Love Systems Insider

Date: October 2008

Learn how best to utilize a wingman

Most men know that it's easier to meet women when you are out with friends than
when you're alone. Friends who know that you are trying to meet women and who
may be doing the same thing themselves are often called "wingmen" or "wings" in
popular culture. Here, we'll keep it simple - men who are working with you to meet
women are Friends (capitalized).

The most important thing is to work WITH your Friend, not against him. Your
Friend is NOT your competition. If women see you and your Friend tripping each
other up or fighting for the same woman, they will assume a few things about you:

• You don't have many friends, since you spend time with someone you don't
seem to like and respect (and who doesn't seem to like and respect you).

• You don't have much going for you, since you spend time with people who
don't have much value (if you're putting down your Friend).

• You don't have much success with women. If you did, then you wouldn't need
to fight someone from your own social circle for a woman you just met.

The common theme in this stuff is that your Friend reflects on you.

Women use little clues or "tells" to make assumptions about men. Women don't
have time to get to know all of the potential mates they run into. So they make
assumptions based on the little things that they DO have time to notice about
everyone. These assumptions are very powerful even though they are mostly
subconscious - often women don't even realize WHY they are attracted to a specific
man.
Let's detour through a quick example. Women want successful men. Men realize
this, and this is why some of them exaggerate their wealth and status. Most women
are hit on so often that they don't listen to every man's story to evaluate whether it
seems true. They use shortcuts.

For example, women key in on open body language. Why is this? Men who are
successful tend to be self-confident (yes, there are lots of exceptions). Self-
confident men tend to have confident, open body language, like holding their heads
high or keeping their shoulders back. Body language is always on display and
women notice it instantly. So a man with confident body language will attract more
women, even though there is nothing inherently attractive about holding your head
high or keeping your shoulders back. It's just that women have learned over time
that men who do this (or any one of thousands of other indicators of confidence)
are more likely to have the deeper characteristics that they are looking for.

What also helps women here is that fewer men know how and why to act with
confident body language than know how to exaggerate their incomes. That's why
we spend so much time at the bootcamps teaching each student how to express
confidence with body language. We teach you to "fake it ‘til you make it" because
once you've gotten a bit of success with "faking" confident body language you will
develop natural confidence in your abilities with women and you will come across
as confident without thinking about it. When you change your behavior, your
thoughts and feelings will eventually follow.

Back to our original situation- Women make assumptions about you based on your
social circle and friendships. Successful men interact mostly with other successful
people. If you're at a restaurant with Brad Pitt, many women will want to meet you.
Even if they have no chance at Brad, they'll be curious about someone who is so
cool that Brad Pitt counts you among his friends. Contrast this to you going out with
a generic-looking accountant (khakis, tucked in shirt, nothing stylish or
adventurous). Women will be far less interested in you - even though YOU haven't
changed - because they will infer things about you, your friends, and your lifestyle.

All of this goes to explain why you want your Friend to have value when you're out
together. Never cut him down. Act around him as if he were a movie star who is
also a good friend - as if he were a movie star, and it's totally normal for you to be
hanging out with movie stars.

Got it? Good. Now let's look at some specific ways you and your Friend can make
each other look great.

• The pre-introduction. This is one of the most crucial parts of being out with
a Friend. When you approach a group of people, the subject of "who are you
here with" should come up. This is a fantastic opportunity. Build him up to
have value. If I'm out with Braddock, I'll say that he's a successful stand-up
comic and radio host, former star athlete, etc. Building up your friend when
he is NOT around has much more of an effect than when he IS around. When
your Friend does join your group, he will have instant attraction.

• Interact with each other. Say you and your Friend are talking to two
women. During some of that time, you two should be talking to each other,
as opposed to both of you focused only on the women, 100% of the time.
This shows that your friends have value to you, that you're not completely
taken by the women you are talking to, etc. You can even talk ABOUT the
women you've met with your Friend - it's a great opportunity to tease them
or to introduce a venue change (e.g., Braddock: "Hey, Nick, I'm hungry. Let's
 go get sushi." Nick: "Cool. [to the women] Hey you guys should tag along,
we're going to my friend's restaurant; they have killer sake you've got to try
[takes women by the hand and leads them].").

• Give your Friend a boost. Not all interactions go well. If I'm out with
Braddock, and we're talking to two women, and it's going VERY well for him
and his woman, but not as well for me, then Braddock could say something
to the woman he's talking to, like "I'd love to stay and talk... I'm really
curious about you... but your friend is kind of being weird to my friend and I
don't want him to get bored." His woman will likely instantly elbow my
woman in the ribs and tell her to be nicer to me. Continue gaming from
there.

• Enter the group properly. Don't enter the group together. One of you
should go in, and then the other comes in later. You may need a simple code
to let your Friend know whether he should stay in the group or not.
Generally, you will always want your Friend in, for the reasons we've already
talked about. However, what if the group you entered is one man, two
women, and you were just about to pull one of the women somewhere else
to isolate her. Adding an extra man at this point is awkward, and
unnecessary, assuming that the other woman and the other man are getting
along. One system that I like is if I put my left hand into a fist when my
Friend comes into the group, he knows I don't want him to stay. Anything
else, and he can stay.

• Escalate physically in sync. Women don't like their friends to think that
they are "easy." But easy is not an objective standard - it's almost completely
relative. Whoever sleeps with her guy first is the easy one, whether it's 3
hours or 3 days or 3 months. So, if you and a Friend meet two women and
take them home, separate them so they can't see each other. Then escalate.
Moan loudly - make a lot of noise so it's obvious to the other couple that you
guys are getting physical. Then your Friend's woman won't feel cheap if she
lets him escalate, and when he or his woman also makes noise, it will
reassure your woman that it's okay.

• Respect "the rules." Whoever is the first one to approach a group gets to
choose which woman he will attract. No exceptions. Sometimes you need to
talk to the less interesting woman for an hour to give your Friend the time to
succeed with his woman. He'll do the same for you. No matter how much you
like the woman your Friend is talking to, you cannot steal her away. Trust
me, once you get good at this, you'll realize that there more than enough
beautiful women to go around.

Savoy