Iran Discovered To Be Hiding A

Duplicate Secret Iran.

From Banana News (www.bananaws.com)
Russia Claims to be More Shocked Than “Burton School” America

Yesterday at 1:30 PM an eighth grade student in Burton

Middle School in Burton, Michigan shocked the world and
his school teacher by announcing that he had discovered a
second “duplicate” Iran hidden among the former states
of the Soviet Union. Dubbed Iran-i-stan by the Burton city
and World press the duplicate Farsi speaking, Shiite
Muslim country of seventy two million people was
discovered tucked discretely away, hiding, among the
former Soviet countries of Kirgizstan, Tajikistan,
Uzbekistan, and veiled in a cloak of deception, world
geographic ignorance, and Stan fatigue.
According to unnamed school janitor sources, the Burton
Michigan eighth grade teacher, Miss Baker White, had
encouraged students to use the Google maps program, in
their assignment to locate France and use the principals
of geometry to prove that any two parallel lines running
through Paris and Washington D.C. would not intersect on
a flat surface map or at a G-20 conference. The student,
Ira Stanley Jones, was typing his name into the Google
map website when Iran’s secret twin nation popped up on
the computer screen and, within two deep breathes of
time, called Miss White’s eighth grade classroom to
prayer.
Miss White, as first, thought Ira had located a region of
France with a large population of Moroccan immigrants
and congratulated Ira for finding France and achieving
what few American students have been able to
accomplish. However as Miss White slowly zoomed the
computer screen outward, to her amazement, rather than
viewing such as familiar city names as Lyons, Paris,
Marseilles, and watching the familiar ragged and squat
one winged France-shape come into view, cities with
names such as “New Tehran”, “Isfahan II”, “Noveau
Shiraz”, popped up onto the computer screen surrounded
by a series of exotic and odd looking Ran, Stan, and Azak
shapes.
Homeland Security consultant Howard Sweep expressed
his amazement of the discovery of a second country of
Iran, to the Washington Times newspaper comment page:
“Those crafty, wily, slippery, buttery uppery, devious
Iranians have done it again. They created a duplicate
secret country, Stanned it, and filled it with over seventy
million Farsi and Azeri speaking Shiites, all while diverting
our attention with: electoral fraud in a fraudulent cover-
country, America demon demonstrations, and in punch in
the face nuclear bomb bravido. I would not be surprised if
Iran-i-stan makes counterfeit oil and side door Mafia-
Mullah deals with Russia.
The Russian Minister of “abroad Stan affairs”, Yaroslav
Dimtri Vladiput Gaporchevnick, denied any involvement in
the creation and concealment of Iranistan and claimed
that Vladimir Putin, or Russia, was just as shocked and
surprised as anyone else by the discovery of a “second”
hidden Iran located within “the agreed Russian sphere of
influence, scheming, and intimidation.”
American State Department officials corroborated the
Russian claim by reporting that former President Bush had
failed to detect evidence of Iran-i-stan’s existence, or
influence, in Vladimir Putin’s inner soul.
A defiant Iran denied that it had created, much less
hidden from Western, Eastern, and Putin view, a
concealed duplicate nation. The supreme, Ayatullah
Weartobigi Pajameni of Isfahan pointedly accused the
West of creating “France” to divert America’s school
children from learning about and appreciating “even the
first Iran”. And he accused Disney’s Epcot Center of only
promoting “Mickey-tourist” nations who’s most serious
disagreements with America involved Jerry Lewis movie
reviews and restrictions on trans-Atlantic trade of
bananas and cheese.
In response to the Iran-i-stan news, the assistant chief of
the CIA’s Wind, Rain, and Fog Division, Ralph Lieterf,
called the Burton Michigan mayor, Charles Smiley, from an
undisclosed office Blimp and asked the Mayor office for
help in locating the Google maps website. He also asked
to Mayor’s office to assist a team of CIA specialists in
formulating the exact spelling of one: “Ira Stanely Jones”.
The head of the Michigan Republican Party, Ronald
Weiser, called Miss Baker White’s eighth grade class to
offer congratulations for sacrificing French geography
hour and croissants, in order to save America from
weapons of missing destruction. He then called the entire
eighth grade class to eleven minutes of Christian prayer.
The Burton City Newspaper reported that the assistant
chief of the CIA’s Wind, Rain, and Fog Division, Ralph
Lieterf, had admitted, to the Burton City mayor, Charles
Smiley, that the CIA had located Iran-i-stan fourteen years
earlier, but had miscalculated, and determined the hidden
Iran duplicate to be the location of the reputed Russian
amusement park and sanatorium Sovi-disneski Epcotiski-
Stan.
One Shahina Hana Dembelie, called Miss Bakers Whites
class from Noveau Shiraz, Iran-i-stan to offer
congratulations for offering America’s attention ship to
her country and asked Miss White’s class, over a speaker
phone, if the State of North Dakota really contained a
hidden double of South Dakota’s Mount Rushmore which
included, in its rock lineup, a clandestine Dick Cheney
head which had been secretly chiseled into the rock ego of
America’s geology.
The Russian Minister of “extra Stan affairs”, Yaroslav
Dimtri Vladiput Gaporchevnick, e-mailed the Burton City
Newspaper and denied any involvement in the creation
and concealment of an alleged Epcotiski-Stan and claimed
the legendary Soviet amusement park and apparatchik
Soviet recreation center was a CIA fabrication to divert
attention away from America’s banana and cheese
disputes with France.
One Alawar Shapini Howauri e-mailed the Burton Michigan
Mayors office and complained that air fares from Tehran
to New Tehran had “missile-rocketed” since the start of
the Western hysteria over of his two home countries. He
concluded his e-mail saying that “every twice a day”, he
prayed for Miss Whites class to pray for Iran-i-stan to
disappear from their computer screens so they could have
France back and enjoy their banana-cheese croissants.
Miss Baker’s Whites class wrote letters to Burton City
Mayor Charles Smiley, Ralf Lieterf of the CIA, and
President Obama asking for permission to adopt Shahina
Hana Dembelie’s girls school in Noveau Shiraz, Iran-i-stan,
as a sister school to the Burton Middle school. And the
eighth grade students asked the CIA to install a Christian-
Islam prayer convertor onto Miss Baker White’s class
computer.
Yaroslav Dimtri Vladiput Gaporchevnick, wrote to the
Washington Times newspaper’s comment page and
complained about the coarseness of security consultant’s
Howard Sweep’s language in public print:
“If it was still time of cold war then we know that:
--crafty Iranian still means: crafty Russian,
--wily Iranian still means: wily Russian
--slippery Iranian still means: back slide Russian
Buttery, uppery Iranian still means: stinking yogurt
Russian
and:
--devious Iranian still means: when they hide in Siberia
you and Napoleon can’t find them Russians.
American and Russian diplomats were seen, by their
security guards, scurrying back forth in Washington and
Moscow trying to work out a deal for bringing Iran-i-stan
into the world community of fought over and pampered
nations. State Department officials in Washington were
said to be discussing ways to engage the newly
discovered nation and pull it away from the parent nation
of Iran without stretching America’s table tennis
resources to its diplomatic and backspin limit.
The United States agreed to send four hundred Peace
Corps volunteers to Iran-i-stan to teach agricultural
pistachio marketing to farmers, English to English
teachers, and skateboarding to the public at large. Russia
agree to send four hundred military conscripts to Iran-i-
stan to teach agriculture pistachio marketing to farmers,
Russian to English teachers, and cynicism to
skateboarders who travel on dirt roads. France agreed to
ship Iran-i-stan eight thousand tons of surplus African
bananas and French cheese. Great Britain agree to send a
million pounds of counterfeit sterling in exchange for
millions gallons of counterfeit oil which the British
Government planned to use to meet international carbon
emission requirements.
Meanwhile the city of Burton agreed to send an unnamed
school janitor to teach Iran-i-stanians how to locate
Burton Michigan using Google maps and to install
Christian-Islam prayer converters onto a thousand Iran-i-
stan computers and two hundred bearded mullahs.
While diplomats from around the world attended to their
important “scurry about” routines, Miss Baker White class
slowly settled back to a routine of lecturing, learning,
prayer avoidance, and homework. Ira Stanley Jones
presented an oral report on the curved geometric world of
the French Mathematician Henry Poincare while Mayor
Charles Smiley, shared croissants, smiles, and parallel
lines of nonintersecting thoughts with Miss Baker White
class.
And, according to the Washington Times letter page,
Homeland Security consultant Howard Sweep had
buttered up enough State Department Officials to land a
job teaching Peace Corps volunteers, from the skateboard
program, the slippery craft of riding a deviating surfboard
down a river swollen with rushing waters from a melted
Hindu Kush snowpack. He was said to deny that had ever
heard of, much less used, the phrase ”wily Iranian” and
blamed back sliding Russian Soviets “hiding in the
Siberian forest” for faxing a stinking yogurt counterfeit
Howard Sweep letter to the Washington Times newspaper.
Odac Snarler
Banana News (www.bananaws.com)