PRESIDENT COLIN B.

BOBER
Term: 2009 - 2011

MEDIA COLLECTION FOR 2008 - 2013 UNIVERSITY OF OKLAHOMA

OU Grades Out Well on Accommodating Students with Disabilities

Julianna Parker/Norman Transcript - November 13, 2008 For Colin Bober, cracked sidewalks and broken elevators can pose a challenge. Because the University of Oklahoma has its share of those, the sophomore makes sure he allows plenty of time to get to class each day. "In most cases I adjust my timing according to the weather," said Bober, who uses a walker to get around. Snow and ice make travel even more difficult for the business administration major who has used a walker since he started walking. "Trying to get this thing to go through the snow is a chore in itself," said Bober, originally from Houston. Bober said OU does a good job of accommodating students with disabilities, but there could always be improvements. One of the main reasons OU has done so well on issues of accessibility, Bober said, is the Disability Resource Center on campus. Staff members at the center are quick to help students with disabilities when they ask for it, he said. "It's been a big support system in order to be able to function as a student," he said. Bober said the resource center coordinates with his professors to have extra time to take his tests. And because stairs aren't an option for him, he's called the center when the elevator breaks down in the older buildings on campus. "This elevator's not exactly in my top five," he said recently as he entered the one in Dale Hall on campus. It squealed in protest as it slowly climbed to the second floor. Bober said when this one temporarily broke, the resource center sent someone to fix it. When Bober arrived late to class, he said his professor was understanding. OU's accessibility The Disability Resource Center is the central point of contact for OU's about 500 students with documented disabilities, in addition to the faculty and staff with disabilities, said Suzette Dyer, director of the center. Those disabilities range from mobility, sight and hearing impairment to chronic health conditions and learning disabilities. The center exists to make educational opportunities available to everyone, Dyer said. To that end, the center has a variety of functions, including reviewing building plans for new facilities, providing alternative testing services, providing sign language services for classes,

submitting work orders for physical improvements to campus and linking students' laptops directly to the professor's so they can see PowerPoint. "There's all sorts of things you can do with technology," Dyer said. The center has always been within Student Affairs at OU, but got a more formal structure in 1973 -- 17 years before the ADA. The center's philosophy is that every person with a disability has different needs, and so the staff of four full-time, two graduate assistants, one student worker and countless contract employees work with students, faculty and staff with disabilities to find out what will make their roles possible, Dyer said. "It's very much an interactive process," she said. Often, people with disabilities know when they cannot do something, but don't necessarily know what should be done to accommodate them, she said. Sometimes the solution can be as simple as using a different kind of chair, Dyer said. The center recently found out about a building on campus that didn't have a strobe light alert on the fire alarm system. Someone who was hearing impaired had a class in the building and it posed a safety threat, so Dyer requested visual fire alarms be installed. "And they were installed by the end of the day, so I was very excited to see how quickly things can happen," Dyer said. The university tries to do more than what is required of them in the Americans with Disabilities Act, she said. As a result, the Americans with Disabilities Amendments Act that goes into effect Jan. 1 won't change much of what the center is already doing, she said. "For us there's not going to really be any significant changes as far as what we're required to do," Dyer said. The amendment defines "disability" more broadly than the courts have in the past, but OU also has defined disabilities more broadly, she said. Students with disabilities Another resource offered to students with disabilities is the student group the Association of Disabled Students. Association president Austin Slaymaker said the group has four initiatives right now: Accessibility and safety, awareness/advocacy and membership development. The group has about 30 members, and Slaymaker hopes to increase that number. "One of ADS's goals is to help disabled students become advocates for themselves and to be active on campus," the political science and business sophomore said. The organization also wants to raise awareness on campus about people with disabilities. "Personally I would like other students to use proper etiquette when encountering other students with disabilities," Slaymaker said.

Slaymaker, who uses forearm crutches because he has muscular dystrophy, said some of his fellow students don't know how to interact with students with disabilities. Earlier this year, he met someone at a function who immediately asked him, "Hey, dude, what's wrong with you?" "That's an extreme case, but things like that happen I would say on a weekly basis," Slaymaker said. And there are more subtle offenses, too, like overly helpful people holding doors open for him and then not realizing they are standing in his way. Slaymaker said he would advise people who do not have disabilities to "use discretion" in their interactions with those with disabilities. "You would never want to ask someone an extremely personal thing when you first meet them, and a disability is extremely personal," he said. As far as the university administration is concerned, Slaymaker said OU does a very good job making higher education accessible to all. There are still some improvements, however, that need to be made to the physical campus, he said. The new buildings are made with people with disabilities in mind, but the older buildings on campus must be retrofitted to be accessible, Slaymaker said. "All the new buildings are perfect," he said. "They're up to code, they're perfect and I applaud that. The old buildings, it's a slower process." Those building upgrades come down to money, but he said OU does a good job with the resources it has. There are some areas that still need work. Slaymaker, like Bober, cited elevators as an area that needs improvement on campus. Other examples include more parking spaces for disabled people, curb cutouts and accessible bathrooms, he said. Sutton Hall on Elm Avenue is the only building on campus that's not accessible to people who use mobility devices, he said. Making it possible Bober, who also is vice president of the ADS, agreed that there are still physical challenges on campus. He blames part of that on funding and part on students themselves. "The accessibility of the campus depends on what the university knows," he said. Students need to be responsible to tell someone if something is inaccessible to them, he said, from a cracked sidewalk to a bathroom sink. Different disabilities come with different problems and challenges, he said. "The resource center has been really good about getting estimates and saying when it will get fixed," Bober said. "... But they can only fix what they know." The university does a pretty good job of abiding by the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, he said. But many people, including those with disabilities, have a misconception about the ADA. "To me, the ADA is designed to make things possible," he said. People with disabilities should do as much as they can on their own and then the ADA steps in to do the rest, he said.

"A lot of people think it's supposed to make things easy, and I don't share that view."

Disability Resource Center gives students chances to succeed

Posted: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 12:00 am Matthew Mozek With over 500 students, faculty and staff registered, the OU Disability Resource Center offers Sooners an environment to fully participate in campus activities and a support system for those individuals who seek help with their course work, said director Suzette Dyer. Colin Bober, president of the Association of Disabled Students, said the university does a good job accommodating students with disabilities; however, there is always room for improvement. Bober, a business administration junior, said he believes the Disability Resource Center on campus is an asset for everyone with a disability, and professors often allow him extra time to take tests. Bober said he believes it is the responsibility of students with disabilities to take advantage of those accommodations. The success of a disabled student depends on the actions we take, the decisions we make and the perception of ourselves, Bober said. The university makes a great effort to ensure that everyone can participate in all the university has to offer, but disabled students must pursue those activities themselves and cannot wait for new friends and activities to find them. Bober and Slaymaker said they believe there is very little that separates students with disabilities from the rest of the student population. Some students feel as though they are different and that there is a division line between them and the rest of the student population, but when you put it in perspective, we are all on campus to achieve the same goals, Bober said. We all need friends [and] fun things to do, and sometimes [we] need some help. So in my opinion, if a disabled student feels as though there is in fact a division line, it is because they consciously view themselves as different, and drew the division line themselves. Areas that need improvement for disabled students include on-campus elevators, the number of handicapped parking spaces and curb cutouts and bathroom accessibility, Bober said.

Austin Slaymaker, former ADS president and current ADS treasurer, said he would like to see improvements made regarding the older structures on campus. The newer buildings are easily accessible, but the older ones could use some updating, said Slaymaker, political science junior. Slaymaker said he believes updating the older structures comes down to money, which is hard to come by in this difficult economic climate. Still, the OU does a good job meeting his needs and gives him an equal opportunity for a higher education, Slaymaker said. OU gives disabled students the resources they need, Bober said. As long as disabled students can maintain a positive self-image and make positive decisions, there is absolutely no reason for a student to not be a success at the University of Oklahoma, he said. The center identifies students who are eligible for accommodations using the federal definition of disability, Dyer said. This includes a person who has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more of a persons major life activities, has a record of such impairment or is regarded as having such impairment, she said. While having a disability can be challenging for many individuals, a seasoned veteran like Bober said he doesnt make excuses. [Having a disability] is like playing baseball, Bober said. Sure, disabled students may get a lot of curve balls tossed their way throughout their lifetime, but they cannot forget that everyone is playing the same game; everyone gets their fair share of curve balls in life. The Disability Resource Center offers building accessibility, interpreters, note-taking assistance, alternative testing, tutoring, adaptive computer labs, priority enrollment and equipment such as Braille printers, computers with speech synthesis and recognition and assistive listening devices, as stated on its Web site.

Disabled Students Overcome Challenges

Chelsey Kraft/Sooner Yearbook -- August 16, 2010 Leaving home for college is supposed to be one of the most promising and exciting times in a young adults life. Some students may suffer from homesickness. Others, their first broken heart. Difficult classes and homework may be overwhelming. For others, add in another obstacle: a physical disability. The addition of a physical disability can make it seem as if the obstacles and

adversity already present in a college realm are insurmountable. Despite facing limitations that may make a college career more difficult, disabled students are capable of finding success. The definition of success varies from one person to another, and individuals can find satisfaction in reaching what they believe to be a successful goal. For Eric Gaffney, aviation-professional pilot senior, his success stems from a childhood passion. Through travels with his fathers job as a mechanic for American Airlines, Gaffney decided he wanted to become a pilot, despite being born without his right hand. I initially doubted myself when coming to OU, Gaffney said. At first, I was in biochemistry, but I wanted to do what I had always wanted to do, which was fly. I feel like that was what I was born to do. The task of flying an airplane is not a simple one for Gaffney. To prove his capability as a pilot, he had to pass three special medical flight tests that pilots with two hands are not required to take. He said he first had to prove he could fly the airplane by himself, then that he could fly the plane from both seats and finally that he could fly with manual flaps instead of electrical ones. Today, he is essentially restriction free. To overcome the restrictions and earn those extra certificates is something that I smile about every day, Gaffney said. It makes me really happy to know that there is no difference between me and another pilot. I may have to work a little harder and quicker, and by no means is it easy, but it is definitely nice to know I am restriction free. Business junior Colin Bober saw a positive attitude as key in discovering success. The main thing that has contributed to my success as a student is having an open mind and saying, This is what I have, this is what I need to do, this is why I am here, and I cant let this really define who I am because ultimately the way I grew up in my household and through my life is that I dont see myself as disabled, Bober said. Bober, who was born with cerebral palsy, has regular motor function, but is unable to maintain his own balance. Still, he found college intimidating following a high school career where some people made fun of him after not taking time to understand his situation. As a freshman, I didnt know where I fit into a college community, but to put it into perspective, nobody does, Bober said. Through a need for involvement, Bober joined the Association of Disabled Students and now serves as president. Attending law school is an option, and he understands the importance of support from others in his life. My overall success has to be a collaborative effort between me, the university and everyone around me, Bober said. While some students have adapted to a born disability, others are forced to adjust to a new situation following injury. A double major in political science and international and area studies, senior Kyle Morrison experienced an injury resulting in quadriplegia at the age of 16.

Morrison said he broke his neck while jumping a bike. The impact snapped and dislocated his fifth vertebra and damaged the sixth, resulting in an incomplete injury of his spinal cord. Now, he lacks most motor movement and sensory feeling below his chest and down the back of his arms, requiring him to use an electric wheelchair. Beyond the physical limitations, which I do not believe I will ever be OK with, are the social barriers, Morrison said. Obviously, I am not just like everyone else physically, and I think it would be a mistake to assert otherwise. Socially, Morrison feels as if it may be difficult for disabled people to associate with people because an average person may want to avoid offending someone with a disability. But, overall, I think that people can overcome this initial uneasiness after getting to know us and realizing that we are pretty similar, he said. Yet Morrison understands the feelings of awkwardness and uneasiness he felt around disabled people before suffering his injury. I can recognize that many young, disabled people do not go to college and essentially shut down and give in to depression and helplessness, so I have had success in continuing my education and staying somewhat active, Morrison said. Physical disabilities are often frustrating and discouraging issues to face, but it is possible for students to find happiness and success in the midst of the troubles. It all comes down to how you perceive yourself and what you are willing to do, Bober said.

Organization rewards student groups for disability awareness

Posted: Tuesday, November 9, 2010 12:21 am Megan Deaton The Association of Disabled Students recently distributed awards to student groups that go the extra mile to help disabled students on campus. [The association]s objective is to assist students with disabilities in becoming fully integrated into campus life, said Colin Bober, group president. The Extra Mile Award was given to student groups that have made an effort to make life on campus easier for disabled students. The association met with the Interfraternity Council and

Panhellenic Council to promote accessibility opportunities for each house to install for disabled students. Since then, a number of houses have really stepped up to make changes, big or small, and as a result, we have seen an increase in participation for disabled students in the Greek community, Bober said. Alpha Gamma Delta, Delta Gamma, Kappa Alpha Theta, Kappa Kappa Gamma and Alpha Phi were among the Greek organizations to receive it in 2010. Kappa Alpha Theta received the award for putting in a ramp in the back of their house, and also installing a bathroom on the first floor of the house that is completely accessible. We have potential new members who sometimes need accommodations, so its important that they can have the same experiences that any other student looking to be in a sorority would have, said Emily Payne, Kappa Alpha Theta president. If we have a student that needs a space, we will put in a physical disability space for that student, even though we have already met the required number, said Rick Adamo, operations manager for Parking Services. We go out of our way to try to help them get as close as possible to anywhere they want to go. The association hopes to make all students aware of the challenges that disabled students face every day. Bober encourages students to ask themselves the questions, If I were on crutches or in a wheelchair, what would I need to achieve my daily routine with the campus as it is today? and Would I be able to do it on my own? The award is presented twice a semester to student organizations, sororities, fraternities, faculty members, administrators or individual students, according to the associations website.

Students create map for disabled Sooners

Posted: Wednesday, April 20, 2011 12:22 am Sara Groover An OU student association has helped develop a map to assist students with disabilities on campus.

The Disability Resource Center has created a campus map designed for disabled students, said Colin Bober, Association of Disabled Students president and business administration senior. I was given the opportunity to advise on the look of the map and make sure the different parts could be easily distinguished for ease of viewing to promote ease of access and knowledge of the issues students with disabilities face at OU, Bober said. In the map, a tab with information on handicap-accessible entrances, elevators and bathrooms is presented alongside general information on campus buildings and the departments. The association formed in response to the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, association faculty adviser Suzette Dyer said. It started in response to architectural access issues, and the initial members were primarily individuals with mobility impairments who wanted equal access to facilities, Dyer said. The association is an advocacy and educational organization that works to promote full campus participation for students with disabilities to ensure they have access to equal educational opportunities, Dyer said. Incoming association President Candace Clark, management information systems junior, said she sees her term as an opportunity to build connections with other on-campus organizations. I want to get more involved with the Greek community and other organizations on campus so that people will know more about us, Clark said. Several fraternity and sorority houses have installed wheelchair-accessible ramps, and others have plans in the works, Bober said. Last year when we went through [sorority] recruitment, we had three girls with disabilities, Clark said. A lot of the girls had no idea how to deal with it. The association also provides information to campus organizations looking to make themselves more accessible to disabled students, Bober said. A lot of these organizations want to be able to accommodate students with disabilities, and we offer them perspective, Bober said. Disabled students should speak out and inform the public of their needs, Clark said. If a disabled student needs something, they need to step up and say something or there is not going to be anyone to help them, Bober said. Bober said all students, disabled or not, should get involved with the association.

New perspective needed to discuss disabilities on campus

Posted: Monday, September 12, 2011 12:01 am My name is Colin Bober, and Im a recent graduate of OU. During my time at OU, I served as president of the Association of Disabled Students from 2009 to 2011. In that time, I had the privilege of working with The Daily in our pursuit of enhancing the overall college experience for all students but especially those with disabilities. Our group and The Daily worked together in that objective, and in the spring of 2011, we awarded The Daily with the Extra Mile Award for outstanding service to the organization. Although I am continually grateful for the service provided by The Daily during that time, I have a concern about two articles released on Sept. 6, entitled Campus Structure Can Cause Problems For Students With Disabilities and Campus Access Not Always Easy Despite Improvements. While both of these articles are simply the opinions of those interviewed, I believe these articles do a great disservice to the hard work and commitment of administrators, faculty, staff and students who worked incredibly hard to make the university accessible for everyone. These two articles essentially throw these individuals under the bus. I wholeheartedly acknowledge the principle of voicing concerns of the students, but this was handled in an unprofessional manner. The Association of Disabled Students primary focus is to advocate for students with disabilities and hear their concerns. Students should be able to voice their concerns, but there is a correct and appropriate way to do that. Students should voice their concerns to individuals of the OU community to resolve any issues. The Disability Resource Center is a great place to start. The university should be given the opportunity to resolve any possible concerns before they are spread through the entire campus. Further, students with disabilities should not be approached by the media in an attempt to expose potential flaws with the university. It is important to keep in mind that there are approximately 500 students with disabilities registered with the Disability Resource Center, and since registration with that office is not required, the number of disabled students on campus could be much greater. Not to mention that the entering freshman class is the largest in OU history. It is unrealistic to expect that the campus will suit the needs of all students with disabilities at all times. It is also worth mentioning that the individuals mentioned above are responsible for great improvements made to the campus in the past two years. For example, the Disability Resource Center released a campus wide accessibility map to ensure that students could navigate not only the campus but individual buildings as well. Housing & Food has renovated rooms in the dorms to allow students with disabilities to live independently. Parking Services has ensured that students with disabilities have somewhere to park and that

those spaces are as close to the buildings as possible. Student Life has worked with the Greek community to make sure all students can participate in Greek life. Not only have they done all this work in a collaborative effort with the students, but they have done it because they believe everyone should have the same opportunities, not because it was required. The voluntary efforts should be recognized by everyone at OU, and The Daily has the opportunity to play a pivotal role in that process. Facilities Management and other offices on campus are quick to resolve issues that arise and deserve the opportunity to do so. Negative commentary only slows down the process of making OU the best college campus it can be. The Daily provides a great service to OU. I appreciate the work that is done with the newspaper and hope that in the future, The Daily will have a new perspective when working with students with disabilities and writing about campus access. Colin B. Bober, University of Oklahoma class of 2011

One Sooner shares his views on problems facing students with disabilities
Posted: Thursday, April 11, 2013 5:34 pm | Updated: 1:05 pm, Mon Dec 30, 2013.

Colin Bober While I was president of the Association of Disabled Students (now the Association for Students with Disabilities) on the University of Oklahoma campus, people would always ask me what my view was of the problems facing students with disabilities. Some were surprised and even offended about my response, but it was and is something I stand by today. Being a student with a disability is hard and nobody disputes that, but nobody gets to choose the cards they are dealt either. In addition to that, life is hard for everybody, so when somebody tells me that a disability makes them different, I am inclined to disagree. Some say that there are two classes of people: disabled and not. The fact is that any division line between disabled individuals and people without disabilities does not exist and if it does, it's been artificially created. Without getting too philosophical here, how do you define a disability? It's not worth picking up a dictionary to look it up because it is all a matter of perception, not definition. For example, I knew this girl in high school who could not see without her contacts, she was literally blind as a bat without her contacts. With them, she could obviously see clearly. Her

family may have all had bad vision and she carried on the trait or she just got the luck of the draw. On the flip side, there is another girl I knew who went blind later in life and she can see nothing at all with no family history of blindness. Now, which one of them is disabled? Nobody ever says that a person who is blind without contacts is disabled, so what is it that makes the other person who can't see either disabled? Is it the permanency factor? Maybe. But before Lasik, bad vision was a permanent thing, much like blindness. The alternative is that disabilities are perceptions of degrees of personal ability and does not create a separate class of individuals for social purposes. Take me for another example. I was born with damage to the brain that controls my overall motor function. As a result of that, I use a walker to walk. So the question is, does the fact that I use a walker automatically put me in a separate class of people socially? The answer is no. Walking is walking. You put one foot in front of the other and there is no other way to do it. Sure, the walker helps me stay up on my feet because my brain doesn't recognize balance. However, if I am walking with a walker beside somebody with crutches, how come she is not considered disabled but I am? The answer is perception. People get injured all the time doing sports and other stuff so seeing people on crutches is a normal thing. Seeing 23 year olds in walkers is not. She can't walk on her own without crutches and I can't either without the walker, in that regard we are no different. We appear different because people aren't used to seeing certain things and are very comfortable with what they know the so-called "comfort zone". But guess what? Disabled people can't use that as a difference either because they especially have and like to be in their comfort zone. Impairments do make you different because it is a unique feature, just like blonde and brown hair, but that still doesn't put a disabled individual in a different social group. Some students are particular about the words used to describe them because they dont want to be labeled as disabled, but as we already know, that's the name society gave and it's not going anywhere. The fact of the matter is that they all have impairments that make them disabled from a physical point of view. Does that matter? No, because their difference from others can easily be equated to two people with a different eye color. Why should physical differences be given any more weight than others? They shouldn't, but when they are, it all comes back to what people perceive and are used to -- not because it actually means anything. But, if a disability is all about perception, then why not just change people's perception of you as an individual? See, what defines us are the decisions we make, the actions we take, and the perception we have of ourselves. So, if a person believes that using the word disability automatically puts them in a separate social group, could it be said that the problem is not how society perceives them to be, but is really how they perceive themselves in society? For example, we all need friends. We all need support and fun activities, and love and affection. We all aspire to have jobs, to fall in love and have a meaningful, happy life. So, if people with or without disabilities all need the same things in life and have roughly the same aspirations, what is it that creates that separate group that people with disabilities claim exists? The answer is nothing. Since we all need these things and we have the power to choose how we are perceived by others by the way we conduct ourselves, the only way somebody can say that there is a separate social group or a division line between disabled people and the rest, it is because they

created it and drew the line themselves. So in reality, it's not necessarily that society labels people as disabled, sometimes the label comes from the inside. When people do get labeled as disabled that is when the individual gets to discover what they are truly made of. If you want friends, go get them. Nobody makes friends from walking down the street or sitting in class without initiating some kind of interaction. There is no reason to believe that the process of making friends is any more difficult than for anyone else. The problem is that a person must be willing to take the first step. Yeah, people stare, people talk, and sometimes people laugh. However, we all need interaction and there is no accommodation or law that is going to bring it to a disabled individual. The responsibility is solely on the individual just like it is for everyone else. Its the same thing if somebody needs an activity to participate in. If they want it, they need to go find it. A lot of times, people with disabilities say that they want to be treated like everyone else and that is why they don't want to be labeled as such. With the ambition comes a duty to do everything like everyone else. People can't pick and choose when they want to be treated like everyone else and then use accommodations because they are available and easier. Once they declare they are to be treated like everyone else, it's a one-way street. Otherwise, all credibility is lost. So, when people with disabilities choose their path and define themselves as somebody other than a disabled individual, the label eventually disappears and people begin to see them as they see themselves. Colin B. Bober is a juris doctor candidate

A little perspective on what proper disability etiquette is

Posted: Thursday, September 26, 2013 7:21 pm | Updated: 6:36 pm, Sun Jan 12, 2014.

Colin Bober A couple of weeks ago I attended a meeting where students were talking about their desire to spread disability awareness and educate others about proper disability etiquette. I started to wonder if there is such a thing and concluded that there isnt. Throughout my time in leadership and my interactions with people similarly situated as myself, there is a huge desire for disabled individuals to be treated the same as any other person. But are they treated any differently, and if so, whos responsible for causing such treatment? I would suggest that the cause of such different treatment falls squarely on the disabled community. Someone once introduced the principle of person first language to me because I had never heard it before and when they explained it to me, I thought it was a lost proposition. But why? The idea behind person first language is that disabilities are merely characteristics of

individuals, and so when you refer to a person with an impairment, you are supposed to refer to them as a person with a disability instead of a disabled person. As a result, you put the person BEFORE their disability. Granted, it sounds better but it falls short in practice. Consider this: if the objective is to de-emphasize a persons disability and tell everyone that you are a person first, and then in the same breath you tell everyone that if you are going to refer to them, you are to refer to them as a person with a disability, they have just contradicted themselves. If we say that disabilities are mere characteristics and then turn around and distinguish ourselves based on that characteristic by being so particular about the order of words, we have indirectly emphasized what we are trying to de-emphasize. So then the question becomes, who is really the one who is looking at who differently? Further, if our goal is to be looked at as people and a disability is only a characteristic, why mention it in the first place? Hair color is a characteristic, but nobody refers to somebody as a person with brown hair and uses it as a dispositive description of who they are as people. In essence, person first language is a counter-productive method to cover up a characteristic that we as disabled people give more weight than necessary and then project it in such a way that we believe its really society that looks at us differently. Some in society may look at us differently simply because of the way we appear or because of the challenges we face, but nobody will look at us as people until we do. Therefore, if there is a line between us, it is in large part because we drew it ourselves. If person first language is good for one thing, it is placing a barrier in between normal communication between a disabled person and one without a disability. This is because instead of looking at a disabled person and wondering things like I wonder what his name is, it turns into how am I supposed to refer to this person without offending them? In that case, the potential for any kind of interaction is sharply diminished. In the end, person first language only covers up a sensitivity that has yet to be dealt with and thus is a personal, not societal problem. It is easy to try and push such a narrative because people try and be so politically correct, but life is not fair and it is not easy. The question is not what you call it, it is what are you going to do with it? Disabled people dont like to be called disabled but why do we call it that? Its because it is the name society gave us and its not going anywhere. But does that even matter? No, I am a person and only a person because thats who I chose to be. Society doesn't get to choose what we do with our lives and dictate how we turn out, we do. Moreover, the real world is not so PC so instead of trying to use person first language to cover the obvious up, why not focus on how we will respond to it? The use of such approach will inevitably lead to the demise of disabled individuals because their expectations as applied in the real world are unrealistic. Adapt, dont accommodate. Then disabled people go on to suggest that people are mean to them, say offensive things, and should interact with them in such a specific way. Again, the ball falls in the disabled communitys court. The simple fact is that people will interact with others the way that they interact with them. Disabled people will also paint their own destiny based on the way that they conduct themselves with others. Generally, people do not understand things until they have to come face to face with them. People will not inherently know what the effects of multiple sclerosis, cerebral palsy, and multiple other disabilities just as they will not be aware of the

devastating effects of cancer or Alzheimers disease until theyve known somebody whos had it. Why would they? I think it is also arguable that disabled individuals perspective on life and their knowledge about their own disabilities would be drastically different if they didnt have them. In such a case, disabled people have the obligation to explain what challenges they face when asked. Disabled people want people to understand but seem unwilling to express the information that will help with that understanding because requests are viewed as assaults on their abilities instead of simple inquiries. If somebody is willing to take that step and ask the question of how we ended up in the situation we are in and then a disabled person gets offended simply because they didn't like the delivery, the chance of understanding is lost. Moreover, as we all do, when we are scarred by events and interactions with others, we take that single instance and extrapolate that instance and apply it to an entire class of people, accurate or not. This is our defense mechanism. We will be offended and lash out because of a simple inquiry and thus turn people away. Again, disabled people will paint their own picture and should tread lightly. People dont know everything and do their best to learn, so disabled people should give them that chance by taking a step back and asking themselves whether the question asked is meant to be insulting or a mere inquiry. Disabled people will also make lists of what they find to be acceptable and unacceptable conduct for non-disabled individuals. There is no question that disabled people are proud of their independence because it takes longer to earn, but that doesnt mean we can take shots at people for just trying to help. Some disabled people dont like others to open doors for them or offer assistance in some cases, and some do. The problem with the idea of disability etiquette is that it varies from one person to another. What is acceptable to one is unacceptable to another and there is no way to know where you stand. Therefore, the only standard that should be used when dealing with disabled people is within the bounds of common courtesy and decency. You have no obligation to open doors for anyone or assist in any form or fashion, but when you do, you should be appreciated. So heres the rule, if you go out and open a door for somebody with a disability and they do not acknowledge you in any way, let go of the door. If it hits them, it hits them and they will get the message that it is THEIR conduct that is unacceptable. Disabled people cannot hold others to a higher standard than they hold themselves and if they truly desire to be treated like all others, they should conduct themselves in the same fashion or bear the consequences for failing to do so. Therefore, if the proposition of disability etiquette does in fact exist, it goes both ways and the responsibility seems to be weighted more heavily on the disabled community. Again in this situation, any division line that is drawn is drawn by us based on the way we treat and interact with others. Still, there are some who will inevitably struggle with interacting with disabled people. For those that do, consider this: look at your friends and those you love. Ask yourself why you like them and why they mean so much to you. Do you like them because they can hear, speak, or walk? Did you fall in love with them because they have all four, fully functional limbs? Or was it because of the way they make you feel? That they make you laugh and there is some inherent quality that made the decision that they were worth it? The simple fact of life is that it changes in ways that we are not ready for and we dont get to choose. If such an event were to occur and a person you know became disabled in some form or fashion, do you like or love them any less?

Do they become any less of a friend? Do they make you laugh any less? Do they become any less of a mother or father? If the answer to these questions is yes, you have learned something about yourself. If the answer is no, then why interact with a disabled person any differently? You like and love the people in your life because of inherent qualities, not physical ones so why not give others the same focus and opportunity? There is no doubt that there are just some people in life that we do not like for one reason or another and we cannot possibly like everyone because we are not saints. But before you make the decision that you dont like someone or cant interact with someone, you should ask yourself why that is the case and if such a determination is justified in relation to the people you do interact with. The ultimate point is that disabled people have the same ambitions and desires as everyone else. We aspire to have friends, a family of our own, and great careers to live a meaningful, happy life. The catch is that we must conduct ourselves in a way that others also desire to interact with us. In order to do so, we must quit differentiating ourselves based on futile characteristics, remove the self-imposed social barriers, and treat people the way we want to be treated. In sum, there is no such thing as disability etiquette; there is only a general principle of common courtesy and decency. If we are to accept the idea of disability etiquette, the responsibility is ours and not yours. We will paint our own destiny, but we will not rise or fall together because we can choose not to. Ultimately, it is time to raise the bar and expectations towards disabled individuals as they, and they alone, control their own destiny. Colin Bober is an OU law student and a disabled individual with cerebral palsy. He was the president of the Association of Students with Disabilities on campus for 2 years.