CHAPTER 1:My new ambition

"i want to be a scientist"....wait,what? a scientist?a scientist! s not he that man who !o "esea"chs,t"ies to in#ent new thin$s an! b%a b%a b%a,then s&en! yo'" who%e %i(e by on%y st'!yin$! )'t i !on*t want to st'!y a%% the time,then?why? +e%%.that,s beca'se i was in c%ass - o" . in schoo% then.An! that /'otation was my answe" o ( "what !o yo' want to become Rohan?"a !is$'stin$ 's'a% /'estion ma!e by &a"ents an! "e%ati#es an! th" own towa"!s me.An! ob#io's%y i $ot "es&onse ("om them %i0e "#e"y $oo!,my boy." +ait,what?they "ea%%y tho'$ht i m $oin$ to be that man?H'h, !ont 0nowwhat they ass'me! abo't my !ecision then,b't that wa s a #e"y immat'"e! answe" $i#en by me. +e%%,whate#e", wante! to become a scientist. t was a #e"y bea'ti('% i!ea to me then. t was a !"eam that one !ay wi%% be !oin$ "esea"chs abo't somethin$ an! wi%% a%so in#ent new (acts,&"o!'cts %i0 e 1ewton,A%be"t Einstein,E!ison etc etc.These we"e #e"y easy to !"eam abo't beca'se !i! not ha#e to st '!y hi$he" &hysics then, !i! not 0now what chemist"y "ea%%y is,how m'ch to'$h a math can be. 2'st 0ne w that &hysics means somethin$ s&ecia%,scienti(ic "easons an! sto"ies o( in#entions o( $"a#ity,e%ect"icity et c. 2'st 0new that chemist"y is abo't (antasy wo"%! o( ca"bon,hy!"o$en an! a bea'ti('%% wo"%! insi!e mo%e c'%es,atoms,a (antastic wo"%! o( e%ect"ons,&"otons,ne't"ons etc.3h,what !ays those we"e, was 2'st thin0in $ that ha#e sta"te! %ea"nin$ science an! one !ay wi%% become,we%%,a "that man". ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

CHAPTER 4:3o&s,chan$e in my ambition

...1o, !on,t want to become a scientist o" somethin$ %i0e that. (o"$ot abo't my !"eam,my ambition as i $"ew '& beca'se,we%%,that was on%y a "!"eam". was in c%ass nine then.5i0e othe"s, ha! a%so sta"te! the "ace in the wo"%! o( st'!ies,com&eteti#e e6 ams,coachin$ c%asses to sco"e a b"i%%iant "es'%t in 17th stan!a"! e6am.Histo"y,8eo$"a&hy ha! a%"ea!y sta"t e! to bo"e my %i(e.)'t %o#e! my coachin$ c%asses most.The"e we"e my ("ien!s,$ossi&in$ with ("ien!s,s' $$estions (o" e6ams9which "e!'ces wo""ies abo't e6aminations:,an! most o( a%%,the"e we"e $i"%s!E#en (e w o( my ("ien!s then ha! a%"ea!y $ot en$a$e! a%so. "1ee! a $i"%("ien!?";as0e! <ima%,my c%osest ("ien! in coachin$ c%asses. "+ho !oesn,t?"; "e&%ie!," a%"ea!y ha#e c"'sh on =h"eya.)'t....." ")'t what?" ,as0e! <ima%. " can not a&&"oach he"." "e&%ie!. <ima% %a'$he!," 'n!e"stan! b"o.5oo0,1eeti is best ("ien! o( he"..."

"yeah 0now that.so?" "An!,1eeti is my $i"%("ien!,st'&i!!" Rea%%y was st'&i!!He"e,s my ("ien!s $i"%("ien! who is in!ee! best ("ien! o( my c"'sh an! was 2'st ima $inin$ how to "each =h"eya.+e%%,%et,s s0i& the "%o#e" &a"t o( my sto"y that at this sit'ation consists o( int"o !'ction with my c"'sh th"o'$h he" best ("ien!,sms,(%i"tin$,s&en!in$ time by wa%0in$ a %on$ &ath a(te" coa chin$ c%asses,new yea" a""i#a%,$"eetin$s ca"!,&"o&osa%,"i want some time to !eci!e,act'a%%y see yo' as m y ("ien!,not mo"e than that, am not "ea!y now." 9a 's'a% me%o!"ama by $i"%s: b't at %ast the acce&tance o( &"o&osa%. A(te" a%% those, was in c%ass ten then. ha! two acti#ities then in my %i(e,(i"st one ,to st'!y an! th e secon! one is to %o#e my $i"%("ien! an! s&en! time with he". !i!n,t ha! time to as0 myse%( abo't my am bition,what wante! to be ,e#en ha! no time (o" my hobby then!wait,what was my hobby then? !on,t "e membe" abo't my hobby then,may be the"e was a hobby,may be not,whate#e", on%y 0now that ha! no tho'$ht o( hobby. 3ne ni$ht,a(te" the en! o( the coachin$, was "et'"nin$ home with =h"eya.+e we"e $ossi&in$, ma0in$ %o#e,ta%0in$ abo't the ('t'"e o( o'" "e%ationshi& a%% the acti#ities %i0e othe" co'&%es !o at this sta$e .='!!en%y she as0e! me a #e"y 0nown /'estion to me,"Rohan?what !o yo' want to be in ('t'"e?" +e%%,it was not that m'ch !is$'stin$ as it was be(o"e ,beca'se it was as0e! by =h"eya an! act'a%%y 0new what wante! to be then. "e&%ie!,"to sco"e we%% in 17th stan!a"!,then 14th an! then want to become a !octo", wi%% $i#e me!ica% ent"ance test." >es! 0new what to be then an! this was my answe".)'t then she as0e! ," not abo't st'!y,what e%se?e#e"yone st'!ies an! wants to become somethin$ %i0e that,b't what e%se?what i s yo'" hobby?what !o yo' %i0e to become mo"e than bein$ a no"ma% &e"son wantin$ to ea"n (o" %i#in$?" An! then she ma!e me 'n!e"stoo! that act'a%%y !i!n,t 0now what to become e#en then.An! sta"te! to t hin0 a$ain what to become? ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

CHAPTER ?:Chan$e in my ambition:,a$ain!!!

&asse! my 17th stan!a"! an! too0 science st"eam.1ew ambition?To become a !octo".1ew hobby? 1othin$,act'a%%y,how the"e wo'%! be "new hobby" as the"e was no o%! one ea"%ie". was sti%% a &e"son o( h a#in$ an ambitio n o( bein$ a scho%a" who co'%! ea"n a %ot easi%y to %i#e a %i(e.=o,my new ambition was to become a !octo". =o, too0 bio%o$y in my co'"se. )'t thin$s we"e not $oin$ acco"!in$ to my &%an an! my choice o( st'!yin$ inte"estin$%y with an ambition o( bein$ a !octo".@ina%%y, sta"te! to %ea"n what &hysics "ea%%y is,it,s not sto"ies o( in#entions," athe" (o"m'%ae an! &"ob%ems o( statics,!ynamics,e%ect"ostatics,e%ect"oma$netism etc.Chemist"y was no %o n$e" a (antastic wo"%! o( &"otons,e%ect"ons,ne't"ons,"athe" a wo"%! o( stoichiomet"y,e%ect"ochemica% ce%%s,i no"$anic,o"$anic ,in!'st"ia% chemist"y etc.3b#io's%y sto&&e! !"eamin$ to become a scientist %on$ a$o,an ! 'n!e"stoo! what a mess it wo'%! ha#e been i( my ambition o( bein$ a "that man" "emaine! constant ti% % then.The ha"! &hysics,chemist"y,mathematics then ma!e me 'n!e"stoo! that am not $oin$ to &ay so m 'ch attention in bio%o$y an! t wo'%! be mo"e !i((ic'%t to me to c"ac0 me!ica% ent"ance tests with en$inee" in$ tests.=o,my "ambition" chan$e! a$ain! wante! to become an en$inee" a(te" (ai%'"e o( my "!"eam" o( becomin$ a !octo". Th's my "ambition" 0e&t '& its chan$in$ beha#io'" as 's'a%.

... ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Then a&&ea"e! (o" en$inee"in$ an! c"ac0e! the ent"ance test.>es! want to become an en$inee"! %o#e! my st"eam #e"y m'ch an! wante! to be an e6&e"t en$inee" in that &a"tic'%a" st"eam. en2 oye! the co%%e$e (est,the %i/'o" &a"ties,the hoste% %i(e,the $i"%s in the"e an! (o'n! the"e an in!e&en!ent " me". $"ew myse%( '& mat'"e%y !'"in$ that &e"io!,ma!e my own !ecisions.my own choices an! my own " ambitions".My ambition was then to $et a 2ob in the (ie%! o( en$inee"in$ an! ea"n as m'ch money as can to %i#e my %i(e ha&&i%y. en!e! '& my en$inee"in$ ca"ee" as a bache%o" o( en$inee"in$ an! $ot a $oo! 2ob that a%%owe! me to ea"n a hea%thy sa%a"y to "'n my &oc0et money,he%& my (ami%y.This a%% ha&&ene! in mmy %ast yea" o( en$inee"in$.)'t then tho'$ht !i!n,t want to ho%! 2'st a bache%o" !e$"ee. can ea"n mo"e money an! "es &ect both by achie#in$ a maste",s !e$"ee.=o $a#e the necessa"y ent"ance test to be a!mitte! in maste",s ! e$"ee in my %ast yea" o( bache%o" !e$"ee. $ot a $oo! "an0 an! my "ambition" a$ain shi(te! itse%( ("om $et tin$ a $oo! 2ob at the en! o( my bache%o" co'"se to achie#in$ a bette" 2ob with a maste",s !e$"ee. =o com&%ete! my Maste",s !e$"ee too an! $ot a new 2ob with bette" sa%a"y.Ambition achie#e!! )'t,w ait,ha! achie#e! what wante! to be?A maste",s !e$"ee en$inee" with a $oo!,"athe",bette" sa%"y 2ob,that, s it?Ha! my ambition in my %i(e en!e! '& 2'st %i0e that? s the"e no ambition in my %i(e now?what wi%% !o in my %i(e in ('t'"e?A'st ea"n an! (ee!?A%% these /'estions we"e /'e'e! '& in my b"ain then. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Cha&te" B:+ho am ?
1ow a %on$ !ays ha#e &asse!. s&ent ha%( o( my yo'th a$e by !eci!in$ i( this is m y (ina% ambition o" this is not,i( can achie#e what ha#e tho'$ht o" not,i( this is my "ambition" o" 2'st %i0 e a "!"eam" ? ne#e" (o'n! a consistent answe" o( any o( these /'estions. !"eame! o( becomin$ a scho%a" to ea"n easi%y an! ea"ne!,nothin$ e%se. am C4 now.My %i(e has come to an en!. ha! my son,$"an! chi%!"en.+hat ha! s&e nt my who%e %i(e a(te" $ettin$ 2ob is 2'st ea"n an! (ee! my own (ami%y,!oin$ !'ties,0ee&in$ &"omises,"es& onsibi%ities. am too o%! now. ha! nothin$ to !o now in my %i(e,("ee ("om "es&onsibi%ities,("ee ("om !'ties ,("ee ("om 0ee&in$ &"omises,("ee ("om ta0in$ ca"e o( othe"s. )'t can,t ma0e me ("ee ("om those /'estions sti%% now.=ti%% now,at the en! o( my on%y %i(e, 2'st t hin0, " +hat ha! !one in my %i(e mo"e than !oin$ !'ties,0ee&in$ "es&onsibi%ities? ha! 2'st ea"ne! to %i#e,b' t !i!n,t !o anythin$ to %i#e the %i(e ('%%est.1ow ha! a %ot o( "ambitions" to achie#e,%ots o( "!"eams" to b e ('%(i%%e! ,b't neithe" they can be achie#e! no" they can be ('%(i%%e! now. wish i( co'%! ha#e been a w"i te",i( co'%! ha#e been a sin$e",o" an acto". wish co'%! ha#e e6&%o"e! the wo"%! by t"a#e%%in$ myse%(,o" a b'isnessman to ha#e my own wo"%! "enowne! b'siness. wish co'%! ha#e at%east a hobby ,a hobby o( w"itin$,"ea!in$ sto"y boo0s,sin$in$,actin$ o" any othe" thin$s.)'t ha! %ost a%% the o&&o"t'nities to ('%(i%% a%% these &ossibi%ities,as was 2'st chan$in$ my ambitions than (in!in$ one. ha#e an answe" o( "what am ?".A s'cces('% "eti"e! o%! en$inee".)'t !on,t ha#e the answe" o( "who am ?" . wish co'%! $et bac0 th at yo'n$ a$e, co'%! ha#e ma!e a "ea%"ambition" 2'st one time,co'%! ha#e as0e! myse%( "Rohan?what yo' want to be?" wish co'%! ha#e "eache! e#e"est once in my %i(e,o" co'%! ha#e a""i#e! a s&ace sh'tt%e .3" &e"ha&s, co'%! ha#e been "that man"."

THE E1D