding your dream job/career was simply to write it down and focus on it with pure intention, what would
seem a little strange to people who are more left hemisphere focused. In any event, hang in there and try it out today, because this will help create balance within you.
Euclid and the Career Square

According to Euclidean Geometry, a square is a regular polygon with four equal sides. Figures are congruent when, if one of them were placed on the other, they would coincide exactly (congruent gures are thus equal to one another in all respects.) For those of you who have no idea how this relates to your job search or your dream job, let me simplify it. In my opinion there are four sides to a fruitful career: 1. People: you have to love the people. 2. Money: you have to earn enough money. 3. Growth: there has to be growth potential. 4. Balance: there has to be proper balance between work and lifestyle If at any given time any of these are out of balance with each other they would be incongruent, hence, the person experiencing the imbalance would be unhappy, and would eventually seek another opportunity elsewhere. For example, lets say you took a job somewhere, and you were being paid a lot of money, in fact more money than youve ever been paid. Additionally, lets say you saw tremendous growth opportunity and the ability to increase your income to be even greater in the future. However, after a certain amount of
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time you began to realize that you did not like the people or management team. Eventually you realized that you hated going to work every day because of the people you worked with. How long do you think you would last before wanting to go somewhere else? I am willing to suggest that most people would not stay for the love of money. According to my theory, your square would be out of balance. Lets take the same position and change the scenario. Lets say that you loved the people you were working with and the management team, the money was outstanding, but after being there for a while, you realized that there was no growth ahead, at least for the next several years. What would you do? I am willing to suggest that after a reasonable amount of time you would begin looking for another opportunity. Again, lets take the same position and change the scenario again. Lets say that you loved the people and the management team, and there was growth in your future, however, you werent making enough money to make ends meet on a regular basis, what would you do? I am willing to suggest that you would hang in there as long as you could before searching for a another opportunity. Finally, lets take the afore mentioned and suggest that you had all of the other three; money, people and growth, however, you were spending more time working than being a responsible partner in a relationship, a parent, or guardian, being tness or stress conscious, and/or enjoying life and hobbies. You would most likely be out of balance. Once again, when any one of these
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things are out of balance, at any given time, you will begin to feel the imbalance in your life. According to Euclidian Geometry, when a side of the square is unequal to one of the other sides, the square is incongruent, therefore, as you start constructing your Dream Job Board use this formula to help create clarity and balance so that you construct something that is congruent with your dreams and lifestyle.
The Euclidean Square Exercise
The four main reasons why people stay with or leave an employer are: PEOPLE
How do you feel about the people you work with?
MONEY
Are you making enough money?
GROWTH
Is there growth potential in your job?
BALANCE
Do you have work/life balance?
a. Your Co-Workers ______ b. Your Managers c. Executive Staff d. Others ______ ______ ______
a. Your Salary b. Bonus c. Salary Increase d. Co. Security
______ ______ ______ ______
a. Growth Potential ______ b. Your Growth c. Hiring d. Other ______ ______ ______
a. Work Hours/Time ______ b. Take Work Home ______ c. Personal Time ______ d. Spouse/Partner/ Family/Friends Satisfaction ______
Total: AVERAGE:
_____ _____
Total: AVERAGE:
_____ _____
Total: AVERAGE:
_____ _____
Total: AVERAGE:
_____ _____
On a scale of 10%-100% rate these 4 items by filling in the area that represents your rating, then fill in the space on the chart on the front of this card that corresponds with the number you have. A 100% rating would mean you are completely satisfied.
(To calculate average, take your total and divide by 4.)
PEOPLE
100% 90% 80% 70% 60% 50% 40%
Take your averages and ll in the areas on the chart to the left. Look at the pattern it creates. Is it balanced? Does the pattern match your ideal? You can download this chart as a PDF image from thefriendzone.tv. member area. Take it and print it out to use it ongoingly to measure your progress in attaining your career goals.
GROWTH
BALANCE
30% 20% 100% 90% 80% 70% 60% 50% 40% 30% 20% 10% 10% 100% 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% 80% 90%
10%
20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% 80% 90% 100%
MONEY
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Are You an Entrepreneur Stuck in an Employees Body?

Many of people have entrepreneurial tendencies that can be suppressed by being in a role that doesnt allow expression, freedom, or growth. For example, I found out a long time ago that I was an entrepreneur like my grandfather. It didnt take long to realize that I wasnt the best employee when I started down the career path. I wasnt a terrible performer, in fact Ive always prided myself on being exceptional at anything that I set my mind to accomplish. However, one of the things that became an issue for me consistently was being in jobs that didnt challenge me. I had a pattern of learning the positions that I took and being bored within a short amount of time. It is true that many employers want you to prove yourself before promoting you, that is, if the organization is large enough and they see your value. This is a route than can be fast paced or slow, depending on you and youre ability to work within a system. I made my nal determination to go all out and be Self Employed after I realized that I couldnt play by the house rules. That is to say, that I wanted to do things my way. You know how the saying goes: Its my way or the highwaywell, I chose the highway. My grandfather always said, When you get too old to live by the house rules, its time to nd your own house. I am not suggesting that being self employed is the solution for everyone, because it comes with a high level of required discipline and uncertainty. In fact, the entrepreneurial lifestyle has broken up many marriages and caused
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lots of pain to many people who walk the path, though there are many who have enjoyed the fruits of the path as well. I suggest that you take a look at the questions below and answer them honestly. If you think that you are more entrepreneurial, thats something youll have to decide.
Are You an Entrepreneur?

Is there an entrepreneur inside of you waiting to come out? Ponder these basic questionsthey may give you some insight into your true self. These questions will help gauge if you have entrepreneurial tendencies: 1. Do you feel like you want more from life than just a job? Your feelings are your way of measuring you desires, but you have to listen closely to hear what the message is. 2. Are you passionate? Passion counts for a whole lot when it comes to being an entrepreneur. It can be the thing that propels upward spirals in your daily life, even during the challenges of life as a business person. 3. Are you always looking for opportunities? Entrepreneurs are opportunity-seekers. Everything is an opportunity. 4. Do you always think to yourself, I can do that better? Every time you walk into a store do you have a thousand ideas on how to make it a better experience or how to transform a product into a better one? 5. Are you living your purpose? You werent born to work, you were born to live. You dont want to work more, you want to work smarter. You want your work to mean somethingyou want to leave a legacy.
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6. Are you a dreamer? Are you a big thinker with the ability to focus on details? Can you accomplish the little tasks while moving the ball forward? 7. Are you a builder? Do you like to create things? You dont care about recognition, praise from your boss, awards, and money as much as you care about building something remarkable, and having others enjoy it and benet from it. 8. Are you proactive? Too many people fake their way through life, or duck their heads when they dont know the answer. Your response is to jump into it, learn what you can, move quickly, and get some answers. 9. Are you a strategist? Youre not just thinking about tomorrow, youre thinking much further ahead than that. The dierence is that youre also a dreamer, and strategy plus dreaming is very powerful. 10. Are you from a family of entrepreneurs? I believe that entrepreneurs can be created, but some people also have genes that cause them to be more independent and entrepreneurial by nature. Being an entrepreneur doesnt mean quitting your job and starting from scratch. Many times it takes capital to ance your ideas, therefore some startup capital may be necessary. For some, this will come from continuing to work full-time, while running your small business on the side. The business could be as simple as oering your services as a consultant, or selling owers to wedding planners; the world is your oysterit is you who must nd the pearls. Some ideas will require more capital, time and commitment. You are the only one
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who can make that decision. Whatever you decide, do it passionately!
Be an Entrepreneur in Your Own Company

If you are an entrepreneur, you dont have to quit your job! In fact, the best managers and leaders of companies have great entrepreneurial minds. Maybe an assessment of the opportunities in your company is the best route for you to take. In fact, companies who allow internal entrepreneurship tend to be more successful than traditional companies that have more rigid structures. Allowing managers to be internal leaders or entrepreneurs promotes ownership, versus non-ownership. A guy named Ray Crock used this philosophy to grow a small group of hamburger stands that are now called McDonalds.
Dream Job Board Imagery:

The types of images youll want to use will be things that represent what you want to attract into your life. Be sure to use the present tense, for instance: 1. What type of product or service do you oer? 2. What type of people do you work with? Are you working with people who all love their jobs and are extremely enthusiastic about showing up to work and doing their job, or are you working with very assertive people who sell like sharks in a feeding frenzy, etc. (you could use pictures of people.) 3. What types of companies are you working forpublic, private, large, small, startup company? (you might use pictures of buildings, or companies, large or small.)
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4. Are you an entrepreneur? a. What types of service or products do you create? (perhaps use pictures of your favorite entrepreneursproducts, inventions, etc.) b. What are your passions? (you could use pictures of something you are passionate about.) c. Have you built a small, medium, or large company? 5. What type of role do you play? Manager, individual contributor, strategic, tactical? Who are some of your favorite examples? 6. What type of building do you work in? Bright, cubicles, open, luxurious? 7. How much money did you earn your rst year? Small base salary with a large commission? Large base salary with a small commission? Base salary plus bonus plus stock options? (be very, very clear about this.) 8. What type of manager do you report to? Micro-manager? Macromanager? A manager who works in a remote location? 9. What types of products or services are you involved with creating or oering? 10. How does this product or service to aect the rest of the world? 11. Is this a job that requires travel? How much10 - 20%? 50 - 70%? 12. How much time do you spend at work? Youre probably starting to get the picture. Now your job is to take images that represent these ideas. For instance, newspaper clippings, Internet images, magazine images, brochures, any way you can take visual images
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of these ideas to glue onto your board in some fashion that makes sense to you. It is important that you allow yourself to be completely imaginative and outrageous as you do this, and be sure to have lots of fun in this process. It is imperative that you have a high level of fun with this project because the brain is very much like the universe, it will attract the things we have deep feelings for. So play some music that makes you feel good, have a nice glass of wine, or do something that gets you into the spirit of feeling really good! Pretend this is a wish list to Santa and that everything you ask for will be given. OK, some of you dont believe in Santa, but this is about using your imagination to build a world that you deserve!
Exercises:
DREAM JOB
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When your must is big enough, you have no choice but to do what you must!
nation. For instance, you would most likely have a clear idea as to where your gas stops would be, where you would stop to sleep, and what type of weather conditions may exist in each state. You would probably have a good sense of what to do if there was bad weather in a given location. There are some adventurous people who would simply jump in the car and take o without a plan or an outcome or any money. For those of you who enjoy living that way, may life bring you the adventure you desire! For those of us who enjoy arriving at the destination of our dreams with certainty, know your outcome. My point is that these things take planning and
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The Secret of Goal Setting
f you were to drive from San Diego to New York in a car during winter, you would have to have a clear plan in order to arrive safely at your desti-
mapping, which is a form of goal setting. The same can be used in your career search. After all, creating a dream job or career is a full time job! Therefore, if you are creating your dream job, recreating yourself, in career transition as a result of the economy, the real estate market, college graduation, or simply a job seeker, be clear about what it is you dont want. This is an excellent way to understand what you really do want. Now more than ever it is important that you have a clearly dened outcome. Remeber, an outcome is your nal destination and goals are the milestones or check points along the way that help you to achieve your desired outcome. This goal setting session is one of the most powerful tools that you will use. It is taught by Gene McNaughton, the former VP of Sales for Tony Robbins and John Assaraf (The Secret). Genes passion and drive will inspire and help transform youif you do the sessions whole heartedly. This is your opportunity to design your dream jobdo it passionately!
Exercises:
To complete the daily exercise go to the Dream Job Online Coaching System: http://tinyurl.com/n3yev3
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Part 2
THE TRADE SECRETS

Today is my day; today I am all that I need to be, to be all that I am Nor Shan
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If you take one step, the universe will take multiple steps.
attract or create, the real question is: what do you need to do next? The answer is: take massive action! As a headhunter and career coach for the past decade and a half, Ive picked up some really eective tools of the trade, which have become extremely useful resources. The following are some of the tools that I use when I do one-on-one sessions with my clients to help their career searches. There are a number of networking groups and Internet-based networking groups, social networking groups, and resources at your disposal. Youre probably thinking where are they and how do I use them? The following are some resources and strategies that you can use right now to get started.
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The Secret of Resourcefulness: The Power of Social Networks

ow that youve created a road map, and the goal-setting workshop, and really understand the type of career or job you want to
Ten Valuable Friend Zone Resources for your Job Hunting 1. Networking Groups
Go online and research networking groups that pertain to the type of work you are interested in. For instance, if youre interested in growing orchids, there is a networking group, blog, or chat room dedicated specically to this eld of study or work. Also, some networking groups have physical meetings. I recommend that you get out and rub elbows, because there is nothing that is as powerful as human interaction. A great tool to help you with this task is www.Meetup.com. Meetup.com is an amazing online tool that can help you to identify groups of people in your community who are dedicated to physical meetings of all types. Specically related to your job search, there are meetings occurring every day with people like you who are sharing strategies and supporting each other during the job search process. This is a must for your social networking tool box! Staying physically involved in your job search will help manage your emotional state much more eectively than sitting behind your computer all day.
2. Internet Based Career Social Networks

Contrary to popular belief, social networks are not new inventions. Social networks are as old as the human species. Humans tend to congregate in groups we have things in common with, i.e., church groups, political groups, tness groups, biking groups, etc. A social network is a place where we create a hub of people we socialize with; hence, a social network is really not a
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new idea. However, the internet has created a way for us to connect faster and more vastly then ever. Just imagine, any subject that you are interested in studying or sharing with exists in a social network on the Internet somewhere in the world. The Internet has allowed the physical barriers to be removed based on our ability to connect. For a job seeker, this is a pot of gold if used properly. In just one of my networks to date Ive amassed a connection with 15 million peopleyes thats would be the M word! I cant imagine that out of 15 million people, if you were to join that network for free and learn to monetize my own personal network (which I have invited you to do) that you wouldnt be able to nd a job or nancing for your new business endeavor, or a connection to whatever your dream job is. There are a number of Internet social networking groups that have emerged over the past few years that are designed to put you in touch with people; some who are currently working at companies you may be interested in and some that you may have known in the past. These sites create warm introductions through a network of friends utilizing technology. On our website, Ive created links that go directly to several of my preferred social networks; these are the ones that I use in the headhunting process. LinkedIn.com is one of my personal favorite social networking sites. The Friend Zone has a group on LinkedIn that you can join once youve signed up to LinkedIn. Theres no cost. LinkedIn has a cool video blog that teaches you how to use its resourcesthey are ahead of the curve. The resources
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are immense. LinkedIn oers everything from job openings, to people you may want to network with. It can also help you reach people at companies you may end up working for. I have created and audio and video training in the Dream Job Online Coaching System that will take you through the entire process of using LinkedIn like a headhunter. This will give you a good solid overview on how to use this powerful networking tool. The following websites have interesting features that are extremely valuable as well: Jobing.com, a video based career social networking site, is on the cutting edge. Using video, jobing.com will share cutting edge interview techniques, to local companies interesting in hiring. They also have an awesome blog. Jobing has oces all over the U.S and growing Go Jobing! Facebook.com is amazing. There are over 175 million users as of today on Facebook and growing. The groups section is a pathway to nding jobs that are not posted anywhere else. Craigslist.orgyes, Craigslist. Its an amazing resource for nding jobs. Fastpitchnetworking.com is geared toward entrepreneurs and the selfemployed. Hoovers.comtheir connect mail feature is a resource that puts you in direct contact with many professionals via email. There is a service fee for this product, but worth it if you can connect directly. Twitter.coma new rapport building tool that has phenomenal poten62
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tial. There are also jobs being posted on twitter by recruiters! You may be asking, how do I use Twitter.com to nd a job? Let me tell you this, there are a ton of headhunters, internal recruiters (people who recruit for companies) posting jobs on twitter, you simply have to know how to use the tool to nd them. Plaxo.com has been a standard in the executive world for keeping the rolodex updated, however, theyve improved the business model substantially and have a social networking based site now that has the ability to put you in touch with decision makers. Plaxo has also recently added a new job search feature to their site. Plaxo is a gem, but you have to learn how to use it like a headhunter. Theres a newcomer to the world of social networks called VisualCV.com. this is a company that is blazing the trail on the new way people will be presenting themselves in years to come. Visual CV adds dimension to the resume or CV and allows an individual to present themselves to a company with a web-based resume or CV that has audio/video and/ or active links. The candidate has a new ability to create a multimedia presentation of their skills through this medium. While there is currently controversy in the HR community regarding images or videos of candidates because of potential discrimination claims, in my opinion this format will be the preferred method during the next decade. There is also a fairly new player on the block called ZoomInfo.com.
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Zoom info is a directory of people and companies (it might be a great place to also help create your list of 50 companies.) Zoom Info is a tool used by many headhunters and recruiters who are looking for Passive and Active job seekers. Zoom info gives you the ability to create a professional prole so that you can be found by someone who might be looking for your experience. There are a number of resources in the new world of the Internet and theyre growing every year; I recommend you also check out my blog on the website, I give a comprehensive list of other companies and social networks that will be of interest to you.
3. Blogs
A blog is simply a web log. There are blogs now on every topic under the sun. Look for blogs that pertain to your area of interest regarding your dream job. Yahoo, Google, and a number of other search engines post blogs, which drive trac to their search engine sites. Take time to nd a blog that pertains to an area or career that you are interested in. There are many experts who blog about things they are passionate aboutis there a blog or three that are pertinent to your area of interest? Blogs often times contain information and connections that lead to additional people to network with. Many blogs have the ability to allow you to subscribe via RSS feeds (Rich Site Summary,) this allows you to get regular feeds from the content producers of the site. Be sure to check out my blog on The Friend Zone.Tv.
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4. Chat Rooms
Chat rooms are simply computer aided conferences. Chat rooms are similar to blogs, where you can nd any topic, relating to any industry or any interest. Once again, we are really focused on attracting our dream job, therefore, when you search chat rooms online, you can go to Google or Yahoo, and most likely nd a chat room that pertains directly to your career. This also leads to other people working in those areas, and therefore, other resources that you do not currently have access to.
5. Canvassing
Canvassing is an old school technique that still works, especially in areas where the industry has established itself and the competitors are in the same neighborhood. Canvassing is the art of physically walking in an area and seeing whats there. Its the process of going into the actual company, getting a card from the reception area, and asking a few probing questions about the company and culture. If you build enough rapport, you can also get the hiring managers name, and in extreme rapport building cases, you can even meet a decision maker. The benet to canvassing is that you can get a sense of the company culture by being in the lobby for a few minutes. This can save you lots of time in the long run. Just imagine applying for a company online and getting into their lobby and being completely surprised at the environment; maybe in a good way, maybe not. I recommend that you view my rapport building videos before trying this.
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There are two ways to canvass: One is by getting out and driving the streets knocking on doors. The second way is to use the Internet to identify companies that you want to apply to. By the way, I recommend both ways.
6. Your Personal Network

Many of us have friends, family, or peers who currently have jobs or careers. They may work in a completely dierent eld of interest or a similar one, however, the real key is that they have friends, neighbors, and relatives who may have some type of anity for what youre doing. The question is, how do you reach the people in someone elses social sphere? The answer is to talk to your personal network, which are your friends, family, peers, and neighbors. Let them know that you read a book about attracting the job of your dreams and that you are looking for people to help you nd it. Put it out to the universe! Be sure to invite them to your Internet-based social networks, ie: LinkedIn or Facebook, Plaxo, Twitter, etc. This will allow you to expand your warm network very quickly within your friend network, and by now you probably know my mantra If your not a friend, your just another job seeker.
7. Newspapers
The newspaper is almost an antiquated way of getting information. It contains a tiny percentage of all jobs openings, and that number is declining. Thats because the Internet has replaced many of the newspaper industrys functions. However dont underestimate antiques, there is still information in newspapersmany are now published online for free! I do recommend that
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you use them as a resource. However, in my course, I dont recommend that you apply directly online to a company, or at least not initially. The rst thing youll want to do is put the company on your list and do some research, then use the Friend Zone technique that I teach in the video course that focuses on The Power of Social NetworksHow to Use LinkedIn like a Headhunter.
8. Trade Journals
If you have a specic trade, theres probably a publication that caters to your trade. These publications typically have job ads and other resources that pertain directly to your industry of choice. Many times there are also job boards that cater to your trade. Often these resources are free. The IEEE.org is a great example of the power of trade organizations. Theyve created their own social network that is humongous! Many organizations are starting to understand and utilize the power of the Internet, specically by creating social networks that attract unique visitorspeople who have a need for their specic niche. Many of these boards have jobs that are posted by companies, recruiters and others who are seeking the help of individuals with industry specic experience. Is there a network that exists out there that caters to your specic need?
9. Internet and Job Boards

Using the Internet to nd a job is a common practice these days. Many companies post internal openings on their web sites. A percentage of companies utilize job boards like Monster.com, Hot Jobs.com, Career Builder.com, etc., to post their job ads. I personally recommend using these job boards to
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identify opportunities to nd out what types of jobs exist out there, but not applying directly to these jobs via the Internet there is a better way. By the way, a few of my favorite search engines for jobs are: Indeed.com, Juju.com, and Simplyhired.com. We are constantly updating our list of job search resources on TheFriendZone.Tv. Again, use my video training course to fortify your internet searches, this will change the way you look for a job, forever!
10. Headhunters, Recruiters and Agencies

Headhunters and recruiters are similar, though there are some dierences. A headhunter is typically a person whos a third-party entity responsible for nding candidates to work for companies, even though candidates are considered clients as well. A headhunter is usually most loyal to the corporate client, because they are the party paying the bill. Recruiters are typically people who work inside of companies, most often referred to as internal recruiters. Their allegiance is to the corporate client as well, and their focus is on handling the administrative process between the hiring manager and the external candidate. An agency is typically a company that houses headhunters or recruiters. Many headhunters refer to themselves as recruiters as well. That being said, if you nd a good headhunter, they are worth their weight in gold. Honesty, integrity, and good communication is a must with a headhunter. When engaged with a third party headhunter or recruiter, this person should be your guide through the job-seeking process. This process requires open communication between you and your partner (your recruiter.) There68
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fore, there should be a high level of trust in this relationship. Be aware, there are many headhunters/recruiters in the business just out to make a quick buck. Screen them well and hold them accountable and they should do the same with you. A successful interaction with a good recruiter is a partnership. Keep a spreadsheet of all people and places where your resume is being distributed. This will pay o in the long run. According to research, there are more jobs than you thinktypically 1.2 million to 2.5 million new openings per month exist in the United States alone. So when you say to yourself you cant nd a job, the real question is: where are you looking and are you using more than one technique? Most importantly, you must focus on how to build relationships with people versus, simply applying online for a job. Burn my mantra into your brain; If youre not a friend, youre just another job seeker! The tools and sites that Ive just suggested all have one common theme: Rapport Building!
Exercise:
DREAM JOB
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A resume is just like a business card, dont make it too heavy.
The Secret of an Enticing Resume
he true purpose of a resume is to be an advertisement! There is a ton of free information on this topic, and there are also companies that will
write your resume for you for a fee. Either way, the purpose of a resume is simply to get you further in the process, and to get someone to notice you. The
average company gets thousands of resumes per week, thus, the average hiring manager or HR person spends three to fteen seconds perusing resumes, and when something catches their eye, theyll spend more time looking. The real question is: how do we get your resume to stand out? This is why calling into the company is by far one of the more successful approaches that headhunters use. However, when youve gotten someone interested, be sure that your resume is ready to be shown. I recommend that you pay a professional service to write your resume. You only have three to fteen seconds to grab the hiring manager
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or HR reps attention. When you grab their attention, there had better be a great resume in front of them. The cost of a great resume is worth the payo of an interview. The resume is a tool with one specic purpose: to win an interview. A resume is just an advertisementnothing more, nothing less. I recommend a few resume writing services on TheFriendZone.TV website. A great resume doesnt just show what you have done, it makes the same assertion that all good ads do: if you buy this product, you will get these specic, direct benets. It presents you in your best light. It convinces the employer that you have what it takes to be successful in this new position or career. There are three fundamental resume formats: Chronological, Functional and Combinational. These three resume writing formats highlight the positive points in you. Chronological Resume: A chronological resume format lists all your service experience and qualications in reverse-chronological order, which means, it starts with your most recent experience and proceeds further with your old experience. Chronological resume formats are more widely used than the other two types of resume formats. One more advantage of a chronological resume is that it is easiest to write. Functional Resume: A functional resume moves around your functional skill sets, rather than the various jobs positions you have held. You can omit previous employment
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history or put it in dierent section. This functional resume format allows you to highlight your skill set that suits the job you are looking for. It is very useful if you want to change your career outline in any specic eld. Combinational Resume: A combinational resume format, as its name suggests, is a combination of both of the previously discussed formats. It presents your professional experiences and qualications in reverse-chronological order within each functional skill headings. The best way to write your resume is by using this resume format if you are among those who have held many dierent positions in dierent elds. It is not suitable for entry-level jobseekers.
12 Friend Zone Strategies for an Enticing Resume

1. A resume is like an advertisement. The resume is not about past jobs; its about you and how you performed in those past jobs, which predict how you would perform in a future job. 2. The resume is visually enticing, is simple, and easy to read. As much white space between sections of writing as possible; sections of writing that are no longer than six lines and shorter if possible. Use white paper (no fancy colors) and 10 12 point font size. There have been a number of studies done on fonts and their appeal. The top three that have been perceived as more business-like are: Courier, Georgia, and Times. 3. The resume has uniformity and consistency in the use of italics, capital letters, bullets, boldface type, and underliningit utilizes parallelism
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in design decisions and has consistency. For example, if a period is at the end of one jobs dates, a period should be at the end of all jobs dates; if one degree is in boldface type, all degrees should be in boldface type. As mentioned above, the resumes rst impression is most important. It should be exceptionally visually appealing to be inviting to the reader. 4. Th e resume is error-freeno typographical errors, no spelling errors, no grammar, syntax, or punctuation errors, no errors of fact. Triplecheck this, and then have several other people read it for errors. The human brain has the tendency to skim words. 5. A resume has standard information. A resume must have the following key information: your name, address, phone number, email address, Linkedin address and/or Facebook address at the top of the rst page; a listing of jobs held, in reverse chronological order, and educational degrees including the highest degree received, in reverse chronological order. Additionally, targeted information will accompany this. Some information that candidates use is not necessary, but the standard information is a must. 6. The resume has consistency in positions and titles held. Jobs listed include a title, the name of the rm, the city and state of the rm, and the years employed there. Jobs earlier in a career can be summarized or omitted if prior to the highest degree, and extra part-time jobs can
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be omitted. If no educational degrees have been completed, it is still expected to include some mention of education (professional study or training, partial study toward a degree, etc.) acquired after high school. 7. The resume focuses on the employers needs, not yours. A resume should be targeted to your goal; to the ideal next step in your career. First you should be clear about what your job goal is, what the ideal position or positions would be. Then you should gure out what key skills, areas of expertise or body of experience the employer will be looking for in the candidate. Gear the resume structure and content around this target, proving these key qualications. If you have no clear goal, take the skills (or knowledge) you most enjoy or would like to use or develop in your next career step and build the resume around those. 8. The resume focuses on highlighting strengths and de-emphasizing weaknesses. Focus on whatever is strongest and most impressive. Make careful and strategic choices as to how to organize, order, and convey your skills and background. Consider whether to include the information at all, placement in the overall structure of the resume, location on the page itself or within a section, ordering of information, more impressive ways of phrasing the information, and use of design elements (such as boldface type to highlight, italics to minimize, ample surrounding space to draw the eye to certain things.)
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9. A resume needs an initial focus to help the reader understand your capabilities immediately. Dont make the reader go through the whole resume to gure out what your profession is and what you can do. An initial focus may be as simple as the name of your profession (Chief Bottle Washer, Head Storyteller) centered under the name and address; it may be in the form of an objective, it may be in the form of a summary statement or better, a summary statement beginning with a phrase identifying your profession. This is also an opportunity for the reader to see how well you write and clearly describe ideas on paper. 10. U se powerful words. For every skill, accomplishment, or job described, use the most active, impressive verb you can think of (which is also accurate.) Begin the sentence with this verb, except when you must vary the sentence structure to avoid repetitious writing. 11. P ersonalize the objective, ie: As a recent graduate of psychology, i am interested in joining the Marriott corporate family to further my skills in industrial psychology. 12. Spell-out acronyms in addition to using them, (ie: FDA; Food and Drug Administration.) This helps the Applicant Tracking System (ATS) find matches. Most companies and job boards use ATS systems.
Create a Business Plan

If you have chosen to start your own business versus seeking a job or ca76
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reer for another company, you may want to look at doing a business plan. A business plan is used for several reasons. The rst is so that you can map out what you are thinking in a clear and concise format. This will allow you and others to see how sound your idea is or isnt. Secondly, the plan can be used to help raise capitol. Most banks or investors will want to see an executive summary rst, and then a solid business plan before investing. I wont go into great detail here on business plans, however, if you are creating your dream job by starting a business there are a number of resources online that you can use to help create a winning business plan. Google business plan and get a clear understanding as to what it is and how it can help you. You will need to have your bio written for the executive summary and business plan. The resume writing information should help you to write a very nice bio.
Exercise:
DREAM JOB
Resources: These sites have resume building tools, tips, tutorials, and examples that will guide you through the entire process of writing a cover letter and resume: www.Americasjobexchange.com www.Acinet.org www.Jobstar.org www.FreeResumeWorld.com
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On a clear day, I can see the ocean. On a cloudy day the same ocean isnt there.
Now that youve identied 50 potential companies, go to each companys web site and do the following:
The Secret of Clarity and Process
ave a clearly dened process. Know who your competition is and
how they are doing the business you are interested in investing in.
The Ten Friend Zone Steps to Clarity and Process

(These work for entrepreneurs also.) 1. Th e companys Website. Go to the career section of the companys Website and look at culture statements, mission statements, benets, history, leadership and management team, investors and partners, products, R&D pipeline, and nancials (this is extremely important, you dont want to go to work for someone whos running out of money.) A hot tip is to see if the company is a best workplace environment. A
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best workplace environment is a rating given by certain third-party organizations and based on a point system and employee interview process, deeming the company a desired place to work. Companies like Google, Cisco, Quicken, Genentech, Allergan, Microsoft, etc., have been rated as best workplace environments. Finally look at the companys career page to see if there are any jobs that match your skills. Be sure to write down the companys general phone numbers. Use the 800 numbers if they have them, its less expensive for you this way! 2. Process of elimination. Now you should have an idea as to what your 50 dream companies look like. You should have also eliminated a few companies based on what youve seen, such as corporate culture, nancials, and any other criteria that the company didnt match. Its okay to eliminate companies from the list. Now in your Dream Job Journal create a list of companies that match your dream job. 3. Find people who work there. Utilizing your dream job list, go online to LinkedIn.com and Facebook.com to nd people who work at these companies. Linkedin.com is one of the rst resources that many executive recruiters and internal recruiters use to nd people who work in companies they want to penetrate. In your Dream Job Journal, under the actual companies, start making a list of the names of the people who work at the companies. Be sure to include the city that people work in as well. since many companies have multiple locations. Do this exercise
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for all of the companies you have on your list before you go any further. That means stop right now and do it! 4. Prepare your elevator pitch. Youre now preparing to talk with people about yourselfyou want make sure that you have your elevator pitch ready. This should be a short concise statement that highlights three of your top attributes in a very fast and factual way, no more than 30 seconds. Also, be ready to talk more in depth about any of the three highlights that youve mentioned in detail if youre asked to. Keep in mind that this is your opportunity to brag about yourself without being overly boisterous. You also want to be very sincere and utilize your listening skills (see the 12 Active Listening Tips document in the addendum.) 5. Informational interview. Call the individuals from your list and ask if you can do an informational interview. This is a common interview that many college students use to get more information on companies. This is a great way to get the inside scoop on the company as well as making a new internal friend who may be able to put a good word in for you. You can use LinkedIn.com to accomplish this, using the Inmail feature. Call the person directly if their name and company is displayed. If youre an entrepreneur, this could be a list of venture capital rms, investment banking or business development people who are looking to acquire new ideas. STOP and do this now!
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In the Exercise Addendum starting on page 123: a) Study the script for Calling into Companies Cold b) Use the questions for phone networking c) Study my rapport-building video d) S tudy my telephone interviewing video before conducting this part of the program 6. Ask for the name of the hiring manager. At this point, youve probably identied a few positions online at some of your dream companies. The contacts that youve identied will help you get closer to the decision makers if youve executed the strategy properly. These are going to be hiring managers and human resource personnel. Human resource reps have the function of making sure things get done internally; hiring managers are the dominant decision-makers in the process, with regard to hiring for their departments. Your job is to nd the hiring managers and HR reps to do an informational interview. How is this done? When you call someone from your list of new friends, you simply ask who the hiring manager is for the department. Entrepreneurs should use the same strategy with venture capitalists or investors. 7. Ask for a referral. Now that you have the hiring manager or department heads name, you should also ask this person if they would be comfortable allowing you to use their name or if they could introduce you. In some cases this person will want to forward your resume to the hiring manager or to human resources. This is a good sign, because youve actively gotten someone from the inside on your team to help you move forward in the process. Great job!
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8. Talk to the hiring or HR manager. The process is going to be similar to talking to one of your networking friends. You identify yourself as a networking professional, state your name and purpose, and always ask if it is a good timethis a rapport-building technique that should last no more than ve seconds. Then give your 15 to 30 second elevator pitch, then listen (I highly recommend you watch the Phone Interviewing Technique video on TheFriendZone.Tv.) 9. You are not selling or asking for a job. At this point, the hiring or HR manager is going to be interested in receiving your resume or not. Remember, youre not selling anything. This is an indirect sales technique an informational interview only. 10. The outcome is getting interviews. If everything has gone according to plan, and it will if you do this meticulously, someone on that list of companies is going to be interested in seeing you or helping you achieve your outcome. Someone on that list of companies may be interested in interviewing you. Your goal is to get several interviews so that you have the potential for several oers. The real desired outcome is to have an oer from a few companies that t your dream prole.
Exercise:
Online Coaching System 83
DREAM JOB
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Opportunity is your best friend, all you have to do is greet her with open arms.
ment. Phone interviews are often used to screen candidates in order to narrow the pool of applicants who will be invited for in-person interviews. They are also used as ways to minimize the expenses involved in interviewing out-of-town candidates. Teleconferences are also beginning to gain favor among executives. While you are actively job searching, its important to be prepared for a phone interview on a moments notice. You never know when a recruiter or a networking contact might call and ask if you have a few minutes to talk.
The Secret to Phone Interviewing
e prepared to sell yourself over the phone rst! Employers use telephone interviews as a way of identifying and recruiting candidates for employ-
Be Prepared to Interview
Prepare for a phone interview or teleconference just as you would for a
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regular interview. Compile a list of your strengths and weaknesses, as well as a list of questions youll want to know about the hiring managers expectations, style of management, and the company culture. You will probably get questions asking you to show that you actually have the skills to accomplish the goals for the open position. Be prepared to give examples of how you have performed at work in the past in order to show your skill set. Also, be ready for a question about the most obvious problem on your resume frequent job changes or big gaps in work. These are answers you should practice. Even if your answer isnt great, a good delivery can make the dierence between getting through a phone screen or not.
Phone Skills 101

The following are the keys to successful phone interviewing. Follow these simple rules and you should achieve success in this important phase of job-hunting. In our modern day of communication, you will most likely have to interact with a voice messaging system. Always remember, if your voicemail is the rst communication a hiring manager will be getting from you, make sure that you have a rehearsed message. A good message can lead to a call back; a mediocre message can lead to no interest. How to Leave a Phone Message Most people have hoards of messages and e-mails everyday, therefore, if the message is too long or too informative, you stand the chance of losing
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your audience. A phone message should be short, concise and to the point. Remember, you dont want to leave a resume. For example: Hello Mr. Nash, Im returning your phone call regarding our phone meeting. Im very excited about the (position name goes here) opportunity and do look forward to exploring how my skills might add value to your team. Please call me at (phone number,) I will be there from x until x (time/what time zone; i.e. 3pm - 4pm eastern standard.) Looking forward to your call, (your name.) Dos and Donts on Phone Messages Leave only one voice message! Call back in 2 days if you havent gotten a return call. Leave a second messagethis should be very short, (i.e. Mr. Nash, Im following up on your message to me and looking forward to chatting. Once again, my number is x and e-mail is x.) If no call back comes after the third day, dont leave anymore messages! Im sure youve seen the movies where the guy is so excited to talk to the girl and leaves too many messages on her voicemail, the same applies here. Call the company and ask for the receptionist; have them page the person you are looking for. This will let you know if the person is in the oce or not. Youd be surprised how many times hiring managers get called o to do other things. If you do get the hiring manager on the phone, simply state your name and let them know that youve left a couple of messages and really wanted to connect with them, i.e. Mr. Nash, this is John Alverson, I wanted to make sure we connected. Ive had a very busy schedule and didnt want to miss the opportunity to talk with
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you regarding your opening, is this a good time? If yes, then proceed, if no, ask when they can schedule a call or if they are available after business hours, and then get their cell phone number. Some Dos and Donts When You Are on the Call DO give accurate and detailed contact information in your cover letter so your interviewers can easily connect with you. (i.e. your email address, cell phone and home number as well as your address) DONT have an inappropriate song or long greeting on your answering machine or voice mail (i.e. Hey yall, wassup. In other words, separate your personal from your professional image.) DO ensure that household members understand the importance of phone messages in your job search. DO know what job you are interviewing for and the position title. Have the job description if possible. DO practice, if possible. Have a friend call you to do a mock phone interview so you get the feel of being interviewed over the phone. Anticipate various types of personalities, not everyone is going to be like you! DO make sure you are in a place where you can read notes, take notes, and concentrate. DO consider keeping an outline in front of you to remind yourself of key points you want to cover with the interviewer. You dont want your responses to sound scripted, nor do you want to fumble for important points.
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DO also have your resume in front of you so you can remember highlights of your experience and accomplishments. DO ensure that you can hear and are being clearly heard. Do this from a land line if possible DO consider standing when being interviewed on the phone. Some experts say youll sound more professional than if youre slouching in an easy chair. DO dress as though you were interviewing for the phone interview. It may sound silly since the interviewer cant see you, but you really will project a more professional image if youre dressed for the part. DONT feel you have to ll in the silences by over talking. If youve completed a response, but the interviewer hasnt asked his or her next question, dont start talking just to ll in airtime. Instead, ask a question of your own related to your last response. DONT panic if you have special needs. If you are hearing-impaired, for example, phone interviews are still possible. You will need to let the company know in advance so that they can accommodate your request in advance. DONT snie, sneeze, or cough. If you cant avoid these behaviors, say excuse me. Additionally, if you have a cold or allergies and have symptoms before your conversation, let the interviewing know in advance that you have the condition. Most people are very understanding.
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DONT chew gum or food, or drink anything noisy. Additionally, be sure that you are in an environment that is not noisy or that your friends or family are aware of what you are doing so that they can respect your time. DO create a strong nish to your phone interview with thoughtful questions. Remember, you are also interviewing the interviewer. Be prepared to ask intelligent questions, i.e., How long have you been with the company? What are some of the reasons you continue to be excited about the company? What are some of your goals for your department? Closing the Phone Call Oer something in return, i.e. Mr. Nash, thank you so much for this time, Ive really enjoyed our conversation and am excited about the prospect of interviewing with your team. Whats our next step? The object is to get a commitment for an in-person meeting. Also, in the interim, is there anything I can do for you in return?
Exercise:
DREAM JOB
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It is better to prepare your parachute before jumping out of the plane.
The Secret of Interviewing in Person
n interview is your opportunity to show your stu! Okay this is where it gets fun. Not that we havent had fun so far, however the interview-
ing process is where the show begins, so get ready to show yourself o! There are several types of interviewing techniques from situational interviewing, designed to challenge you with theoretical or hypothetical situations to see how well you respond. Stress interviewing is intended to induce stress to see how well you can handle yourself or a team. Technical Interviews focuse on problem solving skills and creativity. The questions will aim at your problem solving skills, and likely will show your ability and creativity. Sometimes these interviews will be on a computer module with multiple choice questions. The most common types are:are traditional interviewing, intended to focus on your beliefs, professional or management style, and behavioral interviewing,
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intended to ask questions about general situations, with the candidate asked to describe how they handled a specic problem. There are also companies who have blended traditional and behavioral interview techniques. These steps are eective even if you are meeting with investment bankers or venture capitalist or investors to pitch funding your dream.
Interviewing 101: Dos and Donts

This is an interesting area because various industries have dierent rules, however the one thing you want to do is always put your best foot forward. Its always better to over dress than to under dress. Corporate America on the East Coast, i.e., New York, Boston, etc. employs a more formal style of dressing. Dark suits and outts t in very well in that environment. On the West Coast there is a less formal atmosphere (must be the weather.) Sports jackets and earth tones are more acceptable. Every region and industry will have their own code. If you are a chef, you are going to dress dierently than a CPA. Do your homeworkgo to the company in advance to see how what type of atmosphere is being created, then dress up a notch. Be sure your shoes are polished and shiny or clean and presentable. Dress for success! If you are not the type of person who irons your clothes, be sure to have a couple of outts pressed by a dry cleaner hanging in your closet and shoes shined or clean and ready to go. Men, be sure that your tie, socks, and belt are color coordinated; have your spouse or friends help. Someone who works in a clothing store may also be a great help with this. Women, be sure that skirts
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and tops are not too revealing and that you dont go to an interview with open toe shoes. There have been several occasions where Ive had perfect candidates do great on the phone only to ruin the interview in person based on their choice of clothing. Keep your colors neutraljob interviewing is not a fashion show unless you are in the fashion or entertainment industry. Be sure to cover up obvious tattoos; unless you are working in an industry that is friendly to this type of thing, corporate America still has some years of change in front of it before that becomes the norm. These may sound like basic things, but many people BLOW their chances every day by not knowing these types of things. Personal Hygiene Many of you may be thinking, why are you even writing about this? Ive been preparing people for years and have heard some interesting stories, things you wouldnt believe. So, just to keep this simple; shower or bathe, brush your teeth, comb or brush your hair, use deodorant, or a natural antiperspirant, dont wear perfumes or colognes (someone may be allergic), and make sure you have fresh breath. Make sure your fingernails are clean and trim, theres nothing like looking at someone whos nicely dressed with dirty un-manicured fingernails. Finally, look in the mirror before you go to the interview or have someone look you over. If you dont know anyone go to a local store or restaurant and ask someone for their opinion.
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Smokers If you smoke this might be a good time to consider quitting! But really, its important not to smell like an ashtray at your interview. My strongest advice: Dont smoke the morning or day of your interview. Be sure to keep your breath and clothes smelling fresh. The smell of smoke on someone can be very oensive to a non smoker, and if this non smoker is a hiring manager, you diminish your chances of being hired immediately. I had a hiring manager who almost revoked an oer after it was made, when he found out the candidate smoked. This is obviously illegal, however, if you smoke you already know that smokers dont have the same rights as non-smokers. One of the challenges is that many smokers are not conscious of the eects smoke or the smell of smoke has on people, therefore, taking all precautions to ensure your success is important. If you are a smoker, Im not telling you to quit smoking, but you may want to nd other ways to handle that habit. If you smoke regularly and need periodic breaks, use a product to take away the desire for cigarettes and tobacco products. There is one that I know of which is fairly new to the market called smokerZchoice (on the web: www.nic-erase.com.) This product not only tastes great, but helps to reduce cravings as well as relieve nervous tension and irritability.
Interviewing
The most important thing is to be prepared. People who are well prepared do much better than people who arent, which keeps your stress level lower. Know who you are interviewing with! Ask for a schedule of the interview
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when it is arranged if one is not oered. Memorize the names of your interviewers. Also, ask if there is an application process and complete this prior to arriving at the interview. You dont want to be sitting in the lobby lling out that dreaded application for 30 minutes after your day is completed. Have everything ready 24 to 48 hours before the interview. This means copies of your resume, dry-cleaned clothing, Powerpoints, research, and any materials necessary for the interview. Also, have driving directions to the company already printed. Its always a good idea to drive to the company a few days before the interview so that youll be certain about where you have to go. Be at least 15 minutes early and wait in the lobby. If you get there earlier, wait in your car, you dont want to be too early. Traditional Interviewing Traditional interviewing uses broad questions such as: Why would you want to work for this company? Tell me about yourself. Tell me about your strengths and weaknesses. Success or failure in these types of interviews is based on the job seekers ability to communicate more than the truthfulness or content of your answers. Employers are typically looking to answer these three questions: 1. Does the job seeker have the skills and ability to perform the job? 2. Does the job seeker have the enthusiasm and work ethic that the employer expects? 3. Will the job seeker be a team player and t into the organization.?
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The following 10 questions will help you prepare for a traditional interview, however, I recommend you utilize the online resources weve suggested to expand your knowledge in this area. I recommend that you practice interviewing with a coach or practice buddy utilizing the list of questions that follows, as well as utilizing the Internet to nd more questions.
Ten Traditional Interview Questions

1. How would you describe yourself? 2. What specic goals, including those related to your occupation, have you established for your life? 3. How has your college experience prepared you for a business career? 4. Please describe the ideal job for you. 5. What do you expect to be doing in ve years? 6. Tell me about a major problem you recently handled. Were you successful in resolving it? 7. What specic goals have you established for your career? 8. What will it take to attain your goals, and what steps have you taken toward attaining them? 9. What do you think it takes to be successful in this career? 10. How do you determine or evaluate success? Give me an example of one of your successful accomplishments.
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Behavioral Interviewing
There are two dominant schools of behavioral interviews; The Lominger and The Hay Group methods. Both are systems that are taught and used in corporate America. Behavioral interviewing emphasizes past performance and behavior to predict future performance and behaviors. As a consequence, candidates unprepared for the rigor of behavioral interviewing usually do not fare well. Remember, practicing the list of common interview questions no longer works. When using behavioral interviewing techniques the interviewer will ask open-ended questions relating to your behavior in past situations and will try to match these with the pre-set requirements of the role. Behavior-based interview questions require you to provide specic examples of what you have done in the past and usually take the form of: 1. Tell me about a time when you... a. had to accept a decision you did not agree with. b. concluded a project that exceeded your expectations. c. had to deal with a dicult co-worker. 2. Give an example of a situation where you had to make an ethical choice. 3. Describe a situation where your actions or decision caused you problems and how you resolved it. Many interviewers will ask for examples within the last year (Hay Group method) in order to keep your recollection fresh. These questions are designed to gather detailed evidence and you will nd that once you have given
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your answer the interviewer will probe deeper and may pick certain aspects of your answer to investigate further. Be prepared for questions such as: 1. How exactly did you do that? 2. Tell me exactly what you said to her. 3. What was the basis for that decision? Would you do it dierently in the future? By delving more deeply into the detail of your answer the interviewer knows that it becomes very dicult for you to sustain a fabricated story. Behavioral questions provide the interviewer details about your behavior, but also communicate information on your knowledge of the job and reasoning in making choices. It is important that you consider the question carefully before forming your answer, and maximize your opportunity to communicate both behavioral information, and job knowledge. Choose answers based on real experiences that you have had and be ready to give details. Your analysis of the job description and research of the company will have helped you get a good idea of the key competencies of the job and the culture of the organization. This will help you to anticipate the types of questions you will be asked in the interview. Your response needs to be relevant and suciently detailed. Be specic and tell a story.
How to Prepare for a Behavioral Interview

Companies that employ behavioral interviewing have predetermined the skill sets they require for a particular position. These skill sets could include:
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decision making and problem solving, leadership, motivation, communication, interpersonal skills, planning and organization, critical thinking skills, team building, and the ability to inuence others. The company determines the skill sets by doing a detailed analysis of the position they are seeking to ll. Job seekers also must go through this same process. To conduct a job analysis the job seeker should ask questions such as: 1. What are the necessary skills to do this job? 2. What makes a successful employee? 3. What would make an unsuccessful employee? 4. Why have people left this position previously? 5. What is the most dicult part of this job? Once you have landed the interview, keep in mind the following points: Be detailed and specific Developed three stories that illustrate your past performance Remember that the interviewer will be operating under the premise that past performance in a similar setting is the best predictor of future performance. The best way to accomplish this is to use the three-step STAR process or 1. Situation or Task 2. Action 3. Result
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You might recount a time when communication within your work group had broken down (Situation.) To resolve the problem, you organized informal lunch meetings for people to discuss relevant issues (Action.) Morale then improved, as did the lines of communication (Result.) Using this three step STAR process is a powerful way for you to frame your experiences and accomplishments for the interviewer. Another great way to prepare is by using this four-step PARS process or 1. Problem 2. Action 3. Resolution 4. Solution Once again, you might recount a time when communication within your work group had broken down (Problem.) To resolve the problem, you organized informal lunch meetings for people to discuss relevant issues (Action.) Morale then improved, as did the lines of communication (Resolution.) As an additional step in the process you created a way for employees to voice their opinion using a suggestion box (Solution.) PARS is another powerful fourstep process that allows you to frame your experiences and accomplishments for the interviewer. Dont ramble. While its hard to determine whats going to be asked, talking too much and going into rambling tangents can get you into trouble in a behavioral interviewing session. Be sure to listen carefully to each question,
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take silent time to formulate your response, rephrase the question before answering, then respond and be sure to recall your past accomplishments vividly. The great thing about behavioral interviewing is that it allows the interviewee to talk about real-life experiences as they relate to the position, thus eliminating anyone who doesnt have real experience.
Recovery Strategies
We all experience mental blocks from time to time and stressful job interviews seem to encourage this at the most inopportune time. The most common problem, for behavioral interviewees is when they are unable to think of an example. Ive seen excellent, articulate candidates block in this situation and begin xating on the fact that they cant think of anything. As discussed earlier, target xation will get you more target xation! STOP! Tell the interviewer you cant think of an example at the moment and ask her if she has an alternative question (most Behavioral Event methods have two questions for each competency) or if you can come back to that question later. Make sure you follow-up and answer the original question before concluding the interview, even if not prompted. More jobs are lost by rambling than by any other single reason. Remember, it has already been determined that you are qualied. I once witnessed an illegal drug runner getting a ticket for an illegal lane change. When the ocer was through writing the ticket, the criminal for no reason invited the ocer to search his vehicle. Today hes in jail. Interviewers are trained to stay silent and
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allow candidates to continue to produce information. A friend and colleague of mine developed a simple polite solution to breaking this impasse. When you are nished, simply ask, Does that answer your question? If not, follow-up with the interviewers instructions. If so, the interviewer must now move on.
Exercise:
DREAM JOB
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A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing! Glen Gary Glen Ross (movie)
thing without fear of any repercussion. Many times these rules determine what we are comfortable or uncomfortable doing. Think about it, when you were a kid, most likely it wasnt an issue for you ask your parents or guardian for something that you really wanted until you got it! My children are good at this and it works. What changed? You learned certain rules or beliefs that were engrained from childhood that determine how you currently behave in certain situations. Ultimately, many adults end up playing it safe and not pushing the envelope, in fear of disturbing the system or status quo. Most of us dont live like we were dying. The un103
The Secret to Closing the Deal (The Oer)

f you dont ask for it, someone else might! Have you ever noticed how fearless children are? They will do anything as well as ask for any-
fortunate part of the feelings that we create in becoming adults is that they tend to show up in the interview process, which is where it hurts the most. Most people are not as direct as many trained sales professionals, however there are some techniques Id like to share with you to help you achieve the same outcome. This is one of the most important parts of the process. There is an old adage in show business that says, Its how you start and end the show that people will remember. The same applies to interviewing. Finish with a strong close. Ive had the pleasure of working with a large number of candidates and working hard to bring the deal in so that the client and candidate are happy with the results. Remember, the company has a budget that they have allotted for all positions and the general strategy is to make an offer in the middle of the range so that they can give you an increase when your review period is at hand. Asking for too much money can break negotiations down. This is a fragile area, but a necessary one. I always tell the candidates I coach that we will stretch the rubber band as much as possible before it breaks. Our mission is to get the best possible offer, not to be unreasonable. When executing these strategies be sure that you are confident and congruent. In other words, if you dont sound and feel convincing, you will not be perceived that way.
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Several Closing Strategies That Work

Imaginative approach: imagine yourself already on the team In this method, you talk as though you are already part of the team by using words such as we, us, and our during the conversation. These are considered inclusive language patterns and create the idea that you are part of the team. Naturally, this is the feeling you want to give to your interviewer(s.) Example: As a team member of (Company Name,) I would provide our clients with thorough information regarding their accounts, and would handle all inquiries and discrepancies with condentiality. If you use this approach throughout the interview, you will notice that the interviewer will begin to use the words we and us as well. This can lead to an oer if executed properly. Summary approach: summarize why youre a great fit With this approach you summarize out all the factsthe exact reason why there is a match between you and the employer. Example: Throughout our conversation today, I have learned about the dynamics of your company, its culture, and the responsibilities of the position. Im also impressed by your vision and style. Im glad to see that your requirements match my experience and goals. I look forward to participating in the rest of the interview process and optimistically anticipate being a part of your team. Its always up to you to educate the interviewer as to why you are a great
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t for the opportunity and why an oer should be extended. Dont forget: you are always selling yourself. The forward approach: be clear and confident. Example: Im interested in the position. Have I provided all the information you need to oer me the position? Do you see me as a great addition to your team? How soon would you want me to start? Whats our next step? Are you prepared to have me join you next week?
The Oer
The oer is perhaps the most exciting part of the process. At this point, youve done a great job bringing the airplane down to the landing eld. However, It aint over until its over. The oer is the point where many candidates dont know what to ask for. Ive coached many executives as well non-executives through this process. The challenge is in knowing what to ask for and when enough is enough. Ok, you may ask, whats the secret? Well the secret is in stretching the rubber band without breaking it. At the oer stages, human resources has taken the lead, but the hiring manager is really in the forefront. In a smaller company this may be done by the hiring manager and or executives. The truth is that you want as much as you can get, yes you do! You see, what you settle for now will be what you get for one year, therefore, you want to get as much as you can get (stocks, options, money, etc.) That being said, dont hold the company hostage for a higher salary because your
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current employer is underpaying you. You cannot expect a new employer to make up what you havent negotiated in the past. Employers have a salary range for every position and often times want to oer a salary somewhere on the bottom or in the middle of the range. This has to do with the budget of the position as well as the internal equity of the group. For instance, they couldnt hire someone in as a manager who is making too much more than the managers who are currently employed with the organization, since it would cause a ripple in the system. Be aware that most companies have vacation policies that are in stone and cannot be changed, but there are creative ways to deal with time o. Be sure that if youve already schedule a vacation before joining the company to let them know in the oer stage, this will usually ensure that you can still enjoy your plans, pending the nature. Here are the steps: 1. Know what you want in advance. Do your research; Salary.com or Jobstar.Org are great resources. 2. Know what people in your field are being paid in that region. For example, salaries in New York are dierent from those in San Diego. Do the homework to nd out the cost-of-living dierential. An oer usually includes a base salary, a bonus, and sometimes stock or stock options and benets, and relocation and temporary housing. 3. Ask for a written offer. After the verbal oer has been given from the hiring manager, human resources, your recruiter, or whomever the party
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is that is extending the invitation, ask them for a written oer. Now, many headhunters will want you to accept the verbal oer, which is ne, as long as all of the details have been worked out. A written oer will outline the entire nancial portion of the agreement. You should ask for a detail benets summary and relocation package if applicable. 4. Written offers are not in stone. Once youve received the written oer, it doesnt mean you have to accept it or that you will get the job. This is the time when you want to make sure everything you want is in writing. If you are working with a headhunter or career strategist, they should be working closely with you. Also, many companies require background and drug testing. Make sure youve disclosed anything up front, instead of in the oer stages. Be sure that youve told the truth through the entire process and that your education and experience is congruent. 5. Be extremely courteous in the process. Always respect the company for putting an oer together, this is a very time sensitive issue that can work for you or against you. Use it to your advantage, especially when you have several oers. However, be sure that you dont leave the company waiting too long, they have a business to run and potential other candidates who are in the loop. Use professional courtesy, if you are not going to accept an oer. There may be a strong second choice waiting to hear from the company. In some cases you may be the second choice; you see how this works?
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6. Send thank you letters either way. Whether you accept the oer or not, its good practice to send hand written thank you notes to all of the people involved in the process. The hiring process is a big production that involves a huge team eort and time commitment from many people, including some youll never meet. Be extremely grateful for everyones time. 7. Formal Acceptance. When all of the details are worked out and youve made the decision to accept the oer, sign and date the oer letter. Send it back to the human resources person or hiring manager you are working with ASAP and thank them for their time. 8. Rejecting an offer. Ideally, youve had more than one oer at this stage. You want to make sure that you thank the other companies that youve engaged with and let them know that you will not be accepting their oers ASAP. They could have other candidates in process while expecting an answer from you. Please be extremely courteous of their time. Additionally, you could be one of the other candidates waiting for an answer from a company.
Keeping the Job of Your Dreams Fresh

Now that youve gone through the entire process of nding your dream job/career it is as equally important to keep it. Initially a new job or career can be very exciting, similar to a newfound relationship; however, many of you know that relationships eventually lose their initial luster and excitement
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over time. For many people this can take years, and for some this can take months or even days before the excitement is gone. For example, think of a time when you had something that was brand new, something like a new or used car, or a new house or apartment, or maybe you were admitted a school that you were excited about, or maybe it was a new relationship you were excited about. Think about how you felt when you rst started, most likely you were extremely excited and enthusiastic. Like most people, you were probably in a state of euphoria initially! Now, think about how long that enthusiasm lasted and the point when it started to change or fade. Think about why the enthusiasm or euphoria changed, why did the initial luster fade? There are a number of reasons why this happens and many of them have to do with our basic human needs. According to author and peak performance coach Anthony Robbins, there are six basic human needs that we all have to fulll.
The Six Human Needs Psychology:

Certainty: We all want to feel stable about our environment or our basic necessitiesshelter, food, the things that give us a sense of stability. Jobs or careers provide our basic needs by helping us to have cash ow, social interaction, and familiarity. Uncertainty or Variety: We have a need for change. Once something is familiar, we have a basic need to seek another experience. Many of us do this by changing jobs/careers, businesses, or relationships, or our mental states
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by drugs and alcohol or exercise. We have the need to change our scenery or state in some way. Significance: We all want to feel special and important in some way. Some of us achieve this by recognition from others or ourselves. Connection: We need to feel connection with someone or something. We need the feeling of being connected with people at our place of work, church, club, gang, animals, ideas, things, or a social setting that allows us to feel connected. Connection may be in the form of love. Growth: We have the need for feeling that we are growingintellectually, spiritually, physicallyeverything in the universe is either growing or dying. The desire for growth is a large reason why many of us choose to change careers, jobs and partners. Contribution: We all want to contribute in some waywithout contribution there is no spiritual fulllment. This should give you some insights into why we feel dierently about things that we achieve. Its human nature, however, you do have control over what you do and how you feel. Sometimes your dream job will be a dream job until its time for you to experience another plateau in life or time to shift the way you are viewing it; sometimes a complete shift in your thinking is all you need. Ive seen people leave their job only to nd that leaving was a big mistake. A shift in thinking would have changed their perspective, leading them to discover that they were in their dream job!
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Sometimes when weve fullled our goals, its time to set another one. Many people become job hoppers and career changers frequently due to a longing or a sense of being unfulllebe aware of this behavior. This type of person will never have a lasting dream job, relationship, or happiness. Many times what we are looking for resides inside of us rather than outside of us. Job hoppers will also have a resume that most employers run away from. Do you remember The Wizard of Oz? I recommend you see this movie again. It has a message of ageless wisdom that tells the story of our longing for something that we perceive as outside of us, only to nd it within.
Top 20 Dream Job Fundamentals

It will take a little time to get used to your new job, so be easy on yourself. There is always an adjustment period and a learning curve. When you start the new job you will want to be sure and always stick to the fundamentals, where you are a seasoned professional or new to the workplace. Most companies have processes and procedures in place. Find out what they are. Here are some basics: 1. Get a good night of rest before going to work each day. 2. Make it a habit to be early. 3. Look your bestpersonal hygiene is very important. 4. Get to know your HR Policies regarding vacation, holidays, sick time, etc. ASAP! 5. Have a positive attitudesmile and the world will smile with you. 6. Be professional and treat others how you want to be treated. 7. Take responsibility for what you do and do your best every day.
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8. Control your emotionskeep non-work related issues out of the workplace. 9. Dont use work time to do personal business, this includes using work phones and Internet. 10. Learn your jobpay attention to the details during training, take notes, or tape record the training. 11. Try and work well with othersgetting along with others will make your dream job last longer. 12. Be dependablebe someone who your employer or client can count on. 13. Think of the larger pictureyou are on a team and have a specic function to help the overall goal of the company or clientbe an outstanding team player. 14. Ask questions if there is anything you dont understand. Take notes so that you dont have to ask the same questions over again. 15. Accept criticism. If youve made a mistake, accept criticism and responsibility. Its ok! Dont take it personally. 16. Be a good listener. 17. Stay busy. When youve completed a task, ask if there is something else you can do to help. 18. Dont spread rumors or get involved in petty activities. 19. Find a mentor in the organization that you can model and learn from. 20. Be aware of your work-to-life balance. This is extremely important! Be sure to balance working with some form of other activityTry tness, hiking, yoga, relaxation, meditation, music, entertainment, etc.
Exercise:
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CONCLUSION
Now that youve completed the entire process, my questions for you are: Did you stay true to the agreement you signed in the beginning? Did you honor your own commitments? Did you complete the entire workshop? Did you take ownership for your outcome? Did you follow through with doing things that you havent tried beforedemonstrating exibility? Are you using this information to nd out how you can make yourself a better person in every way? If you did honor your own commitment and followed through with your agreement, congratulations! It takes a lot of work to get our brains to focus on things that will make us better, which is why many people are not successful in their attempts to get ahead in life. Success is not a measure of what you have, but what you do. Success is really the idea that if you start out with a destination and end up at the nish line, you have achieved success. Many of us confuse success with materialism, i.e., money, big houses, cars and a number of other things. The media has done a wonderful job of selling us materialism, but the true measure of a successful person is how they live and treat others on their journey. There is an old saying, Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself! This is one of my golden rules. I hope that you truly have done the work to uncover the desires of your
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heart and follow through with your lifes purpose. Your dream job is and always has been waiting for you, all you need to do is be clear and take the necessary actions to bring it into focus. In closing I would like to invite you to stay tuned to TheFriendZone.Tv and utilize the ongoing resources. Well also be doing seminars, teleseminars, Webinars and a number of other things to help enrich the Friendzone Community and your life. I also invite you to take advantage of our direct strategy sessions with a career strategist. This is an opportunity to interact with coaches who have the ability to help transform your job or career search as well as to aect your life in ways that create lasting results. Send us an email to Coaching@ thenfriendzone.tv. Thank you for the opportunity for us to make a dierence, please pay it forward!
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ADDENDUM
YOUR DESTINATION EXERCISE
Assignment
Whats the dierence between people who set goals and everyone else? They visualize their outcomes, self assess, and are creative and exible. Think about the following questions and jot down your answers. 1. Do you have a vision or an outcome for your career that you focus on which helps motivate you? What is it? ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 2. What one career goal do you have this year that is a must? Are you on course for achieving that goal? Do you have a way to measure your success in achieving that goal? Do you self assess and course correct? How? ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 3. Do you exercise creativity in the process of job seeking or do you do what youve always done? What are 3 things that youll do dierently this time? ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________
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ADDENDUM
________________________________________________________________
SCRIPT FOR CALLING INTO COMPANIES COLD

When you call in to the company and have a name of a contact, here is a simple script that you can use as a guideline. Hello ____________________, my name is ___________________________ and I am a __________________ (Your Professional Title) Is this a good time for you to talk? I understand that you are an incredible person and you know a ton of people, is that true? If no, Sorry to take your time, would you be open to me calling you in the future to ask if you know people? If yes, The purpose of my phone call is to network with professionals like you to help identify opportunities for myself. Ive targeted your company as one that I am potentially interested in applying to, and am hoping that you would be open to talking a little about your corporate culture and some of the things you love about the organization? If yes, great! Begin interviewing them, have a list of questions you want to ask that pertain to the subject. Remember, do your homework rst! After theyve told you a little about the company, tell them a little bit about yourselfhave your elevator pitch ready. Then ask them if they know the hiring manager who heads the department or group. Not human resources at this juncture, however, the good thing is that many companies pay an internal referral fee to employees, so human resources will eventually be involved.
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When they give you the name(s), make sure to get their name, title and e-mail address so that you can send a thank you. Be sure to get the title of the person they are referring you to. Ask if they have a direct number to the person. If not, you can call the main line and ask for them directly. Also ask if they would be comfortable with you using their name when you make contact with the hiring manager. Finally, ask them if they have any other friends in the industry whom you can continue networking with. Be a good listener, be courteous and not pushy. Take as many names and numbers as they are willing to give. Always send thank you e-mails to the people helping you in your networking! Most importantly, always send thank you e-mails and handwritten letters to hiring managers and the people who interview you! You increase your chances of being hired by a large percentage. The last question you will want to ask is if there are any networking groups they can recommend. This is a powerful question that can lead to an entirely new group of resources. When this process is executed properly with eective rapport, you will nd out how easily you can make the right friends!
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ADDENDUM
12 ACTIVE LISTENING TIPS

1. Mentally put yourself in the other persons shoes matching/mirroring. 2. Keep the conversation on what the speaker says, not on what interests you. 3. Spend more time listening than talking. 4. Let the other speaker talk. Do not dominate the conversation and do not interrupt incessantly. 5. Pay attention, never become preoccupied with your own thoughts when others talk, and take brief notes to concentrate on what is being said. 6. Do not nish the sentences of others. 7. Ask questions, but do not answer questions with questions. 8. Be aware of biases and perceptions. Control your biases and validate your assumptions. 9. Encourage the speaker; provide feedback and paraphrase to show you are listening. 10. Plan responses after the other person has nished speaking, not while they are speaking. 11. Analyze by looking at all the relevant factors, ask clarifying and openended questions. 12. Summarizewalk the person through your analysis.
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1. How is the executive team to work with? 2. What is a typical day like for you?
QUESTIONS FOR PHONE NETWORKING
3. What do you do? What are the duties/functions/responsibilities of your job? 4. What kinds of problems do you deal with? 5. What kinds of decisions do you make? 6. What are the most important personal satisfactions and dissatisfactions connected with your occupation? 7. What part of this job do you personally nd most satisfying? Most challenging? 8. What do you like and not like about working in this industry? 9. What are the various jobs in this eld or organization? 10. Why did you decide to work for this company? 11. What do you like most about this company? 12. How does your company dier from its competitors? 13. Why do customers choose this company? 14. Are you optimistic about the companys future and your future with the company? 15. What does the company do to contribute to its employees professional development? 16. How does the company make use of technology for internal communication and outside marketing? (Use of e-mail, Internet, intranets, World Wide Web page, video conferencing, etc.) 17. What sorts of changes are occurring in your occupation? 18. How does a person progress in your eld? What is a typical career path in this eld or organization?
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ADDENDUM
DOS AND DONTS FOR IN-PERSON INTERVIEWING

DOS 1. Do express yourself clearly with a strong voice and good diction and grammar. 2. Do pay close attention to your personal appearance; dress to your advantage. Wear basic colors and patterns. Men: suits, basic tie colors, no ashy tiessimply solid or non busy patterns. Women: pant suits or business dresses, basic colors, no ashy tops, no short skirts. 3. Know the exact time and location of your interview. Know how long it takes to get there, park, nd a rest room to freshen up, etc. 4. Do oer a rm handshake and a smile. 5. Do look the interviewer in the eye (but dont stare him or her down.) 6. Do ll out applications neatly and completely. 7. Do have as much knowledge about the industry, employer, and position as possible. Internet researchdo your homework! 8. Do take criticism gracefully. 9. Do equip yourself with a strong knowledge of the company. 10. Do have prepared questions about the employer and position. 11. Do display self condence. 12. Do bring a pen and small notebook with you to the interview. 13. Do remember the interviewers name and use it during the interview. 14. Do take time to think before answering dicult or unexpected questions. 15. Do take an extra copy of your resume and a list of references with you. 16. Do follow-up with a handwritten thank you note restating your interest in the position. 17. Do contact the employer by phone if the interviewer does not contact you one week after the time which s/he indicated you would be notied. 18. Do accept water if oered. Sometimes in the interview youll need it. 19. Do be considerate and friendly to the receptionist and secretaries. 20. Do pay attention to your environment. Sometimes there are things in an environment that can be useful in rapport building.
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DONTS 1. Dont say anything negative about your former employer. 2. Dont be overbearing, overaggressive, or over spoken about your skills. 3. Dont show a lack of interest or enthusiasm. 4. Dont emphasize money as your main interest in the job. 5. Dont expect too much too soon. Be open to the idea of starting at the bottom and working your way up. 6. Dont make excuses for unfavorable factors on your record. 7. Dont condemn past employers or institutions of education; keep comments positive. 8. Dont be indecisive. 9. Dont display intolerance or prejudice. 10. Dont interview unless you are interested in the jobdont just shop around. 11. Dont be late to the interview. 12. Dont state specic geographic restrictions. 13. Dont contradict yourself in responses. 14. Dont take notes during the interviewjot down your notes immediately afterwards. 15. Dont forget: YOU control the content of the interview. 16. Dont glorify your past experiences. Getting into a job for which you are under qualied is not recommended. 17. Dont smoke before or during the interview. 18. Dont chew gum etc., even if oered or if the interviewer does so. 19. Dont chew tobacco before or during an interview. 20. Dont try to be an expert in a subject that you are clueless about.
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ADDENDUM
INTERVIEW QUESTIONS FOR EVERYONE (Especially New Graduates)

How would you describe yourself? What do you see yourself doing in five years? What do you really want to do in life? Why did you choose your collegeand are you happy with the choice? What are your long-term career objectivesand how do you plan to achieve them? Whats more important to youthe work itself or how much youre paid for doing it? What are the most important rewards you expect to gain from your career? What do you expect to be earning in five years? What do you expect to be earning after you graduate? Why did you choose this career? What are your majors and minors? Why did you choose the courses you took? What do you consider to be your greatest strengths and weaknesses? How do you think your favorite professor would describe you? Your least favorite professor? What motivates you to go the extra mile on a project or job? What was your most memorable classroom experience? How has your college experience prepared you for your career? Why should I hire you? How would you describe the ideal job for you following graduation?
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How do you define success? What qualifications do you have that will make you successful? What do you think it takes to be successful in this company? How are you going to make a contribution to our company? What are two or three accomplishments that have given you the most satisfactionand why? What was your favorite classand why? What was your least favorite classand why? What changes would you make in your college? Do you have plans to continue your education? What skills have you acquired from your internships and part-time jobs? Describe your favorite professor or favorite supervisor. Do you think your grades are a good indication of the type of employee youll make? Whats your GPA? Are you happy with it? What have you learned from your experiences outside the classroom? Do you feel you work well under pressure? Why are you interviewing for this position? What can you tell us about our company? What interests you about our products? What do you know about our competitors? What criteria are you using to choose companies to interview with? What are your expectations regarding promotions and salary increases? Are you willing to relocate?
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ADDENDUM
Are you willing to travel for the job? How much training do you think you need before you can make a contribution to the company? Describe one of the biggest mistakes you made in college. What did you learn from your mistakes? What other jobs/companies are you considering? If you were hiring for this position, what qualities would you look for in a new college graduate? How well do you work with people? Do you prefer working alone or in teams? Have you ever been in a group project where there were difficulties? How were these issues resolved? How would you describe your leadership skills? How well do you adapt to new situations? Which is more important: creativity or efficiency? Why? Whats the most recent book youve read thats not been a class assignment? What kinds of things did you do outside of classes and work while in college? What kinds of things or skills did you learn from these activities? Do you think college changed you as a person? If so, how? Have you ever tutored an underclassman? What have you accomplished that shows your initiative and willingness to work? If you were to start college over again knowing what you know now, what would you do dierently? Tell me about yourself.
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Tell me about your experience. What is your most important accomplishment to date? How would you describe your ideal job? Why did you choose this career? When did you decide on this career? What goals do you have in your career?
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ADDENDUM
YEAR 2_ _ _ MOST IMPORTANT RESULT Exercise

My most important RESULT is: ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________
Why is it a NECESSITY?
(Remember, when your why is strong enough, the how gets easy)
____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

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What I must do NOW to accomplish my RESULT: ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ What are my TOP GOALS for the year 2_ _ _?
(Remember: Be specicClarity is power! Make sure your goals are in the rst person, for example: I found the job of my dreams. or I bought a brand new 2_ _ _ car/truck of my dreams. or I am debt free. etc. )
1.___________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ 2.___________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ 3.___________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ 4.___________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ 5.___________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________
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6.___________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ 7.___________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ 8.___________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ 9.___________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________ 10.___________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________
Notes: ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Recommended Books and DVDs
What Color is Your Parachute, Richard Nelson Bolles (author) Having it All, by John Assaraf Divine Magic, by Doreen Virtue The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle Love is Letting Go of Fear, by Gerald Jampolsky The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, by Iyanla Vanzant The Three Magic Words, by U. S. Anderson Rich Dad, Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting, by Lynn Grabhorn Personal Power 2, by Anthony Robbins (CD series) What The Bleep Do We Know, DVD and Book (Whatthebleep.com) The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, DVD and Book Glen Gary Glen Ross, James Foley (Director) DVD The Never Ending Story, Wolfgang Petersen (Director) DVD Hook, Stephen Spielberg (Director) DVD
(A story that illustrates the importance of staying in touch with dreaming!) A story that does a great job illustrating what it looks like when we loose the ( ability to dream; we loose our marbles!)
The Wizard of OZ, Victor Fleming (Director) DVD

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RESOURCES
Recommended Online Resources

Resume Writing and Tips Monster.com Careerperfect.com Myrightjob.com Jobstar.org Careerstrides.com Quintcareers.com (Good College Student Tips) Freeresumeworld.com NLP Training and Tips SRICoaching.com Job Search Tools LinkedIn.com (be sure to send me a friend request) Facebook.com (be sure to send me a friend request) Indeed.com JuJu.com Simplyhired.com Interviewing Techniques and Tips TheFriendZone.tv Collegegrad.com Careertv.com About.com
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Jobstu.com QuintessentialCareers.com Careerstrides.com Behavioral Interviewing and Personality Assessments Lominger.com Haygroup.com MyersBriggs.org Personal Coaching SRICoaching.com Performance Solutions International (www.Consultpsi.net) Personal Development/Career Development Seminars Anthonyrobbins.com (Anthony Robbins Seminars) Onecoach.com (One CoachEntrepreneur/Small Business Focused) SRIcoaching.com (SRI Coaching) Entrepreneurial Resources: Startupspark.com Tannedfeet.com Entrepreneurs.about.com Interactive Games
(VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU PLAY ALL-OUT)
Frontiertrainings.com (Frontier TrainingsPlay to Win) choosingprosperity.com/game (The Prosperity Game)

If you have beliefs that create challenges with the ow of money, this game is for you! 132
Additional contributions: Gene McNaughton Goal Setting Workshop Jana Fleming Dream Job Board Workshop Matt Carpenter Additional Resources for Behavioral Interviewing chapter The Seven Secrets Movie Segments: John Bancroft Gene McNaughton Jana Fleming Mike Bannan Steve Fleming Mike McElroy Ron Nash Bibliography Tad James & Wyatt Woodsmall: NLP Model of the Mind www.execonn.com/matt/Docs/NLP.htm SRI Coaching: Transformation From The Heart by Steve Linder, www.SRICoaching.com John Assaraf: Having it All, Longstreet Press www.JohnAssaraf.com Doreen Virtue: Divine Magic, Hay House (2006) www.Hayhouse.com Linda Matias: Career Coach www.Careerstrides.com; Linda@careerstrides.com Eckhart Tolle: A New Earth (2005), Penguin Group NLP, Richard Bandler & John Grindler Quotes: Jimi Hendrix Songs, Castles Made of Sand and Voodoo Child (Slight Return); Experience Hendrix Foundation, www.experiencehendrix.com
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FINAL NOTE
For those who want depressing information regarding the recession, the terrible job market, the housing crash, and virtually any other negative ideas imaginable, watch the nightly news. I dont subscribe to a regular diet of negative information, therefore Ive decided not to write about those topics in this book. We have a responsibility to ourselves to create our own dreams not the news.
You are more powerful than you think; Be It! Nor Shan
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Ron Nash is a career strategist, life coach, leadership speaker and NLP strategist. His clients include Fortune 500 companies the likes of Microsoft, The Anthony Robbins Companies, Cardinal Health and a plethora of others. He has also worked closely with start-ups, venture capital companies, and thousands of individuals worldwide. Ron has been a motivational and career management consultant for more than 15 years and has consistently raised the bar with his level of passion and commitment. Ron is also a talented music producer and entertainer. He has participated in numerous fund raisers and non-prot events that contribute to creating a better world. He is the proud husband to Michelle Matisse, a spiritual artist and painter. They have two beautiful children, Sunnaya and lan. His primary residence is in San Diego, California.
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Foreword by Steve Linder, founder of SRI Coaching

TRADE SECRETS OF A HEADHUNTER

ISBN 978-0-557-02826-9 Printed in the USA http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/

What People are Saying

(Click on titles to link to pages)

PART 1: THE FOUNDATION

PART 2: THE TRADE SECRETS

Steve Linder SRI Coaching TheStrategyGuy.com

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

Dont Lose Your Marbles!

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Use The Dream Job Online Coaching System

The Secret of a Compelling Vision

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

Online Coaching System

The Secret of Understanding Yourself

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

The Six Senses

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

The Human Filters: How We Filter the World

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

Online Coaching System

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

The Secret of Language: Internal and External Dialogue

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

The Spiral Eect

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

The Downward Spiral of Fear

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

The Spiral Eect with Drugs and Alcohol

Online Coaching System 34

The Secret of The Law of Attraction

Human Energy Fields

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

An Overview of the Seven Laws:

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

Online Coaching System

The Secret of a Dream Job Board

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

Euclid and the Career Square

a. Your Salary b. Bonus c. Salary Increase d. Co. Security

______ ______ ______ ______

(To calculate average, take your total and divide by 4.)

20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% 80% 90% 100%

Are You an Entrepreneur Stuck in an Employees Body?

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

Are You an Entrepreneur?

How to Find Your Dream JobEven in a Recession

who can make that decision. Whatever you decide, do it passionately!

Be an Entrepreneur in Your Own Company

Dream Job Board Imagery: