This is the first draft of the script, the ending is not finished and if anyone has any suggestions

or additions or changes Id love to hear them!

ADVERTISEMENT FOR INFLATABLE GOD: SCRIPT

COLOUR BACKDROP With a stylised drawing of a church way off in the distance. AVERAGE FRANK, a mid-30s character in a sweater vest and glasses stands in a space with just a blank, coloured backdrop. He is looking down and fidgeting with his fingers.

NARRATOR A friendly, enthusiastic voice, typical of 1950s-1960s TV advertisement. Are you lonely and depressed and seek consultation? In desperate need of answers to your prayers from the holiest of holy ones in a snap? Camera zoom in uncomfortably close to AVERAGE FRANKs face as the atmosphere darkens steadily and Average Franks face pales as he becomes more stressed and panicked. He looks to the blood on his hands that only appear in this shot.

NARRATOR (CONTD) Narrators voice is suddenly accusing and warped. Or perhaps youre desperate need to confess your many disgusting and depraved sins in the wake of the oncoming apocalypse? Voice suddenly pops back into cheery and encouraging. Well we have just the thing for you! YOU SIR!

AVERAGE JOE AVERAGE JOE spins around to face the camera, camera shy. W-W-Who meee? NARRATOR Walks into the shot to place a friendly arm around the short man, smoking a pipe. He looks like a suited well groomed farther figure from the nuclear family stereotype. Yes you my good man! Let me introduce myself, Im Rob Hugh Blindly! Tell me, what do you pray to god for? AVERAGE FRANK Opens his mouth and raises his finger to answer, but NARRATOR stop him before he can say a word.

NARRATOR Raises hand to stop him. Well dont tell me fella! Indicates behind AVERAGE JOE with his pipe. Tell the big man himself!

AVERAGE FRANK Turns and sees a grand silhouette, celebrates and rushes to greet it. What? No way, oh boy my prayers are Stops in confusion once he reaches it. Huh? Wait a minute that not the farther of all itsITS A..?

NARRATOR The next best thing! NARRATOR laughs

Why, its just as artificial and fabricated! Silhouette brightens and reveals to an inflatable god, in the style of a religious oil painting, with a try me button on his chest.

Its the inflatable god! Ready to give an answer to your prayers with 150+ recorded answers! Go ahead and press his try me button.

AVERAGE FRANK O-Oh, okay then! AVERAGE FRANK places his hands in prayer to the inflatable god. Am I forgiven of my sins oh lord? He presses the button and looks up to it in waiting.

INFLATABLE GOD Eyes light up. Talks with a flappy head and a deep, powerful voice. Ezekiel 18:20: The soul who sins? shall DIEEEEEE.

AVERAGE FRANK Screams and hes purged by the fires of hell.

NARRATOR Laughs warmly As classy as ever Mr. G O D. But some of you may be thinking, but Rob, my god is not the Christian god. so what am I to do if I want an inflatable omnipotent buddy too? The symbols of the various religions that worship a single god appear in succession above the Narrator. NARRATOR (CONTD)

Well Ill tell yah. As when you order your own inflatable god, it can be purchased with optional voice sets and accessories in accordance to your beliefs! INFLATABLE GOD reappears on screen. With every mention of a religion from the Narrator, an accessory pops onto his head. We have the Jewish! (a Kippah) The Sikh! (A Turban) And everyones favourite! The Rastafarian! (Dreadlocks and a Rhasta Hat)

Images of characters appear representing different religious groups. NARRATOR (CONTD) Whats that you guys? Your of a another religion that worships radically different deities? Not to worry kind fellows, we have you covered, with our new multicultural selection!

What promising Buddhist Monk could forget to outfit his Shaolin Monastery with the lovable bouncy castle Buddha for the kids?

For the Hindu business owner, captivate customers with our all new Wavy inflatable armed Ganesh!

(We just need something to end it on. A screen with all the products displayed along with the price and additional information included. I also had the idea of parodying one of those sped up messages with health warnings or disclaiming responsibility for any incidents the product may cause.) Call this number to buy inflatable God now and get both the son of Christ and the Holy Spirit free! (We could also have a commercial jingle if anyone thinks of any funny lyrics!)