Top 10 Essential Family Values

by Sherri Kruger. How do you define family values? In our home family values are rules or ideals ..................................., as a family, we agree to live by and stay true to. The list of essential family values would be a mile long no doubt and the top 10 lists for ea h family would be as uni!ue as the one that ame up ........................................ it. Having strong well defined family values helps solidify the foundation for a strong, tight "nit family. #hen ultivated long enough this loseness provides a soft pla e to fall when life doesn$t go a ording to plan. Strong and onsistent family values are important in building trust and onfiden e in ................................ family member. Here are my top 10 essential family values. 1. Belonging. It is important that ea h member of my family feel that they are loved, that they belong and that they matter. %eing a ohesive family ould mean that you spend every spare minute together doing family a tivities ................................. "eep in mind that everyone is different. &reating a strong family unit is great but ea h person should be allowed the spa e and freedom to e'plore the a tivities they thin" they may en(oy. )eople are more ourageous and more willing ............................... ta"e han es if they "now they have a safe pla e to ome ba " to when things don$t !uite wor" out. &oming together for spe ial o asions and holidays and (ust spending time together as a family is what helps build that sense of belonging. 2. Flexibility. I$m all for order, s hedules and stru ture in my family to help maintain some level of sanity. %ut too mu h stru ture and the unwillingness to give a little an result *************. a lot of unhappiness and resentment. The more fle'ibility you have in de ision ma"ing, for e'ample, the happier your family will be for it. Imagine one member of the family always thin"ing they are right and enfor ing their way of doing things. This ertainly wouldn$t lead to mu h happiness within the family unit. 3. Respect. This is a bit more diffi ult to define. +or my family, to respe t ea h other is to ta"e feelings, thoughts, needs, and preferen es in to

a ount when ma"ing de isions. It also means a "nowledging and valuing everyone$s thoughts, feelings and ontributions to the family ***************.. a whole. ,espe t is indeed earned and there is a very fine line between it and fear. The only way to earn and "eep someone$s respe t is to first show them respe t yourself. ,espe t as an important family value will e'tend out of the home and into s hool, wor" or other so ial settings. 4. Honesty. This is the foundation of any relationships that are meant to ***************. -other. daughter, husband.wife, sister.brother. #ithout honesty a deeper onne tion will not form and ertainly won$t last. /n ourage honesty by pra ti ing understanding and respe t when someone tells you of their wrong doings. If we lose it and get angry when we$re told what has happened the other person will be more li"ely to hide it from you ne't time simply to avoid the disrespe t. 5. Fo gi!eness. +orgiving people who have wronged you is an important hoi e to ma"e. 0es, forgiveness is a hoi e. It is not some feeling that randomly washes over you when you feel the other person has 1suffered2 enough. This an be tough ************** a lot of us tend to e!uate forgiveness with saying what you did was o"ay. They are not the same thing. Holding a grudge, is not ondu ive to a lose family with mutual respe t. Keep in mind that everyone ma"es mista"es, we all o asionally say things we wish we hadn$t and non of us are perfe t. ,efer to value 3 ommuni ation. 4et issues out in the open, gain some understanding and move on. 5ife is too short. ". #ene osity. 4iving without thin"ing 1what$s in it for me2 is an important value for anyone wanting to be a responsible, ontributing member to so iety. Through generosity we build empathy sin e we tend to thin" more about **********.. people want or need. %eing generous doesn$t mean simply handing over money to someone in need. It an also in lude giving your time, love, attention or even some of your possessions. $. %u iosity. &hildren have a natural uriosity. If you$ve ever wat hed a toddler even for a ouple of minutes you$d see that !uality shine through. +or some that uriosity wanes. I thin" it$s important to en ourage and push our "ids and even ourselves to be urious **********.. things. ,arely

Romina Gorrieri EFL Teacher Cert. TESOL

should we ever (ust ta"e someone$s word for it. How do we spar" our uriosity? 6s" !uestions. 5ots of them. ,ead about a topi you "now very little about and don$t be afraid to say you don$t "now. &riti al thin"ing is an important s"ill **********. an be learned and developed through e'ploring your own uriosity.

grow into larger ones and when they eventually boil to the surfa e it$s unli"ely they will be resolved almly. &ommuni ation is a lot more than simply spea"ing your mind. In addition to spo"en words, ommuni ation also e'tends to tone, volume, e'pression, eye onta t, body language and effe tive listening.

&. %ommunication. &ommuni ation is as mu h an art *********** it is a s ien e. 6 failure to ommuni ate will li"ely lead to I would argue that this is the most important value unhappiness and misunderstandings. Small issues for families to have. #hen people feel they an tal" openly about anything 7 hopes, dreams, fears, su esses or failures 7 all without (udgment, it$s en ouraging and strengthens the bond. '. Responsibility. #e$d all li"e to be onsidered responsible people. Some of us are and some of us are de idedly less so. ,esponsibility is something that is learned. 6s a hild you may have been shown how to put your toys ............................................ after playing, how to tidy your room or how and when to feed the dog. This sense of responsibility e'tends well into adulthood. 6n adult who has an intrinsi sense of responsibility doesn$t re!uire a lot of prodding to show up to wor" on time, return phone alls or meet deadlines. Setting out individual responsibilities for family members wor"s to instill this !uality in everyone. 10. T a(itions. This is by far the most fun for me. I thin" traditions are what ma"e a family uni!ue, they draw people together and reate a sense of belonging for everyone. Traditions don$t need to be e'pensive, elaborate or a lot of wor". It an be something as simple as a la8y Saturday morning sipping offee and hatting or an annual fondue dinner to ring in the new year. .......................................... you don$t urrently have traditions in your family, reate them9 6ll traditions started with one person why not let your family traditions start with you? 4et reative and have fun. So those are my top 10 family values. :f ourse there are others I$ll be in orporating but these are the most important to me. 1. Read the text and fill in the blanks with the correct word. . !hat do these words mean" #atch them with their definitions.
1$ $ 3) +$ Cohesi%e Resentment E*(ate Gr(d'e a$ b$ c$ d$ To re&eat thin's o%er and o%er a'ain. (nited and workin' to'ether effecti%el) to become weaker in stren'th or infl(ence to feel an'r) beca(se )o( ha%e been forced to acce&t someone or somethin' that )o( do not like e$ to consider one thin' to be the same as or e*(al to another thin' f$ a stron' feelin' of an'er and dislike for a &erson who )o( feel has treated )o( badl). which often lasts for a lon' time

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/. !hat %al(es do )o( consider )&o( ha%e been tai'ht at home" 0s there an) other %al(e )o( wo(ld loike to add" +. 1o( ha%e read the reader2s letter below in Twitter. 1o( decide to write a letter to comment on the %iews ex&ressed and 'i%in' )o(r own o&inion. !rite )o(r letter in /334/,3 words. Family values have changed to my mimd for the worse. When I was a teenager, 40 years ago, there was no time to laze around like the present generation do. I had to work in my father s shop after school, then help my mother with the washing up. !nd I used to spend two hours on Romina Gorrieri EFL Teacher Cert. TESOL

homework every night. "y own grandchildren don#t study at all. $hey take everything for granted, and e%pect their parents to run round after them like servants& What do other readers think' (enry )eid*+tree,ling KEY -. $hat /. With 0. 1ach 4. 2ut 3. $o 4. In 5. !s 6. 7ast 8. +ince -0.What --.!,out -/.$hat -0.!s -4.!way -3.If -. /. 0. 4. 3. 4. , d e f c a

Sources: http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/20 0/02/top! 0!essential!family!"alues/ http://#ictionary.cambri#$e.or$/ %b&ecti"e'(roficiency')*ambri#$e)

Romina Gorrieri EFL Teacher Cert. TESOL