My dad Parameswaran Pillai Kythavilakom (1900-1977) My dad was and is my hero, my mentor as well as to some degree my friend in need.

He was basically a pious, rustic-manly-man with a soft benevolent heart that bled at the sight of needy, suffering and rejects. My paternal grand dad hailed from a village NWesterly of Kattathura, known as Karippuram near Painkulam to the north of the confluence of Kuzhithura Ar with the Laccadive Sea. His mom on the other hand was from the village of Kannannur, SEasterly of Kattathura. In those days women delivered at home and not in the hospitals. And Dads mom died soon after the delivery of the third child dads kid sister. My paternal uncle was Narayana Pillai known locally as contractor. I had not heard any details about my paternal grandpa nor about my paternal aunt anyway. My dads elder brother, a very tall, lean but boney and muscled man, my uncle, contractor Narayana Pillai was quite popular guy among his peers and disciples. Dad had a sister who died after the delivery of a baby (Damodaran Pillai). The family chief of Kythavilakom was Neelakanta Pillai my dads own maternal uncle- and he had a son Sankaranarayana Pillai- who failed in the ESLC class. The story has it that dad after completing his seventh class with a creditable pass joined the elementary-school-teacher-training course at the Balaramapuram Government Training School, to ready himself for a job as teacher. In dads own words at the conclusion of training he had posting in an elementary school in Arumana a plantation area today. The story is that this is the place and the job that united my mom and dad legally wedded couple. My mom, Ms. Esawari pillai (1910-1981) belonged to a wealthy landed family the Kanathara of Arumana, now in the Kanyakumari Dist of Tamil Nadu. My maternal grand dad had two wives anyway, (I was told or rather I overheard) which is quite the norm in those days. Generally the man those days would acquire a sibling or a cousin sister of wedded wife as a second or even third wife. Polygamous and polyandrous families were the rule rather than exception. The maternal grand dad was known as Adhikari- modern equivalent of a village officer those days. This person wielded and exercised powers vested on him through an agent of Maharaja of Travancore. However, in spite of the powers and popularity, the granddad was a very shaky man, scared of his enemies and worried about his personal safety and security of the lands and produce, according to my own dad. It was customary on the part of new residents and new government officials joining the offices (like school, police station or the temple as priest and the like) in Arumana to make a courtesy call on the Adhikari and in his residence so that the welfare and needs of the new officials are cared for or arranged for. When as a young schoolteacher, my dad joined the Arumana Elementary School, he too made the courtesy call to Adhikari, but never thought then that ultimately he will hand hold one of the girls from the very same home. It is but routine that the Adhikari will by a series of questions to figure out the whereabouts including ancestry of the new person and might even attempt to strike some links with the persons family and adhikaris contemporaries or friends and /or relations. When it came to my dads turn to report to the adhikari, striking a friendship with my dads paternal uncle was

not that tough. Kythavilakom Neelakanta Pillai was a gentleman and a fighter cast into one body was quite well known beyond the village of Kattathura. Moreover, it so happened that my mom was a student in the class four of the Arumana elementary school, where my dad taught then. Later on, with the warmth expressed by Adhikari to my dad grew warmer and finally culminated in my dad marrying my mom and then living in the same Kanathara home. After a while dad had a transfer to an elementary school in Kattathuta and hence dad and mom moved out of Kanathara to live in Kythavilakom home complex and in the portion sandwiched between the easterly and westerly segments of the complex. Our family lived at Kythavilakam till Oct., 1954, and then we moved to Trivandrum to live in a house rented to us by the Peroor Variyam the first house on the north side in the then variam lane (now renamed as Sri Krishana Lane in the memory of (late) R,Krishna Varier of Peroor Variam). My dad was serving as head teacher in different schools in what is now called Kanyakumari dist. And hence dad came home to Trivandrum only on weekends. So my eldest brother working as an office clerk in TDB, Nanthancod acted as the guardian. I went school at the TEM UPS located to the eastside of the General Hospital, Perrorkada. I joined the school in II form after the Labour week (or one week of cleaning and related work in the school) that began on the 2nd October and continued through a week and dedicated to the father of Nation . The nearly two years in this school was enjoyable. I had couple of good friends yet the friendship did not continue through my Salvation Army High School years (1956-59), where I had to build linkages with a new set of boys. In my first year in the High School, dad retired from the Elementary School at Nanthancod. We had scarcity of money in the household, but dads determination and efforts brought enough funds to meet the home needs. Dad had tutored scores of kids those days (1955-66) to secure a monthly income. Dad also moonlighted as a very reliable and well-known bone-setter and a natural practitioner, which too brought an income for us to live fairly well. After my passing the MSc degree in 1965, I too started earning salary from last quarter of 1966. We sold our land in Kattathura village in the early 1962 to build a house in the Kythavilakam lane, to the east side of Ambalammuku, where my two nephews are settled now. The house was occupied on 10-1-1963, when I was getting ready for the BSc final examination. However, my robust looking dad came down with a stroke in the early hours of a Saturday in Oct, 1967. I guess as instructed by dad I went to Kalady Paprameswaran Pillai a well known Physician in town. He came home with me in a taxi, checked out dad and provided a prescription of several medicines, which went though at least one whole month. But a regimen of Vathakodali oil of Ponmana Theriam veedu did the job of near perfect recovery. After joining Univ. of Kerala in 1968 March, I got married to Geetha, a young woman professional trained in Modern Medicine, in 1969. We had a son born in May 1970.

I went to Syracuse University, USA for a PhD degree and Geetha too joined me at the end of second year of study. We came home in Dec., 1976. My dad was then seemingly an old man in looks, yet was deeply involved in the temple and karayogam affairs. However, in Dec. second week he suffered a heart attack and was hospitalized. Recovered though, but left all of us behind and joined the ocean of eternal peace at 11:30 am on 17th Dec., 1977. Then he was 77 yr and mom was only just 67 yr. ------------thrivikramji@gmail.com