Topic 1: In many countries big cities become very crowded.

What are the causes and solutions for this problem, in your opinion? It is indubitable that, nowadays, major cities are more attractive for people to live in than ever. However, excessively increasing population, that causes cities overcrowded, becomes an obvious problem and hinders the further development of cities. In this short essay, I will analyze the most possible likely causes of city overcrowding and give some rational solutions regarding this problem. I believe that more people swarm to cities to seek for a more convenient life style. As the governments of many countries focus on the development of big cities to create better city images these years, the public facilities, such as schools, libraries and hospitals, are intensively improved. In addition, a plethora of shops are within walking distance for people living in cities. As a result, the big cities are more attractive for modern families to live in compared with small towns or remote and rural areas. o solve this problem, we should advocate governments to fund and facilitate the development of small towns, which could possibly distract people!s attention from relocating in major cities to some well developed small towns. he other cause of overcrowded cities is the delayed development of cities compared with the rapid growth of populations. "or instance, the numbers of people who move to my home city each year are as is twice as the numbers which brand#new residential buildings can accommodate. herefore, the living environment becomes more crowed over years $this is not a valid cause of why people moved to cities# it is more a problem that is being caused by people moving to cities% A better way to say this is your talking about an effect of the problem rather than a cause of people moving to cities&. In order to resolve this problem, the governments should speed up the city expansion according to the demand of increasing population. 'nly when city development can keep pace with the augment of its population, a suitable living environment for its citizens can be maintained.$(ell your solution is not great either because if they do this that will encourage more people to move to cities and so it will make the problem of cities becoming crowded even worse)& I think you lost a bit of focus on the *uestion here & In conclusion, both the attraction and the delayed expansion of big cities lead to the overcrowding of the cities, and to alleviate the problem the government should strengthen the improvement of some surrounding small towns and expansion of accommodation in those big cities can relieve the current overcrowded status of major cities.

Task Response

Estimate d Grade +

he third paragraph was off topic you have to be very careful with the difference between causes of problems $which is what this essay was about& and the effect of problems $this essay is not about this& don't give the same point development for both sides of the argument Excellent overall structure Confusion was caused in paragraph 3 because your answer is off topic

Cohesion and Coherenc e

surrounding small towns and expansion of accommodation in those big cities

Vocabular y !rrors with word choice:

the most possible likely causes

!rrors with word endings:

more attractive for modern families to live in compared with small towns the numbers of people who move to my home city each year are as is twice as the numbers
Grammar !rrors with sentence structure

the numbers of people who move to my home city each year are as is twice as the numbers which brand#new residential buildings can accommodate.
Overall , .ou need to read the *uestion more carefully it is about causes of problems are not fixed. 'therwise you wrote a really good essay% And probably would have got to - if you got the task response right

opic /0 In many countries, the *uality of life in the large cities is worsening. (hat possibly can cause this problem1 (hat measures can be taken to resolve it1 2owadays, the large cities is are under rapid development,3 however, the *uality of people!s life, in contrast, is deteriorating in many aspects. In this short essay, I am going to analyze two possible causes of this situation, and discuss some rational solutions for it.

he 4uality of life is worsening, nowadays, in big cities because limited resources are shared by an increasing number of people in big cities. here are is a strikingly increasing population in most of the major cities3, however, related necessary public facilities are not improvinged in numbers and *ualityies accordingly. As a result, public hospitals, aged care facilities and schools become extremely crowded nowadays. 5onse*uently, people may be re*uired to have a longer waiting period even though they are desperate for simple surgery such as knee replacement surgeries in public hospitals. o solve this problem, it is essential that governments guarantee stable public services although there are increasing numbers of citizens, so that illness people can get treatments on time, and students can ac*uire ade*uate education resources. his essay is too long his paragraph way too long before even start to read it you have 67 min to write an essay is no point practising writing an essay that would take much longer must% write less) he other cause of the deteriorating *uality of life in large cities is due to highly their high pressure of life and work. It is indubitable that people are having a more stressful career life in large cities because of more fierce competition in labor markets. herefore, they are forced to perform excellent well all the time by due to peer pressure to keep their bread and butter provide for their families. In addition, living costs in big cities, especially rents, are much higher than small towns., Iin contrast, salaries are e*ual to or even lower than those in small towns due to a higher competition in labor markets in cities. As a result, some of people will re*uire longer working longer hours and sacrifice their leisure time for their own if they want to maintain an acceptable *uality of life. In order to address the pressure of people in big cities, the governments should provide them with free and regular psychological consultation as part of their citizen welfare. $(eak solution% As they can stop the causes of the pressure which e*ual to many working hours and not enough leisure time& In conclusion, both they declining service in public facilities due to increasing numbers of populations in cities and more stressful city life cause the worsening *uality of life in major cities. o resolve this problem, governments can increase public facilities in numbers and provide citizens with free psychological consultation whenever they confront with major mental stress. oo long you never would have finished this on time)

Task Response

Estimate d Grade +#,

5auses are covered really well he second solution is weak and minimal% (hat I mean is you should be saying roughly the same amount about the solutions then you are the causes. In other words both *uestions should be responded to roughly e*ually% he structure outlined below will help this I suggest following structure this essay= two question essay Introduction Causes Solutions Conclusion O !ody"#$%& cause$solution in the topic sentence 'his is a better overall structure to allow you to get a better balance between both questions( and also in some cases a solution will solve more than one of the causes and this structure allows for this situation better !rrors with word choice:

Cohesion and Coherenc e

Vocabular y

+#,

due to highly their high pressure of life and work. It is indubitable that people are having a more stressful career life in large cities because of more fierce competition in labor markets. herefore, they are forced to perform excellent well all the time by due to peer pressure to keep their bread and butter provide for their families
!rrors with word endings:

strikingly increasing population public facilities are not improvinged in numbers and *ualityies accordingly
Grammar + There are lots and lots of errors" Write less spend some time proof reading #ub$ect verb agreement

cities is are under rapid development here are is a strikingly increasing population in most of the major cities3, people may be re*uired to have a longer waiting period even though they are desperate for simple surgery such as knee replacement surgeries in public hospitals. o solve this

problem, it is essential that governments guarantee stable public services although there are increasing numbers of citizens,.
!rrors with sentence structure

so that illness people can get treatments on time, and students can ac*uire ade*uate education resources . In addition, living costs in big cities, especially rents, are much higher than small towns., Iin contrast, salaries are e*ual to or even lower than those in small towns due to a higher competition in labor markets in cities. As a result, some of people will re*uire longer working longer hours and sacrifice their leisure time for their own i

Overall

+#+.8

his essay did not come out nearly as well is your last one %there are lots more errors. 9. 2ote the ideal structure /. (rite less :. ;roofread your writing

opic :0 <ome say that students should concentrate only on the subjects that they like. 'thers suggest that they should focus on all school subjects. =iscuss both views and give your opinion. <ome people state that school students should focus on studying the subject they especially like, however, others argue that it is more beneficial for them to ac*uire even knowledge from all subjects. In this essay, I will examine both side of opinions and then provide with my own opinion at last. ;eople who insist students should only pay attention to the subjects they are interested in suggest that students shouldcertain areas they are keen on in spend more time do this, so that they have more chances to be successful. It is indubitable that interest is the best teacher3 students are willing to spend time more efficiently on the subjects they like compare with those they are not really keen on to study. >y giving students enough more time to search for knowledge they would like to it can ade*uately prepare them for their future study, . hereforetherefore, they

have more opportunities to be successful in a certain area. In contrast, if we force them to study the subjects they are reluctant to study, it will cause stress for the students and also distract their attention from what they like. 'n the other hand, some people argue that students should focus on all the subjects because they can learn various skills from different subjects. "or example, people learn abstract thinking from art classes which enable them to be more creative in their future career3 people learn academic writing skills in language classes which guarantees them the knowledge to publish their academic reports in a professional way. Although some students may have special skills, they can develop those skills in university studies. $ here is a lack of coherence here because the previous sentence didn?t seem to fit and then I don?t see how this next sentence fits with the previous one& It is very essential for school age students to develop their knowledge in a wide range of areas because those skills can assist them to realize better achievements in the future. In my opinion, ordinary students should study all the subjects provided by school and choose some selective optional subjects to develop their interests, in addition, some of the most talented ones students who feel stress to study other subjects can focus more on what they prefer. $I can?t see why talented students would feel stressed to study certain subjects&
Estimate d Grade , ,

Task Response Cohesion and Coherenc e Vocabular y

I suppose seven you have reasonable arguments for both sides and you have a reasonable opinion at the end Excellent overall structure 'he overuse of commas and semi"colon is not good) and ma*es it more difficult to read your writing !rrors with word choice:

choose some selective optional subjects to develop their interests, in addition, some of the most talented ones students
!rrors with word endings:

writing skills in language classes which guarantees them the knowledge to publish their academic reports in a professional way
Grammar + %unctuation& in many places you need to start a new sentence' the second(best choice is to put in a semi(colon" )ut I thin* you really need to be starting more sentences you overuse commas and sometimes semi(colons, so the best thing would be to write more sentences. +I *now I am using a lot of semicolons and" This is because I am trying to save time but you need to not do this when you're writing

an academic essay !rrors with sentence structure

I will examine both side of opinions and then provide with my own opinion at last. ;eople who insist students should only pay attention to the subjects they are interested in suggest that students shouldcertain areas they are keen on in spend more time do this, >y giving students enough more time to search for knowledge they would like to it can ade*uately prepare them for their future study, . hereforetherefore, they have more opportunities
Overall +.8 @rammar is too weak) (ork on avoiding having to overuse , and3 reduce errors with < endings of words

opic60 <ubjects at schools are selected by authorities such as the central government Anot by teachersB. <ome say that these subjects should be chosen by teachers. =o you agree or disagree with this statement1 @ive reasons and examples. 2owadays, government the education department has set standard criteria for subjects that should be taught at schools. However, some state that it will be more beneficial if teachers select subjects for their students. ;ersonally, I disagree with this opinion. In this short essay, I will provide with my reasons. "irstly secondly C low level se*uencing words. I suggest instead you use Dthe main reason isD Danother factor isD "irstly, allowing authorities to select same some subjects for students can guarantee students an e*ual opportunity to ac*uire knowledge. he Authorities have a striking influence on wider a wide ranges of schools, 3 therefore, they can ensure different schools teach the same subjects. 'n the other hand, if we leave teachers such choices, students in different schools or even different classes would

be taught variouslydifferent subjects. It will eventually lead to une*ual capabilities of students when they are re*uired to compete for higher education. <o it should be advocated that subjects should be chosen by central government other than teachers. <econdly, education experts working for governments have more experience and knowledge compared with most teachers hired by schools. (ith their professional knowledge, governments have the capable capability to select the most suitable subjects for students of different ages. In addition, under the direction of those specialists, more and more schools can develop selective elective classes for different interests of students, which is a big breakthrough for standard education. $.ou don?t need to have these concessions.If you want to you can. I suggest you don?t do it as they can lead to confusion if you start making errors with vocabulary and grammar& Although some very skilled teachers may have they ability to choose suitable subjects for their students, the plethora of new teachers and un*ualified teachers can mislead their students by choosing improper subjects for them. In conclusion, the government can ensure students to have an e*ual and better chance to learn by selecting suitable subjects for students in wider ranges of areas which is far from reaching for most local teachers. $.ou should also restate that you totally disagree in the conclusion% .ou suggest it3 however, you don?t say it directly&
Estimate d Grade ,

Task Response Cohesion and Coherenc e

.our opinion is clear. .ou have some good main reasons to support it and explain these well. Always try to directly state your opinion again in the conclusion Excellent overall structure everything is easy to read and follow

"irstly secondly C low level se*uencing words. I suggest instead you use Dthe main reason isD Danother factor isD
, !rrors with word choice:

Vocabular y

allowing authorities to select same some subjects for students can guarantee students an e*ual opportunity to ac*uire knowledge.. different classes would be taught variouslydifferent subjects.

In addition, under the direction of those specialists, more and more schools can develop selective elective classes
!rrors with word endings:

governments have the capable capability to select

Grammar , !rrors with sentence structure

he Authorities have a striking influence on wider a wide ranges of schools, 3 therefore, they can ensure different schools teach the same subjects
!rrors with articles ,a, an, the- you can do a *uiz here0 http0EEwww.ieltsanswers.comEIFG <#@rammar.html

he Authorities have a striking influence on wider a wide ranges of schools, 3 therefore, they can ensure different schools teach the same subjects the most suitable subjects for students of different ages.
Overall , his just makes it to ,) 9. Avoid firstly secondly $level + writing)& /. ry to decrease some of the errors with vocabulary grammar