Virtual Children 3

Earl Morgan Jr. Child & Adolescent Development Ivy Tech Community College

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On Page (425) it says When children understand labels, stability and consistency they have mastered gender constancy. Khaliyah 's memory is getting considerably better. She can beat you on certain memory games such as Concentration because she remembers where the cards are located. But when she tells people about things that happened to her, she leaves a lot of details out and sometimes gets the order wrong. So I join in the retelling of the experience, prompting Khaliyah with questions, rather than just butting in and telling it yourself. Khaliyah gets along very well with other children on an individual basis and is not shy at all, but is not a peer leader or one of the more popular kids in her grade. I invite children Khaliyah likes over in groups for outings or parties and try to make sure they have a good time. Khaliyah impresses everyone who hears her with her singing ability and ability to play songs by ear on the portable keyboard. It is unfortunate but her school doesn't provide instrumental music lessons until 3rd grade. We decide to start Khaliyah on piano lessons with a neighbor who is a music teacher and charges a reasonable price. We liked this teacher because she is teaching Khaliyah to read music, to use the correct fingering on the piano as well as to sing some of the songs by sight reading of the notes. Piano and voice lessons all rolled into one and this was the best decision of all as Khaliyah seems to love it. On page (415) it says Girls have a larger vocabulary than boys and are more likely they are more talkative. Khaliyah learned the letters and their sounds very quickly in kindergarten, and started to read some easy rhyming books in the latter half of the year. In first grade, she really seems to be taking off, and is reading first and even second grade books. Since Khaliyah already has good phonological awareness and has learned to decode, you figure the best thing would be to find fun and challenging new books for her to read with your help. We went to a teacher conference and the teacher went over Khaliyah 's first grade report card. The report card uses developmental categories rather than traditional grades. Some of the

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results were expected, but some of them surprised us, and we decided Khaliyah's behavior must differ somewhat at home and school. Some highlights of the first grade report card were the following ratings: Usually works cooperatively in groups, usually respects rights and property of others, and usually demonstrates appropriate peer social interaction. "Demonstrates strength" in reading and writing. In the comments section the teacher wrote: Khaliyah occasionally gets upset in stressful situations but usually calms down fairly quickly. "She demonstrates strength" in the areas of speaking and listening and in content knowledge of social studies and science. "Developmentally appropriate" in the areas of mathematical problem solving, understanding of data and number concepts. "Demonstrates strength" in the areas of spatial understanding and visual arts. Khaliyah was usually appropriately active during recess and physical games, and appropriately quiet during periods of work in the classroom setting. She did not show an unusual amount of impulsive or distractible behavior. Consistently works independently, consistently listens attentively and follows directions, and consistently follows classroom rules. Her cognitive and language skills are above average I would have to say. She can hold conversations with adults very well and uses big words that you wouldnt expect her to know what they mean. The only special need I think she needs is that she needs higher reading level books. She loves to read and learn about new things. On page (409) it says, by the age of 4 a childs knowledge of gender stereotype activities is extensive. Khaliyah has really gotten into dance and gymnastics and is going up to practice three times a week with to dance classes. We encourage participation, as you notice Khaliyah will dance around in the house just for fun. The whole family enjoys attending her dance shows. Khaliyah has been taking piano lessons for two years and reads and plays well by ear. She also sings in a choir. Now she wants to take part in the instrumental music program at the school.

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Khaliyah and I try out the available instruments at the music store and decided on the violin. Khaliyah enjoys drawing and designing things of interest houses, cars, and airplanes and loves to work with her hands building models or things out of clay, paper mache and interconnecting blocks. Khaliyah is doing reasonably well in 3rd grade math, but doesn't seem to like math all that much. She seems to like the hands on science experiments most of all. We do some simple hands on science experiments that just happen to illustrate the usefulness of key math concepts such as fractions or units of measurement. Khaliyah is generally pretty good about doing her homework and chores, but sometimes forgets or leaves them unfinished. We have made a chart with the list of chores for everyone in the house. Everyone has to check things off when they are done. We give Khaliyah an allowance to ranging from $0.00 to $9.00 based on the work completed. Since second grade, Khaliyah has been able to sound out almost any word and now only occasionally gets stuck when reading aloud. She enjoys reading and looks forward to taking turns reading the story for the night with you. We introduce Khaliyah to some different kinds of reading materials, such as children's literary magazines, nature magazines, newspaper stories that might be of interest, and poetry books. We were interested in having a relatively complete psychological test report done on Khaliyah some time in middle childhood and this seems like a good time. We took advantage of the local university's service of providing inexpensive psychological testing and counseling by psychology interns who are supervised by an experienced clinical psychologist. We will have the report done toward the end of summer, just before Khaliyah turns 9 years of age. We received her scores were in the average to above average range in word reading, reading fluency, phonological awareness and spelling. She was

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friendly to the examiner and remained calm and cheerful during the IQ and achievement tests even when some of the questions became difficult and frustrating. These were some of Khaliyah 's scores on the verbal portion of the Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children (where 7 is one standard deviation below the mean 10 is the mean and 13 is one standard deviation above the mean): Information (13), Vocabulary (14), Similarities (13), Comprehension (15). Khaliyah 's scores on the math concepts, math application problems, and math computation tests were in the average range. Khaliyah's scores on tests of visual spatial ability (spatial rotation, copying of designs, etc.) were well above average and the examiner recommended that you seek out drawing, design and building experiences for Khaliyah depending on interest level. The psychologist gave you and the teacher a questionnaire on behavioral and attentional problems, and reported that Khaliyah did not have unusual problems with impulsivity, inattentiveness or hyperactivity. She was very focused and maintained concentration throughout the IQ and achievement testing. The psychologist interviews you using a standard set of questions about parenting attitudes. According to your scores, you are above average in warmth and affection toward your child. Your scores on the parenting questionnaire indicate you are in the top 15% in discipline and control toward your child. On page (379) it says In Piaget views, 5 to 7 year olds believe that rules are absolute, by the age of 8 children understand that rules are created by people to help them get along. Khaliyah really knows the routines now in restaurants and only occasionally gets rambunctious. Now you need to work on Erica! Fortunately, she now has a well behaved older sibling to imitate, so perhaps your task will be easier this time around. We realize Khaliyah tends to imitate things you and your partner obviously enjoy doing, as well as female role models in T.V. shows or movies. On page (424) it says TV often portrays males and females in stereotyped ways and

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children who watch TV frequently learn these stereotypes. So we believe that traditional gender roles are too extreme, and your goal is for Khaliyah to develop an androgynous gender role basically the positive features of both the female and male gender role in America. Khaliyah is physically active, enjoys exercise and seems to have some athletic talent. Based on Khaliyah 's interest, you enroll her in dance and gymnastics. Khaliyah is one of the most popular kids in her class, so I would have to say that shes doing really well in the social aspect of things. Inside the home, shes very sociable and loves to read and interact with both of us including her little sister. She has a little bit of emotional problems when it comes to getting frustrated. She gets mad for a little bit and then gets over it pretty quickly. She did have some troubles cheating in board games that we would play, but I didnt tolerate that for very long. I think she has these problems because she sometimes feels neglected because we have to pay a little bit more attention to her little sister, so I think she wants our attention, plus she tends to mimic me; I can react like that sometimes. We make sure that I take care of what shes doing and make sure she knows that its not ok to do that. Khaliyah has some girlfriends that come over from time to time. We notice that most of her friends tend to be somewhat tomboyish and two of the girls have older brothers. Khaliyah enjoys playing sports with the brothers, and sometimes Khaliyah will also play sports with some of the boys on the block. You think Khaliyah's behavior is fairly typical, so you don't try to alter it, and you continue to expose Khaliyah to alternatives to rigid masculine and feminine stereotypes. Khaliyah seems to get along well in many different situations with children her age, and also has a good relationship with her teacher and several other adult relatives, friends and neighbors. We allowed Khaliyah to join clubs, visit at a friend's house, or any other reasonable request that involves social activities. Right now, Khaliyah is very into playing sports at school with the other boys and when she comes home she likes to build things. At this age, I

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dont think this is a bad thing; actually for me personally, I didnt want Khaliyah to be a girly girl because I think its good for girls and boys to experience some things that the opposite sex does. American attitudes toward this can be kind of 50/50 because some people are worried that if the girl is too masculine then they are going to turn out to be a lesbian or if boys are too feminine then they are going to be gay. I think there are certain limits that you have to draw a line at, like for boys they probably shouldnt be dressing up in girls clothing, its not meant for them and I think its only confusing them, for girls its the same thing, they shouldnt wear boys clothing for the same reason. I think this way of thinking all depends on the parents and where you ultimately grew up around. Khaliyah's fifth grade class is just about to leave on the fifth grade science camp trip a week spent in cabins in the mountains. The fifth grade teachers have been preparing the kids for weeks, alternating with each other in the teaching of science units on ecology, astronomy, geology, botany and zoology. The kids are also learning all of the rules of camp they will have to keep their cabin clean, wash dishes and turn the lights out at 9. This is Khaliyah's first extended stay away from home. Khaliyah has been very involved in gathering all of the clothes, supplies, etc. she will need for the trip and is enthusiastic about most of the science topics. We figure it will be great hands on science experience and a good life experience as well. Lately, Khaliyah has become pretty conscientious about doing homework, except for occasional lapses. The teacher reports that Khaliyah is a cooperative and enthusiastic student. Khaliyah is kind of a tomboy and says she wants to ride her bike to the school grounds after school. She also wants to go on weekends and hang out there with one or two friends. She likes to play whiffle ball or basketball with the neighborhood boys and one or two other girl friends. We don't think it's safe

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for 10 year-old girls to wander the neighborhood so we make sure to drive Khaliyah and her friends where they want to go and pick them up too. Khaliyah is in grade level math and sometimes gets stuck on problems. Khaliyah seems to dread the story problems the most and gives up pretty quickly if she can't figure out the correct procedure. We try to empower Khaliyah to do math on her own. When she gets stuck, you guide her to the sample problems, help clear up any misunderstandings and try as much as possible to get her to come up with the correct procedures on her own. Khaliyah is really advancing in dance. Khaliyah's dance studio director recommends joining the dance competition team as a way of advancing faster. This mean traveling to dance conventions in neighboring cities so Khaliyah wouldn't have enough time for serious competitive play in other sports. We realize dance is quite competitive at the high school level these days. We take the director's advice and join the dance competition team, but we encourage Khaliyah to play other sports informally, such as tennis, basketball and gymnastics. Toward the end of 5th grade, the school began to transition the kids to middle school. This included registering for 6th grade classes, a trip to the middle school to meet the 6th grade core teachers English and Social Studies combined classes, and a tour of the school. Khaliyah is very excited about the transition, but nervous about being a scrub. For her 11th birthday, Khaliyah wants a handheld multi entertainment system that coordinates with the home stereo and TV. Watching one of these things in operation, you marvel at how technology has advanced since you were a kid. Khaliyah is talking a lot during the early part of the summer about going to 6th grade. There are several urban legends about what happens to 6th graders. Khaliyah is afraid she'll be forced to drink toilet water or smoke cigarettes in the bathroom. We laugh because there were very similar legends when you were in middle school! I reassure Khaliyah that none of these things will happen. Over the summer,

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Khaliyah wants to earn more money than the usual weekly allowance because she wants to save for a cool new bike. You come up with a list of major chores that she can work on during the summer such as pruning the bushes, washing the car, painting the fence etc. and agree to pay her the prevailing minimum wage. We think this will be a good experience if she will stick with it. Some highlights of the 5th grade report card the one that is being sent on to middle school with Khaliyah's portfolio of writing samples and standardized test scores were as follows: Usually works cooperatively in groups, usually respects rights and property of others and usually demonstrates appropriate peer social interaction. "Demonstrates strength" in all areas of reading, and in spelling and "appropriate for grade level" in writing. In the comments section the teacher wrote: Occasionally Khaliyah gets upset during stressful situations inside or outside the classroom but usually is able to bounce back quickly. "Demonstrates strength" in the areas of speaking and listening and in content knowledge of social studies and science. "Appropriate for grade level" in the areas of mathematical problem solving, understanding of data, number concepts, graphical applications, and arithmetic computation. "Demonstrates strength" in the area of art. "Demonstrates strength" in the area of music. Consistently works independently, listens attentively and follows directions and classroom rules. To be honest, I think I have stayed very consistent with how I parent. I try and stay that way to make sure she knows that shes in a stable and sturdy environment. The only thing that I can think that I changed is that Im a little tougher on her now than I was when she was in preschool. I believe that if you stay consistent then your kids wont test you as much because they already know what you are going to do if they do a certain thing. The only thing that I notice that has stayed consistent since she was younger was she always happy, always loves music and to dance. So far it seems like she has changed all of her other things, she use to be really clingy now shes independent and on her own. She uses to

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be behind in talking and reading she has way over passed that and has become above average in those areas. Im really surprised on how much she has come since just 3 years or 4 years old. Even though it is still the middle of summer, you shop for school supplies and some cool school clothes. Khaliyah seems to be obsessed with looking cool when 7th grade starts in the fall.

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Cite Page www.myvirtualchild.com Children and Their Development, 6e. Kail, Robert V. Pearson Education, Inc., 2012.