Bill Clinton Expresses Admiration

for Italy’s Political System and its

Administrative Bodies
From banana news (www.bananaws.com)

October 21, 2009

Former President Denies Enjoying the Shape of

Berlusconi’s Cabinet

Speaking to a group of Wine, Cheese, and Pasta Shape

distributors, in a restaurant in Little Italy’s section of
Manhattan last Thursday, former President Bill Clinton
praised the Italian political system, its method for
appointing physically correct Government ministers, and
its ability to find vigorously in-formed and obviously out-
lined officials to serve in the Italian cabinet. He then
praised Italian voters for displaying a flippant grace and a
dismissive common sense when assaulted by the sexual
pressures of a Government under cloud of uncommon
female scents. Mr. Clinton also applauded the Italian
media’s skill in aligning Prime Minister Berlusconi’s
personal “enthusiasms” with Italy’s public, private, and
privately public entertainment needs. The former U.S.
President then suggested that Americans look to Rome,
both modern and ancient, as role model for building a
start-of-the-art bridge and stone aqueduct to the young
generation, of the twenty first century, and their internet
breeding and exchange sites.

“Rome gave America the sturdy but graceful columns that

hold up the grand entrances of hundreds of impressive
public buildings which make up our nation’s majestic
architecture. And we should look to Rome for ways to
make up America’s media and newspaper columns, so
they never again, become obsessed with a President’s
private particulars and his wife’s public part in ticking off
peculiar private liars. It is clear to me that one reason
Italy has escaped the bulk of last year’s financial crisis is
that the Italian people have given their Prime Minister,
Silvio Berlusconi, the freedom to appoint the best people
to each Government job and allowed him to keep open his
channel of communication with the fresh new ideas and
old flesh ideals of the new up and coming generation.”

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who was pressed for her

view of the Italian political system, Prime Minister
Berlusconi, and his penchant for making physically correct
political appointments to his cabinet, said that Italy, in
fact, had suffered from the financial crisis, and “could do
better” in addressing the crisis if it’s Government and
media would “behave more focused.”

Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, whose

remarkable ability to connect “politically” with select
members of the young generation and who, in the past,
has expressed admiration for former President’s Bill
Clinton multi-tasking abilities, praised the former U.S.
President for laying both the groundwork and playground
for politics in the twenty first century. And he claimed
that the structural shapes of his cabinet has been a key
factor in allowing him to focus like “a pulsating laser
beam” on Italy’s finance, budget, and physical challenges.
And he offered Ms. Clinton the job of Italian Minister of
Domestic affairs should she become tired of being the U.S.
Secretary of State and getting herself stuck
“sequestered” in a U.S. Government bureaucracy whose
daily routines are “more boring than the house-rules in a
Catholic convent” and whose employees act as if they
have taken personal vows of “media silence, political
chastity, resume masturbation, and reputation control.”

The next day former President Bill Clinton thanked Prime

Minister Berlusconi, from the same restaurant, located in
the Chinatown section of Manhattan, and said he could
guarantee that Miss Clinton had what it takes to complete
with Italy’s vigorously in-formed and obviously out-lined
public officials, but said America’s Secretary of State had
always enjoyed taking on the challenge of personal
resume building, as well as dealing with the world’s
constant struggle to control its shady reputation. Mr.
Clinton then offered his own services to the Italian
government claiming that, he believed, that he was
uniquely suited to dealing with Italy’s financial challenges
and could fit in well with Italy’s Government of vigorously
in-formed and obviously out-lined public officials.

A somewhat chagrined Ms. Berlusconi, said from her home

in Sardinia Italy, that she was aware that her husband’s
weakness for young women stemmed from his constant
need to be with her, but that critical national shopping
needs, over the years, had increasingly intervened and
taken her away from “hospitality” time with her husband.
And she offered Ms. Clinton the job of Italian Minister of
International affairs should she become tired of being
U.S. Secretary of State and being stuck in a Government
that “breaks all the rules and forces Ms. Clinton to travel
to hotbeds of exhausting action, media excitement, and
Indiana Zones of reputation control and danger.”

President Clinton invited Ms. Berlusconi to visit the

Clinton Office in Harlem, now on edge of Manhattan’s
Chinatown, to present a paper on Italian shopping
patterns and Italy’s high tech perfume industry.
One Galina, Befolli, Fornobuzitti of Porte Empodocle Sicily
appeared on the Italian variety show “To-dos y To-dos”
and blamed President Clinton for living in a country with a
“multiplicity” of double standards and claimed it was
refreshing to live in a country where one could publically
display a portion of the national endowments on a popular
TV show, while presenting the country with next year’s
fiscal budget. She also congratulated her boss, Prime
Minister Berlusconi, for choosing to be born in a country
that allows the leader to set a single top-- but sometimes
bottom-- down standard for engaging Italian citizens who
happen to possess “exaggerated human exaggerations”.

President Clinton invited Finance Minister, Galina, Befolli,

Fornobuzitti to visit the Clinton Harlem center, now in the
middle of Chinatown, to present a paper on Italian
budgeting procedures and offered her long term
employment dealing with the increasingly dire financial
problems of the U.S. Government, which, by his analysis
only could only be fixed by vigorous application of Italy’s
budgeting practices. Mr. Clinton also promised Ms.
Fornobuzitti that if she helped prepare future U.S.
budgets there could be an interest in putting her form to
rock, on the second Mount Rushmore, currently being
planned for Big Rock, Arkansas, which, according to the
former President, would eventually include giant carved
figures of himself, (Bill Clinton), Hillarily and Chelsea
Clinton, both which, would tower over a stone replica of Al
Gore’s wet carbon sock-print.

Al Gore called the New York Times, office, currently in the

middle of Chinatown and said his carbon footprint would
be too faint to attract tourists. And he chastised former
President Clinton for leaving tar bunny carbon handprints
on environmentally sensitive regions of the “other”
employed gender.

Italian Prime Ministers, Silvio Berlusconi, came on Italian

TV show “Mio-Dueno” and expressed concern for former
President Clinton’s heart condition and asked the Italian
people to pray for a miracle which allowed the American
Government’s budget condition to self correct, like a free
market shortage of apple pies and hot dogs.

Bill Clinton came on Larry King live, and said that he

wished, U.S. deficits were self correcting but said that his
predecessor had worked so hard to take away the Clinton
surplus, that the only hope for the U.S. Economy was to
allow Italian budget experts to set up offices in the Clinton
Harlem center and work with Federal Reserve officials in
their Chinatown offices in New York.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton announced, from

Washington D.C., that she was cutting State Department
expenditures in half and challenged all other U.S.
Government Departments to follow suit.

Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi, praised Ms,

Clinton’s efforts to control the U.S. budget and ordered
Italy’s best sculptors to create marble profiles of “loyal”
members of his cabinet provided they can pose long
enough to prevent any travel to, Harlem, New York, or
Chinatown.

Ms. Berlusconi came on radio in Sardinia to announce that

a 21rst century ‘internet breeding and exchange site”
appeared to have gotten her pregnant “from just hitting
the F2 key” and recommended that Italian women and
cabinet ministers try out “the alternative” .
The following week a Chinese hand reading fortune teller,
Lee Chung Hsiao, was heard telling members of his table
tennis club located in one of seven boroughs of Chinatown
New York, that he and his hand reading associates had
discovered, through an internet fortune telling service,
former President’s Bill Clinton’s finger prints, on the F2
key of hundreds of computers scattered across the States
of New York and New Jersey.

Banana News (www.bananaws.com)