EXOTICS FOOD This is the situation where Mrs.

Ku is waiting for her husband for their second anniversary celebration in an exotic restaurant called Indahs Exotics. However, after 3 hours of agonizing wait, her husbands still not showing up. The waitress, Ms Indah (who is also the owner and the cook) is tired of waiting, so she approaches Mrs. Ku. Both women are losing their patience and they are growing frustrated. Its only a matter of time before they are at each others throat. Indah : For gods sake Maam, can I take your order now? Because you have been staring at the menu for years and I have been asking the same question for the hundredth time! Ku : You really have no patience do you? I need to understand what you wrote in this menu. Nothing I knew is on the list. Look at this, Fried Tarantula? Is that thing ever exist? Indah : Yes, it does. You should read the sign outside; its Indahs Exotics meaning you are suppose to not familiar with the food here. We serve the wackiest, offensive and bizarre foods which parade under the name of exotic foods. Ku : I know damned well what this restaurant is. That is why I'm here in the first place. Indah : So, why dont you just pick some food now so that Id not have to kick you out? Ku : Fine! I've already had my own choice but it was not on the list. Indah : *exasperates* Just tell me already! Ku : Hmm... You know the old Indiana Joness scene where the heroine was served with some dessert? I want that dessert, the Chilled Monkey Brain. Indah : I watched Indiana Jones once! But is that food a real thing? I thought they made it up as a joke to entertain the dumb audiences. *sceptical* Ku : Yes, Monkey Brain is rather controversial dish but it is eaten in China and other East-Asian countries. The brain is cooked with spices or it is eaten raw. What made this dish a controversy is the fact that monkeys are placed at a very high order in the food chain and experts say that the act of eating a monkeys brain can lead to cannibalism. It is said that the monkeys brain can cure erectile dysfunction but in fact, eating it is very dangerous and had many health risks. Indah : It has many health risks but you still want to eat it? Are you out of your mind? Ku : *smug* Who says the Monkey Brain is for me? That ridiculous food is for my slow ass husband. God, I've waiting for hours. I wish I could feed him with some weird food that would cause a more fatal effect. I swear he is slower than a dead snail! Indah : *amuses* Nah, if youre that angry with him. I suggest you to give him the Fried Tarantula. Ku : *curious* Is Fried Tarantula worse than Monkey Brains? Indah : *speaks absentmindedly* Oh nothing much, just a poisonous species of an icky looking, hairy spider that is deep-fried till perfection. In Cambodia, the Thai Zebra Tarantula, which is about the size of a human hand, is a common delicacy. These can be found everywhere in Cambodia- from street-side vendors to expensive restaurants. The tarantulas are pan-friend with garlic and a pinch of salt. It is crispy from the outside and gooey from the inside. Most people only eat the legs and upper head, which is said to be extremely crispy, but the bravehearted also eat the abdomen which contains the poison, if you want, you can fool him to eat the poison. So that hell be gone for good! *excited* Ku : *gulps* I think I'm not that cruel. I still love him even though he really loves to test my patience. So for our anniversary, I just want some nice warm soup for us. *smiles hopefully* Indah : *laughs* Oh dear, of course such soup is not available here. But there are other options; tell me which one you want; scorpion soup or raw blood soup? Or both?

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: Oh man, this is tough, probably the hardest decision I've made in my entire life! Hmm... Let me think. Raw blood soup is a traditional Vietnamese dish that chicken gizzards and raw duck blood, topped with peanuts and herbs. It is refrigerated so that the blood coagulates and has the texture of jelly. Eww... jelly blood? Thats gross! But as for the scorpion soup which is traditionally eaten in southern China, it gives the spooks just by looking at it. Apparently, scorpions have a nice, wooden taste and their venom is neutralized by the cooking process. But I heard preparing it is very dangerous, as the scorpion will try to sting you when you want to toss it into the pot. Sorry Ms Indah, I think I dont want both soups. : But why? I think scorpion soup and blood soup are good enough. They look tasty. : I think so. But after giving them some serious thoughts, I just realised I'm not a vampire, so I dont drink blood. And scorpion soup is very dangerous for you as the cook. I dont want you to get stung and die when you cook it. I dont want to get the blame and go to jail for that! : Maam, you are not making things easier. You are very difficult to please! I can see why your husband doesnt really want to meet you here. : *offended* Lady, you better watch your mouths before I wash it with scorpions stings. Give me something else will you! r else I will : *interrupts* Okay, chillax you tyrant diva. This is the last one; another soup. : *annoyed* What soup? : It is a fruit bat soup. : *indifferent* Sounds interesting. Please enlighten me. : The entire process for preparing fruit bat soup, as it's enjoyed in Guam, is as follows: rinse off the bat, boil it, chop some vegetables (sometimes), douse everything in coconut milk, and serve. Fur is eaten along with eyes, wings, and just about everything else that's not bone. : I think that is a bad idea. *eyes wide* : Yeah, but it's not a bad idea because it offends our delicate sensibilities; it's a bad idea because eating this is a marvellous way to punch holes in your brain. When they're alive, these bats eat plants that are known to cause neurological diseases in humans, so when you take a bat with a belly full of poison seeds and toss it right into your stew, it doesn't take a doctor to figure out what's going to happen next. Parkinson's isn't even the worst part; it's actually only a third of the neurological disorder you're likely to get from this. The other two-thirds are Lou Gehrig's disease and Alzheimer's; they result in a cocktail of cerebral malfunctions. I am reasonably certain that a diagnosis that involves lumping together all those diseases means it's probably something bad. : Wow, the diseases sound deadly and you recommend it to me? Are you trying to kill me? : Nope! But If theres any chance, I'd totally grab it. Anyway, you can order the soup for your husband. *excited again* : *grimaces* For tonight, I dont think I will order any soup. I just want something to drink and I prefer if the drink is not harmful because I'm the one who will drink it. So, I think I go with the Sour Human Toe Cocktail. : What, human toe cocktail? Are you a cannibal or what? And do you want to eat me next? : Trust me, I wont eat that toe... or you. I only want to drink the cocktail only. It is a versatile drink, in that the liquid part can be whatever you like. But even if the wondrous elixir is so perfectly potent and gloriously flavoured, what you've made is not a sour toe cocktail until you drop a disembodied human toe in it. Basically, in 1973, Captain Dick Stevenson found some guy's frostbitten toe floating in a jar of moonshine in some cabin somewhere. After concluding that it probably belonged to a Yukon moonshine runner and

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dated back to the 1920s, he said to himself, "That needs to be in a drink," and the sour toe cocktail was born. The best part? There's a rule if you drink it: "You can drink it fast, you can drink it slow, but the lips have got to touch the toe." No swallowing though, because severed human toe is hard to fine So, please give me one. Make it quick. I'm thirsty. *gulps audibly* Well, you said it yourself the toes are hand to find and I'm pretty sure it is a crime to cut off someones toe just to make it a cocktail. So, I'm sorry, we dont have that creepy cocktail here. *eyes Mrs. Ku up and down warily* Hey, what kind of exotic food is this? I assure you at this rate you are going, this so called exotic restaurant wont last long. *frustrated* Well, if you want the drink so bad, you can make it yourself using your own toe. I wont stop you. But how about we replace the drink with some cheese from Italy? We call it Casu Marzu. It is the most exotics food in this restaurant. *proud* Well, I like cheese. Cheese isnt gross but I dont think it is close to exotic either. What about this Casu Marzu that is so special? *eyes narrow* Casu Marzu is a type of sheep milk cheese which contains live insect larvae. The process that goes in the making of Casu Marzu is less fermentation and more decomposition. The live larvae are said to give the cheese a unique taste and soft, gooey texture. No matter how tasty this is, getting someone to eat a dish when you can clearly see worms wriggle in it is definitely a task that the Italians mastered! *sighs dreamily* You really have lost your mind, dont you? Do you really think I would touch that rotten food? *point the index finger* There is no way I'm eating maggots out of some sour cheese. Arrgghhh!! This is so frustrating! Just order some food already! I was not paid to serve you only! I'm busy! You are so wasting my time. *turns to walk away* What do you mean by busy? For past several hours, I'm the only customer here. *turns back and speaks under her breath* You sure know how to grate on my nerves. Whatever, this is last one, for real. Im in the mood of seafood things now. So give me this; the sea urchins. *determined* I think we have it here, but I dont quite remember. Is this creature served alive? Yep, it's another dish that will squirm its way right down your goddamned throat. It's probably the least appetizing thing that you can imagine, being that it's not much more than a tennis-ball-size tangle of thorns. But it's full of fleshy and reportedly delicious chunks that are, for all intents and purposes, its gonads. And if you're in the mood for some sweet, tasty urchin nuts, then you don't have to wait for the thing to die; you can just crack its shell open in a vice and tuck in as it squirms. So it is settled then, after hours of long wait you finally choose a food. And it is sea urchins. Yeah, and I'm actually thinking about filing a divorce to my two-years-husband. *mumbles* *gawps* Wow that is drastic. But why? It cannot be because of his lateness? No, he's not late. I think he'd never show up. A week ago, I found out he has an affair with his secretary. So before I came here, I give him two choices; come here and I will forgive him otherwise we are done. I dont think he has the gut to leave me for that woman so I wait here. But see, he chooses to leave me here! Eating sea urchins! Alone!*sobs uncontrollably* h I'm so sorry. Dont worry, next time you come here I will serve you bear claws for free. After you finish eating it, you can bring home the claws so that you can use it to scratch your ex-husband eyes out. If the police found out, tell them a giant bear has attacked him. Thanks, thats very thoughtful of you. But there's no next time, dear. Because Ill never come here again. *expressions serious*